Saturday, January 31, 2009

Saturday Studmuffins: The Late Great Derrick Thomas

Fifth time's the charm, you might say. I for one, as a lifelong Chiefs fan, am glad that we can finally put this debate to rest: Derrick Thomas is in the National Football League Hall of Fame.

There are of course a number of possible angles to this story.

1) Those that feel he should've been in as a first-timer, can shed their frustrations, and simply be happy that he's in.

2) Those that know and believe he was a game-changing player, a guy you had to game plan for, can simply nod at the acknowledgment.

3) Those that think his off-field behaviors shouldn't've warranted an induction will feel new frustrations, especially if a member of a team they root for/represent got snubbed.

4) Those that insist that a championship-game appearance is required for induction saw their argument get weaker.

5) And of course, those that feel their team is under-represented in Canton likely are irritated by certain shoe-in inductees

not getting elected in on their first try. Reportedly, it was not expected by the Botox-lipped steed himself, but I'll bet any amount of gelding dung he's in before his fifth go, and that'll likely be in 2010.
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Friday, January 30, 2009

Historically Speaking: 1-30-09

I have no idea what this picture has to do with today's history lesson, but hey -- boobs. Right? Anyway, it's a pretty dreary day thumbing through the old annals, but if the almighty one gives you lemons...

* One hundred years ago today, work began on the first board-track automobile speedway in Playa del Rey -- or as we might say in English, "Beach of the God" -- California.

* In 1994, the Buffalo Bills, may God have mercy on their fan base, lost their fourth consecutive Super Bowl. This 30-13 loss was their second in a row to the Dallas Cowboys, also known as the club that will be the next to cut checks to one Michael Edward Shanahan.

* On this same day, Steffi Graf defeated Arantxa Sanchez Vicario in the women's Australian Open. It was Graf's second consecutive Australian Open championship appearance; she lost in '93 to Monica Seles.

* Six years later, the New York Mets announced that Garth Brooks would train with the baseball team. Brooks was ultimately cut; his roster spot was instead awarded to Chris Gaines.

* In other baseball news, based on an interview published by Sports Illustrated magazine, Atlanta Braves pitcher John Rocker was suspended by Major League Baseball for allegedly saying not-nice things about minorities, foreigners, and homosexuals.

And your Sports Illustrated quote of the day comes from the mouth of Pete Rose.

In 1981, after a plane with a sign in-tow that read "Luv, Christy," circled Philadelphia's Veterans Stadium, Rose, alleging that the words were intended for him, said, "I'm hard to reach on the phone."
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Thursday, January 29, 2009

Thursday ThumbTubes & YouNails: 1-29-09

We'll cut to the chase here, as my guts still aren't doing so hot. 'Tubes and 'Nails for all you attractive young bucks and lasses, after the jump.

This bit of Tubeage is pretty gay, except for the fact that it has hot, body-painted football fans in it.

(courtesy of With Leather via Busted Coverage)

A lot of horrendous nonsense regarding Joe Torre's new book has been circling the Nets, and to date I've restrained from commenting on it. But,

throw in a story about Roger Clemens having another grown man rub ointment on his genitalia, and all bets are off.

Stumped over what tender vittles to serve at your Super Bowl party? PETA suggests veggies.

(clip courtesy of Awful Announcing)

Seven days ago, the Kansas City Chiefs parted ways with Head Coach Herman Edwards.

The four-letter network has already scooped him up from the ranks of the unemployed.

In case you were unaware of how to throw a Super Bowl party,

Big Daddy Drew, in what is likely his last Jamboroo of the year, stopped in at Deadspin to break it down for one and all.

Since we've practically made a theme of including Kurt and Brenda Warner material here on the TT&YNs, we may as well continue.

Feel free to tell me in the comments what in the hell this story was about, 'cause I still don't get it.

We're under three weeks 'til catchers and pitchers report to spring training. As you can see, Cardinals fans are stoked to share their opinions:

(image courtesy of The Big Lead)

Finally, I don't get too caught up in the "D.T. to Canton" talks that surface every year for the last five, and this year won't be any different. There are, of course, many pushes around the area that try to paint the picture for why he should be in. This footage is one:

My favorite moments in the clip include things happening roughly around the 2:35, 4:20, 4:50, 6:05, 6:11, 6:44, and 7:44 marks.

(clip courtesy of Arrowhead Pride, via Warpaint Illustrated)

For a less time-consuming look, peer at the NFL's page.
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Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Historically Speaking: 1-28-09

I really enjoyed Old No. 7's Super Bowl culinary offerings yesterday, and upon reading it, thought for the rest of the afternoon, that I would today offer some snacktastic wizardries of my own. That was until I awoke at three with my backside ablaze, an appointment with the commode, my first of six (Update: seven) so far today, but who's counting. Needless to say, I'm not feeling very, uh, foody, this morning, so I may put that idea off until the morrow.

I will give a WAHCW the old college try at some point before the clock strikes midnight, as I'm hopeful that this thing will clear up, but I'm not making any promises.

Having shared all of those lovely details, let's have our morning history lesson with some toilet-reading material.

* Today in 1904, the University of Chicago awarded 'C'-emblazoned blankets to all seniors that had played the previous football season, thus the origin of the sports-letter tradition. I imagine those blankets came in handy in the event a teammate ever passed out on the can after a hearty post-game celebration.

* In 1949 the New York football Giants sign Monte Irvin and Ford Smith, the club's first African-American players, to the team.

* Eleven years later the National Football League announces that two new franchises have been awarded: The Dallas Cowboys would debut that season, the Minnesota Vikings the following.

* Nineteen years ago today, Joe Montana earned his third Super Bowl MVP in the championship's 24th contest of that title. Montana and his San Francisco 49ers put 55 points on the board against a rather runny, unsolid opponent.

* Six Super Bowls later, the aforementioned Cowboys made their fifth Super Bowl appearance, and defeated the (mouth-breather?) Pittsburgh Steelers by 10 points. At this point, a terrible towel sounds comforting in lieu of the paper has begun to feel like a rusty saw blade.

And your Sports Illustrated quote of the day comes from the mouth of... Atlanta Brave outfielder Lonnie Smith. Having gone 0-4 against San Diego Padre pitcher Bruce Hurst in 1991, Smith summarized: "It was the best he's ever made me look bad."
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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Super Bowl (Of Chili, Chips and Melted Cheese)

Thank Goodness Banky crafted a post on the weekend leadership turmoil in Kansas City. I tried on many occasions to summarize the events and kept getting stuck. Look, I can barely write about my own team firing its coach, much less the circus you guys have brewing out there.

So let's move on to the game we'll all be watching out of pure habit, Super Bowl Forty-Three. If you've found some shred of relevance to cling to in this thing, good for you. Maybe one of the key players attended your alma mater. Perhaps you typically shade toward the underdog, especially when they're facing a team and a fan base comprised of child-molesting, towel-waving mouth-breathers. Or maybe, just maybe, you put a few bucks on the game.

I, of course, whole-heartedly endorse gambling in all its forms. It makes a crappy game like Arizona-Pittsburgh seem positively mesmerizing. For this contest, though, my angle is food. You see, I'm throwing one of those big, cliche Super Bowl parties you've all suffered through, with two twists. One is that this football-watching fiesta is the last one I'll host for quite a while (baby due in April). The other is that the food is going to blow the doors off any foreign car within three blocks.

So all week we're going to talk grub here at the House. We'll drop you some easy-to-follow menu ideas that will dazzle your friends and the charm the panties right off any fillies you happen to wrangle into your kitchen this Sunday. Tasty vittles, after the jump...

One of the more endearing depressing commonalities among us HoG scribes is that we've all toiled forever in the restaurant biz. It got us through college, and then sustained us for many, many years after that. You see, we're all lazy and lacking any real ambition. So instead of following our chosen career tracks (medicine, the law, priesthood), we instead labored in the backs of greasy spoons.

The upside to this sloth is the ability to churn out a spread that will feed many guests. Now to do the same, you'll need to follow a few simple guidelines:

Get a crockpot. Hell, get two. Or six. Long the refuge of the lonely housewife, the slow cooker is actually a powerful tool of masculinity. Utilizing the crockpot in your arsenal allows you to heat and serve piping-hot dishes all day while you focus on more important tasks. Like, I don't know, watching the game. And drinking gallons of beer. And impressing your guests with football knowledge you've gleaned from reading the House of Georges all year. Scratch that last part.

Prep ahead of time. I know, it's elementary, but the more work you do early the less you'll have to do at gametime. Take a slice out of these last few weeknights and Saturday for prep and you'll enjoy your Sunday in drunken bliss.

Cheat. This tip is entirely predictable, as it comes from a lifelong Broncos fan. No one has to know you didn't spend 10 hours slaving over a smoker to produce that delicious pulled pork or rack of ribs. You can get ninety per cent of the flavor with ten per cent of the effort. An oven and a little liquid smoke go a long way, y'all.

And with that, let's get started on some chili. It can sit around all afternoon, all it needs is an occasional stir. You can smother it on burritos, burgers or hot dogs, you can make a Frito pie, you can dip chips in it, or you can just eat a bowl of it straight up. Versatile and powerful, just like Ben Roethlisberger's memory only the exact opposite.

Note: These are simple recipes for simple people. We're not the kind of guys that whittle things down to the teaspoon, we like measurements like "handful." If you need more precision, feel free to visit Allrecipes or the Food Network.

Green Chile

Now forgive me if I'm getting a little provincial here. I live down near the New Mexico border, which is normally not something to be bragged about. One benefit of proximity to this national eyesore, however, is access to savory green chile peppers. To whip up a batch you'll need to find frozen, roasted, peeled and diced chiles. The brand most available in my local grocery stores is Bueno. If you can find this stuff, you're in business. If not, call me an asshole and move on to the next dish.

You'll need a pound of ground chicken and a pound of cubed pork stew meat. Brown both in a skillet and transfer to a crock pot. Dice an onion and a head of garlic, and simmer them in that skillet with the little bits of fried meat and throw them in the crock as well. Add half a carton/can of chicken stock.

Bueno makes a variety of their frozen chile called Autumn Roast--it has more burned skins and and color variation in the peppers than their standard neon-green offering. It also only comes in Hot, so I'll typically do one large (or two small) tubs of Autumn Roast combined with one large tub of Mild. This makes for a nice crowd-pleasing stew--just enough heat to sweat off last night's whiskey bender but not so hot as to put your grandmother in the emergency room. Add your chiles to the crock pot (preferably thawed in a sink of cold water, but not necessary) and heat on high until it starts bubbling. Then crank 'er down to low and let it matriculate for a few hours, or days. Salt and pepper to taste.

Chili Con Queso

This can be as simple as dumping a brick of Velveeta and a can of Rotel into a crock pot. Nothing wrong with that, but just a tad more creativity can make a world of difference.

Velveeta technology has outpaced development of renewable energy and cancer treatment, and with good reason. Why would a brilliant chemical engineer want to get bogged down perfecting the electric car or a cure for leukemia when he can pioneer a better processed American cheese goo?

One thing I look for in my Velveeta is an absence of that sickly orange pigment that makes your queso look like bowling-alley cheese. Try the Mexican variety, which also adds some kick. You'll also want to sprinkle in some real cheese for authenticity. You can run the ball with pepper jack, but why not go deep with an exotic variety? Asadero? Havarti? Me, I like smoked Gouda--it adds another layer of flavor. Mince some fresh jalepeno, serrano or habanero peppers in to boot, perhaps some red bell peppers and cilantro leaves for color. Now add your foundation, one can of Rotel Original chiles-and-tomatoes, melt and you're in business.

Red Chili

I prefer to punt here and focus my efforts elsewhere. Campbell's makes a pretty damned tasty canned chili, I combine one can of Roadhouse and one can of Firehouse in my third crockpot and my United Nations palette of chili is complete. Serve with tortilla chips (quick tip: Tostitos makes a hard-to-find flour tortilla chip that will blow you away), Fritos, and sour cream garnish.

All through out the week we'll add to the feast, with main courses, sides and perhaps even dessert. I invite my colleagues to join in, I know for a fact that both of them possess red chili recipes that far exceed my canned option.

Update: If you are, in fact, purchasing a new crock pot, buy this one (discontinued but occasionally available on eBay) or this one. The multiple inserts allow you to heat several dishes at once.

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Historically Speaking: 1-27-09

Good ol' 27 January, known 'round the globe as the most exciting day in the annals of history. Make haste, coveted reader, for the indulgences and relics that await you, on the other side of the jump.

* All the way back in 1894, the first college basketball game was played today, and it was a barn-burner; the University of Chicago handed it to Chicago YMCA, 19-11.

* In 1963, baseball's Hall of Fame welcomed a bunch of guys I've never heard of to the mix. They went by insane monikers such as Sam Rice, Eppa Rixey, Elmer Flick, and John Clarkson.

* Two years later, the NHL saw its first Swedish-born player take the ice. That guy's name was Ulf Sterner, and destiny didn't have it in store for him to set any other records as he would only play in four contests.

* Nineteen eighty-four saw the impressive 51-game scoring streak of Wayne Gretzky come to a conclusion. The then-Edmonton Oiler got the feat underway in October of '83 and saw it come to an end with his soon-to-be-traded-to Los Angeles Kings.

* Finally, in 1998, the WNBA began filling the rosters of the Washington Mystics and the Detroit Shock, 11 years to the day before all six House of Georges readers would slit their wrists due to the boredom incurred while reading this post.

And your Sports Illustrated quote of the day comes from the mouth of...

former Washington Redskins receiver Gary Clark, who, in 1992, was asked, just before the Super Bowl, what was the one question he hated the most. His answer: "That one."
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Sunday, January 25, 2009

Sunday Sermon: At Long Last...

...the Tech Fee.I wanted to have a moment to digest the news from Friday, and now I don't really feel like getting into it. So, for the purposes of having a "Herm Got Fired" House of Georges post, I'll simply acknowledge the occurrence, and add a few comments.

1) I can't ever remember a time where Joe Posnanski and Jason Whitlock published same-day columns in The Kansas City Star and I vehemently sided with the latter over the former. On Saturday, based on the fact that J.P. thought it was unfair for Chiefs GM Scott Pioli to wait 10 days and J.W. did not, I did just that. Posnanski thought Herm deserved some respect and not to hang in the wind; Whitlock thought it honored what Chiefs Chairman Clark Hunt wanted: patience and research.

2) The media circus on Friday afternoon regarding the possibility of Mike Shanahan replacing Herm was one of the most ridiculous things I have ever witnessed. Jack Harry claimed it would happen. Chris Mortensen jumped on that train. Adam Schefter staunchly denied it, and in the end, Shanahan laughed. What a joke.

3) I'm equal parts confident and nervous as to who the 11th coach in Chiefs history will be. To all the local and national media that kept saying the new guy would be the 12th: Well, you were wrong there, too.

4) Old No. 7 had a pretty good idea what was in store for this franchise when the Edwards hiring was announced. I did not, and I feared he was right. He of course was. That was rock freaking bottom.

5) Perhaps there was something humbling about enduring a two-win season. I don't know what else -- aside from shameful, embarrassing, brutal, pathetic, ridiculous, absurd, retarded, infuriating, etc. -- to label it. I feel pretty good that I'll never again have that experience. Sure. It's possible. Anything is. But I wouldn't wish that upon any fans of any rival franchises. Not even Broncos fans. All I can say is that I'm glad it's over. I have a feeling we'll hire Todd Haley, who I'm not that stoked about, but we might as well get the damn Super Bowl over with, and get back to moving forward.
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Friday, January 23, 2009

Historically Speaking: 1-23-09

That's right, mother-scratchers. We made it. Now, the only challenge left is to get through today as unscathed as possible, not to mention with minimal work involved. Let's start the day off, though, with some sometimes-fun facts, courtesy of your friendly House of Georges team. Remember to breathe between bites, and pound a water between beers. Peace, y'all.

* Fifty-nine years ago today, the National Football League approved the unlimited-substitution rule that they'd experiemented with the previous season.

* Three years later, a little NFL franchise known as the Dallas Texans were moved to Baltimore, (Editor's Note: Redacted) where they took on the team colors of blue and white and became known as the Baltimore Colts. The franchise began as the Miami Seahawks in the All-American Football Conference, but was dissolved by the league after winning a total of 11 games in four seasons. The league granted Baltimore another go at a franchise when they were able to sell 15,000 season tickets in six weeks. The team remained for over 30 years until ownership at the time moved the club to Indianapolis where they continue to play today.

* In 1962, Bob Feller and Jackie Robinson were elected to baseball's Hall of Fame.

* Orenthal James Simpson became the first Heisman Trophy winner to be elected to the NFL Hall of Fame in 1985.

* And in 1993, a young lady by the name of Nancy Kerrigan won the U.S. Women's Figure Skating Championship. "Why, why?" Because she was the best, silly.

And your Sports Illustrated quote of the day comes from the mouth of...

...former New York Ranger Don Maloney. The winger was asked, circa 1982, to share a New Year's resolution, to which he replied, "To get as many goals this year as Wayne Gretzky got last week."
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Thursday, January 22, 2009

Thursday ThumbTubes & YouNails (now with even worser PhotoShop!): 1-22-09

Well, it's been quite a long day, and though I really didn't work hard at all, it still seems as though the weekend is weeks away. Lucky for all of us sports fans that there's nothing to talk about with regard to the Kansas City Chiefs and the Denver Broncos, and thank the heavens there's an entire week of no football. That's just grand. I suppose I'll be spending my Saturday and Sunday doing household chores and attending functions I was signed up for without my consent. Thanks a million, NFL. At least I still have my man cave to lurk in. You can't take that away from me, you communist league higher-ups.

I don't know about you, but I'm glad that Mike Tyson is still, in some sense, around. And candidly honest. And, um, awkward...

(courtesy of Awful Announcing)

Apparently Playboy is holding its Sexiest Sportscaster contest, and it's down to the final five. Shockingly, the hype is that Erin Andrews is still in the mix, but my vote goes to Molly Sullivan.

If you're so inclined, you can cast a vote here. If you're one of those guys that pitches a tent at the mere mentioning of Miss Andrews, you might want to know about Mr. SEC, who yesterday created a 750-page picture gallery of the famous sideliner. The link is here, but wait a minute before going there, as they're trying to figure out how to get it back up without all of the visits crashing their server. Kinda sounds like an average day around here.

I was rollin' around in the Dot last week, and a co-worker told me this book

was pretty funny, that he really enjoyed reading it. I've never read much R&R, but I understand he's taken a stance against the blogosphere in the past. And now ESPN has given Rick Reilly a blog. So far, it appears to contain nothing but short blips that are apparently funny to someone. Funny to no one, however, is the inclusion of the feature he's titled the Ricktionary. His first entry comes in the form of the suggestion that we get rid of the word "enjoy." So, go check out "Go Fish" and please, do not relish the time you spend there.

In an intriguing match of interests, Galactic Binder has put together a Top Ten list of Star Wars and sports crossovers. My favorite is number two:

Quickly now, from a positive note to a, er...not not negative one: Michael Irvin on radio was not enough.

Michael Irvin went to television. Michael Irvin sucked on television. Michael Irvin got busted with some non-his paraphernelia in his car. Michael Irvin got removed from television. Now Michael Irvin will have a reality TV show. I am begging you: Shoot me. Shoot me right in the face. Shoot me now.

Nate Davis of USA Today has put together a list of some of the greatest NFL athletes never to take a Super Bowl field.

Pretty unfortunate for a lot of those guys. Pretty good read for the rest of us. But back to uplifting...

(courtesy of Sharapova's Thigh)

Now, we mentioned Brenda Warner in last week's installment, and, while I don't think she'll be starring in or attending the Lingerie Bowl,

which may or may not feature -- but really, who cares? -- such talent as this:

Busted Coverage has an interesting look at her recent transformation.

And we'll go ahead and close it out with some Lingerie Bowl footage...

...'cause why the eff not?
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Thursday Thought: But What of the Mansion, Mike?

When my alarm clock went off this morning, one of the first choice words I heard coming at me from the TalkRadios was "Shanahan." Phrases such as "were he to come to Kansas City" and "this deal might actually happen" contrasted with other theories the gents were discussing, such as Shanny waiting for GM/head coach opportunity similar to the one he had in Denver, or taking a year off and becoming the Colts new head coach in 2010, should things not work out for whoever that guy that replaced Tony Dungy is. Naturally, I had to look around for some information on the Nets, and as usual, the boys at Arrowhead Pride had the scoop...

Now, non-Kansas Citians don't know Jack Harry. He's been in the local sports gig for literally as long as I can remember watching sports news on television. He's always been forward and opinionated. He's made a few moves between networks over the years. He's had some folks not care for him. And he loves him some cigarettes. I don't know that I'd call him a behind-the-scenes scoopster, but here's what he published yesterday. Tomorrow will tell how credible the veteran anchor' sources are.

Like Cecil said last week, I can't really process it, and I certainly can't see the man wearing red. Certainly not Herm's sweater-vest red.

(props to AP)

(Update: Adam Schefter of has reported, in not so many words, that Jack Harry is, um -- however you say "wrong" in English, not a great source. For said faux pas, he'd like Harry to purchase his next order of Lox 'n Latkes. And he gets to have Harry's pickles and 'kraut.)
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Historically Speaking: One/Double-Deuce/Oh Niner

Friday's almost here. Let's check in on a few sports facts from days past to kill a tiny bit of Thursday, shall we?

* During a Winter League baseball game in 1951, Fidel Castro was ejected from the contest for hitting a batter.

* In 1969 Roy Campanella and Stan Musial were elected to baseball's Hall of Fame.

* Joe Frazier lost the first fight of his professional career in 1973 when George Foreman defeated him via TKO in the second round of HBO's first televised boxing match. Frazier had been the undefeated heavyweight champ for three years.

* Fifteen years later, a cat from Catskill, NY by the name of Mike Tyson became the champ. His victory, also by way of technical knockout, came at the hands of Larry Holmes in the fourth round.

* And in 2001, NFL player Rae Carruth was sentenced to a minimum of 18 years, 11 months in prison. The one-time Carolina Panther shot his then-pregnant girlfriend Cherica Adams in 1999. Though the baby survived, Adams died one month later from the wounds.

And your Sports Illustrated quote of the day comes from the mouth of...

...Chicago Cubs manager Lou Piniella. The skipper was asked, circa 2007, what he sees in reliever Neal Cotts, who at the time held a 7.20 ERA in spring training. Piniella's response:

"I see he gives up runs every time he pitches."
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Wednesday, January 21, 2009

We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday: Bollywood, Bollywood Always Up To No Good

Like I mentioned the other day, if you haven't seen Slumdog Millionaire, get out and check it out. It's fantastic. Not only is it a great story that takes place in a series of incredible settings, the cast members do a phenomenal job, especially those that play the character Latika. When we first meet her, she's played by young Rubiana Ali, who's absolutely adorable. The adolescent Latika is portrayed by Tanvi Ganesh Lonkar, and though both roles are minimal for these young ladies, I'd imagine they have promising careers ahead of them. It is Freida Pinto, however, that delivers the knockout performance, thus our inspiration for today's feature.

Freida Pinto

It might be said that Miss Pinto has not achieved the levels of fame and recognition that some of her Indian peers have,

but she is beautiful, nonetheless.

On screen, she has a unique beauty and immeasurable charm. Born in Mumbai in 1984, Slumdog was her first film.

Naina Dhariwal

Miss Dhariwal has established herself as one of the most exotic Indian models working today.

She has appeared in a number of films,

on the cover of Maxim,

won Miss India in 2005,

has posed for Kingfisher calendar,

and perhaps been a bit more daring

than other famous Indian models

in that her bikini poses

are found abundantly on the Internets.

Priyanka Chopra

Priyanka was born in Jamshedpur, Jharkhand, India in 1982.

She has won Miss India World, and Miss World,

appeared in over 30 films,

won several Filmfare awards,

and studied both in her native country,

as well as in the United States.

Aishwarya Rai

Miss Rai was born in 1973 in Mangalore, Karnataka, India.

She speaks roughly half a dozen languages,

studies architecture,

and has appeared in three dozen movies.

Time magazine featured her on its cover in 2003,

and she has been a television guest on "Oprah,"

"60 Minutes,"

and on "The Late Show With David Letterman."

Here is a clip of that appearance, which is pretty funny, especially one of Letterman's closing comments:

That's today's installment. Thanks to the Googles for their endless efforts at making the Tubes easy to navigate.
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