Cellar Evacuation Com-...Cellar Evacuation Comp-...Cellar Evacuation Compl-...Cellar...Aw, Eff It

Alright. I'll accept it. Sox-Yanks is pretty big. Dudes across America are gettin' excited for this series, fans are bustin' out their seriously hilarious gear. Television ratings will go through the roof. Good times will be had by many. Especially by those of us watching this, this or this instead of installment one of 27 that these two AL East clubs will meet this year. Okay, not many of you will be watching this one or this two. Hell, maybe even less of you will be watching this three. I, for one, though, am excited for Twins/Royals matchups this year. Yes. The Twinkies opened the season storming diamonds left and right, and will likely march straight through the summer, reaping the rewards of the AL Central division title. Their hitting/pitching combo dominates most foes. And they have certain guys that continue to crush even the loftiest of Royals' optimists every year. His unofficial title as Royal killer, though, may have been passed on to another division foe.

Either way, tonight's Ponson/Perez matchup kicks off Twins/Royals baseball, and it should be a doozy. Neither has pitched well thus far, and each team has a couple of bats approaching hot. Tomorrow night's probable starters are Boof Bonser (who? and, thanks Mr. & Mrs. Bonser) versus Zach Greinke, and Ramon Ortiz takes on Jorge de la Rosa on Sunday. Good times, indeed. But they don't end there. Oh, no, no, no. Tonight's game attendees will receive free stadium blankets and enjoy a Free Fireworks Friday after the pitching duel is complete. And Sunday is a Royals' Friends and Family Day, where, for the low price of $40 American dollars, a fan gets four tickets, four hot dogs, four Pepsis and a GameDay magazine. The fun just never ends.

The real story about this weekend, though, is the stick that squatty # 14 has been showing at the plate as of late. I've been listening to Ryan Lefebvre, Denny Matthews, Splitt & Bob Davis talk about the potential in this guy ever since this went down. And I'll admit, I have periodically been excited about it, as excited as one gets over catcher hype. But, as a Royals fan, one learns to be faithful. One simply has no other choice. Unless one wants to ride the negativity wagon for eternity. No thanks. He's already on pace to break his homerun and RBI season highs, assuming skipper Buddy Bell doesn't give Jason LaRue a ton of starts. Assuming he stays healthy, too.

KC game callers, since the trade, have also developed the tendency of assigning much, if not all, of the responsibility of pitching development on Buck's shoulders. An obvious concept, one might think. Pitching development, however, has not been a resident of Kauffman Stadium since, well, they changed the name to Kauffman Stadium. This is not to say that the current rotation or the current pen is stacked with potential. It's far from it. But the front office continues to make baby steps in the direction of strengthening the pitching staff. Hence, perfect timing for Buck to develop his swing, up his clubhouse respectability in that regard, and continue to nurture relationships with Royals hurlers.

The other part of the trade -- we'll pretend the Mike Wood factor was never in effect -- is this shortstop-turned-third-basemen-turned-rightfielder.

Trust me when I say it's pronounced "Teein'." His stick -- after a brief re-assignment to Omaha late last year -- came alive with fury. His pre-season outfield ability looked very little like an ability of any kind. But he's come around. I was supremely pissed when it looked as though the Royals were going to give Angel Berroa another shot as opening day approached. I couldn't, for the life of me, figure out why they were putting Teahen in an already-crowded outfield when they could just cut their ties with the '03 AL Rookie of the Year and shuffle Teahen into is spot. The addition, however, of Tony Pena, Jr. has been nice. He's currently tied with New York Mets shortstop Jose Reyes for the MLB lead in triples. And he's displayed a sweet glove as well.

Now, if the Royals can just get Mike Sweeney out of his God-awful season-starting slump, keep DeJesus' bat crackin', and get a little more production out of the middle of the order, they'd be halfway home to decency. The rest of course would involve not blowing leads and giving up huge leads early in games, feats the Royals have mastered over the last two years. I'm staying optimistic. I'm watching zero very little Yankees/Sox this weekend, and I will definitely be getting my Boof Bonser on this weekend. Let Operation Climb Out of the Cellar commence.