Showing posts with label Seattle Mariners. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Seattle Mariners. Show all posts

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Baseball in the Daytime: el 20 de Agosto, Dos Mil Nueve



There's some Thursday day baseball on tap today, and it's comin' at you two-for-one style instead of the usual sixer. Read all about it, after the jump.

They Might Be Giants @ WKRPs, 11:35 Central: Our leadoff contest is a National League snoozer, which is a bit redundant, but hey. Just kidding San Francisco, even though they've let the SethFuckingSmiths leapfrog them in the standings, has had a pretty impressive season. They sit a dozen over .500 heading into this contest, and they'll send Matt Cain-and-Abel to the hill. He's put together an awesome 12-4 effort and kept the ol' E.R.A. under three, which is rad for a dude that may or may not kill his own brother. His adversary is one Aaron Harang-ya-Harang-ya-went-out-get-a-rope-and-hang-ya. Oh, my God, it's early. A pre-nooner even, for Harang, who's just been unappreciated this season, keeping the earned-run average to a 4.35 but going 6-14 thus far, mostly because his team's offense is awful. How awful? They've scored 14 fewer runs than the Royals, if that's any indication. Anyhoo, DirecTV has the match for you on 721, 722, or have a listen on XM 183.

Former Pilots @ Motown Roy Horn Assailants, 12:05: Couple .500+ clubs, couple .500+ pitchers set to go. I likey. My man Ryan Rowland-Smith gets the tops of innings in a Seattle uniform today, while sheep-fucker Jerrod Washburn goes for the Tigers. Both of these clubs can piss off, for all I care. Stupid Detroit keeps forcing the Royals to stay in last place in the A.L. Central, and it's like the Mariners are in on it too, threatening our general manager to continue taking all of their players. But Detroit has seen Minnesota slide in the Central and Chicago's still heel-nipping, all of two games back. Seattle, meanwhile, has continued to play respectable ball, even though they're 12 games out in the West. It's Rowland-Smith's 2-1/3.60 against Washburn's 8-7/2.95 for our second and last day baseball affair, and you can find it on DirecTV 213, 723, or 724. XM might have it, too. Check channel 176 to be sure.

There you have it, baseball fans. If you head out to the yard, drink some water and put on some sunscreen. That sun's a devil out there.
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Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Baseball In The Daytime: July 29 2009

Yesterday was about the most miserable day of the whole summer. I was intensely hung over from the night before, when I volunteered to help serve food at a concert and ended up drinking a vast amount of Evan Williams "bourbon." The Red Sox, who I follow with great relish, blew a seemingly unblowable game--up by three in the ninth with Pap on the hill. The Rockies, who I keep track of with noticeable regional pride, got worked 4-0 by the New York Mets. To call the Mets a train wreck is to insult many proud drunken railroad engineers who once got plowed on Evan Williams and derailed their vessels. The Mets are chaos wrapped in a riot surrounded by a disorganized circus of unsupervised screaming children.

So the mood was sour when I went to play softball. I know, softball. It's not really a sport, and it's barely a game. To compare my softball foibles to what happens on a major league baseball diamond, even if it involves the Mets, is a leap that strains all credibility. But I'm telling the story and you're stuck reading it, so kiss off. My team, which normally defines mediocrity, has been on quite the little postseason run. After an unremarkable 3-5 regular season, we caught fire in the tournament and advanced to semifinals against our hated nemeses, the Rapist Kangaroos. In the midst of losing to these dicks, I took a line drive off my throwing hand. I don't think it's broken, but my right ring finger is about the same color as those two-tone batting helmets the Rockies wear. If I fumble a few Ks and Us while typing today, that's my excuse.

Now that all my whining is out of the way, let's move on to today. The sun is shining, there's day baseball on the docket, and all is right and peaceful with the world. Join me after the jump, where I'll preview today's ballgames and give you several indispensable bits of baseball trivia you can show off around the water cooler...

Houston @ Chicago Cubs, 12:20 Mountain Boy howdy has this National League Central turned into a humdinger of a donnybrook. After languishing in Suckville for three-fifths of the season, the Cubs have decided in the past two weeks to start playing up to their promise, payroll and preseason predictions. Chicago briefly wrested control of the division from the Cardinals on Monday, but then they gave it right back last night following their heartbreaking gag job versus these dirty Astros. Today the Cubs assign rookie Randy Wells the task of painting the black, while Mike Hampton gets the start for Houston.

Cleveland @ Los Anaheim, 1:35 On the site of an old citrus grove in Orange County today, we get a pitching matchup of Aaron Laffey v. John Lackey. In the annals of funny pitching names, these two are nowhere near the ironical humor of Kevin Slowey, Grant Balfour or Bob Walk. But still, Laffey-Lackey is pretty smirk-inducing. Also, the Indians really blow.

Pittsburgh @ San Francisco, 1:45 While we're getting cheap laughs off of puns involving the random distributions of starting pitchers, let's head to the City By The Bay. There, in a seemingly nondescript tilt betwixt the Pirates and Giants, your starting pitchers are Zach Duke and Matt Cain. Duke-Cain. Same pronunciation as Duquesne, a respectable Catholic university located in...wait for it...Pittsburgh. ZOMG! what are the odds? I guarantee I was the only scribe in Blogstralia to pick up on this stupid, stupid coincidence today.

Toronto @ Seattle, 2:40 Our final day game today features...what? Why are you looking at me like that? I promised you insightful analysis and all you got from me is a rote glance at the standings and a couple dumb jokes? You want stats? YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE STATS! I'm here for a few yuks and maybe a guffaw, pal. You want stats, buy an abacus.

Anyway, back to lovely Safeco Field, where Roy Halladay will be on an unfamiliar short leash for his start today. Not because he's shitty or the Blue jays have anything to play for, but because he could literally be traded ANY MINUTE NOW. Seriously, in the middle of his windup he might be tackled by two player-personnel guys from the Phillies and whisked to a waiting helicopter. It's that secretive and intense in the Roy Halladay Saga.

Everyone is shocked, shocked I tell you, that Toronto GM J.P. Ricciardi's super-serious Halladay trading deadline of yesterday was complete bullshit. Doc is still in play, but most teams publicly claim to be offended by Ricciardi's immense greed in the number and quality of prospects it will require to secure his services. Philly refuses to part with Kyle Drabek, the Red Sox balked at Daniel Bard, the Dodgers won't even discuss Clayton Kershaw. Which is all fine, those three kids are fucking studs, and there's a chance that all three will some day win Cy Youngs.

There's also a chance, however, that all three are in a holding tank with Ryan Leaf in two years recounting how they blew out their elbows and no one gave them a second chance. If you're a second-tier club like the Pirates or the Orioles, you don't sell the farm for Halladay. You have to win through homegrown players, it's your only route to success. if you're championship-caliber, as the Phillies, Dodgers and Red Sox are, I think you have to seriously consider giving up your top two, three, or four prospects to get him. This ain't Freddy Garcia we're talking about here, this is the meanest ass-kickingest bulldog in the game. Put him on any of the aforementioned three clubs and the road to a title becomes smooth and straight. I'm not saying it guarantees a title, no one player can do that. But it makes it infinitely easier.

If I'm the Sox or the Phillies, and I just won a ring in the past 22 months, I can see backing off and protecting the depth of your organization. You won titles without Halladay and you might do so again. But the Dodgers, come on. The Cards, the (shudder) Yankees, the Angels...what are you guys doing? You get Halladay, you can start printing World Series tickets. Prospects are just that--they may pan out they may not. The Angles have hoarded their minor-league kids for years, and in my opinion it's cost them at least one additional championship. Remember Dallas McPherson. Supposed to be the top power-hitting prospect in all of baseball, now he's an usher for the Shreveport Slugs.

If Humberto and his fellow felons in the bleachers at Dodger Stadium think that a playoff rotation of Chad Billingsley, Kershaw and someone from the Kuroda/Wolf/Schmidt grab bag is going to cut it, I say good luck with that. It could happen--no one thought Cole Hamels was ready to be a postseason workhorse last year. I'm just saying that getting Halladay is worth the long-term damage to your system.

The Phillies are supposedly working up a cheaper deal for Cliff Lee, which I think is insane. Why would you give up 80 per cent of the talent you offered for Halladay for an inferior arm? Cliff Lee's a fine pitcher, and he's definitely better than Joe Blanton or Jamie Moyer or Pedro Martinez in terms of giving you a compliment to Hamels come October. But let's get serious here--championships require sacrifice.

Opposite Halladay at Safeco today is Ryan Rowland-Smith, a distant cousin to Malcolm Jamaal-Warner and Mahmoud Abdul-Raouf. If the hyphen doesn't get you the changeup will, so keep your head in and Play Ball!
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Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Tuesday Tidbits: Royal Reflection

As a sports fan, there are two things that come to mind regarding loyalty to a team. One came from a Mexican line cook I used to manage, who said this: "You can change your religion, your sex, your wife, or your family, but you can never, ever, change your team." The other is a conversation that Old No. 7 and I had a couple of years ago. It had something to do with Bill Simmons and some other guy having a conversation regarding the legitimacy of geographic ties to one's sports teams. It's a fascinating concept, and if I had the wherewithall, I'd dig up something to support it, but I don't.

Mostly because it's All-Star Tuesday, and the Kansas City Royals have a guy that actually earned a spot on the roster in Zack Greinke. He's the first to do so since Jermaine Dye in 2000. Since then, it's been Mike Sweeney and Mark Redman, and whoever else was plugged in to give the boys in blue someone at the game, and everyone else something to whine about. Whatever. I like the system the way it is, but of course earning a spot is much, much cooler. Unless, that is, said earning is all for naught, all a wash of what might just be a really, really bad baseball team.

The wife and I were out to dinner last night with her folks celebrating her dad's birthday. I can't remember exactly how, but the notion of hustle in baseball and Pete Rose came up, and my father-in-law told me about a game he attended during the 1980 World Series. He was a few rows back, first base side, when a Royal popped up in foul territory. The Philadelphia catcher called the play and the ball hit the heel of his mitt, and popped out. Luckily for him and the team, Pete Rose was right there, just in case. And you know what? Pete Rose caught that ball and registered that out. Just like a good, sound baseball player would do on any play in any game, World Series or not.

Nineteen eighty was a pretty important year in my sports life. One of the most important to date. It was the first year I remember watching professional football, the first year I watched a Super Bowl, and the Kansas City Royals went to the World Series. I don't remember any of the American League Championship games of the late 70s where the Royals fell to the Yankees in three consecutive years, but I remember 1980. I didn't know that George Brett had come ridiculously close to hitting .400, and I didn't know that Willie Wilson won a gold glove and led the league in triples, runs scored, hits, singles, plate appearances, and nearly stolen bases. I didn't know that cocaine was showering portions of the Royals roster at the time, but I did know that George's brother Ken was on the roster. I did know that they had an alarmingly chubby first baseman, I did know that they had a shortstop that would frequently take the field with a toothpick in his mouth. I did know who Larry Gura was, and everything Dan Quisenberry fascinated the shorts off of me. I also knew what the World Series was.

I'd already been given my Amos Otis jersey tee, and headed into the post-season, my 1980 Western Division Champs shirt. I'd been to Royals Stadium with my dad, I'd heard the tales of woe regarding those series with New York. I grasped the concept of how big the series was. I wouldn't be able to cherish it, however, until five years later. Game six, Denkinger call and all, was electric. People drove around the city honking like mad for hours. For game seven, we'd acquired a St. Louis Cardinals 1985 World Series Champions baseball cap. There were seven of us in the room, and we agreed, before the first pitch, to stomp on that cap for every Royal run scored. Even stomp number 77 felt good.

In the grand scheme of things, 1980 was important because the Royals had gotten over the hump. They'd made the big stage. We were still a few years away from winning it, and now, 29 years later, I've been at the World Series Champion parade. I've experienced two Kansas Jayhawk basketball championships, and I've felt nearly every emotion in the book when it comes to Chiefs football. Nearly.

I also moved away from Kansas City for seven years, a (mostly) pre-Internet era where I followed my Chiefs and my Jayhawks as closely as one could from a distance, but after high school, baseball and I drifted far from one another. When I returned, I was happy to renew my relationship with the team as a fan. It didn't really occur to me immediately just how bad the Royals had been in my absence (1993-2000), but I quickly learned. And I quickly grew to hate these new (to me) owners of the franchise that were clearly to blame -- along with the league and its lack of salary cap -- for the team's woes. I quickly grew to hate Tony Muser, and, I quickly fell in love with Carlos Beltran. And 2003 made things great again. Tony Pena was in as manager, and the Royals looked like they could contend. They fizzled in August and September, but they finished above .500 for the first time in a decade. Nosotros Creemos (we believe) and Juntos Podemos (together we can) were the mottos of Pena's clubs.

Pena was quickly gone, and the return to losing came back fast. For what feels like an eternity, there was only one thing to cling to: Mike Sweeney. Why? Well, because he seemed like an awesome dude. From 1999-2005, Sweeney hit .300 or better five times. The two seasons he didn't (.293 in '03 and .287 in '04) were still respectable. And he was it. There was nothing else. Pitching was atrocious. A joke. An actual, legitimate league laughing stock. Everyone else, both at the plate and in the field, was, as the saying goes, a minor-league player. In hindsight, it makes sense that Sweeney was hurt as often as he was; it was symbolic of a franchise that was hurting.

That's why, when Allard Baird was fired and Dayton Moore was hired, I felt rejuvenated, like a return to some barely remembered form of glory had been instilled in Kansas City baseball. We're three years from that point now, and I'm not sure what to feel. I almost feel more lost than I did when my fandom clung to the likes of Mike Sweeney.

A lot of this has to do with the fact that I watch more Royals baseball than I ever have in my life. They've played 78 games to date and I've probably seen or listened to significant portions of 60 of them. When you do that, every error, every loss, and every reminder of what good baseball teams look like hurt even more. The other aspect to that is that we, as baseball fans, have the luxury of reading blogs like Joe Posnanski's and Rany Jazayerli's. I've mentioned/linked to their work with some consistency lately because they are, in my mind, experts. They're the kind of expert I admire and don't want to be at the same time, but they're incredibly important. I'm not interested in crunching numbers like VORP and BABIP, etc., but I'm glad that they do. It gives perspective.

As a bigger-than-casual, lesser-than-expert fan, I can figure out for myself that the Royals are two games worse this year than they were last year at the All-Star break. I can also figure out that they are still not in last place in the A.L. Central. Further, I can recognize that being 14 games under .500 and 11 and-a-half out of first is not the end of the world; there's still at least another quarter season until that moment arrives. Adding to that, I am capable of seeing the divisional picture that says that the Central is really not that good this year. Detroit is playing great baseball. That's it. I can also acknowledge that injuries to Coco Crisp, Mike Aviles, Joakim Soria, Alex Gordon, and John Buck are significant to this team, even if, in the big MLB picture, those players aren't the proverbial cream of the crop. For Moore's plan to slowly build the team to a winner, they are important. Finally, I am also aware that not hitting for scarcely any power whatsoever is probably not what the front office had in mind when they planned for 2009.

When news of the Yuniesky Betancourt deal hit the news waves, on Friday, however, the move was so completely slandered by anyone and everybody in baseball, that I became afraid for that rejuvenation I felt three years ago. And now, having had the time to read what both Posnanski (here and here) and Jazayerli (here) have written about the deal, I have been left naked in the cold storm, trying to understand what my relationship to this team is really about.

Last week, in this post, the main thing I felt was summed up in Jazayerli's line that said "The ultimate goal of this blog is for the Royals to win." It was a Eureka! moment, if you will. This morning, however, having read his take on the Betancourt trade, I am completely lost on what to make of things. I strongly encourage you to read the entire post if you haven't yet, but in case you're not interested, the nuts and bolts, to me, begin and end with his defintion of signature significance:

"(T)he notion that sometimes things can happen in a small sample size that are so extraordinary that you learn a lot about the quality of a player from that small sample. The example I use a lot is the pitcher with the 15-strikeout game; it’s just one game, and the pitcher might not even win the game, but the performance is so extraordinary that it’s almost impossible that a mediocre pitcher could duplicate it.

The Betancourt trade reaches the level of signature significance in my eyes, but in reverse. It’s just one trade, and if Cortes doesn’t pan out it’s possible that the only thing this trade will cost the Royals is some money and some opportunity. But this trade is so utterly indefensible, and the thought process that led to this trade is so utterly diseased, that I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that this one trade is prima facie evidence that Dayton Moore can not be a successful GM."


There are about a dozen things from that post that I could discuss, like the immaculate speechlessness I felt for what felt like five years after the Neifi Perez for Jermaine Dye trade. That trade made me feel like Job from the bible, wherein years of servitude and dedication as a fan are tested and tortured for the sole purpose of seeing if your faith is strong. Luckily, that test was only 194 games long. What came next, however, was a test of faith that no biblical figure ever withstood: Angel Berroa. For 629 games, Berroa caused my entrails to rot, my teeth to grit, and my road rage to flourish. This, of course, is unfair, because in 2003 (158 games) he was the A.L. Rookie of the Year, but for what literally felt like 10 years, this guy would swing at pitches -- pitches that occasionally resembled intentional-walk-type pitches -- at-bat after at-bat after at-bat.

And finally, he was gone. Sure, he played 84 games for the Dodgers in 2008 and has logged 24 for the Yankees this year. I don't care one iota. I don't care if he wins 12 championships, nine gold gloves and goes directly to Cooperstown without passing Go. He is off my team, and I am happy. Sort of.

See, Jazayerli is saying that the Betancourt trade is eons worse than anything a human could utter with Perez and Berroa in the same sentence, the same prepositional phrase even. And that, is a pill so bitter, that I'd have trouble swallowing it if there was a million dollars attached to it. Honestly.

So, what then, do we make of this trade? Well, Aviles won't even be recovered in time for the start of 2010. His career as a Royal may be done. I hate Tony Pena, Jr.'s bat just like everyone else, but I don't hate Tony Pena, Jr. with the same venom I loathed Perez and wanted to actually murder front-office folk for keeping Berroa around as long as they did. And this Luis Hernandez kid? He was nothing shy of awful. As Posnanski points out, there is no one in the entire system capable of playing shortstop. Old No. 7 asked me last night about Mike Moustakas. I don't know what the plan with the dude is. Honest.

I do know this: You could not possibly continue for the rest of 2009 without decent shortstop. Frankly, I'm with Jazayerli when he says to let Willie Bloomquist play the rest of the year at short. There's no mistaking that he's, to this point, the 2009 MVP of the club. Play him at short, keep DeJesus/Maier/Guillen as your outfield crew -- unless you put Teahen back in right when Gordon comes back, which you don't because Guillen can't play left -- and chalk 2009 up as another season spent while trying to develop the farm system. You don't want to ruin young talent by forcing them up sooner than they are ready, which was, in my opinion, one of the many flaws of the Baird system.

Ultimately, I take what Jazayerli says pretty seriously. Am I ready to say that this trade means that Moore won't cut it as a General Manager? No. I'm not. Not yet. I am, however, extremely worried that Moore continues to do something that the Kansas City Chiefs regime under Carl Peterson did for two decades, and that's moves of the the good-ol'-boy variety. By that, I mean, you do business (and often times most of it) with dudes you know for dudes you know, or in some form similar to that. I don't know who Moore knows in Seattle, but he's now gotten Gil Meche, Jose Guillen, Willie Bloomquist, and Yuniesky Betancourt from that team. He's also paid them -- the players -- a lot of money. His dealings with Atlanta are similar, and you could argue that the deal for Jacobs with Florida falls in the same category because they're National League and right up the street.

So at this point, my faith is being tested again. The faith that Moore is doing something beyond the line of sight, something in the farm system to make this team better in a few years. The critics, the writers that I respect, don't see it. I'm hoping that they're wrong, because I'd just swapped my losers-for-life wardrobe for something new, fresh, and flashy, something with The New K embroidered all over it. Suddenly, I'm afraid that the whole lot has mothballs.
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Friday, April 3, 2009

Lineup Against the Wall: Los Marineros de Seattle

Usually, when I hear "La Bamba," I don't think about Seattle baseball, but with regards to the club's 2008 campaign, I imagine a lot of MLBers took secret pride in thinking to themselves Yo no soy marinero. Seattle's American League-worst record last year -- they finished 61-101, with only Washington in the NL (59-102) doing worse -- was something of a feat in that division-winning Los Angeles, with their 100 wins created the biggest gap in record between first and last place in a division in all of baseball. Needless to say, the Mariners have their work cut out for them this year, and -- yep, you guessed it -- we'll examine what tools they'll use in an effort to improve in 2009, just after the jump.

When the Mariners take the field Monday in Minnesota, I hope for their sake that their skipper Don Wakamatsu has something up his sleeve when he pencils in the lineup, because from down here in my mom's basement, it doesn't look so hot:

1) RF Ichiro Suzuki 15-day DL with a bleeding ulcer. Ouch. Wladimir Balentien likely gets the nod in Suzuki's spot.
2) SS Yuniesky Betancourt
3) 3B Adrian Beltre
4) DH Ken Griffey, Jr.
5) 1B Russell Branyan
6) CF Franklin Gutierrez
7) LF Endy Chavez
8) 2B Jose Lopez
9) C Kenji Johjima

Now, maybe you swap Betancourt and Gutierrez, or perhaps you plug Lopez in higher up, say in Branyan's spot, but given that there's minimal speed on this team, especially with an injured Suzuki, and you never can tell how long Griff'll be healthy, there's automatically a trickier science involved when you attempt to get Mariners in scoring position, then actually advance them. Yes, you have a couple of bats that'll get you 20+ long balls, but the rest of the guys are sub-par at best. And then there's Johjima, who's just awful. So logic would suggest that you lean heavily on your pitching to keep you in games, which is fine, except when your starting rotation looks like this:

1) Felix Hernandez
2) Erik Bedard
3) Carlos Silva
4) Jarrod Washburn
5) Ryan Rowland-Smith

Now, the pro in that squad is that there's two lefties. The con is that they're all coming off of pretty rotten seasons. They had a combined 29 wins among the five. Combined. Their E.R.A. averaged out to 4.32, and not a one of them had a particularly staggering Ks-BBs ratio. Hernandez did fan 175 batters, but Bedard didn't even scrape the surface of what he accomplished in '07, and in all honesty, Ryan Rowland-Smith has just as good a shot as any of those cats at having the best year from the mound, and he's a bullpen promotee.

Speaking of the 'pen, I can think of two words to describe it: young and bad. So, if you can piecemeal some decent starts, and hope to God that your crappy middle relievers can keep you in the game, at least you have your closer. Unless his name is J.J. Putz, who's now cashing checks from the New York Mets. And in the vein of acquisitions, Seattles suits did very little. Yes, they got Griffey back, and true, Gutierrez and Branyan are new to town, but that ain't gonna get you any sympathy wins.

I'd like to say I see a silver lining in this Seattle club, but it ain't there. As a Royals fan, I never want to heap consecutive-100-loss-seasons on a team as a prediction, but I don't see any way around it for these guys. In fact, they might even lose more than last year.
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Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Baseball In The Daytime: 8-27-08

A trio of day games are perched on today's MLB slate, but the bigger news is out of the bag: Instant replay starts tomorrow. That's right, tomorrow. Not at the start of next year. Not with a trial period in Double-A or the Instructional League. Today's games will be the last wholly governed by humans, and tomorrow we deputize the machines for assistance.

Look, I'm not anti-replay. I like technology. Like Reggie White once said, give the Japanese a toaster and they'll give you a watch. And I like getting calls right, and I hate dismissing good ideas in the name of asinine traditions. But who, other than the Clinton wing of the Democratic Party, tries to change rules in the middle of a season? How is that possibly a good idea? How is it that umpires, who don't like this adjustment and who weren't consulted in its implementation, will manage replay with any sort of skill on the fly? How will they not botch more calls now than with the old system?

I predict that this season is fucked on this front. This will affect the pennant race and this will affect the playoffs. At this point I don't know the specifics of this change--once I get filled in I'm sure I'll have many more thoughts. But for now, Bud, this overreaction gets a fat thumbs down from this fan. On to the games...

Chicago Cubs @ Pittsburgh, 10:35 Mountain I don't know what the weather's going to be like in the Steel City today, but let's assume the forecast calls for glorious. If you're in Western PA, you can make your way downtown and to PNC Park to take in a matinee against the first-place Cubs. You can shell out twenty bucks (what the average Pittsburgher clears in a week) for a seat and twenty more for some peanuts, Cracker Jack and a brew. You can sit in the sunshine and watch the game languidly unfold before you. And then you can realize that you are in Pittsburgh and you have more than a fourth grade education, and you can get the fuck out of there before the dumb and the fat infect you. Jason Marquis and Zach Duke are your starters.

Arizona @ San Diego, 1:35 On the other hand, if you live in San Diego, you can fuck off. Seriously. No one likes you. D'Bags starter Randy Johnson doesn't like you, although he's pretty grouchy with everyone. Padres pitcher Cha Seung Baek doesn't like you--he'll only live in your fair city for a few more weeks before being shipped to yet another club. I don't like you. Brian Giles likes you, but only because he's so enthralled by your beautiful city he refuses to play anywhere else. Go to hell, San Diego.

Minnesota @ Seattle, 2:40 The AL Central has just turned into a God damned dogfight. Daily hand-to-hand combat. With Detroit's complete implosion, only the Twins and the White Sox are left standing, and Chicago's fine play of late leaves them two games free as of press time. Minnesota tries to stay close with Glen Perkins on the Safeco mound today opposite Ryan Feierabend. Seattle is still playing hard, for one reason and one reason only. They're on pace to be the first team ever to lose 100 games with a payroll in excess of $100 million. You can do it, Mariners. 82 down, 18 to go. Stay strong and resolute in your commitment to losing, and Play Ball!
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Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Baseball In The Daytime: 8-20-08

I know the Dodgers don't play this afternoon--they're scheduled to face the Rockies tonight at Chavez Ravine. I still want to use this space to bash Jeff Kent.

Jeff Kent is one of the finest second basemen ever to play this game. Go ahead, look up his numbers. Few at his position have ever hit like he has. Unfortunately, Jeff Kent is also a huge giant piece of shit as a person. This goes far beyond his moustache, which is actually pretty awesome. No, Kent's doucheness is acute and long-lasting. It's pretty hard to have a feud with Barry Bonds and have folks take Barry's side, but that's Jeff Kent. Bigger fuckstick than Barry Bonds.

Jeff Kent once wrecked his motorcycle in the offseason, which is a bad enough deal for a ballplayer. The bigger problem was that Kent had recently signed an enormous contract, a contract that specifically forbade him from riding motorcycles. Faced with the prospect of voiding the contract and losing millions, Kent did what any dipshit asshole would do, he lied and said he broke his leg whilst washing his truck. Which is totally probable. Jeff Kent does not like it when I go to games and yell at him, asking him how clean his truck is. But fuck him.

I could go on and on about how shitty a teammate Jeff Kent is, how he has singlehandedly tried to ruin the impressive youth movement the Dodgers are in the midst of, how he got Grady Little fired (actually a plus), and how in his spare time he adopts cats and then drowns them in his hot tub. I'll let that go, because that moustache is pretty awesome.

But this I can't let stand. Now Jeff Kent has committed an even greater sin upon the dignity of the game of baseball. Since the Dodgers acquired Manny Ramirez, merely one of the 20 best hitters ever to hold a bat, Kent has been killing it. One could draw the logical conclusion that Kent, hitting in the prime spot directly in front of Manny, is seeing great pitches and capitalizing on them. No way, says Jeff Kent. Totally unrelated, fuck you and fuck Manny. Or something to that effect. Which is all fine, because everyone knows Jeff Kent is a world class dick. Not content with that, Kent went on and impugned the integrity of Vin Scully, who discussed the connection of Kent's hot streak to Manny's arrival on air.

Jeff Kent criticized Saint Vincent. This can not stand. I've never asked anything of Dodger fans, a species that is below earwigs in my book. But tonight, I implore you, let Jeff Kent have it. With twenty thousand voices, ask him how clean his truck is. Boo his sorry ass. And while I never condone such actions, if someone throws a battery at him I'll smile, on the inside. Don't let us down, Humberto.

Oakland @ Minnesota, 11:10 Mountain While the Twins try to hang with the White Sox in the race for the AL Central flag, the A's are on cruise control to nowhere. You mean trading away our three best pitchers is a bad thing? Shit! Left behind after the purge in Oakland is young Dallas Braden, who'll match wits with Fransico Liriano at the Hube.

Seattle @ Chicago White Sox, 12:05 In another matchup pitting Central contender vs. Western loser, the Mariners take on the Pale Hose at U.S. Cellular. Somehow this season R.A. Dickey made his way from the Rangers to the M's, I'll go ahead and say that's the least important trade of the year. R.A. starts for Seattle, while Gavin Floyd takes the ball for the home team.

Houston @ Milwaukee, 12:05 The Astros have been hot lately, and in fact were the focus of a section-front story in USA Today yesterday concerning their playoff hopes. Playoffs? Cecil hates it when I cite McPaper, but I'll always counter that the multicolored fishwrap is no less accurate than the New York Times. On a dissimilar note, how does a grown man end up with the name Wandy? That's the handle of Houston starter Wandy Rodriguez, who today battles Manny Parra and the Brewers. Play Ball!
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Friday, July 18, 2008

Midseason Baseball Report: AL West

This is the House of Georges, and this is the HoG’s Midseason Baseball Report. In it we’ll examine each of baseball’s six divisions with a fan of a team in that division.

Today’s selection is the American League West, and our divisional expert is Blanche Feverpiss, fearless commenter and rising star on the series of tubes. Blanche is dedicated to two causes: decreasing the size of the federal government and the majestic glory of Angels baseball, regardless of from what geographical location those Angels hail (today is is Los Angeles of Anaheim). He's also my cousin.


Old No. 7: At the break, the Angels check in with a 57-38 record, first in the AL West and in fact the finest mark in all of baseball. You're six games clear of the pesky A's, and you're the only team in the AL with a winning road record (an unbelievable 31-18 away from the rats of the Big A). Explain this road dominance, whether you think it can continue, and if you think it can translate to big success in the postseason should you get there.

Blanche Feverpiss: The only way I can explain the road dominance is good pitching and plenty of luck. Our Pythagorean is something around +7 so yes, we are one hell of a lucky ball club! I would understand why a team with a shitty home field (like Fenway) would have a great road record (anything to get away from those asshole fans!). Our home field, however, is filled with knowledgeable fans and a winning tradition. Plus, the rock pile in center field exudes history and baseball lore. Michael Eisner, then CEO of Disney, said that the rock pile was an exact replica of one of Mordecai "Three Finger" Brown's post-game dumps.

O#7: OK, I may have to give up my Sabermetrician's card for asking this, but explain Pythagorean to me. I forget.

Feverpiss: The Wikipedia explains it pretty simply:

"Pythagorean expectation is a formula invented by Bill James to estimate how many games a baseball team "should" have won based on the number of runs they scored and allowed. Comparing a team's actual and Pythagorean winning percentage can be used to evaluate how lucky that team was (by examining the variation between the two winning percentages). The term is derived from the formula's resemblance to the Pythagorean theorem.

The basic formula is where Win% is the winning percentage generated by the formula. The expected number of wins would be the expected winning percentage multiplied by the number of games played."

In layman's, it's a formula created by math geeks that fairly accurately predicts a teams expected win/loss record via previous results based on runs scored/runs allowed. According to the Angels' P-Thag, they are playing over their collective heads.

O#7: This is a team built on pitching. John Lackey's return from the DL has fortified the rotation, but the real story is the rejuvenation of Ervin Santana's magic and the emergence of Joe Saunders. The bullpen seems fine, as Francisco Rodriguez is on pace for a record 59 saves, but digging a little deeper reveals that your relief ERA is only 11th in the AL (4.07) compared with the starter mark of 3.75 and an overall 3.84 (good for 3rd and 6th in the league respectively). What's the state of your pitching staff, and what worries you for the second half?

Feverpiss: Injuries are always a worry. Same could be said for any team though. I also tend to worry about Jared Weaver's fragile ego. That guy looks like he's going to start crying after he gives up a home run. The bullpen has been weaker this season compared with other seasons past. Not having Donnelly in there to rub down the balls with pine tar hurts. Frankie may break the record for saves this year, but he gives me pyrosis every time he toes the slab. Since you brought up Santana; I think the main reason for his re-emergence has been his ability to keep his "lifestyle" "closeted". Not that there's anything wrong with that.

O#7: You've been implying that Santana flies the rainbow flag for some time now. What's the big gay bar in Orange County?

Feverpiss: The Boom Boom Room was a famous gay bar in Laguna Beach for many decades. They closed down last year I believe. The Orange County Register had this week long tribute with all kinds of stories about dudes that met their life partner or something. A sad chapter for those fellows who like the dudes. Not implying anything, but it happened to coincide with Santana's worst year of his career. Coincidence?

O#7: What's the status of Kelvim Escobar? Can you count on him at all this season?

Feverpiss: Kelvim has been throwing the ball in Tempe all season. He's encountered set backs, but also shown that he may be able to make it back this season. It's frustrating, because when they found a tear in his shoulder, he stated that he'd just retire rather then rehab a surgery. That being said, I wouldn't count on him this season, unless it's a relief role. Don't get me wrong though, he'd be great out of the bully. The guy has great command of about 5 pitches. Late in a tight ballgame, I'd love the option of bringing him out of the pen.

O#7: Good point. Escobar was once a very effective reliever for the Blue Jays, but he also beat his woman in Toronto. You win some, you lose some.

Feverpiss: You know all the wife beating gossip. You are the baseball equivalent to Perez Hilton or something. Pedroia is your Lindsay Lohan, and Youkilis is your Brittney spears. I guess Francona is Madonna.

O#7: All that pitching however, contrasts with the standard lack of offense. Last season at this time you glossed over the Angels' diminutive power numbers by advertising the glory of Scosciaball--bunting, stealing, hustling, hitting and running, going first to third, doing the little things. The purist in me loves these aspects of the game, but I also know that the easiest way to put runs on the board is via the home run, and the second easiest way is to clog up the bases with runners and then get hits. By any measure the O is struggling: 11th in runs scored, 9th in homers, 12th in on-base percentage. You are 3rd in steals, which is nice, but unless you're stealing home you still have to find ways to drive those guys in. What are your feelings on the offense?

Feverpiss: Scosciaball works marvelously when it is accompanied by a three run dinger now and again. We had that glorious combo in 2002. This year, not so much. Scrape, hustle, scratch, claw, and glory hole your way on base, then let a monster like Vlad knock you in with a blast. Well, Vlad isn't hitting as well this season, and our hitting with runners in scoring position has been flaccid. The truth is, I'd love to rent a big bat for the remainder of the year (maybe sign to a long term deal?). Holliday and Teixeria have been rumored. Unfortunately, I can't see that happening. It's not like us. Typical response from management goes something like "We've got the bats we need, it's just a question of when they'll start hitting". Poppycock. Hunter was a good pick up but he's not a power bat. Gary Matthews Jr. is afraid of the ball, and Garrett Anderson is clearly declining. Sure, if our pitching and defense can keep games close we will have a good chance at winning, but the extra insurance of a big bat protecting Vlad would be reassuring.

O#7: I noticed that the Angels have hit the most grounders and the fewest fly balls in baseball. What gives?

Feverpiss: The result of a "contact hitting" philosophy? Truth is, (hitting coach) Mickey Hatcher has a net pulled over the infield for batting practice. It is suspended 15' above the field. The players play a game: if the ball hits the net you are fined $50. It's supposed to produce line drives, because if the ball doesn't touch the infield you win $50. I guess the wrong habits are being encouraged.

O#7: Now you and I have gone back and forth for many years on the reluctance of the Angels to part with prospects for established players. It's my feeling that this hesitation has cost you at least one more championship since 2002. Do you think this is the year you make a deadline deal for a bat? Does the organization feel that this year, a year that does not see a dominant American League club, might justify bending the rules a little?

Feverpiss: Oh, I thought we just talked about this. Um, let's see... We need a bat. Management probably won't part with prospects. I'd be pleasantly surprised if we made a big trade for offense by the trading deadline.

O#7: Now let's run around the division. The A's are once again contending after supposedly gutting their team in the off season by trading away Dan Haren and Nick Swisher. They lead the league in many pitching categories, but they just dealt another ace in Rich Harden. Can they hang around?

Feverpiss: I can't see the A's being a threat sans Harden. They are definitely a pesky team though. I hate playing them because their pitching is always tough on us and we both have weak hitters.

O#7: The success of the A's doesn't really surprise me, but the fact that the Rangers have a winning record does. I thought they'd be much, much more awful. They can't pitch for shit, of course, but the Josh Hamilton-led offense is hands down the best in baseball. Does Texas scare an Angels fan at all?

Feverpiss: The Rangers are scary for their spoil factor. They don't have the pitching to hang around the top of the division, however they have the offense that can knock a team around and rattle the playoff order. We have flirted with the best record in baseball all season. I'd hate to lose home field in the playoffs because of a bad series in Arlington. Fuck George Bush.

O#7: Finally, we have the miserable Mariners. After exceeding expectations last year they've shit the bed this season and are 20 games out. Do you see anything on their team that could hinder your playoff hopes? Or should Seattle fans settle in for a few years of suck?

Feverpiss: I love that saying "shit the bed". I've shit my bed twice. One time, my girlfriend was sleeping next to me. I tried to pull the fitted sheet off like a magician pulls off a table cloth and leaves the plates and silverware. Needless to say, she woke up.

Seattle should trade off the vets and rebuild. Use Tampa and the Marlins as examples. Hell, follow the A's model. Whatever they do, they shouldn't pay any attention to the Royals (no offense Roy F. Almania).

That was a pretty weak line a while back about buying a home to help out the economy.

O#7: It's clear that I worded that sentence poorly, since I've caught quite a bit of shit for it. I wasn't advocating a home purchase as a means of economic stimulus for the U.S. I was saying that widespread home ownership is healthy for our economy. Since we as a nation no longer save, the easiest way for families to put away money for a rainy day is to accumulate equity in their homes. Now this is not a solution for everyone--in some areas the cost of real estate makes it more sensible to rent. New York and San Francisco fall into this category, and I understand Southern California has some pricey digs as well.

But the last thing I want to do is to get into a mortgage debate with Blanche Feverpiss, lending Machiavelli. How will Bob Barr affect this race?

Feverpiss: I agree, let's not urinate on each other. Let's agree on this: most Americans do not save enough. Let's disagree that "the easiest way for families to put away money for a rainy day is to accumulate equity in their homes". The last housing bubble proved that today's Americans don't "save" their equity! They collectively use their home as an ATM card. Refi, refi, refi, 30 day late, 60 day late, 90 day late, notice of default.

Bob Barr will not affect the outcome of the 2008 presidential election. Support for Barr/Root will, however, get under the grey, wrinkled skin of John McCain and the rest of the neo-cons who think they can bomb us to world peace and use the FED to print dollars with wild abandon. Bob Barr is not the perfect candidate by any means. He voted for many, many unjust and unconstitutional laws while a congressman. My opinion is that we should do whatever we can to ensure the neo-cons do not retain power. They need to be purged. I know Cecil is a staunch supporter of the Limbaugh/Hannity/O'Reilly faction. To this, I say you are wrong sir. Wrecking our economy with unconstitutional foreign war (paid for by the Chinese), debasing our currency via the Federal Reserve, and taking a massive wrecking ball to what is left via government bail outs should not go unpunished. I don't agree with Obama on many issues, however I wish there were more of him right now, and they would all unseat every Republican in the House and Senate (and White House) except Ron Paul and Chuck Hagel.

O#7: I'm not saying that Barr will draw much support nationally, I'd be shocked if he picked up more than 2 or 3 per cent of the popular vote. But he's polling higher than that in a few battleground states--6% in his native Georgia, 8% in my state of Colorado, 9% in Nevada. Those totals obviously come out of voters that McCain needs, and Nader is not draining similar numbers from Obama. If that holds up, he will affect the race even if he draws fewer than 2 million votes nationwide.

What I'm asking is, will it hold up or is it a temporary phenomenon? Are there broad numbers of libertarian/conservative voters in key states in this country that are, like you, fed up with the current state of the Republican party and willing to forsake the Republican candidate--even if they know that it will hand the election to someone who's far to their left? You've talked about voting for Obama anyway, but you don't get hung up on all this social/religious nonsense that some conservatives do. I also think that you recognize that while Obama is pretty liberal, he has the capacity for fiscal responsibility and common sense.

Feverpiss: Righty-O. I must rephrase my original statement. Bob Barr will not affect the 2008 presidential election the way Nader affected the 2004 race (or the way Buchanan affected the 2000 race!). Bob Barr may pull conservatives away from McCain in swing states, but I don't think national polling numbers are correct at this point. I believe Barr's numbers are higher than reality, and I think Obama will crush McCain in Colorado and Nevada anyway. My hope is that Barr's "popularity" will hold up, because I believe he has an important message that needs to get out to the average citizen. We are all so brainwashed by the mainstream media, most people don't even know that its OK to disagree with BOTH parties. Fox News, MSNBC, and CNN try to divide the public into two groups, when the real America is actually many different groups of political thought.

Obama does have the capacity for fiscal responsibility and common sense. He also has the capacity for the old school mentality of one of his heroes- FDR. FDR believed that the way out of a depression was government intervention and spending. With my opinion that we are headed toward a catastrophic depression many times worse than the 1930's, the Democrat's tendency toward government intervention frightens the shit out of me. This is why I am such a strong supporter of Ron Paul. Let's face it, I could care less about abortion or the death penalty. I don't care if there is prayer in school or dildos in sex education. I care about my money, my family's welfare, and my son's future. I don't want him to die in a war, and I don't want to live under a bridge with cardboard scraps and newspaper for blankets. If we could rid ourselves of the "world's police" moniker, cast away the federal income tax, abolish the Federal Reserve (and central banking/ fractional reserve banking), I believe we would be in better economic shape. But see, this is less government, not what I believe both candidates want- more government.

What do the politicians do when banks like IndyMac collapse? They blame the Wall Street Execs and the speculators. Why not blame themselves for setting up this ponzi scheme? Why don't they blame the idiot homeowners for overextending themselves? Same shit applies to oil, but I know you want to keep this short. Maybe oil will be the topic of the inaugural post on www.houseofblanches.blogspot.com

Here's a few questions:

Who was worse, George Bush II or Woodrow Wilson? GWB gave us the Patriot Act, Afghanistan, Iraq, and much, much more. WW gave us the Federal Reserve, the Income tax, drug prohibition, the first draft, ignored the demobilization of Germany after the war, the segregation of the Federal Government, and promoted our unnecessary involvement in WWI which led to WWII. They both loved baseball though!

O#7: I think it's a little early to assess the historical significance of Bush. We'll have to see what finally happens with democracy in the Middle East, the war on terror, the impact of his expansion of government (specifically the Department of Homeland Security but also the prescription drug entitlement and others), No Child Left Behind, and his appointments to the judiciary. I'm also curious to see how future presidents handle his doctrine on preemptive military action and his aggressive annexation of power for the executive at the expense of other branches. It's easy to say that Bush is the worst president ever, but a closer examination in twenty years may reveal that he's the worst leader in the history of humankind.

Feverpiss: Any way you slice it, it is not our "moral responsibility" to spread democracy or any of those other sound bites. That said, I'll go with Woodrow Wilson as the worst president ever. That guy sucked. Pick your most hated college professor and make him president- that was Woodrow Wilson.

What are your feelings on the FED bailout of Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac? I despise Socialism, so you can imagine how angry I am. Do you think it's our government's duty to help struggling lenders during these hard times? Shouldn't the old phrase "you reap what you sow" play out here?

O#7: Once again your expertise in the financial sector swamps me, just as my skills in the arena of fantasy baseball dwarf yours. I've always thought that Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac were somewhat propped up by the federal government from the get-go, kind of like how we subsidize the supposedly self-sufficient operation of Amtrak. Help me out--are the two institutions completely private?

Feverpiss: They were government institutions until Nixon set them off into the private sector. They do get special treatment however. We are seeing that right now. While other publicly traded institutions have legal obligations to report earnings (10ks, etc.), Fannie and Freddie fall exempt from these types of "rules". Fannie and Freddie are currently borrowing money (Bernanke effectively turned on the printing press) at a rate of 2.5% from the FED. If you factor in inflation- F&F are borrowing at negative interest. Socialism comrades!

By the way- If I didn't have half my team on the disabled list last week, I would have beaten you.

One more: why is the government involved in our banking? Next thing you know, they'll be forcing me to contribute to some massive, socialistic retirement fund. Oh wait...
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Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Baseball In The Daytime: 6-11-08

I'll keep this one brief. There are a lot of basebally things I'd like to get to later today, including more about the hairy gap-toothed caveman you see down the page and a modest proposal to save the entire fucking sport. Stay tuned.

For now, though, please take in the pair of games on today's agenda as well as an update on the contest America can't get enough of: Bankmeister v. Old No. 7 in head to head fantasy baseball...

Seattle @ Toronto, 10:37 Mountain I'm not going to go on another tirade over Canadia's weird start times and further desecration of America's national game. My feelings are well known. Let's just say that on the carpet of the Rogers Center today you'll see a couple pretty fine starting pitchers. Shaun Marcum goes for the home whites, and is quietly assembling a tremendous year--2.52 ERA and 0.97 WHIP thus far. His opponent in road grays no longer goes by King Felix very often, but Hernandez is still capable of dominating--witness his 3.07 ERA. What's troubling to me is that he's only striking out 7.5 per nine, a dandy number for most pitchers but pedestrian when you see his effortless heat and knee-buckling junk.

Tampa @ Los Anaheim, 1:35 Heading out to the West Coast, the pitching gets even better. Today's matinee in Orange County sees John Lackey host Scott Kazmir in a tussle of staff aces. Both these teams hoard speed, and both subscribe to the Mike Scoscia school of using it--Bay-Rays skipper Joe Maddon was once Scoscia's bench coach. Watch those basepaths turn into a track meet.

The Alex Gordon Experiment Express v. Making Noises For Moises Banky's been asking for a breakdown of this dustup all week, and I'm more than happy to oblige. At press time my Moises squad held an 11-3 edge in this 7x7 format. Sure, it's early in the week, but few knowledgeable observers see much changing here. I send five, count 'em, five starters to the hill today, which could potentially give me the edge in my three weak categories: strikeouts, ERA and on-base-against. My offense is coming around lately, and the recent returns of Vernon Wells and Matt Holliday from injury will only add to Bank's woes.

On the plus side, Bank did trade Roy Oswalt earlier in the season for a bag of peanuts and a few spare Vespa parts, and Roy turned in a nice 10-K, 1 ER gem last night. Good times, and Play Ball!
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Thursday, May 22, 2008

Baseball In The Daytime: 5-22-08

It's Thursday, and Thursday is Cecil Day at the HoG. Your intrepid chronicler of vintage wartime propaganda posters and the workout habits of 22-year-old men will check in at some point today to regale you with tales of sporting might. Until then you're stuck with me and my rampant homerism for all things Red Soxy. Sorry!

I'm still a bit hung over from last night's intoxicating debut--the Fat Man is back. B.F. Bartolo Colon took the Fenway mound for the first time as a member of the Olde Towne Team(e?) and...didn't really suck. He hurled five innings of effective work, gave up but a pair of runs, and led the Sox to their sixth straight win. And he was his measty, sweaty, rotund self while doing it--God it's good to have Bartolo back in the big leagues.

Those Red Sox and Royals finish off their series today, and that tilt is joined by two other games on the afternoon docket--enjoy, after the jump...

Seattle @ Detroit, 11:05 Mountain You've heard before about the Old Man, the crotchety curmudgeon that occupies a spot in our fantasy baseball league. Our message board is chock full of his nonsensical rants and awful punctuation, and a few weeks back he unfurled his latest insane theory--that his selection of Miguel Batista in the 22nd round was superior to mine, a kid named Jon Lester. How's that workin' out for ya, Old Man? Batista makes a start today against Jeremy Bonderman and the woeful Tigers, and if he throws a no-hitter I'll take it all back. I'm not expecting to take any of it back.

Texas @ Minnesota, 11:10 Continuing our theme of once-nasty pitchers who are now just holding on to their paychecks, this contest gives us Vincente Padilla versus Livan Hernandez. Padilla I'll always remember as the final pitcher in the infamous tied All-Star Game. That's right, Vincente Padilla was once an All-Star! And as for Livan, my lasting recollection of him will forever be the NLCS contest back in 1997 when Eric Gregg gave him a strike zone wider than, well, Eric Gregg. He struck out 15 on that night against the Braves, but at least half of those Ks were on pitches that barely made it inside the batter's box, much less to the black of the plate. I hope Livan sent Gregg a share of his playoff loot.

Kansas City @ Boston, 11:35 The Royals attempt to avoid getting swept (why do I feel like I've written that sentence a few times in the past?) today at Fenway. They send Brian Bannister to the hill, which is a shrewd move. You see, Bannister is a mortal pitcher at night (0-5, 8.13 ERA). But let him out for a little Baseball In The Daytime, and you get a superhuman pitching wolverine with jet-pack turboboosters and laser-beam eye sockets (4-0, 0.62). Joe Posnanski, who's developed an affinity for Bannister that borders on how Michael Jackson feels about fourth-graders, documents every start with his BannyLog. If anyone can get to the bottom of these crazy day-night splits, it's JoePo.

For even more insightful KC-Boston dissection, look no further than this very web site, the occasional home of the absolutely indispensable Roy F. Almania. Roy took us inside Tuesday's matchup, particularly Billy Butler's pivotal at-bat against Jonathan Papelbon. Now during last night's game, NESN's Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy pored over this same at-bat, pointing out the fact that Pap went to a slide piece to finish off Butler--and apparently he never throws that pitch in that situation. It's nice to know that the homespun wisdom of ol' Roy can occasionally trump the city-slicker hot air of the mainstream press. That's baseball--the people's game. Play Ball!
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Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Baseball In The Daytime: 5-14-08

We're going to stretch it out a bit today, like a long reliever who's getting shelled that the manager just leaves in. Takin' one for the team. Savin' the 'pen. Eatin' up the innin's. Please, just stop with the colloquialisms.

After the jump, along with the usual day baseball schedule, we'll take a peek inside the Kansas City Royals at (roughly) the quarter pole of the season.

Seattle @ Texas, 12:05 Mountain The Ballpark at Arlington is your venue for this not-so-thrilling clash of AL West foes. This is The House That W Built--back when his hobby was "owning" the Rangers with other people's money, our current president assembled baseball's juiciest club (here's the '93 roster) and a bandbox to go with it. Today, free of the cream and the clear, these Rangers go with the bad pitching and the bad hitting. Feldman starts today against the Mariners' Carlos Silva. Feldman!

Boston @ Baltimore, 1:05 This brief, annoying little two-game series concludes at Camden Yards with a duel of young starters. Jon Lester is your Soxer dealing from the left side, while Daniel Cabrera is your Oriole from the right. Let's play Crossfire! Boston's mini-swoon continued last night as Josh Beckett was uncharacteristically hittable and Manny Ramirez grounded weakly to the pitcher with the bases loaded and nobody out. On the plus side, my softball team rolled once again, so cash in those parlay tickets, kids.

Fun With Numbers, Royals Edition Operation Cellar Evacuation is complete, at least for now, as KC has relegated once-mighty Detroit to the AL Central basement. The Royals are not a lousy club, but they've certainly cooled off from their hot start. Can they sustain this pleasant mediocrity? Maybe.

The pitching continues to be a bright spot, particularly the bullpen. Royal relievers have posted a 3.81 ERA, which is good for 8th in the league. The 105 strikeouts from the pen is third best in the AL, but unfortunately that total represents 41 per cent of the staff's 255 K. They need more swings and misses from the starters.

Even though those starters' ERA is 10th in the league (4.53), new manager Trey Hillman is allowing his young arms to go fairly deep into games (just over 6 innings a start, comparable with the AL's elite teams). Overall, the Royals have the makings of a nice staff, but longer starts and a shutdown bullpen aren't much of a weapon if you don't score runs.

The Kansas City Offense has been dreadful. The boys in blue are last in runs (3.6 a game) and home runs (a dreadful 19) and 12th in the AL in both on-base (.314) and slugging (.362) percentages.

I've said it before and I'll say it again, the cure for all of these problems is but a Dayton Moore phone call away--Barry Bonds. But the requisite balls to make such a call seem to be in short supply, so it's theoretically possible to trade for a stick or two--you could always take on Richie Sexson's enormous salary. Last year's No. 1 pick, shortstop Mike Moustakas, is languishing in A ball and there's little batting help on the horizon in the farm system.

XM Radio MLB game schedule

DirecTV Extra Innings schedule

MLB.TV entry page
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Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Baseball In The Daytime: Tax Day

It's also Jackie Robinson Day, and thus you have a scorekeeper's nightmare where entire teams and many players will don the universally retired No. 42 of Mr. Robinson. And, for historical accuracy, fans will hurl beer bottles and epithets at ballplayers on the field.

Actually, that probably won't happen. Instead we'll simply scan the diamonds for clutch hits and pitches, including those from the following games played without artificial light.

But first I must admonish our administrator for allowing some of the House's wiring to fall out of building code. The link to Kissing Suzy Kolber has changed, sir, and ours is out of date fine (Editor's Note: I'm on this shit, idiot). Just like old favorite The Dugout has been on AOL for almost a year (Ed. Note: You can still get there just fine, moron. And don't miss this instant classic). OK, so maybe the links do work, we're still missing some fantastic baseball-themed blogs. I demand Fire Joe Morgan make the cut. And Bugs & Cranks is deserving too (they even cover the Royals!). We ought to have a Rockies blog, and this one ain't bad. UmpBump, Walk Off Walk and Yanks Fan/Sox Fan are still in the minors, but could be called up midseason--give 'em a look (Ed. Note: These requests could easily be taken care of in an interoffice memo, but apparently it benefits your street cred to yell at The Man).

Oakland @ Chicago White Sox, 12:05 Mountain A couple of surprising junior circuit clubs take to The Cell's green grass, led by a couple of surprising junior pitchers: Dana Eveland and John Danks, bro.

Los Anaheim Angeloses @ Texas, 2:05 You can beat 'em up, you can knock out half their rotation, you can try to poison their fans, but these Angels just won't die. In fact, with all their challenges, they're but a game out of first in the West. Dustin Moseley, who is subbing for injured Lackey/Escobar, is your starter in red, while Kevin Millwood rehashes his tired act in Ranger blue.

Arizona @ San Francisco, 2:35 I've told you before how many home runs Micah Owings hit in high school, how bout some more fun trivia? Like he's dating this chick from Hong Kong? His opposition today, Kevin Correia, pronounces his name like "Korea." And Korea is in Asia, like Hong Kong. Join us in five days for more dumb facts about Micah Owings.

Kansas City @ Seattle, 4:40 I was going to dazzle y'all today with a bunch of hard core stats about Kansas City's pitching prowess this year, but then I saw that we've already shoved a bunch of Royals crap down your throat. We'll simply leave you with the fact that John Bale is going for KC's third straight complete game against Miguel Batista.

(Update: Walkoff Walk is now officially sent back to the Single A, and may be designated for assignment. The reason? Blatantly ripping off the feature you're currently reading. Was poaching a rhyming headline not enough for you assholes? Now you conveniently adopt the day-baseball beat that I've been running for nearly a year? Credit where credit's due, punks. If I see an image of clam juice we are throwing down.)
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Thursday, April 10, 2008

Baseball In The Daytime: 4-10-08

There's a little less attention on the diamond today, with the opening round of the Masters getting underway. Whether or not you're a golf guy, the Masters is something you notice--it's the one tournament my dad still watches, for instance. I blew it assembling our pool this year, it snuck up on me.

Turning back to MLB, it's Thursday, and that means a handful of getaway games before the weekend series. So take a peek at today's schedule, and maybe you'll find something to occupy your eyeballs until the broadcast from Augusta gets underway at 2:00 Mountain...

Seattle @ Tampa Bay, 10:40 The leadoff contest today is an early tilt at the Trop in Tampa. Even with all of their bullpen foibles, the Mariners stand on the precipice of sweeping the Bay-Rays. Starting assignments go to Miguel Batista, who's horrible but is an accomplished writer and once gave my wife an autograph, and Edwin Jackson, who's just horrible.

Cincinnati @ Milwaukee, 11:05 With every passing day, the Reds bandwagon swells with membership. They hammered the Brew Crew 12-4 yesterday, and they stand to win the series behind ace Aaron Harang today. Carlos Villanueva is your Brewers' starter.

Atlanta @ Colorado, 1:05 The slumbering lumber finally awoke at Coors last night. The Rox plated a dozen runs against the Braves, this after scoring the same amount through the first week of the season. Holliday is finally heating up, and the timely hits with runners on are showing up. Tim Hudson is charged with slowing down the onslaught today, while Jeff Francis tries to turn in his first non-dismal start of the year.

Baltimore @ Texas, 3:05 Yesterday's rainout necessitates today's doubleheader, with Game One dropping the puck under the Lone Star sunshine (or perhaps more rain). The Orioles, yes the Orioles, are the hottest team in the whole damn sport and have yet to lose a game in the month of April. This is better than going undefeated in, say, January, because these games count! Bud Selig, feel free to use that line in pimping the mighty Baltimore Orioles. Steve Trachsel starts today against Kevin Millwood, making this pretty much the most unwatchable pile of crap game ever imagined, but remember--the Orioles are on fire!

So whether you're driving the fairway at Augusta or facing a 79-mph Trachsel heater, keep your head down, and Play Ball!
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Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Baseball in the Daytime: 9-19-07

The fat man takes the mound today. Oh. Wait. No he doesn't. Ervin Santana does. Fat man's got a stiffystiffness in his back. But that's only one of three afternoon matchups today in the bigs. Perhaps the most important (in terms of playoff implications) comes in the form of an AL Central showdown, one that pits C.C. Sabathia of the Tribe against the Detroit Tigers and eight-game winning Nate Robertson, who, to say the least, has his work cut out for him. Catch it on the 182, XM style, at 11:05 Central.

But back to fat dudes with stiffness. The 6-13 Santana and his Los Californaheim Angels look to broom away Las Rayas del Diablo de Tampa Bay. Santana's foe comes in the form of former Royals hurler J.P. Howell who hopefully doesn't boast about his 1-4 record or his 7.36 ERA. Tune in to this matchup on the SatelliteRadios, aka the XM 179, around, say 2:35ish.

Finally, the team formerly known as the Kansas City As, hosts the still-alive Seattle Mariners. Though the visiting team's chances for a post-season bid continue to fade with the surgence of Yankee victories, they'll put their stock in 12-game winner Felix Hernandez today as he faces the winless Dan Meyer. This game airs at the same time the Angels/Rays game, only one channel lower on the XM dial. Catch the fever that is baseball in the daytime.
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