Showing posts with label Music and Sports. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Music and Sports. Show all posts

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Tuesday Tidbits: Immigration Song

For as long as I can remember, I've been a huge music fan. This far-from-profound statement has nothing to do with anything, but I'll get to that in a minute. Led Zeppelin was, for many years, my favorite band. No one came close to even scraping the surface of their awesomeness. Cecil and I went toe to toe on many an occasion discussing who the better outfit was: Zeppelin or the Stones. I would say the Stones' music was drab and uninventive. He would claim that Zeppelin were nothing but blues-music ripoff artists. That debate, though it still silently continues, is one of another era. The multitude of things I appreciate about Zeppelin span myriad forms. The one I care to mention today is the imagery associated with their music. That is, not so much what the listener imagines, but the actual images produced and portrayed by the band.

One example of this is their dynamic album covers. Most of them are provocative and mystical, Coda notwithstanding. Another of the weaker displays of art would be the cover of III, which is a bit of a tricky album to initially embrace. At least it was for me, and in hindsight, I think that was only the case because of its chronological placement between II and the untitled album more commonly referred to as IV. That said, there are some really powerful cuts on III, but I've often felt it was a mistake to lead off with "Immigrant Song" simply because the jarring power of it drops off a massive precipice in terms of drive and delivery. This is in no means a criticism of the rest of the album's tracks. They are great and good in their own ways, but "Immigrant Song" is for sure the definitive track for that album.

The trouble with the album is its cover art. It's nothing shy of atrocious in comparison with the rest of the band's studio releases. There's no association for the art to go with the music like there is for say "Good Times Bad Times" or "Dazed and Confused" and the image of the Hindenburg on their self-titled debut. You could make this case with most any of their albums: the motley-crew Hell's Angels look of II goes well with tracks like "Moby Dick"; pick any track from IV and the image of the bent-over old man with the bundle of reeds on his back; the famous Houses of the Holy cover with "No Quarter" or "Over the Hills and Far Away"; and of course any dungeonesque track from Physical Graffiti -- I'm looking at you "Kashmir," "In the Light" -- goes well with the abandoned, industrial, post-apocalyptic look of its cover.

The point, though, is that there's an association with "Immigrant Song" and III as an album in its entirety, and the cover art released with that album doesn't fit. This is why I've always associated the image for Swan Song, the band's record label, with III, simply because it kicks off with "Song" and, lyrically, has a mythical feel to it, much like the winged man selected to represent the band's label. And the title for that opening track has had me thinking a lot in recent weeks, especially this current one.

I have, for the last 18 months been out of the restaurant industry and back in the social-services field I once ventured into right after college. It doesn't pay worth a crap. It can be taxing, stressful, and require a lot of driving, but I'm not in a kitchen nights, weekends, and holidays, logging 65+ hours on my feet anymore. And my position is one that has quite the philosophical, maybe political, dynamic sort of twist to it: I'm a bilingual case manager who carries a considerable number of undocumented clients on his load. The twist is that, to be a client for our agency, you must have some sort of mental-health issue or diagnosis in order to qualify. And obviously, yes, we do serve undocumented residents. But we're also a not-for-profit organization, which means we receive bundles of state and federal tax dollars to relieve the pressures of operational costs. Namely: the cost of services for uninsured -- who are as such because they're undocumented -- consumers and salaries for the folks that provide the services, i.e. mine.

In sum, it's likely what I imagine to be the worst-nightmare sort of situation for any conservative/right-wing/Republican type, and it's a prime example of why there is still such tremendous racial divide in this country. The topic of deportation has been in the headlines this week. The front page of The Kansas City Star yesterday discussed it, and today on Yahoo there's a piece about it as well. The latter link discusses the movement spurred by the Obama administration that utilizes fingerprints and allegedly targets illegal aliens whom've committed crimes, be they level one, two, or three variety of offenses.

Now, I don't frequently make the commenter rounds on the Web postings that I read, but I will from time to time. As I write this, that Yahoo piece has over 7000 comments on it, and of the 10 visible on the first page, not one is enlightening. Of course you can follow the link and read some yourself, but there is one that I feel compelled to share, and it comes from the brilliant fingers of one Td40, who calls himself Octavio Leos. And he has (all sic) this to say:

"in dallas on the first day of the month in ghetto neighborhoods the mail runs late why?
because most of the blacks in that neighborhoods that sell dope ,rob,rape,murder,are all getting government checks ssi,food stamp,section 8,and they are constantly talking about new ways to get money from the government and dont provide sht for the land.I say send all the blacks back to africa and give the illegals their citizenship, thay will do alot more than tyrone and shenequa will ever even think about doing"

In a strange fit of irony, the song "1st of tha Month" has been rolling around in my head for the last few days, namely because one of my clients -- with whom I have a tremendous relationship -- was released last Monday from the local juvenile detention facility and farmed out to a group home. My heart goes out to him and his family because they are all in pain and simply could not make it work. But I'm taken back to the song because, right out of college, as I mentioned, I was in this same field in southwest Colorado, and my position was at a group home. At this facility, most of the kids were into hip hop, and at the time, Bone Thugs-n-Harmony were pretty big. If you're unfamiliar, they're an outfit out of the city that used to be known as Cleveland (Editor's Note: We're still calling it Cleveland, but, given its grave condition, that may change post-mortem.) who, more or less, made it big thanks to the late Eazy-E signing them to the Ruthless Records label.

But, at this group home, if you had privileges, you could rock your beats at a reasonable volume, and one of the favorites was Bone Thugs. Many, many were the days that I heard both "1st"



and "Ghetto Cowboy," which the kids always attributed to Krayzie Bone, which is fair, but actually a product of the Mo Thugs family, consisting of Krayzie, Layzie Bone, Thug Queen, Powder, and many others and under many variations of the Thugs nomenclature. Catchy tune, though:



Getting back to "1st," I'm titanically embarrassed to admit that I never, until recently, knew what that song was about. I imagine I used to think it had something to do with celebrating the beginning of a new month and fresh start, which is nothing shy of naive, white-bred, and simpleton of me, but regardless, what the song really is about ties in with that divide I was talking about, that mountain-goat-like head butting that people in this country do, and seem to want to do with regards to the concepts of immigration, race, and equality. I'm not ashamed to admit that, even in parts of this decade, I've wondered if racial tensions had subsided to some degree. What's made me feel ashamed, is that, on occsion, I've substituted the curiosity for some semblance of legitimate hope, and often times I feel that that was a massive mistake.

Working with clients on my mostly Hispanic case load, hanging out at my neighborhood dive, reading the papers, watching professional sports, almost everywhere I go, there it is, lurking in the corners, stomping in the streets. And I'm sick of it.

There are those that claim to try and improve things by bringing things to light, to the surface, but in my humble opinion, they often do more wrong than good. What we need, I think, instead of continuing to highlight the injustices, both alleged and real, are ideas that the majority can get on board with. And when I say majority, it is crucial to bear in mind that I exclude folks like our pal Octavius, who are painfully distorted.

And this is where sports comes in. This whole disaster in Arizona has contributed to the divide, and that's because it announces the message that the state government has made it lawful to request papers from minorities, whereas in our national sports leagues, we, in varying degrees, embrace immigrants, and pay them huge salaries, to come play for our sports teams.

All four of our major professional sports employ immigrants and have been doing so for years. Christian Okoye and Tamba Hali are two Chiefs that come to mind in the NFL. The late Manut Bol, and now Yao Ming of the National Basketball Association are two hoops examples. The two biggest stars of the National Hockey League, Alexander Ovechkin and Sidney Crosby, are not Americans by birth. And Major League Baseball might be the biggest example, especially with all of the Latin-American talents brought to the United States to, eventually, play for big-league clubs.

Is there a foundation for professional athletes to advocate for immigrants? Can we make one? Look at the statutes created for these talents. Can this be a foundation for other types of immigrant workers? Or does this stuff already exist and I'm just too uniformed to know about it.

Let's get a discussion started in the comments. This means you, lone robot spammer.

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Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Complete Randomness



Stumbled across this interview that's only eight years old, but I thought it was top notch, so there you go.

Tune in tomorrow for a review of the most recent Indiana Jones movie. Also, the Stanley Cup Final game three is on in 40 minutes, in case you lost your TV guide.
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Friday, October 23, 2009

My Sports Life is a Rock Hip Hop Song: "Bionix"

Yo. How it be? I can't remember the last time we pulled out one of these features. I'm not even sure our archives are set up to go that far back. Like most of our series at one time or another, though, we're way overdue, and so we hope you enjoy this attempt to meld sports and music. Chances are you'll think it's super-dope lame, so if that's the case I'll apologize in advance. Truth be told, in case you were wondering, this song popped on the other day from the ol' iPod, and I'd just been wondering how long it's gonna take for De La to put out A.O.I. III. I mean, Christ -- ain't like we been waitin' eight years already. So, yeah. It was that and the fact that I couldn't bear to look at Cedric Benson's face anymore.

So this post goes out to the possibility of the new regime getting win number two this weekend when Norv and Marm' come to town. Rock it.

"Welcome to the second installment..
Y'all know my name so we ain't gotta get into alla that
Y'all know the deal
This is KC Chiefs part two, and we call this one Pialey
And as y'all always know, we gon' hit y'all with that KC shit
Yeah.. yeah..



Uh (better) yea (better, stronger)
Yea (better, stronger, faster)
Yea..

[Scott]



Ladies and gentlemen, we in the trench again
Makin' it a new team for you, and y'all deserve one, too
I'm introducin it, throw a little juice in it
Got rid of all that bullshit,



hope you weren't too used to it.

It's been a minute now, only a minute now
A little re-evaluatin', hope you feel me now.
I'm on some new me, focused on the new tree



Tryin to shake the money off the limbs for all them salary.

[Carl]



I blame the fans for it, I heard demands for it
Left for USA Football, they holdin' out they hands for it
Went to the youth, these kids are tryin' ta' dance for it
Ask for it after Todd brings you out of the break

[Todd]

Before we go any further, we wanna send a special thanks...

...to all those folks out there that been supportin KC since '89...

...Now that's a long time...

...Overseas, city to city, state to state...

...Yeah, we gon' keep bringin it live to you...

[Matt]



Unlike these underground MC's who rock for heads



We include the throat chest arms and legs.
No need throw a massive party to show you I'm here for a Lombardi.
I cultivate moves larger than that
And I don't ball too much, ya' dig
I gotta ball and chain at my crib who want my ass home
My heart beat USC metronome,
But I can adapt to where I'm at.
And even though I'll toss it sick to beat the blue,



I'm not a crip
So unlike Donkey fans I won't salute to look hip



But if I had to join a gang I'd join the Nation
Me, you, 48 of 50 states makes a huge creation
That drive cross style-country style, drivin' the short-bus mile



Hot and mild and I don't like my Sake tame
Drink a dozen cans of Life no weight I gain
We them champ type dishin' The 53 to make you love

...yeah kids...

Just a little taste how we gon' get things started in a minute
Sit back, get your gear on straight
Whether you're ridin' in a Escalade or a Pinto son, turn that shit up
Oh remember championship II comin soon, on some LJ shit
Yeah -- we about to get this shit poppin'..."
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Friday, May 22, 2009

My Sports Life is a Rock Song: "My (Redacted) Wants to Kill Your Mama"



Yass, yass! Dust off the archives shelves, kids. It's time for that grand old skeleton from the closet, "My Sports Life is a Rock Song." By now you know how to peruse the tools in the House, so if you're interested in seeing how long it's been since we cranked out one of these features, let your own damn fingers do the walking. As usual, we're going to uncomfortably force a theme in music with a theme in sports, and why not take two of the most peculiar chaps in the history of both categories, and make a post sandwich out of them. Epic fail, just after the jump.

If you're a Royals fan, and you've felt irked by the early-season performances (Editor's Note: You may of course peep in the comments here for his current streak.) of relief pitcher Kyle Farnsworth, you're not alone. I personally don't have that big a beef with the dude taking up a roster spot. He comes in. He pipes some high 90s action down the pipe. He gets a few strikeouts, gives up a few (sometimes game-winning) jacks, and he of course, serves a purpose. But you, the TalkRadio callers, the HoG readers, and the racist K brawlers, have been peeved by his existence in a Royals uniform, and Manager Trey Hillman's various decisions to call to the bullpen for his services. And you're entitled.

I, on the other hand, know that Frank Zappa's guitar wanted to kill some broad's mama, and (your relief pitcher) Kyle Farnsworth may well in fact kill your family some day. But you can't do anything about either of those things, so you may as well listen to some Frank, and root, root, root for Kansas City to handle the St. Louis Cardinals this weekend.



You know the fans, and the presses
Sayin' he's no good for you.
They call him dirty, Kyle Farnsworth
Til they don't know what to do.

I get so tired of the Trey Hillmans
When they pick up the bullpen phones.
I'd rather see ol' Jimmy Gobble
or the 50 year-old David Cones!
Said don't bring him in no more!

I can't take it.

The Professor wants to kill your mama.
The Professor wants to kill your mama.
The Professor wants to burn your dad,
He gets real mean when ya' make him mad!



Later, after the pressers,
George Brett said it wasn't fair.
He was a-screamin', and a-cussin'
askin' Jack Harry how you dare?

I get so tired of the Trey Hillmans
When they pick up the bullpen phones.
I'd rather see ol' Jimmy Gobble
or the 50 year-old David Cones!
Said don't bring him in no more!

I can't take it.

The Professor wants to kill your mama.
The Professor wants to kill your mama.
The Professor wants to burn your dad,
He gets real mean when ya' make him mad!

(a good Detroit-KC link here)

Before we get to the rest of our Friday business, allow me to notify you that your responses to the t-shirt drive have been greatly appreciated and we hope the orders keep rolling in. At this rate, we'll be able to sponsor the Professor's page (approval currently pending) until Old No. 7's kid is playing little league.

Huzzah!
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Friday, November 7, 2008

My Sports Life is a Rock Song: We Built This City

Oh yeah. I did. Believe it. It's been a while since we drug this feature out, and why not bring it back with something really, really bad. If you're new to the game, this is the part of the week where we make feeble efforts to portray our lives as sports fans through the agency of songs. It's a grand ol' time wherein trips down memory line are all but assured, as is album cover art and the occasional Tube of You. So jump back into the 80s for an abundance of mulleted white guys doing the proverbial white-guy dance.

First things first, though. Jefferson Airplane was the first incarnation of this band. It included Grace Slick, Jack Cassady, Jorma Kaukonen, and about eleventy billion other people in its various stages. This version of the band -- which was eating lots of drugs and doing their rockin' out in the mid and late 60s -- produced Surrealistic Pillow in 1967, which delivered key treats "White Rabbit" and "Somebody to Love." Then, in the early 70s on into the 80s, the outfit continued to swap out various band members for various reasons, and they became Jefferson Starship. They didn't really do much worth mentioning until 1978 when Gold came out -- it contained the single "Miracles" (Editor's Note: You can download that track here, but the House of Georges doesn't advise doing so) -- and again in '79 when they released Freedom at Point Zero. That album had the single "Jane" on it, which you can listen to a live version of here, but I wouldn't necessarily recommend it. And in 1981 they cranked out Modern Times, which had "Stranger" on it and you can dig into that below if you like. I strongly suggest you do not like.



Anyway, the 80s are reaching the halfway point and it's time to jump (Jefferson Star) ship again. This time they just go with Starship, and in 1985 they put out Knee Deep in the Hoopla. And let me take this opportunity to mention that if you ever title an album Knee Deep in the Hoopla and then use the phrase "knee deep in the hoopla" in a song on that album, you are beyond hopeless. Either way, that's the song we're featuring today for the simple reason that that's what Kansas City sports is doing right now: building this city. They aren't building it on rock and roll of course, but championship sports franchises.

Please. Go ahead. Pause and consider what crafty phrase you'll offer in the comments about not being able to use the words "Kansas City" and "sports championships" in the same sentence. I'll wait...

You got yours? Good. I'll be looking for it. They are, nevertheless, showing signs of improvement. I'll point to this fine product as the building block. I'll then mention that for the third consecutive season, the Royals won more games than the previous campaign, did not finish last in the AL Central this year, and have already added a tiny bit of power to their batting lineup. Royals GM Dayton Moore has speculated that that might be the only move they make this off-season with regard to free agency. There are rumors, though, that they're looking at getting a shortstop in here and moving Mike Aviles to second base, his natural position. I hate using that phrase, but they made me do it. Anyway, if the one-through-three of Greinke, Meche, and Bannister can improve upon last year's performance, and the Royals really are doing the right thing in terms of getting sticks in here, then a shot in the post-season could very well be two seasons away.

On the other side of Truman Sports Complex, the Kansas City Chiefs have, in the last two weeks, shown that they can at very least, hang around in a professional football game, which, with the exception of the Denver game, had not at all been the case in this all-time, depression-invoking season of football in KC. Now, do I want to hang my marbles on Tyler Thigpen? Not exactly. Do I think that Larry Johnson will re-gain his once-dominant backfield form? Let's ask the magic eight ball...



That's what I thought. I am, however, stoked for Charles in Charge to get his high-level game on. I do think there's some talent on this defense, and I do like having Mark Bradley around to complement Dwayne Bowe and Tony Gonzalez. It is certainly possible that Chiefs GM Carl Peterson made the right move in hiring Herm Edwards, and that Edwards has this club headed in the right direction. Before the Jets game two weeks ago, I didn't see it. I still don't; it's possible their play the last two Sundays was a fluke. But I'll hang around a bit longer and check 'em out. I'm eager to get rid of this kind of writing (props to Arrowhead Pride).

Therefore, call the thimbles full of "right moves" rock and the vats of patience roll, and I guess we can, so long as it's Starship-free, say we built this city on rock and roll.



And in case you're really that bored, 'Hoopla also had "Sara" on it. You know: "storms are brew-in' in your eyes, o-oh..." Both singles hit number one, which none of the previous versions of the band had managed. The album itself went platinum and hit number seven, which hopefully, in hindsight, totals up to a lot of really embarrassed Americans. Then, they produced "Nothin's Gonna Stop Us Now" as their contribution to the soundtrack for the movie Mannequin,



which I never saw because one track is a wee too much Starship for me, but whatever. They broke up some more, re-assembled some other versions of the band, then made Jefferson Starship -- The Next Generation, and things got way too Star Trekky for most folks to handle. They had all kinds of side projects and solo albums rolling around in the early-to-mid 90s, and in between various live album and greatest-hit album pilferings, the guy that runs this production company booked some variation of them to play a gig at The Iron Horse Inn in ol' Durango. Us three House of Georgesters were scribin' away at THE Fort Lewis College newspaper, and since I was the A&E dude, and had a working relationship with said production company proprietor, I went to the gig. It was probably part of this tour.

He and I will both tell you that it was downright awful. I think Paul Kantner got pissed off at the crowd -- who was pissed off at the band for making them drive out to The Iron Horse, and for sucking -- and said some mean things to them. The thing might've even been cut earlier than slated, but who knows and who cares. Starship, nevertheless has...you guessed it: continued through these past years to play Musical Band Members, continue touring, and hell -- they even put out an album in September. It's called Jefferson's Tree of Liberty. It's got 19 tracks, 23 musicians, and according to Dave DiMartino at Yahoo!, it doesn't suck. Bill Brotherton of the Boston Herald doesn't really agree, though.

And you, precious reader -- if you're feeling daring and daunting, you can buy it here. But I wouldn't necessarily say that that would be a wise investment.

(Note: Other Sports Life/Rock Song installments can be found here.)
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Saturday, October 4, 2008

My Sports Life is a Rock Song: For Whom the Bell Tolls


Ah, Metallica. Despite their having sucked for nearly 18 years--20 if you listen to the diehards, the ones still wearing their '82 tour shirts and tinkering with engines on blocks in their kitchens--dudes my age retain a special spot for Lars and the lads and have a hard time letting go of the past. The glorious, Cliff 'Em All past.

Every once in a while, I just find myself saying "Master of puppets is pulling your strings!" under my breath, usually during meetings at work, while unconsciously uncorking a lil' air guitar under the table. And I'm not alone--if you liked the heavy music in the '80s, whether metal or punk or what have you, you didn't just like the Metallica, you loved them. Loved them with the kind of love your parents wish you'd reserved for homework or church or sobriety.

And if, say, you grew up in a relatively dull and desolate place--maybe the empty gray plains of northern Colorado, for argument's sake--chances are you thought of them as something larger. Something somehow more meaningful than yourself, a representative version of your own pimply angst cranked past 11.

All of which makes the band's current corporate, personal humidor-on-tour version almost surreal in its wrongness; this used to be a stubbornly, defiantly anti-corporate outfit, choosing not to make videos or play nice on tour with acts like Ratt. They were just four dudes who fucking bashed it, grinding out songs like "Battery" and "Creeping Death" for the benefit of a similarly unpretentious group of fans, many of whom needed showers. Now?

Now I'm ashamed to say that I once saw them play Red Rocks with The Cult--and helped to boo The Cult offstage. I'm ashamed that my youthful fandom of such works of metal genius as ...And Justice For All somehow paved the way for Load and Reload.

But still the vestiges linger. So when I contemplate my Chicago Cubs' likely post-season demise, I solemnly hum to myself that ancient dirge of my black t-shirted youth "For Whom the Bell Tolls."

As with all early Metallica, that's a deceptively heavy number, huge guitar crunch on a time signature somewhere over Iron Maiden and behind Slayer. It's also a depressing, end-times stare into the abyss from the point of view of soldiers about to die in a firefight. (As well as the title of a book by Hemingway and a poem by John Donne.)

And well, other than the soldiers bit, it might have been written by Lou Piniella.

Because those historic Cubs, the team that should be cruising past this bullshit, taped-together Dodgers squad, is in danger of finding itself, once again, in their historically familiar position of Loser.

And not just in the usual, expected, kinda-loser stance they tend to adopt, oh no. Big Loser. Huge Loser. Fuckup of Historic Proportion Loser. A team doesn't finish with the best record in the major leagues, following a largely dominant regular season--a regular season in which said team demonstrated repeatedly that it had the kind of makeup that finally at long last breaks century-long streaks of abject fucking futility--and then roll over to Manny Being Manny and the Manager Formerly Known as Joe Torre without earning that capital L.

Now, could they still salvage things? Could Harden take it to the suddenly invincible Dodgers in LA tonight, in a matchup against Kuroda that I like (even though he shut us out in a 4-hitter earlier in the season)? Could that be the spark that turns this 5-game House of Nightmares into the House of Guilt-Free Handjobs?

Well, yeah. It's possible. But I'm a Cubs fan, for fuck's sake. I don't think that way. It's over, oh God. We're all gonna die.
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Friday, September 12, 2008

My Sports Life is a Rock Song: "The Final Countdown"

We're back with another installment of "My Sports Life is a Rock Song," the fabulously popular feature where we take a song title and make it a metaphor for what's happening in our world of sports. Most 80s rock sucks. No secret there. And most hair bands were really bad. Also not news. I think, however, that I've subconsciously been awaiting the opportunity to include Europe in this feature for one purpose or another, and it turns out that day is today. After the jump, analyze this thrown-together, poorly written attempt to blend sports and music, then promise to always come back for future installments. You're gonna love it.

With 16 games left in the season, I'm pleased (in a distorted kind of way) that there will be no talk of the Royals losing 100 ball games this year. No. Not much of an accomplishment. More importantly, I am disappointed to say that my hopes of the Royals threatening to play .500 ball are pretty much out of grasp. Right now, they're losing to Cleveland, and hold a record of 62-83, and are on comparable grounds with quite a few teams around the league. For instance, they're not as bad as San Diego or Seattle, or Washington or Pittsburgh, but that ain't no solace. They're right in the neighborhood of the Orioles, the Giants, the Reds, the Braves, and the Athletics, which is some pretty miserly company.

Perhaps when I hoped that they would nestle in around .500 this year, make a run at the Central next year, and be in the post-season in 2010, I was overly optimistic. There was of course the 12-game losing streak in the spring, and August was pretty much atrocious for KC, both of which derailed my grand scheme. They have shown improvement, however, so there's still hope. Dayton Moore fired the president of the scouting department earlier in the week, and there's a lot of better-than-decent youth on the roster right now. I'm hopeful that this upcoming off-season will be an exciting one, one that doesn't really involve any free-agent transactions, but rather flourishes with details of progressing talent in the minors, and in Latin America.

I'm thankful for all of the baseball I got to watch and listen to this season, thankful that there still is reason to believe that Moore and Trey Hillman can get this thing turned around. And of course, I'm thankful that my pretty bad baseball team's season will end, leaving me with an abundance of time to watch my pretty bad football team. Suh. Wheat.
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Friday, July 11, 2008

My Sports Life is a Rock Song: "Good King Wenceslas"

When we kicked off this feature, I wanted to make it clear in the introduction to the debut installment, that "Rock" as part of the title only exists for the sake of a good-sounding name. So, yeah. Christmas songs count, too. Now, as we approach the boundary waters of NFL training camp days, I'm not feeling too terrible about the Chiefs this year. That is, I know they're not going to be great, and I know they won't lose 16 games. I also know they won't be good, per se, but don't really think they'll be all that bad. What I mean is, I think there will be some positives to the game they put on the field, but beyond that, I have no idea what this team will look like. So I'm throwing out this wintry classic by John Mason Neale about the one-time king of Bohemia who was killed by his brother, whose name was Boleslaw. Ouch.

Av'rage Coach Ed-wards looked out,
On the eve of the season.
A match with the Pats left want for shout,
Good fortune he was teasin'.
The crystal ball clutched in his palm,
Repeatedly looked foggy.
Most of his young players did not look calm,
leaving him quite groggy.

Herm he placed a trepid call,
to his GM's chambers.
"We gonna win some games this fall,
Show them all we gamers."
"Best be true lest we be axed,"
Was King Carl's answer.
"Clark's good fan base has been taxed,
They'll skewer us like a lancer."

"Fret not Mr. Pet-er-son,
Have ye faith in Herman.
I'm the man to get it done,
I preach quite a sermon."
"Save your words for the 'morrow,
Kindle up some spirit.
From Belichick's book I hope you borrow,
Save SpyGate 'cause I fear it."

"Carl you know I'm not a cheat,
That just ain't my sty-le.
I've trained these kids to not be beat,
They've run six scores a mi-le."
"Beat these guys, nee, beat them all,
My crave is for Lom-bar-di.
A bust of me should grace the Hall,
I've felt since days of Mar-ty."

"Fear not o proud boss of mine,
I'm certain you will be proud.
On KC the sun will shine,
Our home again shall be loud.
Prom-i-ses of void I'll not,
I'll leave you free from sha-ame.
Or Herm Edwards my name is not,
We play to win the ga-ame!"

So, yeah. Chiefs Nation has the certainty of mock Christmas tunes in the department of faith going for it. Which is nice.

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Friday, June 27, 2008

My Sports Life is a Rock Song: "Say It Ain't So"

Time now for another installment of "My Sports Life is a Rock Song," and I'll just go ahead and say it: I don't mind Weezer at all. Sometimes I kinda dig 'em, even. I'm sure there are plenty of varying opinions on them, as is always the case with music, but the purpose of this feature is to (at least attempt to) mix the emotion associated with a track with a personal feeling regarding the sporting world. For tonight's purposes, this band and the selection fits a purpose. For reals. Jump on it.

Given the tendencies of my colleagues, I'm surprised that the recent tear of Royals wins hasn't already generated a post with sentiments similar to this one. Having defeated the St. Louis Cardinals 7-2 tonight, the current KC trend looks something like six wins in a row, 9-1 in the last 10, and a 13-3 record thus far in inter-league play this year. Of course, being 4-0 against St. Louis is pretty sweet, too. None of this, however, should be a hint, or a suggestion of any kind, that the Royals should've taken the opportunity (if it really ever existed) to switch leagues.

In many ways, I'm an old-fashioned guy. I like my baseball (with stirrups) American League-style, with the Brewers and the Royals in it, and plenty of designated hitting. Divisonal and post-season realignment don't really bother me anymore, and in fact, never did. I'm still a little unsure as to how I feel about the still-semi-new scheduling format, but it's not terrible by any means. Anyway, I've always considered the AL to be more competitive, and I don't think I'm in the minority, but I wouldn't take a KC league swap for anything, even if it meant more Royals victories. It just wouldn't hold the same meaning. I feel the same way about my sports equipment. I don't want better sneakers to improve my hoops game. I'll pass on the spendy driver to get more yardage out of the box, and I don't want a nicer stick just so I can improve my slap shot. I want to get better at all of those things with practice, and then get the fancy gadgets. The same goes for the Royals being a competitor in the AL Central.

If this club has things semi-righted, and will do as I think they might, I want them good where the competition is tough. The Central has faltered a bit this season in terms of best division in the game. Both the West and the East have three plus-.500 teams, while the Central only has two. And of course credit is due to the NL Central thus far as well. The point is that the Royals must continue to display the (of late) desirable balance of good pitching with decent bats, now that inter-league play is drawing to a close for the season. When St. Louis leaves town, KC travels to Baltimore, a club that's given them consistent troubles in recent years, then to Tampa Bay, and back home for a White Sox/Mariners home stand before the break. And it's time to translate this potentially competitive baseball playing to the league in which they play.

Ultimately, I'm grateful that they never really even considered a move, as that is not the way to improved baseball playing in my book. While entertaining the notion might be amusing or bizarre to some, I simply say it ain't so. The Royals are an American League club, that once inhabited the West, and for my money, will always inhabit the Central, barring any unforeseen future realignment. If I were a Red Sox fan, I'd probably relish in the opportunity to watch my team battle the Yankees, Jays, Os, and Rays on a consistent level, just as I enjoy matches against the Twinkies, Tribe, Sox of White, and Tigers.

I do believe that baseball is back, its wrinkles will be ironed out, its popularity continue to grow. I enjoy the game now more than any other time since childhood, and I look forward to 2010, when I plan on loading up my basement with AL Central Champs material. In the meantime, I wish for the boys in blue to keep playing hard, and of course, stay classy.
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Sunday, June 8, 2008

My Sports Life is a Rock Song: "Sunday, Bloody Sunday"

This is "My Sports Life is a Rock Song," a weekly series in which the House of Georges attempts to mix professional sports opinion with music. We've thus far tended to stay in the rock genre, but not intentionally; our last installment of this series attempted to meld Ice Cube and the Kansas City Royals, and we've gone punk on one occasion, too. This go-'round goes out on the unusually placed end-of-the-weekend slot, and the feature track is perhaps the influence. The content of the post, however, is miscellaneous in nature. After the jump, we'll have a look at some professional football, a bit of basketball NBA-style, and of course, some Kansas City Royals baseball.

Recently, we teamed up with the Yard Barker Network, and there're an impressive number of sports bloggers out there that either write for the site, belong to the network, or simply frequent it for news and updates. For a sample of some writing that goes on "in the Yard," here's a bit from SpankDaddy that discusses why Kobe Bryant will never be like Mike -- a sentiment with which I agree -- or a number of others for that matter. Speaking of Kobe and the Lakers, Bleacher Report is another network member, and BR's Senior Writer Jeff Little examines tonight's second-of-the-series contest between L.A. and Boston. I'm not linking to Mr. Little's post so that I may rip on him; his was the first preview I came across, and I'm too lazy to look for another. I couldn't disagree with commenter Max any stronger than I do. The piece is not "great," and in this instance, I don't think they author is "quite good at writing." What I do think is that the preview is full of useless generalities, and (at least one) inaccuracy.

Paragraph -- though I wouldn't really call them that -- eight includes the line, "The Celtics played tremendous defense," and I think we all know (Editor's Note: Shut up, Lone Reader.) that no one plays defense in the NBA. Actually, I've heard several recent claims that the league-wide level of overall D has improved significantly in recent years, but it's more fun to still gripe about it. Anyway, the piece is very generic, poorly punctuated, and lacking a prediction. I've picked the Celts to win the series, but I think the Lakers rebound (Note: No pun intended.), and come away with the victory this evening, 103-98. In Little's defense, he is a Raiders fan, and a guy who, in his profile, claims that his sports "takes are always on point." So he's got that working against for him.

In football news, The Big Lead points out that "Jeremy Shockey is douchey." I couldn't agree more. They also share with us the news of a certain Chicago Bears running back who was, in numerous allegations, wrongfully arrested last month for boating while under the influence/intoxicated. The latest: he was arrested on Friday for driving in similar conditions, and running a red light. His lawyer, in a statement I can't wrap my head around, insists that Benson was not intoxicated. The tailback refused to take a breathalyzer or participate in a blood screening. Hmm...Kinda leaves Bears Nation singing, "I can't believe the news today. I can't close my eyes and make it go away..."

TBL writes:

This kind of throws a dagger in the heart of the “cops singled me out” story. BWI + DWI = no football in Chicago, one would presume. The Bears have yet to release a statement, but I’m confident that when that happens, it will involve a release of Benson.

And for the love of the Creator, Cedric, call a cab or hire a driver. You have the funds.


Again, couldn't agree more. I'm sure these guys won't, though. We've agreed to disagree regarding some of the details related to Mr. Benson's last-month arrest.

In Chiefs news, a deal with first-round pick Glenn Dorsey doesn't appear to be just around the corner. And Greg Wesley's in minicamp, though he doesn't know what his role with the club is. I feel like this is the third year in a row we've heard this story.

On the baseball diamond, I'm a few games away from throwing my hands up regarding the Royals and this season. Doesn't mean I won't follow and root, but I won't be able to confidently steer the vessel known as "Operation Play .500 Ball" without fear of sinking. Since snapping their 12-game losing streak, they've gone 2-5. They took two from the Cleveland Indians, got swept by the division-leading Chicago White Sox, then kicked off a series in New York where they win a pitchers' dual (2-1), allow a Yankees come-from-behind win in a hitters' exchange (12-11), and squandered another lead today, losing 6-3. They make no sense, and I have no idea what the solution is. I theorize that it has something to do with getting some gelling between the younger guys and the veterans, and figuring out who your (more or less) everyday lineup is going to include.

In Chicago, they, for the most part, kept games close with good pitching, and decent-at-best hitting, but they gave up about 87 homeruns in that three-game stretch. Yeah. I know. That means the pitching wasn't good. But it wasn't bad. Then they travel to the Bronx to face a struggling Yankees club, get decent starts out of their guys to split the first two, only to let game three slide away with a blast from Jason "Gold Bond" Giambi. Fuck. That guy's had one of the shittiest starts to a season in his career. One more game against the 'Stripes before hosting the Rangers for three, then two solid weeks of Inter-League play featuring Arizona, the Cardinals (twice), the Giants, and the Rockies. Come July, this team will have a hot stretch of summer baseball, where it's time to resemble the temperature, or reassemble the club.

In other extremely unfunny Royals news, the club only waited three too many years to do this. Jesus. Ever since his AL Rookie of the Year season, Royals fans have been watching the fielding blunders and eptiomally awful strikeouts of Berroa, leaving us singing, "How long -- How long must we sing this song?"
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Friday, May 30, 2008

My Sports Life is a Rock Song: "You Can Do It"

Some numbers are rollin' around in my head this Friday evening. It's 5-4 Cleveland (leading the Royals) at home, in the bottom of the eighth. They were leading this ball game three innings ago, and my prediction of one year ago -- that the Royals would threaten to play .500 ball this year -- is suffering its worst valley of this season. The 11-game losing streak has been absolutely brutal -- (Update:the Tribe just turned two to end the inning) -- in the sense that a losing streak of that length is bad enough by itself, but even worse the way it's gone down. Details after the jump.

Every streak of losing -- trust me, I have a PhD in them by this point -- is rough. Last year's franchise-record 19-game stretch was ugly. Yet somehow, it doesn't seem as though that one was as rough as this one's been. Perhaps it's because I had more faith -- it hasn't yet expired, by any means -- in the club headed into the season. Perhaps because with the good pitching assembled by Dayton Moore, Trey Hillman, and company, I figured the sticks of Teahen, Gordon, Butler, and Buck, added to by the Jose Guillen acquisition, would be a nice complement to the squad of hurlers, setup men, and Soria as the closer.

This streak, though, has some numbers that are way painful to stomach. Courtesy of today's The Kansas City Star, here are some token losing-streak stats:

Kansas City has allowed 67 runs, compared to 28 scored. Starters have allowed five or more runs seven times. And the doozies include: three surrendered grand slams, two shutouts, two extra-inning defeats (one they tied in the ninth, one they allowed a ninth-inning tie when they entered it up five), and a no-hitter. Yes, that no-no by Lester of the Red Sox seems like it was an eternity ago, and it perhaps was the impetus for this trail of doom and misery. But enough about Boston and woe.

It's time to turn to O'Shea Jackson, and a track from Volume II of the War & Peace album: "You Can Do It." Cheesy, I know. But I've been beaten about the spirit and the gut for the better part of two weeks. (Update: Though I don't expect this post to affect tonight's game, it is interesting that Esteban German just plunked one off the top of the left-center wall for a stand-up double.)

"You can do it,
Put your back into it."

Amazing lyrics, right?

"It's a marathon,
F--- the cemetary that a n---a gets buried on."

(Update: And Grady Sizemore just slammed into the wall, robbing Jose Guillen of a base hit.)

"And it's sink or swim,
you got to think to win."

I say get base hits, but whatever. The Royals have outhit many an opponent during this stretch, and, no surprise, they've left many more base runners aboard, too. They need sluggers, or at least one. Now. It is a marathon, and that streak is now 12. Let's not toy with last year's toll. We'll start looking like a cemetary that a Royal gets buried on.
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Thursday, May 22, 2008

My Sports Life is a Rock Song: Nervous Breakdown


Yes, dipping my toe into the SLiaRS territory, and damn, it feels...well, pretty much like it always does when I post: somewhat addled.

So we're going straight to the heart of American punk rock for this one. Black Flag's classic transcended lead singer, whether it was Chavo or Dez or Hank or any of the other random assholes who occasionally hopped onstage for Greg Ginn and Co.

And to say the least, it accurately describes the current state of any thinking Bronco fan.

With Brandon Marshall wrestling a McDonald's bag and Mike Shanahan firing his GM and Pat Bowlen inexplicably crying poverty and the middle linebacker and the (deep breath) many other issues that confront Orange-n-Blueville, how can we not feel thus:

I'm about
To have a nervous breakdown
My head really hurts


Man, if that ain't the troof. And then the injury to Tony Scheffler--really a continuation of last year's aggravating foot problem--and hearing John Clayton badmouth 'em on local sports talk radio, and that same station's insistence that losing Jason Elam was the signature issue of the offseason, well...

If I don't find my way outta here
I'm gonna go berserk


Testify.

If, on the flip, we manage to scrape together a half-decent season, then we'll visit America's Greatest Hardcore Band--maybe "Six Pack," or if it involves Philip Rivers, "My War."
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Friday, May 9, 2008

My Sports Life Is A Rock Song: Baba O'Riley

Editor's Note: This is normally Banky's gig, but I'll give it a stab just this once.

My brother bought a used PA the other day. He's been in a series of bands and is good at making loud noises, so it made sense. When I first heard he was looking, I gave him $200. Now if you know my brother, you're aware that giving him any amount of cash is akin to dropping it in a creek after a rainstorm. But my foolish spending was an investment. You see, I get to use that PA on Saturday afternoons this fall to tailgate at college football games, and if I can save up enough gas money that PA, a generator and me will erect ourselves in the Invesco parking lot December 7.

I spent two hundred dollars so I can play Baba O'Riley really, really loud.

I've always loved that song, but it was taken away from me for many years by an evil batting-helmet-throwing bitch-ass twerp named Paul O'Neill. And now I'm taking it back, with several thousand watts of authority behind me.

Paul O'Neill played half his career for the Cincinnati Reds, and he was a pretty darn good player. Not great, not lousy, pretty darn good. Take a peek at any player on Baseball Reference and they'll give you his stats in exhaustive detail, as well as a neat little feature where they align that guy with other players of similar stature. For O'Neill, it's outfielders like Moises Alou, Bobby Bonilla, Garret Anderson, Ruben Sierra. Pretty darn good ballplayers, right? Not great, not lousy, pretty darn good.

Then, in 1992, Paul O'Neill was traded to the Yankees. At the time it didn't matter, because the Yankees were kind of a joke. They never went to the playoffs, the Stadium was always deserted, and Don Mattingly alone tried in vain to lift the team back up to its former stature. In fact, the player O'Neill was traded for (Roberto Kelly) perfectly embodied the Mattingly Yankees. He was average in every way--in fact, those New York clubs also employed another Kelly (Pat Kelly) and I could never remember which was which. I think Pat was the white one.

So O'Neill made his way to the Bronx and started playing right field, and no one really noticed. Unfortunately for me, and my relationship with Baba O'Riley, there was a large knot of soon-to-be-great players working their way up through the Yankees' farm system. Within a couple of seasons, O'Neill would be joined by Derek Jeter, Mariano Rivera, Bernie Williams, Jorge Posada and Andy Pettitte. Even worse, the banishment of George Steinbrenner over the Dave Winfield Affair left the front office in the hands of actual capable baseball men like Bob Watson and Brian Cashman. They refused to trade this young talent and they acquired veterans that could work with new manager Joe Torre, guys like Joe Girardi, David Cone and Tim Raines.

They started winning World Series, every single fucking year, but that didn't bother me. Every great era of baseball has coincided with a Yankees dynasty--they always spend the most money and by default end up with great players. In fact, many of the most memorable teams in baseball history are the ones that defeated dynastic Yankee clubs--the Cardinals of Musial in '42 and Gibson in '64, the Brooklyn Dodgers in '55, the Milwaukee Braves in '57, Bill Mazeroski's walk-off Pirates in '60, Sandy Koufax's Dodgers in '63, the Big Red Machine in '76, the Dodgers again in '81, and of course most every champion this decade: Angels, Marlins, Diamondbacks, and the '04 Red Sox coming back from 0-3 in the ALCS.

No, it wasn't their greatness that bothered me, it was Paul O'Neill. Paul O'Neill might have been the single most annoying baseball player ever to don stirrups. He bitched at umps as if he were channeling Tim Duncan, Greg Popovich, Manu Ginobli and Tony Parker all at the same time. Any bad at-bat could result in an entire dugout getting violently rearranged, but a strikeout meant he would walk up to the concourse and upset every peanut cart and hot dog stand in the park.

Then there was the helmet toss. Paul O'Neill elevated it to an art form. If the "art" you're discussing looks like this.


Take all of that, the bitching and the yelling and the bush league shenanigans, and top it off with the fact that Paul O'Neill got to walk out to the hallowed left-handed batter's box at Yankee Stadium--the same one that Donnie Baseball, the Mick, the Babe and Reggie all dug into--to the strains of the greatest at-bat song of all time. Fuck him, and then fuck him again.

Baba O'Riley was ruined for me for quite some time. I knew I'd come back, eventually, once O'Neill retired and the awful chalky residue he left behind was rinsed from my palette. Now is that time, as Paul O'Neill has gone from anonymous outfielder to obnoxious asshole to inexplicably beloved Yankee heartthrob to unquestioned national joke. Thank you, Joe Posnanski, for helping this process along, and get ready to rock on, Rockers. Baba is back.

Update: In re-reading Posnanski's bit on the O'Neill number controversy, I realize that I essentially copied his riff on O'Neill's comparable players from Baseball Reference. This was entirely unintentional--I read the Posnanski piece when it came out weeks ago and perhaps these ideas stuck in my subconscious. Sorry, Joe, I'm trying to give credit where it's due. At the end of the day, Paul O'Neill is still a first-rate douche, and on that we are all in agreeance.
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Friday, May 2, 2008

My Sports Life is a Rock Song: "Don't Do Me Like That"

We're back and whiter than ever, as this feature carries into its fifth installment, and the only person of color that's been featured was James Brown. Jesus, we are white. So what do we do about it? Ding-ding. Feature somebody very, very white. Here's the thing about this week's feature: I love, like any good cracka', me some Tom Petty. Always have. He does, however, have a tendency, now and again, to write a song that, well, makes me feel like I'd rather listen to Meatloaf. Or the B-52s. Or Bon Jovi. And believe me, I will take splintered shards of golf tees through the testicles before volunteering to listen to either of those "artists." This evening's selection is one of those, but it does, nevertheless, serve a purpose. More on that in a jif.

In a few moments, young Luke Hochevar and the Royals will take the mound at Jacobs Field. The boys in blue, having fallen to last in the Central for the second time in eight days, face C.C. Sabathia tonight, who started out his post-Cy Young, 2008 campaign hurling piles of shit toward home plate. Which ballpark did he pick to break out of his slump? Yup. Kauffman Stadium. That game (featuring Royals' big-money man Gil Meche) had an awesome result.

So there it is. I'm not going to break down guitar riffs, or try to make some connection between game details and lyrics. I'm just gonna say, "Don't Do Me Like That, C.C." Not tonight. Actually, not ever. But let's start with tonight. The Royals have put some runs on the board this week. Well, yesterday's 2-1 loss to the Rangers was, as our staff slogan machine put it, an "unpossible pitcher's duel between Sir Sidney Ponson and Brian Bannister," but they produced some runs for a stretch there, suprisingly probably even themselves. My bolder-than-ever prediction for the evening's contest: The Indians don't cross the plate 15 teams; the Royals score more often than once. Second thought, scratch that last part, and play ball, Blue. You're muh boys!

(Update: Due to "inclement weather," the game has been postponed for a TBA double-header date later this summer. Know what this means? Sabathia was set to light it up, but someone else had other plans for the home team.)
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Friday, April 25, 2008

My Sports Life is a Rock Song: "Into the Wild"

This week's feature strays a bit from the title; a more pertinent name for the installment would be "My Sports Life is a Motion-Picture Soundtrack." But it works. And I'll explain how. As a refresher, however, the purpose of this feature is to in fact blend a selection of music with the author's current stance on the wide world of sports as he (or she -- in case we ever have a lady on the staff) knows it. In case this piece of information has slipped by anyone, the NFL draft kicks off tomorrow morning, and it promises to be as entertaining as always. It has, via our extended library of reader commentary, come to my attention that certain parties were disappointed over the lack of House of Georges coverage regarding the recent trade of Kansas City Chiefs defensive end Jared Allen to the Minnesota Vikings. It should go without mentioning that this exchange did not slip by HoG headquarters unnoticed. It was in fact discussed at great length, here, in last week's installment of this very feature. Thus, it's time to analyze just what the Chiefs will do with their compensation for Allen, their time on the clock already super-sufficent prior to the transaction. Jump ahead to figure out just what the hell I'm talking about.

I've said it before, but here it is again: Herman Edwards is a smart man, and a good football coach, but not a smart football coach. Carl Peterson, though his head is wanted by many a die-hard Chiefs fan, is not a bad character in my book. I'm not interested in debating this; it's long since grown tiresome. Suffice it to say that for my money, he's done a pretty darn good job running this franchise. Did I say great job? I did not. Great job=championship(s). That hasn't happened, and therefore he tops out at the grade of "pretty darn good job."

Anyway, for much of this weekend's selection extravaganza, the Chiefs will be on the clock. For those that are not familiar with the motion picture "Into the Wild," based on Jon Krakauer's novel of the same name, go see it. I'd offer the always-obnoxious -- though I too have been guilty of it -- "the book was way better" tag line, but I've read roughly .6 books/year over the last decade and this one wasn't one of them. It, the movie, of course, also has a bad-ass soundtrack, all courtesy of Eddie Vedder. Here's how I've morphed the two into this week's selection: The title and score of each track on the album suggest, and, no, I'm not using that word loosely, a personality trait about where the Chiefs have been, where they are, or where they will soon be. Have a look.

Track One: "Setting Forth"

Anyone even remotely familiar with Kansas City Chiefs football knows that Herman Edwards, with Peterson rubbing his back, is committed to building this team through the draft. I, though subject to some controversy, have felt the last two years have been a bit of a success draft-wise (Editor's Note: Mention the words "Justin" or "Medlock" and I sick Humberto on you. For reals.). My offering is this: This is year three of the project that will likely go down as "The Utterly Embarrassing Herman Edwards Experiment." Get. It. Done. Make this the third and final year of building through the draft, and go win some goddamned football games. And by "some," I mean a lot more than four, dicky.

Track Two: "No Ceiling"

This track is a short one, so I'll keep this brief. You have 13 picks, dudes. That is, one more than 12, one less than 14. Find some fucking talent, pick them, sign them, and then play them to sometimes win the game.

Track Three: "Far Behind"

Far behind is exactly where the Chiefs are in the great-and-storied AFC West. This just in: The Raiders don't count. If translation is necessary, that means last fucking place, Mr. "The Key to the Playoffs is By Winning the Division." You've done bragged about how much picking you'll be doing this weekend while the rest of the division will be watching. Don't screw this up.

Track Four: "Rise"

Go back. Re-read the notes under "Track Three" and make the inference, Chiefs Nation. It's time to rise from the ranks of humiliation and defeat, and claim our spot among the elite. Is that wishful thinking? May be. Wanna fight about it?

Track Five: "Long Nights"

Long, oh so freaking long, have the nights been since we were on the doorstep of the AFC Championship? Math was never my strong subject, so I won't tally how many actual nights it's been. That would only be one more statistic with which I might cry myself to sleep each long and painful night that the championship eludes us. Make like daylight savings time, Herm and Carl. Make the nights shorter.

Track Six: "Tuolumne"

I had no idea what this meant, so I looked it up. Turns out, it's "a river, about 249 km (155 mi) long, of central California flowing generally westward to the San Joaquin River." If it hadn't been listed, I was going to offer that it's a beautiful one-minute instrumental piece, which means I must relay the message in terms of majestic glamour.



But if words are the desire, than make the journey toward a Super Bowl victory one that flows westward to the San Joaquin. I don't care either way.

Track Seven: "Hard Sun"

Carl Peterson's contract is up (again) at the conclusion of this season. If things aren't looking up, hopefully Clark Hunt makes the right move. I won't say that the right move is firing Peterson, but if that happens, the final image of dusk from King Carl's Plaza condominium will be one hard sun at which to gaze.

Track Eight: "Society"

This track is best defined by its token line: "I hope you won't be lonely without me, society." I don't mean to prognosticate, but if that's Carl speaking, then, uh, no. We won't. I don't think.

Track Nine: "The Wolf"

This is a brief-but-powerful instrumental that incorporates some chanting into it. Very nice. I'd like a reason to chant, a reason to high-five KC Wolf. And soon.

Track Ten: "End of the Road"

Oh, the euphemisms this ditty could stand for are simply endless. For Carl? For Herm? For Tony Gonzalez? For the sellout crowd streak? For the almost-gone-already Arrowhead mystique? It could be all of the above if this draft, and ensuing season are unsuccessful. I don't count developing our younger players as successful either, Herm.

Track Eleven: "Guaranteed"

This song is a wonderful way to close things out. For the movie, the story within it, the album, and for the expectations that lie on the Chiefs organization as well. If a Super Bowl berth can't be spoken in in terms of guaranteed, it had better be spoken of in a damn convincing fashion. None of this five-year plan shit. Don't get me flustrated, now.

And there it is. Pick the album up. It's worth it. And pick the right friggin' players this weekend, Chiefs front office. We're counting on it.
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Friday, April 18, 2008

My Sports Life is a Rock Song: "Same Old Song and Dance"

I'll admit: I've been a huge Aerosmith fan for most of my life. Call me whatever, but they're one of the first bands I really started rocking out to back in the day. I haven't actually made an attempt to listen to them for many years, until just now. And, just as I remembered, "Same Old Song and Dance," though it comes from Get Your Wings -- one of the best albums they ever put out -- is a terribly awful, monotonous and uninventive song. Today, however, it serves a purpose. It is not a purpose full of stone cold rhymin', but it is one that must be addressed. Often times, my colleague -- the one that writes here from time to time -- frustrates the living hell out of me, so much that I want to board the nearest jet, fly to his home town, and work his noggin like a speed bag. The majority of said times, my irritation is likely to have stemmed from him being accurate in some obnoxious fashion or other. Not following? I'll clarify. Right after the jump.

As I was saying, Old No. 7, in his infinite wisdom, offered this tidbit earlier in the week:

Every time I get a little bummed about the current state of my favorite football team, I simply glance toward our divisional rivals in KC and suddenly I’m walkin’ on sunshine.


Believe me when I say it burned every fiber in my soul to honor him with a block quote in one of my posts. The sad truth in doing so, though (sigh), is that he's right. If you haven't noticed (see Arrowhead Addict or Arrowhead Pride for extensive coverage), the Chiefs, in all likelihood are going to trade Jared Allen. What will probably happen after such a trade, is that the Chiefs will continue hoarding draft picks -- they already have 10 slated for this month's selection process -- and continue "building" Herm's dream team. Notice the lack of capitals, there; those words are utterly undeserving. Yes. The Chiefs will construct this club through the draft and enter still another season with six (Editor's Note: That number was selected at random.) of a 500-piece puzzle, and, in all likelihood, have another 4-12ish type of campaign. Good. Times. The times are so good, in fact, that I have three issues to address here.

One

Believe me when I say that I'm stoked about this



being the result of this



Trouble is, I was around, and very much a fan for this



Similarly, I'm stoked about these guys



but I experienced this



The point, though, is that the Chiefs, at least in my lifetime, simply haven't pulled it off. In fact, they've only really come close once. And I'm sick of it. I want this



I want it now. No more excuses. No more waiting. No more stupid-ass moves, like trading Jared Allen.

Two

There. Now that that tantrum is out of my system, I'll say this: I'm not going to put Carl Peterson in the hot seat for this. That's every other member of Chiefs Nation's job. I've said it before; I'll say it again: the guy puts together a competitive squad every year. It's on the coaches to coach the players, and the players to win the games. Now, hiring Herman to coach the players is a different morsel to chew on, one I won't unwrap today. In fact, I probably won't ever. Seven does a pretty decent semi-periodic job of it. I do have this to say about Peterson's reign: It's the same old story, same old song and dance. Pulling out stops, turning tricks, plugging holes, and finding any other sub-excellent theory on how to bring home the trophy. It hasn't worked, and it won't work. Not in this lifetime.

Three

After reading a number of articles and comments, I'm left with this one (and it burns):

“It’s a situation that works out best for both sides,” Allen told FOXSports.com. “I can go to a team that is competing for a championship right now. The Chiefs can get valuable draft picks to rebuild with.”

(quote courtesy of the Addict)

My take on Allen's perspective looks something like this:

Dear Jared Allen:

Fuck off. And die. Championship right now? You've been in the league for four years? Try waiting 28. Please help yourself to the biggest bowl of taint sweat you can get your jackass hands on. That is all.

Sincerely,

bankmeister

What will follow? The inevitable, "Hey man, if you had a chance, you'd take it, blah, blah, blow me. The bottom line is that I'm not interested in waiting around to see if a John Buck, Mark Wood, and Mark Teahen are out there to be obtained in exchange for Allen's services. With the Royals, being patient was easy. They won a title. They fell into the murky depths of baseball, and appear to be finally climbing their way out. It doesn't take that long -- see things like salary cap, even playing fields, and equal chances to compete for clarification -- to get it turned around in football, and if Herm's way is going to work, Allen is a huge part of the complete package. Allen feels betrayed because he wasn't given a fat contract? There's no 'i' in team, bud. You're making, even with the franchise tag, ridiculous money. Ever heard of a guy named Tony Gonzalez? He handled these situations -- note use of plural -- with patience, class, and understanding. So, please, feel free to cram a handful of rusty razors in your bottle of O'Doul's, and fucking choke. Unless the deal works out and you stay and play at a high level. Then we're cool. Until then, may you never even sniff the Grey Cup, ass face, let alone my Lombardi.

If it all shakes down the way it appears it will, Allen will be gone, and I'll be watching my children waiting for a Super Bowl. Fucking. Awesome. I guess this is where I try to remain thankful for the good tracks -- "Lord of the Thighs" and "Train Kept A Rollin'" on Get Your Wings, certain that the operations at One Arrowhead Drive will always be the same.
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