Baseball In The Daytime: 4-16-08

As we pass the ides of April, the daytime hardball action begins to dwindle. Soon big league clubs will dispense with all the off days and snow delays and settle into the 162-game grind, with most games played at night to maximize revenue and avoid the blazing sun. Oh, we'll get our Tuesday and Thursday getaway tomfoolery, the occasional Monday reacharound, and of course Fridays at Wrigley, but they'll be rare, my friends.

Today gives us a solo shot of game action, featuring possibly the least valuable player in the majors. After the jump get your preview, as well as our running analysis of our shadow, Walkoff Walk's eerily familiar "Such A Fine Looking Afternoon."

Arizona @ San Francisco, 1:45 Mountain Your scorching-hot D'Bags take their best-looking-team-in-baseball schtick to McCovey Cove today for an engagement with the Giants. The Snakes' young lineup continues to absolutely hammer the ball, with even rusty Conor Jackson belting a bomb last night in an 8-2 win over the G-Men. Today Arizona's ace righty Brandon Webb gets the ball, where he'll toe the rubber of San Fran's freakishly tall mound.

Opposing Webb is Barry Zito, he of the $126 million Giant contract, and 11-16 Giant record (with a hefty 4.53 ERA to boot). Is Zito, considering his compensation, the game's LVP? When you look a the other nine-figure deals in baseball, almost all are met with at least comparable production. A-Rod is the best hitter in the game, Jeter is a perennial All-Star, Manny is a Hall of Famer. Todd Helton doesn't earn his pay, but he's the face of a franchise and a beloved captain. Vernon Wells and Carlos Lee are big-time outfielders and run producers. Miguel Cabrera and Johan Santana just signed their deals but look like sound investments.

The only guys you can compare Zito to are Mike Hampton and Jason Giambi. Both signed $120-million-ish contracts that expire this season. Giambi has been a brittle, defenseless schlub of a Yankee, has never won a title in pinstripes (though that's clearly all A-Rod's fault), but he hits an occasional clutch jack. Hampton has matriculated on to several different teams and can not stay healthy at all. So I guess your typical Zito outing is better than your typical Hampton start, which is a Triple-A pitcher filling in for him while Mike eats Cheetos. Way to go, Barry. You're only the second biggest waste of an eighth of a billion dollars out there.

Walkoff Walk Watch WoW is a solid baseball blog, run by longtime Deadspinners Rob Iracane and Camp Tiger Claw. They publish a number of regular features with wit and wisdom, including the sublimely excellent Corey Patterson Watch. Now I certainly don't want to sling monkey shit at the one and only man who could grant me a Deadspin commenter's account, but it has to be said: Walkoff Walk are some idea-snatchin' motherfuckers. Their new feature, Such A Fine Looking Afternoon, is a blatant heist of Baseball In The Daytime.

So we will, from time to time, assess the performance of these pilfering bastards. After all, who would have a better idea of how skilled a thief is than the victim of the crime? I know, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Today's SAFLA is...not there as of press time. So I guess that'll be an F. The day baseball beat is a tough one, boys. Occasionally you have to wake up at ten. I do have a promise of an Iracane live-blog for the AZ-SF game, so we'll keep an eye out. As dedicated as I am to the national pastime, I'm nowhere near committed enough to sit through an entire Giants game, much less crack wise about it. Good luck, gents, now let's Play Ball!