Baseball In The Daytime: 12 August 2009

Five games dot our landscape of day baseball this morning and afternoon, and we have teams representing five of the United States and one Canadian province. Break out your atlas and a rosin bag and get ready to head round the world of baseball...

Toronto @ NY Yankees, 11:05 Mountain The Yanks keep bulldozing toward a seemingly inevitable AL East crown, which will buy Joe Girardi at least two weeks of job security. Lose in the first round again, though, and Joe might be toast. A.J. Burnett, today's starter against his former BJ's teammates, holds a major key to the Bombers' postseason puzzle. If he can be an effective No. 2 behind Commander Cheeseburger, start planning a tickertape parade down Broadway. If he acts like A.J. Burnett, though, and the load falls to Joba and Pettite, Girardi may want to hold off on buying Manhattan real estate. Ricky Romero hurls for the visitors.

Oakland @ Baltimore, 11:35 It's very possible that these two clubs will sport two of the finest young staffs in the majors next year. Of course, a big reason for that is because they have zero veterans and they're playing kids that would be normally be in the minors. Oakland's Vin Mazzaro looks like a future ace, but he gets lit up a lot because he's 22. Oriole Jason Berken, a relative graybeard at 25, is not among Baltimore's elite prospects like Chris Tillman, Brian Matusz and David Hernandez, but he still shows big-league potential.

Tampa @ Los Anaheim, 1:35 After their deadline deal to trade their old "Devil" name to the Yankees fell through, the Bay-Rays were able to get the moniker through waivers this week. It's possible that the Angels, in need of some thump for the stretch drive, might deal Tampa a lefty reliever and a player to be named later, because the Los Anaheim Devil-Angels of Costa Mesa is a fucking sweet tag. On the field, these two gangs take up hostilities again this afternoon, after the Halos swept the first two games of this series. Jeff Niemann tries to salvage one for the Bay-Rays, while Trevor Bell becomes the 100th pitcher to start a game for the Angels this season.

NY Mets @ Arizona, 1:40 In an air-conditioned box in downtown Phoenix, two lousy baseball teams will play a baseball game that means absolutely nothing. If no one attends and they forget to turn on the cameras, will it actually happen? Of course it will, there are fantasy implications. Oliver Perez and Jon Garland take the balls from their respective catchers, and if you're counting on either Oliver Perez or Jon Garland for your fantasy baseball hopes today, I'd suggest some strong liquor.

LA Dodgers @ San Francisco, 1:45 The Giants rolled into this series after beating up on some damn good teams, including taking a series from the defending champion Phillies. They'd closed to within four and a half of the Dodgers, who'd lost 10 of 15 and have No. 1 starter Chad Billingsley gimpy and missing today's start.

So what happens? The Dodgers simply fuck the Giants up in the first two games of the series and stand to sweep today. San Fran has very nice pitching, but even with Fat Ichiro and new additions Ryan Garko and Freddy Sanchez their lineup is really, really weak. At least reigning Cy Younger Tim Lincecum starts today, against Weaver. Which Weaver, you ask? Both brothers play in SoCal, they have similar haircuts, and both of their first names start with J. So which one? The bad one. Oh, you mean Jeff. Try to throw strikes, my brother, and Play Ball!