Baseball In The Daytime: Tax Day

It's also Jackie Robinson Day, and thus you have a scorekeeper's nightmare where entire teams and many players will don the universally retired No. 42 of Mr. Robinson. And, for historical accuracy, fans will hurl beer bottles and epithets at ballplayers on the field.

Actually, that probably won't happen. Instead we'll simply scan the diamonds for clutch hits and pitches, including those from the following games played without artificial light.

But first I must admonish our administrator for allowing some of the House's wiring to fall out of building code. The link to Kissing Suzy Kolber has changed, sir, and ours is out of date fine (Editor's Note: I'm on this shit, idiot). Just like old favorite The Dugout has been on AOL for almost a year (Ed. Note: You can still get there just fine, moron. And don't miss this instant classic). OK, so maybe the links do work, we're still missing some fantastic baseball-themed blogs. I demand Fire Joe Morgan make the cut. And Bugs & Cranks is deserving too (they even cover the Royals!). We ought to have a Rockies blog, and this one ain't bad. UmpBump, Walk Off Walk and Yanks Fan/Sox Fan are still in the minors, but could be called up midseason--give 'em a look (Ed. Note: These requests could easily be taken care of in an interoffice memo, but apparently it benefits your street cred to yell at The Man).

Oakland @ Chicago White Sox, 12:05 Mountain A couple of surprising junior circuit clubs take to The Cell's green grass, led by a couple of surprising junior pitchers: Dana Eveland and John Danks, bro.

Los Anaheim Angeloses @ Texas, 2:05 You can beat 'em up, you can knock out half their rotation, you can try to poison their fans, but these Angels just won't die. In fact, with all their challenges, they're but a game out of first in the West. Dustin Moseley, who is subbing for injured Lackey/Escobar, is your starter in red, while Kevin Millwood rehashes his tired act in Ranger blue.

Arizona @ San Francisco, 2:35 I've told you before how many home runs Micah Owings hit in high school, how bout some more fun trivia? Like he's dating this chick from Hong Kong? His opposition today, Kevin Correia, pronounces his name like "Korea." And Korea is in Asia, like Hong Kong. Join us in five days for more dumb facts about Micah Owings.

Kansas City @ Seattle, 4:40 I was going to dazzle y'all today with a bunch of hard core stats about Kansas City's pitching prowess this year, but then I saw that we've already shoved a bunch of Royals crap down your throat. We'll simply leave you with the fact that John Bale is going for KC's third straight complete game against Miguel Batista.

(Update: Walkoff Walk is now officially sent back to the Single A, and may be designated for assignment. The reason? Blatantly ripping off the feature you're currently reading. Was poaching a rhyming headline not enough for you assholes? Now you conveniently adopt the day-baseball beat that I've been running for nearly a year? Credit where credit's due, punks. If I see an image of clam juice we are throwing down.)