Midseason Report: AL West

It's time now for the American League West version of our mid-season baseball reports. It's been a few days coming, and I was beginning to wonder if finding an AL West fan was going to become like finding a Chargers fan. Good gravy. We were lucky enough to get in touch with Brett Brecheisen, who runs the aptly named Brett Brecheisen's Blog.

Anyway, we're a few days beyond the resumption of big-league play, and it's time to have a look at the first half of AL West baseball, after the jump.


Bankmeister: Tell us, if you will, a bit of your history with baseball. This page of your blog tells us that you're a senior at Florida State, that you grew up in Florida, but that you were born in Kansas City. Tell us a bit more about your baseball self. Did you grow up around the game? Play it at any level? Favorite team(s)? Play any fantasy?

Brett Brecheisen: My family was born and raised in Kansas City so I was born in Olathe and my family moved to south Florida when I was just a year old. Being a lifelong Royals fan, my Dad brought me up on the game from an early age. When the Marlins arrived in the area in 1993 I quickly adopted them as my own team. My parents slowly shifted gears as well although I still think if the Royals were ever as good in the future as they were in the 1970s and 80s they would be thrilled. I consider Kansas City my second favorite team.

I played organized baseball every year from the age of four until I graduated high school. I was more of a scrappy player since I felt like I understood the game at a high level but wasn't blessed with size, strength or speed.

I've since grown into broadcasting to stay in the game at the college level. I called games on ACC Select (a webcasting service) for the Florida State baseball team during their run to the 2008 College World Series. I was also behind the mic for 44 games in the summer of 2008 for the Orleans Cardinals (now the Firebirds) of the Cape Cod Baseball League.



My fantasy experience is more for fun than anything else. I've been playing for roughly seven or eight years and get pretty competitive with it but only play seriously in two leagues -- both of the keeper variety -- with friends. It's definitely a popular topic of conversation between my buddies and I.

B: Excellent. Now to your Midseason report.

You started at the top of the standings and worked your way down, so I'll jump in in the middle, beginning with the Seattle Mariners. Honestly, after last season, I expected this club to be hurting for, at bare minimum, at least another season. They have been, however, quite the pleasant surprise. You mentioned Ichiro Suzuki, who continues to impress, and equally so in the All-Star Game, by in terms of getting there and performance within the contest. I still hang some crap on him for having his first name on the back of his jersey, but whatever. I would agree with you that Russell Branyan has been a great surprise. In fact, I noticed his season picking up and I nabbed him from the free-agency pickins in our fantasy league.

Now, in this league, there is an owner that is so completely obsessed with the game that he psychologically bullied me into thinking I should drop him. Stupidly, I did. But as you pointed out, career numbers for the "bum," as he was called. One really has to respect a veteran like that guy going to a team like Seattle was in 2008, and producing like he has. As far as pitching, you mention Jarrod Washburn being the big surprise, but I might argue that Erik Bedard has been an even bigger surprise. Yes. He's had a good campaign or two in the past, but last year was a rough one for him. This year, he's sporting a 2.70, and a 30:84 BB:K ratio. If this club is moving in the right direction, what can they expect from Bedard in the next 2-3, 4 seasons, given that he turned 30 this year? Washburn, for that matter, will be 35 next month. The numbers these guys have put up through half of the season, especially considering that they're both lefties, would suggest that you want to keep them around assuming they hold up.



Double B: You bring up a good point on Bedard. I didn't consider him as big of a surprise as Washburn simply because he had shown great flashes in the past. But you're right, he has definitely rebounded from an injury-riddled 2008 and has been a crucial component to this team turning it around in 2009.

I think that Bedard has the makeup of an excellent pitcher. He has great stuff and definitely goes after hitters. The knock on him has been some inconsistency and lack of control. However, Bedard saw his BB/IP ratio decrease in 2006 and 2007 when he started to really come into his own as a dominant pitcher. Obviously his torn labrum in 2008 set him back but he has rebounded and appeared to have the same life and movement on his pitches that he did prior to the injury. I think he'll continue to improve his command and -- if he can stay healthy -- will become a consistent Top 10 pitcher in the American League.

B: That's a big "if." And hey -- if Texas and Los Anaheim keep them out of the mix this year, will they be geared to make a run at the West in 2010?

Double B: It's always difficult for me to predict what will happen more than a year out simply because you don't know what kind of off-season moves a team will make. In terms of young talent, the Jeff Clement experiment has not gone as expected so far. They are still pretty old in terms of position players as Russell Branyan, Kenji Johjima, Ichiro Suzuki and Ken Griffey, Jr. aren't getting younger.

However their biggest problem is going to be their expiring contracts. I believe their big three arms of Felix Hernandez, Jarrod Washburn and Erik Bedard will all be getting new deals. I doubt the Mariners pony up the money for all three so this team could definitely look a lot different on Opening Day 2010 than it does now.

B: True. And if they know what they're doing, one of those differences will be a different catcher, as Johjima just plain sucks. Speaking of suck, how about those Rangers? They held off the Angels for mostly three whole months, which, for a team that has decent-but-inconsistent pitching, and, as you mentioned, power, but can't hit for average, is noteworthy. Strictly looking at division standings, however, how much of Texas' success in the first half can be attributed to L.A.'s rash of injuries? Will the Rangers be in the conversation come September?

Double B: I think it's fair to say that they will be in the conversation. I just don't think they'll end up making the playoffs. With all the injuries the Angels have had, keep in mind the biggest name that's been missing during much of this division race belongs to the Rangers and that is Josh Hamilton. He says he's healthy and he hasn't been awful but he also has yet to be the Josh Hamilton of 2008.

If he returns to full strength and has the second half he's capable of having I fully expect Texas to be in the hunt in September. I just think the Angels have too much firepower in the lineup and depth on their pitching staff to not win the division.

B: How about their rotation? You mention that they've been successful keeping other teams off of the scoreboard. While not terribly far down it, they are in the bottom half of earned runs. As far as runs scored, they're smack dab in the middle. Could it be that they simply hit for enough power to make their pitching staff look a shade better than they are? Will Vicente Padilla be kept around? Can you name, without looking, three uglier players in the bigs than Padilla?

Double B: I think their pitching staff has over-achieved thus far. I didn't expect guys like Kevin Millwood and Scott Feldman to have the types of seasons they are having, particularly in a hitter's ballpark like the one they play in. I don't think they will be as good in the second half but I can't really pin-point a reason to say that they'll decline other than I just think that over 162 games the law of averages prevails and the guys with the most talent have the better seasons.

I've never been a big Padilla guy. He's serviceable and definitely is talented enough to have a spot in a big league rotation but he hasn't had a season with an ERA under 4.50 since 2003. And without looking... three players uglier than Padilla would be Matt Stairs, Julian Tavarez, and Bartolo Colon.

B: Hmm. Well, I find Matt Stairs handsome. Handsome in that Canadian kind of way, but since I mentioned ugly, let's talk Oakland. Now, everyone knows that their football club has a roster full of clubbed-foot, octogenarian beaters, and that their fan base thinks a tailgate party is a contest to see how many pedestrians they can back into at the Coliseum. But isn't their baseball team supposed to be a bit more respectable than they've shown us through three months? What, in your estimation, has become of the once-heralded birthplace of small ball?

Double B: I think the biggest problem is that small-market teams like the Athletics just have such a small margin for error. They have to be perfect with almost every trade because they can't go out and buy a free agent to fill a hole. Unfortunately, sometimes you just miss on guys regardless of how good of a talent evaluator you and your staff are. The Matt Holliday trade hasn't worked out so far, their young pitchers have taken a little longer than expected to develop, and the Jason Giambi experiment has failed.

B: Offensively, they are darn bad. You mention Jason Giambi batting near the Mendoza Line. Frankly, most of their team appears to be. Adam Kennedy, their second baseman, is the only one toying with hitting .300, and that's a dude that was playing in the National League for the last two seasons. Your comment regarding the promise of their young pitching is an interesting one. If we assume this club has a 2009 fork in it, what must they do to get back on track?

Double B: I do like their young core of pitchers and think they have a chance to greatly improve next year if they can find a bat or two to contribute. However, there aren't many position players who will be big-league ready by 2010 and the A's don't spend much in free agency so it will be interesting to see how creative they get trying to improve that lineup.

B: Finally, the Angels. These guys are, as you said, are a solid all-around team, and the likely favorite to take this division, and they could make a run at the pennant as well. Since there's little to examine with this team, what was your opinion on the K-Rod ship-out and the Brian Fuentes acquistion?



If you're the Colorado Rockies, how do you let go of a guy like Fuentes that, over seven years, averaged 20+ saves a season and converted 84 percent of your club's save opportunities?

Double B: I'm not a big fan of relievers who don't throw strikes and K-Rod has definitely had some instances where he can't throw a strike when he has to. I'll admit, prior to the season starting I thought Jose Arredondo would end up with this job by the All-Star break. I underestimated Fuentes and he has been excellent. He's definitely a reason this team is in first place right now.

B: I haven't looked at contract numbers for either guy, but L.A. looks pretty smart for having done so. Is it plausible that this club is the best-structured in baseball, getting the most for their payroll dollars and having all -- speed, average, power, defense, starting-and-relief pitching -- of the desired attributes?

Double B: I would have to say so. I mean they are good year in and year out and they aren't even the primary team in their own market. I love the style of ball they play. They always seem to spend their dollars wisely. And ESPN.com recently named them the ultimate franchise for sports fans. They've had a great run and seem to show no signs of slowing down. Maybe they'll add another World Series trophy to the mantle this year.

B: Since we have your attention, what are your predictions for division winners around the league? The ALCS and NLCS? How about a Series prediction?

Double B: Ah, trying to catch me with some predictions so I can look stupid after the season ends, are we? I'm kidding of course and am not a big predictions guy just because I believe injuries play such pivotal roles (even more so in football) and they are impossible to predict and you never know who is hot heading into October as we saw Colorado do in 2007. But knowing what we do now, my predictions are as follows:

NL East - Philadelphia
NL Central - Chicago Cubs
NL West - Los Angeles Dodgers
NL Wild Card - St. Louis

AL East - Boston
AL Central - Minnesota
AL West - Los Angeles Angels
AL Wild Card - New York Yankees

NLCS: Los Angeles Dodgers over Philadelphia
ALCS: Los Angeles Angels over Minnesota

World Series: Angels over Dodgers

B: Wow. An all-L.A. Series? Man. I would really hate that. Nevertheless, Brett, thanks so much for joining us. We hope to catch up again sometime soon.
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Midseason Report: NL West

Pour me some DeKuyper, folks. It's All-Star Break time, and that can only mean one thing. Actually, it could mean 100 different things, but who's counting. The one thing that's certain is that this feature will not drag into September this year. You can take that to the bank. Unless it's Sunday. And then you can't, 'cause it's closed, and this feature might run into September.

Anyway, we're kicking things off with some National League West action, and we had to settle for Dodger fan Johnny Utah once more because Humberto was busy stabbing white devils somewhere in the parking lot of the confines. Seriously, though, we're stoked to have Johnny back on bored, and you can peep our interview, just past the jump.

Bankmeister: So, Johnny. The National League West has been a bit of a surprise for a number of reasons through one half of 2009. But before we get to the juicy stuff, let's start with the crusty bottom of the bun known as the San Diego Padres. I didn't imagine that they would fare too well this season, but they've really outdone themselves cruising into All-Star week. As of today, they're 14 games under.500 and a solid 18 games back of your division-leading Dodgers. What's the problem with this team? Is it pitching? Hitting? Defense? A combination of the three? Do you know anything about their front office? Tell us, when you're done jerking it to your Steve Garvey Padre Fathead, what you know about baseball in the Whale's Vagina.



Johnny Utah: Thanks, Mister. And for the record, I use the Jergens to the sweet cookie duster of one Davy Lopes. The biggest problem with the Padres are those God-awful camouflage unis they wear on occasion. Come on, have some respect. Go back to the gold and shit brown.

Sorry, I'll get serious here. First what's good about this pathetic team. Adrian Gonzalez is putting up solid power numbers. He hasn't had spent any significant time on the DL in his young career, which makes him decent trade bait. Heath Bell is a stud, and will be a formidible closer for the next several years.

Now the bad. Davey Boy Eckstein is leading the team in hitting with a paltry .267. Suffice it to say, you don't hit, you don't score runs, you don't win. Whatta concept.

With a team ERA of 4.64, they prove they are incapable of keeping runs off the scoreboard. Even one time stud, and staff "ace" Jake Peavey is struggling with an ERA around the 4ish region....Don't know much about the front office in the Whale's Vajay-jay as you affectionately refer to it. But, they need to get their shit together before they become the Pirates of the NL West. Just brutal.

B: Yeah. Heath Bell and Adrian Gonzalez is about all I could tell you about this team myself. To say that your club is last in the league in runs, hits, team average, and RsBI is not bragging rights in my book. Surprisingly, they're only 10th in home runs (they have 76, compared to the last-place Mets), which is great, but they might want to try and get a guy or two on base before going deep. As far as pitching, having a hurt Peavy isn't doing them any favors, especially considering that their entire rotation (right now) is just plain awful. A 5-7 Kevin Correia, a 1-3 Josh Geer, a 4-7 Chad Gaudin, and a 1-0 Josh Banks won't win you many games in AAA, let alone the bigs.

This team doesn't appear to have any decent hitting or pitching in their system right now. Are they drafting poorly? An organization in need of change? If memory serves, they haven't been good for some time.

JU: Not true. They won the west in '06 and I'm pretty sure they won 90 games in '07. So this is a team that has just gone down hill quickly. Good assessment of the farm system. They don't have anybody on the triple A Portland Beavers hitting over .280. Also, the single A affiliate plays in Ft. Wayne Indiana. Easily the armpit of America.

The way I see it, this team and entire organization needs a serious overhaul. They lack leadership and personality. It's tough to say they haven't drafted well. In my opinion baseball is the toughest sport to assess talent at the high school or college level.

B: No, I know. They were in that one-game playoff with the Rockies in October 2007 as well, but they had that good year and 2006. Between those campaigns and their heydays of the early 80s, though, I only remember spotted success.

How about Arizona, though? Did you expect them to be almost identically as bad as San Diego at the halfway point? They're allowing fewer funs than the Pads and even scoring more, but they, as of today, have one more win than the Whale, and only a half-game lead on them.

JU: No, I'm surprised the D-Bags are playing so poorly. I really thought they would be at least contending for the West. They have always been one of those teams that seem to find a way to win. Very weak bullpen...

B: Fair enough. Let's talk Colorado Rockies. What do you make of their atrocious start, and impeccable turnaround? How much of it do you attribute to the Clint Hurdle/Jim Tracy firing/hiring?

JU: I was very surprised by the poor start. Let's face it, they have a preetty decent line up that can score 6 runs a game. Especially in the little league park known as Coors Field. Which, by the way, is my favorite stadium to enjoy a game.



You pretty much have to assume that the turnaround is attributed to the exit of Hurdle. Clint had over welcomed has stay. Had they not made that run at the end of '07, he would have been on the unemployment line. Jim Tracy was a great hire/promotion from bench coach. He had early success with the bums in the early to mid 2000s, and knows what it takes to win in the wild and wacky West.

B: I understand that the firing/hiring has given this team a spark, perhaps even the motivation they needed to start playing the baseball they're capable of. I also understand that this roster already had a decent number of guys that can hit for power, but how do you explain the pitching? This rotation looked absolutely fucking hideous at the start of the season, and I don't mean to imply that they're all rolling along at Cy Young pace, but they've done something right. Just look at their numbers through the first half:

Aaron Cook: 8-3, 3.98, 55-34 (SO-BB) through 108 innings
Ubaldo Jimenez: 6-9, 3.81, 101-46 through 115
Jason Marquis: 11-6, 3.65, 58-40 through 123
Jason Hammel: 5-4, 4.43, 61-21 through 89
Jorge de la Rosa: 6-7, 5.21, 99-46 through 96

Is that not impressive? Three guys over .500, three guys with under-four E.R.A.s, all five with respectable ratios and a team average of 106 innings per starter? Plus an All-Star appearance. And they play in a hitter's park, right? Please, explain this to me, Johnny.

JU: Yes, it is impressive. Jason Marquis has been the real surprise. His career was seemingly finished after a few mediocre years with the Cubs and Cards. Apparently he changed his delivery over the off season making his sinker much more effective. Obviously this has paid off with 11 wins and an All-Star appearance. Again, the bullpen is killing this team with several inflated ERAs. Middle relief has not fared well. Closer Huston Street has been solid with 22 saves. So, it seems they lose steam in the 6-8th innings.

B: While the San Francisco Giants are still seven games back of Los Angeles, they've also managed to win 10 more than they've lost. What's been the secret to their success? Offensively, they're not running away with any statistics. In fact, they're far down in the bottom hafl in many categories. They don't score a ton, they certainly don't hit for much power, and they don't exhibit blinding basepath speed. So, it's pitching, then, right? They have a National League best 3.51 E.R.A., they more than double everyone else in the league with 13 shutouts, and the same can be said with (eight) complete games. Defensively, they appear to be right around the middle of the pack. So, has average hitting and fielding, along with superior pitching been the Giant recipe? Does any of it have to do with a couple of exhausted clubs in the division? How long can San Francisco make a push with these efforts?

JU: The Giants as you said are relying mainly on pitching. Lincecum is putting up retarded numbers. It looks like he is pitching out of his socks with every delivery. I really like this kid's style. Matt Cain has put up equally as impressive numbers, although he is allowing a freakishly high amount of HRs compared to his ERA (11 HRs/2.38 ERA). The Big Unit hasn't had a great year, but respectable 45-year-old giant (pun intended).



Indeed their success can be somewhat attributed to a weak division. But mainly it is the quality of the starters. You don't have to score much to pick up wins when you have a few quality starters. The occasional no-hitter by a virtual unknown doesn't hurt. As long as they stay healthy, the Giants will ruffle some feathers and vie for the wild card.

B: Okay. Well, I think there's a team you've perhaps been looking forward to discussing: your Los Angeles Dodgers of Californaheim. Generally speaking, this team, assuming the second half of the season plays out similarly to the first, looks borderline frightening, which is unfortunate in that I predicted them to come in second in the division. That, of course, was only because they didn't have Seth fucking Smith on their team. but anyway, last year was tooth and nail down the stretch for them and the Diamondbacks. This year, Manny or no Manny, they've really taken care of business. Will it last? To what do you attribute their success, even during Manny's 50-game absence?

One of the most interesting things to me about this team -- again, going back to last year -- was that it appeared that pitching might handcuff them in the end, and one could make the argument that it did in October. What's their X-factor this year? Why have they been so tough? Are they that good? Is it a weak division?

Also, do you think this club would fare equally well in the American League? And, did you agree with Manny's being able to rehab in the minors?

JU: Why yes, I have been looking forward to talking about the boys in Blue! The success of this team is no fluke, and will last the remainder of the season. Hell, if they play .500 ball the rest of the way they would be around 90 wins. I think that is good enough to win the West. But, I also don't see them letting up anytime soon.

Their success is a combination of several things. Joe Torre is the perfect guy to keep Manny from, well, being Manny. Don Mattingly is the hitting coach, has taught the younger guys (Kemp, Loney, Ethier) patience at the plate. That was something that cost them down the stretch last year.

The biggest reason for their success is solid defense. They are second in the NL in fielding percentage. Not many errors with this bunch. I do think they are that good and the best record in baseball seems to prove it. It's tough to say if they would be that great in the AL. They historically have a bad record in interleague play (9-9 this year) But, Im sure that Mr. Torre would find a way to get these guys playing Big Ball if they did play in the AL.

The whole Manny deal? I'm torn. In a way I don't think he should have been able to rehab in the minors. A suspension is just that. Of course I'm glad he was able to dust off the spider webs and get his JuJu back. And yes, he was on maternity leave.



(video courtesy of the Global Sports Fraternity)

B: Fantastic. Care to make any division-winner predictions? Playoff scenarios? Who takes it all? I know you got it in you.

JU: Naturally. All righty, last year I predicted Philly over the White Sox in the series, so I was half right. I'm gonna say division winners: Tigers, Red Sox, Rangers, Phils, Brewers, Dodgers. Wild cards: Angels and Cards. ALCS: Sox over Angels, NLCS: Dodgers over Phillies. Yes, boys and girls we finally get a Mannywood return to Boston. In the end, the boys in Blue hoist the hardware.

B: Thanks for visiting with us again, Johnny. We look forward to talking some football with you in about two and-a-half months when the Chiefs prepare to visit Philadelphia, and come out with a win.
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Your 2009 Mid-Season Hockey Report: Western Conference, Pacific Division

I'm sure that most of our readers had no idea that February 2009 has been "Hockey is for Everyone" month here in these great United States. I mean, I didn't promote it. But at least there's a bit on it on NHL.com, which I'm sure just gets flooded with House of Georges readers every day of the year. Oh, well. This little series has been my part, and today we'll wrap it up with a look at the Pacific Division. If you're into it, the Northwest is here, and the Central is here. If you're an east-conference gay guy, you can peruse the Atlantic here, the Southeast here, and the Northeast here.

If you're neither, well I'm sure you're stoked this feature's coming to a close.

Even though the Red Wings are the defending Cup champs, and they took it to the Sharks 4-1 last night, San Jose is still a rough customer in the west. Even with last night's loss, they're still the one seed in the west. For now. Their league-leading 91 points has come largely from eight skaters who have 35+ points. Of those eight, Joe Thornton and Patrick Marleau are in the 60s. San Jose has gotten strong and consistent performance from its defense all year, and the play of the goalies has been sick: Backup Brian Boucher is 9-1 with a .932 save percentage, while main man Evgeni Nabokov has posted a stunning 32-8 record, five of which have been shutouts. My money's still on a Sharks-Bruins showdown late in the post-season.

In second are the Dallas Stars, who, at 65 points, are actually tied with the Anaheim Ducks for second, but whatever. Dallas, who showed much poise down the stretch last year, finds themselves in a multi-way tie for the eighth seed, and must find a way to get more production from their lines if they aim to squeak in. They've gotten some from three of their four centers, and left-winger Loui Eriksson leads the club with 27 goals, but the pickins are slim for the Stars beyond that. Despite the lack of depth on their roster, their defense has managed to play decent hockey, but not well enough to make Marty Turco better than 28-21. Turco has faced over 1500 shots already, and you know a hefty portion of those'll get by if your D's only playing decent.

The Ducks, on the other end of that tie, have gotten a more spread-out production from their lines than the Stars have, an element that contributed largely to their championship season two years ago. With 20 goals and 49 assists, Ryan Getzlaf leads a decent pack of point producers, but the overall defense being played by this club isn't strong enough to bring the necessary balanace to a team that is perhaps under-developed at this stage. The reload they put together after winning involved a decent crop of youth, but it'll take some time for them to blossom, especially when Jean-Sebastien Giguere is only getting enough protection in the crease to post a 16-15 record, with a 3.09 goals-against average.

Next notch down are the Kings of Los Angeles, who, frankly, have just been borderline awful since Andy Murray left town. Like most clubs, they've got a couple of forwards that do most of their scoring, and a crew of defensive pairings that hand out assists and spend time in the penalty box, but this club is far from complete. I look at this club, and I just think porous. Perhaps they can pull some trade-deadline shenanigans and get one more veteran in here to work with this seeemingly inexperienced club. Jonathan Quick has gotten most of the nods in net this season, but like his King counterparts, he's really just been average.

Average, however, doesn't look so bad, if you're a member of the Phoenix Coyotes. No, you're not quite as bad as the Colorado Avalanche, but that could change any given evening. This situation is nothing shy of a giant embarrassment. In all reality, the Avs won't take that long to retool; they'll get strong again, and be a contender in the west. Phoenix, however, looks to be awful forever. Truthfully, I've wondered about the Wayne Gretzky hire since day one. I mean, I think it's great that he's involved in the league, and taken a young, small-market franchise under his wing, but the bottom line is that no one ever said the Great One could coach. And it looks more every year like he can't.

You know, I heard something about coaches the other day. Coaches that had been players. And the thing said, even if it was splattered with cliches like "he's a grinder," etc., made a ton of sense. The most talented guy in a game is probably going to make for a lousy coach. Why? Because he had more talent for his game in his pinky fingernail than a trailer full of good people ever will. The average athlete perhaps brings a work ethic similar to the greats, but they've gotta have an edge to make the competition fair, right? Grit. Determination. Bowls of rusty nails for breakfast. All that crap. That's probably why the Phoenix Coyotes are always going to be lousy with Gretzky as their bench boss. These seasons keep passing, and he keeps staying in there, while, in other towns, dudes are getting fired after four games.

I don't get it. Shane Doan and Olli Jokinen are leading this team in points. Shane Doan and Olli Jokinen. The defense is rotten. The goaltending's on par with everything else. I just don't see how it pans out. The right thing to do would be for Wayne to step down this spring. Nobody wants to fire the greatest hockey player in history. He should recognize that and make way.

There you go, hockey fan. Glad you could be with us, and we'll see you in the post-season.
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Your 2009 Mid-Season Hockey Report: Western Conference, Northwest Division

After a bit of a delay, we're back to wrap up our not-so-mid-season mid-season hockey look, and today's focus is none other than the Northwest Division, where Canadian and expansion/relocation teams often times grapple and knock one another out in dubious fashion. If you're just joining us, we last looked at the Central, and before that, we ran the course of the Eastern Conference, examining the Southeast, Northeast, and Atlantic divisions as well.

In first place are the Calgary Flames. They've accumulated 78 points to date, and have done via the helping sticks of Jarome Iginla, Mike Cammalleri, Rene Borque, and the oft-scrutinized Todd Bertuzzi. Each of these cats has contributed significantly in to the offensive point totals running from Borque's 21 goals and 19 helpers to the captain Iginla's 66 points. Dion Phaenuff and Adrian Aucoin have tallied their share of points as well, and done so from their defensive positions. In all, the Calgary defensive pairings have held their ground, albeit in a relatively weak division. The 10-point edge they hold, however, comes with many thanks to netminder Mikka Kiprusoff, who has played lights out between the pipes, going 36-15 to this point in the campaign. He's let over 150 pucks past him, but still holds a .902 save percentage and, as his record suggests, has seen more action than most of his league counterpoints.

That point differential between first and second in the Northwest leaves the Vancouver Canucks looking up at the Flames. If the season ended today, they'd be the five seed, and perhaps the most amazing story out of British Columbia is that Vancouver still employs both of the Sedin twins. And rightfully so; Henrik and Daniel lead their clubs in productivity, with 57 and 59 points respectively. Mixing the roster with a blend of youth and journeymen like Mats Sundin and Pavol Demitra, the Canucks are playing some of the most well-rounded stick and puck in the west. Their defense yields one of the best +/- differentials in the conference, and this has been a big boost for Roberto Luongo, who's gotten most of the nods in net. He currently sits at 19-8, and having faced nearly 1000 shots.

In third place are the Minnesota Wild. They're not too far behind the Canucks in the division rankings, and only one point behind the Blue Jackets in conference. Minnesota has never put out much in they way of offensive juggernauts, but Mikko Koivu leads the club with an impressive 55 points. Their defense is rather middle-of-the-road, but they still manage to get noteworthy production from most everyone on the squad. In goal, the often-average Niklas Backstrom has had an up year, posting 28 wins and a .926 save percentage through 45 contests.

Tied with Minnesota are the Edmonton Oilers. They've managed to stay scrappy all season, and done so with considerable output from several defensemen. Sheldon Souray leads the protective pack with 40 points, while Tom Gilbert and Lubomir Visnovsky are right behind with 34 and 31, respectively. The Oilers' success thus far comes via an approach not usually observed in Alberta. Most seasons, Edmonton's roster is full of veterans, while they've fielded a considerably younger roster this go-'round. In net, Dwayne Roloson has strung together 21 wins, while letting just over 100 pucks cross the line.

Bringing up the rear are the once-esteemed Colorado Avalanche. Having put together upwards of 10 division championships, they failed to qualify for the post-season two years ago, got back in this past season, and really have their work cut out for them these last couple of months. At 57 points, they sit dead last in the west, but only eight points out of the eighth-seed spot for post-season qualification. Ryan Smyth and Milan Hejduk, as they always do, have had solid seasons. The offensive production behind them isn't atrocious; they've gotten help from guys who were perhaps overlooked in October. Their defense, however, is far from the glory years of Deadmarsh/Foote, Blake/Bourque. Further proving my you-should-never-ever-fire-Joel Quenneville theory, the Avalanche would've needed phenomenal play in net to make this season a success, and a 16-24 mark from Peter Budaj isn't gonna cut the mustard, especially when he's faced nearly 1200 shots in almost 2500 minutes of playing time. Thems just ain't good odds.

That'll just about wrap our NHL reports up. We'll make every effort to stay sober enough to examine the Pacific on the morrow.
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Your 2009 Mid-Season Hockey Report: Western Conference, Central Division

Hockey's a fickle business when you're in the coaching end of it, evidenced by the yearly knee-jerk firings such as the one Pittsburgh Penguin General Manager Ray Shero handed Head Coach Michel Therrien on Sunday, less than a year after Therrien's club was a groin hair away from tying eventual Stanley Cup Champion Detroit Red Wings in game seven of last year's finals. But we are, nevertheless, interested in examining the Central today, depressing as that is for a Blues fan like myself. Before we get to those five teams, though, you might want to brush up on the east, and see how things look in the Atlantic, Northeast, and Southeast divisions. Just sayin'...

So the Blues are, with 55 points, in last, as I mentioned. Center Brad Boves has 50 points, and a handful of his teammates have cracked the 30-point mark, but pickins are pretty slim after that. St. Louis is seeing molasses-slow results from the youth it has obtained via several high picks in the last few drafts and free-agent acquisitions made possible by unloading high-end salary veterans like Bill Guerin and Dough Weight. In addition to not producing, however, the Blues D is pretty weak at best. Their +/- ratio is atrocious across the board, and they're certainly not helping their netminders. Main man Manny Legace has to date posted a 13-9 record with an .885 save percentage, while youngster Chris Mason has shown flashes with a 10-15, .916.

In fourth, surprisingly, are the Nashville Predators. Nashville had managed to put together a pair of pretty strong seasons, and have perhaps faltered a bit this season. They currently sit a mere two points ahead of St. Louis, and aside from winger J.P. Dumont and center Jason Arnott, they aren't lighting the lamp often enough to get much accomplished and their defense isn't doing much more. Ultimately, the Predz are under-performing and not giving either of their two goalies much help in protecting the zone. Dan Ellis has notched 11 wins while backup Pekka Rinne has actually played better, giving up 20 fewer goals and winning six more contests.

The Columbus Blue Jackets, of all clubs, are in the middle of the pack. Rick Nash has had another fantastic start, finding the twine 23 times, and assisting on 28 more, while the contributions of left-winger Kristian Huselius and former Philadelphia Flyer R.J. Umberger have also been noteworthy. Their defense has played remarkably well for a club that typically does not, and it's evidenced in their goalie platoon as number-one guy Steve Mason has posted a 21-12 record, only been scored on 75 times, and posted a .925 save percentage. The Blue Jackets currently cling to the eight spot, their 62 points not separating them from much competition.

Eight points up the central ladder are the Chicago Blackhawks, who, in my eyes, are the real surprise of the division thus far. When they fired Denis Savard four games into the season, I was certain that they were doomed for another craptacular campaign, but then they announced that Joel Quenneville would replace him, and my mind quickly changed. For my money, the St. Louis Blues and Colorado Avalanche are still the NHL's fools for buying into the quick-coach-firing trend, and cutting ties with one of the league's best. The 'Hawks have four players in the 40-point ranks, four in the 30s, and still three more in the 20s, which is more than we can say for pretty much every team we've examined thus far. As is the case with most any Quenneville-coached club, the D on this unit is tough and consistent, which only helps your crease maintenance, especially when you've got Nikolai Khabibulin between the pipes, who, by the way, is 17-5 with a .924. Backing him up is Cristobal Huet, who boasts a 14-10, .914 in backup duty.

While Chicago has covered some impressive ground, there's always the Detroit Red Wings to deal with, and this year is no exception. Though not the current number-one seed in the west, they've got a 12-point edge over the 'Hawks, and have gotten there with considerable help. First-line mates Pavel Datsyuk and Henrik Zetterberg have 97 and 92 points, respectively, which is stunning. Behind them are four wingers with 40+ points, but in between the two groups are a couple of defensemen: Brian Rafalski has 55 points, which looks impressive. That is, it looks impressive until you compare him to future Hall-of-Famer Nicklas Lidstrom, who never seems to lose a step, and with 10 goals and 60 assists so far in 2008-09, doesn't plan on doing so soon. Detroit is getting production from all four lines, and when you tandem two guys named Chris Osgood and Dominik Hasek in net, your chances of repeating as champs are pretty darn good. This could be the year we see an original-six finals, with Boston and Detroit as solid frontrunners.

That's our look at the Central. We'll be back with more hockey tomorrow.
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Your 2009 Mid-Season Hockey Report: Eastern Conference, Southeast Division

If I had to pick a snoozer division in the NHL, this would be it. Even though the Lightning and the Hurricanes have won championships in recent years, this division is drier than a post-rodeo cowboy crotch. It's got the most new teams, and typically the least success. I've been known to jump on a Carolina bandwagon or two, but beyond that, I posit that no division gets less focus each season than the Southeast. We will cover it, nevertheless, and like Friday's look at the Northeast, we'll start from the bottom.

The Atlanta Thrashers have fewer points than anyone in hockey, save the New York Islanders. The equivalent of that would be the 2008 Kansas City Chiefs who, thank their lucky stars, had the Detroit Lions beneath them, saving them from being the worst of the terrible. They've got the incredible Ilya Kovalchuk leading the stats brackets, and Vyacheslav Kozlov right behind him. Combined, the two have 106 points. But that's about where this team begins and ends. Their defense is about as thin as a frozen lake in Haiti, and naturally, their goaltending suffers as a result; none of their three netminders is close to playing .500 or better.

In fourth are the Tampa Bay Lightning. Five short years removed from their impressive Stanley Cup championship, they're a mere five points stronger than the Thrashers, which as we've seen, isn't saying much. As usual, Tampa Bay icons Martin St. Louis and Vincent Lecavelier top the ranks in offensive production, but the point tallies somewhat taper off after that. They have gotten some help from aged right-winger Mark Recchi, as well as from Vaclav Prospal and Ryan Malone, but not much else worth mentioning. The Lightning defensive pairings are stronger than most of those we've examined in the east, but not by much. To date, the Lightning keeps five goalies on the roster, none of which have stood on their proverbial heads. Thus, this crew has their work cut out for them, and realistically, should be focusing on next year.

The third-place Hurricanes are a ways ahead of the Lightning, and actually have a +.500 record. They sit in the ninth spot, and aren't far from leap-frogging the eighth-place Buffalo Sabres. Atop their offensive producers are Ray Whitney and Eric Staal. They've also enjoyed some stats from right wing Sergei Samsonov and the ageless Rod Brind'Amour. Their defense is less holey than some, but not as stout as those atop the conference rankings in either the east or the west. In the net, Cam Ward has looked better-than-average at 22-18, but he's let 109 pucks by, and will need the pairings in front of him to play some stealthier D than they've thus far been able to muster.

One notch up in the Southeast are the Florida Panthers, who only have a three-point edge over Carolina. This club is arguably the division's surprise through the "mid-point" of the campaign, and their perhaps-unforeseen success can be attributed to forwards Stephen Weiss, Nathan Horton, David Booth, and Cory Stillman. Additionally, they've gotten help from defenseman Jay Bouwmeester, who's logged 12 goals and 18 assists. Their defense takes a bit of a drop beyond Bowmeester statistically speaking, but they do manage to lend a hand to the number of Tomas Vokoun, who's 18-16, and let less than 100 into the net with an admirable .923 goals-against average.

And in first place, the Washington Capitals, which is almost as surprising as the Panthers being in second, especially given that it's by a 13-point differential. Actually, it's not that surprising at all. They do have Alexander Ovechkin who has a staggering 41 goals and 33 assists midway through February. What is surprising has been the output of center Nicklas Backstrom, who's only lit the lamp 13 times, but has dished out an incredible 47 helpers. Left-winger Alexander "you said" Semin and defenseman Mike Green have also more than impressed with 50 points a piece. What's more is that their second-, third-, and fourth-line centers are all in the 30-point eschelon, and collectively, they have one of (if not) the best +/- differentials in the conference from the top of their roster to the bottom, which means they're scoring a ton, and giving up very litte. This, as I've been saying, always makes a goaltender look better; the Caps have four on their roster and every one of them is above .500 in wins/losses, and .900 save percentages. Former Colorado Avalanche/Montreal Canadien Jose Theodore leads the way at 21-10, and he's not yet let his 100th goal cross the line. Washington is currently tied with New Jersey for the second-place spot in the conference, and they're a solid 12 points ahead of fourth-place Philadelphia. I pity the fool that faces them come playoff time.

That's it for our look at the Southeast. Check in tomorrow as we head out west. And if you're really interested, our Atlantic scoop can be found here.
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Your 2009 Mid-Season Hockey Report: Eastern Conference, Northeast Division

Today we'll have a look at how things have fared a hair beyond the midway point in the National Hockey League's Northeast Division. This group of clubs is largely Canadian, and therefore, largely boring, but there are a few tidbits worth mentioning. The skaters from Beantown are in first place, but we'll run the mill of these teams in reverse order today, since we're fly like that in the mix-it-up way of things. For your largely misinformed peek into this currently strongest Eastern Conference assortment of teams, jump the wall and join us out on the ice.

Bringing up the bottom end of things are the Ottawa Senators, which is unfortunate in that the Sens have made the post-season with strong playoff runs in most every season since the lockout. This is not to say that they can't squeak in this year, and their recent three-game win streak obviously helps, but they still have their work cut out for them. As usual Daniel Alfredsson leads the team in points, and Dany Heatley is right there with him. The offense has also seen help from center Jason Spezza, and defenseman Filip Kuba has contributed with a noteworthy 26 assists. Like many of the clubs we examined yesterday, however, the Ottawa defense hasn't impressed many, making goaltending a difficult job. One-time key netminder Martin Gerber has only seen action in 14 contests, leaving Alex Auld with the bulk of the starts, though his 9-13 record leaves little to be desired.

In fourth are the Toronto Maple Leafs. To date, they only have a two-point edge over the Sens, and that's largely due to the play of left wing Jason Blake and center Nik Antropov. Centers Dominic Moore and Matt Stajan are having solid seasons too, and in fact, a significant amount of their first three lines are generating points. The Leafs defense is a hair stronger than average, while their goaltending is barely reaping the benefits. The aged Curtis Joseph has seen some action in the crease, but most of the starts have gone to Vesa Toskala, who currently sits at 18-17, with an .882 save percentage, a number that's pretty low given that he's let 152 pucks by him.

Third place in the Northeast is where the point distance begins. The Buffalo Sabres sit 12 points ahead of Toronto, and if the season ended today, they'd be the eight seed. Left wing Thomas Vanek and center Derek Roy are both having strong campaigns, combining for 102 points between them. The Sabres are also getting results from some of their lower lines, and some strong numbers from their defense as well. This almost always makes for stronger performances from goalies, and this is certainly the case with Ryan Miller, who, at 26-14, boasts a .919 save percentage.

One more notch up are the Canadiens of Montreal. They've only got a two-point edge on Buffalo, but they've got a more well-spread point production across their roster, and their plus/minus ratio is significantly less staggered from positions one through 18. The Habs may very well be a dark horse in this year's post-season, and they've gotten solid play from both netminders thus far. Carey Price has gotten the nod for 35 of their tilts, and he's come away with 18 wins, while Jaroslav Halak has won 11 of 22. This roster has a near-ideal mix of veteran players and youth, something that could position them to peak at just the right moment. And, hey, if you dig them, you can follow them on Twitter. Woo-hoo!

Then there's Boston. Take everything that's gone well for Montreal and multiply it by two. The Bruins are an astounding 21 points ahead of their second-place division rivals, and the production from this club is spread like room-temperature butter on a hot dinner roll. Big man Zdeno Chara continues to anchor the defense, and his 12 goals and 20 assists support that claim. The play of their centers, though, is the real story. Marc Savard, Dave Krejci, and Philip Kessel have combined for 64 goals and 99 assists, and there's nothing that can replace consistent production from three of your four lines. Even fourth-liner Patrice Bergeron has lit the lamp 4 times and tallied 17 helpers. Their defense, even beyond Chara, is nails, and that of course, translates to the guys in net. Tuukku Rask has played in one contest and won. Manny Fernandez is the second man, and he's 14-3, which leaves the main guy, Tim Thomas, who sits at a sizzling 24-6, having only given up 76 goals while riding the wave of a .930 save percentage. Season after season, the Bruins squeak into the playoffs. They seldom make it beyond round one, and when they do, they're usually a breeze to knock out of the second. This, however, is the Eastern team to fear come April.

That's your report for today. Check back on Monday, and we'll examine the Southeast.
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Your 2009 Mid-Season Hockey Report: Eastern Conference, Atlantic Division

As sure as I sit here, I confidently predict that this will be the best-read feature on the House of Georges for months to come. You see, not only is our server frequently bombarded with traffic, our comment boxes exploding with opinion, the imminent pressure put upon our staff is inarguably the demand for more hockey coverage. In years past, we haven't delivered much of it, mostly because Cecil and Old No. 7 have season tickets to the Avalanche, and they're too busy to attend the games and write about them, which leaves me, alone out here in my sea of fat, drunk people to try and produce something of the stick-and-puck variety. I won't make any promises, sweet readers, other than that I will reach for far below my very best to produce nothing but the facts. Ma'am.

So we're about 10-12 games beyond mid-season at this point, and things in the Atlantic look pretty much par for the course. Out in front with 35 wins and 73 points are the Devils of New Jersey. Leading the pack is left-winger Zach Parise, who has put together an astonishing campaign; so far he's netted 34 goals and 33 assists for 67 points. Veterans Patrik Elias, Jamie Langenbrunner, Dainius Zubrus, and John Madden have made significant contributions to the campaign as well. New Jersey has, for as long as I can remember, put at least an above-decent defense on the ice, and excellent +/- ratios of 22 from Colin White and John Oduya suggest that the same is still true. In net, however, things are looking different for the Devils. Future Hall-of-Famer Martin Brodeur has only played in 10 games earning his team wins, while the younger Scott Clemmensen has played in 36 times, earned 23 wins and put up a solid .920 save percentage.

As for the second-place Philadelphia Flyers, things don't look too bad for them as they sit a mere eight points behind New Jersey. Center Jeff Carter leads the way with 34 goals and 24 assists, while left wingers Simon Gagne and Scott Hartnell are having noteworthy seasons. The Philly D, however, looks vulnerable while not producing many points. Martin Biron and Antero Nittymaki have split the goaltending duties and done respectable jobs behind their porous defensive units.

In third are the New York Rangers who share a point total with the Flyers, so their post-season hopes are equivalent. Nikolai Zherdev, Scott Gomez, Markus Naslund, and Ryan Callahan have contributed to New York's offensive successes, but like Philly, their defense has underachieved as a unit. Henrik Lundqvist has gotten the majority of the starts between the pipes. His 25 wins don't look bad, but his 114 goals allowed suggest otherwise.

The Lone Reader's Pittsburgh Penguins are exactly where I thought they'd be after an incredible run to the finals last year: in fourth with 59 points and only the lowly New York Islanders beneath them. Evgeni Malkin and Sidney Crosby have combined for an amazing 152 points, and gotten help from Petr Sykora and Miroslav Satan, who together have 35 goals. The Penguin defense, however, has been well below impressive, and Marc-Andre Fleury, after missing a few contests due to injury, sits at a meager 19-14 record. The good thing for Pittsburgh is that they're only one point behind the eighth-place seed, so they can still squeak in with a strong second half.

The Islanders. Well, 16 wins through early February won't cut the mustard. Though you always say don't count anyone out, you gotta count NYI out. Mark Streit, Doug Weight, and Bill Guerin have had decent production, but everyone else on the roster pretty much stinks. You know things aren't good when you've got four goalies on the roster, and the one who's seen the most action is 11-23, while your former first overall pick in the draft has seen action in only five contests.

That's the Atlantic. Check back in tomorrow for some exciting Northeast action.
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Midseason Report Card: NL East

At long last, the cycle is complete as we bring you our final installment of MLB Midseason Report Cards. We've spared no expense or chunk of time in doing so, as the fact that it's mid-September clearly illustrates. Today, we'll have a look at the National League East, and our guest expert is none other than Mr. Geoff Bousum, who graced us with his presence in this same fashion last year. Our other features from this year can be found here, here, here, here, and here. All your NL East goodies for 2008, however, are just after the jump.

Bankmeister: Let's start with the bottom of the division and work our way up; that seems to be a pleasant way of scouring clubs. The Washington Nationals are a very bad baseball team. I mean they're scrapping for title of worst with the Mariners right now. I've got a soft spot for them because I used to dig on the Expos as a kid. The move from Canadia to our nation's capital was supposed to do them some good. What's the deal with this team? A glance at their roster resembles a glance in the toilet after swilling Hamm 's for three days straight. There's some liquid in there. There's some crap in there. There's some shit you don't recognize, and there's the overwhelming sense of "Christ. I shouldn't have done that." What's in store for this franchise in the next three years? Any progress?

Geoff Bousum: Your question pretty much answers itself. I really doubt the Nats are going to be much better in the next 3 years. As long as there are teams like Pittsburgh and Kansas City (no offense, brah) in the league, they at least have the chance to no be the worst team in the league. Things are pretty ugly when Lastings Milledge is your clean-up hitter and has the most HRs on your team with 14, although that may be one of the greatest names ever. If I ever have a butler, his name is going to be Lastings Milledge. I think Howard and Utley combined have more homers than the Nats. Injuries have been a big part, but that aside, the obvious truth is that there is really no talent on any part of this team. Who was their all star? Cristian Guzman? He probably saw five innings of that shit all-star game. No talent=no wins. I say last place for the Nats in the NL East the next three years.

B: You might be right there. The poor bastard. Then there's Atlanta . The proverbial NL East stronghold for many years is nearly 20 games under .500 right now. As Durango 's once-famed band SuperBee once titled an album, "What the Crap?" has happened to Club Schuerholz? They were loaded with talent for some time, and perhaps hung onto a few of those meaty cuts beyond their reccommended expiration dates. Are the Braves as respected in the talent-scouting department as they were, say 15 years ago?

GB: I don’t think that the Braves recent lack of success is due to poor talent scouting. I have to say, I saw this coming for Atlanta. They had such a great core of players for so long; it’s hard to keep that going for a few years, let alone for 14 division titles. Again, an injury plagued season……but, nobody there to pick up the slack. McCann had a nice season, as did Chip (white trash) but the bullpen sucks, the starting rotation is not much better, and they cannot win on the road. That's a bad combination. Personally, I love it. For almost 15 years of my life I watched this team own my Phillies, and it is nice to see the tables turned. I gotta say though, it is will be a sad day when Maddux, Glavine and Smoltz are all retired. Those are a select few that the game will miss. Does that sound gay?

B: Good points, and yes -- it sounds very gay. Not as gay as when we talk Florida Marlins baseball, but pretty gay. In talking Marlins though, we seldom mention phrases like exceeding expectations. Sure. They won a series, and opened 2008 as tough as their AL counterparts in Tampa . They've managed to stay competitive, but have dropped in the standings to third, likely because the Mets and Phils are just plain better. Is this club on the verge of becoming an annual contender, or has this season been semi-flukish?

GB: I think that the Fish could be the pests of the NL East for years to come. They were putting together a nice season until the Phillies, then the Mets got hot and the Marlins went in the opposite direction. They can score runs, hit the long ball, but they also strike out a lot and make some errors. Their pitching is pretty shaky, and that punk Scott Olsen...I would like to grab the brim of his big stupid hat and put my knee into his little beak nose. Seriously though, I admire what this team has done with the pathetic fan base and lack of support they get from that city (that goes for you too, TAMPA !) That said, I wouldn’t care if they moved the team to Vegas and called them the Dice. They could join the AL West. They are trying to get a new stadium approved which may help, but I doubt it. It will just look less empty than a Joe Robbie’s Pro Dolphin Player Stadium or whatever it’s called.

B: I think it's called Miami Stadium Where Seldom Plays a Pro, but I could be wrong. Finally, though, there's Philly and New York. I'm pretty certain no two division rivals have flopped first and second place more times this year than these two. LA and Arizona have been close, as have Chicago and Minnesota , but this could be a last-day dual for Eastern Division bragging rights. Since your Phils are in second today with a mere half-game separating them from the Mets, how have you felt about their play this season? They've got a pretty stacked roster, as do the Shea Stadium kids. Would you say it's typical that these two clubs have been as competitive as they have been with one another?

And the Mets. They've got some girth to their giddy-up, but can they muster a push strong enough to hold off Philly? If they can, what will the post-season look like for them? Choke city?

GB: Mets v Phillies has always been a great rivalry, but it has been magnified over the last few years of course, as these two teams have been the contenders for the division. As I write this the Phillies have a half-game lead on the division, in first place, where they have been most of the year. Contrary to what the idiots in the media are portraying, the Mets are not on track for the epic melt down of last year. Last year was a Chernobyl-scale melt down, where as this year’s meltdown (if it indeed happens) would be more like a cheese fondue. I think the biggest lead the Mets have had in the division was like three and-a-half games and it was for only a few days. It’s not like they had a commanding lead all season and have all of the sudden shit the bed, but that’s what the writers want us to think, because it makes a better story. Failure is a far better story than success. These are the two best teams in the NL East, and maybe the two best in the NL. The Phillies probably have a more complete team than the Mets and the Phillies have a much better chance to go deep in the playoffs. The Mets have too many weak spots (particularly the bullpen) to win a playoff series. If they make the playoffs (which I think they will as the wild-card), they will lose in the first round. If the Phillies win the Division, or even make a wild card, Ryan Howard has got to be the MVP. Forget the .245 average and the 200 strikeouts. The guy is the most feared hitter in baseball and he is even starting to make some Web gems! I am watching the game right now; I still don’t know who this J.A. Happ guy is, but he is pitching well. Kyle Kendrick anyone?

B: Hard to argue with. Well, we'll call it a wrap there, and look to see your Phillies go deep into October. Thanks for joining us.



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Midseason Report Card: NL Central

Ha. Had you fooled twice! Not only is it not mid-season, it's Cleveland that Jesus hates! Whoa. I'm embarrassed to have included exclamation points in consecutive sentences. Oh, well. Wilier things have happened in this House.

Anyway, it's practically mid-season for the NFL, so we're par for the course in Tokyo, or something. Today's focus is the NL Central, and our guest is actually not a guest at all; he lives in this House, and his name is Cecil. He was kind enough to take time out of his daily grind to sit down, and tell us how it be in baseball. Somehow -- must be the genius that he is -- he was able to come up with really good answers to my really awful questions. Pick up on what he's puttin' down, after the jump, and if you dig it, the other editions of this feature are as such:

NL West, AL East, AL Central, AL West


Bankmeister: Let's work our way from the bottom up. Shall we? Okay. Good. The Pittsburgh Pirates. What. The fuck. I'm beginning to consider this team the Arizona Cardinals of Major League Baseball. It seems that every season, folks are thinking the Pirates have gotten it together, and are ready to play some better baseball. Not the case. Right now they sit at 60-84, a cool 26 games out of first, and nestled deep in the basement. Do you pay any attention to this team? Is there any reason to?

Cecil: Me? I barely even recognize Pittsburgh as an American city. Does it exist? Those big sandwiches with the fries in 'em, that's all fake, right?

So, no. I keep up with the Pirates only as far as checking Nate McLouth's stats in the box score. I drafted him in our fantasy league in like the 413th round this year, as you'll recall.

Which is kinda sad, at least in the context of baseball history. I mean, these are the flippin' Pittsburgh Pirates. Roberto Clemente, the 1960 World Series, Honus Wagner. It's a franchise with history flowing over its belt. 1979, We Are Family, Willie Stargell. These are iconic bits of American sporting life. Almost as much as their crazy-ass old round caps with the lines on 'em. Jesus, those things were hideous.

They also had Kent Tekulve, whose delivery I used to attempt to imitate in the backyard. Turns out the submarine isn't for everyone.

B: True indeed. Although, being the homer that I am, I always pretended that Tekulve ripped of Dan Quisenberry. Along the same vein as you expressed, the Pirates are to me, a team of the past, a team well-remembered from my youth, but seldom thought of in today's game. I'm sure there are Pittsburgh fans that would have me slain, but it's the truth.

The Reds, however, are a different animal, if only by species, but different nonetheless. They seem to occasionally wrap their hands around some talent, and the organization appears to be run fairly well, now that a certain she-devil has passed. Yet, they can't seem to get all the gears to run simultaneously. Their record right now isn't much better than Pittsburgh's, but I certainly take them more seriously. Your thoughts on the not-all-that-big-anymore Red Machine?

C: Speaking of Quis, I found a button with his likeness on it in a Seattle thrift shop. Keep meaning to give it to you -- I'll bring it out for the game.

The Reds are different, absolutely -- but it's hard to judge by the numbers, as you say. They always have talent, they always have the fans, they have more history than any other franchise in baseball--they are the oldest extant, even more so than my ancient Cubs -- but in recent years, something's definitely been missing....

Maybe starting pitching? I mean, without really doing any research or thinking about it too hard, that seems to be the Reds' bugbear. They have Edinson Volquez now, and he's pretty good, but before that...Joaquin Andujar? Seriously, I just can't think of one. I know they play in a matchbox, and they like sluggers and 10-9 games, but at some point you need pitching, right? All the Adam Dunns and Junior Griffeys in the world can't change that.

But their success when we were kids, plus that of the relatively recent past -- they did win a Series in 1990, after all -- kinda pushes them farther up the list than Pittsburgh, even if neither franchise has really done anything recently.

B: For sure. Johnny Cueto looked like he was going to have a monster season early on, but then he plummeted to the likes of sub-mediocrity. Flippin' Bronson Arroyo has managed to net 14 wins and upwards of 150 fans, but his E.R.A. stays in the high fours. Then there's Aaron Harang, who loaded bushels of Ks into his stats last year, but hasn't been much worth mentioning since. The rest of their guys aren't even household names, including former Rock and Royal Jeremy Affeldt.

But alas, there's another red team to discuss, and that of course is none other than the ass-pounding Cardinales de St. Louis. I can't stand that franchise, and I imagine you feel the same. Perhaps this is our commonest baseball ground?

C: Eh, fuck the Cardinals.

I mean -- this is a year when, finally, I can kinda sit back and just forget they even exist. And you know what? That flippin' rules.

From photogray lens-wearing La Russa to Pujols to their red-clad, huge-gutted fanbase, I can say without reservation that I absolutely despise that team. Seriously, how many Series have they won? I'm too lazy (not to mention behind the 8-ball at work) to look it up, but it's a lot. And then, '06, when they squeeze into the playoffs with a record barely-over-.500 record and win it again? Christ. It makes my teeth hurt just talking about it. One of my co-workers is a Cards fan and magnaminously suggested that hey, maybe they lose that one -- "because we already have so many."

Die. Die. Die die die die die. And I don't mean the German usage.

Ah, but now, they have a fairly mediocre squad (even though they have a winning record) and former assholio grande Jim Edmonds is now playing for the good guys. They've been ravaged by injuries and Rick Ankiel joins Troy Glaus in shooting up a neckful of horse semen during the 7th inning stretch. This is what I like to call a good season. Sit tight and suffer, O still-proud owners of McGwire jerseys.

B: I'll cheers to that. And I'll even add in the Charlton Heston voice quoting "Cop Killer" to enhance my hatred for them. But since it is one of those seasons, let's move on. The Milwaukee Brewers. What, in God's name, has happened to this club since their mid-season run of excellent baseball that took off before and flourished after they acquired his Sabathianess? It's almost like they're trying to lose. Can they even save face and cling to that slimming shot at a wildcard?

Er, update...apparently Ned Yost has been fired.

C: Ah, nice call on Moses. I had forgotten all about that...

The Brew Crew. At one point this season I was legitimately worried that they'd catch us -- after all, they added one of the best pitchers in the game, their lineup is studded with quality bats and they have kids in giant sausage costumes racing around the diamond during the 7th inning stretch. That's a tough combo, there.

And then...it all just disintegrated. They couldn't have picked a worse time to have a losing streak -- as if there is ever a good time -- than they just did, because that was practically the only time all season that Chicago's division lead was vulnerable. But lo, they squandered their one chance, and now it's fire Ned Yost time.

They just don't have the pitching depth they need. And they aren't going to be able to keep Sabathia. Even with all the talent on that squad, I see them taking a dip next year. Way to waste your shot, Milwaukee.

B: True to it all. Hate to see a wasted shot for that club.

Finally, your Cubs. Their pitching has been great most all year, and their hitting, while spotty, has obviously managed to get the job done. There've obviously been plenty of reasons to support the speculation behind possible tankage, but now, in mid-September, they've cranked it up a teense, have won five in a row, and extended their division lead to nine games. Clearly, there's no way the Brewers could catch them now, so we'll go ahead and give them the division.

How do you see their post-season realistically shaking out?

C: It all depends on Zambrano and Harden -- simplistic, yes, but those two guys are their best starters and both have had health issues, Zambrano this year and Harden, well, always.

Assuming we can keep all of our fingers and toes crossed for another month or so, and Mr. Glass can maintain as he has been, I like their chances versus basically anybody. Of the potential playoff teams -- Mets, Phillies, Dodgers, Milwaukee or maybe Houston -- the only team that freaks me out is the Phillies, because of their sticks and that teensy bandbox they play in.

Soriano has really developed into a drink-stirrin' straw, Soto looks like a 10-year vet, D. Lee is a stud and they have quality role players throughout the order who come through in the clutch.

Man...I don't wanna jinx anything, but that's the chemistry of championship baseball: excellent pitching, an offense that isn't overly reliant on one or two guys and depth in the bullpen.

B: Got it. So, venture out on a limb and give me your NL playoff predictions up to, and including the Series.

C: NL East: Philadephia

NL Central: Chicago Cubs

NL West: LA Dodgers (Hi, Humberto!)

Wild Card: New York Mets. Let's just assume they don't turn into a folding card table again this year, although they might very well.

National League Division Series:

Cubs v. Mets, Cubs in 4 games.

Dodgers v. Phillies, Dodgers in 5.

National League Championship Series:

Cubs v. Dodgers, Cubs in 6.

World Series:

Cubs v. LA Angels (I just can't buy the Bay Rays. Sorry.), Cubs in 7 in a classic fall classic. The curse is lifted, the country erupts, Harry Caray rises from the dead and shows up on Blanche's doorstep to utter a "HOLY COW!"

B: And there you have it. Of our panelists who've made predictions, all three have included Los Anaheim in the Series. Two have included Halo victories, and now, one for the Gipper. Tune in just before the Cubs and Angels square off for our NL East installment. Yes, indeedy.
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Midseason Report Card: NL West

What. So it's September. Hardly mid-season. I got it, already. We type (from wheelchairs no less) our content, mail it to a Web-publishing office, who then sends us a draft edit, and we fix stuff, and send it back. It takes time. We promise, though, to have the National League covered by month's end. For real. Anyway, special agent Johnny Utah joins us today, and if you like what he says about America's pastime, then check out what the babealicious Sooze said about the AL Central here, Blanche Feverpiss on the West here, and Rustoleum's slant on the East here. Actually, we don't really care if you liked it or not. We did, and we're not only slow as erosion, we're self-pleasers. Anyway, for the record, our boy Utah is also a fan of exclamation points and all-capping the occasional word.

Bankmeister: First, if you would, tell us a bit about yourself, your history as a baseball fan, and how you've come to embrace the team we all associate with Tommy Lasorda, Steve Garvey, (Editor's Note: I've heard you say before that Garvey is a sore spot since he later went to San Diego, but that's how I'll always remember him, so all apologies.) Steve Sax, Ron Cey, and of course, Fernando Valenzuela. I trust you were well engaged by the 1988 World Series, and I'll assume that since I remember the '81 defeat of the Yankees, that you do, too.

Beyond that, as of today, the Dodgers are a game and-a-half back of the Arizona Diamonbacks (Note: Obviously a few days ago; the reverse is true today.), and if memory serves correctly -- chances are it doesn't, and I'm too lazy to look it up -- that's pretty much been the case since mid-season, give or take a small handful of games. We've got a little over three weeks left in this regular season, and as of today, L.A. hosts Arizona for a three-game series (Note: LA swept that series, 7-0, 7-2, and 5-3). How do you see this division shaking up? If Team Lasorda can't get it done, the Phillies right now have a better record than the Dodgers. I imagine that you're hoping to take the division and rule out the nerve-racking possibility of having to squeak in as a wildcard.

Johnny Utah: Ok, Im a life-long Dodger fan since my father played for them in the 60s and later tried to make a comeback in the Phillies organization. I grew up in Philly watching the likes of Mike Schmidt, but always had the Blue Blood. And yes, Garvey is my boy even though he became a Padre (I still block that out!). The wanker once not only wouldn't sign an autograph for me, but he dropped my pen and wouldn't pick it up! Bastard!

The '88 series was magical for me. I was fresh out of high school and becoming a member of the working force. Man, I remember the Gibby home run like it was yesterday. It was all the sweeter that he hit it off Douche Eckersley. In my opinion, Mickey Hatcher was the MVP of the series but never got the credit. One home run all year, with 2 clutch at bats in the series! Atta boy, Mickey!

Enough with the history lesson; on to the present. It has to be the division or nothing. Ten games out of the wild card would be next to impossible, so nix that out of the equation.

This weekend series is pivotal. Good for me that it takes place in the not-so-friendly confines of Chavez Ravine. I predict the boys in blue take two out of the three and go on to win the division by two games. Why?

First, the Snakes' rotation is totally overrated. The Unit is not what he was. He's not intimidating anymore, although John One Nut Kruk will say different. Brandon Webb has proven in his last two outings that he is not untouchable. He has given up six runs in each of his last two, one of the games in question was to the pillow-bitting Padres. Sit down Webby, you started hot and gave my fantasy team a boost, but...Dan Haren? Gimme a break....

Adam Dunn was a nice pickup, NOT. The friggin guy strikes out more than me at a Victoria's Secret photo shoot! Moot point, just wanted to include.

Why LaLa will take it...

Joe Torre is a really good manager. He has kept Jeff "The Mustache Kent" from causing any grief with teammates. Bonus points there!

The bullpen has proven that even with the loss of Takashi Saito they can shut down the opposition in the closing innings. Kind of a closer-by-committee approach courtesy of Mr. Torre. Chan Ho Park and Jonathan Broxtan have proven themselves in this department.

A quality starting staff: Derek Lowe has been in many a playoff hunt, so there is some experience. Chad Billingsly is going to be a fantasy stud in the next few years, as is Clayton Kershaw. In fact, the Indians wanted Billingsly in a deal for Sabathia, which LA obviously declined. Thank you, Ned Colletti!

The additions of Casey Blake and ManRam: They have both contributed a great deal. Blake seems to come up with key hits in the clutch. Manny always finds a way to get on base now that he is happy with his situation. Even if it is by the ole IBB, he is a strong bat in the lineup the Bums have been missing since Pedro Guererro.

The schedule also points in the favor of LA. More road games, but six against San Diego, six against the Jints, and four at Pittsburgh.

Looming are the fricken Rockies @ five games back. They DID come out of nowhere last year....Not concerned about Jorge DeLa Rosa this year....Matt Holliday would look good in Blue, isnt he a free agent?....I'm just saying

B: Interesting. So, LA has the edge based the non-strength of their remaining schedule, and because the Diamondbacks, are, you say, a tad overrated? Perhaps I can see a shade of that with their rotation, but they've still managed to score more runs than anybody in the division except the Rockies. That means they're either putting some lumber on some seamage, or getting on base and advancing runners, or some combination of both. Therefore, they can remain competitive, even if their pitching is slightly weaker than it looks on paper. Are you feeling confident enough to guarantee an LA division title? Assuming you are, and that that happens, who would you fear most in the playoffs? The Cubs of course have the great record, but they sort of seem to be falling apart right now. Do the Mets pose a threat? How about Milwaukee? They're my dark horse.

JU: Very overrated. They do have the second most runs in the division. However, when they lost the O-Dog Orlando Hudson, they lost a piece of their chemistry. Since he was placed on the DL August 10th, they have seemed to lose steam. I have a lot of love for Steven Drew, baseball's version of Scott Skiles, but he alone won't get the job done. Adam Dunn, as I stated earlier, is a strikeout machine. He is unable to advance runners. Glory hound I say...

With that, I say I'm very confident on a NL West Title. Im trying to stay unbiased, but all signs point to DodgerTown.

Although the starting rotation is shaky, the Phils are the biggest scare. That lineup is fierce. Chase Utley has a career .355 and an OPS of 1.105 against my boys. Russell Martin has been horrendous throwing out runners this year, so Jimmy Rollins becomes even more dangerous. Shane Victorino (who was drafted by LA in '99) finds ways of coming aroung to score. Needless to say, sound fundamental ball is the Dodgers' weakness.

Just advancing to the NLCS will be a victory after the past disappointments.

It will occur, write it down. So says Johnny Utah.

B: NLCS you say? So they get in, win one round of the playoffs, get eliminated, and you're fine with that? I find that hard to swallow. Frankly, I would expect more from someone who's waited 20 years for a Dodger World Series trophy, and even more so for someone who watched a Philly Eagles team come so close for those consecutive years, only to go home disappointed each time.

JU: Geez, Banky. Why do you have to bring Donnie Mac into this?

I'm not saying that I would be satisfied with a one and out. I was just saying that anything less than that would be a huge disappointment. With bringing in Torre, and his ability to manage the team, not winning the division would have Dodger Nation calling for his head.

We Blue Bloods are hungry for a ring! With ManRam, Torre, the pitching staff, and the hot bat of Ethier, it's obtainable.

B: Fair enough, Utah. How do you see the rest of the playoffs panning out, both NL and AL?

JU: For the N.L., I see Dodgers~Phillies in the NLCS, with the Phils winning in six games. In the A.L., I see the Red Sox taking the East, with the Rays getting the wild card. White Sox and Twins tie, with the Pale Hose winning the one-game tie breaker. I'll say the Angels take out the South Siders in the ALCS.

I predict another title for the Angels in five games. They have no glaring weakness.

B: Interesting. No Baby Bears anywhere in the mix? First-round elimination for the best record in baseball?

JU: Not so much; just not sold on the Scrubs (real original I know). I'm not buying this 100 years; it's fate B.S. I hate the Cubs so much that come November I'm writing in Steve Bartman for Prez!

B: Alrighty, then. It's been a pleasure having you with us. If you make it to the Ravine for any playoff ball, be careful. Humberto will find you.

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