Conversations on the Corner: The AL East

At last. The moment we've all been waiting for: the final installment of "Conversations on the Corner," the House of Georges' six-part attempt to see just how much Major League Baseball first basemen really know about one another. The idea stemmed from that warm-and-fuzzy, yet peculiar feeling we all get when a baserunner reaches first and proceeds to chat it up his opponent's first baseman. (Editor's Note: Today we actually plan to touch on that.) Who better to ask about guys around the league, especially first basemen, than first basemen. If today's piece, an in-depth look at the American League East (Note: For those that don't know, said division includes the Rays, Yanks, Jays, O's, and BoSox), proves stimulating, feel free to further the reading pleasure by devouring our previous efforts: the NL East, the NL West, the NL Central, the AL West, and the AL Central. Today's guest panelist is none other than Boston Red Sox glover Kevin Youkilis. Check out what the goateed one had to say, a small jump away.

Bankmeister: K-Y -- many thanks to you for being with us today.
Kevin Youkilis: Not a problem. And you can call me 'Youk.'
B: Uh, I'd prefer to save that tag for the guy that has earned it, but for the purposes of this interview, you bet. So, Youk, interesting start for the clubs in your division. If these first few weeks of baseball are any kind of post-season indication, it would appear that you guys'll run away with the division. It'd even be a possibility that the wildcard wouldn't come from the East.
KY: I know, but we've got a lot of tough teams, regardless of their record, in our division. Hell, Baltimore jumped up and surprised everyone out of the gates.
B: True indeed. You surprised that Toronto has managed to stay neck-and-neck with the Yankees?
KY: No, not really. I mean, the Yankees have to face us about three zillion times a season, so the Jays have that working in their favor.
B: Good point. Since you bring it up, and since nobody really knows for sure, how many times a year do Boston and New York face each other these days?
KY: Shoot. Last I heard it was something like 114.
B: Wow. That barely leaves enough games for to have a series with everyone else in the league, let alone inter-league play.
KY: I know, but...
B: But the networks eat it up?
KY: Next question.
B: Fair enough. Let's stick with your club for now. You've logged 20 games this year, but Sean Casey is right behind you with 13. What's going on there? I mean, you're not that much younger than him. Is it safe to say that you're wrangling the job away from the guy?
KY: Well, I don't think that's fair. We've got a lot of good bats in our lineup, though, and you've got to consider where the DH role comes into play.
B: Isn't David Ortiz usually the designated hitter?
KY: Yeah, but Terry does like to mix it up a good deal.
B: I see. If you run down the stats, though, you're the clear-cut number one first baseman on the depth chart. Where does that leave Casey?
KY: There're a lot of places you could plug him in.
B: Like?
KY: Like, I dunno. That's not really my place. Suffice it to say, though, that he's a good role model for the club to have--
B: A good presence in the dugout and locker room?
KY: Yeah. How'd you know I was going to say that?
B: Lucky guess, I suppose. Anyway, your guys' pitching has been pretty lights out thus far. Surprised?
KY: Not at all. Our rotation's just as solid as our roster.
B: How quaint. As we mentioned, the Orioles have had a great start, and they're only two games back right now. Curiously, they've got a similar situation going on at first base where Aubrey Huff has logged 17 games, and Kevin Millar has only two more. Neither one is significantly producing at the plate. What do you suppose is going on there?
KY: Well, I can't really say. I suppose Dave Trembley is trying to keep the competition even keel. Eventually, someone has to emerge as the go-to guy, especially if you're looking to make a post-season push.
B: Or...
KY: (pauses) Or what?
B: Or, they both suck equally, and they call someone up from the farm system.
KY: I don't know about that.
B: I do. Isn't it true that, while on first, you've talked to both of them about how much they suck?
KY: (laughs) No. Not at all.
B: Hmm. You never said "Aubrey -- you suck so bad that Eddie Murray's warming up in the bullpen?"
KY: (grimaces, scowls) No. That's retarded.
B: I see. And you never told Kevin Millar that (holds up scribble-ridden scrap of paper) "if Rafael Palmeiro knew what a horrid stick you swung, he wouldn't be able to get it up, even with a double dose of Viagra?"
KY: (squints and frowns) Who are you...? (lunges for scrap) Gimme that!
B: Relax. I'm just tryin' to get your sockies in a bunch.
KY: Jesus, dude. That's not funny.
B: Uh, yeah it was. The Orioles, nevertheless, have their work cut out for them if they want to stay competitive through the summer and into the fall. Those whacky Toronto Blue Jays, have platooned the first-base action between Lyle Overbay and crazy Canadian Matt Stairs. Overbay's logged a few more games, but Stairs has put up some mildly better numbers. Same scenario there?
KY: Yeah. They're just trying to feel out who the main guy on the bag will be. And they will.
B: I've always known Stairs to be a good utility guy, someone that can be plugged in at first, or DH, or the outfield if need be. Overbay, on the other hand, has almost always been a first baseman. You think Stairs wins the job?
KY: I don't. Not to take anything away from Matt, but the Baltimore front office really doesn't like Canadians.
B: Huh?
KY: Ha-ha. Got you. I think they'll stick with Lyle, though. Stairs, like you said, has many uses, and they'll do their best to get them out of him.
B: You know, in the off-season, Stairs lives, much like the HoG's Lone Reader used to, in Bangor, where they like to say things like, "Bang-or? Hardly knew 'er!"
KY: (stares blankly) I don't get it.
B: Nevermind. The one thing I know about Overbay, is that he broke three bones in his hand last year after getting hit by a pitch. And he had to go on the DL for that!
KY: And?
B: Well, the wily Stairs, given his Canadian grit and hockey-oriented toughness, would've stuck it out a la Jose Guillen.
KY: That sounds pretty presumptious.
B: (stares blankly) I don't get it.
KY: You said--
B: I know. I know. I'm messin' with you. Anyway, if Overbay or Stairs gets on base this evening, they'll likely chat with Carlos Pena. Or Eric Hinske. Or Dan Johnson. They all play first base for the Tampa Bay Rays. What the devil is going on there?
KY: Well, I haven't explored their depth chart, but I think Johnson is a young guy they're going to experiment with this year. The competition between Pena and Hinske, however, is likely the same as the other situations we've discussed.
B: Maybe the front office is trying to bedevil the fans.
KY: What does that mean?
B: Nothing, really. I'll bet by the time they figure out who their guy is, though, it'll be hot as the devil down there.
KY: Yeah. It always is down in Florida.
B: True. Makes you think twice about bringing deviled eggs to the game.
KY: Uh, yeah. I guess.
B: You think this club'll get things turned around this season?
KY: Well, they've got newish ownership, and some of the pieces are in place. They very well could. They really need to stay healthy to compete in this division, though.
B: True, and I hate to play devil's advocate, but if they don't stay healthy, do they stand a chance?
KY: Of course. Everyone stands a chance. It's a tough stretch, though, if you wind up with a lot of young guys in there.
B: True. Especially since the less-experienced guys are prone to keep later hours, and wind up involved in devilment.
KY: Yeah. It can go that way.
B: I've even heard stories of kids on their minor-league rosters spiking devil's food cake with booze and whatnot.
KY: I don't know anything about that.
B: Fair enough. Well, K-Y, I think that's about it. Again, thanks for your time.
KY: Not a problem.
B: Good luck this season. Oh, shit. We forgot about the Yankees. Okay, real quick: still another team that doesn't know who their right-side glover will be. You've got Shelley Duncan, the youngster, who's only logged two games.
KY: Sweet name, (makes fluttering, prancing movements) Shelley.
B: Indeed. Then there's Morgan Ensberg, who's gotten the nod six times. He's been solid in the past, but is obviously facing competition.
KY: Total ass clown.
B: Right. And finally, there's Jason Giambi. He's started 15 times, but has absolutely sucked at the plate.
KY: Donkey-raping shit-eater.
B: Okay. There you have it. Safe to say that you guys take the East and the Yanks are the wildcard again?
KY: Sure. If you're a moron.
B: Hmm. Who takes it then? The wildcard, that is.
KY: I'd say it's either Cleveland or Baltimore, maybe Oakland.
B: Really? No faith in the other Sox?
KY: Nah. They'll crumble. Bunch o' has beens.
B: Bold. But I like it. Thanks again.
KY: You bet.

And that's a wrap on this not-at-all time-consuming six-part series. Tune in next week when we do the same with catchers around the bigs in a feature we're calling "Squatters Behind the Diamond." Or we won't.