Showing posts with label Boston Red Sox. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Boston Red Sox. Show all posts

Friday, August 7, 2009

Friday Morning Fracas: Makin' Posts Outta Nothin' At All



Stuff and junk, after the jump.

The Denver Broncos are close to getting a five-year deal signed with first-round pick Knowshon Moreno. And in Kansas City, it appears that the Chiefs are also close to a five-year deal with fifth overall pick Tyson Jackson.

Speaking of Denver, 13,000 strong booed the Broncos last night, leading head Denver idiots Kyle Orton and Josh McDaniels to say things like, "We have good fans," and "I've been around for a while," respectively. Really, Kyle? Really Josh? Did you guys know they just found the Loch Ness monster, too?

Royals fans: If you can't imagine things being worse than this season, then do not click here to read about what's going on down on the farm. Consider yourselves warned.

If you haven't read this headline about nasty ol' Pig Slapi, peep it. It's a good one.

I mentioned yesterday that there was day baseball on the MLB.TVs. Apparently, there's plenty more of that to come. Hip, hip, hooray! for day baseball.

I remember being stoked when it was announced that the Chiefs would be on HBO's "Hard Knocks." Of course, an unnamed colleague of mine promptly rained on my parade by mentioning that every team that'd been on it immediately had a terrible season, which panned out for them, as well as the previously featured Dallas Cowboys and Baltimore Ravens. But...what happens if you put an already shitty team on the program? Like the Cincinnati Bengals? Do they make a Super Bowl run? We shall see.

If you haven't checked in with ol' JoePos recently, he's doing a Yuni watch, and pimping his new book pretty hard core:




Speaking of Joe, put this in your pipe and smoke it.

Oh, boy. We're in for a doozy of a weekend.

And, a giant Gemma Atkinson bikini collection.

Happy Friday, people.
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Friday, July 31, 2009

Deadline Deliberations Deliver Delicious Drama, And Pizza

The non-waiver trading deadline in Major League Baseball passed a couple hours ago, and in contrast to recent years this one actually had some spice. If I have one request of you, the educated House of Georges baseball fan, it's this: be aware that trades will still get made for the next month. Don't be that guy, the one that wonders aloud in a week why the Cubs acquired some dumpy reliever from the Padres. We've been over this.

There was also some news that popped out yesterday, news about a couple of fringe utility guys that may or may not have played for my favorite ballclub, allegedly testing positive in a fake survey test back when steroids were totally legal. I have no idea about any of this, I don't really follow baseball very closely.

WHAT'S GOING ON WITH THE RED SOX? Glad you asked, this team doesn't get nearly the attention lavished upon such large-market juggernauts as the Pittsburgh Pirates and Asheville Tourists. Boston pulled off the deal for the most immediately impactful player, Indians catcher Victor Martinez. After a sluggish '08, V-Mart has rebounded with an All-Star campaign this season (although he's slowed noticeably in the second half).

Martinez will take over nominally from Jason Varitek as the Sox starting catcher, although I doubt he'll don the tools of ignorance more than four times a week. He'll also spell Kevin Youkilis at first and Large Papi (Winstrol-free since 2003!) at DH, as well as providing even more insurance for gimpy Mike Lowell (Youk can slide to third). If that ain't enough versatility for ya, Martinez is also a switch-hitter with power and can recite many Jeff Foxworthy comedy routines. Good guy to have around.

In case you thought Sox GM Theo Epstein was only good for big-boy serious deadline moves, he also provided quite a bit of slapstick over the last few weeks. He designated Julio Lugo for assignment in anticipation of cutting him, except the Cardinals were actively looking for a strikeout-prone shortstop with hands of stone. So Theo shipped Julio to the Lou in exchange for Chris Duncan, who's equally awful only younger and able to get sent down to the farm. Enjoy Pawtucket, Rhode Island. Theo traded a couple of disposable prospects to Pittsburgh for Adam LaRoche, one of the uglier active big-leaguers (even uglier than Duncan and Lugo). Today he capped off this spree with a final swap of LaRoche for Atlanta first-sacker Casey Kotchman, who's closest comparable player is Adam LaRoche.

All in all, not a bad haul, although an actual shortstop would have been nice. I'm ecstatic that Martinez only cost the Sox Justin Masterson and some parts, leaving the franchise's best pitching prospects (Clay Buchholz, Daniel Bard, Michael Bowden and Oil Can Boyd) wearing crimson hosiery.

As for that business from yesterday, I'll leave my comment to Craig Calcaterra, who's not even a Boston fan:

You're not surprised, so please don't pretend you are. The only people who will truly surprise you to be associated with steroids are Derek Jeter, juniors Cal Ripken and Ken Griffey, and dudes like Jason Tyner and whatnot (though guys like him shouldn't surprise you).

You've not been betrayed, so please don't claim to be. You enjoyed the baseball of those years and nothing of value has been taken from you as a result of recent revelations. While it's totally legitimate to be turned off and disappointed and generally depressed about all of this, if your sense of trust has been so violated by all of this steroids business that you actually feel the need to claim "betrayal," you probably need to examine if you're still a fan or not.

And you know this one is going to come up like crazy, so let's be perfectly clear: the Red Sox' championship in 2004 is not tainted. At least no more tainted than the outcome of any other championship won by any other team in at least the past 20 years, not to mention the awards and the regular season games and everything else, so please don't even go there. Baseball had a steroids problem. Not just the Red Sox, not just the Yankees, not just the Orioles, Rangers or A's. As such, to the extent one uses this latest news as a means of singling out the Sox, one is simply showing that they see the entire world through rivalries and not reason.

Now, with that out of the way, you may resume your regularly-scheduled outrage.

ARE THERE ANY TEAMS IN MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL BESIDES THE RED SOX? Not that I'm aware of.

COME ON. WHAT ABOUT THE YANKEES OF NEW YORK CITY? If you insist. Those crazy Bombers got their mitts on utilityman Scott Hairston, who'll share a bench with recently added Eric Hinske.

THE BAY-RAYS WON THE AMERICAN LEAGUE EAST LAST YEAR, DID THEY HELP THEMSELVES AT THE DEADLINE? Tampa tried unsuccessfully to reacquire the "Devil" in their name, thinking it would give them the additional cruelty needed to make a push for the playoffs. Unfortunately, Satan has a full no-trade clause and refused to play on the Gulf Coast of Florida. He'll continue protecting A-Rod in the Yankee lineup.

DID TORONTO EVER TRADE ROY HALLADAY? To say that BJ's GM J.P. Ricciardi overplayed is hand would be a colossal understatement. He asked for a king's ransom for Doc, which is understandable--Halladay is arguably the best pitcher on Earth. But when the bidding war involving the richest teams never materialized (it would have been problematic for Ricciardi to deal within his division to the Red Sox or Yankees anyway), J.P. was unable to land a suitable package from the handful of contenders remaining. The Phillies really wanted him, but they refused to part with all four of their best prospects. The Dodgers, Angels and Rangers also had lines they would not cross.

So Halladay stays put, and Ricciardi is now fucked. He'll be lucky to get half the prospect value this winter when he picks up talks again, and for what? So Halladay can pitch August and September of this season for a team that doesn't want him and fans that don't care? Dumb.

ISN'T THERE ONE MORE TEAM IN THIS DIVISION? Indeed there is, it's the Baltimore Orioles. For a team that once again totally blows, they sure are playing it smart. The O's reaped a fortune in talent when they dealt Miguel Tejada and Erik Bedard a couple years ago, and at this year's deadline they flipped George Sherill (filler from the Mariners in the Bedard deal) to the desperate Dodgers in exchange for a pair of nice prospects. The Baltimore system is loaded with good young arms, the first wave of which was seen Wednesday when Chris Tillman started against the Royals. Catching all those freaks is Matt Weiters, a 6-5 leviathan of a catcher who may someday hit 50 home runs. In a single game. The outfield corners are set for a decade with Adam Jones and Nick Markakis. All they need is a trained assassin to dispatch of Melvin Mora and Aubrey Huff and you've got a scary club on the horizon.

BUT WHAT OF THE REST OF BASEBALL? SURELY MORE ROSTER MOVES WERE MADE TODAY YOU CAN WISE-ASS-I-PHIZE ABOUT?!? Patience, little man. I'll be back with the rest of our deadline happenings soon. Perhaps even by the end of the season, when Midseason Report Cards are due.
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Thursday, May 28, 2009

Baseball in the Daytime: A Little Twinny Twin Twin, Fell-a

Welcome back for another installment of the feature you just can't get enough of. I don't blame you. I'd come back, too. There are two, count 'em, two, games on the sandwich board today, and they both look so enticing, that I think I'll go somewhere else to eat. Not far. Just, you know, further than the jump.

Tampa Bay @ Cleveland, 11:05 Central: The fact that Jesus' favorite metropolis kicks today's day baseball slot off today is fascinating. I want nothing but salvation for the fans of professional sports teams that call Cleveland home, but there's something humorous in the way that things are shaping up at the moment. Here's what could quite possibly happen today: Right-handed Jeff Niemann, who's sporting a 4-3 record and a 4.53 E.R.A., goes out and tosses a gem, while Indians starter, lefty David Huff of the 0-1, 17.55 situtation, gets lit the frank up, and pulled from the game. Angrily, he leaves Progressive Field and has 17 shots of Old Crow before running into Brady Quinn at the neighborhood saloon, who then, half-sauced himself, challenges the pitcher to an alley boxing match. Naturally, Quinn loses, and breaks every bone in his throwing hand in the process. These events promptly hit the local news just in time for the Orlando @ Cleveland 7:30 tip, which the Cavs of course lose, and trade LeBron James within a few short weeks. Watch at least the baseball part of this glory unfold on DirecTV 721 or 722, or listen in on XM 176.

Boston @ Minnesota, 12:10: Elsewhere in the Central, some jackass right-hander named Anthony Swarzak takes the hill for the now-second-place Twins. He's 1-0 wit a 0.00 E.R.A. What a dick. Speaking of cocks, Josh Beckett fondles the bag for the visiting Red Sox. This cornhole's been dilly-dallying around all season, barely scraping together four wins, and only recently getting his E.R.A. down to an even five. He's one of many highly toted kids on my fantasy club that've produced a whole lot of awesome in the way of my five-week losing streak, which is just the pinnacle of good times, I tell you. So I say screw the Twins, and screw Josh Beckett, but if you disagree, you can catch them making out facing off on DirecTV 723 or 724, or listen in on the hot man-to-man frames on XM 177.

That's your pair of afternoon baseball today, folks, and believe it or not, it's nearly half of the games taking place for the entire day. Try not to be a slouch like professional baseballers today and get some work done, will ya'?
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Monday, April 20, 2009

Baseball in the Daytime: 4-20-09



If you like the Orioles or the Red Sox, catch the lone day game details after the jump. You should also be thankful that this ass clown isn't on your roster.

* Baltimore @ Boston, 10:05 Central: The loner gets underway when Mark Hendrickson trots out to the hill to face a division rival. The lefty brings a 1-1 record to the table, and in fact, both clubs are .500 as well with six a piece in both columns. Hendrickson's foe will be Justin Masterson, who gets his first start of the season. Masterson last saw action on Tuesday in relief duty versus Oakland. Seven twenty-one, 722 are your usual DirecTV suspects, while the XM has it on 177.

That's all she wrote for afternoon baseball on 4/20. Leave some green, man. Leave some green.
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Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Baseball in the Daytime: 4-7-09

The second day of this 2009 baseball season only had one contest penciled in on the original docket, but due to a big barrel full of professional-athlete pussies inclement weather, a couple of yesterday's games had to get shoved forward, which I'm guessing means that the teams involved will play on Thursday instead of having an off day. Remember that one time when the NHL cancelled it's New Year's Day game at Ralph Wilson Stadium, 'cause it was too brisk? Or how about the countless times you settled in for a Sunday afternoon of football, only to discover that the games were postponed due to sudden flurries.

Gimme a break. Put on your Under Armor and play ball, already. Today's threesome, however, one click away.

Kansas City @ Chicago, 1:05 Central: Yesterday's scheduled tilt is back on the books, folks, and it promises to be two things: cold, and maybe full of good starting pitching. Gil Meche gets the nod for the Royals; it's Mark Buehrle for the Stockings. Neither of the satellite guides have the game down on their schedule, but if you're in the KC metro area, your tube should have it on FSKC, while your box can bring you the calls via 610 AM.

Tampa Bay @ Boston, 3:05: Yesterday's other "PPD" match has James Shields and Josh Beckett geared to go. You're on your own as to where to find that one.

Milwaukee at San Francisco, 3:05: On the other side of the country, it'll be Jeff Suppan and Tim Lincecum grappling in this battle of non-lefties. Suppan continues to plug along in his career and garner relative success wherever he winds up. He went 10-10 as a Brewer last year; 12-12, and 12-7 the previous two seasons in St. Louis. The home-team Giants know that they have a dynamo in Lincecum, and hope that he'll manage to keep another low E.R.A. this year, like his 2.62 of 2008. XM has this one for ya's. It's on 183.

See there? Easy as pie. Now enjoy. That's an order.
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Saturday, April 4, 2009

Lineup Against the Wall: Boston Red Sox


The ridiculousness of my doing this one, when No. 7 is about the biggest Red Sox homer in the Four Corners area, is beyond belief. But that was the point of this exercise, to get us out of our comfort zones, to challenge our assumptions, to put us in positions where the public at large can laugh at the shallow nature of our analysis.

Babe Ruth's first team after the jump.

The one-time also-rans of Boston have put together one hell of a run this decade--they've won at least 90 games every year since 2002, with the exception of '06. During that time they've also taken home the World Series title twice, in '04 and '07.

Their young GM is probably the best in the game, their fans are passionate to the point of actual rabidity and they have one of the coolest logos in the league. The current club is stacked. They have bats, they have arms, they have last year's AL MVP (Dustin Pedroia) they have prospects who would be stars on other clubs waiting in the minors (Clay Buchholz) and they stand as good a chance as any to win yet another title this year.

But I'm gonna pick them to finish second in the division. Reasons why following starting lineup:

Catcher -- Jason Varitek
First Base -- Kevin Youkilis
Second Base -- Dustin Pedroia
Third Base -- Mike Lowell
Shortstop -- Jed Lowrie
Left Field -- Jason Bay
Center Field -- Jacoby Ellsbury
Right Field -- J.D. Drew
DH -- David Ortiz

Starting Pitchers:

Josh Beckett (R)
Daisuke Matsuzaka (R)
Jon Lester (L)
Tim Wakefield (R)
Brad Penny (R)

Relief Pitchers:

Justin Masterson (R)
Takashi Saito (R)
Hideki Okajima (L)
Manny Delcarmen (R)
Javier Lopez (L)

Closer:

Jonathan Papelbon (R)

Bottom Line: The Red Sox are, as I mentioned earlier, fucking stacked. Rocco Baldelli, who they just picked up this offseason, is a wicked backup with ability pouring out his nostrils who could steal real playing time at any outfield spot. Varitek has seen better days, as has Don't-Say-Steroids Ortiz, but they still have some pop and plenty of guys who are just plain-ass good hitters, like Youk and the aforementioned midget MVP.

But they'll finish second to the New York Yankees for one reason: Mark Teixeira.

If the Sox had picked up Mr. Consistency, I'd have picked them in a heartbeat. He would have been the Manny replacement, the big bat in the middle of the order. The fact that they didn't land him hurt; the fact that he went to the Yankees hurt worse. I could be easily proved wrong by this, but for now...

Projected Finish: 2nd in AL East

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Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Wednesday Whatnot: Coco Crisp, Tecmo Bowl, and Bud Light

It's official. The Kansas City Royals have shipped middle reliever Ramon Ramirez to the Boston Red Sox in exchange for outfielder Coco Crisp. It should be noted that the Royals didn't actually package the pitcher up and put him on a UPS truck. It should also be noted that Crisp's birth name is Covelli. His grandmother began calling him "Co," and his brother coined the full nickname "Coco," allegedly much to his parents' chagrin. Finally it should also be noted that due to a hangover that will not go away, this post has no continuity whatsoever.

Really. I'm sure it's been done four kazillion times, and will continue to be overdone, but I can't help myself: If Crisp plays center for KC, who will be in left?



And in right?



Instead of discussing what losing Ramirez does to the Royals' bullpen, or how Crisp's on-base percentage isn't all that impressive, here's an example of the Chiefs' offensive lines of the early 1980s...



And here's a little Christian Okoye action...



In case you were curious, Len Dawson loved Brian Griese when this was taped; Dan Marino loved his anger. And his hair.



And for no reason whatsoever...



I don't like Bud Light.



At all.



Just wanted that to be noted as well.



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Friday, October 17, 2008

Friday Fiction Fix: "Children"

I arrived at a neighborhood bar last night when game five of the Red Sox-Rays series was 7-0 Tampa in the seventh inning. After half a beer, my friend Mark showed up, and proceeded to talk. A lot. It didn't bother me, but he must've sensed that it did, because he said, "I know this is an important game. Sorry for talking so much." I told him not to worry, that I wasn't really all that interested, and said, "This game's over anyway." What occurred in the final third of that ball game surprised me -- and likely 100% of all viewers -- beyond belief, Boston of course winning with a walk-off J.D. Drew RBI in the bottom of the ninth. I suppose my sentiment was something of a mix between the largely veteran, defending champions that the Red Sox are, and the Ezra Pound "Make it new" that describes the Rays, and their organization's approach to baseball.

Maybe that's a stretch, but fuck it. It works in that today, that series sits at a 3-2 Tampa lead, and we're ready to talk about, if only briefly, Richard Ford and his short story called "Children." Ford hails from Mississipi, and got his M.F.A. in creative writing from U.C.-Irvine in 1970. He spent considerable time writing sports, then moved to the novel form, with periodic dabbles in short fiction. He won a Pulitzer in 1995 for his novel Independence Day. "Children," however comes from his collection of short stories entitled Rock Springs. The stories in this 1987 publication focus largely on the American West, and have somewhat of a barren, dysfunctional motif running through them in terms of the characters and their various situations. His writing is crisp, honest, and open, much like the land in which the stories take place.

"Children" is a story about two young boys that live near the Canadian border, and for circumstantial reasons, have the ability to frequently skip school. On one such afternoon, they do just that.

"I make this a point only because I have thought possibly it was the place iteself, as much as the time in our lives or our characters, that took part in the small things that happened and made them memorable."



The two boys are instructed to make their way to a motel, where they soon discover the interesting twist that lies ahead in their day.

"Don't cause me any fucking trouble, or I'll break you up," one daunting character says to a less timid one.



Later, several characters pass the time and make conversation, attempting to avoid a lingering sense of awkwardness.

"It is a nice atmosphere, though," one says. "I like to be oriented to the light."



"You can't see light with those glasses," says the other..."Why don't you take (them) off?...I don't see why you have to have them on."

Momentarily, they reminisce about an earlier figure, one responsible for them being where they are.

"(He's) not so terrible...You certainly wouldn't think he'd sit in the dark in the middle of the night and pray in a motel. But he does. He's nice, really. He's pretty big, too."



One guy finds himself reconizing a potenial surprise.



"Uh-oh, now. Uh-oh...Here, now. Here he is...This is the big whitefish."



The story vividly details the contrast between youth and age, as the narrator concludes, "I know that now, thought I didn't know it then.



We were simply young."

Richard Ford continues to publish original work, and occasionally edits collections of American short stories. Rock Springs can be purchased here.
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Wednesday, October 1, 2008

Orange County Boogaloo: An Angels-Red Sox Preview

This ain't no Baseball In The Daytime--this is MLB's showcase series and therefore TBS will show all the games under the lights. But this matchup does contain some personal relevance here at the HoG, due to old allegiances. On-again off-again baseball analyst Captain Feverpiss has his take on his Angels, my Red Sox and the state of the elections. Enjoy.

Old No. 7: Your team was eliminated by the Red Sox in 2004 and 2007. Both times the Angels were swept, and both times the Red Sox went on to a world title. When it was confirmed that the matchup was once again Los Anaheim-Boston, what was your reaction? Are you thrilled to get another shot?

Captain Feverpiss: My reaction has been mixed. Have the Red Sox had our number for the past three playoff series? Yes. Have the Red Sox won 7 straight postseason games against us? Yes. That being said, I have much more confidence this year due to our overall supremacy against the Sox. We swept them at home and away for the first time ever. We demoralized Ben Affleck and forced Stephen King to write romance novels. I wouldn't say I'm thrilled to "get another shot," I'd say I'm thrilled we have a stronger team than in years past and that the Sox are limping in a bit. The absence of Manny Ramirez helps as well. I always hated having to pitch to either him or Ortiz (or both) the way they stacked the lineup. Without steroids or Manny, Ortiz has proven that he's not all that dangerous.

7: Who's the most important Angels player in this series? What about for the Red Sox?

Feverpiss: For the Angels I think there is a need for a role player to step up. Who will it be? I don't know. I think we need Garrett Anderson, Mike Napoli, Howie Kendrick or Chone Figgins to step up and help the stars (Vlad, Hunter and Teixeira) carry the load. Role players seem to provide that extra edge in a closely matched battle like this. Vlad has not been a big component in the playoffs throughout his career. Hopefully Teixeira will be as good as he's been in the regular season. In my mind, the difference maker will be the Angels' ability to score runs. I think it will be up to a role player to punch out of the mold and get us that extra spark.

Dustin Pedroia is the one to watch on the Red Sox. He's a catalyst that can get their offense moving quickly. If Pedroia can do what he's done all season, get on base and score runs, the Angels are in for a long series.

7: How do you think the new veterans (Torii Hunter and Mark Teixeira) will hold up in the crucible of the ALDS? What about the kids (Erick Aybar and Howie Kendrick)?

Feverpiss: I see no reason for concern that the "crucible" will test any of these players. Hunter has been there before, many times. He's a guy with a good sense of humor and should keep things light on the younger guys. Teixeira hasn't been tested on this stage, however all accounts point to the fact that the guy is an adult, a diplomat, and has ice water in his veins. Howie Kendrick would be a guy who I might be concerned about a little, but he's so damn good at making solid contact that I think he'll keep a cool head and do his job.

7: What are you most worried about in Game 1?

Feverpiss: Getting out of the gates early and scoring runs. We have to strike early and often. I know Frankie Rodriguez had a great year and earned some sort of record, but I don't want to see the ball in his hand in Game 1. I need a blow out of epic proportions to be comfortable.

7: You guys have the best road record in the majors--in fact, you went 50-31 both in Anaheim and away from your park. Does this team have any concerns about travelling to Fenway this year or are Games 3 and 4 just run-of-the-mill contests?

Feverpiss: Game 3 will not be just a "run-of-the-mill" contest. Every game these guys play will be vitally important to them and regardless of the Fenway dominance this season, it will be no easy contest. Game 4, if necessary, will be crucial because it will mean that we are either putting the Sox away, or setting a positive tempo for the plane ride home for game 5.

7: Will K-Rod be a Met next season? If so, will Scott Shields close? Jose Arredondo?

Feverpiss: Shields should get it due to seniority. Arredondo is great, but unproven. Arredondo will make a great set up guy next season. Look for Jepsen during the series as well. He may be a key bullpen guy next season.

If there is any justice in the world, K-Rod will be a Met next season and never make another postseason appearance in his career.

7: Is Ervin Santana's resurgence for real? Do you think Joe Saunders will be a sturdy playoff starter? Are you guys going with a four-man rotation or will Lackey come back for Game 4?

Feverpiss: I believe Ervin's resurgence is the real deal. He's always had great stuff, he just always seemed to fall short of expectations as if he was overwhelmed. Maybe the correct analogy would be that Santana was overwhelmed like Jim J. Bullock at his first bukkakke.

Saunders is solid. He won't strike many out (last Sunday's 9 K performance was a fluke), but he'll eat innings and give the Angels a chance to win.

Lackey will be back for game 4, Scoscia doesn't have much confidence in Garland or Weaver right now.

7: In your opinion, does Scoscia manage differently in the playoffs? Does he run differently, take more/fewer chances, use his bullpen strangely? Some guys are better regular season managers than postseason or vice versa, what's your take on your skip?

Feverpiss: I think Mike plays a slightly more aggressive tilt in the postseason. He doesn't necessarily gamble, but he takes an extra base here and there that he normally wouldn't in the regular season. Of course, he will always preach aggressive running on the basepaths, however Mike will tend to really try to take advantage of opportunities and try to open games up in the postseason.

7: I know I asked you earlier in the year about this team versus the 2002 Angels that won it all. How do you personally feel going into October this year, versus the other years you've made the playoffs? Are you more confident? This team seems awfully solid.

Feverpiss: There is much more expectation on this club. We basically went wire to wire, and we are much more talented. No doubt this team has a different style. The 2002 team had a totally different make up and won because they fought hard, not because of sheer talent.

7: OK, I need some predictions from you. Give me a winner for the other three series, the league championships and the World Series.

Feverpiss: Angels vs. Red Sox: Angels in 4.

Chicago vs. Tampa: Tampa in 5.

LA vs. Chicago: Cubs in 3.

Philly vs. Millewaukee: Philly in 4.

ALCS: Angels in 6.

NLCS: Cubs in 7.

World Series: Angels in 7.

Presidential Election: Obama by 8.

If the bailout is passed: Depression for 6 years.

If no government bailout takes place and companies are allowed to fail: Nasty 2 year recession.

7: I personally can't see an 8-point spread in the popular vote. I don't care what the polls say now, that's a pretty massive blowout when you consider where the popular vote has been over the last 20 or so years. If Obama wins it'll be by two or three. I look at electoral votes--if the vote were today I think Obama would take just over 300, with 270 needed to win. But if McCain keeps fucking up his campaign, it could be an electoral massacre with 340 or more for Barack. He's up right now in all the big swing states and could win Missouri, Indiana, North Carolina and Colorado as well. What does McCain have to do to keep it close? What can Obama do to put it away?

Feverpiss: If McCain were smart he'd try to figure out a way to flip flop and start trashing the bail out. I know that would be nearly impossible, but if he wants to win over the independent or swing voter--say no to the bailout.

If Obama wants to put it away, he should start reading Austrian economics and start quoting Mises and Hayek. He should let the McCain camp implode on itself and start talking about fiscal discipline, not entitlement expansion.

7: Ten four. I'll go this way:

ALDS: Red Sox in 5, White Sox in 5.

NLDS: I already took the Cubs and Phillies.

ALCS: White Sox in 6.

NLCS: Cubs in 4.

World Series: South Side over North Side, 7 games.
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Thursday, August 28, 2008

Baseball in the Daytime: 8-28-08

About the only way I'd tune in to some daytime baseball today would be the same way I typically watch golf on TV: low volume, stretched on the couch, eyes closed, and nobody home. But that's just me. I'm sure there are some cats out there that are into the teams playing today. I ain't one of them, and I's sorry for you if you is.

Two contests on the menu today, and they'll be served charred, as in beyond well done, with a side of boring, and a twist of nothing.

Red Stockings @ Pin Stripes, 12:05 (Central): Okay. At least the pitching matchup can be called an exciting appetizer. It's Mike Mussina and his 16 wins for the home crowd, and Jon "Lefty" Lester of the 12-5 variety for the visitors. Boston's won three in a row and keeps trying to narrow the gap between themselves and the first-place AL East Bay Rays. The Bombers sit 10 and-a-half back. Ultimately, who cares. Last Sox game at Yankees Stadium? Big deal. Let's wrap this season up today so both clubs can watch the playoffs from home. Now that's a special! Catch it Sox style (722) or Yanks version (723) over on DirecTV. XM carries it on channel 176.

Cincinnati @ Houston, 1:05: Talk about a sleeper. Brandon Backe'll toe the slab for the Astros. His counterpart is also a righty, and goes by the name of Aaron Harang. Backe's 8-12, while Harang is 4-13. These guys are 16, and 25 games out, respectively, in the NL Central. Yikes. DirecTV has this one on 724, while XM calls the shots on 189.

And that's Baseball in the Daytime today, kids. Feel free to watch cartoons. Or scrambled porn. Either one'll be more exciting.
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Friday, August 22, 2008

Midseason Baseball Report: AL East

We're stretching this "Midseason" theme to comical proportions. The current working definitions at the House of Georges World Headquarters:

1. A point equidistant between the beginning of a season and its end.
2. Give or take a month from Definition No. 1
3. Sometime before rosters expand Sept. 1
4. Give or take a month from Definition No. 3
5. On the eve of a Carl Pavano start.

That's right, sports fans, tomorrow marks the season debut of one Carl Anthony Pavano, the Yankees' big free agent catch in 2004. Pavano inked a four-year, $40 million pact and then promptly took the next four years off. For that $40 million in Steinbrenner loot, Carl has contributed 111 innings, 60 strikeouts and five wins. C.C. Sabathia was traded to Milwaukee six weeks ago and has accumulated 73 innings, 69 strikeouts and eight wins in that span.

Pavano is making his third start since June 27--that's June 27, 2005. I'll be throwing a party, if anyone wants to come over. If ever there was an official white flag on a baseball season, the Yankees' decision to hand the ball to Pavano is it. The streak of not missing the playoffs since 1994 is finally, mercifully, magically, over.

So let's talk about the AL East, shall we? Joining us today is old friend Rustoleum, a lifelong Yankees fan and sophisticated baseball connoisseur. You could say he's slightly less excited about Pavano's start than I am. He also employs a literary technique known as sarcasm quite liberally--brace yourself. You can find the AL Central report here, and the AL West version here.


Old No. 7: Let's talk about our favorite division, the one typically dominated by your Yankees and my Red Sox. It's being led by that historically ass-kicking franchise that plays down in...Tampa? What's going on here? Why are the Bay-Rays still getting it done, months and months after we thought they'd fade?

Rustoleum: Tampa has become the A’s and Twins of the Al East. Right now they are just loaded with young studs in all facets of the game. Their pitching has just been superior. I’m sure their tremendous fan support at home plays a huge role as well. I know I always got fired up pitching softball in front of crowds that large… at Lee Martinez park in Fort Collins. Though I thought they would certainly fade due to lack of maturity, but pitching has just been so huge from starters to the pen. It’s certainly not the only case of pitching carrying offense (see D-Backs, Dodgers). Injuries to Longoria, Crawford, and Percy will certainly play a huge roll in where they finish and I’m thinking they still might fall short. But with two number ones in Kazmir and Shields, you’ve always got a chance.

Old No. 7: Meanwhile, the defending champs are just hanging around. They're not winning much (15-13 since the break), but they're still not bad (+117 run differential, 1st in the AL in batting, 6th in ERA). I have my theories, but why do you think the Red Sox have taken a step back?

Rustoleum: Have they really taken a step backwards? Third best record in the AL seems pretty good to me. But if you’re asking why they aren’t the best team in the league, there are two big reasons: Bullpen and Beckett. The bullpen has been an absolute dumpster fire, outside of Paps, and it certainly doesn’t help when starting pitching has been going only 3 innings. I heard Alex Cora was warming up the other night, I’m sure he has electric stuff. It seems like teams have gotten used to Oki-doki, who was huge last year, and Timlin is lights out regularly.

Beckett just hasn’t been as sharp as he was last year, I’m sure in part to a little hangover from last year. But there is only one October, and when the lights are bright the Sox will be the toughest out of the playoffs. At least it’s not 2006, remember the five game sweep?

Old No. 7: I have no idea what you're talking about, I'm still hung over from celebrating two titles this decade. Now let's get to your boys in the Bronx. Hank Steinbrenner conceded the season last week, and you're double-digit games behind the young Bay-Rays. Sidney Ponson is an effective part of your rotation, Richie Sexson was on the roster until just a few days ago, and best of all your scheduled starter for Saturday is Carl Pavano. Let's hear your thoughts.

Rustoleum: I’d like to use this time to talk about my fantasy baseball team. I have very few Yankees, which is a big plus. I do have Mariano, who’s a Hall of Famer, and Johnny Damon is having his best offensive year since coming over from the Evil Empire. I love that he’s moving back to center, his gun is one of the most feared in baseball. Did I mention my fantasy team was in first place and I’m gunning for my fourth title in five years? The Bronx did host the All-Star Game this year and I hear we’re the favorites to Get C.C. Sabathia next year. Remember when the Yankees were unwilling to part with Melky, Phil Hughes, and Ian Kennedy to get Johan? Those three play a lot right now and last I heard the Mets were in first. The Yankees are old and might be in a lot of trouble for years to come.

Old No. 7: I hate Canada, but the Blue Jays are quietly turning in another quietly decent season. Who are we kidding? They suck. They have a big payroll, because their owner is heavily involved in both whiskey distilling and the trafficking of sex slaves from Laos. Why can't the Jays get over these days?

Rustoleum: Remember when we used to do shots of whiskey when I would strike someone out in softball and talk about Brenda’s obsession with ladyboys from Laos? Those were the days. I heard Toronto was considering moving to Montreal and having the team learn French. I just don’t like the Jays, their problems mainly revolve around a lack of pitching and a lack of offense. The Jays need to take a page from the Rays, build from within and stop overpaying for douchebags like B.J. Ryan, David Eckstein, and Lyle Overbay.

Old No. 7: More importantly, are Roy Halladay and Vernon Wells traitors to their native United States for signing contract extensions in Toronto?

Rustoleum: They really aren’t traitors, they just like the health care benefits. Wells knows first hand, he’s spent more time on the DL recently than he’s spent active. The Jays were wise to lock up Halladay, Wells maybe not so much. The Jays have solid prospects coming along, such as Adam Lind and David Purcey. They can get there, but like the Yankees, you have to do it from within.

Old No. 7: Finally, we get to Baltimore. Both you and I have mined the Orioles all season for fantasy players on hot streaks--we're currently profiting from Melvin Mora and Jeremy Guthrie. Other than stat-whore goodies, what's the point of the Orioles these days? When will they turn it around?

Rustoleum: I really like the direction the Orioles are heading. I think the Bedard and Tejada trades stole awesome prospect that have already contributed like Adam Jones and Luke Scott. They have decent pitching coming up, like Garrett Olson and Radhames Liz, to complement Guthrie. This is a team that could really benefit by overpaying for a pitcher like C.C. and dumping awful Daniel Cabrera. That guy is among the worst pitchers on earth. They’ll get Chris Ray back to solidify the bullpen. If they hold on to Brian Roberts, the rest of the division should watch out.

Old No. 7: I know you've been watching a little bit of the Olympics. Are you as impressed as I am with the men's trampoline event and Chinese champion Dong Dong? Beyond Dong's prodigious feats of bounce, what are your impressions of Canadian female trampoliner Karen Cockburn? She can be a little rough on the ascent but she's smooth coming back down.

Rustoleum: I think the best part about the Olympics are the obscure sports. Fuck basketball and track, give me team handball, badminton, archery, and especially trampoline. There’s nothing like watching a bunch of washed up gymnasts make one more run at Olympic glory. Who hasn’t thought about their Dong-Dong bouncing up and down until the Cockburns? I know Banky had that problem last year. What I want to know is why the announcers for NBC have changed the name of shuttlecock to just shuttle for badminton? Are the scared to say cock? Would they just say Karen Burn or Karen Privatepartsburn? Adam Jones will always be Pacman, I’ll always call Isiaih Rider J.R., and it will always be the shuttlecock.
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Monday, August 11, 2008

Baseball In The Daytime: 8-11-08

On Saturday night at Coors Field, I had a lot of fun. Even though the home team lost, I got a chance to heckle Brian Giles mercilessly. Giles turned down a deal to the Red Sox last week, passing on a chance to play in the postseason for the first time. He's rather stay in last place. So I called him a bum and a loser and he went 0-for-5. Good times.

Much has been made about Manny Ramirez's actions just before the trade deadline, what many see as him quitting on the Red Sox. Manny was traded to the Dodgers, and all of a sudden he's hitting like crazy, hustling, and his "aching" knees seem perfectly healthy. On Saturday, Buster Olney posted this on his blog:

These are observations made only with the benefit of 20-20 hindsight, and not meant to be a criticism of Bud Selig. Nobody in baseball is conditioned to deal with the possibility that a player might willfully become a cancer on his team in pursuit of a contractual change. But privately, as the smoke has cleared, many folks within the game believe that what might have taken place with Ramirez represents a threat greater to the core tenet of baseball competition than any player ingesting steroids -- "At least those guys were trying to get better for themselves and the team," said one GM -- and perhaps as great as the Pete Rose and Black Sox betting scandals.

Now I'll agree Manny's actions were shameful. Any player that does not appear to give full effort toward winning should be benched, fined and publicly lambasted. But why is there not a similar outcry over what Giles did? Why is choosing to play for a lousy team and spurning a winning one any different than the petulant tantrums of Manny Ramirez?

But that's enough deep thought, let's get to the sunshine hardball...

Pittsburgh @ NY Mets, 11:10 Mountain It's always interesting to see what happens to dominant pitches as they get a little older. Some, like Nolan Ryan, just stay dominant. Some, like The Rocket and The Unit, maintain much of their bite but see their ERAs climb a little and their strikeouts decline. Some, like Kevin Brown, simply go away.

And then you have guys like Pedro Martinez. He was the finest pitcher on the planet at the turn of the millennium, an untouchable artiste. His filthy stuff was matched only by his shocking bravado and Jheri curls. But then Pedro milked one last big contract out of the Mets and fell apart. His starts are less appointments than little surprises--"Hey, Pedro's pitching today." He can barely register 90 on the gun, he tires quickly, and his breaking pitches just sort of roll. It's a little sad, but at least he's out making a living, as opposed to swimming in Kevin Brown's pool full of stolen money. Zach Duke goes up against Pedro today at Shea.

Washington @ Milwaukee, 12:05 As the Brew Crew tries to hold on in both the NL Central and wild-card races, the Nats are playing out the string. Today the start a kid named Garrett Mock. You'd think I would make sport of that handle, but you'd be wrong. Nothing to Mock here. The Brewers go with Dave Bush, whose Spanish name is Arbusto. Play Ball!

Update: Upon doing a little research, I discovered that Brian Giles actually has playoff experience. Quite a bit, matter of fact. He played on the excellent Indians teams that went to the dance from 1996-98, and his Padres snuck in to the NL postseason in '05 and '06. He has a .208 lifetime October average with no homers in 29 games.

My point still stands. If you're satisfied with a career that peaked with four at-bats in the '97 World Series loss to the Marlins, you're playing for the wrong reasons. San Diego is beautiful and its ladies are magnificent. But you can live there in the offseason and live there for the rest of your life. If you're afraid of playing for a good team, you're a loser.

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Friday, August 1, 2008

Baseball in the Trey Time: Barely Managing?

Welcome, one and all, to another long-winded chat between Cecil and I about baseball. We're considering making this an annual tradition, one in which we gather 'round the AC coil out back and burn ants with magnifying glasses in the heat of July. There's guaranteed to be lots of ass-crack sweat. And lemonade. Today's topic? The skip.

Bankmeister: A little over a year ago, you and I spoke at some length regarding what we called "America's pasttime of the past." Given that we grew up absorbing baseball with our fathers, I thought it made for an interesting conversation, and made for good inspiration for our second chat. The position of manager, though, has been on my brain quite a bit of late. Guys like Joe Maddon down in Tampa Bay, guys like Clint Hurdle and his success in Denver last year, specifically. But the manager position of our childhood always fascinated me and still does. The quirkiness of Billy Martin, and Tony LaRussa when he was with the As, along with Joe Torre when he managed Atlanta come to mind. Two guys that really intrigued me were Sparky Anderson and Tommy Lasorda. I'm curious -- has the importance of manager in MLB changed? If so, is it for the better or the worse?

Cecil: I think what's changed is our appreciation of the job of manager -- and the growing respectability of statistical analysis has, to a large extent, been the catalyst.

It used to be that a manager whose team won was automatically good. Credit was given to, say, Billy Martin for "getting the most out of his guys," playing the right hunch at the right time, etc.

Now, Billy Martin lost with plenty of good teams. And when he did win, you could certainly make the argument that he was doing so with Yankees squads loaded with talent (Reggie Jackson, Thurman Munson, Graig Nettles, Ron Guidry), quality role players (Mickey Rivers, Bucky Dent) and veteran leadership (Munson again, who was practically a manager himself). So while he certainly took credit for those squads -- and bashed all of us stat-lovin' eggheads in the process any chance he got -- it's not like he was doing anything particularly special. He filled out a lineup card and threw tantrums, just like every manager since John McGraw.

Not to pick on Billy specifically, even though he seemed like a world-class prickface, but he kind of epitomizes that old-school managerial "personality" to me. A guy who got credit that he maybe didn't wholly deserve.

I mean, come on -- you or I could have managed Sparky Anderson's 1984 Tigers team to a World Series.

B: Interesting. Is that to say then, that our appreciation of the job has declined, that we've come to some consensus that it's not that difficult of a job? If that's the case, why are managers always the fall guys? Is it solely because a GM or an owner has to show its fan base that something is being done to right things, even if it's secretly not all that substantial?

C: By no means do I wish to denigrate the job of Major League Baseball Manager. It certainly does take a lifetime of constant study to stand on the dugout's top step, spit seeds and say "we're in a rut right now" at the post-game presser. Sometimes they'll even pull a -- shudder -- double switch, and we all know what kind of preparation and training that requires.

Sarcasm aside, the fact that we've all kind of come to the realization that being a manager is a lot easier than, say, being a good player, or a lawyer, or a really competent short order cook, is exactly the same reason the manager is the fall guy. Because he can be. Because you can find another career minor leaguer just as capable of saying "yessir, boss" to the GM and filling out a lineup card.

And yes, absolutely that's why it happens. Fans want action -- they don't live the world of baseball like players and coaching staffs do, they don't care whether the bullpen is wracked by injuries or if the star is doggin' it on the sly. They want someone fired. And you can't fire the players, or the GM, or the owners. Even though Rockies fans wish that wasn't the case.

B: Okay. Since we've agreed that we're all only secondary Rockies fans, what about the Cubs? I'm going to assume that you don't recall much of the Leo Durocher or Lee Elia eras. Correct me if I'm wrong, of course.

Assuming that's the case, I'll assign you the daunting task of breaking down Cubs managers in your lifetime. Can you make the argument that some were better than others? If so, can you do it without counting solely on the won/loss columns? We'll start with Jim Frey. Discuss.

C: Jim Frey was a nice old fella who rode a fantastic effort from Rick Sutcliffe to the NL pennant...series, where they lost to the fucking Padres. I got a little sick in my mouth just now. He didn't last too long after '84, as I recall.

B: Then Gene Michael:

C: Gene Michael and Don Zimmer will get lumped in together, because they both presided over bad teams with little or no personality. Sometime around Zimmer's tenure they also had some ancient old guy for a little while, I think. God, those teams were awful. No wonder Cubs fans loved Ryne Sandberg with such outsized fervor -- he was literally the only reason to watch them, other than Old Style.

B: Jim Riggleman:

C: Jim Riggleman encapsulates the notion I'm trying to get across: he's a career baseball guy who's had a (very) little bit of success and a whole lot of failure, but keeps getting work in the big leagues. You can't tell me that Jim Riggleman is a better or worse manager than 85 percent of the guys currently holding down jobs, which is only reflective of how many mediocre skips there are out there.

B: Don Baylor:

C: I could write basically the same thing about Baylor, but he at least seemed to be something of a bat whisperer. Where he went, teams hit. And he was a decent fella, which counts in his favor, and also was hit by more pitches than anyone in baseball history. As a strategist, though? An innovator? A great baseball mind, if such a thing exists? Not really.

B: Dusty Baker:

C: Ah, but Dusty -- Dusty is something else. He came to Chicago with a reputation as a real sharpie, because he always seemed to be leading patchwork Giants teams with only one real star to the playoffs. That particular set of scales fell from our eyes quickly, didn't it? He turned out to be a pitcher-destroying baseball cro-mag who had some sort of insane aversion to runners "clogging up the basepaths." And his goddamn kid was everywhere. I honestly think Dusty Baker might be mildly insane.

B: Lou Piniella:

C: Lou was never one of my favorites. I always thought of him as something of a fraud. Why, I don't really know...maybe it was his tenure in Tampa Bay, or the fact that he always had Seattle squads that were absolutely loaded. I wanted the Cubs to hire Girardi. Right now, though, I love the guy. Second coming of Casey Stengel.

B: Okay. I think those are good analyses, and particularly, I agree with you on the Piniella front; I think, for reasons I can't explain, that fraud is a perfect word to describe him. The guy/point I want to focus on though, is Riggleman. It seems to me that -- and yes, you're right about him somehow equating to 85 percent of the other guys out there. Of that pack of n'er achievers, it seems that the Rigglemans are like the weeds in a healthy backyard; a few of them pop up every season, but once they perenially annoy you, you kill them off permanently. The point is that I'm stunned he's still around and employed in Major League Baseball.

Back to the win/loss column, though. How do you explain Clint Hurdle and the Rockies last year? It's not like they showed significant improvement over the course of consecutive seasons, and then in 2007, everybody expected a World Series campaign out of them. Or even Piniella. Why can either of these guys get a shockingly good season out of their club that, minor changes aside, wasn't very impressive in the most recent years. What's to say that you or I, as you put it with Sparky's '84 Tigers, couldn't study stats like fiends, then perch atop the steps, spit seeds and fill out cards?

C: Oh, I don't think there would be anything to stop us -- other than the world of Major League Baseball, which doesn't want dodgy blog-types crawling out of our holes and taking jobs away from ex-backup catchers.

As far as Clint...well, I wanted to like the guy. But there's no way he can take credit for that run -- OK, sure, every move he made down the stretch worked out, yes, and that was a big part of it, but that's not managerial genius, that's just the roulette wheel. Every move he made earlier in that season seemed to be encased in a thick blubber of Stupid. Balanced against each other, it works out to being average.

He's one of those Baylor types that makes a good hitting coach -- even though, unlike Don B., he couldn't do it himself -- but he's also got a touch of the "if you didn't play the game, you don't know what you're talking about" attitude to him. Which pisses me off. Particularly when he's excusing 1. bad baseball or 2. the Rockies' ownership group, which evidently thinks he's Shanahanian.

B: Roulette wheel, huh? So success in the bigs is a game of bounced balls and spinning wheels finding each other at the right time in the spheres of cosmic randomness?

C: Well, when you say it like that, yeah, that is kinda it. That and having a good team.

It's like Blanche said about Sciosciaball. It works great -- providing that you have the big bats to clean the bases. Hurdle used to play small ball, hustle ball as much or more than just about anyone, and the Rockies still stank. Then they grew Holliday, Atkins, Hawpe etc. Funny how having big league position players made him a much smarter manager.

B: Okay. Well let's stay in this decade and look at our three favorite House of Georges clubs. We'll start with Old No. 7's Red Sox and Terry Francona. He spent four years with the Phillies, and they were never even a .500 ball club. Then he Rigglemans around for four years, and plop -- winds up skipping the Sox. Before Francona, Grady Little inherited a pretty good club from Jimy Williams, but then bam -- two titles. The Sox had a pretty darn good club, but couldn't quite hit the bull's eye, then they do it twice (in convincing fashion) in four years under Francona's watch. What's the ratio? Loaded team, decent manager? Average team, good manager? Or do you give the front office all of the credit for continuously bringing in the sticks, the gloves, and the Tommy Johns?

C: The exact calculus you request escapes me, but then, math was never my subject. More a lunch period kinda guy, I guess.

I think that a good team can make a bad manager look average or above (see Little, Grady, right up until the denouement), and a moderately competent manager looks like a genius with a great squad (Casey Stengel, Joe Torre, Billy Martin, Terry Francona, and on and on and on). These days, with the way modern baseball is organized, I think that yes, you have to give the front office as much credit, in most cases, as you do the managerial staff. Like I keep saying, any one of us HoG farmers could fill out a lineup card and spit seeds -- but navigating the financial trapeze of big league ball, keeping a farm system humming along and making sure everyone in the organization's Ts are dotted, those require a more specific, hard-to-find skill set.

You can find a Jim Riggleman in just about every minor league park in America. Can you locate a Billy Beane in every organization? A Theo Epstein?

B: Okay. So in your estimation, Epstein deserves the Boston cheddar for the two recent titles, and only a few shreds go to Francona. What about your Cubbies? Does Jim Hendry take the regular-season success of this year, and Piniella gets the same slice as Francona? Is this formula of recognition applicable to successful/improving teams around the horn? And do they equally split the criticism if the club isn't doing well? Or do we revert to the old front-office-is-fine-it's-management-that-sucks adage when a team is flailing? And to answer your questions: No. You certainly can't.

C: I should say, before I completely devalue the job of manager, that there is a specific area where a lifetime in baseball, playing the company man, is a huge assist: dealing with the team itself. And that's where the rubber meets the road for our purposes. You and I might be able to approximate the decisions of a Riggleman on a game-to-game basis, but obviously no collection of major league ballplayers is going to listen. A truly good manager excels in this area, beyond any sense of strategic acumen.

Which is why I'd say that Francona gets more than a little ched for the Series wins. He has the touch in the clubhouse, keeps things light, etc. I don't know if Piniella gets quite that slice--he's much more of a self-salesman, so it's hard to tell from the outside whether or not he has that managerial je nais se quois (which literally means "I do not know"). I suspect he does in differing degrees.

By that I mean, on a young and relatively crappy team finding its way (the Rays formerly known as Devils), he's applying gas to the clubhouse and looking to sneak out in the fiery aftermath when no one's paying attention. When he's with a good, veteran squad ('90 Reds, the Cubs right now) he's a better manager, keeps things on a muchmore even keel.

As far as applying this "formula" that we've been concocting -- I don't think there's a set way of evaluating this for every team and front office situation across the board. Everyone's set-up is different: Epstein and Beane do things one way, Dan O'Dowd does them another, Jim Bowden consults a magic 8-ball, etc. I tend to think, at least in baseball, that it's more appropriate to blame the front office and ownership, given the nature of the game.

B: Pure genius. So Lou wouldn't be a good fit for the Royals, then, but if a job opening in Arizona suddenly came about, he'd be relatively successful?

Of course said "formula" can't be applied across the league. And I agree with blame being placed on the front office and ownership. I guarantee you most every Royals fan (over the last 10-12 years) would tell you the same. When David Glass took over ownership, things -- whether they were a coincidence or not -- began to fall apart. They got worse, and worse, and worse, until, perhaps, Glass got sick of hearing about it from the fans and the media, and everyone in between.

The problem was, that under (former) GM Allard Baird, no skipper could succeed, even with the talent Baird was occasionally nabbing. Glass finally decides to go a different direction, hires Dayton Moore, and he hammered out like 14 trades or something crazy right away. Then he gets Trey Hillman to fill out the card and spit seeds, and the Royals have one of the best first halves of a season the franchise has seen in some time. It would appear that Hillman is doing the same things for which you say Francona deserves his cheese.

Obviously, the Royals still have a long way to go, but assuming that they'll get a good chunk of the way there, it would be interesting to assess the credit divvying. Say they contend for a wild card spot next year, and say they win the Central in '10. How much goes to Moore for assembling the talent and the coaches, and how much goes to Hillman for being the company man, getting his players to listen and adhere to his strategy?

C: Well...it's tough to measure exactly who gets which amount of credit, but I'm sticking with my theory -- the front office should get the majority of blame when things go badly -- assuming they haven't adequately supplied the on-field staff with the players they need -- and also the lion's share of credit when things go well. I don't know much about Hillman, other than that he seems like a solid baseball guy who gets along well with his players, and aren't those exactly what we've claimed to be the best traits a skipper can have?

But it would be foolish to assume that there isn't anyone out there who could do much the same thing with the same group of guys. Talent trumps all.

B: They are. But what do you imagine the selection process is like? How do the Cubs nab an old curmudgeon like Piniella for their largely ready-for-contention lineup versus Moore going to Nippon, Japan to take a guy that just won a championship over there and decide he's the fit to put this young up-and-coming club on the right track? And for that matter, how did Epstein ascertain that Francona was his guy? Like I mentioned, his numbers with Philly were not that impressive.

C: The process itself? Shitfire. Names in a hat? Darts? I mean, a certain amount of guesswork is involved, but I would imagine that a lot of these guys get their first shot(s) because of how they were as players -- heady, good in the clubhouse, patient, etc. Joe Girardi, for example. Francona, too, although I'm too lazy to look up his career...he played in Philly, didn't he? I'm getting old. Piniella too, to an extent -- although he was a better player than either of those guys, he still had that red-ass mentality. GMs must imagine that carries over, and why wouldn't they? Anyone hiring Chuckie Carr for a manager's job these days?

That, I suppose, is just another reason to give credit up top -- the GM is the guy who has to fit the manager to the club, and not vice versa. No one builds their ballclub around a manager...well, someone might have in 1928, but we have telephones and internet pornography these days. We're a more advanced civilization.

B: Good points. All of them. So we've mentioned 1928, circa 1988, and a bit of the era surrounding 2008. What about 2038? What will be in store for the card filler/seed spitter 20 years from now? Will the position be less important than ever? non-existent? Will we see more Rosesque player/managers or GMs working out of the dugout or will it pretty much be the same?

C: I think it's going to be pretty much the same -- but then, I used to think that rotary phones were the height of technological advancement. I doubt we'll see any more player-managers...let's face it: Rose poisoned that well pretty thoroughly.

And I just think the day-to-day physical demands of playing modern baseball necessitate the separation of the two jobs. They never lifted weights or watched film in the old days, just cracked open beers and went huntin' for broads, so it's not like Petey couldn't handle the job alone. Shit, what did he need to do besides pencil himself into the lineup card every day? Now, he'd have to meet with the media and say all the right things after a game, be politic, etc. I just don't see how we can get back to that.

The Connie Mack-style suit and hat in the dugout, though, that I could see on a rebound.

B: Alright. We've agreed that the front offices and the ownerships deserve the credit for success, and the disgrace for failure. Let's attempt to put it aside, though, just for a moment, so that we may assess the skippers of our favorite clubs, and pretend that they're solely responsible. Give me a grade, if you will, for last year's season-ending record versus each team's 2008 performance if the season ended yesterday.

Boston Red Sox
2007: 96-66; .593 winning percentage (WSchamps)
2008 record through July: 61-47; .565

Chicago Cubs
2007: 85-77; .525 winning percentage
2008 record through July: 63-44; .589

Kansas City Royals
2007: 69-93; 426 winning percentage
2008 record through July: 49-54; .454

C: OK. Pretending that the manager is solely responsible, I say...

Boston: A. Uh, because they won the World Series in four straight last year and are flirting with a .600 winning percentage. They may be lagging a tad in the standings, but nobody thinks they're out of it.

Chicago: B+. Because they've clearly improved over last year. This is a case where it's hard to give the manager a ton of credit, but hey, we're pretending. So Sweet Lou earns his high B.

Kansas City: A++++. That isn't even a real grade. But Hillman deserves every bit honor for that extra .28 of winning percentage. Go Royals.

In conclusion, I'd just like to offer my skills as a manager to any club out there preparing to hire a Jim Riggleman. My qualifications? Love of baseball, peanuts, spitting and tight pants. I've occasionally thrown a fit in front of a roomful of reporters, and I have absolutely no issue giving professional athletes ridiculous, childish nicknames.
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Baseball in the Trade Time: Snot on the Ball II

Welcome to the inaugural 2nd post of “Snot on the Ball.” Here we will discuss the relevance of our nation’s pastime, the pennant races, trades, farm systems, socio-economic systems, and most of all, why all of this is important. That being said, your author understands the “rough focus” of this blog revolves around a rivalry between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Denver Broncos. Since there appears to be no chance at a Chiefs Super Bowl victory in the next decade, I believe I have been brought aboard to mock and ridicule in the absence of a 2nd Kansas City homer. Thank you for stopping by. Your comments are welcome.

Hello again! This week has been a tremendous stew of rumor and intrigue, hasn’t it? There were manny rumors floating about, mostly concerning the disgruntled Boston Red Sox left fielder Manny Ramirez. According to Old No. 7, this is nothing new. Seven has been a part of the Red Sox Nation since 2003’s tragic “Aaron Fucking Boone” incident, and in his words, “I like Manny, he got us 2 rings, but it may be time to go.” We’ll touch on this later, but first let’s discuss the other moves made in the last 24 hours. Shall we?

First up was the hated New York Yankees. Looking for a steady bat to replace the injured Jorge Posada, the Yanks scored a sweet little deal that almost nobody saw coming. In sending Kyle Farnsworth to Detroit, New York picked up certain Hall of Famer Ivan “Pudge” Rodriguez. This was a surprise to many, and certainly strengthens an already resurgent Yankee squad. Pudge will prove to be a much improved bat over a defensive minded Jose Molina.

The second big trade was made earlier today when the Reds of Cincinnati sent Ken “the Kid” Griffey, Jr. to the Chicago White Sox for two minor leaguers. Surprisingly, the White Sox are expecting the 38 year-old future Hall of Famer to patrol center field at U.S. Cellular Field. The oft-injured Griffey was once the best defensive center fielder in the game, but with age comes brittle ligaments; this should be interesting.

Finally we have the swollen, bulbous, veiny, throbbing, erection that is “The Manny Ramirez Trade Rumors”. Late last night, while I was scanning the sports wire for future stories to cut and paste for your reading pleasure, our Boston Bureau Chief, Old No. 7, sent me a frantic text from deep inside the bowels of Fenway Park. “He pulls this shit every year,” he said. “Manny being Manny is a complete, franchisewide (sic) mindset. If they moved on, got a young bat, and built around Papi & the kids, fine.” Apparently, loafing to first base on infield ground balls, urinating inside the Green Monster during pitching changes, and high fiving fans after catches in left fieEdild is perfectly acceptable behavior for a $20 million franchise player.

Throughout the past 24 hours, I have neglected my wife and young son, scouring all outlets of baseball-related sources to be the first to break the impending blockbuster. The teams rumored to be interested in the services of the immensely talented, but playfully juvenile Dominican were rumored to be the Florida Marlins, the New York Mets, and (not-so-seriously) the Los Angeles Dodgers. The stage was set, my clothing was on the ground, and I was ready to pounce on the first syllable out of Peter Gammon’s mouth as if it were the nymphomaniac love child of Rue McClanahan and Mike Scioscia. Then came this buzzkill from 7 (again): “I’m telling you it’s nothing new. He’s a baby, and every once in a while he throws tantrums. When they don’t trade him, he goes back to mashing like before.”

Boner: gone.

Could this be true? Have I swallowed the hype from the four-letter network, hook, line, and sinker?

Back to the blogwire.

Manny to the Marlins, Jeremy Hermida or Josh Willingham (and some minor leaguers) to the Pirates, Jason Bay to the Red Sox. That was the deal that was supposed to happen anyway. I don’t know the details of why it didn’t work, but today I ate a PB&J while watching the clock expire on trade deadline 2008 without a Manny movement (Editor’s Note: Is that what he calls his dumps?). Seven was right.

Wrong! I don’t know how, but the LA Dodgers (pronounced Los Doy-ers in Humberto’s neck of the woods) somehow managed to swing a biggie. Details as follows: The Dodgers get attention-starved Manny Ramirez from Boston. The Pirates get Andy LaRoche and Bryan Morris from the Dodgers and Craig Hanson and Brandon Moss from Boston. The Red Sox receive the coveted Jason Bay from Pittsburgh. Wowsers. In addition, Boston will pay the remaining $7 million Ramirez is owed this season. Sure smells like Boston wanted to get rid of Manny to me! The ramifications are endless. How will Jeff Kent welcome Manny to the Dodger clubhouse? How will Joe Torre manage this clubhouse? Does LA even care? What will Red Sox Nation do without their patron saint? Was Jason Bay the secret weapon Boston desperately needed to avoid a sweep at the hands of Los Anaheim earlier this week?

React to me, House of Georges. React to me.

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Thursday, July 31, 2008

Baseball In The Trade Time: Just Shoot Me Right In The Dick

So of all the days I could pick to stroll back by the House, I have to go with this one. The one when my favorite baseball team decides to part ways with one of the twenty best hitters in the history of wood bats, and in exchange get...Jason Bay.

Jason Bay. He of the Canadian national team in the World Baseball Classic. Where he was a teammate of Stubby Clapp, don'tcha know. Proud veteran of zero postseason at-bats. That Jason Bay.

But wait, there's less! Your defending World Series champions also traded away Craig Hansen. Hansen is a reliever on a team whose biggest weakness is getting bullpen outs. They also shipped out promising young outfielder Brandon Moss and agreed to foot the bill for the $7 million in salary that Manny Ramirez is still owed this season. And there's still a little paperwork left to do and some physicals to be passed, but I think Tommy Lasorda gets to come fuck my wife next week. Sweet trade.

You can find all the details on this monstrosity on this little thing I call The Google. What you need to know is this: the Red Sox wanted to get ManRam off their roster very, very badly. You could compare the deal to the one Theo Epstein whipped up back in '04, when Nomar Garciaparra's dog shit attitude and prima donna persona were poisoning the clubhouse. That deadline trade netted Orlando Cabrera (essential to the Series-winning effort) and Doug Mientciewicz (have you seen my baseball?). Bay is better than either, but this trade still blows.

Take a random sample of 100 pitchers, managers, front office executives and broadcasters. Ask them this: Late inning situation, playoff game, tied up, two on, who do you want to face? Manny or Bay? I think 100 would go with Bay. Heck it may be 106. Point is that trade sucks.

Theo picked the wrong day to start sniffing glue. Or start, I never remember how that joke goes. Was the point to improve clubhouse chemistry? Manny is not vehemently disliked among the Sox, not like Nomar was (or Kevin Youkilis is now). Teammates tend to hang with a guy who wins a lot of games, and Manny won a lot of games. He won two rings in a town that hadn't seen a title in 86 years. What I'm saying is, that's an awful trade.

Was it time for Manny to go? Probably, but not under these circumstances. Look, I know Manny is a loon. He takes vast stretches of the season off, he has the emotional maturity of a second grader, he treats the press and the fans with utter disdain. I get it. He loafs. His appearance is revolting. He's often blatantly insubordinate with the gentlemen that pay him $20 million a season to play baseball. He can't come around on a fastball like he once could. All of it true. Still, bad trade.

Almost all of my past apologism regarding Manny has evaporated. I used to defend his defense, saying he knew the Green Monster as well as anyone and had underrated reflexes. That's all hogwash, of course, Manny's no good in the field. He takes bad angles and throws like a bitch. But two rings is two rings, and a career OPS of .990 is among the best of all time. Horrible trade, Theo.

I'm just sort of taking it as a given that this is now a lost season, thrown away to prove a point to a weirdo with three-foot-long dreadlocks. The weaknesses of this team were not addressed. Jason Varitek is hitting .215, Pudge Rodriguez was available, and he went to the Yankees. The pen is porous, Damaso Marte was available, and he went to the Yankees. The starting rotation is a little shaky, the centerfield platoon of Jacoby Ellsbury and Coco Crisp is turning sour, and we're now relying on J.D. Drew. Let me say that again. Red Sox fans must count on production from J.D. Drew to have a successful season.

Let me leave you with one last thought before I bury my face in a bucket of rye. The Dodgers just traded for Manny Ramirez, and didn't give the Red Sox anything (a LaRoche brother and some pitcher went to Pittsburgh). Theo couldn't have extracted one player from a Dodger roster that is absolutely loaded with productive players under 27? No Russ Martin? No James Loney? No Chad Billingsley? No Jonathan Broxton? No Andre Ethier? No Matt Kemp? The Sox should have ended up with Kemp and Ethier, if for no other reason than to force LA to start the world's most overpaid outfield--Manny, Andruw Jones and Juan Pierre. Now that would have been a good trade.
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