Baseball In The Daytime: 1 October 2009

Buckle your chin straps and fasten your safety belts, because this is the penultimate Baseball In The Daytime of the whole year and it's a humdinger. That was about the most nonsensical sentence imaginable, as you don't wear helmets or seatbelts while watching day baseball. Unless you're mentally retarded, in which case I apologize for my gross insensitivity to your condition.

Also, I believe that at least a few of next week's Division Series games will be played during daylight hours, so I was wrong there as well. WHO'S THE RETARD NOW?

Juvenile insults aside, we truly do have some killer games on the sked this afternoon. We've got a Cy Young race to decide, a possible playoff spot to clinch, and home field issues on the Senior Circuit to untangle. Some teams are rising, some stumbling, some playing out the string, and some trying to build a little momentum for the offseason. Let's get right into the fray, after the jump...

St. Louis @ Cincinnati, 10:35 Mountain The popular scuttlebutt holds that the NL Cy Young battle is a three-man race. Those men are Tim Lincecum of the Giants (who won in '08) and Cardinals teammates Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright. For my money Wainwright's the guy--he's been the most consistently unhittable from start to finish, even though Carpenter and Lincecum have slightly better stuff. It's not wrapped up, however, and a memorable start by Carpenter today could sway some of the spineless chin-strappers that inhabit the Baseball Writers of America. Carpenter's foil today is Cincinnati's Kip Wells.

Of more import than individual awards is the seeding in the NL playoffs. The Dodgers are still on top of the league with 93 wins, but they've dropped four straight to the putrid Pirates and Padres by a combined score 0f 25-7. Philadelphia sits a game behind with 92 wins, while the Rockies and Cardinals are currently at 90. All four of these teams are still in the mix for the top spot, and so every game they play over the next four days is impactful for playoff positioning.

Minnesota @ Detroit, 11:05 Over in the American League, we've got but one spot in the October tournament up for grabs. Someone has to win the Central division, and that someone will be one of the two teams wrasslin' at Comerica today. The Tigers, thanks to last night's 7-2 TKO of the Twins, hold a commanding three-game lead with four to play. A Detroit win behind lefty Nate Robertson means the race is over, good night, please hand in your keys. Should Scott Baker and Minnesota prevail, however, we keep this slugfest alive for at least one more day.

Milwaukee @ Colorado, 1:10 The brooms are out at Coors today, along with whatever symbolic trinketry you smuggle in when you're about to clinch. A boxing glove? A roll of toilet paper? An octopus? I don't know the protocol here. Aaron Cook starts for the home Rockies, who with a win lock down their second playoff berth in three seasons. Manny Parra tries to prevent any celebration on his watch, and you know what? Fuck Manny Parra and fuck the Brewers. We're taking a stand today, and it is decidedly homeriffic in the Centennial State.

With a victory, Colorado can also stay alive for a super-unlikely division crown, which would be their first. Tomorrow the Rox start a season-ending three-gamer at Chavez Ravine versus the free-falling Dodgers.

Arizona @ San Francisco, 1:45 The last of our BitD four-spot features the day's finest pitching matchup, Dan Haren against Lincecum. Haren has gone into his traditional second-half swoon, transforming from onetime Cy candidate to a guy who gives up five a game. Not that I'm bitter, not that I need Dan Haren to show up today to salvage my fading hopes in a fantasy baseball final. Let's throw a few strikes today, fellas, and Play Ball! Read more

Baseball in the Daytime: The Feisty Two-Four of September

They keep scheduling the day-baseball games, even though the sheer numbers of contests keep dwindling. But we here at the House of Georges, love us our day baseball, so we're gonna keep previewing these glorious matches. If you're not in agreeance with the awesomeness of being at the yard in the sun on a weekday, we might have to box, and if that's the case -- look out. We're scrappy. We mix our Scott Feldman with a touch of Kyle Farnsworth, a spot of Michael Barrett, a dash of Mike Sweeney, and (assuming you're an old, dumpy base coach) a twist of Pedro Martinez. So, go ahead: hit the heavy bag, run a few laps, but before you do, hop past the leap and see if today's matinees don't seem more enticing than losing a fight with us tough guys.

Cincinnati @ Pittsburgh, 11:35 Central: We kick things off today with a pair of righties, neither of whom has had a ton of luck on the hill this season. It's Bronson Arroyo (13-13, 4.04 E.R.A.) going for the visiting team, the 4-8 Charlie Morton for las Piratas. Morton's 4-8 with an even five earned-run average. These clubs'll take the PNC Park field today with visions of a better next year. They're 15 and 29 games out, respectively, essentially done for 2009. Listen in if you're so inclined, on XM 183.

Texas @ Oakland, 2:35: The second of two light-free contests today takes place at the Coliseum in Oaktown. Your starters include the 17-5 Scott Feldman for the A's, whose posted an impressive 3.62, and southpaw Brett Andeson for the Athletics, who sits at 10-10 with a 4.21. Oakland is like our previous two teams: done for the season, while Texas can't seem to get over that seven-game distance between them and first-place Los Anaheim. They're also seven games back of Boston for a Wild Card spot, so they'd ultimately need to play mistake-free baseball and maybe even get some help to get in. Hats off to them, though, for putting together an impressive campaign, and congratulations are in order to Mr. Feldman, who, headed into today, actually has as shot at a 20-win year. If you like you some Rangers-A's, 721's your DirecTV dial. If you're listening, it's XM 176.

There you have it. Day baseball at its finest. If you can't get away from the office, plug in the headphones and pretend you're on a really long conference call.
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Baseball In The Daytime: 11 September 2009

Let's all take a moment to remember the 2,998 that lost their lives in the senseless attacks that occurred eight years ago today. Then let's leave work, buy some beer, and enjoy the fruits of American liberty. Baseball In The Daytime--something al-Qaeda can't take away.

Your daily stick of Wrigley, after the jump...

Cincinnati @ Chicago Cubs, 12:20 As we watch Dusty Baker's two most recent employers face off today, let's debate: Does Dusty have any clue what he's doing as a manager?

The short answer is no, but we'll get into a longer version of no as well. In two years commanding the Reds, Dusty will soon have two fifth-place finishes to show for it. This team is worse than the '08 model, and if you choose to make excuses you could point to the injuries that have kept Joey Votto, Edinson Volquez, Jay Bruce and Johnny Cueto out of many games this season. Those aren't Dusty's fault--except with his young starting pitchers maybe they are--and neither is the career nosedive of Aaron Harang. Dusty's also not responsible for the little joke of a bandbox the Reds play in, the one that makes it virtually impossible to develop effective pitching.

What Dusty is on the hook for is a teamwide philosophy of playing the game the wrong way. We've all heard about Dusty's loathing of OBP, walks, Moneyball and "clogging up the bases." We've seen him attempt to change the hitting philosophies of guys with great plate discipline, like Adam Dunn, Ken Griffey and Votto. We've seen him give prime spots in his lineups to awful veterans instead of promising kids--how come Neifi Perez, Wily Tavares and Corey Patterson follow Dusty from job to job when no one else will hire them? We've seen Dusty ask meathead sluggers Dunn and Edwin Encarnacion to lay down sac bunts, fail, and then watch those meatheads hit walk-off homers. And we've seen Dusty shred the arms of Mark Prior and Kerry Wood, then overwork the fresh tissue of Volquez and Cueto.

I know a lot of baseball men think today's game and today's players are soft. That if we could get back to playing the way we did when Dusty was an active baller that baseball would be better. While there's some romantic merit to this nostalgia, I think it's mostly bullshit. Players are better conditioned and better prepared than ever. The game is played on a higher level by more players than ever before. Scouting, research and statitical analysis add to this ongoing improvement. The game is simply better than it was in the 60s and 70s, but Dusty is stuck in black and white TV. Just because you stood in the on-deck circle when Hank Aaron hit No. 715 does not mean you have any clue how to win a ballgame in 2009.

Dusty values speed, which is great. Speed makes everything better. But Dusty also prioritizes fast players with no other baseball skills (like Tavares and Patterson) over slower players who can actually see and understand the game. And this is one reason the Reds can't get any better. If I'm running that team Baker is gone. But what do I know? I'm just blogging in my Fruit of the Looms in Mom's basement. Dusty assigns Dustin Lehr to pitch for his woeful Reds today, while Lou Piniella asks Rich Harden to jab and thrust. Put some pants on and Play Ball!
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Baseball In The Daytime: 31 August 2009

It's always nice to find a little day baseball on a Monday. Especially when you're taking Mondays off to watch your kid. In between the feces and the pureed butternut squash, perhaps there will be some time to sneak in a liter of Jack Daniel's and a furious bout of masturbation a pleasant little interlude of baseball.

So load up the strollers, pacifiers and Huggies and join us after the jump...

Tampa @ Detroit, 11:05 Mountain The Bay-Rays have to look at their opponents today with a serious case of jealousy. While Tampa needs to play virtually perfect ball for six months to have any shot at competing with the Yanks and Red Sox in their division, Detroit can coast for long stretches of the season. At no point have I looked at the Tigers this year and thought "Damn, that's a great team." Yet they've led the AL Central since the end of April and held off limp charges from the Twins and the White Sox without breaking a sweat. Life just ain't fair for the Bay-Rays. They go with Big Game James Shields as they attempt to even this four-game series, while Detroit sends Jarrod Washburn to the mound. Washburn has been lackluster since his acquisition from the Mariners, but it's not like this team's October dreams are pinned to Jarrod Washburn.

Pittsburgh @ Cincinnati Let's play another round of The Name Game! I tell you that your starting pitchers today at Great American Ballpark are McCutchen and Wells. You wonder, why is Andrew McCutchen pitching? Ain't he normally a centerfielder with rad hair? Why yes, I say, he is, but the pitching McCutchen is actually Daniel, making his big-league debut today. I know, they look exactly alike. We'll need a program to tell them apart this afternoon.

As for the Reds' starter today, you might wonder of which Wells do I speak? Did Cincy acquire Randy off waivers from the Cubs? Did big fat David emerge from retirement? Has someone seen a Casper? No, no and no. Our lucky Wells is the well(s)-travelled Kip, now with his eighth team in ten years. I'll bet he's got some nice luggage. Stow that Samsonite in the overhead bin and Play Ball!
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Baseball in the Daytime: el 20 de Agosto, Dos Mil Nueve

There's some Thursday day baseball on tap today, and it's comin' at you two-for-one style instead of the usual sixer. Read all about it, after the jump.

They Might Be Giants @ WKRPs, 11:35 Central: Our leadoff contest is a National League snoozer, which is a bit redundant, but hey. Just kidding San Francisco, even though they've let the SethFuckingSmiths leapfrog them in the standings, has had a pretty impressive season. They sit a dozen over .500 heading into this contest, and they'll send Matt Cain-and-Abel to the hill. He's put together an awesome 12-4 effort and kept the ol' E.R.A. under three, which is rad for a dude that may or may not kill his own brother. His adversary is one Aaron Harang-ya-Harang-ya-went-out-get-a-rope-and-hang-ya. Oh, my God, it's early. A pre-nooner even, for Harang, who's just been unappreciated this season, keeping the earned-run average to a 4.35 but going 6-14 thus far, mostly because his team's offense is awful. How awful? They've scored 14 fewer runs than the Royals, if that's any indication. Anyhoo, DirecTV has the match for you on 721, 722, or have a listen on XM 183.

Former Pilots @ Motown Roy Horn Assailants, 12:05: Couple .500+ clubs, couple .500+ pitchers set to go. I likey. My man Ryan Rowland-Smith gets the tops of innings in a Seattle uniform today, while sheep-fucker Jerrod Washburn goes for the Tigers. Both of these clubs can piss off, for all I care. Stupid Detroit keeps forcing the Royals to stay in last place in the A.L. Central, and it's like the Mariners are in on it too, threatening our general manager to continue taking all of their players. But Detroit has seen Minnesota slide in the Central and Chicago's still heel-nipping, all of two games back. Seattle, meanwhile, has continued to play respectable ball, even though they're 12 games out in the West. It's Rowland-Smith's 2-1/3.60 against Washburn's 8-7/2.95 for our second and last day baseball affair, and you can find it on DirecTV 213, 723, or 724. XM might have it, too. Check channel 176 to be sure.

There you have it, baseball fans. If you head out to the yard, drink some water and put on some sunscreen. That sun's a devil out there.
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Lineup Against The Wall: Cincinnati Reds

Going through life, you have a lot of jobs. Some of these are actual careers, some are just gigs to get you through college. When I was matriculating at The Colorado State University, I toiled as an honest-to-goodness bookmaker for a couple football seasons.

It was fun, and it created some decent supplemental income. It taught me to never gamble, because the house always wins (I rarely follow this lesson). But the most lasting tidbit I gleaned from my bookie days was how to spell Cincinnati. I always botched how many N's and T's were in there, but after typing a few hundred parlay sheets I can recall that shit in my sleep.

What's any of this have to do with the National League Base Ball Club that plays on the shores of the Ohio River? Not much, unless you consider a former Red who knew his way around a parlay sheet himself. I've always loved the history and the spectacle of the Reds, especially back when crazy old Nazi-lovin' Marge Schott owned the team. For my entire childhood the Reds, as the oldest professional baseball franchise, were given the honor of hosting the very first game of the season--Opening Day was always in Cincinnati. They had a parade, and Barry Larkin was allowed to deflower a debutante in the town square.

Then ESPN ruined baseball by pushing the start of the season up to Sunday night, which is like opening your present on Christmas Eve. Sure, you get an early gift, but it still ain't Christmas. Let's start our tour of the divisions Central in Cincinnati, where the Redlegs play a little pepper...

Here's Dusty Baker's projected lineup for the season:

1. CF Wily Taveras (R)
2. SS Alex Gonzalez (R)
3. 1B Joey Votto (L)
4. 2B Brandon Phillips (R)
5. RF Jay Bruce (L)
6. 3B Edwin Encarnacion (R)
7. LF Chris Dickerson (L)
8. C Ramon Hernandez (R)
9. Pitcher

All in all, it's about what I would throw out there. The heavy-duty sabermetrician types would pick this apart to maximize on-base, squeeze out a few more runs and minimize the damage from inevitable strikeouts, but it's fine. It's an old-school lineup, and Dusty is nothing of not an old-school guy.

I don't like Taveras, and few who truly watch the game of baseball do. It's hard to stick around this sport when you have so little ability to actually hit a baseball with any kind of authority, but Wily does it with speed, lots and lots of speed. Whenever he gets on, he'll run, and he'll certainly score with all the firepower behind him.

Alex Gonzalez returns from an injury-marred 2008 to reclaim his shortstop job from Jeff Keppinger. He'll add a ton of stability to the middle of the field, and he has the ability to handle his stick to boot.

Joey Votto is simply one of the best young hitters in the game, with a good sense of the zone and a shit ton of power. Dusty will hate the fact that he'll draw a walk with men on, but Dusty needs to check his watch and whittle another toothpick--first base and the three-hole are locked down in Cincinnati for years to come.

Brandon Phillips is an enigma--he's suited to lead off with his speed, or possibly bat sixth or seventh. But cleanup actually serves him well. It's just weird to see a second baseman bat there. I think he'll hit a few more bombs this year than last, and with a more seasoned Jay Bruce protecting him he should see better pitches and turn in better at-bats. If Phillips could shave 30 whiffs off the back of his baseball card he could be an absolute monster, plus he still runs when he gets on.

Bruce was a much ballyhooed prospect when he was called up last year, and although he slumped late he really appears to be legitimate. A great contact bat with sneaky power, he could do anything from win a batting title to hit 40 homers. He's got a sweet swing and he's fun to watch--even though Junior Griffey has left town there's still a picturesque windmill spinning in the Reds' lineup.

Quietly, Edwin Encarnacion has evolved into a pretty good player. He still gives away too many ABs and loses focus, but at a thin position Cincinnati has a fairly steady player who's grown remarkably and is still only 26. He gives the Reds even more power, respectable speed and defense, and one of the most tradeable commodities on the roster.

I don't know dick about Chris Dickerson, so I'll get to the eight-hole. Ramon Hernandez came over from the Orioles in the offseason, and it's my belief he'll have a nice season. This team needs a catcher who'll work with a young staff, particularly the Latin kids. The Venezuelan Hernandez ought to be able to break down the slumps of Johnny Cueto and Edinson Volquez a bit more deftly than Paul Bako. He can also hit a lot more than Paul Bako, but I think former Cincinnati mayor Jerry Springer can hit more than Paul Bako. I like Paul Bako, but this is a massive improvement in the lineup.

The bench is paper thin, so no one is allowed to get hurt or popsicles will not be served after the game. There's the lineup for your Cincinnati Red Stockings, boys and girls, let's show them our appreciation. Anyone?
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Hey, Let's Talk Baseball

All this offseason NFL drama is enough to tucker somebody out. Let's venture, for just a minute, to the pastoral fields of Florida and Arizona. It's Spring Training--Catch The Very Mild Fever!

In every sport, folks wonder how much the preseason matters. At a time when my favorite team sits at 2-5 in the Grapefruit League, and my home-state representatives have posted an 0-7 mark in the Cactus, I'm arguing that exhibition games don't matter at all. Not one bit, nope. Just warming up.

Come along, kids, if you dare. There's much more meaningless action after the jump...

Manny Your Post The Dodgers and estranged slugger Manny Ramirez came to terms on a two-year, $45 million contract that includes a player option in 2010. It's a good thing that Manny employs the cuddly and beloved Scott Boras as his agent--that dude is a negotiating mastermind. Through his incredible willpower and financial savvy, Boras got Manny the exact same contract that was on the table last week, for the exact same money that's been in play for three months. I suppose Boras did allow Manny to miss the first two weeks of practice and stuff, which freed Ramirez up to collect modern art or play with Legos. That is definitely worth ten per cent.

One thing this insures is that the Dodger lineup will be devastating this year. LA Times blogger Jon Weisman projects this:

1. Rafael Furcal (S) SS
2. Russell Martin (R) C
3. Andre Ethier (L) RF
4. Manny Ramirez (R) LF
5. James Loney (L) 1B
6. Matt Kemp (R) CF
7. Orlando Hudson (S) 2B
8. Casey Blake (R) 3B

You may ask what the big deal is, just adding one player, even if that player is as potent as Manny. I think that dropping such a proven vet in the middle of all those young kids is like adding a match to gasoline. If Loney or Martin of Kemp felt like they needed to carry the Dodgers, I think their production would suffer. Let Manny carry that burden and those guys will thrive.

And that, folks, is what will pass for serious analysis in this installment. Back to the snark and fag jokes.

In Dusty We Trust Dusty Baker, the Herm Edwards of baseball, was at it again yesterday. Dusty noticed that his best hitter, infielder Brandon Phillips, spends far more time next to him in the dugout than on the basepaths. So Dusty wants Phillips to hone his strike zone awareness.

That's very progressive, Dusty, but where do I get the notion that this whole on-base percentage is very, very new to you? Here. Reds fans, I'm sorry to say it but your manager has brought a knife to a gunfight.

Small Market My Ass I know I've beat this dead horse for years (the HoG turns two in two weeks, we're registered at Target), but I think small-market clubs using financial woes as an excuse for playing poorly is bullshit. The economy is certainly in the toilet and the stock market decimated. This has many teams shedding payroll and many investors bailing out.

You know what smart guys, especially ones with balls, do during times like these? They buy cheap. Warren Buffett has made billions capitalizing on undervalued assets in economic downturns, and A's GM Billy Beane always fields a competitive squad despite one of MLB's skimpiest budgets. Beane inked Orlando Cabrera, vastly underpriced at $4 million, to take over from always-injured Bobby Crosby at short, and added Nomar as a utility man. This after picking up former MVP Jason Giambi for $15 million less than his 2008 salary and superstar Matt Holliday for scraps (sorry Rockies).

Beane knows that the AL West is winnable, and even if his thin pitching does him in, he can unload these veterans in July to rebuild. This is how you play the front office game.

I Love A Parade Captain Cheeseburger wants one. He's come to the right town.

The World Is Bud Selig's Oyster Baseball Classic I guess the World Baseball Classic started early this morning in Tokyo. I'd give you a score, but you're already on the fucking Internet, do it yourself. I'm not your God damned lackey. I think I'm going to love the WBC, but I said that last time and the U.S. lost to Canada. This time we have to travel to Toronto for the first round, and my anger levels are approaching redline. We fucking invented this game, the weather in the southern portion of this nation is gorgeous, and yet our best and brightest baseballers have to go play on the plastic carpet of a second-rate country. I'll ask again, what good is an enormous military if you can't use it to subsume our weak-ass neighbors to the north? Riddle me that, President Obama.

Clever Headline Starting With The Letter A and a Hyphen Goes Here Alex Rodriguez has a cyst in his hip and may have to miss the next ten weeks of baseball. This would knock him out of the WBC and force him to skip the opening of the New Yankee Stadium, where he would be mercilessly booed. Today A-Rod flies to Vail, where he'll get his hip checked out at the world-renowned Steadman-Hawkins clinic. I predict one thing: Rape. You see, Steadman-Hawkins was where Kobe Bryant was visiting when he bent a hotel employee over a chair for some "consensual" good times. And Kobe shared his smooth pickup skills with A-Rod on the set of this commercial:

Of course, A-Rod may have also picked up some party tips from another rocker in that video. Innocent residents of Eagle County, Colorado be warned. Lock up your daughters and your weed.
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Baseball in the Daytime: 9-4-08

Thursday delivers a trio of daytime baseball, and we're pleased to tell you that not a one of the six teams stands a chance of making the playoffs. Okay. Well, the Angels might make it in on a wing, a prayer, and 40 Halos, but nobody's paying attention to west-coast baseball right now. Are they? I mean, aside from the Dodgers, Diamondbacks, and Angels, of course. For the purposes of today, however, the baseballing will take place in middle America, where the humidities of summers have vanished, if only temporarily, into the chills and mists of early September.

Pittsburgh @ Cincinnati, 11:35 (Central): Today's first feature takes us to Great American Ball Park, where the home starter is none other than the 2-7 Josh Fogg. His right arm is slated to battle the left arm of the visiting Tom Gorzelanny and his 6-9 record. These two teams are playing for something not called October baseball, as together they are 48 and-a-half games behind the NL Central leaders. The contest, nevertheless, can be seen on DirecTV 722, and heard on XM 189.

Los Anaheim @ Detroit, 12:05: Our second game takes us to the Motor City, where veteran cockmunch Kenny Rogers dons the home uni for the Tigers, and Ervin Santana gets the nod for the Halos. Rogers hopes to make one more stride towards a .500 season, while Santana seeks win number 15. Catch this one on 723 or 724, DirecTV-style, or listen in on XM's 178.

Oakland @ Kansas City, 4:10: And our final tilt today is part one of a double-header, as yesterday's relentless KC rains continued to fall all through the evening, night, and are actually still falling as I type. Should it let up in time for Dan Meyer and Kyle Davies to take the mound this evening, I'll be surprised, let alone for Dana Eveland and Brian Bannister this afternoon. Either way, both clubs are buried in their respective divisions, Oakland still far from the basement with a nice cushion of Seattle Mariner beneath them.

Those are your day games today, baseball fans. Get out to the park, or tune in for your broadcasts with vigor. Let them players know that no one cares about the Giants or the Redskins.
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Baseball in the Daytime: 8-28-08

About the only way I'd tune in to some daytime baseball today would be the same way I typically watch golf on TV: low volume, stretched on the couch, eyes closed, and nobody home. But that's just me. I'm sure there are some cats out there that are into the teams playing today. I ain't one of them, and I's sorry for you if you is.

Two contests on the menu today, and they'll be served charred, as in beyond well done, with a side of boring, and a twist of nothing.

Red Stockings @ Pin Stripes, 12:05 (Central): Okay. At least the pitching matchup can be called an exciting appetizer. It's Mike Mussina and his 16 wins for the home crowd, and Jon "Lefty" Lester of the 12-5 variety for the visitors. Boston's won three in a row and keeps trying to narrow the gap between themselves and the first-place AL East Bay Rays. The Bombers sit 10 and-a-half back. Ultimately, who cares. Last Sox game at Yankees Stadium? Big deal. Let's wrap this season up today so both clubs can watch the playoffs from home. Now that's a special! Catch it Sox style (722) or Yanks version (723) over on DirecTV. XM carries it on channel 176.

Cincinnati @ Houston, 1:05: Talk about a sleeper. Brandon Backe'll toe the slab for the Astros. His counterpart is also a righty, and goes by the name of Aaron Harang. Backe's 8-12, while Harang is 4-13. These guys are 16, and 25 games out, respectively, in the NL Central. Yikes. DirecTV has this one on 724, while XM calls the shots on 189.

And that's Baseball in the Daytime today, kids. Feel free to watch cartoons. Or scrambled porn. Either one'll be more exciting.
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Baseball In The Daytime: 8-21-08

Today's docket seems hand-selected for the House of Georges. We've got a Royals game for Roy F. Almania and Co., a Cubs contest for Cecil and all the bandwagon poseurs, a Rockies game for residents of the Centennial State and finally a Marlins-Giants game for...um...well, for people who like to bet. All that's missing is a Red Sox-Angels game, but we know how those tend to end up. Best to leave it off.

So gather round, kids, with a glass of lemonade and a transistor radio, and take a nice cool sip of Baseball In The Daytime...

Kansas City @ Cleveland, 10:05 Mountain At what was once known as Jacobs Field (or "The Jake" to hipsters round the bend), the Royals visit the Indians this afternoon. Or this morning, if you tilt westward. Cliff Lee attempts to burnish his Cy Young credentials as he shoots for his 18th win against only two defeats, while Zach Grienke tries to run his win total into double digits.

Cincinnati @ Chicago Cubs, 12:20 At the Friendly Confines, former Cubbie skipper Dusty Baker brings his duffel bag full of toothpicks and his team bus full of Redlegs to play some baseball. My prediction of a Reds' playoff berth looks pretty foolish right now. Go ahead, take your shots. They're nothing like what Cincy starter Josh Fogg will face in this dangerous Cub lineup, while Carlos Zambrano gets the call for the home nine.

Colorado @ LA Dodgers, 1:10 Jorge de la Rosa wears the purple while Derek Lowe sports the blue in this NL Central West showdown at Dodger Stadium. The Rox have been a little feisty this week, taking two in a row from LA to knock the Dodgers out of first. But Arizona is now scoring runs and winning, so it's probably all in vain. The Blake Street Bombers sit eight back of the D'Bags in the division and are still waiting for someone, anyone, to give them some reliable outs on the mound.

Florida @ San Francisco, 1:45 When I saw the pitching slate listed as Johnson/Palmer, I thought "Sweet!" Randy Johnson versus Jim Palmer, Hall of Famer against Hall of Famer, should be a great game. But then I remembered that it's 2008, not 1989. And then I remembered that Jim Palmer retired long before The Unit even finished his amateur career at USC. And then I remembered that this is the Marlins and Josh Johnson, and these are the Giants and Matt Palmer. And then I went back to work. Good luck, gentlemen, and Play Ball!
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Baseball In The Daytime: 6-5-08

Back with a vengeance, this is Baseball In The Daytime. Where we examine the games of the afternoon, when normal people are at work and you and I sneak beer into paper bags.

Today's highlights include the 2008 big-league debut of a once-heralded prospect, the return from crotchital problems of a dude on Banky's fantasy team, and a distinct AL East flavor. The Bombers are in action, the Orioles too, and we conclude the series between the top two teams in the division.

Toronto @ NY Yankees, 11:05 Mountain Dustin McGowan has been one of this season's breakout players, emerging from the back end of the Blue Jays' rotation as one of the AL's better starters. While his record is only 4-4, that's more a result of the Jays' anemic offense. He's really had only one lousy start, a 9-run affair in Cleveland back in May. The month of Way was also unkind to Yankee starter Wang40--he posted an ERA in excess of five and his only two losses of the year. Both try to kick off their Junes in a better way, today at the Stadium.

Cincinnati @ Philadelphia, 11:05 Back in the Show. Baseball's real-life Nook LaLoosh, Homer Bailey, he of the million-dollar arm and ten-cent head, pops up for the Reds today. Once known as the finest pitching prospect in the game, Bailey stumbled through a rough 2007 campaign before falling behind both Edinson Volquez and Johnny Cueto in the organizational pecking order. But it's all about the kids in Cincinnati, what with Jay Bruce mania taking over the city and no one making eye contact with Old Man Griffey. Cole Hamels, a long-haired whiz kid himself, takes the mound for the home team.

Baltimore @ Minnesota, 11:10 At the start of the season, I ran every pitcher in the majors through a series of sophisticated statistical metrics. I wanted to identify undervalued arms for my fantasy draft. My Commodore 64 spit out the usual suspects such as Peavy, Santana and Beckett, but also a handful of hidden gems, like Scott Baker. So I drafted Baker, squeezed a few thoroughly ordinary starts out of him, and all was well.

I hit a bit of a roster crunch in April, though, and needed a sub. I dropped Baker, thinking he was still unknown enough that I could sneak him through waivers and reobtain him later. But then Banky swooped in and grabbed him. Several attempts to trade for him were unsuccessful, and only hardened Bank's resolve. It's as though Scott Baker, he of the 19 career wins and 4.65 lifetime ERA, is the centerpiece of his entire pitching strategery. He's been out a month now with a groin, but returns today to surely lead the Alex Gordon Express to championships aplenty. Garrett Olson gets the nod for the O's.

Tampa @ Boston, 4:05 This oddly-timed afternoon getwaway represents an opportunity for the Sox to sweep and expand their new lead in the East. It's tough running with the big boys, as the upstarts from the Gulf Coast are finding out. Today the Bay-Rays assign mighty James Shields the task of avoiding Boston bats, while Jon Lester gets a similar chore for the white shirts.
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Baseball In The Daytime: 5-7-08

Our first day games of the week tee off this afternoon with two selections from the Senior Circuit and one from the Junior. If I seem a little hung over today, well, it's because I am.

One of the few things my brain has been able to handle this morning was this video, suggested by Mr. Olney. MLB does not allow you to embed its clips into the blogs, but even if they did I doubt I could have pulled it off. Blame the tequila. After the jump, we'll get our hands dirty with some game previews and vomit...

Chicago Cubs @ Cincinnati, 10:35 Mountain Adding intrigue to BITD for exactly two people in the world is a fantasy baseball trade made on Sunday. I acquired Carlos Guillen from my cousin Brian for a package of players that included Reds righty Edinson Volquez. It was tough to part with the kid, but my infield is in shambles. Now, in a cruel gesture fit for Shakespeare, Brian sends Volquez to the mound against me today. Jon Lieber is your Cub starter, if you require these sorts of details.

NY Mets @ LA Dodgers, 1:10 The NL representatives for the nation's two largest media markets wrap up their series today with a getaway contest in Chavez Ravine. John Maine, who was actually born in Virginia, goes against Brad Penny, who makes more than one cent. So what I'm saying is these guys' names are totally misleading. Just wanted to clear that up.

Baltimore @ Oakland, 1:35 I love The Wire, and I love Tupac, so whom shall I pull for in this game? Both the seminal television series and the rap kingpin are dead, but today their legacies are honored by starting pitchers Jeremy Guthrie and Joe Blanton. Two street gangstas if I ever saw 'em. Since I acquired Blanton as a throw-in in the aforementioned Guillen deal, I suppose I'll side with the A's and hope Omar doesn't come after me.

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Baseball In The Daytime: 4-30-07

We're back on the day train today, with a respectable slate of six games on tap barring weather shenanigans. Before we get to the schedule, though, I have a couple of items to go over.

It's Fantasy Baseball Week here at the House, and I'll spend a little time breaking down the season so far, in particular the Ted Williams Frozen Head league that all us HoG farmers participate in. In the past I've given Banky a gentle ribbing in this space over some of his management decisions, and that's made him very, very angry. So Bank gets a pass and I'll instead focus on fellow staffer Cecil. His Fort Meast Blood Badgers are, thus far, the Ted's finest team. In fact, he's playing yours truly this week, and I'll regale you with updates--because there's absolutely nothing more thrilling than hearing about somebody else's fantasy team. I'll also analyze the cellar-dwellers, who've assembled two of the worst clubs I've ever seen.

If you missed the HBO special Bob Costas hosted last night, you should attempt to catch the re-air in the next week or two (I had no luck digging up a YouTube clip). Utterly jaw-dropping. I have to get into it later in the day, because it touches on so many nerves--sports, blogs, talk radio, ESPN, angry old dick journalists, the death of newspapers, privileged athletes, privileged sportswriters, Big Daddy Drew, dudes in their moms' basements typing in their underwear. Stay tuned, and enjoy the day games after the jump...

Chicago White Sox @ Minnesota, 11:10 Mountain These two AL Central rivals renew unpleasantries under the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome today. Nick Blackburn starts for the home team, while the visitors turn to Nick Masset for a spot start, the second of his career. It's hot Nick on Nick action. But it's not Nick at Nite, because it's Baseball In The Daytime.

Pittsburgh @ NY Mets, 11:10 The Florida Marlins have led the NL East for the last few weeks, a mirage all of baseball knew would eventually pass. Today may be the day, as the mighty Mets have pulled to within a half-game of the Fish and face another low-payroll outfit. The Pittsburgh Pirates make one of their last appearances at Shea, led by starting pitcher Tom Gorzelanny. His mound foe? None other than Oliver Perez, the ex-Pirate. Awk-ward.

Cincinnati @ St Louis, 11:15 This game at Busch IV (?) features the afternoon's strongest head-to-head pitching duel, Aaron Harang v. Braden Looper. If you worked in a sandwich shop, however, and either Aaron Harang or Braden Looper called in an order, you'd laugh out loud at those names.

Houston @ Arizona, 1:40 Fuck me, Arizona is good. I did not think their young offense could simultaneously catch fire this year, yet they're leading the world in every hitting stat. I knew their pitching would be good, but not this good. Now they call up this kid Max Scherzer, who looks like an unhittable witch doctor out of the pen. I was wrong, the Diamondbacks are right. Greeley native Shawn Chacon gets the unenviable task of pitching to these freaks today, while Unit does the same to the Astros. I hope the ten-run rule is in effect, it may be needed.

Colorado @ San Francisco, 1:45 Meanwhile, the D'Bags opponent in last year's NLCS is doing a nice job of blowing the entire season before the start of May. Franklin Morales was sent down to Colorado Springs yesterday, while his righthanded compliment Ubaldo Jimenez has one start--today--to save his job in the rotation. Jimenez would most likely already be riding a Triple-A bus if he had any options left, as he's walked virtually every batter he's faced this season. You might think a game against the Giants would be good for what ails ya, but at this point San Fran is a better team than Colorado. Ouch. Dirty Jonathan Sanchez hurls for the Giants.

Atlanta @ Washington, 2:35 No one has seen more of the Nationals' new park than the Braves, who are in the midst of their third trip to DC this month. No one, of course, other than the Nationals themselves. And the contractors that built it. And the pigeons that roost there. Those pigeons will today witness a start by Jair Jurrjens, who came to Atlanta in the Edgar Renteria trade last winter. The Nats go with Shawn Hill, who'll make his second start of the season following a stint on the DL. Keep it clean, boys, and Play Ball! Read more

Baseball In The Daytime: 4-10-08

There's a little less attention on the diamond today, with the opening round of the Masters getting underway. Whether or not you're a golf guy, the Masters is something you notice--it's the one tournament my dad still watches, for instance. I blew it assembling our pool this year, it snuck up on me.

Turning back to MLB, it's Thursday, and that means a handful of getaway games before the weekend series. So take a peek at today's schedule, and maybe you'll find something to occupy your eyeballs until the broadcast from Augusta gets underway at 2:00 Mountain...

Seattle @ Tampa Bay, 10:40 The leadoff contest today is an early tilt at the Trop in Tampa. Even with all of their bullpen foibles, the Mariners stand on the precipice of sweeping the Bay-Rays. Starting assignments go to Miguel Batista, who's horrible but is an accomplished writer and once gave my wife an autograph, and Edwin Jackson, who's just horrible.

Cincinnati @ Milwaukee, 11:05 With every passing day, the Reds bandwagon swells with membership. They hammered the Brew Crew 12-4 yesterday, and they stand to win the series behind ace Aaron Harang today. Carlos Villanueva is your Brewers' starter.

Atlanta @ Colorado, 1:05 The slumbering lumber finally awoke at Coors last night. The Rox plated a dozen runs against the Braves, this after scoring the same amount through the first week of the season. Holliday is finally heating up, and the timely hits with runners on are showing up. Tim Hudson is charged with slowing down the onslaught today, while Jeff Francis tries to turn in his first non-dismal start of the year.

Baltimore @ Texas, 3:05 Yesterday's rainout necessitates today's doubleheader, with Game One dropping the puck under the Lone Star sunshine (or perhaps more rain). The Orioles, yes the Orioles, are the hottest team in the whole damn sport and have yet to lose a game in the month of April. This is better than going undefeated in, say, January, because these games count! Bud Selig, feel free to use that line in pimping the mighty Baltimore Orioles. Steve Trachsel starts today against Kevin Millwood, making this pretty much the most unwatchable pile of crap game ever imagined, but remember--the Orioles are on fire!

So whether you're driving the fairway at Augusta or facing a 79-mph Trachsel heater, keep your head down, and Play Ball!
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Baseball In The Daytime: 4-7-08 (w/ Bonus Redlegged Action!)

If you're a true American patriot, then the last week has been a thrill. That's because baseball, and specifically baseball in the daytime, has graced our nation once again with its slow, sweet melody. I understand that some of us care about the NBA stretch run, or the hockey playoffs, or the Pennsylvania Primary, or a certain game that will take place--boom boom boom boom--deep in the heart of Texas tonight. I'll take the following ballgames played under God's own heat lamp.

After the jump you'll find today's schedule, accompanied by a past-due breakdown of the Cincinnati Reds...

Philadelphia @ Cincinnati, 10:35 Mountain The most compelling game of the day is our leadoff batter, as the ace of the Phillies (Cole Hamels) takes on the dreamiest hippie on the Reds' staff (Bronson Arroyo). The Phils are looking for a split of the four-game reacharound set in this one at Great American.

Chicago Cubs @ Pittsburgh, 11:35 Ted Lilly, whose normal quest is to stop a Cub losing streak of some length, inherits a little positive "mo" today instead. That's because Big Z mowed down the 'Stros yesterday. Chicago's road trip starts in Pittsburgh with a daytime date against Tom Gorzelanny.

Seattle @ Baltimore, 1:05 Another reacharound concludes at Camden Yards as Carlos Silva and Daniel Cabrera trade fastballs. Expect a crowd in the dozens, as Baltimore has descended into Marlins territory when it comes to home attendance.

Minnesota @ Chicago White Sox, 2:05 Fresh off a convincing sweep of the hapless Tigers, the White Sox head back to the South Side for their home opener against the Twins. Nick Blackburn gets the call from the visitors, while Javier Vazquez is Chicago's nominee.

San Diego @ San Francisco, 2:35 Greg Maddux goes for his 348th career win in a matchup with hard-luck Matt Cain. We'll see if Maddux can manage to keep his digits free of debris, unlike his fellow Friar righty.

For the record, I think Peavy and Bochy are both full of it. They got popped. Jake Peavy made $5 million last year in winning the pitching Triple Crown and the Cy Young. He's one of the best in the business at what he does, and his fingers are the tools of his trade. You're telling me that they became smeared with that much shit and he didn't notice? Come on...

On a happier note, it appears that baseball's next fuzzy, happy story is shaping up in Cincinnati. The Redlegs generated a lot of buzz with a bevy of promising prospects and a nice showing in spring training. They've now transferred that to the regular season with a 4-2 mark through the first week. But what's got everybody talkin' Reds baseball are the pair of infant firballers they unveiled last week.

Johnny Cueto, in his major league debut on Thursday, took a perfect game into the sixth and struck out ten. Edinson Volquez followed that yesterday with eight strikeouts over five and a third. Should either or both continue this dominance, the Reds will be able to send quality pitchers against every opponent (Arroyo and Aaron Harang are the front end of the rotation), something few if any NL clubs can boast.

Now that's a big if, as is the manager. Dusty Baker is quite an enigma. he was able to win in San Francisco for a while, until the talent level of that team dipped. He then took his toothpick-chewing show to Wrigley, where he pushed the Cubs to within five outs of the Series. But Baker wore out his welcome there too. He's unable to deal with young players and he absolutely kills pitchers who can't handle a big workload. But for a few years he somehow wins games, and in Cincy he may just have a squad that can capitalize on a weak division.

But as for the lineup, let's look at the Reds one through nine:

1. Corey Patterson CF
2. Jeff Keppinger SS
3. Ken Griffey Jr. RF
4. Brandon Phillips 2B
5. Adam Dunn LF
6. Edwin Encarnacion 3B
7. A first baseman
8. A catcher
9. A pitcher

Dusty's decision to send megaprospect Jay Bruce down and give the centerfield/leadoff job to Patterson was the first salvo in his crackpot war against logic. The Lizard is as anti-Moneyball as they come, and his adventure with CP is being ably chronicled by Walk-Off Walk (other WOW highlights: this Post headline, as well as a feature whose title seems oddly familiar).

Now Keppinger's a guy I'd never heard of, but he seems competent on the field and has already delivered a couple of jacks. Griffey's bound to go down, of course, but if/when that happens Dusty can always summon Bruce (or sign Neifi Perez). Phillips, while ill-suited to cleanup (he ought to bat in a top-3 slot) is a stud, and Dunn provides copious power, walks and strikeouts. Encarnacion drilled a dramatic game-winner last week, and he may develop the consistency to be an All-Star someday.

Now the first-base platoon is more classic Dusty. Scott Hatteberg (ironically, a central character in Moneyball) is the steady vet that Dusty always prefers. Joey Votto is the freakishly talented youngster he despises. They both bat left-handed, but thus far they've essentially split time. I have no doubt that Votto will eventually supplant Hatteberg, but for now they'll share the gig.
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Fatlock Follies: Rollin' Solo; Playin' An Interesting Form of the Race Card

Eris Banks, of Conyers, Ga., the guy pictured here on the left felt, for perhaps constitional-rights reasons, it necessary to display his clever, non-hilarious poster at yesterday's Atlanta Braves home game. The story is not that the Braves outhit the hapless Reds 10-18, or that they let the Reds take a two-run lead in the top of the 15th inning. Nor is the story about the run the Braves produced in the bottom of the 15th, or that they ultimately lost 5-4. Exciting game, huh? No. The story is that Banks, along with who knows how many other Atlanta locals intend on supporting Mike "Dawg Killa'" Vick and his entourage.



I'm aware of this photograph because it appears next to today's column by The Kansas City Star columnist Jason Whitlock. Whitlock, as I've said in other posts about the sports writer, has an interesting take on race, arguably our nation's biggest issue. Whitlock continues to suggest that the forlorn behavior of numerous contemporary African-American athletes has large ties to, and is inseparable from, the hip-hop/prison culture so often associated with black lifestyles.

Allow me to elaborate. The hip-hop side involves lyrics and images in rap and hip-hip music wherein "characters" continuously sell drugs, tote firearms, and act misogynistic. The prison side has something to do with the inexplicable misconception that doing time is cool simply because so many African-American males are, at one time or another, incarcerated; it's a shared experience, a bonding of sorts. The most obvious thing to transcend prison life onto American streets would be the oversized tees and baggy pants, a style that expresses the generic, non-fitting prison shirt and the lack of belt privileges in the can, thus the falling-down drawers and the massively oversized tops that, one would think, should cover up the backside of one's boxer shorts.

Nevertheless, Whitlock, regardless of his years spent being the first to play the race card in almost every race-related, sports-affiliated issue, has abandoned that camp and erected a shelter in which he, for the time being anyway, stands alone. Though I badger him on the InterWebs and annoy him with e-mails he won't answer, I hold a tremendous amount of respect for him for this endeavor. I can't say if it's self-promotion or genuine; I'd like to think the latter is true. I will say, that if it is in fact genuine, he'd better recruit some folks to take up arms with him. That's because, thus far, in the Michael Vick debacle, everyone else seems to already be playing that damnable race card.

Cecil's boy Colin Cowherd received a slew of e-mails on "The Herd" yesterday on ESPN radio, several of which he read over the air. One was from a listener named Jamie in Albany, NY that claimed the only reason the feds indicted Vick is because he's black. Several callers to "The DA Show" (KCSP/610 AM) here in Kansas City this morning offered similar musings. Luckily, both hosts put their respective audience members in their places.

I never thought I'd say this before, but it's time to wake up, people. Listen to -- you don't have to agree -- what Whitlock is saying

Banks is right. Vick is innocent. Right now. He's also entitled to a fair trial, just like any other man or woman. The National Football League and the Atlanta Falcons are doing the right thing by not offering statements or handing down discipline until the legal system has evaluated the situation. Things don't look promising for Young No. 7, though. If you have a large piece of property from which canine corpses are exhumed, operate a business called "Bad Newz Kennels" from that property, lie about the frequency of your presence on that property, and have documents circulating the Internets about how said corpses were executed (allegations of electrocution, drowning, hanging, beating), I hope for your sake you saved some of that signing bonus to hire intelligent legal representation, 'cause you in troubs, homes. You in troubs.

And don't get me wrong. If Vick was white, I'd say, "That's quite a pickle you've gotten yourself into, Lester. Quite a pickle."



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