Baseball In The Daytime: 4-18-08

It's Friday, and the Cubs are in the midst of a homestand, and thus the Chicago Nationals are the lone representative on BITD today. Get used to it--the Cubbies will always and forever be the most overrepresented day-ball squad out there, unless they start playing more under the lights. Fuck that--let's take the L to Wrigley, grab a slice at Digiornio's on the way to the bleachers, and settle in for a game.

After the jump, your starters for this NL Central event plus a few thoughts on this week in horsehide happenings...

Pittsburgh @ Chicago Cubs, 12:20 Mountain Rich Hill hasn't exactly set the world on fire thus far in 2008. His two starts have yielded nine innings, five earned runs and a tater. I'll bet you can figure out his ERA with that data, and if not the public education has failed our nation. Hill will share the mound with Ian Snell today--the hard-throwing righthander is now the Pirates' franchise pitcher after signing a tasty contract during spring training.

Walkoff Walk Watch The Watch has the day off today, but feel free to head on over and review the WoWtastic afternoon updates on your own time. Expect a pop quiz next week.

Bits Of Baseball The folks are all abuzz over the shocking (shocking!) revelations that Miguel Tejada bullshitted 'bout his birthday. If you're at all aware of the data surrounding hitters' peak output at certain ages you'll understand the fuss, but if you're also aware of the shady web of weirdness that takes place in Latin American contract negotiations you'll quickly dismiss it. Tejada's 40, El Duque is 50 and Julio Franco is eligible for Social Security.

The way ESPN handled it, though, is a hoot. Check out the gotcha-style interview techniques, as if Tejada had been Client No. 10 or had ties to Al Qaeda.

I'm much more concerned with the revelation that Prince Fielder has converted to vegetarianism than I am with lyin' old Tejada. You have got to be shitting me. As a complete moronic sucker that snagged Prince in the first round of a fantasy draft a fortnight ago, I feel snookered, hoodwinked and bamboozled. Prince Fielder has got to be the shittiest vegetarian ever. You're a big fat 50-homer slugging one-sacker, Tubby, not a teenage girl. Get back on the bacon. I'm sick.

Banky reminds me that today is Billy Butler's birthday, but I'm waiting for ESPN to uncover a copy of his Dominican birth certificate to confirm this. STAY TUNED.

The Rockies emerged victorious in a 22-inning war at Petco last night, as shitbag bum Troy Tulowitzki knocked in the game-winning unearned run after last call (Editor's Note: That'll be the last WaPo link for a while, we're boycotting in solidarity over the Ape Affair). Tulo's not really a bum, he's just killing another fantasy team of mine. Perhaps he's sworn off the meast as well. Whatever heroic feats these fat jerks performed last night, none of them struck out 44 batters like this broad did.

Finally, I know the games between the Yankees and the Red Sox receive little media scrutiny and are often ignored altogether by the sporting press. That' a shame, because there's some durn good players on those two clubs that could use a little love.

Seriously though, it's a little amazing what just happened during that two-game series in the Bronx. A-Rod hit a bomb to pass Sox great Ted Williams one one night, and Manny did the same to Yankee legend Lou Gehrig the next. During the final year of the ballpark where all of the guys played--sort of. What are the odds of that? I know, since we see Yanks-Sox 30 times a year, pretty good. Now go on and Play Ball!