Baseball in the Daytime: The Feisty Two-Four of September

They keep scheduling the day-baseball games, even though the sheer numbers of contests keep dwindling. But we here at the House of Georges, love us our day baseball, so we're gonna keep previewing these glorious matches. If you're not in agreeance with the awesomeness of being at the yard in the sun on a weekday, we might have to box, and if that's the case -- look out. We're scrappy. We mix our Scott Feldman with a touch of Kyle Farnsworth, a spot of Michael Barrett, a dash of Mike Sweeney, and (assuming you're an old, dumpy base coach) a twist of Pedro Martinez. So, go ahead: hit the heavy bag, run a few laps, but before you do, hop past the leap and see if today's matinees don't seem more enticing than losing a fight with us tough guys.

Cincinnati @ Pittsburgh, 11:35 Central: We kick things off today with a pair of righties, neither of whom has had a ton of luck on the hill this season. It's Bronson Arroyo (13-13, 4.04 E.R.A.) going for the visiting team, the 4-8 Charlie Morton for las Piratas. Morton's 4-8 with an even five earned-run average. These clubs'll take the PNC Park field today with visions of a better next year. They're 15 and 29 games out, respectively, essentially done for 2009. Listen in if you're so inclined, on XM 183.

Texas @ Oakland, 2:35: The second of two light-free contests today takes place at the Coliseum in Oaktown. Your starters include the 17-5 Scott Feldman for the A's, whose posted an impressive 3.62, and southpaw Brett Andeson for the Athletics, who sits at 10-10 with a 4.21. Oakland is like our previous two teams: done for the season, while Texas can't seem to get over that seven-game distance between them and first-place Los Anaheim. They're also seven games back of Boston for a Wild Card spot, so they'd ultimately need to play mistake-free baseball and maybe even get some help to get in. Hats off to them, though, for putting together an impressive campaign, and congratulations are in order to Mr. Feldman, who, headed into today, actually has as shot at a 20-win year. If you like you some Rangers-A's, 721's your DirecTV dial. If you're listening, it's XM 176.

There you have it. Day baseball at its finest. If you can't get away from the office, plug in the headphones and pretend you're on a really long conference call.
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Dear Lord In Heaven Please Please Make It End

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Baseball In The Daytime: Tax Day

It's also Jackie Robinson Day, and thus you have a scorekeeper's nightmare where entire teams and many players will don the universally retired No. 42 of Mr. Robinson. And, for historical accuracy, fans will hurl beer bottles and epithets at ballplayers on the field.

Actually, that probably won't happen. Instead we'll simply scan the diamonds for clutch hits and pitches, including those from the following games played without artificial light.

But first I must admonish our administrator for allowing some of the House's wiring to fall out of building code. The link to Kissing Suzy Kolber has changed, sir, and ours is out of date fine (Editor's Note: I'm on this shit, idiot). Just like old favorite The Dugout has been on AOL for almost a year (Ed. Note: You can still get there just fine, moron. And don't miss this instant classic). OK, so maybe the links do work, we're still missing some fantastic baseball-themed blogs. I demand Fire Joe Morgan make the cut. And Bugs & Cranks is deserving too (they even cover the Royals!). We ought to have a Rockies blog, and this one ain't bad. UmpBump, Walk Off Walk and Yanks Fan/Sox Fan are still in the minors, but could be called up midseason--give 'em a look (Ed. Note: These requests could easily be taken care of in an interoffice memo, but apparently it benefits your street cred to yell at The Man).

Oakland @ Chicago White Sox, 12:05 Mountain A couple of surprising junior circuit clubs take to The Cell's green grass, led by a couple of surprising junior pitchers: Dana Eveland and John Danks, bro.

Los Anaheim Angeloses @ Texas, 2:05 You can beat 'em up, you can knock out half their rotation, you can try to poison their fans, but these Angels just won't die. In fact, with all their challenges, they're but a game out of first in the West. Dustin Moseley, who is subbing for injured Lackey/Escobar, is your starter in red, while Kevin Millwood rehashes his tired act in Ranger blue.

Arizona @ San Francisco, 2:35 I've told you before how many home runs Micah Owings hit in high school, how bout some more fun trivia? Like he's dating this chick from Hong Kong? His opposition today, Kevin Correia, pronounces his name like "Korea." And Korea is in Asia, like Hong Kong. Join us in five days for more dumb facts about Micah Owings.

Kansas City @ Seattle, 4:40 I was going to dazzle y'all today with a bunch of hard core stats about Kansas City's pitching prowess this year, but then I saw that we've already shoved a bunch of Royals crap down your throat. We'll simply leave you with the fact that John Bale is going for KC's third straight complete game against Miguel Batista.

(Update: Walkoff Walk is now officially sent back to the Single A, and may be designated for assignment. The reason? Blatantly ripping off the feature you're currently reading. Was poaching a rhyming headline not enough for you assholes? Now you conveniently adopt the day-baseball beat that I've been running for nearly a year? Credit where credit's due, punks. If I see an image of clam juice we are throwing down.)
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We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday: Bank's Obligatory Cheerleader Post

It was bound to happen sooner or later. Seven did it first. And now, a mere two months later, it's my turn. Here's the difference, though. I could also be a giant homer and publish a post of cheerleaders that root and rah for my team, regardless of their hotness. But I've got something even better. Better, I might venture, than any other NFL squad's pom-pom donners. And they are none other than the cheerleaders that represent the Houston Texans Football Club. Yes. Gone are the days of the Dallas Cowboys boasting the hottest squadron of over-excited ladies. Make no mistake, though. The trophy remins in the Lone Star state. Speaking of which, check out the Q&A I conducted (Editor's Note: Or don't.) with a fan of the Texans, who claimed that they'd win nine games and garner a playoff spot. I warned her about those pesky Colts, but no. She had to be a stubborn little Texas whore homer and talk smack after her alleged boyfriend Jerome Mathis ran the opener back for six. But, the great thing about this squad -- well, an other great thing about them -- is that both HoG teams square off against them Texans this year. That is, the Chiefs already lost to them, and the Broncos face them in week 15.

Nevertheless, let's peep some pyramid parts.



The Rookies




The 19-year-old Ashley brings youthful energy in her first year on the squad.



When she's not cheering on Matt Schaub and company, she likes to surf. She also likes making other people happy.




Susannah's a 25 year-old rook who's into belly dancing and likes getting massages. I'm quite certain the HoG staff could work out some trade with this 'leader.




Andrea's also a newbie to the Reliant crew.



She and I have a lot in common, in that the 20 year-old recently took up golf and really likes Mint Chocolate Chip ice cream. I imagine I'd let her lick my scoop on the back nine. Fore!


The Sophomore



This is Erica's second year on the team.



For obvious reasons, she was welcomed back aboard.



In the not-so-obvious department, she wants to reach out and show people love, kindness and generosity, which, coincidentally, we're looking for someone to fill a vacancy in that department here at the HoG World Headquarters. Who knew?


The Twice-As-Nice Third Year



Larisa and Marisa are -- yep, what a guess -- identical twins.



At age 22, they join the Texans rooters for a third straight season



Larisa likes "The Price is Right,"



while Marisa digs her some "Wheel of Fortune." Me? I happen to have posters of Bob Barker and Pat Sajak in my living room. And I have a TiVo. Just in case we miss anything.


Four-Year Vets



Kisha has experience with the squad.



Four years to be exact. She's 25,



and she also has a hint of a nasty, Miss Jackson type of an edge to her.



Her favorite part of the game is "definitely the touchdowns." I couldn't agree more. Scoring does in fact rule.



Celina's also 25.



And she's into hot yoga. I have no idea what that is, but sign me up.


Five Years



Elizabeth is in the midst of her fifth campaign with team Houston.



She's 26, she likes to watch baseball, and she's determined.



Elizabeth's goal is to always be in a position she can enjoy. I hear wedding bells.


Six, Baby. Six



Samantha really knows her way around the facility. At 26, she's into pursuing happiness as well as spending time outdoors. Hey, what guy doesn't like roughing it?

And there you have a mere sampling of the best talent in NFL cheerleading according to one-third of the Iron Triangle that is the House of Georges. Cheers!

(All photos courtesy of the Texans website.)
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