Baseball in the Daytime: el Dos de Rocktober

Well, well, well. The Colorado Rockies, as I'm sure all four of our readers already know, kicked the snot out of the Milwaukee Brew Crew yesterday afternoon, and earned themselves a playoff spot for the second time in three years. Now, if they can knock off the as-of-late pussified Dodgers, they could earn themselves a handsome little division title. They'll get after it this evening, by the way, out at the confines in a tilt that features the 11-6 Randy Wolf and the 14-12 Ubaldo Jimenez. In other playoff news, the Red Sox finally saw enough distance between themselves and the Rangers to squeak in, which means everything's a lock except for the damn A.L. Central. Minnesota took the win yesterday to bring things back to a two-game difference again. They host the Royals today; they'll need to win and get some help from the Ozzie Guillens who visit Detroit. Should be interesting-ish. Your unlighted, non-playoff (playoff?) baseball still awaits, after the jump.

Arizona @ Chicago, 1:20 Central: Billy Buckner and Tom Gorzelanny. One righty, one lefty. Two teams that will say "thanks and see ya'" to 2009 come Sunday. They'll get underway in the Field of Wrigleys this afternoon, and it'll be up to the Baby Bears to try and cool off the smokin' hot Pirates? XM was kind enough to include Rocktober in their schedule, and they'd therefore love it if you listened in to the game on channel 183. The DirecTV Webmasters are obviously not that intelligent.

Enjoy your last afternoon of regular-season day baseball. Go Broncos! Rockies!
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Baseball In The Daytime: 1 October 2009

Buckle your chin straps and fasten your safety belts, because this is the penultimate Baseball In The Daytime of the whole year and it's a humdinger. That was about the most nonsensical sentence imaginable, as you don't wear helmets or seatbelts while watching day baseball. Unless you're mentally retarded, in which case I apologize for my gross insensitivity to your condition.

Also, I believe that at least a few of next week's Division Series games will be played during daylight hours, so I was wrong there as well. WHO'S THE RETARD NOW?

Juvenile insults aside, we truly do have some killer games on the sked this afternoon. We've got a Cy Young race to decide, a possible playoff spot to clinch, and home field issues on the Senior Circuit to untangle. Some teams are rising, some stumbling, some playing out the string, and some trying to build a little momentum for the offseason. Let's get right into the fray, after the jump...

St. Louis @ Cincinnati, 10:35 Mountain The popular scuttlebutt holds that the NL Cy Young battle is a three-man race. Those men are Tim Lincecum of the Giants (who won in '08) and Cardinals teammates Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright. For my money Wainwright's the guy--he's been the most consistently unhittable from start to finish, even though Carpenter and Lincecum have slightly better stuff. It's not wrapped up, however, and a memorable start by Carpenter today could sway some of the spineless chin-strappers that inhabit the Baseball Writers of America. Carpenter's foil today is Cincinnati's Kip Wells.

Of more import than individual awards is the seeding in the NL playoffs. The Dodgers are still on top of the league with 93 wins, but they've dropped four straight to the putrid Pirates and Padres by a combined score 0f 25-7. Philadelphia sits a game behind with 92 wins, while the Rockies and Cardinals are currently at 90. All four of these teams are still in the mix for the top spot, and so every game they play over the next four days is impactful for playoff positioning.

Minnesota @ Detroit, 11:05 Over in the American League, we've got but one spot in the October tournament up for grabs. Someone has to win the Central division, and that someone will be one of the two teams wrasslin' at Comerica today. The Tigers, thanks to last night's 7-2 TKO of the Twins, hold a commanding three-game lead with four to play. A Detroit win behind lefty Nate Robertson means the race is over, good night, please hand in your keys. Should Scott Baker and Minnesota prevail, however, we keep this slugfest alive for at least one more day.

Milwaukee @ Colorado, 1:10 The brooms are out at Coors today, along with whatever symbolic trinketry you smuggle in when you're about to clinch. A boxing glove? A roll of toilet paper? An octopus? I don't know the protocol here. Aaron Cook starts for the home Rockies, who with a win lock down their second playoff berth in three seasons. Manny Parra tries to prevent any celebration on his watch, and you know what? Fuck Manny Parra and fuck the Brewers. We're taking a stand today, and it is decidedly homeriffic in the Centennial State.

With a victory, Colorado can also stay alive for a super-unlikely division crown, which would be their first. Tomorrow the Rox start a season-ending three-gamer at Chavez Ravine versus the free-falling Dodgers.

Arizona @ San Francisco, 1:45 The last of our BitD four-spot features the day's finest pitching matchup, Dan Haren against Lincecum. Haren has gone into his traditional second-half swoon, transforming from onetime Cy candidate to a guy who gives up five a game. Not that I'm bitter, not that I need Dan Haren to show up today to salvage my fading hopes in a fantasy baseball final. Let's throw a few strikes today, fellas, and Play Ball! Read more

Baseball In The Daytime: 16 September 2009

Today's BitD contains 100 per cent of your daily recommended allowance of calcium, riboflavin and fiber. Possible side effects include blurred vision and upset stomach. If your day baseball game lasts longer than four hours, please consult a physician.

With the fine print out of the way, let's check out the schedule, after the jump...

Cleveland @ Minnesota, 11:10 Mountain This is the last time Cleveland plays in the Metrodome, as the Twins open brand-new Target Field next April. It's not the last baseball game in the Hube, Detroit comes in tomorrow and the season ends with a three-game home set against the Royals. And I suppose that the Browns could still play the Vikings here, so technically it's not the last time ever a team from the city of Cleveland competes in this building. So let's not get all weepy and steal urinals on our way out the door. Aaron Laffey and Nick Blackburn are your scheduled starters.

Florida @ St. Louis, 12:15 The Marlins are still in this thing, by a thread. Colorado's three-game losing skid has left the Fish 4 1/2 out of the wild card with 17 yet to play. It's not inconceivable that they could catch the Rockies, although if they did so they'd probably then have to reel in the Giants as well. So I guess it is inconceivable, and this game is meaningless. Josh Johnson takes the hill for Florida, and if you're an NL Cy Young voter and you don't give Johnson one of your ten spots you are a punk. He's opposed by the one, the only, Joel Pineiro.

Pittsburgh @ LA Dodgers, 1:10 Even though they're still in first, and even though they have a nice lineup, no one is really taking the Dodgers seriously as World Series contenders. Their rotation is kind of a mess, riddled with question marks, and the current consensus is that LA can't matchup with St. Louis and Philly in the NL playoffs. Hiroki Kuroda, one of those question marks, takes on Kevin Hart today in (at? from?) Chavez Ravine.

Arizona @ San Diego, 1:35 Here at Baseball In The Daytime, we like to save the best for last. We like to, but we can't always deliver. I must apologize for our closing afternoon game, because it's cover-your-face awful. It "features" Doug Davis going for the D'Bags and Eduardo Mujica doing likewise for the Padres. These teams are a combined 34 games under .500 and are both on the verge of bankruptcy. Outside of Adrian Gonzalez and Justin Upton, there's not a single player on either roster I'd pay to watch play today. But hey, it's baseball, in a beautiful city, during daylight hours--that ain't bad I reckon. Marshall your courage and Play Ball!
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Baseball In The daytime: 17 August 2009

The deadline for signing your draft picks is 10 p.m. Mountain tonight, and in my mind's eye I can see Scott Boras in his war room plotting the overthrow of baseball as we know it.

Seriously, I hope Strasburg signs. The Nats need help, and the Royals don't need the fireballing righty matriculating in independent ball for a year so they can pick him up in 2010 (see Crow, Aaron). Make it happen, Boras.

Your lone day game, after the jump...

Arizona @ Atlanta, 2:05 Last year MLB waited on the edge of its collective seat for the call-up of Max Scherzer, Arizona's No. 1 prospect and one of the best arms in the minors. He's been in the bigs for just over a calendar year now, and the results have been mixed. He strikes out a lot of guys, but he also doesn't win much and doesn't go deep into games. You could blame both on the woeful D'Bags, who offer little in the way of run support and prefer to baby their prized asset.

This year's big midseason pitching addition was Tommy Hanson, whom the Braves kept down on the farm until they could squeeze another season out of his service time prior to arbitration. Cheap bastards, those Braves. He's been solid out of the gate, quite the opposite of Scherzer actually. His K numbers have been disappointing, but he's assembled a nice 7-2 record while averaging over six innings an outing. The two kids meet today at Turner Field, and it promises to be humid. Insert clever quip here and Play Ball!
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Baseball In The Daytime: 12 August 2009

Five games dot our landscape of day baseball this morning and afternoon, and we have teams representing five of the United States and one Canadian province. Break out your atlas and a rosin bag and get ready to head round the world of baseball...

Toronto @ NY Yankees, 11:05 Mountain The Yanks keep bulldozing toward a seemingly inevitable AL East crown, which will buy Joe Girardi at least two weeks of job security. Lose in the first round again, though, and Joe might be toast. A.J. Burnett, today's starter against his former BJ's teammates, holds a major key to the Bombers' postseason puzzle. If he can be an effective No. 2 behind Commander Cheeseburger, start planning a tickertape parade down Broadway. If he acts like A.J. Burnett, though, and the load falls to Joba and Pettite, Girardi may want to hold off on buying Manhattan real estate. Ricky Romero hurls for the visitors.

Oakland @ Baltimore, 11:35 It's very possible that these two clubs will sport two of the finest young staffs in the majors next year. Of course, a big reason for that is because they have zero veterans and they're playing kids that would be normally be in the minors. Oakland's Vin Mazzaro looks like a future ace, but he gets lit up a lot because he's 22. Oriole Jason Berken, a relative graybeard at 25, is not among Baltimore's elite prospects like Chris Tillman, Brian Matusz and David Hernandez, but he still shows big-league potential.

Tampa @ Los Anaheim, 1:35 After their deadline deal to trade their old "Devil" name to the Yankees fell through, the Bay-Rays were able to get the moniker through waivers this week. It's possible that the Angels, in need of some thump for the stretch drive, might deal Tampa a lefty reliever and a player to be named later, because the Los Anaheim Devil-Angels of Costa Mesa is a fucking sweet tag. On the field, these two gangs take up hostilities again this afternoon, after the Halos swept the first two games of this series. Jeff Niemann tries to salvage one for the Bay-Rays, while Trevor Bell becomes the 100th pitcher to start a game for the Angels this season.

NY Mets @ Arizona, 1:40 In an air-conditioned box in downtown Phoenix, two lousy baseball teams will play a baseball game that means absolutely nothing. If no one attends and they forget to turn on the cameras, will it actually happen? Of course it will, there are fantasy implications. Oliver Perez and Jon Garland take the balls from their respective catchers, and if you're counting on either Oliver Perez or Jon Garland for your fantasy baseball hopes today, I'd suggest some strong liquor.

LA Dodgers @ San Francisco, 1:45 The Giants rolled into this series after beating up on some damn good teams, including taking a series from the defending champion Phillies. They'd closed to within four and a half of the Dodgers, who'd lost 10 of 15 and have No. 1 starter Chad Billingsley gimpy and missing today's start.

So what happens? The Dodgers simply fuck the Giants up in the first two games of the series and stand to sweep today. San Fran has very nice pitching, but even with Fat Ichiro and new additions Ryan Garko and Freddy Sanchez their lineup is really, really weak. At least reigning Cy Younger Tim Lincecum starts today, against Weaver. Which Weaver, you ask? Both brothers play in SoCal, they have similar haircuts, and both of their first names start with J. So which one? The bad one. Oh, you mean Jeff. Try to throw strikes, my brother, and Play Ball!
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Baseball In The Daytime: May 20, 2009

Wednesday brings us an oddly-timed midafternoon businessman's special in the bigs. The Snakes and the Fish are dueling, which would seem to be a big mismatch depending on the venue. On land, the Diamondbacks have a huge edge. Underwater, the Marlins would coast to victory. Perhaps they can play in pudding. I like butterscotch.

This game will not take place in tapioca, but a big ol' football stadium in South Florida. It's the first leg of a doubleheader, a doubleheader that's necessary because it rains approximately every day in Miami during the summer. If city brass were sly, they'd build a stadium with a roof--but that would make for the dreaded dome arrangement they have in Tampa. Everyone hates that, too sterile. What's the solution?

Hey, they found it! A retractable roof park on the site of the demolished Orange Bowl. Everybody wins, except the poor taxpayer required to foot the $500 million bill for a new field for a team that draws 600 fans a night. For now, though, you'll have to advance past the jump for news about today's game...

Arizona @ Florida, 3:10 Mountain Lots of seamheads raised a collective eyebrow when the D'Bags canned Doug Melvin and hired A.J. Hinch, because Hinch has never managed anything. Not even a slow-pitch softball team, or a Quizno's. Those doubters have been silenced, however, because Hinch has been far, far more inept than anyone imagined. He routinely only puts seven guys on his lineup card, and last week he attempted a double switch with a bag of sunflower seeds. One of his pitchers, Doug Davis, openly lambasted Hinch's decision to pull him from Davis' last start.

So who starts today for Hinch's bags? Doug Davis! Man, this is gonna be super-awkward if DD gets lit up by Florida. The Marlins send Chris Volstad out for the top of the first, and none of this matters because it will almost certainly rain again. Play Ball, maybe!
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Baseball in the Daytime: 4-8--09

Ultimately, this BitD chair is usually occupied by a wiser, craftier baseball muse than myself, but you, fair reader, are stuck with me until Old No. 7's kid has obtained his first official position in the city council. Or at least until he's driving, and believe you me when I say that if Jackson follows Cecil's lead, you and I are in this one for the long haul, so you may as well get used to my witless droning, my American League bias, and my PBR farts.

More importantly, there are a few games on the slate today, and they're kind of AA-ish in that they're all National League matches (Editor's Note: cocks cheek, offers gassy emission), but there's some value to tuning in today, as we have the opportunity to see if the Phils get swept, and we can weigh in on who's who in the West. So take note, your schedule is a click away.

Nationals @ Marlins, 11:10 Central: This tilt in Miami is our only pre-nooner today, and it features batter's-box chicken-shit Daniel Cabrera for the visitors, and he'll take on former first-rounder Chris Volstad and the home squad in this battle of righties. Tune in (Tokyo) to this one on DirecTV 721 if you're a Nats fan, 722 if you feel for the fish. Or XM has it on the ever-popular 183.

Braves @ Phillies, 2:05: Javier Vazquez and Joe Blanton, who may or may not look like a fat, racist truck driver from Birmingham, are your starters in game three of this series, one in which the defending champs have yet to obtain a W. It's another duel of right-handers, and you can view it on DirecTV 723, or put an ear to a speaker at XM 184.

Rockies @ D'backs, 2:40: And for our third match of the afternoon, we finally get some left-handed action, as Franklin Morales meets Doug Davis in the desert. In the rubber match of this trio of games, Morales must impress, or, allegedly, he may slip out of the rotation, and his challenge is not an easy one against the one-time strikeout machine Davis who saw limited action last season as he battled thyroid cancer. This is a tough one -- found on DTV 724, 725 or XM 185 -- to predict, but I gotta imagine that the team with Seth fucking Smith on the roster gets the nod. Word on the street is that it's only a matter of time before this guy explodes. Hell, newbie Fort Collins Cosmic Underdog has already signed him in our fantasy league, which counts for something. Right?

Whatever. Enjoy the afternoon, and remember to actually do a little work while you're filling in your scorecard.
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Lineup Against the Wall: Them D'backs of 'Zonatown

So, in the name of impartiality, let's pretend that the National League is as cool as the A.L. and examine these teams from the N.L. West. Arizona's always a good place to start, since, you know, we have to consider them as legitimate nowadays. A peek into their chances of improving upon their 2008 campaign, just past the creek. Or over the jump. Or something.

As I recollect, the final weeks of NL West baseball last season were somewhat of a cockfight in that the Dodgers and Diamondbacks scratched and clawed their way to the finish. Ultimately, guys like Hiroki Kuroda and Manny Ramirez gave L.A. the edge, and Arizona the trip home for October. They hope to be on the other end of things come this fall, and here're the tools they'll use to try and accomplish that:

1) CF Chris Young
2) SS Stephen Drew
3) LF Conor Jackson
4) 2B Felipe Lopez
5) 3B Mark Reynolds
6) 1B Chad Tracy
7) RF Justin Upton
8) C Chris Snyder

Not too shabby. A bit unproven in some regards, but teeming with potential. The acquisition of Lopez should give the clubhouse some of that good ol' veteran leadership, and frankly, the potential on this club could strongarm them past a semi-aging Dodger team, that is, of course, if their pitching staff can hold their own, which shouldn't pose much of a problem.

1) Brandon Webb
2) Dan Haren
3) Doug Davis
4) Jon Garland
5) Max Scherzer

B-Webb tore shit up last year with 22 wins, a 3.30 E.R.A. and nearly 200 Ks. Haren won eight fewer, averaged the same number of earned runs, and actually topped the 200-strikeout mark. Doug Davis was also impressive in his K-BB ratio, but surrendered more runs and only notched six victories. As the only southpaw in the rotation, he stands a chance of improving significantly this season. Arizona's other noteworthy acquisition is Jon Garland, who won 14 as an Angel in '08. His E.R.A. crept upwards of 5.00, but he's still got some decent innings left in him, and Max Scherzer is still looking for his first big-league victory, which I'm certain won't take him long to obtain. This rotation looks tough as nails, but what's yet to be seen is how much they might miss The Big Unit.

In the 'pen are, well, a ton of dudes. The Arizona middle relief might be a shaky point for this team, especially considering the fact that they're liable to get a lot of quality starts from their rotation. There's a bunch of guys who've yet to demonstrate significant big-league success, some newbies, and some fossils (see Tom Gordon). It looks like Jon Rauch gets the nod as the setup guy and Chad Qualls will be the closer. If the 'backs can make late-game pitching work with this crew, then they're likely to have a shot at the division, but I'm guessing that the wheels'll come off for this club around mid-August, leaving them in a disappointing third-place finish.
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Baseball in the Daytime: 9-25-08

We've got a duo of light-free baseball on the docket today, and they might be boring games, but to a couple of fan bases out there in America, these contests mean something. Interested in reading our brief dronings about them? Click, my friend. Click into the other side, the alter-world beyond the jump.

Tampa Bay @ Detroit, 12:05 (Eastern): Scott Kazmir, his 12-7 record, and his playoff-bound Rays face Armando Galarraga (12-6) and the Tigers today at Comerica Park. Yes, the Rays are in. No, they have not yet clinched the AL East. Yes, their chances of doing so against a sputtering Tigers club is nice. While the Ray-trailing Red Sox are three games behind, they could gain some ground by knocking off Cleveland and coupling that with a Tiger win. Boston has the pitching edge (Sowers vs. Lester), and home-field advantage as well. The Rays-Tigers game can be viewed on DirecTV 722 or 723, or heard on XM 179.

Arizona @ St.Louis, 1:15: No, things do not look good for the D'bags, and no the pitching match doesn't offer much hope either as 6-8 Doug Davis faces the 6-7 Joel Pineiro. Yes, the Dodgers have clinched a berth, and yes, Arizona still could, too. No, though; their chances look bleak, as they've dropped to an even .500 record, and are three and-a-half back of LA. Yes, DirecTV has this one (724 & 725), and yes, you may listen to it as well on the XMs, 185 to be exact.

Three games left in this 2008 regular season, folks, which means a mere two more possible days of Baseball in the Daytime. Tune in, for old time's sake.
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Midseason Report Card: NL West

What. So it's September. Hardly mid-season. I got it, already. We type (from wheelchairs no less) our content, mail it to a Web-publishing office, who then sends us a draft edit, and we fix stuff, and send it back. It takes time. We promise, though, to have the National League covered by month's end. For real. Anyway, special agent Johnny Utah joins us today, and if you like what he says about America's pastime, then check out what the babealicious Sooze said about the AL Central here, Blanche Feverpiss on the West here, and Rustoleum's slant on the East here. Actually, we don't really care if you liked it or not. We did, and we're not only slow as erosion, we're self-pleasers. Anyway, for the record, our boy Utah is also a fan of exclamation points and all-capping the occasional word.

Bankmeister: First, if you would, tell us a bit about yourself, your history as a baseball fan, and how you've come to embrace the team we all associate with Tommy Lasorda, Steve Garvey, (Editor's Note: I've heard you say before that Garvey is a sore spot since he later went to San Diego, but that's how I'll always remember him, so all apologies.) Steve Sax, Ron Cey, and of course, Fernando Valenzuela. I trust you were well engaged by the 1988 World Series, and I'll assume that since I remember the '81 defeat of the Yankees, that you do, too.

Beyond that, as of today, the Dodgers are a game and-a-half back of the Arizona Diamonbacks (Note: Obviously a few days ago; the reverse is true today.), and if memory serves correctly -- chances are it doesn't, and I'm too lazy to look it up -- that's pretty much been the case since mid-season, give or take a small handful of games. We've got a little over three weeks left in this regular season, and as of today, L.A. hosts Arizona for a three-game series (Note: LA swept that series, 7-0, 7-2, and 5-3). How do you see this division shaking up? If Team Lasorda can't get it done, the Phillies right now have a better record than the Dodgers. I imagine that you're hoping to take the division and rule out the nerve-racking possibility of having to squeak in as a wildcard.

Johnny Utah: Ok, Im a life-long Dodger fan since my father played for them in the 60s and later tried to make a comeback in the Phillies organization. I grew up in Philly watching the likes of Mike Schmidt, but always had the Blue Blood. And yes, Garvey is my boy even though he became a Padre (I still block that out!). The wanker once not only wouldn't sign an autograph for me, but he dropped my pen and wouldn't pick it up! Bastard!

The '88 series was magical for me. I was fresh out of high school and becoming a member of the working force. Man, I remember the Gibby home run like it was yesterday. It was all the sweeter that he hit it off Douche Eckersley. In my opinion, Mickey Hatcher was the MVP of the series but never got the credit. One home run all year, with 2 clutch at bats in the series! Atta boy, Mickey!

Enough with the history lesson; on to the present. It has to be the division or nothing. Ten games out of the wild card would be next to impossible, so nix that out of the equation.

This weekend series is pivotal. Good for me that it takes place in the not-so-friendly confines of Chavez Ravine. I predict the boys in blue take two out of the three and go on to win the division by two games. Why?

First, the Snakes' rotation is totally overrated. The Unit is not what he was. He's not intimidating anymore, although John One Nut Kruk will say different. Brandon Webb has proven in his last two outings that he is not untouchable. He has given up six runs in each of his last two, one of the games in question was to the pillow-bitting Padres. Sit down Webby, you started hot and gave my fantasy team a boost, but...Dan Haren? Gimme a break....

Adam Dunn was a nice pickup, NOT. The friggin guy strikes out more than me at a Victoria's Secret photo shoot! Moot point, just wanted to include.

Why LaLa will take it...

Joe Torre is a really good manager. He has kept Jeff "The Mustache Kent" from causing any grief with teammates. Bonus points there!

The bullpen has proven that even with the loss of Takashi Saito they can shut down the opposition in the closing innings. Kind of a closer-by-committee approach courtesy of Mr. Torre. Chan Ho Park and Jonathan Broxtan have proven themselves in this department.

A quality starting staff: Derek Lowe has been in many a playoff hunt, so there is some experience. Chad Billingsly is going to be a fantasy stud in the next few years, as is Clayton Kershaw. In fact, the Indians wanted Billingsly in a deal for Sabathia, which LA obviously declined. Thank you, Ned Colletti!

The additions of Casey Blake and ManRam: They have both contributed a great deal. Blake seems to come up with key hits in the clutch. Manny always finds a way to get on base now that he is happy with his situation. Even if it is by the ole IBB, he is a strong bat in the lineup the Bums have been missing since Pedro Guererro.

The schedule also points in the favor of LA. More road games, but six against San Diego, six against the Jints, and four at Pittsburgh.

Looming are the fricken Rockies @ five games back. They DID come out of nowhere last year....Not concerned about Jorge DeLa Rosa this year....Matt Holliday would look good in Blue, isnt he a free agent?....I'm just saying

B: Interesting. So, LA has the edge based the non-strength of their remaining schedule, and because the Diamondbacks, are, you say, a tad overrated? Perhaps I can see a shade of that with their rotation, but they've still managed to score more runs than anybody in the division except the Rockies. That means they're either putting some lumber on some seamage, or getting on base and advancing runners, or some combination of both. Therefore, they can remain competitive, even if their pitching is slightly weaker than it looks on paper. Are you feeling confident enough to guarantee an LA division title? Assuming you are, and that that happens, who would you fear most in the playoffs? The Cubs of course have the great record, but they sort of seem to be falling apart right now. Do the Mets pose a threat? How about Milwaukee? They're my dark horse.

JU: Very overrated. They do have the second most runs in the division. However, when they lost the O-Dog Orlando Hudson, they lost a piece of their chemistry. Since he was placed on the DL August 10th, they have seemed to lose steam. I have a lot of love for Steven Drew, baseball's version of Scott Skiles, but he alone won't get the job done. Adam Dunn, as I stated earlier, is a strikeout machine. He is unable to advance runners. Glory hound I say...

With that, I say I'm very confident on a NL West Title. Im trying to stay unbiased, but all signs point to DodgerTown.

Although the starting rotation is shaky, the Phils are the biggest scare. That lineup is fierce. Chase Utley has a career .355 and an OPS of 1.105 against my boys. Russell Martin has been horrendous throwing out runners this year, so Jimmy Rollins becomes even more dangerous. Shane Victorino (who was drafted by LA in '99) finds ways of coming aroung to score. Needless to say, sound fundamental ball is the Dodgers' weakness.

Just advancing to the NLCS will be a victory after the past disappointments.

It will occur, write it down. So says Johnny Utah.

B: NLCS you say? So they get in, win one round of the playoffs, get eliminated, and you're fine with that? I find that hard to swallow. Frankly, I would expect more from someone who's waited 20 years for a Dodger World Series trophy, and even more so for someone who watched a Philly Eagles team come so close for those consecutive years, only to go home disappointed each time.

JU: Geez, Banky. Why do you have to bring Donnie Mac into this?

I'm not saying that I would be satisfied with a one and out. I was just saying that anything less than that would be a huge disappointment. With bringing in Torre, and his ability to manage the team, not winning the division would have Dodger Nation calling for his head.

We Blue Bloods are hungry for a ring! With ManRam, Torre, the pitching staff, and the hot bat of Ethier, it's obtainable.

B: Fair enough, Utah. How do you see the rest of the playoffs panning out, both NL and AL?

JU: For the N.L., I see Dodgers~Phillies in the NLCS, with the Phils winning in six games. In the A.L., I see the Red Sox taking the East, with the Rays getting the wild card. White Sox and Twins tie, with the Pale Hose winning the one-game tie breaker. I'll say the Angels take out the South Siders in the ALCS.

I predict another title for the Angels in five games. They have no glaring weakness.

B: Interesting. No Baby Bears anywhere in the mix? First-round elimination for the best record in baseball?

JU: Not so much; just not sold on the Scrubs (real original I know). I'm not buying this 100 years; it's fate B.S. I hate the Cubs so much that come November I'm writing in Steve Bartman for Prez!

B: Alrighty, then. It's been a pleasure having you with us. If you make it to the Ravine for any playoff ball, be careful. Humberto will find you.

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Baseball In The Daytime: 8-27-08

A trio of day games are perched on today's MLB slate, but the bigger news is out of the bag: Instant replay starts tomorrow. That's right, tomorrow. Not at the start of next year. Not with a trial period in Double-A or the Instructional League. Today's games will be the last wholly governed by humans, and tomorrow we deputize the machines for assistance.

Look, I'm not anti-replay. I like technology. Like Reggie White once said, give the Japanese a toaster and they'll give you a watch. And I like getting calls right, and I hate dismissing good ideas in the name of asinine traditions. But who, other than the Clinton wing of the Democratic Party, tries to change rules in the middle of a season? How is that possibly a good idea? How is it that umpires, who don't like this adjustment and who weren't consulted in its implementation, will manage replay with any sort of skill on the fly? How will they not botch more calls now than with the old system?

I predict that this season is fucked on this front. This will affect the pennant race and this will affect the playoffs. At this point I don't know the specifics of this change--once I get filled in I'm sure I'll have many more thoughts. But for now, Bud, this overreaction gets a fat thumbs down from this fan. On to the games...

Chicago Cubs @ Pittsburgh, 10:35 Mountain I don't know what the weather's going to be like in the Steel City today, but let's assume the forecast calls for glorious. If you're in Western PA, you can make your way downtown and to PNC Park to take in a matinee against the first-place Cubs. You can shell out twenty bucks (what the average Pittsburgher clears in a week) for a seat and twenty more for some peanuts, Cracker Jack and a brew. You can sit in the sunshine and watch the game languidly unfold before you. And then you can realize that you are in Pittsburgh and you have more than a fourth grade education, and you can get the fuck out of there before the dumb and the fat infect you. Jason Marquis and Zach Duke are your starters.

Arizona @ San Diego, 1:35 On the other hand, if you live in San Diego, you can fuck off. Seriously. No one likes you. D'Bags starter Randy Johnson doesn't like you, although he's pretty grouchy with everyone. Padres pitcher Cha Seung Baek doesn't like you--he'll only live in your fair city for a few more weeks before being shipped to yet another club. I don't like you. Brian Giles likes you, but only because he's so enthralled by your beautiful city he refuses to play anywhere else. Go to hell, San Diego.

Minnesota @ Seattle, 2:40 The AL Central has just turned into a God damned dogfight. Daily hand-to-hand combat. With Detroit's complete implosion, only the Twins and the White Sox are left standing, and Chicago's fine play of late leaves them two games free as of press time. Minnesota tries to stay close with Glen Perkins on the Safeco mound today opposite Ryan Feierabend. Seattle is still playing hard, for one reason and one reason only. They're on pace to be the first team ever to lose 100 games with a payroll in excess of $100 million. You can do it, Mariners. 82 down, 18 to go. Stay strong and resolute in your commitment to losing, and Play Ball!
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Baseball In The Daytime: 7-3-08

If you like to watch baseball, one thing you should never do is buy your own home. Sure, purchasing property is part of the American Dream and the single most responsible thing you can do for the struggling economy. But it fucks your baseball season, man. Big time.

When else is the wife going to decide to concurrently remodel your bedroom and install a sprinkler system in the yard? That shit ain't happening in March, not if you're married to a teacher. No, that only goes down in July, when the pennant races are heating up and your team is getting blasted by the fucking Bay-Rays.

So here's some Baseball In The Daytime for ya, you jerks. Enjoy it. I'll be at work until my lunch break, when I get to go stick some pipe in a trench. Same thing I'll be doing tomorrow, on the national holiday. We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, unless they buy a house, in which case those men enslave themselves for a lifetime of chores in exchange for some lousy equity that's diminishing anyhow. God Bless The U.S.A.

LA Dodgers @ Houston, 12:05 Mountain In each of the last five seasons I've predicted that the Dodgers would win the NL West. They always have the division's highest payroll and they assemble great teams on paper. But they nearly always disappoint. This year, with Joe Torre, a mix of veteran and nice young everyday players and deep pitching, I thought once again that they would take the flag.

These Dodgers still might, but they've let a golden opportunity pass by. Arizona's hot start has melted, as the D'Bags dropped to .500 this week. LA still sits a game and a half back because they can't piss straight. Everyone's hurt, Torre hasn't helped and the pitching staggers around as if sniffing paint. Today's starter Chad Billingsley has a 3.38 ERA but only a 7-7 record to show for it. He won a game on Saturday, in fact, in which his offense didn't collect a single hit. Try to do that sometime, it's really hard. Billingsley faces Brandon Backe of the Astros, who listens to Creed.

Milwaukee @ Arizona, 1:40 Those very Diamond Bags get a little BITD in themselves. In this matchup of teams with convertible houses, the Brewers of fan-shaped Miller Park infiltrate Chase Field, which resembles a box of bread. Manny Parra dons the road grays across from Brandon Webb in home whites. Unless one team or both wears those stupid solid-color BP jerseys, which are weak and vaguely un-American. In a time of global terror we must wear serious baseball uniforms, men. Now suit up and Play Ball!
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Baseball In The Daytime: 6-9-08

The word for today is reacharound, kids, and I implore you to use it often. The reacharound is a pleasant feeling you get when your weekend series can't quite wrap it up by Sunday and it has to sneak over to Monday afternoon to get 'er done. The term has no other uses, nope, never.

So have a seat, and let the gentle fingers of Baseball In The Daytime caress your fanhood until you're a happy customer...

Arizona @ Pittsburgh, 10:35 Mountain Our first reacharound occurs at the confluence of the Allegheny, Monongahela and Ohio Rivers, at beautiful PNC Park. It features your still first-place D'Bags and the scrappy Pirates. How scrappy, you ask? Well, they're nine and a half out and in fifth place. Sounds like the same old Pirates, you say. But hold on there, Mr. Cynical. The Bucs actually hold the same record as the Dodgers, who reside in second in their division, and are within a half game of the Mets, who have the second-highest payroll in the sport. So yes, they're scrappy. Your reacharound starters are The Big Unit and The Duke, which is fitting.

Kansas City @ NY Yankees, 11:05 Nowhere is the reacharound tradition more legendary than at venerable Yankee Stadium, site of today's contest between the Bombers and the Royals. Although the Yanks are gunning for the series win in this four-game set, it is the boys in occasional powder blue who could easily be setting up for a sweep. If they could pitch better, that is, and I suppose being able to pitch would be a prerequisite for sweeping a major league baseball team. Joakim Soria blew a ninth-inning lead on Saturday, while Zach Greinke could not hold a one-run edge in yesterday's contest. Today Luke Hochevar will be given the ball to start, but the score will be 0-0. Keep it together, kid. Mike Mussina drags his Archie Bunker hide to the mound as well.

Minnesota @ Chicago White Sox, 12:05 Getting some reacharound is a pleasant surprise, and these Pale Hose are one of the biggest surprises in baseball. Chicago holds a five and a half game lead over these Twins after taking the first three games of the series. That represents the biggest divisional lead in the game. When reached (around) for comment, manager Ozzie Smith Guillen said "Fuck you, fag." Fair enough, Oz. The skip sends John Danks, bro, into battle against Glenn Perkins, a rare instance when two starters whose names both end in "S" face one another. Reach around gently, boys, and Play Ball!
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Baseball In The Daytime: 5-26-08

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Baseball In The Daytime: 5-9-08

Just one game today, kids, your standard Cubs-are-home-on-a-Friday-let's-play-before-dark affair. God bless the Cubbies, and we'll get to the game preview in a sec. But first, a fairly tremendous feat.

Courtesy of Walkoff Walk, that baseball blog with whom we once had a juvenile one-sided feud, comes this freakishly unbelievable story of quite possibly the greatest baseball achievement of all time. A kid who pitched a perfect game and hit for the cycle ON THE SAME FLIPPING DAY. Read on...

A senior right-hander, Wall struck out six batters and retired 15 in a row in a five-inning, 18-0 victory over Coal Ridge. At the plate, the left-handed hitter tripled, singled, doubled, then homered in only four innings.

Later, Wall rescued a school bus full of children, wrote a bestselling novel and patched a large sinkhole in I-25 using only a square-point shovel. He then finished his homework, brushed his teeth and went to bed. Pretty good day.

Arizona @ Chicago Cubs, 12:20 Mountain Those mighty D'Bags, who just one week ago looked as though they might clinch the NL West crown by Flag Day, have fallen on comparatively hard times. After splitting a series against the Phillies and losing one to the Mets, they're a pedestrian 5-5 over their last ten. Meanwhile, the Dodgers have caught fire and pulled to within three and a half. Luckily for the Snakes, the rest of their division is comprised of crippled war veterans and baseball-playing moles--and moles have no sense of the strike zone and will therefore swing at anything.

Meanwhile, on the North Side, everyone's favorite lovable losers are struggling their own selves. The Cubs have dropped three straight series, including one this week to the lowly Reds. They sit two back of St. Louis, who never really seems to lose ballgames. Today they'll send Ted Lilly out against visiting Dan Haren. I'm sure it's on WGN, which even homeless people get on their cable packages. Play Ball! Read more

Baseball In The Daytime: 4-16-08

As we pass the ides of April, the daytime hardball action begins to dwindle. Soon big league clubs will dispense with all the off days and snow delays and settle into the 162-game grind, with most games played at night to maximize revenue and avoid the blazing sun. Oh, we'll get our Tuesday and Thursday getaway tomfoolery, the occasional Monday reacharound, and of course Fridays at Wrigley, but they'll be rare, my friends.

Today gives us a solo shot of game action, featuring possibly the least valuable player in the majors. After the jump get your preview, as well as our running analysis of our shadow, Walkoff Walk's eerily familiar "Such A Fine Looking Afternoon."

Arizona @ San Francisco, 1:45 Mountain Your scorching-hot D'Bags take their best-looking-team-in-baseball schtick to McCovey Cove today for an engagement with the Giants. The Snakes' young lineup continues to absolutely hammer the ball, with even rusty Conor Jackson belting a bomb last night in an 8-2 win over the G-Men. Today Arizona's ace righty Brandon Webb gets the ball, where he'll toe the rubber of San Fran's freakishly tall mound.

Opposing Webb is Barry Zito, he of the $126 million Giant contract, and 11-16 Giant record (with a hefty 4.53 ERA to boot). Is Zito, considering his compensation, the game's LVP? When you look a the other nine-figure deals in baseball, almost all are met with at least comparable production. A-Rod is the best hitter in the game, Jeter is a perennial All-Star, Manny is a Hall of Famer. Todd Helton doesn't earn his pay, but he's the face of a franchise and a beloved captain. Vernon Wells and Carlos Lee are big-time outfielders and run producers. Miguel Cabrera and Johan Santana just signed their deals but look like sound investments.

The only guys you can compare Zito to are Mike Hampton and Jason Giambi. Both signed $120-million-ish contracts that expire this season. Giambi has been a brittle, defenseless schlub of a Yankee, has never won a title in pinstripes (though that's clearly all A-Rod's fault), but he hits an occasional clutch jack. Hampton has matriculated on to several different teams and can not stay healthy at all. So I guess your typical Zito outing is better than your typical Hampton start, which is a Triple-A pitcher filling in for him while Mike eats Cheetos. Way to go, Barry. You're only the second biggest waste of an eighth of a billion dollars out there.

Walkoff Walk Watch WoW is a solid baseball blog, run by longtime Deadspinners Rob Iracane and Camp Tiger Claw. They publish a number of regular features with wit and wisdom, including the sublimely excellent Corey Patterson Watch. Now I certainly don't want to sling monkey shit at the one and only man who could grant me a Deadspin commenter's account, but it has to be said: Walkoff Walk are some idea-snatchin' motherfuckers. Their new feature, Such A Fine Looking Afternoon, is a blatant heist of Baseball In The Daytime.

So we will, from time to time, assess the performance of these pilfering bastards. After all, who would have a better idea of how skilled a thief is than the victim of the crime? I know, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Today's SAFLA is...not there as of press time. So I guess that'll be an F. The day baseball beat is a tough one, boys. Occasionally you have to wake up at ten. I do have a promise of an Iracane live-blog for the AZ-SF game, so we'll keep an eye out. As dedicated as I am to the national pastime, I'm nowhere near committed enough to sit through an entire Giants game, much less crack wise about it. Good luck, gents, now let's Play Ball!
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