Baseball In The Daytime: 16 September 2009

Today's BitD contains 100 per cent of your daily recommended allowance of calcium, riboflavin and fiber. Possible side effects include blurred vision and upset stomach. If your day baseball game lasts longer than four hours, please consult a physician.

With the fine print out of the way, let's check out the schedule, after the jump...

Cleveland @ Minnesota, 11:10 Mountain This is the last time Cleveland plays in the Metrodome, as the Twins open brand-new Target Field next April. It's not the last baseball game in the Hube, Detroit comes in tomorrow and the season ends with a three-game home set against the Royals. And I suppose that the Browns could still play the Vikings here, so technically it's not the last time ever a team from the city of Cleveland competes in this building. So let's not get all weepy and steal urinals on our way out the door. Aaron Laffey and Nick Blackburn are your scheduled starters.

Florida @ St. Louis, 12:15 The Marlins are still in this thing, by a thread. Colorado's three-game losing skid has left the Fish 4 1/2 out of the wild card with 17 yet to play. It's not inconceivable that they could catch the Rockies, although if they did so they'd probably then have to reel in the Giants as well. So I guess it is inconceivable, and this game is meaningless. Josh Johnson takes the hill for Florida, and if you're an NL Cy Young voter and you don't give Johnson one of your ten spots you are a punk. He's opposed by the one, the only, Joel Pineiro.

Pittsburgh @ LA Dodgers, 1:10 Even though they're still in first, and even though they have a nice lineup, no one is really taking the Dodgers seriously as World Series contenders. Their rotation is kind of a mess, riddled with question marks, and the current consensus is that LA can't matchup with St. Louis and Philly in the NL playoffs. Hiroki Kuroda, one of those question marks, takes on Kevin Hart today in (at? from?) Chavez Ravine.

Arizona @ San Diego, 1:35 Here at Baseball In The Daytime, we like to save the best for last. We like to, but we can't always deliver. I must apologize for our closing afternoon game, because it's cover-your-face awful. It "features" Doug Davis going for the D'Bags and Eduardo Mujica doing likewise for the Padres. These teams are a combined 34 games under .500 and are both on the verge of bankruptcy. Outside of Adrian Gonzalez and Justin Upton, there's not a single player on either roster I'd pay to watch play today. But hey, it's baseball, in a beautiful city, during daylight hours--that ain't bad I reckon. Marshall your courage and Play Ball!
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Baseball In The Daytime: May 20, 2009

Wednesday brings us an oddly-timed midafternoon businessman's special in the bigs. The Snakes and the Fish are dueling, which would seem to be a big mismatch depending on the venue. On land, the Diamondbacks have a huge edge. Underwater, the Marlins would coast to victory. Perhaps they can play in pudding. I like butterscotch.

This game will not take place in tapioca, but a big ol' football stadium in South Florida. It's the first leg of a doubleheader, a doubleheader that's necessary because it rains approximately every day in Miami during the summer. If city brass were sly, they'd build a stadium with a roof--but that would make for the dreaded dome arrangement they have in Tampa. Everyone hates that, too sterile. What's the solution?

Hey, they found it! A retractable roof park on the site of the demolished Orange Bowl. Everybody wins, except the poor taxpayer required to foot the $500 million bill for a new field for a team that draws 600 fans a night. For now, though, you'll have to advance past the jump for news about today's game...

Arizona @ Florida, 3:10 Mountain Lots of seamheads raised a collective eyebrow when the D'Bags canned Doug Melvin and hired A.J. Hinch, because Hinch has never managed anything. Not even a slow-pitch softball team, or a Quizno's. Those doubters have been silenced, however, because Hinch has been far, far more inept than anyone imagined. He routinely only puts seven guys on his lineup card, and last week he attempted a double switch with a bag of sunflower seeds. One of his pitchers, Doug Davis, openly lambasted Hinch's decision to pull him from Davis' last start.

So who starts today for Hinch's bags? Doug Davis! Man, this is gonna be super-awkward if DD gets lit up by Florida. The Marlins send Chris Volstad out for the top of the first, and none of this matters because it will almost certainly rain again. Play Ball, maybe!
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Baseball in the Daytime: 4-16-09

Twas the second Thursday of the season, when all through the league, some pitchers tossed well, while some showed fatigue. And what to my wondering eyes hath appeared, but some afternoon baseball, the matches all tiered. You get the drift. Your slate, clean and shiny, post-jump.

Marlins @ Braves, 11:10 Central: Our first matchup is one of two pre-nooners, so we gotta hustle. I recommend you try reading this in your best auctioneer's voice. On the hill for the visitors is Anibal Sanchez who's nickname might be "Dirty." Whether it is or not, he's getting his first start of the season after tossing five scoreless innings against Los Mets el otro dia. His right arm will battle the right arm of Kenshin Kawakami, who I think is of Asian descent. He logged a win last week in his first major-league start, but it was against the Nationals, so, toss a grain of salt in that carry-on. Catch what nobody is calling the Floridian Venezuelan-Japanese showdown on DirecTV 721, 722, or on XM 183

Astros @ Pirates, 11:35: In another bout between teams I could't care less for, it's Russ Ortiz on the hill for the Astros, Jeff Karstens for Las Piratas. Whaddayou wanna know? They're both righties, it's Ortiz's first start, and Karstens made the roster by beating out a guy named Virgil, which ain't exactly braggin' rights. DirecTV calls the shots on 723 and 737, while XM weighs ways in on 184.

Indians @ Yankees, 1:05: The pesky Indians escaped from Kansas City with a win yesterday, but they'll really be tested against the Pinstripes, who'll send CheeseburgerCheeseburger Sabathia to the mound. Cleveland calls on Cliff Lee. This will either be a fantastic pitching duel, a realization by all that both guys are overrated, or a good kindergarten-room example of fat versus skinny. The tilt's on DirecTV 724 and 736. Also find it on XM 176.

Cardinals @ Cubs, 1:20: We cap it off with a good old-fashioned, hate-fueled rivalry of the N.L. Central. Adam Wainwright and the Redbirds grapple with lefty Sean Marshall and the Baby Bears. Tune in to DTV 725 or 726, depending on which side of the Miss' you live on, or just have a listen on XM one eight five.

You know the rules: Mask your emotions, act like you're working, and when you slip out for a shot at the bar across the street, leave a shooter for the co-worker that goes "on break" after you.
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Baseball in the Daytime: 4-8--09

Ultimately, this BitD chair is usually occupied by a wiser, craftier baseball muse than myself, but you, fair reader, are stuck with me until Old No. 7's kid has obtained his first official position in the city council. Or at least until he's driving, and believe you me when I say that if Jackson follows Cecil's lead, you and I are in this one for the long haul, so you may as well get used to my witless droning, my American League bias, and my PBR farts.

More importantly, there are a few games on the slate today, and they're kind of AA-ish in that they're all National League matches (Editor's Note: cocks cheek, offers gassy emission), but there's some value to tuning in today, as we have the opportunity to see if the Phils get swept, and we can weigh in on who's who in the West. So take note, your schedule is a click away.

Nationals @ Marlins, 11:10 Central: This tilt in Miami is our only pre-nooner today, and it features batter's-box chicken-shit Daniel Cabrera for the visitors, and he'll take on former first-rounder Chris Volstad and the home squad in this battle of righties. Tune in (Tokyo) to this one on DirecTV 721 if you're a Nats fan, 722 if you feel for the fish. Or XM has it on the ever-popular 183.

Braves @ Phillies, 2:05: Javier Vazquez and Joe Blanton, who may or may not look like a fat, racist truck driver from Birmingham, are your starters in game three of this series, one in which the defending champs have yet to obtain a W. It's another duel of right-handers, and you can view it on DirecTV 723, or put an ear to a speaker at XM 184.

Rockies @ D'backs, 2:40: And for our third match of the afternoon, we finally get some left-handed action, as Franklin Morales meets Doug Davis in the desert. In the rubber match of this trio of games, Morales must impress, or, allegedly, he may slip out of the rotation, and his challenge is not an easy one against the one-time strikeout machine Davis who saw limited action last season as he battled thyroid cancer. This is a tough one -- found on DTV 724, 725 or XM 185 -- to predict, but I gotta imagine that the team with Seth fucking Smith on the roster gets the nod. Word on the street is that it's only a matter of time before this guy explodes. Hell, newbie Fort Collins Cosmic Underdog has already signed him in our fantasy league, which counts for something. Right?

Whatever. Enjoy the afternoon, and remember to actually do a little work while you're filling in your scorecard.
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Lineup Against the Wall: Florida Marlins

No lie, I hate this team. Two championships in what, a 14-year history? That isn't right. And, also, the Bartman series. I watched that game at the Cherry Cricket in a huge drunken scrum of Cub fans. The wife and I shared a table with a stranger. I've never seen energy dissipate like that--the whole room just went pffffffft.

A pox on the Marlins. Grudging acknowledgment after you-know-where.


The one constant of the Marlins' existence, beyond money trouble and improbable victories, is the amount of elite-level talent that passes through their clubhouse doors. This installment of the squad is more of the same--Hanley Ramirez is one of the five best players in the majors and Dan Uggla, Cody Ross and especially Jorge Cantu are very solid. Cameron Maybin could blossom into a big-time talent, too, but chances are they'll have to wait on him a while. But then, we thought the same thing about Delmon Young. Anyway, the lineup:

Catcher -- John Baker
First Base -- Jorge Cantu
Second Base -- Dan Uggla
Third Base -- Emilio Bonifacio
Shortstop -- Hanley Ramirez
Left Field -- Cody Ross
Center Field -- Cameron Maybin (R)
Right Field -- Jeremy Hermida

Starting Pitchers:

Ricky Nolasco (R)
Josh Johnson (R)
Chris Volstad (R)
Anibal Sanchez (R)
Andrew Miller (L)

Relief Pitchers:

Leo Nunez (R)
Logan Kensing (R)
Renyel Pinto (L)
Kiko Calero (R)
Carlos Martinez (R)

Closer:

Matt Lindstrom (R)

The Bottom Line: This team had a winning record last year (84-77) after two seasons of sub-.500 ball. They could evolve into something ferocious this year. The starting pitching, anchored by Josh Johnson and Ricky Nolasco, is potentially dominant. The starting lineup can hit for power, there's speed, sheesh. The Mets are being picked to win this division by most people and the Phillies *did* manage to win last year's Series, but...I'm going out on a limb.

Projected Finish: 1st in the NL East

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Baseball In The Daytime: 8-21-08

Today's docket seems hand-selected for the House of Georges. We've got a Royals game for Roy F. Almania and Co., a Cubs contest for Cecil and all the bandwagon poseurs, a Rockies game for residents of the Centennial State and finally a Marlins-Giants game for...um...well, for people who like to bet. All that's missing is a Red Sox-Angels game, but we know how those tend to end up. Best to leave it off.

So gather round, kids, with a glass of lemonade and a transistor radio, and take a nice cool sip of Baseball In The Daytime...

Kansas City @ Cleveland, 10:05 Mountain At what was once known as Jacobs Field (or "The Jake" to hipsters round the bend), the Royals visit the Indians this afternoon. Or this morning, if you tilt westward. Cliff Lee attempts to burnish his Cy Young credentials as he shoots for his 18th win against only two defeats, while Zach Grienke tries to run his win total into double digits.

Cincinnati @ Chicago Cubs, 12:20 At the Friendly Confines, former Cubbie skipper Dusty Baker brings his duffel bag full of toothpicks and his team bus full of Redlegs to play some baseball. My prediction of a Reds' playoff berth looks pretty foolish right now. Go ahead, take your shots. They're nothing like what Cincy starter Josh Fogg will face in this dangerous Cub lineup, while Carlos Zambrano gets the call for the home nine.

Colorado @ LA Dodgers, 1:10 Jorge de la Rosa wears the purple while Derek Lowe sports the blue in this NL Central West showdown at Dodger Stadium. The Rox have been a little feisty this week, taking two in a row from LA to knock the Dodgers out of first. But Arizona is now scoring runs and winning, so it's probably all in vain. The Blake Street Bombers sit eight back of the D'Bags in the division and are still waiting for someone, anyone, to give them some reliable outs on the mound.

Florida @ San Francisco, 1:45 When I saw the pitching slate listed as Johnson/Palmer, I thought "Sweet!" Randy Johnson versus Jim Palmer, Hall of Famer against Hall of Famer, should be a great game. But then I remembered that it's 2008, not 1989. And then I remembered that Jim Palmer retired long before The Unit even finished his amateur career at USC. And then I remembered that this is the Marlins and Josh Johnson, and these are the Giants and Matt Palmer. And then I went back to work. Good luck, gentlemen, and Play Ball!
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