Baseball In The Daytime: 30 September 2009

Welcome, boys and girls, to the very last Baseball In The Daytime of September. Tomorrow we hit the month that Reggie Jackson made famous, the month that includes the playoffs--unless of course the World Series goes longer than five games.

Today we're starting off with the front ends of two doubleheaders necessitated by rainouts, and then wrapping up the day slate with a Mets-Nats tilt from DC. Every single team playing today has been eliminated from postseason consideration, these games are beneath meaning. Not even degenerate gamblers or fantasy geeks care--if you're betting on games involving the Pirates, Cubs, White Sox, Indians, Mets or Nats, you're probably also living under a bridge. And if your fantasy team contains players from any of those teams, your season is most likely done.

But hey, let's celebrate the pastime anyway! Joyous previews and sunshiney trivia after the jump!

Pittsburgh @ Chicago Cubs, 12:05 Mountain At least the Pirates are still trying--they took three of four from the Dodgers over the weekend to delay LA's not-quite-inevitable division championship a few days. In the final game of that series Monday, Zach Duke took an 11-0 shutout into the ninth. He yielded a run in that frame, yet one out away from a complete game blowout manager John Russell yanked him.

Look, we keep tabs on the Kansas City Royals in this space, so we know a little something about bad baseball teams and thickheaded management making not-smart decisions. But these Pirates--wow. Just wow. Charlie Morton gets the nod from Russell today opposite Ted Lilly.

Chicago White Sox @ Cleveland. 2:05 The other Windy City failure sets up shop next to Lake Erie this afternoon, as some kid who goes by the name of Carlos Torres dons the uniform of Eddie Cicotte and Horacio Ramirez. Will Torres throw the World Series and/or post a WHIP of 2.50? You'll have to watch to find out, as he battles Fausto Carmona in front of several dozen fans.

Los Mets @ Washington, 2:35 Tim Redding and John Lannan pitch, you decide. That's my little Fox News intro for this game. Take care, folks, we'll see you during Rocktober!
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Baseball in the Daytime: Dualing Reacharounds

It's the last week of August which means baseball games that take place in the daytime will be coming to a close, which is sad, really. Day baseball is glorious, and when it involves mostly bad teams wrapping up four-game series, well, it's even gloriouser. Today there are two reacharounds on tap, and surprisingly, they're both rubber matches. Enjoy them while you can because September means pennant races, prime-time baseball, and less focus on bad baseball, ideally. Normally Old No. 7 is your reacharound expert, but he's a bit tied up this morning, what with all of the Sunday reaching around in which he usually engages. I could write more sentences, and try to use the word "which" a few more times, but let's skip that notion, and get to today's slate, post-jump.

Philadelphia @ New York, 12:10 Central: A lefty by the name of Cliff Lee seeks win number 12 on the season today in New York. He'll do battle with righty Bobby Parnell of New York, who, like his Los Mets counterparts, is not very good. New York could settle the series with a win today, which would not really help their case -- 15 1/2 back -- that much. Philly, however, could use the extra cushion as Atlanta's a half-game notch over the six mark behind them. Catch all the thrills nonetheless on DirecTV 721 if you're watchin', XM 183 if you're blind.

Milwaukee @ Washington, 3:35: Our second contest pits two righties against one another. It's Yovani Garllardo for the Brew Crew, Collin Balester for the Nats. Much like our first contest, the visiting starter's looking to tally his dozenth win of the season, while he who toes the slab for the home team, is, uh, not good. Milwaukee's hopes of a wildcard race have faded quickly. They've dropped to fourth in the N.L. Central and are nearly 11 games behind St. Louis. Washington, on the other hand, really wants Bryce Harper. Catch this tilt, if you must, on DirecTV 722 or 723, or have a listen on XM, same station as Philly-New York.

That's all the reacharound one man can handle for a Monday afternoon. Enjoy.
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Baseball In The Daytime: 19 August 2009

Our lone matinee in baseball today happens to feature the House of Georges' favorite bad ballclub. So come with me, ladies and gentlemens, to the bucolic South Side of Chicago, where our beloved Royals attempt to either win a Major League baseball game or advance one step closer to drafting Bryce Harper. It's a win-win, really, after the jump...

Kansas City @ Chicago White Sox, 12:05 Mountain This game at U.S. Cellular Field features starting pitchers Zack Greinke and Jose Contreras. Contreras is a washed-up old Cuban forkballer who spent a chunk of the season in Triple-A because he gets torched regularly. Greinke has been one of the AL's best pitchers this season, but let's examine exactly how good.

Greinke's record stands at 11-7, but that's much more a function of the jersey he wears than his pitching ability. His teammates have given him just 4.71 runs of support per start, lowest in the AL among pitchers who've thrown 100+ innings. In his last start Friday against the Tigers, he went seven strong and allowed one run as the Royals went down 1-0. It was the fourth time KC has been shut out in Greinke's starts this season and the second time he's lost 1-0. In those four shutout losses he's tallied 28 innings and yielded four earned runs.

For the year Grienke's ERA of 2.33 leads the league, as do his 20 quality starts. He's third in strikeouts (174) and strikeouts per 9 innings (9.41) behind Justin Verlander and Jon Lester, and seventh in innings pitched at 166 2/3. Could Greinke possibly capture the Cy Young on a last-place club?

It's happened before, in 1972, when Steve Carlton went 27-10 for a Phillies team that won only 59 games total. Greinke is nowhere near Lefty's year, which was among the best ever--Carlton notched 30 complete games, struck out 310, had a 1.97 era and a 15-game winning streak. The young Royal ace is helped by a relatively weak AL field, however, and has an outside shot at the Cy.

The leaders at this point are probably Verlander and Roy Halladay, with the Red Sox duo of Lester and Josh Beckett likely to draw votes as well. Verlander is 13-6 with a 3.28 ERA, 194 strikeouts and a 1.16 WHIP in '09, while Halladay's gone 13-5/2.65/144/1.08. Verlander will get credit for his status as the ace of a probable division winner, which he should. But If Verlander fades, there is no reason for Halladay to receive the award ahead of Greinke when the Royal has significantly better numbers. Stank already lost the starting gig in the All-Star game to Doc because of reputation alone, if he were denied a Cy Young for the same reason it would be a crime.

As for the rest of the Royals, someone has finally crystallized what the remainder of the season is all about--megaphenom Bryce Harper and the No. 1 pick in 2010. Bleacher Report has taken up the task of following the race for the bottom, which currently has the Nats in the lead. KC has closed to within four games, so there's opportunity in these last six weeks to catch up (or down, whatever). And if you're a Royals fan who, like our very own Banky, can't stomach wishing for failure, just pull for the Nats--except today, when the play the Rockies. Just lose, baby, and Play Ball!
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Baseball In The Daytime: May 13, 2009

This week may have the lightest MLB schedule of any all year, outside April at least. Only four games were played Monday, and six teams have the day off tomorrow. The Oakland Athletics, as a matter of fact, have two off days this week, which is just nuts. Get back to work, you white-shoed sloths.

It's appropriate that our day game schedule debuts in the American League Central, because I'm forming a nebulous opinion that it's the best division in baseball. Not the one with the most good teams, mind you--both Eastern gaggles have more firepower. I just think the AL Central is fascinating in the fact that here, a month and a half into the season, we have no idea how it will shape up.

Will the Indians continue to give up the most runs in baseball? I say no. Will the White Sox keep on getting nothing from the top of the lineup and puny HR totals? Barring a big trade, yes and maybe. Will the Twins sort out their pitching calamities and jumbled outfield? Magic eight-ball says it is likely. And will Detroit fall out of the race and conduct a fire sale the likes of the sport hasn't seen since the late-90s Marlins? Considering the fact that they're starting ex-Marlin Dontrelle Willis today, fellow former Fish Miguel Cabrera makes eleventy billion dollars and the GM (Dave Dombrowski) and manager (Jim Leyland) both matriculated in South Florida, I'd say bet the farm on that shopping bonanza.

The most compelling drama in the division, of course, continues to radiate from Kansas City. Those adorable, scrappy Royals still have their head above water, even after Dayton Moore performed a Ponsonectomy and called up Triple-A superstar Luke Hochevar for last night's game against those lazy A's. The result? Two innings, eight earned for young Luke, who was followed by newly minted long-relief ace Sir Sidney. Whoops! This team has the parts necessary to keep up the fight, they simply need to sustain their effort and get better production from the bottoms of the order and rotation. Oh, and hide Kyle Farnsworth in a closet.

Your schedule, after the jump...

Chicago White Sox @ Cleveland, 10:05 Mountain Jim Thome has spent most of his career on these two clubs, and that's why I'm like fuck the Denver Post. The Mile High City's lone daily used the Manny Ramirez suspension to lower journalistic standards even further last week. The Post ran a graphic underneath the Manny story showing the five most prolific active home-run hitters: Manny, A-Rod, Gary Sheffield, Thome and Ken Griffey. It placed the former three under the banner of "TAINTED," while Thome and Griff were labeled "CLEAN." I am so sick of this bullshit I could punch a cat. Not only is the evidence linking any of these guys to actual steroids suspicious (I'm not naive, I know they're dirty, but come on), but you can't say anyone who played baseball prior to 2004 is "clean." You just can't. maybe Griff and Thome were all natural, but the odds that they never dabbled, not even once, are slim. Too slim to say they are, without a sliver of doubt, "clean."

Mark Buehrle, who has stopped beating his wife, faces off against Cliff Lee, who may or may not have checked into drug rehab, in this battle of crafty lefties. Or so reads the Denver Post.

Atlanta @ NY Mets, 11:10 There's potential for more lefty-on-lefty violence this afternoon at the stadium you the federal taxpayer sponsor, Citi Field. I would have called it U.S. Postal Service Stadium at Sea Level or Mesa Verde National Park Park. But that's just me. Jo-Jo Reyes matches southpaw deliveries with Jonathan Niese, in quite possibly baseball's first Jo-Jo/Jonathan showdown.

Washington @ San Francisco, 1:45 I can not figure out Shairon Martis. I saw him as evidence coming into the season that the Nats would be really awful, because he's like their No. 2 starter and he sucks bad. But here we are--Washington has 10 wins, worst in the game, yet Martis is 4-0. I don't have a calculator in front of me but that's like 38.2 per cent of their total. It just goes to show you, if you don't Shairon, you'd better know somebody. Or something. Barry Zito starts for the Giants and will attempt to squelch Ryan Zimmerman's 30-game hit streak. Play Ball, fellas!
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Baseball in the Daytime: 4-8--09

Ultimately, this BitD chair is usually occupied by a wiser, craftier baseball muse than myself, but you, fair reader, are stuck with me until Old No. 7's kid has obtained his first official position in the city council. Or at least until he's driving, and believe you me when I say that if Jackson follows Cecil's lead, you and I are in this one for the long haul, so you may as well get used to my witless droning, my American League bias, and my PBR farts.

More importantly, there are a few games on the slate today, and they're kind of AA-ish in that they're all National League matches (Editor's Note: cocks cheek, offers gassy emission), but there's some value to tuning in today, as we have the opportunity to see if the Phils get swept, and we can weigh in on who's who in the West. So take note, your schedule is a click away.

Nationals @ Marlins, 11:10 Central: This tilt in Miami is our only pre-nooner today, and it features batter's-box chicken-shit Daniel Cabrera for the visitors, and he'll take on former first-rounder Chris Volstad and the home squad in this battle of righties. Tune in (Tokyo) to this one on DirecTV 721 if you're a Nats fan, 722 if you feel for the fish. Or XM has it on the ever-popular 183.

Braves @ Phillies, 2:05: Javier Vazquez and Joe Blanton, who may or may not look like a fat, racist truck driver from Birmingham, are your starters in game three of this series, one in which the defending champs have yet to obtain a W. It's another duel of right-handers, and you can view it on DirecTV 723, or put an ear to a speaker at XM 184.

Rockies @ D'backs, 2:40: And for our third match of the afternoon, we finally get some left-handed action, as Franklin Morales meets Doug Davis in the desert. In the rubber match of this trio of games, Morales must impress, or, allegedly, he may slip out of the rotation, and his challenge is not an easy one against the one-time strikeout machine Davis who saw limited action last season as he battled thyroid cancer. This is a tough one -- found on DTV 724, 725 or XM 185 -- to predict, but I gotta imagine that the team with Seth fucking Smith on the roster gets the nod. Word on the street is that it's only a matter of time before this guy explodes. Hell, newbie Fort Collins Cosmic Underdog has already signed him in our fantasy league, which counts for something. Right?

Whatever. Enjoy the afternoon, and remember to actually do a little work while you're filling in your scorecard.
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Lineup Against the Wall: Washington Nationals

Not gonna waste any more of your precious time here. You know how to jump in the get-down.


Once upon a time, Washington D.C. was host to a baseball team named the Senators. Or were they" From the Administrator's favorite source:

One of the American League's eight charter franchises, the club was founded in Washington, D.C. in 1901 as the Washington Senators. That was a carryover nickname from a previous, unrelated club in the National League. In 1905 the team changed its official name to the Washington Nationals.[1] The name "Nationals" would appear on the uniforms for only 2 seasons, and would then be replaced with the "W" logo for the next 52 years. The media often shortened the nickname to "Nats". Many fans and newspapers (especially out-of-town papers) persisted in using the "Senators" nickname. Over time, "Nationals" faded as a nickname, and "Senators" became dominant. Baseball guides would list the club's nickname as "Nationals or Senators", acknowledging the unique dual-nickname situation.

Whatever. "Senators" is a great name for a squad. They boasted more than a few famous players, too: Walter "Big Train" Johnson, most notably, but also slightly lesser lights like Sam Rice, Joe Cronin and Harmon "The Killer" Killebrew. They never won anything, with the exception of 1924--when Calvin Coolidge was president and my father was born, yes, my parents were/are much older than average--and they took home a series victory vs. the favored Giants of John McGraw. Other than that, the gag about Washington was: first in war, first in peace, last in the American League.

And then left and turned into the Minnesota Twins. Kirby Puckett, Kent Hrbek, Greg Gagne, World Series wins, Lonnie Smith fucking up on the basepaths, craziness.

Anyway, the team that's in D.C. now has not a scrap of history, or anything else, going for it in any way, shape or form. The lineup:

Catcher -- Jesus Flores
First Base -- Nick Johnson
Second Base -- Ronnie Belliard
Third Base -- Ryan Zimmerman
Shortstop -- Cristian Guzman
Left Field -- Adam Dunn
Center Field -- Lastings Milledge
Right Field -- Austin Kearns

Starting Pitchers:

John Lannan (L)
Scott Olsen (L)
Daniel Cabrera (R)
Jordan Zimmermann (R)
Shairon Martis (R)

Relief Pitchers:

Saul Rivera (R)
Joe Beimel (L)
Steven Shell (R)
Julian Tavarez (R)
Wil Ledezma (L)

Closer:

Joel Hanrahan (R)

Bottom Line: Ugh. There's individual talent--Elijah Dukes is even lurking somewhere on this roster--but man, I'm about to eat dinner and I want to keep my appetite. Their best starter is John Lannan, who wouldn't be bad as a #3. Lastings Milledge is the starting centerfielder. Adam Dunn is...well, around. Fail. Massive, humiliating Fail.

Projected Finish: 5th in the NL East.



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Baseball In The Daytime: 8-22-08

It's yet another Friday, the next to last before the unofficial end of summer. I say summer ends on Labor Day. For some it ends with the first official college football games, which are coming up on Thursday. Which would make today the last Friday of summer. That doesn't fly with me--look at these games we're stuck with Thursday. They're horrible. Just go with my original game plan--summer ends on Labor Day.

And don't get me started with that equinox crap. This ain't no astronomy blog, Pointdexter.

So here's your standard preview for your standard Cubs game, just hop over the ivy...

Washington @ Chicago Cubs, 12:20 Mountain This one should be a treat. The Cubs come in with the game's best record and best run differential, they've scored a whopping 171 more runs than they've yielded. Meanwhile, the Nats are dead last in both categories. If this were, say, football, you'd install the Cubs as 30-point favorites.

But this is baseball, where anything can happen. John Lannan, today's starter for the Nationals, could throw a two-hit shutout. Ryan Zimmerman could hit three home runs off of Cub hurler Jason Marquis. Chicago could hit into seven double plays. The umps could botch a few calls, or Aramis Ramirez could make a few errors. Anything could happen, but what's most likely is that the Cubs win 8-2. Play Ball!
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Baseball In The Daytime: 8-11-08

On Saturday night at Coors Field, I had a lot of fun. Even though the home team lost, I got a chance to heckle Brian Giles mercilessly. Giles turned down a deal to the Red Sox last week, passing on a chance to play in the postseason for the first time. He's rather stay in last place. So I called him a bum and a loser and he went 0-for-5. Good times.

Much has been made about Manny Ramirez's actions just before the trade deadline, what many see as him quitting on the Red Sox. Manny was traded to the Dodgers, and all of a sudden he's hitting like crazy, hustling, and his "aching" knees seem perfectly healthy. On Saturday, Buster Olney posted this on his blog:

These are observations made only with the benefit of 20-20 hindsight, and not meant to be a criticism of Bud Selig. Nobody in baseball is conditioned to deal with the possibility that a player might willfully become a cancer on his team in pursuit of a contractual change. But privately, as the smoke has cleared, many folks within the game believe that what might have taken place with Ramirez represents a threat greater to the core tenet of baseball competition than any player ingesting steroids -- "At least those guys were trying to get better for themselves and the team," said one GM -- and perhaps as great as the Pete Rose and Black Sox betting scandals.

Now I'll agree Manny's actions were shameful. Any player that does not appear to give full effort toward winning should be benched, fined and publicly lambasted. But why is there not a similar outcry over what Giles did? Why is choosing to play for a lousy team and spurning a winning one any different than the petulant tantrums of Manny Ramirez?

But that's enough deep thought, let's get to the sunshine hardball...

Pittsburgh @ NY Mets, 11:10 Mountain It's always interesting to see what happens to dominant pitches as they get a little older. Some, like Nolan Ryan, just stay dominant. Some, like The Rocket and The Unit, maintain much of their bite but see their ERAs climb a little and their strikeouts decline. Some, like Kevin Brown, simply go away.

And then you have guys like Pedro Martinez. He was the finest pitcher on the planet at the turn of the millennium, an untouchable artiste. His filthy stuff was matched only by his shocking bravado and Jheri curls. But then Pedro milked one last big contract out of the Mets and fell apart. His starts are less appointments than little surprises--"Hey, Pedro's pitching today." He can barely register 90 on the gun, he tires quickly, and his breaking pitches just sort of roll. It's a little sad, but at least he's out making a living, as opposed to swimming in Kevin Brown's pool full of stolen money. Zach Duke goes up against Pedro today at Shea.

Washington @ Milwaukee, 12:05 As the Brew Crew tries to hold on in both the NL Central and wild-card races, the Nats are playing out the string. Today the start a kid named Garrett Mock. You'd think I would make sport of that handle, but you'd be wrong. Nothing to Mock here. The Brewers go with Dave Bush, whose Spanish name is Arbusto. Play Ball!

Update: Upon doing a little research, I discovered that Brian Giles actually has playoff experience. Quite a bit, matter of fact. He played on the excellent Indians teams that went to the dance from 1996-98, and his Padres snuck in to the NL postseason in '05 and '06. He has a .208 lifetime October average with no homers in 29 games.

My point still stands. If you're satisfied with a career that peaked with four at-bats in the '97 World Series loss to the Marlins, you're playing for the wrong reasons. San Diego is beautiful and its ladies are magnificent. But you can live there in the offseason and live there for the rest of your life. If you're afraid of playing for a good team, you're a loser.
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Baseball In The Daytime: 8-7-08

It's Live Attendance Week here at the HoG, as our various staff members have decided to purchase tickets for actual baseball games. Banky took in the Royals' home tilt against the defending champs last night, where his boys got smoked and his one of his key fantasy cogs left with an injury. Cecil and I are scheduled to drop by for the Rockies' game versus San Diego on Saturday with the wives, where I'll watch Greg Maddux pitch live for the first time. And I'm sure Anachro is bunkered at the Los Anaheim Sports Complex scouting his Halos. He's the only one of us that makes the time to regularly watch his team in the flesh, although the duties of fatherhood and husbandry definitely take their toll.

Even if you live in the remote wilderness like I do, I think it's vital to take in at least one pro baseball game each summer. We went to a few spring training contests back in March, which was nice. But I'm talking real baseball, baseball that counts. Although we're discussing the Rockies, Royals and Padres. Never mind on that, let's go to Baseball In The Daytime...

San Diego @ NY Mets, 10:10 Mountain As botched as the firing of Willie Randolph was--and make no mistake, it was botched--it did give the Mets a boost in the short term. They're back to underachieveing, but today's starter is the key to their postseason hopes. If Johan Santana pitches like Johan Santana, that's the edge over the Phillies and Marlins that Los Mets need. Josh Banks is the other guy.

Florida @ Philadelphia, 11:05 Those two teams that New York is chasing in the NL East face off in Philly today, with Chris Volstad and Cole Hamels doing the honors of starting. These Marlins are basebal zombies, they will. not. die. Uggla and/or Ramirez in slumps? No problem. Awful pitching? Who cares? They have the resilience of cock-a-roaches, which Tony Montana can not kill.

LA Dodgers @ St Louis, 12:15 Another day, another closer for the Cards. After Jason Isringhausen battled injury and suckitude, the Redbirds installed Ryan Franklin, who was great. But then Izzy came back off the DL and infected Franklin with his funk, now neither can get an out. Enter Chris Perez, last night's savior. Today? Tune in to find out. Kyle Lohse tries to get a lead to Perez or whomever, while LA's Clayton Kershaw tries not to shit his pants.

Washington @ Colorado, 1:05 & 4:00 That's right, kids, let's play two! Due to last night's torrential storm that forced many residents to build arks, a doubleheader is on tap at Coors this afternoon. The return of Jeff Francis has been delayed, further proof that Mother Nature loathes Canada. Francis faces Jason Bergmann in the opener, while Odalis Perez and Ubaldo Jimenez do the deed in Game Two. Head on down to LoDo and Play Ball!
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Baseball in the Daytime: 7-24-08

We've got a trio of matches slated for this fine day of late-July baseball. One of today's games feature league leaders, while the other two tend more towards the bottom of their respective divisions. Of the three, two are of the National League variety, while the lone AL contest features a guy looking to keep up with the Mussinas in the double-digits wins category. I'll give you a hint: he hails from Denver, CO and boasts 1200+ strikeouts in his career. That, and he just might be the cat pictured here on the left, but I can't give away any other details. Find out more on this mystery man after the jump.

Phillies @ Los Mets, 11:10: The first on the docket today is a slugfest between the tied-for-first-place-in-the-NL Central clubs that call Philadelphia and New York home. The Phils send lefty Jamie Moyer to the mound, he of the 9-6 record and winner of his last two starts. His opponent will be the also-southpaw Oliver Perez, who currently sits at 6-6. The Mets took yesterday's contest 6-3, likely angering the Phanatic and all baseball fans in Philly. Check 722 for your Philly DirecTV feed, 723 if you root for Los Mets. XM calls the pitches on 189.

Blue Jays @ Orioles, 11:35: Twenty-five minutes later, 11-win Roy Halladay and the Canadian Blue Jays take on Daniel Cabrera and the Baltimore birds. Both of these righties are on the positive side of .500 for their personal records thus far, and both clubs likely don't enjoy their spots at the bottom of the AL East. The Jays are 10 games behind the Rays, while the O's have another half game to whittle away. DirecTV's got the match on 724, and XM will hook you on the 178.

Capitals at Giants, 2:45: Later in the afternoon, it's a war between the coasts, as two more righties square off in the form of San Fran's Matt Cain and Washington's Tim Redding. Both pitchers have their E.R.A.s above four, and will seek to lower them in the Bay Area. Nats feed over on DirecTV is 725; Giants is one digit higher. XM delivers the broadcast 183-style.

That's what's in store for BitD today. Now get out there and gripe about that strike zone!

(Update: It just occurred to me that this post didn't get published before I left the house this morning -- a.k.a. prior to the start of these games -- which certainly had nothing to do with the fact that I was still drunk when I woke up, which renders this post totally useless. Annoying? I'm in agreeance. I blame Al Gore.)
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Baseball In The Daytime: 5-29-08

You know you're old when the wife leaves town for a week and all you can think about is getting to watch more sports. God I am lame. I have watched more NBA this week than all year combined, and last night I actually tuned in to the Stanley Cup Finals. It was at halftime or something. I did not return.

But mostly I watch the baseball. And on a day like today, with the Red Sox off, I poke around the bigs looking for decent pitching matchups to dial up. No luck--in fact, today's mound battles may be the worst I've ever seen. Not just for Baseball In The Daytime either--tonight's slate is equally repulsive. The best head to head may be Barry Zito versus The Unit. What time's the hockey match?

Atlanta @ Milwaukee, 11:05 Mountain This game pits two of the three cities that have hosted the Braves, and both franchises that employed Hank Aaron. What's not at stake are any Cy Young awards, as Jorge Campillo and Seth McClung shuffle toward the hill. Both these schlubs are career relievers pressed into starting service by widespread injuries in their respective rotations. I hope the outfield fences at Miller Park are built up to code, they're in for a workout this afternoon.

Toronto @ Oakland, 1:35 We'll call this one Name Your Frank Thomas. The Big Hurt has played for both clubs this year. The Canadian version: .167 batting, .333 slugging. Californiafied: .319, .516. But both places allow gay marriage. Rustle up a man-date and get your sassy asses down to the Al Davis Memorial Creepatorium, where Jesse Litsch and Dana Eveland start.

Washington @ San Diego, 1:35 Those of you that play the fantasy baseball in daily leagues may be familiar with the concept of "streaming" starting pitchers. That is, you pick up a free agent SP every day and then drop him after his start, thus building up your innings and strikeouts. The risk? Free agent pitchers typically stink. I'm paddling the "stream" this week in my battle against the hideous Old Man, and today's lucky selection is Washington National John Lannan. He replaces yesterday's arm du jour, Jake Westbrook. I know, this is all massively fascinating, but thank your lucky stars I didn't go with Lannan's opponent Wilfredo Ledezma. Because that paragraph would have been really boring. Play Ball!
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