Midseason Report: NL West

Pour me some DeKuyper, folks. It's All-Star Break time, and that can only mean one thing. Actually, it could mean 100 different things, but who's counting. The one thing that's certain is that this feature will not drag into September this year. You can take that to the bank. Unless it's Sunday. And then you can't, 'cause it's closed, and this feature might run into September.

Anyway, we're kicking things off with some National League West action, and we had to settle for Dodger fan Johnny Utah once more because Humberto was busy stabbing white devils somewhere in the parking lot of the confines. Seriously, though, we're stoked to have Johnny back on bored, and you can peep our interview, just past the jump.

Bankmeister: So, Johnny. The National League West has been a bit of a surprise for a number of reasons through one half of 2009. But before we get to the juicy stuff, let's start with the crusty bottom of the bun known as the San Diego Padres. I didn't imagine that they would fare too well this season, but they've really outdone themselves cruising into All-Star week. As of today, they're 14 games under.500 and a solid 18 games back of your division-leading Dodgers. What's the problem with this team? Is it pitching? Hitting? Defense? A combination of the three? Do you know anything about their front office? Tell us, when you're done jerking it to your Steve Garvey Padre Fathead, what you know about baseball in the Whale's Vagina.



Johnny Utah: Thanks, Mister. And for the record, I use the Jergens to the sweet cookie duster of one Davy Lopes. The biggest problem with the Padres are those God-awful camouflage unis they wear on occasion. Come on, have some respect. Go back to the gold and shit brown.

Sorry, I'll get serious here. First what's good about this pathetic team. Adrian Gonzalez is putting up solid power numbers. He hasn't had spent any significant time on the DL in his young career, which makes him decent trade bait. Heath Bell is a stud, and will be a formidible closer for the next several years.

Now the bad. Davey Boy Eckstein is leading the team in hitting with a paltry .267. Suffice it to say, you don't hit, you don't score runs, you don't win. Whatta concept.

With a team ERA of 4.64, they prove they are incapable of keeping runs off the scoreboard. Even one time stud, and staff "ace" Jake Peavey is struggling with an ERA around the 4ish region....Don't know much about the front office in the Whale's Vajay-jay as you affectionately refer to it. But, they need to get their shit together before they become the Pirates of the NL West. Just brutal.

B: Yeah. Heath Bell and Adrian Gonzalez is about all I could tell you about this team myself. To say that your club is last in the league in runs, hits, team average, and RsBI is not bragging rights in my book. Surprisingly, they're only 10th in home runs (they have 76, compared to the last-place Mets), which is great, but they might want to try and get a guy or two on base before going deep. As far as pitching, having a hurt Peavy isn't doing them any favors, especially considering that their entire rotation (right now) is just plain awful. A 5-7 Kevin Correia, a 1-3 Josh Geer, a 4-7 Chad Gaudin, and a 1-0 Josh Banks won't win you many games in AAA, let alone the bigs.

This team doesn't appear to have any decent hitting or pitching in their system right now. Are they drafting poorly? An organization in need of change? If memory serves, they haven't been good for some time.

JU: Not true. They won the west in '06 and I'm pretty sure they won 90 games in '07. So this is a team that has just gone down hill quickly. Good assessment of the farm system. They don't have anybody on the triple A Portland Beavers hitting over .280. Also, the single A affiliate plays in Ft. Wayne Indiana. Easily the armpit of America.

The way I see it, this team and entire organization needs a serious overhaul. They lack leadership and personality. It's tough to say they haven't drafted well. In my opinion baseball is the toughest sport to assess talent at the high school or college level.

B: No, I know. They were in that one-game playoff with the Rockies in October 2007 as well, but they had that good year and 2006. Between those campaigns and their heydays of the early 80s, though, I only remember spotted success.

How about Arizona, though? Did you expect them to be almost identically as bad as San Diego at the halfway point? They're allowing fewer funs than the Pads and even scoring more, but they, as of today, have one more win than the Whale, and only a half-game lead on them.

JU: No, I'm surprised the D-Bags are playing so poorly. I really thought they would be at least contending for the West. They have always been one of those teams that seem to find a way to win. Very weak bullpen...

B: Fair enough. Let's talk Colorado Rockies. What do you make of their atrocious start, and impeccable turnaround? How much of it do you attribute to the Clint Hurdle/Jim Tracy firing/hiring?

JU: I was very surprised by the poor start. Let's face it, they have a preetty decent line up that can score 6 runs a game. Especially in the little league park known as Coors Field. Which, by the way, is my favorite stadium to enjoy a game.



You pretty much have to assume that the turnaround is attributed to the exit of Hurdle. Clint had over welcomed has stay. Had they not made that run at the end of '07, he would have been on the unemployment line. Jim Tracy was a great hire/promotion from bench coach. He had early success with the bums in the early to mid 2000s, and knows what it takes to win in the wild and wacky West.

B: I understand that the firing/hiring has given this team a spark, perhaps even the motivation they needed to start playing the baseball they're capable of. I also understand that this roster already had a decent number of guys that can hit for power, but how do you explain the pitching? This rotation looked absolutely fucking hideous at the start of the season, and I don't mean to imply that they're all rolling along at Cy Young pace, but they've done something right. Just look at their numbers through the first half:

Aaron Cook: 8-3, 3.98, 55-34 (SO-BB) through 108 innings
Ubaldo Jimenez: 6-9, 3.81, 101-46 through 115
Jason Marquis: 11-6, 3.65, 58-40 through 123
Jason Hammel: 5-4, 4.43, 61-21 through 89
Jorge de la Rosa: 6-7, 5.21, 99-46 through 96

Is that not impressive? Three guys over .500, three guys with under-four E.R.A.s, all five with respectable ratios and a team average of 106 innings per starter? Plus an All-Star appearance. And they play in a hitter's park, right? Please, explain this to me, Johnny.

JU: Yes, it is impressive. Jason Marquis has been the real surprise. His career was seemingly finished after a few mediocre years with the Cubs and Cards. Apparently he changed his delivery over the off season making his sinker much more effective. Obviously this has paid off with 11 wins and an All-Star appearance. Again, the bullpen is killing this team with several inflated ERAs. Middle relief has not fared well. Closer Huston Street has been solid with 22 saves. So, it seems they lose steam in the 6-8th innings.

B: While the San Francisco Giants are still seven games back of Los Angeles, they've also managed to win 10 more than they've lost. What's been the secret to their success? Offensively, they're not running away with any statistics. In fact, they're far down in the bottom hafl in many categories. They don't score a ton, they certainly don't hit for much power, and they don't exhibit blinding basepath speed. So, it's pitching, then, right? They have a National League best 3.51 E.R.A., they more than double everyone else in the league with 13 shutouts, and the same can be said with (eight) complete games. Defensively, they appear to be right around the middle of the pack. So, has average hitting and fielding, along with superior pitching been the Giant recipe? Does any of it have to do with a couple of exhausted clubs in the division? How long can San Francisco make a push with these efforts?

JU: The Giants as you said are relying mainly on pitching. Lincecum is putting up retarded numbers. It looks like he is pitching out of his socks with every delivery. I really like this kid's style. Matt Cain has put up equally as impressive numbers, although he is allowing a freakishly high amount of HRs compared to his ERA (11 HRs/2.38 ERA). The Big Unit hasn't had a great year, but respectable 45-year-old giant (pun intended).



Indeed their success can be somewhat attributed to a weak division. But mainly it is the quality of the starters. You don't have to score much to pick up wins when you have a few quality starters. The occasional no-hitter by a virtual unknown doesn't hurt. As long as they stay healthy, the Giants will ruffle some feathers and vie for the wild card.

B: Okay. Well, I think there's a team you've perhaps been looking forward to discussing: your Los Angeles Dodgers of Californaheim. Generally speaking, this team, assuming the second half of the season plays out similarly to the first, looks borderline frightening, which is unfortunate in that I predicted them to come in second in the division. That, of course, was only because they didn't have Seth fucking Smith on their team. but anyway, last year was tooth and nail down the stretch for them and the Diamondbacks. This year, Manny or no Manny, they've really taken care of business. Will it last? To what do you attribute their success, even during Manny's 50-game absence?

One of the most interesting things to me about this team -- again, going back to last year -- was that it appeared that pitching might handcuff them in the end, and one could make the argument that it did in October. What's their X-factor this year? Why have they been so tough? Are they that good? Is it a weak division?

Also, do you think this club would fare equally well in the American League? And, did you agree with Manny's being able to rehab in the minors?

JU: Why yes, I have been looking forward to talking about the boys in Blue! The success of this team is no fluke, and will last the remainder of the season. Hell, if they play .500 ball the rest of the way they would be around 90 wins. I think that is good enough to win the West. But, I also don't see them letting up anytime soon.

Their success is a combination of several things. Joe Torre is the perfect guy to keep Manny from, well, being Manny. Don Mattingly is the hitting coach, has taught the younger guys (Kemp, Loney, Ethier) patience at the plate. That was something that cost them down the stretch last year.

The biggest reason for their success is solid defense. They are second in the NL in fielding percentage. Not many errors with this bunch. I do think they are that good and the best record in baseball seems to prove it. It's tough to say if they would be that great in the AL. They historically have a bad record in interleague play (9-9 this year) But, Im sure that Mr. Torre would find a way to get these guys playing Big Ball if they did play in the AL.

The whole Manny deal? I'm torn. In a way I don't think he should have been able to rehab in the minors. A suspension is just that. Of course I'm glad he was able to dust off the spider webs and get his JuJu back. And yes, he was on maternity leave.



(video courtesy of the Global Sports Fraternity)

B: Fantastic. Care to make any division-winner predictions? Playoff scenarios? Who takes it all? I know you got it in you.

JU: Naturally. All righty, last year I predicted Philly over the White Sox in the series, so I was half right. I'm gonna say division winners: Tigers, Red Sox, Rangers, Phils, Brewers, Dodgers. Wild cards: Angels and Cards. ALCS: Sox over Angels, NLCS: Dodgers over Phillies. Yes, boys and girls we finally get a Mannywood return to Boston. In the end, the boys in Blue hoist the hardware.

B: Thanks for visiting with us again, Johnny. We look forward to talking some football with you in about two and-a-half months when the Chiefs prepare to visit Philadelphia, and come out with a win.
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Lineup Against the Wall: San Francisco's Very-Own G-Men

So the Giants celebrated their 50th anniversary last year. Splendid. I hope it was a great party because their season wasn't worth writing home about, albeit it was about nine games better than the Padres, so they had that goin' for 'em, which was nice. Baseball's NL team by the Bay, just after the jump.

One last time:

1) RF Randy Winn
2) 2B Emmanuel Burriss
3) LF Fred Lewis
4) C Bengie Molina
5) SS Edgar Renteria
6) 3B Pablo Sandoval
7) 1B Travis Ishikawa
8) CF Aaron Rowand

Finally a team in this division that has a little bit of speed. But guess what? They're missing power. Where's that Bonds guy? He could do that every now and again. Yes. I'm hitting the catcher at cleanup, and putting Rowand at the bottom of the order. Mentally switch it if you please. I'm mentally drained.

The rotation:

1) Tim Lincecum
2) Randy Johnson
3) Matt Cain
4) Barry Zito
5) Jonathan Sanchez

Now that's a pitching staff right there. Fifty-six wins, (mostly) respectable earned-run averages, and 901 strikeouts last year. Nine hundred one. Oh, and three lefties. That's awesome.

The bullpen leaves a little bit to be desired. It's not awful. But it's Bob Howry, Jeremy Affeldt, and a ton of youth, followed by Brian Wilson as your closer who managed to drum up 41 saves last year as a Giant, which is really impressive for a not-very-good team a year ago. If my Colorado train jumps track, these Giants could easily leap them and finish in third, but I already made one crazy prediction. A Giants team finishing better than the Rockies and the D'backs is a bit of a stretch.

Put a fork in the West divisions, kids. They done.
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Lineup Against the Wall: Fathers of Saint James?

Well, we're to the Padres, which means I'll soon be signing off on the ol' Lineup Against the Wall features, and not a moment too soon. Whoever came up with this idea is a complete pinhead. The Whale's Vagina Baseball Club almost lost 100 games last year, and I have every bit of confidence that they can top themselves in 2009. See how after the jump.

Their lineup looks a little like this:

1) CF Jody Gerut
2) 2B David Eckstein
3) RF Brian Giles
4) 1B Adrian Gonzalez
5) SS Luis Rodriguez
6) LF Chase Headley
7) 3B Kevin Kouzmanoff
8) C Nick Hundley

Man. These guys are awful. I don't know how you put together an actual lineup with this slow, seldom-hitting crew of degenerate baseball players. And look, they can't pitch either:

1) Jake Peavy
2) Chris Young
3) Walter Silva
4) Kevin Correia
5) Shawn Hill

Fine. They have Peavy. He won 10 games last year and earned 166 Ks. The next four dudes have a total of 11 wins among them from 2008. Their E.R.A. ain't great, and frankly, none of their other numbers are either. There's a common theme -- other than general suckiness -- among this entire pitching staff, though. From Peavy on down to closer Heath Bell, there's not a single lefty on the depth chart. And Bell's the closer because why? He got a ton of holds last year? Good. Lord.

If I were a Seattle Mariner, I'd be stoked that these guys were in the bigs, and if I were a Washington National, I'd be stoked that they play in the National League. Holy Cow. Look out new all-time record for losses.
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Lineup Against the Wall: Humberto's, Johnny Utah's L.A. Dodgers

Let me just start off by saying that if you use the word Dodgerball in your everyday life, feel free to get bent.

There. I feel much better. Are the Dodgers likable to non-Dodger fans? Are they? I can't really tell how I feel about them. As a kid they were great. Just flippin' stacked. Now they're just kind of obnoxious, it seems. I'm not really sure why, so please, after you've read this thoroughly researched, poignant post-jump lineup assessment, share your thoughts in the comments.

The lineup:

1) CF Matt Kemp
2) 1B James Loney
3) RF Andre Ethier
4) LF Manny Ramirez
5) SS Rafael Furcal
6) 2B Orlando Hudson
7) C Russell Martin
8) 3B Casey Blake

Three things about these hitters: 1) They're old, 2) they're slow, and 3) they can hit. Honestly, if this team can stay healthy, they'll be a threat, but I really don't think they will. Yes, there's some youth mixed in with all that experience, but I feel like the mix might be a bit much for L.A. this year. In a nutshell, I feel like the Dodgers' potential for success will depend heavily on the under-achievments of the pitching staffs in their division. That's the ticket; if they face shitty or inconsistent pitching, they can use that as a crutch for their old-ass selves, because frankly, they're not going to be hurling that well from their own mound.

1) Hiroki Kuroda
2) Randy Wolf
3) Chad Billingsley
4) Clayton Kershaw
5) James McDonald

About the best thing I can say for this staff is that they walk very few batters. They manage to get their fair share of strikeouts, but they just don't seem cohesive enough to dominate, and their rotation was an issue last year as well. How Kuroda is your opening-day starter over Billingsley is beyond me. Why you were interested in obtaining Randy Wolf is a bit of a puzzle as well. Clayton Kershaw may develop into a 15-game winner for you one day, but I doubt it'll happen this year. James McDonald was a September call-up last year, and he makes the rotation? Sounds pretty fishy to me until you consider just how young the Dodger bullpen is. They are damn young.

Throw in a couple of sucky journeymen like Guillermo Mota and, well, you're bummin'. The good news is that Hong Chi-Kuo and Jonathan Broxton are better than decent. The bad news is that that ain't gonna be enough. The Dodger sticks keep them in contention through mid-September, but second place is meant for them this year.
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Lineup Against the Wall: Colorado's Third Form of Rockies

Number one would be the mountain range. Duh. Number two would be the hockey team that called Denver home in between calling themselves the Kansas City Scouts and the New Jersey Devils, leaving the third to be the baseball club that has home games at Coors Field. There's a reason why Arizona won't win this division this year, and there's a reason why it won't be Humberto's Dodgers either. Let's not forget San Diego. Okay, let's actually forget San Diego. And while we're at it, let's forget about Colorado's 2008, and think more along the lines of the two-years-ago Rockies, and call that the basis for my theory that they will win the West in 2009. I know. I know. Jeff Francis is likely out for the season. Stay with me, or at least join me after the jump, ya' naysayin' ninnies, where we go over the rules of HoG Club and look at this lineup.

The first rule of HoG Club is that you must hate Canadians. The second rule of HoG Club is that Jeff Francis is a stupid-ass Canadian, so he can have his shoulder surgery, his rotten record/E.R.A. and he can go play minor-league ball for the Blue Jays or something. I have a hunch, that even without Matt Holliday (Editor's Note: The third rule of HoG Club is that Canada and Oklahoma are pretty much the same thing.), this team is going to click this year. They kick things off against Arizona, who gave Colorado fits last year, and by golly, times've changed. Let's look at the Rockies:

1) LF Seth Smith
2) 2B Clint Barmes
3) CF Ryan Spilborghs
4) 1B Todd Helton
5) RF Brad Hawpe
6) SS Troy Tulowitzki
7) 3B Garrett Atkins
8) C) Chris Iannetta

This could be the most inaccurate lineup prediction I've put together thus far, but it doesn't matter, because for this team, there is no speed on the basepaths. I think the Rockies, collectively, stole like 6.5 bases in 2008. Nope. The approach for this team is to just plain crush the ball, and who better to start the mashing off than Seth fucking Smith. Seth Smith is going to hit the cover off of the ball for Colorado this year. Why? Because he slugged for .556 and had a +.300 average throughout spring training. That's why. Not to mention that one, lone time he went yard. You do not fuck with Seth Smith, kids. You should also not use profane language under any circumstances, unless, of course, you are talking about Seth fucking Smith. I mean look at him.



That guy eats rusty Hyundai bumpers sprinkled with Tony Gwynn back hairs for a midnight snack. You do NOT mess with that. Christ. Do we even need to look at the rest of this team?

Okay. Fine. We will. But we're not going to call them the Rockies. They are the Colorado SethFuckingSmiths. Take note. The rotation:

1) Aaron Cook
2) Ubaldo Jimenez
3) Franklin Morales
4) Jason Marquis
5) Jorge De la Rosa

I love this rotation. You've got a New Yorker, and a kid from Kentucky mixed in with a hell of an appetizing Latino smorgasbord. Plus you've got three flippin' lefties. The best part, though, about this fivesome, is that you've got a collection of dudes that are on the brink of being pretty darned good, and every last one of them could do just that. Plus, none of them has to pitch to Seth Smith. Jack. Pot. Honestly, I think this rotation hinges on Franklin Morales. All four of the others won at least 10 games last year and they tallied sufficient strikeouts as well. But Franklin Morales is like that wasted chick that does something stupid and ruins the chances of the 4 a.m. threesome. And you even had the YouTube'corder charged and ready. If Morales doesn't man up, this rotation crumbles, and the rest of the team goes with it, because the bullpen is going to thrive on quality starts. They don't strike out a ton of guys, they give up too many runs, and obviously you can't go straight to Manny Corpas and Huston Street 162 times in a season.

So I say, a healthy dose of Seth Smith at the plate, eight or nine wins from Morales, and middle relief that doesn't blow leads gets you the division in 2009. You heard it here first.
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Lineup Against the Wall: Them D'backs of 'Zonatown

So, in the name of impartiality, let's pretend that the National League is as cool as the A.L. and examine these teams from the N.L. West. Arizona's always a good place to start, since, you know, we have to consider them as legitimate nowadays. A peek into their chances of improving upon their 2008 campaign, just past the creek. Or over the jump. Or something.

As I recollect, the final weeks of NL West baseball last season were somewhat of a cockfight in that the Dodgers and Diamondbacks scratched and clawed their way to the finish. Ultimately, guys like Hiroki Kuroda and Manny Ramirez gave L.A. the edge, and Arizona the trip home for October. They hope to be on the other end of things come this fall, and here're the tools they'll use to try and accomplish that:

1) CF Chris Young
2) SS Stephen Drew
3) LF Conor Jackson
4) 2B Felipe Lopez
5) 3B Mark Reynolds
6) 1B Chad Tracy
7) RF Justin Upton
8) C Chris Snyder

Not too shabby. A bit unproven in some regards, but teeming with potential. The acquisition of Lopez should give the clubhouse some of that good ol' veteran leadership, and frankly, the potential on this club could strongarm them past a semi-aging Dodger team, that is, of course, if their pitching staff can hold their own, which shouldn't pose much of a problem.

1) Brandon Webb
2) Dan Haren
3) Doug Davis
4) Jon Garland
5) Max Scherzer

B-Webb tore shit up last year with 22 wins, a 3.30 E.R.A. and nearly 200 Ks. Haren won eight fewer, averaged the same number of earned runs, and actually topped the 200-strikeout mark. Doug Davis was also impressive in his K-BB ratio, but surrendered more runs and only notched six victories. As the only southpaw in the rotation, he stands a chance of improving significantly this season. Arizona's other noteworthy acquisition is Jon Garland, who won 14 as an Angel in '08. His E.R.A. crept upwards of 5.00, but he's still got some decent innings left in him, and Max Scherzer is still looking for his first big-league victory, which I'm certain won't take him long to obtain. This rotation looks tough as nails, but what's yet to be seen is how much they might miss The Big Unit.

In the 'pen are, well, a ton of dudes. The Arizona middle relief might be a shaky point for this team, especially considering the fact that they're liable to get a lot of quality starts from their rotation. There's a bunch of guys who've yet to demonstrate significant big-league success, some newbies, and some fossils (see Tom Gordon). It looks like Jon Rauch gets the nod as the setup guy and Chad Qualls will be the closer. If the 'backs can make late-game pitching work with this crew, then they're likely to have a shot at the division, but I'm guessing that the wheels'll come off for this club around mid-August, leaving them in a disappointing third-place finish.
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Midseason Report Card: NL West

What. So it's September. Hardly mid-season. I got it, already. We type (from wheelchairs no less) our content, mail it to a Web-publishing office, who then sends us a draft edit, and we fix stuff, and send it back. It takes time. We promise, though, to have the National League covered by month's end. For real. Anyway, special agent Johnny Utah joins us today, and if you like what he says about America's pastime, then check out what the babealicious Sooze said about the AL Central here, Blanche Feverpiss on the West here, and Rustoleum's slant on the East here. Actually, we don't really care if you liked it or not. We did, and we're not only slow as erosion, we're self-pleasers. Anyway, for the record, our boy Utah is also a fan of exclamation points and all-capping the occasional word.

Bankmeister: First, if you would, tell us a bit about yourself, your history as a baseball fan, and how you've come to embrace the team we all associate with Tommy Lasorda, Steve Garvey, (Editor's Note: I've heard you say before that Garvey is a sore spot since he later went to San Diego, but that's how I'll always remember him, so all apologies.) Steve Sax, Ron Cey, and of course, Fernando Valenzuela. I trust you were well engaged by the 1988 World Series, and I'll assume that since I remember the '81 defeat of the Yankees, that you do, too.

Beyond that, as of today, the Dodgers are a game and-a-half back of the Arizona Diamonbacks (Note: Obviously a few days ago; the reverse is true today.), and if memory serves correctly -- chances are it doesn't, and I'm too lazy to look it up -- that's pretty much been the case since mid-season, give or take a small handful of games. We've got a little over three weeks left in this regular season, and as of today, L.A. hosts Arizona for a three-game series (Note: LA swept that series, 7-0, 7-2, and 5-3). How do you see this division shaking up? If Team Lasorda can't get it done, the Phillies right now have a better record than the Dodgers. I imagine that you're hoping to take the division and rule out the nerve-racking possibility of having to squeak in as a wildcard.

Johnny Utah: Ok, Im a life-long Dodger fan since my father played for them in the 60s and later tried to make a comeback in the Phillies organization. I grew up in Philly watching the likes of Mike Schmidt, but always had the Blue Blood. And yes, Garvey is my boy even though he became a Padre (I still block that out!). The wanker once not only wouldn't sign an autograph for me, but he dropped my pen and wouldn't pick it up! Bastard!

The '88 series was magical for me. I was fresh out of high school and becoming a member of the working force. Man, I remember the Gibby home run like it was yesterday. It was all the sweeter that he hit it off Douche Eckersley. In my opinion, Mickey Hatcher was the MVP of the series but never got the credit. One home run all year, with 2 clutch at bats in the series! Atta boy, Mickey!

Enough with the history lesson; on to the present. It has to be the division or nothing. Ten games out of the wild card would be next to impossible, so nix that out of the equation.

This weekend series is pivotal. Good for me that it takes place in the not-so-friendly confines of Chavez Ravine. I predict the boys in blue take two out of the three and go on to win the division by two games. Why?

First, the Snakes' rotation is totally overrated. The Unit is not what he was. He's not intimidating anymore, although John One Nut Kruk will say different. Brandon Webb has proven in his last two outings that he is not untouchable. He has given up six runs in each of his last two, one of the games in question was to the pillow-bitting Padres. Sit down Webby, you started hot and gave my fantasy team a boost, but...Dan Haren? Gimme a break....

Adam Dunn was a nice pickup, NOT. The friggin guy strikes out more than me at a Victoria's Secret photo shoot! Moot point, just wanted to include.

Why LaLa will take it...

Joe Torre is a really good manager. He has kept Jeff "The Mustache Kent" from causing any grief with teammates. Bonus points there!

The bullpen has proven that even with the loss of Takashi Saito they can shut down the opposition in the closing innings. Kind of a closer-by-committee approach courtesy of Mr. Torre. Chan Ho Park and Jonathan Broxtan have proven themselves in this department.

A quality starting staff: Derek Lowe has been in many a playoff hunt, so there is some experience. Chad Billingsly is going to be a fantasy stud in the next few years, as is Clayton Kershaw. In fact, the Indians wanted Billingsly in a deal for Sabathia, which LA obviously declined. Thank you, Ned Colletti!

The additions of Casey Blake and ManRam: They have both contributed a great deal. Blake seems to come up with key hits in the clutch. Manny always finds a way to get on base now that he is happy with his situation. Even if it is by the ole IBB, he is a strong bat in the lineup the Bums have been missing since Pedro Guererro.

The schedule also points in the favor of LA. More road games, but six against San Diego, six against the Jints, and four at Pittsburgh.

Looming are the fricken Rockies @ five games back. They DID come out of nowhere last year....Not concerned about Jorge DeLa Rosa this year....Matt Holliday would look good in Blue, isnt he a free agent?....I'm just saying

B: Interesting. So, LA has the edge based the non-strength of their remaining schedule, and because the Diamondbacks, are, you say, a tad overrated? Perhaps I can see a shade of that with their rotation, but they've still managed to score more runs than anybody in the division except the Rockies. That means they're either putting some lumber on some seamage, or getting on base and advancing runners, or some combination of both. Therefore, they can remain competitive, even if their pitching is slightly weaker than it looks on paper. Are you feeling confident enough to guarantee an LA division title? Assuming you are, and that that happens, who would you fear most in the playoffs? The Cubs of course have the great record, but they sort of seem to be falling apart right now. Do the Mets pose a threat? How about Milwaukee? They're my dark horse.

JU: Very overrated. They do have the second most runs in the division. However, when they lost the O-Dog Orlando Hudson, they lost a piece of their chemistry. Since he was placed on the DL August 10th, they have seemed to lose steam. I have a lot of love for Steven Drew, baseball's version of Scott Skiles, but he alone won't get the job done. Adam Dunn, as I stated earlier, is a strikeout machine. He is unable to advance runners. Glory hound I say...

With that, I say I'm very confident on a NL West Title. Im trying to stay unbiased, but all signs point to DodgerTown.

Although the starting rotation is shaky, the Phils are the biggest scare. That lineup is fierce. Chase Utley has a career .355 and an OPS of 1.105 against my boys. Russell Martin has been horrendous throwing out runners this year, so Jimmy Rollins becomes even more dangerous. Shane Victorino (who was drafted by LA in '99) finds ways of coming aroung to score. Needless to say, sound fundamental ball is the Dodgers' weakness.

Just advancing to the NLCS will be a victory after the past disappointments.

It will occur, write it down. So says Johnny Utah.

B: NLCS you say? So they get in, win one round of the playoffs, get eliminated, and you're fine with that? I find that hard to swallow. Frankly, I would expect more from someone who's waited 20 years for a Dodger World Series trophy, and even more so for someone who watched a Philly Eagles team come so close for those consecutive years, only to go home disappointed each time.

JU: Geez, Banky. Why do you have to bring Donnie Mac into this?

I'm not saying that I would be satisfied with a one and out. I was just saying that anything less than that would be a huge disappointment. With bringing in Torre, and his ability to manage the team, not winning the division would have Dodger Nation calling for his head.

We Blue Bloods are hungry for a ring! With ManRam, Torre, the pitching staff, and the hot bat of Ethier, it's obtainable.

B: Fair enough, Utah. How do you see the rest of the playoffs panning out, both NL and AL?

JU: For the N.L., I see Dodgers~Phillies in the NLCS, with the Phils winning in six games. In the A.L., I see the Red Sox taking the East, with the Rays getting the wild card. White Sox and Twins tie, with the Pale Hose winning the one-game tie breaker. I'll say the Angels take out the South Siders in the ALCS.

I predict another title for the Angels in five games. They have no glaring weakness.

B: Interesting. No Baby Bears anywhere in the mix? First-round elimination for the best record in baseball?

JU: Not so much; just not sold on the Scrubs (real original I know). I'm not buying this 100 years; it's fate B.S. I hate the Cubs so much that come November I'm writing in Steve Bartman for Prez!

B: Alrighty, then. It's been a pleasure having you with us. If you make it to the Ravine for any playoff ball, be careful. Humberto will find you.

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