Bye-Week Rant II: Talking Chiefs, Broncos, Baseball, and Media with Old No. 7

Technically, we're past the bye week, but regardless of how your favorite NFL team is playing, I imagine most pro-football fans would agree that the bye week is the toughest stretch of the gridiron season. To help kill these 14 days, Old No. 7 and I sat down to talk, among other things, AFC West. And if this chatter interests you, check out our conversation from two years ago, or my Chiefs free-agent post.

bankmeister: This past spring you said you were certain the NFL would miss some games thanks to the lockout. Share with me what your thought process was regarding such conviction. What was your foundation for it beyond the dolla’-dolla’ bill?

Old No. 7: At that time, it seemed to me that the owners were steadfast in their resolve to break the union. To be more precise, there was a faction of hard-line asshole owners who appeared ready to sacrifice the season in order to absolutely crush the players with the new collective-bargaining agreement. They wanted to radically alter the previous arrangement and swing hundreds of millions of dollars their way. The union, to their credit, was unwilling to agree to such a horrendously shitty deal. Thus, I thought we’d miss games.

Fortunately for people who like watching football, those hard-line owners were overruled by more reasonable dudes. Make no mistake: the owners still “won” this negotiation. They got shithauls of concessions, and all they had to give up was some mandatory practice time. Owners don’t care about practice time, and coaches weren’t represented at the bargaining table. It was a moderately bad deal for the players, but they’re still rich, and so are the owners, and we got a season. Hoo-ray.

bankmeister: If you feel that the work stoppage hurt teams, how do you quantify it? It seems that this year has seen all-time highs in terms of season-ending injuries, specifically with ACL and Achilles’ heel blowouts. Explore the theory that a lot of these guys simply can’t be trusted to keep in top shape on their own during the off-season.

Old No. 7: The lockout hurt everyone the same, from the standpoint that no one could work out or sign players while it was going on. Sure, this affected some teams more than others. Veteran teams that brought most everyone back were most likely affected the least due to their continuity, whereas younger teams/players and clubs that fundamentally altered their foundations might have seen more disruption. But what’s done is done, and that’s the cost of doing business in the NFL. They needed a new CBA, it’s clear that both sides needed a doomsday deadline to take negotiations seriously, and we got a deal. Do you feel that the lockout’s impact was not distributed evenly among all 32 teams?

bankmeister: No. I think it seems pretty clear that everyone was hurt on an equal level.

Old No. 7: Right. I would absolutely dispute that we’ve seen more injuries than normal this year, specifically more ACLs or Achilles’es. I recall speculation from almost every season in recent memory about this phenomenon, yet when someone actually digs through the data we find out that it’s not true. It’s football, and guys get hurt. Plus, what little I know about physiology tells me that what’s at risk if players are not in top condition are muscle and tendon (like hamstring) pulls, not ligament tears. ACLs are neither in shape nor not in shape; they just are. They get torn from violent, unnatural movements, not a lack of conditioning. My observation is that the vast majority of NFL players keep themselves in premium condition year round, lockout or no, and I haven’t seen any evidence to the contrary that’s anything more than anecdotal.

bankmeister: Interesting. Obviously, it’s too new still, but tell me about your initial thoughts on being a Denver Broncos season-ticket holder.

Old No. 7: Other than the fact that it sucked up a buttload of money I didn’t have, I love it. I’ve attended one game, which was happily the only game Denver won this year. The weather was beautiful, my kids were well-behaved, and going to a game live is nearly always a blast.

And luckily, I was able to recoup most of my costs for the season package. Friends and family purchased some games, and I sold the rest online. In fact, I parted ways with my final tickets just last week. For this I must thank Our Lord and Savior Tim Tebow. His legions of slack-jawed, inbred disciples have created far more demand for Bronco seats.

bankmeister: Slack-jawed and inbred? You have Chiefs fans in the Tebow fan club?

Old No. 7: Zing! I look at these tickets as an investment for my family. Going to a few games a year will become our traditional ritual, and when my kids are spoiled teenagers this will be one more tedious, embarrassing exercise to be tolerated with their loser dad. I can’t wait! Also, it’s possible that in 15 years the Broncos won’t be terrible.

bankmeister: Speaking of losers, when Josh McDaniels was handed a pink slip, you talked about the lack of importance in finding “the right guy” to replace him, that the team’s problems were huge in terms of personnel, that it was more important to get some quality talent in the building, develop the roster, and reassess the coaching situation after a few seasons. Has that philosophy changed at all or remained the same? How?

Old No. 7: I feel exactly the same.

bankmeister: Tell me about John Fox five weeks in, and what’s the deal with Knowshon Moreno? Is he struggling to stay healthy? Does he really only have 10 carries on the season? What’s your confidence level that he’ll bounce back and be a contributor?

Old No. 7: Fox first: He’s coached five games, and the talent level on his team is atrocious. I’m trying to be patient before passing judgment. Allow me to reveal at this time that right now I’m following the Denver Broncos in a much different way than I ever have. I watch the games, and I consume national football media like Pro Football Talk and ESPN, and I text Cecil and a few other friends, and that’s it. I don’t catch any local Denver media outside an occasional random bit on the evening news. I quit reading Bronco blogs. When it became clear that the only theme anyone covering the Broncos this year wanted to pursue was Tim Tebow, I checked out.

So I have a very limited frame of reference when it comes to assessing Fox and this team other than the results. And I have to tell you, it’s pretty nice. You know me, I normally love all the chatter and speculation and talk-radio soap opera, but I simply can’t do the Tebow thing. It’s an affront to logic. I will say that Fox seems competent, and I’m willing to buy into his commitment to rebuild the team via defense and the running game. The roster does not allow this yet, but I’ll give it some time. I’ve heard sporadic complaints about his conservative play-calling, and I’ve heard yahoos call for his job. But I prefer to ignore the ignorant mob.

As for Knowshon, he’s been hurt a lot. He doesn’t get massive, catastrophic injuries, but he’s suffered an endless string of nagging little boo-boos that cause him to miss parts of games and a couple weeks here and there. This makes it impossible to say with any certainty whether he’s good or not, but I’m just going to speculate that he’s fucking terrible. I think he’s a miserable bitch, a horrible football player, and a bad person.

Look, running backs are the most disposable, replaceable commodity in professional football. There are a few that are special, and everyone else is reliant on scheme, health and luck. Knowshon is not special. He’s fast and athletic, and if he found himself in the right situation someday he might be able to put up some fine numbers. But there is absolutely nothing separating him from about a hundred backup RBs in the NFL right now. I mean, he’s been benched in favor of Willis McGahee, who I’m pretty sure played high school football with Bill Cosby.

bankmeister: Wait. What? Miserable bitch? Horrible football player? Bad person? I thought he was (initially) regarded as one of the best selections y’all’ve made in the last six or seven years.

I’m no draftnik (at least not on the level of Cecil), so I have no idea what the conventional wisdom is or was on Knowshon’s pick. I loved his skills, and when he was drafted I loved the idea of what he might do for the Broncos. I do remember McDaniels justifying the selection by talking about how polished of a receiver Knowshon was for a college RB, but McDaniels’ offense rarely throws the ball to running backs. And again, he can’t stay healthy.

Adrian Peterson was a top-10 pick who was worth it. Darren McFadden overcame injuries to get to that point as well. But by and large, NFL teams have abandoned the idea of burning high picks on RBs. They’re also starting to sour on giving elite RBs big extensions. Given the volatility at the position, I think I’m on board with both trends. Knowshon has not been worth the resources spent to acquire him, although I don’t actually think he’s a bad person. He might truly be a swell dude.

Last year, you said something to the effect of, “Kyle Orton is a beacon of light in a steaming cesspool of suck.” We revisited that topic not long ago, and you seemed to still support the notion. In my estimation, his play seemed solid enough through two, maybe two and-a-half weeks. Did his performance fall off enough to warrant the benching, or is it the ol’ gotta-see-what-the-young-kid’s-got kind of thing?

Old No. 7: Because of my rabid distaste for Tebow, I’ve been accused of being an Orton apologist or even a full-fledged Orton fan. I’m neither. I think he got a raw deal from the fans and the media, but he absolutely played himself out of his job. Orton quarterbacked the Broncos at a reasonably high level for two and a half months last year before sucking and giving way to Tebow. This year, he’s been insanely bad. I still think he could help some team out there in a situation where he is not mercilessly booed by his home fans after every incompletion.

bankmeister: Switching gears, you and I seem to have gone in opposite-baseball directions in the past 18 months. I know you’ve always been a superfan, but you seem to have gone to even another level. Is this accurate, or am I misreading?

Old No. 7: I don’t think the intensity of my baseball fandom has increased at all. If anything, the time demands of my rapidly multiplying offspring have made me follow baseball a lot less. What I’ve done is transformed myself into a much more efficient baseball fan through technology and acquired knowledge.

Sabermetrics is part of this because it allows me to cut through 90 per cent of the romanticized garbage in which traditional baseball coverage traffics. Either this team/player/manager/strategic decision works, or he/it doesn’t. And if he/it works, then the data will prove it. This saves time and eliminates a lot of BS.
I’ve also selected a small group of incredibly talented baseball writers to read and follow on Twitter. And thus I can stay on top of the game, even if I don’t have time to watch a ton of actual games. I’d imagine that this is the same approach you apply to your beloved hockey, no?

bankmeister: Yes and no. I mean, the television is almost never on in our house anymore. Our evenings –- thanks, as you mentioned, to the offspring -– are absolutely slammed, and by the time the dishes are done, it’s pillow-thirty. I do follow the NHL’s feed, a few Blues handles, and good old Buccigross, but Blues games haven’t been televised by my cable provider for a couple of seasons now, so I’m pretty much out of the loop, save the occasional rarity.

What did you make of the Boston Globe article regarding your Red Sox?

Old No. 7: The particular article you reference was horrible. It encapsulates everything I dislike about being a Red Sox fan, namely other Red Sox fans, the Boston media, and the suffocating narcissism of the entire enterprise.
The 2011 Red Sox choked, pure and simple. They choked as a team, and every single element of the team contributed to their demise. Every player, every manager and coach, every member of the front office. I get that when things go this wrong after expectations have been raised so high, heads roll. Terry Francona and Theo Epstein are gone, which is insane to me. You know how I feel about managers and how their impact is completely overvalued. That being said, making Francona the scapegoat for this mess is beyond stupid. He’s eminently competent in that position, as is Theo in his. I don’t know how much of their departures were quitting, or getting fired, but it doesn’t matter. They’re scapegoats for the failures of others.

This is why that Globe article was such an abortion of the dying art of journalism. It threw every tired, disproved stereotype of a losing team into a giant shitpile with no attempt to perform a rational autopsy of the season. It was pure gossip and spite, which is fine from the standpoint that millions of people take the Red Sox way too seriously and they’re angry. But to stick that load of crap under the banner of a reputable American publication was embarrassing. Call me a naïve sap, but I still believe a little bit in the integrity of certain media entities. I know you do, too. I hope you would hold your hometown Star to a higher standard than what appears in that story.

Now, I have one burning question for you, and it’s this:

The way you follow the Chiefs is much, much different from how I follow the Broncos. You live in Kansas City, whereas I no longer live in Denver. You’re immersed in discussion of your team, which of course has its benefits and drawbacks. Prior to Tebow’s arrival in Denver, I loved the constant hubbub of Bronco Nation. I love the year-round speculation about the roster, management, the blind homerism, the definitive ignorance of all of us fools. Because we were all in it together.

As I said, I’ve checked out for a while. I think I’ll be back, but I kind of like stepping away from the nutbag echo chamber that is obsessively following my team 24/7/365. I may consider staying.

How much enjoyment do you derive from following the Chiefs? I’m not talking about enjoying the wins or hating the losses, I’m talking about The Process. What you read in the Star, what you listen to on the radio, what you inhale on the blogs, what you ingest from the dude at the grocery store or the bar. Does all of this make your Chief fandom more or less pleasant?

bankmeister: Bear with me while I draw a long, non-parallel answer up for you: I’m always behind the times. When the world went CD and DVD, I clutched my cassette and VHS tapes as if they were my last possession. I still own zero high-definition televisions, I don’t D.V. the Rs, and my phone, while perfectly functional, is not of the smart variety. There are always setbacks –- some more significant than others –- that go with this stubbornness, but I always seem to hold out for some reason. I tell you that to tell you this: Tweets come to my phone in SMS form when I select this option from particular followers.

By and large, this methodology might be the biggest love/hate relationship I’ve ever experienced. It’s a constant juggle to unselect the phone option on followers that tweet a lot, but not a lot of their tweets are of significant, immediate interest. My latest example would be the almighty Joe Posnanski. Since he moved, he’s no longer talking Royals or Chiefs, or anything of real interest to me. In short, he’s tweeting MLB playoffs, Penn State football, Apple products, and commercials, and it’s driving me insane. In fact, I may, once we wrap this up, unclick that icon on his page.

As I’m sure yours does, too, my phone buzzes a lot. I get texts from friends and family, radio stations, and the SMS tweets. Therefore, many many times since joining Twitter, I’ve wanted to smash the thing on the ground. For example, at that Broncos @ Chiefs game a couple years ago where Denver scored like 17 touchdowns to our two field goals and our wives drank eight liters of Schnapps, I was following your boy Whitlock at the time, and I think he tweeted 20-plus times during that contest.

The point is that I love Twitter, but I have purposely refrained from purchasing a smart phone because I make unhealthy commitments to things that jazz me up, i.e. this blog when we started it, Sports-Talk Radio, Twitter, etc., and then I struggle to adjust. Right now, I don’t really read the Chiefs blogs anymore, but I’ll follow a link if it sounds appealing on Twitter, and I definitely take in every word from the guys at the Star. Also, the Sports Talk stuff has sort of spun out of control for me. These days they announce what times they’ll be doing certain segments and I make significant commitments to try and catch them.

The worst part is that they usually drive me bananas. Translation: I almost always disagree and find myself needing to drive to the nearest playground so’s I can punch a few kids in the neck. The Sports-Talk relationship is just like the Twitter-SMS thing: I might like it a little better if I could find the right balance.

To finally get to an answer, I freaking hate it. Everyone’s an expert. Everyone’s “leaking” stuff. Everyone knows that if the Chiefs would only do things their way, they’d already have a Lombardi being wheeled out to them on a pedestal. It’s absurd, and frankly, nothing sounds better than what you’ve described as your current regimen for Bronco consumption.

Old No. 7: And what is your current take on Todd Haley and Scott Pioli? I’m not asking what the consensus in KC is and how you agree or disagree with that consensus. I’m asking if you think these guys are the right guys for the job and if you think they’ll stick long-term.

bankmeister: It’s really hard to parse through that thought process while avoiding the consensus, but here goes: I like Scott Pioli’s approach, and more importantly, I really liked it when he got here. Right now it’s tough because a lot of his draft picks haven’t panned out, and as I let that thought out, I wonder whether or not that’s simply the case with front offices across the league. I mean, I guess it’d be cool if you had a formula like quarterback rating or one of your sabermetric deal-y-bobs that could translate successful-pick ratios into quantitative form. In the end, much more time is needed. I really can’t see Clark Hunt firing Pioli anytime soon unless things get wicked ugly. And more importantly in my book, I don’t think Pioli should fire Haley anytime soon.

I’ve really come to appreciate his style of coaching. The number of key players that have really thrived under him in two seasons and change is admirable, and he’s got a great sense of humor, too. Also, I can relate to a guy who fails triumphantly to keep his emotions in check. Lord knows I’ve done that a few hundred times only to recognize later how stupid I looked.

Back to you for the wrap: Everyone’s hoping that they’ll win “The Price is Right” showcase that comes with Andrew Luck. Is it too early for you to be thinking 2012? Do you want your team to nab this kid? The good old Stanford Redux? Or are there other guys in the NCAA that would equally suit you? Do you have faith in Fox, etc. to have a solid draft in April?

Old No. 7: Yes, I want Luck. I have very little doubt that he’ll be at least a high-quality NFL QB, and there’s a strong chance he’ll be a franchise player.
There are simply too many moving parts, however, to actually plan or wish for that to become reality. The Broncos would need to lose an awful lot of football games, which, of course, they’re doing anyway. Other teams would have to lose even more. Luck could get hurt. A meteor could strike the earth’s surface. There’s a lot that can happen between now and April. But assuming the current status quo stays in place, yeah, I’m all like Suck For Luck.
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Friday Formations: The Tradition, 2010. This Time, It's Durango

Okay, so it's not really snowing like that, but it's chilly, and it did snow on us coming over Wolf Creek Pass. And though we have already logged our token time trolling up and down Main Street, spending money we don't have, we're not here for the merch', we're not here for the weather, and we sure as hell didn't drive for two days for the company.

No, folks. Believe it or not, we're currently staying 15 hours from Kansas City, where there's no NFL game this week, and six hours from Denver, where there is. That's right, it's Chiefs-Broncos Week I of the 2010 football season, and it's the 10-year anniversary of what we've come to know as The Tradition, here on the House of Georges.

If you're unfamiliar with this globally popular notion, it's a pair of annual pilgrimages in which Old No. 7 and Cecil load up the BroncoWagon and truck out to Arrowhead, and I load up the grocery getter for a haul out to InVesCo. We drink, we smoke meat, drink some more, and then we tailgate. And then we rep our road teams in the unfriendly confines of opposing home venues. Over the course of the past 10 years, we've managed to adapt life's curve balls. Wives came into the mix, we created the boys' game/wives' game annual rotation. Other travels plans arise, we flip one year's travel plans for a flop the following season.

It would seem, however, that the one thing that will trump Tradition, is offspring. Last spring, Old No. 7 and his lovely wife gave birth to their first. It was a fantastic experience for the parents, and a timely event that afforded them the flexibility of leaving the newborn with his grandparents when the Broncos traveled to Kansas City that December, and Old No. 7 was available to shake away for the game in Denver as well.

This year, however, things are different. Swiss Family Cecil has extensive travel plans on the horizon, the Sevens are expecting their second/dealing with new work-force details, and we our expecting our first as well. What does it all mean?

Well, it means that, with a mid-November game, followed by an early-December contest, that toddlers and expecting wives can't, and shouldn't, hit the confines of any professional football stadium. So, the short and the sweet of it all is that we're watching the game on television, in Durango, as a happy little HoG unit.

It's good times, and, for the first time since the inception of this blog, the Kansas City Chiefs appear to be a team on the rise, and the Denver Broncos are, well, not. So, anyway, that was easily the most pointless since, well, the last post published in here, but it had to be done. It would've been very unHoG of us to let a Tradition come and go, and not have anything to say about it.

Last I heard, Kansas City was favored by two and-a-half, and the Broncos had zero going for them in terms of running the football, or preventing other teams from doing so. As an added bonus, the Chiefs have the best running attack in the pros, so I and the wife are looking forward to a fantastic afternoon of football.

Chiefs!
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Monday Morning: Though Sad to Say, It Is In Fact, a Beautiful Day

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: I'm no NFL Draft whiz; I don't know my college players all that well. I do recognize, however, the difference between taking a kicker in the fifth round, (especially when there's a better one already on the roster, and a better one still on the board) and taking one with the very last pick in the entire draft. And that's just one reason why there might be some promise that the Scott Pioli/Todd Haley regime could be doing things the right way. But this isn't about place kickers. Granted, I'm glad to have a decent one on the roster, but more important: It's about victory.

Yesterday's 14-6 win over the offensively inept Washington Redskins wasn't an entirely lousy football game, but it was pretty close. And you know what? I'm just fine with that. Naturally, I don't want games like that every week. I'll take them over losses, but I like touchdowns. I like blowouts. I'd like for my running back to go off. But more than anything, I like winning.

In the grand scheme, this is a pretty cockamamie football week. It's one of those weeks where I need miracles in one fantasy league, but not immense miracles, because that would screw up my other league. In my suicide pick, I went with Jacksonville, and I literally waited until 25 minutes to kickoff to make a decision because I kept mulling over a few other options. Los Del Rio made me sweat the deal out, but they won. And of course, I have to put on my stupid Philip Rivers hat today, and hope that they can stop the obnoxious box of glee that is the Josh McBroncoBus. But more than anything, I like for my football team to win.

And let me tell you something: Two and 14 fucks with your head. Big time. I mean, it really, really messes you up. I've got to emphasize this because I doubt there are many Lions fans or old-school Tampa Bay die hards rollin' through the House on a regular basis. When that poisonous hurricane of the 2008 Kansas City Chiefs football season was over, I was really confused. I didn't know what I was feeling. I didn't know how to prioritize who I should be mad at most or least. I was positive that it should hurt more, and I was embarrassed that I almost found the thing a touch humorous.

And that wasn't all. Carl Peterson's resignation numbed some of the pain. The hiring of Scott Pioli seemed to knock a bit of the gravel out of my road rash. And the firing of Herm Edwards was...well, I'm not gonna sugar-coat that one: Had Edwards not been relieved of his duties, you would not be reading these words right now, because I'm pretty sure they wouldn't be letting me blog from prison. I might've killed a body. I didn't know what to feel about the Todd Haley hiring. I'm a bit more sold on him and his philosophy than I was in the pre-season, but the road to greatness is still gravel.

But I still didn't know what to feel. I saw a new regime installed across the Truman-Sports-Complex parking lot, and I heaped my hope onto that. Granted, probably a bit too much for one season, but I was dishing out the good vibes like a Baskin-Robbins employee doles the pink sample spoons. I'm still hopeful, even if foolishly, for the 2010 Royals. Understand that. But things got real good and mucked up in my brain about the Chiefs last year.

I didn't know what to do. It was like the whole world gets around on a bicycle, and someone came over to my house just to break my legs. Broke 'em good, too. And Chiefs fans turned into that thing that people had to deal with, that dude that's everybody's best friend, but everybody done fucked his sister at least once. That neighbor that be knockin' on your door every other day to borrow somethin', or ask with some help on some project or task. That dude that, even though he's got a car and a license, never, ever drives when y'all go out for myriad reasons. The Chiefs turned into a doormat, an annoying existence if say you're a Denver fan and you watch the Chiefs haphazardly hand San Diego two wins, that shit you been puttin' off and puttin' off and all of a sudden it bites you in the ass 'cause you -- Denver in KC and Oakland at home -- didn't take care of it sooner.

I don't know if you look back on time in weeks, months, or years, but no matter which it is, it doesn't change results, and results in the form of 31 losses in 37 tries are not good. Say this out loud now: Out of 37 attempts to win a football game, my team lost 31 times.

It's unreal. It's inconceivable. It should be unpossible.

Now, yesterday's win hasn't cured me of much. It's messed up that, given the off-seasons that Kansas City and Denver had, one would think that the 5-0 club and the 0-5 club got mixed up and shipped to the wrong addresses. It's messed up it took six tries for Todd Haley's Chiefs to get a win. It's messed up that that win came in the form of four field goals and a safety. It's messed up that, Tradition-ally Speaking, the Chiefs will have closed out with the rest of the division before they take the first of two victories against the Broncos. And mostly, it's messed up that a bad football team can kinda give a guy a mini mid-life crisis, but that's just what the last two years did to me, and probably many others.

Yesterday's win were some apples. They weren't Golden Delcious. they weren't some shiny Jonathan Apples. And they certainly weren't worthy of being called "them apples." They were just some friggin' apples.

But you know what else? They weren't poisoned apples. And for that, I can be happy on a Monday, look forward to a Sunday, and write something (sort of) positive for a change. Now get out there and win, you dumb fucker, 'cause next week will be another step in the direction of the most amazing 11-5 run at a championship season football has ever seen.

Okay, okay. I'll stop now. Feel free to leave your if-life-gives-you-apples and your don't-let-your-meat-loaf jokes in the comments.
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Sleeping with the Enemy: Week Five, Cowboys @ Chiefs

Just like the string of winless Chief games, "Sleeping with the Enemy" keeps pluggin' along, and I for one, am not gonna lie: I'm happy to be through with what some might call the tough half of the NFC East stretch. Don't get me wrong: Kansas City could easily drop both this Sunday's game against Dallas, and next week's game against the not-very-good-seeming Washington Redskins. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. If you're new to this feature, we sit down right quick and chat with a fan of the opposing team each week, and as you might've guessed by the pictured "enemy" I've most definitely slept with, the Chiefs are hosting Dallas this Sunday.

Normally, I nab an old buddy, or a homeless guy in Westport to pose as the fan of the bad guys, but this week, I was lucky enough to reel in someone of a slightly higher-than-homeless status: Cory "Cowboy" Anderson from KCSP 610 AM here in Kansas City. He's the host/co-host of 610's show "Chris and Cowboy" which airs Monday through Friday from two to six in the afternoon, and unfortunately, he's a Dallas fan. Our pigskin chat, post-leap.

Bankmeister: Begin, if you would, by giving us a bit of background on yourself. You're a fan of both the Oklahoma State and the Dallas Cowboys, correct? Did you grow up in the south? What're your fondest childhood memories of America's team? How long have you been in Kansas City? To what extent are you an actual fan of the Chiefs? You cover them extensively on the air, and based on your criticisms (positive and negative) it would appear that you root for them to at least not suck. Can you give us an analogy, or just a general comparison of your feelings for the Cowboys versus those that you have for the Chiefs?

Cowboy: I was born and raised in Oklahoma City, so without a team of our own, OKC is basically a Cowboys town. There are some that jump on various bandwagons and don't have one team, but the majority of OKC roots for the Cowboys. My dad is a huge fan as well, and growing up we rarely missed a Cowboys game on Sunday in front of the TV. It's one of the things that helped us form as close a relationship as we have today, and in fact we still talk on the phone after the Cowboys game every Sunday, usually now to bitch about Romo and how bad he sucks. My best memories are obviously following that great team of the early-to-mid '90s that won three Super Bowls in four seasons. I was 15 years old when they won the first one, so it made football a big part of my life through junior high and high school. I also have some great memories of visiting Texas Stadium back in the good days, including a Thanksgiving Day game against the Packers where Aikman was injured and Jason Garrett led a huge comback in the snow. It was pretty awesome.

As far as the Chiefs, despite what it might sound like at times on the air, I really want them to do well. I've gotten to know several of the players, and hate to see them down every time we're in the locker room. But in relation to the Cowboys, there's no comparison. I am a die-hard Cowboys fan, and I root for the Chiefs (at least every week except this one). I have lived in the KC area for seven years this December. Basically, the Cowboys are Scarlett Johansen to me, and the Chiefs are the hot waitress at the club.



While I'd really like to get with the hot waitress, there's nothing I wouldn't do for Scarlett.

B: I'll offer you a touche on the Scar-Jo. I'm more of a Charlize Theron guy myself,



but that's neither here nor there. Since my colleagues are Denver Bronco fans, and we frequently talk rivalry and hatred, give us a phrase or two for each of the other NFC East teams, something that really sums up your feelings for each squad.

C: As far as the other NFC East teams, the words I would use to describe them would be: Giants -- filthy, scum-of-the-Earth bastards; Eagles -- big-game chokers (but I do respect the way they've sustained that franchise); Redskins -- worthless losers. The Giants are and always will be the team I hate the most.

B: And now, your Cowboys. It seems like Dallas fans are going berserk because this team is 2-2, and, a lot of the blame is falling on Tony Romo. What caliber of signal-caller do you estimate Romo to be at at this point in his career? Top-tier? A notch below? Is it fair that he shoulder the blame for this team not being 4-0? Were you upset with him for trying to throw to Hurd on the final play against the Broncos last week?

C: Tony Romo is nothing but a fantasy QB. He'll put up decent stats, but when it's crunch-time, he's a loser. And I don't mean that as a personal attack, I mean as a guy who will never be a winner. When the games start to matter most, Tony Romo is usually at his worst. I don't think he'll ever be a big-time QB, and to be honest, I've never seen someone basically be labeled a superstar for doing less on the field. He's a product of the Cowboys-hype machine and Jessica Simpson, that's it. And don't even get me started on the back-to-back throws to Hurd in Denver. I don't care if Witten is triple-teamed, he's the best tight end in football right now, you take a shot at him over a scrub being covered by one of the top corners in the league. Freaking moron.

B: Okay. Witten over Gonzalez, eh? He might have better numbers through four weeks in 2009 (Editor's Note: Except not really), but agree to disagree.

What about your head coach? There are a lot of both satirical bloggers and even a few professional reporters that knock the guy pretty heavily. Is ol' Wade a wise and savvy leader for an NFL squad? Do his goofy looks occasionally taint the opinion some might have of him? If the wheels come off, will he last the season? What do you make of the whisperings of Mike Shanahan replacing him next season? Said whisperings, of course, were more abundant in the off-season.

C: Wade Phillips is a clown. Only Jerry Jones would have kept him after the Cowboys' collapse last season, and that's so he can keep pulling the puppet strings on his clueless coach. Worthless. I think when the Cowboys end up 9-7, Phillips will be done and Jones will go hard after Shanahan or Cowher, and he'll get one of them.

B: Speaking of your owner, your colleague Josh Klingler was interviewing a Dallas somebody or other this morning, and the agreed-upon notion was that Jerry Jones is a fantastic owner in many regards, except for the fact that he continues to want to GM this team, to be the main man of all football operations. Is it possible that we have another Al Davis in the making, or is all of that unfounded?

C: I love Jerry Jones...he will do whatever it takes to win. Money is never an issue, and while he makes some mistakes, I'd ratrher have an owner who is willing to take the chances than one like Clark Hunt who operates $30 million below the cap and clearly doesn't look like he's doing everything possible to bring a winner to KC. Jerry will never be an Al Davis. He's grooming his son to take over when he knows it's time, and I don't think he'll hang on and make a mockery of himself.

B: Fair enough. A big issue for this Sunday's game will be injuries. It sounds like Felix Jones is out, and Roy Williams, and Andre Gurode are questionable. Marion Barber seems iffy? This Tashard Choice kid has a bit of flash to him, but enough about Dallas. Given all of the changes that the Kansas City Chiefs have undergone since last December, what would you say is the most positive thing they have going for them right now?

C: The most positive thing the Chiefs have going for them is that Carl is gone. I don't know if that's the best thing to hang your hat on or not, but I can't sit here and say Pioli is a can't-miss, and Haley looks like a clown so far. Albert and Flowers were the two guys I had the highest hopes for this season, and they've both struggled so far.

B: Ouch. Addition by subtraction meets Haley=Phillips. That's brutal. Finally, though, we'll get a look at some throwback-uniform action this weekend. Are you a fan?

C: I love the throwback uniforms. In fact, the ones the Cowboys will wear are my favorite uniforms in the entire league. I wish there would be an entire season where every team wore the throwbacks.

B: And, of course, we'll need a score prediction from you.

C: Final score: Cowboys 27, Chiefs 17

B: Hmmm. Gonna have to say boo on that score, even if it's accurate as all get out. Actually, no. Screw that. I say it's closer: Cowboys 20, Chiefs 16. Either way, many thanks for your time, and keep up the good work on air.



Let's go Texans Chiefs!
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Tradition Tuesday: Twos and Ohs

In a committee meeting to which I was not invited, it was decided that...

...writing about the Denver Broncos Football Club is no longer important. We will therefore adjust the rough focus of this blog to the Brodie Croyle Fan Club/Generally Overplayed Broncos slander.

Through two weeks the Kansas City Chiefs have lost two tough games against one tough opponent. In game one, they were completely dominated statistically, and chalked up a fourth-quarter epic fail, suggesting that the new regime might plan to live up to the misfortunes of most of the previous ones. In game two, they completely dominated statistically, then fell asleep with less than a minute to go, allowing the worst quarterback in professional football to complete the one and only pass he needed to for the afternoon, which set up the game-winning touchdown.

Denver lucked into a last-minute victory over the Bengals in week one, then flanked their Shannon Sharpe halftime weepfest with two halves of defensive domination over the pathetic Cleveland Browns. Though winless, the Chiefs are showing signs of heading down the path to success. Denver has nominated itself to be one of the worst 2-0 clubs in National Football League history.

I imagine neither club will go quietly into that gentle stretch of NFC East football, but I wouldn't be surprised if the Broncos get spanked worse by each club than the Chiefs do. Braggin' rights, count it, jackpot, stuffed-crust-Goatboy pizza, etc.

(image courtesy of Kissing Suzy Kolber by way of Yahoo Sports)
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Monday Mysticism: Should've Banged

I don't usually spend much time perusing comments on other blogs, or hanging around in message-board chat rooms, but I wanted to share what commenter Rin Tin Tin had to say over on Bob Gretz's blog...

"Barry Manilow may have sung about those weekends New England but in here Kaycee it’s 0 for 40 and counting…

Croyle 116.7 QB RATING
ca$$el 66.3 QB RATING

Croyle 2 tds & 0 ints – 24 points ‘on the road’ against perhaps the best defense in the entire NFL.

ca$$el 1 td & 2 ints – 10 points ‘at home’ v one of the worst teams in the entire NFL.

Croyle starts next Sunday in Philly – if the Chiefs want ANY chance of winning…"

My point in yesterday's post was this: Starting the hot hand, as in Croyle, would've given the Chiefs the opportunity to win yesterday, a win that would've meant a ton, as they likely won't be favored to win again in at least two months. That could've possibly given the club a bit of confidence and Cassel's knee one more week to heal. The upside of course is that he got his first game under his belt, and might have more sync, more confidence heading into a tough, tough stretch of games. I do not posit that Brodie is a better quarterback, although one day I might. I also disagree with the notion that he should start in Philly. One week from today, however, I might be saying something else. That is all.
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Sleeping with the Enemy: Week Two, Raiders @ Chiefs

Welcome in, HoGnation to the first in-season football post of 2009. Naturally, this is a shame because I offered no analysis of the Chiefs' pre-season, or a review of week one at Baltimore. That said, these were my thoughts regarding that game: 1) I thought it would be a route so I was pleased when it was not, 2) The defensive/special teams plays that kept KC in the game through most of the fourth quarter were reason to be excited for that game and that game only, 3) I dug Todd Haley's animation on the sideline



as well as 4) Brodie Croyle's performance on the field. It was a loss, but the result, at least, was what I expected. Aside from a pass-happy offense, the Ravens were, a-hem, who I thought they were.

That said, it's time to kick off another season of "Sleeping with the Enemy," where we sit down for a minute with a fan of the week's opponent. Last year, Oakland Raider fan Zeitgeist joined us. He was kind enough to offer us his time again for Sunday's game. My questions, his words, post-jump.

Bankmeister: For starters, how much football did you watch last weekend? Did you see the Chiefs-Ravens game? Denver-Cincy? If so, what were your thoughts on them? Second, I assume you watched Oakland-San Diego Monday night. What did you think of your team's performance?

In my estimation, the Raider defense surprised a lot of folks last year, yet they let the beautifully mulleted Rob Ryan go, and, after one game, it would appear to be even better? There was a lot of front-line domination going on, and even though the Chargers had to piecemeal an offensive line early in the game, it seems as if this unit is for real. Was that game a fluke, or is this Oakland D going to punch a lot of teams in the mouth?

Zeitgeist: I saw a most of the Chiefs Ravens game. Brodie Croyle coming off an 0-8 in starting was there to replace an injured Matt Cassel; it didn't look good. However, he completed 16 of 24 passes (66.7%) for 177 yards and tied a career high with two TDs. Defense and special teams looked good with a punt block for a return, as well as a Derrick Johnson INT for a lengthy 70-yard return. It looked like they might just have something, and alas, I was not surprised they just couldn't pull it off. Much credit to Joe Flacco and Ravens D. In the end, 188 yards for the Chiefs vs. 501 yards for the Ravens, and you get the picture: still lots of work to be done at Arrowhead.

All I caught were highlights of the Broncos-Bengals game, and by the looks of it that's all I needed to see. Congratulations to Kyle Orton for his flop of a game-saving touchdown (if that's what you call it). In our fantasy league his points actually beat out P. Manning's. What was I thinking benching him(Orton) over Manning!?

Now on to the Monday night game(s).

I pretty much yawned my way through the Patriots-Bills game. I really had no interest in either team, and throwback uniforms kinda make me sick. They always look so bad, why remember that? I watched it for maybe a new glimpse of the T.O. Show but his day was a fizzle. Mostly waiting for the next game and a girlfriend of mine to bring some food and drinks. I'll pass the time with football any day.

Raiders-Chargers was a game I went into with much doubt on my shoulders for my team. I was reluctant to applaud when things were going right but soon couldn't help myself. The addition of Richard Seymour to the defense was awesome for them. Sacking Rivers twice in the first half and holding the elusive L. Tomlinson at bay. I admit that I thought Rob Ryan was one of the only good things the Raiders organization hadn’t fired and was surprised to see a very improved defense this season. I know it's only week one, but keep up that practice, and you are going to win some games. Two things they were not prepared for: the two-minute-drill power of Philip Rivers and the explosive speed and small size of Darren Sproles. It will be very interesting to see the adjustments made by this defense in the upcoming Chiefs game. From what I saw however they have what it takes to be a contender. Is the offense ready to support?

B: I couldn't agree with you less regarding that Pats-Bills game. I don't care much for either club, but I thought it was a good game. Also, I think throwbacks in all sports are pretty awesome, unless they're the powder-blue Chargers, which are guh-ayy. Powder blue is supposed to be reserved for bad Kansas City baseball only.

There is indeed much work to be done for the Chiefs, and I think we're far from knowing just what the Denver Broncos will bring this season. I'd argue the same for the Chargers. An interesting thought I had though: Our two teams have a lot in common this year. Most are expecting that they will generally suck, even though there are the select few that have predicted close-to-.500 finishes for both Kansas City and Oakland. Since the last time we spoke, the Chiefs have completely cleaned house. There's a new general manager, head coach, team of coordinators, and mostly a new roster as well. Comparing this year's 53-man for the Chiefs with what it looked like at the end of last season, 30 players have been cut; some three have found NFL jobs since their departure.

So I'm curious: Do you think this franchise is heading in the right direction? Are they making smart choices? Is it too early to tell?

I'll ask you the same about your club. Obviously, most NFL fans think negatively of Al Davis. We've covered him in the past, so we'll leave him be for the most part. The weird thing to me, though, is the promotion of Tom Cable from offensive coordinator to interim coach, leaving him in that position while you interview other candidates, and then deciding to stick with him in the end. Seems like that's somewhat of a rarity in professional sports, but it could wind up being a smart choice. What are your thoughts on your coach? Did you have any opinion on the jaw punch he delivered to his assistant? Do I understand correctly that that assistant was then relieved of his duties?

As far as the squad, Darren McFadden showed last year, against the miserly Chiefs at least, that he could be a pretty promising rock toter. Monday night looked decent for him as well. Factor in Michael Bush and Justin Fargas when healthy and the Oakland running game could be stellar. As with any running game, this depends heavily on the blocking scheme of the offensive line, which, if Monday night was for real, they should be tough. The defense, as I mentioned, seems to be improved, which bodes well for the Raiders in a potentially weak division of offensive schemes.

The X-factor, in my opinion, continues to be JaMarcus Russell. I don't know how much you follow the SportsTalkRadios, the newspaper columnists, or the blog writers. I follow each in varying degrees, but try to keep my opinions my own. Russell is one topic of discussion in which I can do little more than agree with all of them in the sentiment that he is simply not a good quarterback.



The one compliment that he keeps getting is that he's a large physical specimen, which, to me, is a back-handed way of saying "fatass that hasn't, and might not, develop into a real deal." We talked a bit about him last year, but your thoughts now? Any comment on Russell sporting that trendy mohawk that has unfortuneately come back into fashion for the kidz?

What about this receiving corps? What's the deal with Javon Walker? He's on the roster, but I've heard nary a peep about him. Johnnie Lee Higgins? Darrius Heyward-Bey? Think these guys'll pan out? Looks to me like Louis Murphy and Zach Miller (TE) are the only decent threats Russell has to target. Who's gonna lead this team in catches? Receiving TDs?

Finally, where do you see this team finishing in the standings? Give us a place, and a win-loss prediction, give us a prediction for the game, and tell us, assuming you're going to the 'Head regaled in silver and black, where you're sitting. And if you won't be in attendance, explain to us why you won't be supporting your team in person.

Z: Oh man, leave the Royals out of this; I can only do one bad K.C. team at a time. I can understand the devotion of a Chiefs fan in the hardest of times, because I'm a Raiders and Royals fan. It's pretty bad when even Detroit has a better sports demographic.

It's hard to tell this early in the season if it is the right direction, however it is without a doubt a very "new" direction, which is something the Chiefs have needed for a long time. The Chiefs have been teetering on the clean-house totter for quite some time and after the long awaited resignation of Carl Peterson, I think this organization can finally start anew. I'm excited to see the progress and the unavoidable mistakes that can be made by a fresh team. I gotta tell ya though: Watching Chiefs new Head Coach Todd Haley light up Brodie Croyle like he did early with 9:35 left in the first quarter (Croyle was sacked on 2nd and 9, the Ravens took a timeout....and then the Chiefs took a time out. Why? Brodie Croyle get couldn't the play called in time.) To watch Haley flare up like he did shows real devotion to a winning team and not to players who don't know their job. I could be wrong, but I liked it! With the current staff and attitude I think they have made the best choices they could. Only time will tell on this one.

I'm sooooo done with blaming Al Davis for this team. It might be a factor, but it still comes down to the field. However, when it comes to coaching changes and head scratching afterward this it totally Davis' m.o. That being said, I think I like Tom Cable where he is. The whole punching Randy Hanson thing is nearly a closed case and no charges have been pressed so far. I also heard that this particular asst. had problems with Kiffin also, and was suspended after the Sept 2008 games vs. Denver after harsh words were spoken to the coach. Have not heard about a firing though; looks like they are handling it internally. I'm new to the Tom Cable philosophy and whether it's constructive or not. Right now in hostility-filled Oakland, seems like a good fit.

I couldn't agree more on several levels with the running game and the direction the Raiders are headed with it. This leads into the JaMarcus Russell problem too. Russell has never seemed to be able to calm down enough to keep his accuracy at bay. Several times this last game he threw the ball to no one. I think the organization is putting a lot more emphasis on the run in order to compensate for these problems with the newish QB. Is he or is he not a good QB? Right now I'm leaning towards no. He has a lot of ability and strength, his college performances were outstanding.

However in the NFL everything is faster and everyone is bigger. After sustaining that knee injury last week and getting right back on the field there is no question he is dedicated. He needs to start becoming a leader and heading the charge of this run game, if they could work that one-two punch this team has it. Right now it just looks as if again the run is there to compensate for a still unproven Russell. What’s Matt Leinart doing these days? I'm sure he can prove something.

As for the receiving core I'm about as lost as you are. J. Walker is not hurt but holds a position behind Heyward-Bey and J. Lee Higgins who has a shoulder injury right now. All things being said JaMarcus didn't even hit a wide out against the Chargers until I can’t remember but seemed like around halftime. Which goes back to my point: until this passing game smoothes out, the Raiders are going to still have to fight hard to win, all blown touchdown calls aside (thanks a lot Ref!).

I am not afraid to think that this Raiders team can and will hit .500 or a maybe a little over. With the talent I saw, they definitely have the potential. Would love to go to the game, but the last day of my current employment ends the Saturday before. Will be watching on high def at home saving those ever-precious dollars in a sketchy economy. Chiefs games ain’t cheap.

Man I dunno what to say about the opening mohawk that (Russell and) Shawne Merriman displayed. Apparently if you choke your girlfriend it's acceptable to where a "bro-hawk." JaMarcus may have his issues on the field but off he seems to me to be solid character. My real prediction for this game is that both teams are claiming rights to prove why they should have won the last game. Looking at both teams after watching both games I'm fairly certain the Raiders have it in for the Chiefs. This, of course, depends on the health of Matt Cassel. I say Raiders by +10. What the over/under would be is out of my understanding. Both teams have WAY too much to prove. That is if I even understood this season’s officiating rules, which are getting pretty obscure.

B: Awesome. Well thank you, sir, once more, for your time. We'll see you Sunday. I'm calling for the home team by four.
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Sunday Sermon: Today Brodie Rides

Hell, to the fuck yeah, baby. Arrowhead Pride, among others, is reporting that Matt Cassel is inactive to open the 2009 Kansas City Chiefs season at M&T Bank Stadium against the Baltimore Ravens. The folks at the CBS pre-game show are calling this the best decision that Todd Haley has made in his short time in Kansas City. They're calling Croyle the sacrificial lamb.

I frequently stand up for this booth over Fox's, but in this particular situation, I say fuck those clowns. Granted, Croyle is in a terrible situation. He's coming off a season filled with multiple injuries, and this will be his second kickoff-weekend start. He's facing an allegedly still-ferocious Ravens defense, and he no longer has Tony Gonzalez as an option. What's worse, the Kansas City offensive line is nothing shy of Swiss Chiefs.

Brodie has lived, though, to bang another day when many thought he would not be on the Chiefs roster after 2008. Memory fails to recall another NFL player in recent seasons with so many doubters, so few giving him the support that translates to confidence. He hasn't shown much to deserve such support, but he's also played for some really bad teams. I'm still on the Brodie bandwagon, though. I got nothing against Cassel, but I'd love for a nation of many to eat their fat-mouthed words. Go get 'em, kid.
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Foxy, Fluffy, Favre-y, Fantasy Football Friday

Fantasy football draft number one is out of the way. Thought my team looked pretty good last night, but, uh, I was wasted. Doesn't look so good this morning. Football that matters, however, after the jump.

How's KC going to do this year? Is a 3-13 Chiefs season in the works? Let's hope not.

Is it possible for the Chiefs and the Royals to lose on the same day to teams from the same town? You bet it is.

Never seen an episode of The Office, but I'm told I'd enjoy it.



This clip has Old No. 7's favorite professional mascot in it. It's also pretty flippin' silly.

There's a lot of quarterback talk going on since Saturday's loss to the Texans. Some, the minority I'm unqualified to say, feel that Brodie Croyle could beat out Matt Cassel for the starting job.

Jason Whitlock's take in The Kansas City Star is hands down, a must-skim. It would be unprofessional of you to read the whole thing.

It would be unprofessional of us to leave out Kissing Suzy Kolber's look at this year's AFC West.

And finally, the Chiefs have a new Web site,

and I'm wondering...



...does Brett Favre ever shave? I mean, like, correctly?

(Update: My bad. That was rude. Since the rough focus of this blog is in fact the rivalry between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Denver Broncos, I should toss one in for the bad guys. There isn't much in the way of news in this story, but the headline tickled me in a most savory fashion.)
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Friday Fiction Fix: "Idols"

When we have the opportunity to deliver an installment of this feature, the idea is to typically blend stories, one that's written, one that tells another with images. Today we're making an exception in that the photo-image story is not one, but a series of individual mini-stories, if you will. The author of "Idols," today's piece of fiction, is a guy by the name of Tim Gautreaux, who hails from Louisiana, and has seen his work published in The New Yorker, Harper's, and Atlantic, among others. He has also published two novels, The Next Step in the Dance and The Missing, in addition to a couple short-story collections.



He is the Writer in Residence at Southeastern Louisiana University and has won several awards, including the 2005 John Dos Passos Prize. "Idols" appears in the June 22 issue of The New Yorker.

The story is, in my interpretation, about two men who've set their lives -- or at least the current portion of it -- and every ounce of their will toward achieving one goal. Such determination, one might argue, can be admirable, but there may some details of futility that get in the way. The character from whom we will (mostly)hear is named Obie.

“'Some men can change like a porch lizard switches colors,'



(he) said...'And some cain’t.'”

Obie gives us this gem early in the piece, which, in a sense, gives us the motif via foreshadowing.

“'I know about what a man thinks he needs.'”



"And with this he began unbuttoning his shirt."

By undressing, Obie will reveal something to the other main character, Mr. Smith. Chances of that something being a naked Bar Rafaeli video are slim, but we can all dream, right?

“'Maybe I don’t need ’em no more.



Get a little older, you need less and less.'”

I went to my sixth Royals game last night, and it was absolutely brutal. This team cannot hit, which means it cannot win. Period. The buddy that went with me simply couldn't grasp why I was so disappointed afterwards. He just didn't get it. As an interesting side note, I met Joakim Soria's wife afterwards at a bar. We had a five-minute conversation about where they met, how long they'd been married, etc. I made a comment about a typo on his Twitter page, which went over real well, but we moved past it. We talked about how long they'd dated, Mexicutioner facial hair -- she said she doesn't mind it except for when he's "down there attending to business" -- injuries, and athlete travel. Things were going relatively fine until I asked her what the name of the bar -- she'd already disclosed that they met in one -- in which they met was, and she lost it. She started screaming at me and called me a douche bag, which I found highly original, and tried to throw a drink on me. It was good times. One of my friends, in a fit of sheer sobriety, tried to get in her face, and her friend tried to apologize for her friend's actions, etc. Then my buddy tried to ask the friend (who had already told us she has a live-in boyfriend) out, and, well, like I said, good times. Getting back to our story...

Obie and Mr. Smith talk marriage. Both men have had their share of troubles.

“'Aw, she’s just a woman. Can’t hurt a man unless she buys a gun.'”











What? That last lady didn't have a firearm? Oh. Sorry 'bout that.

Anyway, we find out later that Obie has religion in his life:

“'Save me, O God, for the waters threaten my life;



I am sunk in the abysmal swamp where there is no foothold.'”

Ah. The good old days when the AFC West wasn't the NFL laughing stock, and people weren't wondering if the Raiders might make a run at the division.

There's a third (fairly) major character in the story. His role is crucial for a number of reasons, and he has his opinions on Obie.

“'That boy’s a good worker. I believe he can fix a broke horse.'”



For the purposes of this little vignette, "Obie" is Kansas City Royals Trainer Nick Swartz, who has been, shall we say, discussed a bit recently.

One of the characters finds the path to success, and must relish in it.

“'The old me’s gone. The new me’s got to move on down the road...



...Might be time to sell out.'”

Several months later, and I still can't believe that these two will don new uniforms for real next month.

The character who finds success seeks help from he who has not:

“'I’m sorry, (sir),



but it sounds like things is past fixin’.'”

And we'll wrap it up there. Please follow the pre-jump link and give "Idols" a go without photo/commentary interruption, and if you like it, consider purchasing some of Gatreaux's work here.
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Tradition Tuesday: Mah Tayk on the Skay-jull

If you're new to these parts, pilgrim, the rough focus of this blog pits the Kansas City Chiefs against the Denver Broncos, the eternal co-stars in an "Over the Top" sequel. Yeah, it's that bad.

Don't forget though, that there's more than just the ridiculous storyline and the terrible acting. There's cheap cans of beer that turn The Iron Triangle's guts into nuclear weapons. There're wives armed with cameras, party-kegs full of heckling, and almost always a loss for the visitors. The Tradition, as we so originally dubbed it, is now in its ninth year, and this feature is our weekly attempt to stretch those two weeks into 52.

Last week, Cecil dropped his annual Denver Broncos schedule/prediction post, which is significant in that he's typically pretty right on with his picks. And now it's my turn to deliver a Chiefs slant, and the only significance noteworthy of that is that I typically wind up on the opposite side of the Cecil Spectrum, more simply noted as highly inaccurate.

For example, two years ago, I picked the Chiefs to go 10-6 when the schedule was released. When, after seven weeks of playing, they sat at 4-3, I was feeling pretty good about things. Little did I know, however, that under the tutelage of one Herman A. Edwards, they would begin a nine-game losing streak, and in fact carry that over into the 2008 season. When they wound up at 4-12, I was, as they say, a bit off the mark, not to mention furious at such a pathetic campaign. If, on the day that season ended, you would've told me that things were only going to get worse, I would've a) laughed, and b) punched you straight in your junkticles, and c) not necessarily in that order. When last year's schedule was announced, I called 6-10, certain that strides were being made in the right direction, though in hindsight, I cannot recall upon which anthill I planted that seed of conviction. As we all painfully remember, the two-game difference in the win columns between 2007 and 2008 were not, in fact on the slope of improvement, bringing my erroneous prediction history inside this very House of Georges to a splendid to an accuracy median of five games off of the actual.

I, nonetheless, am back, for another go at this inexact science, and the calculations look a bit like this:

at Baltimore, 9/13: The thought of kicking off the season on the road against a playoff team is largely less than desirable. In fact, it outright blows, especially considering that said team was one win away from a Super Bowl appearance. Even though this club is known for sound defense, and they surprised everyone with their success last year, and had the fourth-best rushing totals on the season, I don't see them being as tough this go-round. I imagine some of the rookie-coach/rookie-quarterback (Editor's Note: Bert) accolades taper off in the sophomore run. It won't, unfortunately, taper off enough for a season-opening loss at home to the rebuilding (Note: again) Chiefs.

Chiefs 10, Ravens 20; 0-1

vs. Oakland, 9/20: I'm not interested in hearing about plausible improvements at the Coliseum. The Raiders, their owner, their now-non-interim head coach, their overrated roster, and their retard fan base can all die a slow Chinese-Water-Torture death. Chiefs break even.

Raiders 16, Chiefs 24; 1-1


at Philadelphia, 9/27: Here begins one thing I don't understand about the schedule, and it doesn't ultimately matter, but I find it bizarre that K.C. gets all four NFC East teams in a row. In a word: lame. I've always felt that the Eagles were a bit overrated in that they maintain a few key guys on the roster, and try to fill gaps with free agents. I sense this season to be the beginning of the end for both Andy Reid and Donovan McNabb in the Brotherly Love zip code, especially when they drop a week-three contest against the massive-underdog Chief squad.

Chiefs 19, Eagles 13; 2-1


vs. New York Giants, 10/04: The crew manned by Mo' Like She-li and the tomato-faced dictator are much more put together than anyone else in the East. They make easy work of Kansas City, running and throwing at will, and shutting them down defensively.

Giants 27, Chiefs 3; 2-2

vs. Dallas, 10/11: Darn tootin' if this ain't a feel-good match for the two old squads from Dallas. Legend has it that the ol' Cowboys owner would never give Lamar Hunt a shot at beating the other Dallas team back in the day. This contest could very well be the eye-opener for Jerry Jones that Wade Phillips is not good, and Roy Williams is not Terrell Owens. The former Texans get one for the late gipper.

Dallas 10, Chiefs 21; 3-2

at Washington, 10/18: I thought the Redskins would be a Cinderella story last year. Instead they kind of wound up sucking in comparison to the rest of their division. I doubt their free-agency acquisitions and their decent draft picks this weekend will help them to win this contest in October.

Chiefs 17, Redskins 16; 4-2

vs. San Diego, 10/25: Next come the Bolts to Arrowhead, and all of the experts and gurus think that this is the only real, playoff-ready team in the AFC West. As close/ridiculous as the two Chiefs-Chargers affairs were last year, they're probably right.

Chargers 24, Chiefs 14; 4-3

at Jacksonville, 11/08: This might be the toughest pick on the slate. Jack del Rio's team seems to balance out every strong season with a mediocre one that follows. Last year's efforts netted them five wins, ranking it under that less-than-savory umbrella, so I imagine they'll be tough this year.

Chiefs 16, Jaguars 31; 4-4

at Oakland, 11/15: Hey, look. It's the Raiders again. Beat it, losers.

Chiefs 27, Raiders 13; 5-4

vs. Pittsburgh, 11/22: Back home to host the defending Super Bowl champions. I think we all know how that shapes up. No, not just because they're the champs, but because a) Mike Tomlin is the best bloach in the biz, and because the last time these two clubs met, the Chiefs were too busy drinking cosmos and buying sex toys.

Steerels an' Hines Wald, 30, Chiefs 13; 5-5

at San Diego, 11/29: Even when San Diego was tough, the Chiefs have had decent success at Qualcomm. I gotta believe the Chargers put up more than eight wins for the division this season. This game's one of 'em.

Chiefs 11, Chargers 37; 5-6

vs. Denver, 12/06: Denver comes to Arrowhead in December. Jackpot. Count it.

Broncos 17, Chiefs 24; 6-6

vs. Buffalo, 12/13: Ooo. The Bills drubbed the Chiefs last year. Smoked 'em. Made villages of the defense, then raped and pillaged it. This is one of those hard-to-figure out matches that never seems to go K.C.'s way. Two thousand nine's no exception.

Bills 26, Chiefs 19; 6-7

at Cleveland, 12/20: Eric Mangini had success in his first year in New York, and I reckon Brady Quinn will be much discussed this season, as he'll have some shitty games, and some good games. This one falls under not shitty.

Chiefs 16, Browns 28; 6-8

at Cincinnati, 12/27: How we draw the Bengals yet again is really flipping amazing. Granted, we didn't square off with Cincy in 2004, but to face them -- a non-division foe -- in '03, '05, '06, '07, '08, and again in '09 for five of the last six seasons has got to have some oddsmakers somewhere scratching their head. But you know what? The Bengals are a sorry-ass franchise. They ain't gettin' better any time soon.

Chiefs 38, Bengals 18; 7-8

at Denver, 01/03: All in all, you can eliminate the rosters in this match. Shanahan is gone, and the last time these two clubs played in January, let alone for three times in a calendar year (Note: This, of course, is assuming that they won't play each other in the regular season in January, 2010.), the home team lost. This is the best revenge cocktail I've tasted in a literal decade, except it's not really revenge until, well, we win consecutive championships, build a new stadium, and beat the Broncos in the first eight years of its existence. Either way, road team/good guys come out ahead in a slugfest where the Iron Triangle has warm boots, candy-cane-coffee Schnapp's, plenty of hot sake, and all in all, rotten seasons.

Chiefs 12, Broncos 10; 8-8

While a .500 mark won this once-proud division a year ago, ain't happenin' this time. Hurry up, draft. Hurry up, and get here.
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