Conversations on the Corner: The AL Central

Welcome, one. Welcome, all, to our fifth installment of "Conversations on the Corner." Our editing team was interested in just how well Major League Baseball's first basemen know one another, and -- when they're on base -- if they're talkin' shop, or about the next day off's round of golf. Earlier in the series, we visited with the Cubs' Derek Lee and the Rockies' Todd Helton regarding the National League East here. The Padres' Adrian Gonzalez spoke with us about the NL West here. Cardinals' first baseman Albert Pujols broke down the NL Central here, and most recently, Seattle Mariners' glover Richie Sexson put the American League West under the lens here. Today, with the help of Minnesota Twins first baseman Justin Morneau, we dig into the first-base side of the AL Central. Our discussion with him, after the jump.

Bankmeister: Mr. Morneau -- with the major league schedule in full effect, we're grateful that you would take time out of a now seldom-seen day off to chat with us. Thanks so much.
Justin Morneau: (nods)Not a problem. Thanks for having me.
B: First off, I gotta ask: What's with the towel? You thinking of auditioning for the role of Emporer in the new Star Wars television series?
JM: There's going to be a Star Wars TV series?
B: Yes. It's going to feature all MLB players. So far, they've cast Bartolo Colon as Jabba the Hut and Milton Bradley as Bubba Fett. Word is that David Ortiz is in the running to win the role as Chewbacca, while Derek Jeter is slated to play Princess Leia.
JM: For real?
B: Yes. You should have your agent look in to it. If the towel doesn't work out for you, maybe you can get in as C-3P0.
JM: Wow. That's awesome. Who's playing Darth Vader?
B: David Stern.
JM: Weird.
B: I know. Anyway, you've made quite a name for yourself in the AL Central as of late: AL MVP two years ago, and All-Star appearance, some post-season action. You think your success will continue into this season?
JM: I certainly hope so. Most importantly, I'd like to contribute to the success of my team. Our division looks tougher than ever this year, and we've got to notch some more wins.
B: True indeed. The Central should be a dog fight. Let's break down your counterparts, starting with Carlos Guillen of the Detroit Tigers.
JM: Well, there're a lot of expectations for that club this year. They've got that stacked payroll, and a lot of big sticks in their lineup. Hopefully Carlos won't feel too much pressure in terms of staying competitive with his teammates.
B: Right, but you don't want him to be too good. At least not when he visits the Twin Cities.
JM: (laughs) Nor when we visit the Motor City.
B: Let's talk about that cursed last name: Guillen.
JM: What do you mean?
BM: Well, Justin -- I think it's pretty obvious, and even weirder now that the three main Guillens are all in the same division. Carlos had his drinking-and-driving episode a few years back when he was with Seattle. Jose, now with Kansas City, has that "locker room cancer" label attached to him, and obviously, there was his ordeal with Mike Scioscia a couple years ago. And of course, there's Cuckoo-for-Cocoa Puffs Ozzie over in Chicago.
JM: Um...I'm not even touching that one.
B: Fair enough. The Cleveland Indians. Ryan Garko. Go.
JM: Well...aren't you going to ask me a question about him?
B: Of course. What do you suppose the weekly over/under is on Donnie Darko references for him?
JM: Huh?
B: Nevermind. Since we were talking about being cursed, how do you suppose a guy must feel being a native of the home of pedophiles/pierogies, and employed in a city that Jesus obviously doesn't love?
JM: Banky, that makes zero sense to me, whatsoever.
B: That's okay. We won't hold it against you.
JM: Hold what against me?
B: Let's just say it's not your fault that you're completely unfamiliar with the world of slightly unprofessional sports blogging.
JM: And this has what to do with first basemen?
B: Everything. But anyway, the Tribe is struggling. Last year's AL Cy Young winner can't seem to pitch his way out of a torn teepee, and their power hitters are, uh, not looking all that powerful thus far.
JM: Well, they've got some guys who are hitting for power.
B: But not much. The most consistency they're getting is coming from their catcher.
JM: Hey -- it's a long season. It's early. They'll pull it together, you know?
B: Yes, Justin. I know. How about you guys? Obviously, you're not doing bad with 10 runs batted in and five long balls already.
JM: I could be much better. We as a team could be much better. And we'll get there.
B: How's Boof doing?
JM: Boof? He's great. One of the strongest starts I've seen from him.
B: You ever consider legally changing your name to something that slangly implies copulation?
JM: Uh, no.
B: Very good. As of today, you guys are tied with the Kansas City Royals for second place in the division. That surprise you?
JM: To be honest, not really. Obviously, we see them a lot, and they played some really good ball in the middle-to-late part of last season. They should continue to play decent baseball, especially if they keep getting good starts out of their pitchers.
B: How about the bats on that team?
JM: They've improved. For sure. Their coaching staff needs to keep doing whatever they're doing and they'll stay competitive.
B: How textbook. What about this kid Billy Butler?
JM: Billy's got an incredible swing. I haven't really gotten to know him much, but he seems to have a lot of promising attributes in him.
B: Royals' manager Trey Hillman has, on occasion, been starting Butler at first as of late, but the skipper has repeatedly stated how much of a Ross Gload fan he is. Is that troubling for a manager?
JM: No. Not at all. You want to have more than one guy competitive at each position. Ross is a leader, he swings a consistent bat, and he'll only be challenged all the more with a guy like Billy waiting to take his job.
B: What if Hillman morphed the two?
JM: What do you mean?
B: I mean, what if he went all Dr. Frankenstein, and say, made a Boss Gutler, or a Rilly Bload?
JM: (chuckles) That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard.
B: It could happen, Justin. We'll save that for some other time, though. In first, and perhaps surprising everyone, are Ozzie's White Sox. Talk about Paul Konerko.
JM: Obviously, Paul's a veteran. He's a guy that the younger guys on the club look up to. He's got a championship under his belt, and when he gets hot, you've got to play him deep.
B: You've got to what?
JM: Play him deep. You know, expect the long ball out of the guy.
B: I'm confused. It sounds like you're trying to hit on him via this interview.
JM: (laughs again) No, dude. Homeruns. Power hitting.
B: Right. Justin -- how's being Canadian working out for you?
JM: I don't even know what that means.
B: Well, it's kind of a given that Canadians are, um not very well liked here in the states.
JM: This is the first I've heard of that.
B: Sure it is. You're a pretty Web savvy guy, right?
JM: Web savvy?
B: Yeah. You've got your Web page, your MySpace page, your Facebook site, etc.
JM: Yeah. I guess so.
B: So you spend all of this time in the Internet, and you've never felt threatened as a Canadian?
JM: Not once.
B: Interesting. Well, take it from me. It's out there. The hate, that is.
JM: Weird. I thought Canada was considered pretty benign.
B: Let's just say, I'd keep that little tidbit under wraps when you go to audition for the Star Wars show.
JM: Thanks for the advice.
B: Thank you, and good luck this season.

Check back tomorrow, as our AL East installment concludes the series. It should be stellar, as said division includes under-hyped teams like Boston and New York.

Update: I promise, with every ounce of journalistic integrity in me, I had no idea my colleague would be simultaneously bashing our northern neighbors. Swear.