Let's Play 163: Unexpected, Oddly Scheduled Baseball In The Daytime

Why hello there, disoriented day baseball fan! Just when you thought you'd been cast out for the winter by Bud Selig and his band of goons, along comes a surprise morsel of good times. It's a one-game playoff! In the middle of the afternoon! Sure, it's inside a building, so the only sunshine you'll see will be out your own window. Unless there's a blimp there--I love it when they bring a blimp to dome games. Hey look, there's the Metrodome. There's a game inside, we promise. This footage was most certainly not shot in 1986, swear.

So traipse past the jump, folks, to find everything you could ever imagine about this odd little baseball game. We'll even tell you who's going to win, and give you deep and insightful analysis about the ramifications on the remainder of the playoffs. Actually, that's crap--the Yankees will sweep whoever wins this contest.

Detroit @ Minnesota, 3:07 Mountain We'll get to the pitching and the lineups and the drunken wife-beating and all the other subplots in just a moment. First we have to set the scene. In the words of noted Scottish/Canadian/Rhode Islander poet David Byrne: "And you may ask yourself-well...how did I get here?"

First off, the Twins simply played their mother-loving asses off this month. On September 13 Minnesota was five and half games behind the Tigers in the AL Central. Since then they've gone a preposterous 16-4, and their only loss to a team other than the Tigers was at the hands of certain Cy Younger Zack Greinke. Over the same stretch Detroit has limped in at 11-10, with only a Justin Verlander win Sunday saving them from a sweep by the White Sox and lasting choke infamy.

Is the Tigers' gag job the worst ever? Of course not. It's not on the level of the 1964 Phillies (6 1/2 up with 12 to play), the '69 Cubs (9 1/2 up in mid-August), or the '78 Red Sox (14 up on July 19 before losing the one-game playoff on Bucky Dent's home run). Hell, it's not even as bad as the Met's collapse in 2007 (7 games up on September 12), although it's worse than what Los Mets did last year (giving up a 3 1/2-game lead with 17 to play). Detroit's gravest shame is blowing a three-game lead with four games to play, something only the 2008 Denver Broncos could identify with.

In the past, the home teams for these one-game playoffs have been determined by a coin toss, which is of course stupid (yet far less stupid than tying home field for the World Series to the All-Star Game). So for 2009 MLB instituted a sensible reform, one which gives the home field to the team with the better head-to-head record. Since Minnesota won the season series with the Tigers, they host. Yet since the Twins also share the Metrodome with the Vikings (for now, baseball-only Target Field opens in April) and the Vikings had Favrepalooza scheduled for last night, we play today. Got it? Got it.

PITCHING: Rick Porcello (14-9, 4.04 ERA, 4.42 K/9, 1.62 K/BB) v. Scott Baker (15-9, 4.36/5.37/2.29)

The Twins have a decided advantage here--Baker is unquestionably their ace and has been stellar in the second half with a 3.30 ERA. Porcello has been the Tigers' third-best starter in this his rookie campaign and has tired considerably as the season has gone on. He's 20 freakin' years old.

With the Favre-induced day off yesterday, both bullpens are at full strength. Plus, it's all-hands-on-deck time, so if either Jim Leyland or Ron Gardenhire need to throw a random starter in to advance they will. Like I said, the winner gets an automatic sweep at the hands of the Yankees, so who gives a shit?

HITTING

When Justin Morneau went down with a back injury September 14, it was presumed by many, including yours truly, that the team was toast. Of course, Morneau's convalescence almost exactly coincides with the Twins 16-4 season-ending hot streak, so it's possible that his teammates really, really dislike him. His is Canadian, and therefore surely a pompous asshole with a stupid accent and liberal ideas. Michael Cuddyer has stepped in at first and basically turned in to Lou Gehrig. Former deadbeats like Delmon Young, Jason Kubel and Orlando Cabrera have been ripping covers off baseballs recently, and Joe Mauer is as much of a lock for MVP as Greinke is for Cy Young.

Meanwhile, the Tigers have already decided to pack their bats away for winter. The once-deadly threesome of Curtis Granderson, Carlos Guillen and Brandon Inge is batting .189 over the last week, and then we have Miguel Cabrera. Cabrera, the heart of the Tiger lineup and on the books for $20 mil-plus a year for the next six, had a fun weekend. In the midst of going 0-for-11 with 12 men left on base in the series against the White Sox, Cabrera had the cops called to his house early Sunday morning following a 911 call from his wife. Turns out Cabrera had been out carousing with White Sox players and came home trashed. Tigers fans, as you might guess, are less than fired up about their best player's commitment to winning.

The Only Tiger who's swinging a hot bat is Magglio Ordonez. On the verge of being benched at midseason for extreme suckery, Maggs kicked it into high gear (the cynic in me says it was to vest an $18 million option for next season) and hasn't stopped. Ordonez hit .459 in September and is 9-for-15 with a 1.514 OPS in this brief month.

INTANGIBLES

Neither manager is crappy--everyone in the game admires the work Gardenhire does with his players, and Leyland has skippered three different clubs to the playoffs (we'll once again ignore his disastrous stint in Colorado). The biggest X-factor here is the Metrodome. Words cannot encapsulate how shitty this place is for a ballgame. The fans are raucous and right on top of the players. The roof is white, and so are baseballs. This makes fly balls a circus for visiting defenders, and it all adds up to the biggest home-field advantage in pro sports. In both 1987 and 1991, the Twins won the World Series despite losing every single road game--the Dome's quirks are that pronounced and that much of an edge for the hosts.

PREDICTION

Everything looks like it favors the Twins, so I was absolutely prepared to pick the Tigers. Not just to be a contrarian, but because big games almost never go the way we think they will--this is the main reason sports are awesome. Plus, the day off has to hamper the Twins' momentum a bit, Porcello's a very talented pitcher, and the fact that the Tigers are a veteran club with a veteran manager leads me to believe they'll be able to block out all the shenanigans. But then I heard Leyland bitching about the MNF-induced rescheduling, and I changed my tune. Look, having to play on Tuesday and then boogie to New York is no picnic, and you have a right to be steamed. But airing that grievance ahead of time sounds like making excuses for a predictably bad performance, and it causes me think the Tigers will not show up this afternoon. Let's say Twins 6, Tigers 3. Now let's go Play Ball!
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Baseball In The Daytime: 1 October 2009

Buckle your chin straps and fasten your safety belts, because this is the penultimate Baseball In The Daytime of the whole year and it's a humdinger. That was about the most nonsensical sentence imaginable, as you don't wear helmets or seatbelts while watching day baseball. Unless you're mentally retarded, in which case I apologize for my gross insensitivity to your condition.

Also, I believe that at least a few of next week's Division Series games will be played during daylight hours, so I was wrong there as well. WHO'S THE RETARD NOW?

Juvenile insults aside, we truly do have some killer games on the sked this afternoon. We've got a Cy Young race to decide, a possible playoff spot to clinch, and home field issues on the Senior Circuit to untangle. Some teams are rising, some stumbling, some playing out the string, and some trying to build a little momentum for the offseason. Let's get right into the fray, after the jump...

St. Louis @ Cincinnati, 10:35 Mountain The popular scuttlebutt holds that the NL Cy Young battle is a three-man race. Those men are Tim Lincecum of the Giants (who won in '08) and Cardinals teammates Chris Carpenter and Adam Wainwright. For my money Wainwright's the guy--he's been the most consistently unhittable from start to finish, even though Carpenter and Lincecum have slightly better stuff. It's not wrapped up, however, and a memorable start by Carpenter today could sway some of the spineless chin-strappers that inhabit the Baseball Writers of America. Carpenter's foil today is Cincinnati's Kip Wells.

Of more import than individual awards is the seeding in the NL playoffs. The Dodgers are still on top of the league with 93 wins, but they've dropped four straight to the putrid Pirates and Padres by a combined score 0f 25-7. Philadelphia sits a game behind with 92 wins, while the Rockies and Cardinals are currently at 90. All four of these teams are still in the mix for the top spot, and so every game they play over the next four days is impactful for playoff positioning.

Minnesota @ Detroit, 11:05 Over in the American League, we've got but one spot in the October tournament up for grabs. Someone has to win the Central division, and that someone will be one of the two teams wrasslin' at Comerica today. The Tigers, thanks to last night's 7-2 TKO of the Twins, hold a commanding three-game lead with four to play. A Detroit win behind lefty Nate Robertson means the race is over, good night, please hand in your keys. Should Scott Baker and Minnesota prevail, however, we keep this slugfest alive for at least one more day.

Milwaukee @ Colorado, 1:10 The brooms are out at Coors today, along with whatever symbolic trinketry you smuggle in when you're about to clinch. A boxing glove? A roll of toilet paper? An octopus? I don't know the protocol here. Aaron Cook starts for the home Rockies, who with a win lock down their second playoff berth in three seasons. Manny Parra tries to prevent any celebration on his watch, and you know what? Fuck Manny Parra and fuck the Brewers. We're taking a stand today, and it is decidedly homeriffic in the Centennial State.

With a victory, Colorado can also stay alive for a super-unlikely division crown, which would be their first. Tomorrow the Rox start a season-ending three-gamer at Chavez Ravine versus the free-falling Dodgers.

Arizona @ San Francisco, 1:45 The last of our BitD four-spot features the day's finest pitching matchup, Dan Haren against Lincecum. Haren has gone into his traditional second-half swoon, transforming from onetime Cy candidate to a guy who gives up five a game. Not that I'm bitter, not that I need Dan Haren to show up today to salvage my fading hopes in a fantasy baseball final. Let's throw a few strikes today, fellas, and Play Ball! Read more

Baseball in the Daytime: The Day After the Real Mexican Independence Day

Welcome back in for what's basically the only feature we bring you anymore with any regularity. What with the economy in the outhouse, we've had to cut our staff significantly. Gone are the beat writers that brought you Tradition Tuesday, We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday, ThumbTubes & YouNails, and the ol' Fiction Fix. Left are the lazy slouches known as the Iron Triangle. Bummer for you. No big whoop for us, the lazy and uninventive.

What remains, then, is some day baseball, the occasional long-winded feature, and the dying hopes of the Cy Young award going to a young man with a special-mouthed girlfriend. Your day baseball slate, a click away.

Kansas City @ Detroit, 12:05 Central: Heading into last night's game at Comerica, I had a feeling the Royals would lose. It was one of those situations where, having won seven of their last 10, and considering that Minnesota had won to potentially slide up a game on the Tigers, that the Royals typically find a way not to win. My thoughts changed for a minute when they went up 3-0, but ol' Lenny DiNardo couldn't quite make it through the fifth. Tigers four, Royals three. A solid two-plus weeks into September, it's time to fully shift away from Operation Standings Affect and into Operation Avoid One Hundred Losses. Today's matchup doesn't really bode well for that transition, either. I mean, one of the best arms in the American League will be on the hill for Kansas City: Zack Greinke. This second half, in terms of run support, has just been brutal for Stank, though. He's 13-8 heading into today's tilt, and really, could be aiming for win number 20. His E.R.A. of 2.19 is still the best in baseball. Tim Lincecum of Los Gigantes is closest with a 2.30, and only Linc' and Justin Verlander have more K's. Stank's counterpart today, Edwin Jackson, has done well for himself this season. He sits at 12-8, with a 3.22, and has fanned 145 while walking 62. If you're watching, DirecTV 213, 721 are your channels. If you're listening, it's XM 176.

Milwaukee @ Chicago, 1:20: Matchup number two on our day baseball slate is a bit sad, in that in includes two teams from the same division that really could be contending for a Wild Card spot, had their respective trains not derailed last month. There's a mild discrepancy regarding today's starters for the visiting team: The local fishwrap says the 3-5 Mike Burns'll be on the mound in Chicago; MLB's Intranets site says Dave Bush will take the hill for the Brew Crew. If it's Bush -- and we'll assume that it is -- he's trying to work his way back to .500, having won his last two starts. If it's Burns, he'll be looking for win number four on the season, and hoping to whittle away at a a six-plus E.R.A. The Brewers are playing for next year and for pride. Chicago, with six and-a-half games and four clubs in front of them, could still squeak in, but they'd need some light's-out baseball, a wing, and a prayer. The Cubbies look to get that rollin'; Milwaukee's looking for a series split. DirecTV likes this one so much, it's offering three choices: 307, 722, 723. XM felt it was only worth one: 183.

That's your schtick for today, baseball fans. Here's hoping your sticks and rubbers bask in that sun.
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Baseball In The Daytime: 31 August 2009

It's always nice to find a little day baseball on a Monday. Especially when you're taking Mondays off to watch your kid. In between the feces and the pureed butternut squash, perhaps there will be some time to sneak in a liter of Jack Daniel's and a furious bout of masturbation a pleasant little interlude of baseball.

So load up the strollers, pacifiers and Huggies and join us after the jump...

Tampa @ Detroit, 11:05 Mountain The Bay-Rays have to look at their opponents today with a serious case of jealousy. While Tampa needs to play virtually perfect ball for six months to have any shot at competing with the Yanks and Red Sox in their division, Detroit can coast for long stretches of the season. At no point have I looked at the Tigers this year and thought "Damn, that's a great team." Yet they've led the AL Central since the end of April and held off limp charges from the Twins and the White Sox without breaking a sweat. Life just ain't fair for the Bay-Rays. They go with Big Game James Shields as they attempt to even this four-game series, while Detroit sends Jarrod Washburn to the mound. Washburn has been lackluster since his acquisition from the Mariners, but it's not like this team's October dreams are pinned to Jarrod Washburn.

Pittsburgh @ Cincinnati Let's play another round of The Name Game! I tell you that your starting pitchers today at Great American Ballpark are McCutchen and Wells. You wonder, why is Andrew McCutchen pitching? Ain't he normally a centerfielder with rad hair? Why yes, I say, he is, but the pitching McCutchen is actually Daniel, making his big-league debut today. I know, they look exactly alike. We'll need a program to tell them apart this afternoon.

As for the Reds' starter today, you might wonder of which Wells do I speak? Did Cincy acquire Randy off waivers from the Cubs? Did big fat David emerge from retirement? Has someone seen a Casper? No, no and no. Our lucky Wells is the well(s)-travelled Kip, now with his eighth team in ten years. I'll bet he's got some nice luggage. Stow that Samsonite in the overhead bin and Play Ball!
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Baseball in the Daytime: el 20 de Agosto, Dos Mil Nueve

There's some Thursday day baseball on tap today, and it's comin' at you two-for-one style instead of the usual sixer. Read all about it, after the jump.

They Might Be Giants @ WKRPs, 11:35 Central: Our leadoff contest is a National League snoozer, which is a bit redundant, but hey. Just kidding San Francisco, even though they've let the SethFuckingSmiths leapfrog them in the standings, has had a pretty impressive season. They sit a dozen over .500 heading into this contest, and they'll send Matt Cain-and-Abel to the hill. He's put together an awesome 12-4 effort and kept the ol' E.R.A. under three, which is rad for a dude that may or may not kill his own brother. His adversary is one Aaron Harang-ya-Harang-ya-went-out-get-a-rope-and-hang-ya. Oh, my God, it's early. A pre-nooner even, for Harang, who's just been unappreciated this season, keeping the earned-run average to a 4.35 but going 6-14 thus far, mostly because his team's offense is awful. How awful? They've scored 14 fewer runs than the Royals, if that's any indication. Anyhoo, DirecTV has the match for you on 721, 722, or have a listen on XM 183.

Former Pilots @ Motown Roy Horn Assailants, 12:05: Couple .500+ clubs, couple .500+ pitchers set to go. I likey. My man Ryan Rowland-Smith gets the tops of innings in a Seattle uniform today, while sheep-fucker Jerrod Washburn goes for the Tigers. Both of these clubs can piss off, for all I care. Stupid Detroit keeps forcing the Royals to stay in last place in the A.L. Central, and it's like the Mariners are in on it too, threatening our general manager to continue taking all of their players. But Detroit has seen Minnesota slide in the Central and Chicago's still heel-nipping, all of two games back. Seattle, meanwhile, has continued to play respectable ball, even though they're 12 games out in the West. It's Rowland-Smith's 2-1/3.60 against Washburn's 8-7/2.95 for our second and last day baseball affair, and you can find it on DirecTV 213, 723, or 724. XM might have it, too. Check channel 176 to be sure.

There you have it, baseball fans. If you head out to the yard, drink some water and put on some sunscreen. That sun's a devil out there.
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Baseball in the Daytime: 9-25-08

We've got a duo of light-free baseball on the docket today, and they might be boring games, but to a couple of fan bases out there in America, these contests mean something. Interested in reading our brief dronings about them? Click, my friend. Click into the other side, the alter-world beyond the jump.

Tampa Bay @ Detroit, 12:05 (Eastern): Scott Kazmir, his 12-7 record, and his playoff-bound Rays face Armando Galarraga (12-6) and the Tigers today at Comerica Park. Yes, the Rays are in. No, they have not yet clinched the AL East. Yes, their chances of doing so against a sputtering Tigers club is nice. While the Ray-trailing Red Sox are three games behind, they could gain some ground by knocking off Cleveland and coupling that with a Tiger win. Boston has the pitching edge (Sowers vs. Lester), and home-field advantage as well. The Rays-Tigers game can be viewed on DirecTV 722 or 723, or heard on XM 179.

Arizona @ St.Louis, 1:15: No, things do not look good for the D'bags, and no the pitching match doesn't offer much hope either as 6-8 Doug Davis faces the 6-7 Joel Pineiro. Yes, the Dodgers have clinched a berth, and yes, Arizona still could, too. No, though; their chances look bleak, as they've dropped to an even .500 record, and are three and-a-half back of LA. Yes, DirecTV has this one (724 & 725), and yes, you may listen to it as well on the XMs, 185 to be exact.

Three games left in this 2008 regular season, folks, which means a mere two more possible days of Baseball in the Daytime. Tune in, for old time's sake.
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Baseball in the Daytime: 9-4-08

Thursday delivers a trio of daytime baseball, and we're pleased to tell you that not a one of the six teams stands a chance of making the playoffs. Okay. Well, the Angels might make it in on a wing, a prayer, and 40 Halos, but nobody's paying attention to west-coast baseball right now. Are they? I mean, aside from the Dodgers, Diamondbacks, and Angels, of course. For the purposes of today, however, the baseballing will take place in middle America, where the humidities of summers have vanished, if only temporarily, into the chills and mists of early September.

Pittsburgh @ Cincinnati, 11:35 (Central): Today's first feature takes us to Great American Ball Park, where the home starter is none other than the 2-7 Josh Fogg. His right arm is slated to battle the left arm of the visiting Tom Gorzelanny and his 6-9 record. These two teams are playing for something not called October baseball, as together they are 48 and-a-half games behind the NL Central leaders. The contest, nevertheless, can be seen on DirecTV 722, and heard on XM 189.

Los Anaheim @ Detroit, 12:05: Our second game takes us to the Motor City, where veteran cockmunch Kenny Rogers dons the home uni for the Tigers, and Ervin Santana gets the nod for the Halos. Rogers hopes to make one more stride towards a .500 season, while Santana seeks win number 15. Catch this one on 723 or 724, DirecTV-style, or listen in on XM's 178.

Oakland @ Kansas City, 4:10: And our final tilt today is part one of a double-header, as yesterday's relentless KC rains continued to fall all through the evening, night, and are actually still falling as I type. Should it let up in time for Dan Meyer and Kyle Davies to take the mound this evening, I'll be surprised, let alone for Dana Eveland and Brian Bannister this afternoon. Either way, both clubs are buried in their respective divisions, Oakland still far from the basement with a nice cushion of Seattle Mariner beneath them.

Those are your day games today, baseball fans. Get out to the park, or tune in for your broadcasts with vigor. Let them players know that no one cares about the Giants or the Redskins.
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Midseason Baseball Report: AL Central

It is not, of course, midseason, unless you're talking about growing pumpkins. With pumpkins you're about halfway between the summer solstice and optimal harvest. But we're not a pumpkin blog, as much as Cecil laments. We talk baseball here.

We typically try to get a little rundown on each division around the All-Star break, but this year's been squirrelly. Our AL Central expert, the dynamic webtastic international superstar Sooze from Babes Love Baseball, and I have battled foreboding work schedules in order to communicate. We actually ended up trading questions via Pony Express, which explains the serious lag time in posting. Them horses was rode hard and put away wet, but what's a little animal abuse when we're discussing the national pastime?

Using that old-timey technology made us pretty out-of-date, like when Andrew Jackson won the Battle of New Orleans after the War of 1812 was already over (never got the e-mail, I guess). Enjoy anyway...

Old No. 7: Generally we begin these breakdowns by focusing on our guest's favorite team. In your case that would be the Minnesota Twins. At the time of this writing your Twins sit a game and a half behind the White Sox, with the Tigers lurking at six and a half out (Editor's Note: That's now one and 8.5, respectively). Many would call your team's record "surprising," but isn't it simply the result of running your franchise well? Similar to how the Oakland A's tend to usually be in the mix with their annual modest payroll?

Sooze: I would agree with that. With today being the trade deadline (Whoops-Ed.), as a Twins fan I never get too excited. They don't go out and buy talent -- especially since the talent they do buy is in the form of aging veterans -- so it's a good thing their farm system is so stacked.

Old No. 7: What's your current assessment of the Johan Santana trade? It netted you Carlos Gomez, who started out great this season but seems a little over-matched these days. Of the three pitchers (Phil Humber, Deolis Guerra and Kevin Mulvey), who seems the closest to helping the big club and who do you think will end up as the best? Do you think you got good long-term value for Santana?

Sooze: I was at first incredibly sad about the Santana trade. I have a crapload of #57 stuff that was pretty hard to look at for a while. Carlos Gomez (I like to call him Go-Go cause dude runs like the wind) really was a pleasant surprise at first, but now it's pretty clear that Denard Span maybe should have won the starting job this Spring. That guy is awesome. Gomez is chock-full of promise and potential though, so I think the Twins got the upper hand in the deal.

As for the three pitchers they received, they're all kind of meh this season. Guerra is pitching down in Single-A and fighting to keep his ERA under 5.00, even with a 10-6 record. Humber is also struggling with the Red Wings, but has the potential to be a decent strikeout pitcher someday. Mulvey? 3-8 with a 3.81 ERA. Ah, young guns. Gotta love 'em.

Old No. 7: You wrote a while back about the controversy surrounding Francisco Liriano's tenure in the minors. Do you think he'll be up soon, and do you think he'll pick up where he left off before his elbow surgery? (Liriano was called up and in his first start back August 9 threw six innings of three-hit shutout baseball-Ed.)

Sooze: I hope Liriano makes it up soon with all my heart. I understand the Twins' dilemma of not knowing what the future holds, who to send down, trade, etc., but something needs to happen before his agent takes desperate measures, like putting a hit on Glen Perkins. I also see the apprehension that may come with remembering his 0-3 record and 11.32 ERA, accumulated over just 10 1/3 innings this April. Franchise (as he was dubbed in '06) is kicking ass down in AAA, though, fanning 113 batters in 118 1/3 innings. The only problem with that is the fact that the minors aren't the big leagues. There is a reason these kids aren't up in the majors, and 90% of that reason is because they pretty much suck at baseball. Translation: not all that challenging.

Old No. 7: What's the status of the rest of your pitching staff? It seems like the no-name rotation is holding together quite nicely and the bullpen has weathered the loss of Pat Neshek. Even HoG favorite Boof Bonser has found a home in the 'pen.

Sooze: Greatest combination of suckiness as of late? Livan Hernandez getting bitch-slapped for four innings, just before Bonser comes in to surrender 3-4 more runs. It seems like the only time Boof even pitches anymore is in a non-save situation or when Minnesota is down eleventeen runs in the sixth. Anyway, if I had to choose someone to let go, it would be Hernandez (Livan was claimed off waivers yesterday by your Colorado Rockies-Ed.). I like the looks of a young rotation, one that could be used for seasons down the road.

Old No. 7: Can this team hit enough in the second half, or might they look at adding a bat before the deadline?

Sooze: Man, they never look. If Terry Mulholland were to come out of retirement today, the Twins would probably give him a contract. And yeah, they can hit. My Canadian Crusher still hits bombs sometimes and Mauer could get on base in his sleep. Also, Nick Punto is totally flirting with .300! No, I am not delusional.

Old No. 7: Are you excited about the new park? I've only spent a little time in Minnesota, and it was in the summer when it was beautiful. How many games do you see being affected by weather and cold each spring?

Sooze: I am SO PUMPED for the new park. I went to U.S. Cellular in June to see the White Sox steamroll the Twins, and it poured all weekend, yet I was still loving every second, simply because the game was played outdoors. But when the time comes to play outdoor baseball in Minnesota, we'll be seeing a lot of make-ups from early-April blizzards. And hopefully October blizzards. too.

Old No. 7: All right, let's take a lap around the Central. The first place White Sox have been resilient--they clobber the baseball, get key outs late in games (and are now getting their closer back) and their starters have been good enough. Do you see them maintaining their success or falling off?

Sooze: I can't answer this question without being completely biased. I hate the White Sox -- making this whole Ken Griffey Jr. being so lovable thing really tough -- so I cannot have the slightest bit of confidence in them. I do, however, love Carlos Quentin.

Old No. 7: After Detroit added a few big-name vets to a loaded roster, many all but handed them the AL pennant back in March. The Tigers were awful this spring but have managed to get themselves back on the radar. They're certainly capable of making a run, do you think it will happen?

Sooze: I called a Detroit Tigers World Series championship this Spring on the Treehouse Fort podcast. Pretty much all season they've made me look like an asshole. I'm glad they're starting to bring it, but no. No ring for Motown, especially now that they've traded Pudge for Farnsworth.

Old No. 7: The other team the pundits forecast greatness for was the Cleveland Indians, who currently reside in the AL Central cellar. They've dealt with injuries, yes, but so has every other club. Is 2008 a one-year aberration, or are Indians fans looking at dark times again?

Sooze: Ah, rebuilding. It seems like it was just a couple seasons ago the Indians were rebuilding. Oh wait, that was a couple of seasons ago. They have some young talent, some hard-hitting vets, and a hell of an ace, but the aliens who abducted the real Cliff Lee will need to put him back eventually. Also, no more C.C.

Old No. 7: Finally, we have an obligation to discuss the Royals--the House of Georges was recently named the 38th best Royals blog on the whole Internets. They've certainly shown improvement in the last three seasons but are a long way from legitimate contention. Tell me this: your Twins have a similar payroll and similar attendance figures to Kansas City, yet you regularly contend and qualify for the playoffs and they do not. You consistently produce guys like Santana, Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau, and bring in quality pieces like Liriano, Gomez and Joe Nathan via trades. What separates your particular brands of small-market baseball?

Sooze: There's something kind of sissy about powder blue unis.

Old No. 7: Sissy? What are you talking about? I'll agree that the new blues are a joke (I hate the dark trim, white pants and black shoes), but come one. Does this look like a sissy to you? Or this? Oh, wait, you're bagging on Kansas City--you're absolutely right. Sissy.

Update: I'm getting a lot of feedback on that photo, and I must point out that it is not of Sooze. That's just some rock star that happens to also be a Twins fan. Sooze, while a Twins fan and a rock star, does not have a beard. I've never met her but I have seen her MySpace page--no beard. So stop asking.

Update No. 2: I forgot to link to the AL West edition, it's here. There's a good chance we'll have midseason reports on the other divisions up by the end of the season. If not check back in the offseason, or perhaps next season.
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Baseball In The Daytime: 5-22-08

It's Thursday, and Thursday is Cecil Day at the HoG. Your intrepid chronicler of vintage wartime propaganda posters and the workout habits of 22-year-old men will check in at some point today to regale you with tales of sporting might. Until then you're stuck with me and my rampant homerism for all things Red Soxy. Sorry!

I'm still a bit hung over from last night's intoxicating debut--the Fat Man is back. B.F. Bartolo Colon took the Fenway mound for the first time as a member of the Olde Towne Team(e?) and...didn't really suck. He hurled five innings of effective work, gave up but a pair of runs, and led the Sox to their sixth straight win. And he was his measty, sweaty, rotund self while doing it--God it's good to have Bartolo back in the big leagues.

Those Red Sox and Royals finish off their series today, and that tilt is joined by two other games on the afternoon docket--enjoy, after the jump...

Seattle @ Detroit, 11:05 Mountain You've heard before about the Old Man, the crotchety curmudgeon that occupies a spot in our fantasy baseball league. Our message board is chock full of his nonsensical rants and awful punctuation, and a few weeks back he unfurled his latest insane theory--that his selection of Miguel Batista in the 22nd round was superior to mine, a kid named Jon Lester. How's that workin' out for ya, Old Man? Batista makes a start today against Jeremy Bonderman and the woeful Tigers, and if he throws a no-hitter I'll take it all back. I'm not expecting to take any of it back.

Texas @ Minnesota, 11:10 Continuing our theme of once-nasty pitchers who are now just holding on to their paychecks, this contest gives us Vincente Padilla versus Livan Hernandez. Padilla I'll always remember as the final pitcher in the infamous tied All-Star Game. That's right, Vincente Padilla was once an All-Star! And as for Livan, my lasting recollection of him will forever be the NLCS contest back in 1997 when Eric Gregg gave him a strike zone wider than, well, Eric Gregg. He struck out 15 on that night against the Braves, but at least half of those Ks were on pitches that barely made it inside the batter's box, much less to the black of the plate. I hope Livan sent Gregg a share of his playoff loot.

Kansas City @ Boston, 11:35 The Royals attempt to avoid getting swept (why do I feel like I've written that sentence a few times in the past?) today at Fenway. They send Brian Bannister to the hill, which is a shrewd move. You see, Bannister is a mortal pitcher at night (0-5, 8.13 ERA). But let him out for a little Baseball In The Daytime, and you get a superhuman pitching wolverine with jet-pack turboboosters and laser-beam eye sockets (4-0, 0.62). Joe Posnanski, who's developed an affinity for Bannister that borders on how Michael Jackson feels about fourth-graders, documents every start with his BannyLog. If anyone can get to the bottom of these crazy day-night splits, it's JoePo.

For even more insightful KC-Boston dissection, look no further than this very web site, the occasional home of the absolutely indispensable Roy F. Almania. Roy took us inside Tuesday's matchup, particularly Billy Butler's pivotal at-bat against Jonathan Papelbon. Now during last night's game, NESN's Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy pored over this same at-bat, pointing out the fact that Pap went to a slide piece to finish off Butler--and apparently he never throws that pitch in that situation. It's nice to know that the homespun wisdom of ol' Roy can occasionally trump the city-slicker hot air of the mainstream press. That's baseball--the people's game. Play Ball! Read more

Baseball In The Daytime: Patriots' Day Breakfast Special

Of all the days contained in a baseball season, the finest are ones that promise day games. And of all those days, the absolute pinnacle is today. It's Patriots' Day, folks, and so if you live in Massachusetts or Maine you're off work today.

Actually, if you live in New England you've been drinking since sunrise and have probably already punched a cop, thus you'll be missing BITD this morning. Unless your holding cell has StubNets access.

On this day that we remember the Battle of Lexington and Concord, the Boston Marathon is scheduled to snake through the streets of the old colonial hub. The Red Sox are always home as well, and to accommodate the race they schedule the first pitch at 11:05 Eastern, 9:05 Mountain. On the West Coast I think the game is already in the sixth, please don't spoil it by telling me the score.

Fun side note: we almost started Baseball In The Daytime on Patriots' Day last year, but we, um, didn't.

I geared up for today's pseudo-holiday by diving into HBO's John Adams miniseries, which concluded last night but I just started watching on the TiVo. Excellent. The wife and I made it through the second episode, in which the Battle of Lexington and Concord takes place, so I feel good and historied up to drink a bunch of Sam Adams at work and not answer the phone. Stay tuned after the jump for more fun Red Sox homerism, U.S. history and...a game in Canadia? Oh fuck that...

Texas @ Boston, 9:05 The morning contest at Fenway features a pair of products of the Red Sox farm system. Clay Buchholz is the rail-thin righty who raised expectations to unreachable heights with a no-hitter last autumn. Kason Gabbard was a serviceable lefty who carried a 3.86 ERA with the big club last year before Theo Epstein shipped him off in the Eric Gagne deal. Whoops. The Sox are white-charcoal-hot right now, after a 5-1 week that saw them win four games that they trailed after seven innings, including a comeback from 5-0 down yesterday.

My favorite part was the lineup jitterbug that took place after Manny Ramirez got ejected for arguing balls and strikes in the second. Some farmhand played left for a while, and then Francona inserted rookie phenom Jed Lowrie as a pinch-hitter during the eighth inning rally. This forced shortstop Julio Lugo to left field defensively in the ninth, and the final popout was snagged by Lowrie directly in front of Lugo, who looked annoyed at the kid. It's a metaphor, Julio--he's literally taking your job right in front of your eyes.

Detroit @ Toronto, 10:37 God damn Canada bugs me. You still start your games at 10:37, for no fucking reason other than to be difficult. At least you dumped Frank Thomas, he's horrible. The only way the Blue Jays can redeem themselves in my eyes is to acquire Barry Lamar Bonds as their new DH. Today the home team starts Shawn Marcum against Armando Gallaragga of the Tigers.

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