And the Last Royal Standing from the Infamous Carlos Beltran Trade Is...

...Johnathan Richard Buck.

There was actually a sort of x-factor in Octavio Dotel, who was sent to Oakland from Houston, but then became a Yankee before becoming a Royal, then a Brave, and finally a White Stocking. Mike Wood's been out of baseball for two years. Beltran of course went to Houston, and has been a Met ever since his partial season as an Astro. This left Buck and Mark Teahen, who, as of today, joins Dotel in the Windy City. As not mentioned in the story, Kansas City acquires Josh Fields and Chris Getz from Chicago.

Last but not least, it will be interesting to see if Johnny B's still on the roster come April, as Miguel Olivo's got a better arm from behind home, and the Royals, as they should be, are fond of Brayan Pena's bat. What, then, did the Beltran trade mean for Kansas City in the long run? Answer, as you are so inclined to do, in the comments.
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Baseball In The Daytime: 30 September 2009

Welcome, boys and girls, to the very last Baseball In The Daytime of September. Tomorrow we hit the month that Reggie Jackson made famous, the month that includes the playoffs--unless of course the World Series goes longer than five games.

Today we're starting off with the front ends of two doubleheaders necessitated by rainouts, and then wrapping up the day slate with a Mets-Nats tilt from DC. Every single team playing today has been eliminated from postseason consideration, these games are beneath meaning. Not even degenerate gamblers or fantasy geeks care--if you're betting on games involving the Pirates, Cubs, White Sox, Indians, Mets or Nats, you're probably also living under a bridge. And if your fantasy team contains players from any of those teams, your season is most likely done.

But hey, let's celebrate the pastime anyway! Joyous previews and sunshiney trivia after the jump!

Pittsburgh @ Chicago Cubs, 12:05 Mountain At least the Pirates are still trying--they took three of four from the Dodgers over the weekend to delay LA's not-quite-inevitable division championship a few days. In the final game of that series Monday, Zach Duke took an 11-0 shutout into the ninth. He yielded a run in that frame, yet one out away from a complete game blowout manager John Russell yanked him.

Look, we keep tabs on the Kansas City Royals in this space, so we know a little something about bad baseball teams and thickheaded management making not-smart decisions. But these Pirates--wow. Just wow. Charlie Morton gets the nod from Russell today opposite Ted Lilly.

Chicago White Sox @ Cleveland. 2:05 The other Windy City failure sets up shop next to Lake Erie this afternoon, as some kid who goes by the name of Carlos Torres dons the uniform of Eddie Cicotte and Horacio Ramirez. Will Torres throw the World Series and/or post a WHIP of 2.50? You'll have to watch to find out, as he battles Fausto Carmona in front of several dozen fans.

Los Mets @ Washington, 2:35 Tim Redding and John Lannan pitch, you decide. That's my little Fox News intro for this game. Take care, folks, we'll see you during Rocktober!
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Baseball In The Daytime: 19 August 2009

Our lone matinee in baseball today happens to feature the House of Georges' favorite bad ballclub. So come with me, ladies and gentlemens, to the bucolic South Side of Chicago, where our beloved Royals attempt to either win a Major League baseball game or advance one step closer to drafting Bryce Harper. It's a win-win, really, after the jump...

Kansas City @ Chicago White Sox, 12:05 Mountain This game at U.S. Cellular Field features starting pitchers Zack Greinke and Jose Contreras. Contreras is a washed-up old Cuban forkballer who spent a chunk of the season in Triple-A because he gets torched regularly. Greinke has been one of the AL's best pitchers this season, but let's examine exactly how good.

Greinke's record stands at 11-7, but that's much more a function of the jersey he wears than his pitching ability. His teammates have given him just 4.71 runs of support per start, lowest in the AL among pitchers who've thrown 100+ innings. In his last start Friday against the Tigers, he went seven strong and allowed one run as the Royals went down 1-0. It was the fourth time KC has been shut out in Greinke's starts this season and the second time he's lost 1-0. In those four shutout losses he's tallied 28 innings and yielded four earned runs.

For the year Grienke's ERA of 2.33 leads the league, as do his 20 quality starts. He's third in strikeouts (174) and strikeouts per 9 innings (9.41) behind Justin Verlander and Jon Lester, and seventh in innings pitched at 166 2/3. Could Greinke possibly capture the Cy Young on a last-place club?

It's happened before, in 1972, when Steve Carlton went 27-10 for a Phillies team that won only 59 games total. Greinke is nowhere near Lefty's year, which was among the best ever--Carlton notched 30 complete games, struck out 310, had a 1.97 era and a 15-game winning streak. The young Royal ace is helped by a relatively weak AL field, however, and has an outside shot at the Cy.

The leaders at this point are probably Verlander and Roy Halladay, with the Red Sox duo of Lester and Josh Beckett likely to draw votes as well. Verlander is 13-6 with a 3.28 ERA, 194 strikeouts and a 1.16 WHIP in '09, while Halladay's gone 13-5/2.65/144/1.08. Verlander will get credit for his status as the ace of a probable division winner, which he should. But If Verlander fades, there is no reason for Halladay to receive the award ahead of Greinke when the Royal has significantly better numbers. Stank already lost the starting gig in the All-Star game to Doc because of reputation alone, if he were denied a Cy Young for the same reason it would be a crime.

As for the rest of the Royals, someone has finally crystallized what the remainder of the season is all about--megaphenom Bryce Harper and the No. 1 pick in 2010. Bleacher Report has taken up the task of following the race for the bottom, which currently has the Nats in the lead. KC has closed to within four games, so there's opportunity in these last six weeks to catch up (or down, whatever). And if you're a Royals fan who, like our very own Banky, can't stomach wishing for failure, just pull for the Nats--except today, when the play the Rockies. Just lose, baby, and Play Ball!
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Baseball In The Daytime: July 24 2009

As is often the case on Fridays, we've got Chicagocentric baseball during our daytime. In a rare twist, it's not just the Baby Bears but the Pale Hose making an appearance--and fresh off a perfect game to boot! Mark Buehrle became the 18th man in the history of the sport yesterday to go 27 up, 27 down. No-hitters are pretty hard themselves, but that's happened 262 times. Dime a dozen. Hell, all Nolan Ryan ever did was throw wild pitches for 23 years, and he ended up with seven of them.

So head with us to the breezy Second City, where the Nationals host the Redlegs and the tavern televisions will show the Americans battling the Motor City Kitties...

White Sox @ Detroit, 11:05 Mountain If you're in the market for a few more fun facts about Buehrle's feat, disco. If you're not, you've come to the wrong Otter Pop stand, fella. Buehrle chucked a garden-variety no-hitter back on April 18, 2007. The same umpire, Eric Cooper, was behind home plate for both yesterday's no-no and the '07 game. Both games took two hours and three minutes to elapse. But my favorite piece of data about Buehrle's perfection concerns his catcher.

Ramon Castro called balls and strikes yesterday at U.S. Cellular, and earned himself a spot in the record books. Why is this notable? Because Ramon Castro had never caught Buehrle before. Pitcher and catcher were completely unfamiliar with one another, yet somehow they kept the team with the third-best on-base percentage in baseball from, you know, getting on base.

Best of all, Castro has been with the White Sox for less than two months, after spending the last five years with the Mets. Those Mets have never had a no-hitter in their entire history, dating back to 1962, and Castro snares one in his first turn catching Mark Buehrle. Crazy game. Today the White Sox send Jose Contreras into the Tigers' den at Comerica Field to tussle with Justin Verlander--who also threw a no-hitter in 2007.

Cincinnati @ Chicago Cubs, 12:20 Not nearly as much interesting trivia is circulating around Wrigley today. The Cubs last saw a no-hitter from one of their pitchers on September 2, 1972, when Milt Pappas turned the trick. Is that the same Milt Pappas once traded for Frank Robinson, you ask, in one of the worst MLB deals ever that did not involve Dayton Moore? One and the same. Today young Randy Wells (no relation to David Wells, who threw a perfect game for the Yanks in 1998) starts opposite Aaron Harang (who tries to replicate Tom Browning's '88 perfecto for the Reds). Remember, boys, if you allow even one baserunner you're an abject failure, now go Play Ball!
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Baseball in the Daytime: Hot Diggety Dog

Apparently, there was a hot dog eating contest over the weekend, and apparently, some guy not named Kobayashi -- Joey Chestnut downed 68 for his second consecutive title and a world record -- won the thing. Now, I kind of loathe the phrase "only in America," but this is one event where I would make the exception. I find this contest absolutely disgusting, but I sure do love me some hot dogs. Had one on Sunday, even. Right after I took one for the team and took the most burnt bratwurst on the tray. Seems as though, what with Memorial Day, graduations, and Fourth of July, I've had quite a few dogs lately. In fact, my sister-in-law and I were talking about this last evening. One day last week, she had three dogs in three different settings in a 24-hour period. And apparently, she could've squeezed down another. She, uh, has this way with words, shall I say. She summed the experience by saying, "Three weiners in one day. Who'd've thunk it?" Approximately seven minutes later, over by the display of M&Ms and mixed nuts, she, downing a mouthful said, "Mmm. Chocolate nuts."

But baseball. Baseball. I've noticed a pattern. In yesterday's day baseball affair (link, cough), there were a bunch of National League day games, whereas in today's there're three American League and one N.L. tilt to wrap things up. Come with me, over the jump, and find out all about it.

Toronto @ Tampa Bay, 11:08 Central: It's Roy Halladay as the visitor in today's first contest. He faces David Price and the Bay Rays in a battle of wits and sliders. Halladay's 10-win first half, coupled with his below-three E.R.A. has been incredible. Price will have his work cut out for him as he comes in at 2-3 with a plus-five. Lucky for he and the Tampa crew, they have a four and-a-half game lead over the Jays in the A.L. East, which is surprising, considering some of the flash Toronto has, on occasion, shown this year. They lock up on DirecTV 721, XM 176.

New York @ Minnesota, 12:10: Precisely one hour and two minutes later, Alfredo Aceves will battle with Glen Perkins. Except that he won't; the Twinkie on the hill will actually be Francisco Liriano. Perkins, apparently, is ill and will go tomorrow instead. But anyway, Liriano comes with a 4-8 record, a 5.49 E.R.A., is fully loaded and available for 1.9 percent financing. Aceves, on the other hand, has strung together a quiet 5-1 record with a 2.03 E.R.A., from the 'pen. The pinstripe front office was going to give him the nod two weeks ago when CC Sabathia's chances of starting looked shaky. Today he's a definite go in place of Chien-Ming Wang, who's 2009 has looked shaky. They'll hate on one another on DirecTV 722 and 723, or over on XM 177.

Cleveland @ Chicago, 1:05: Matchup number three is a duel of southpaws as David Huff faces Clayton Richard and the White Stockings. Each hurler has one fewer loss than wins, and E.R.A.s they'd like to whittle down a bit. I keep expecting Cleveland to get their act together and get out of the A.L. Central, but when you lose eight of your last 10, that's hard to do. Chicago, conversely, has done the opposite. Watch these jerks play baseball on DirecTV 724, 725, or listen to their jerkiness on XM 178.

St. Louis @ Milwaukee, 1:05: For the league of hitting pitchers, it's right-hander Joel Pineiro against lefty Manny Parra. Though the Cardinal's record (6-9) doesn't speak volumes about his season, his 3.39 E.R.A. tells a bit more of the story. Another missing piece is that he's gotten very little run support in his appearances thus far. Parra, on the other hand, will make his first start in a month for the Brew Crew. After early-season struggles, he was sent down, where he wasn't all that much better. Either way, he takes the mound in the bottoms of the innings today at Miller Park. Don't believe me? Check DirecTV 726 or 727, or listen for his name on XM 183.

That's your slab today, folks. Enjoy some baseball, and hell, have a hot dog for lunch while you're at it.
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Baseball In The Daytime: June 17 2009

On the day after we discover that Sammy Sosa's stats might not have been on the level, BITD makes the trek to Wrigley anyway. The show must go on.

What are you going to say about Sammy? We all knew it. The saddest part to me was how much of a freak he turned himself into. McGwire was never much of a baseball player to begin with, bulking up did nothing to his game other than add to his already prodigious power. Barry and Canseco maintained some degree of outfield athleticism and baserunning ability after their chemistry experiments.

Sammy, though, that was just pathetic. A guy who once covered a lot of ground in the outfield, who once stole a lot of bases, who once was a complete player...became a sideshow. He had no lateral movement, no quickness, no ability to do anything on the field other than hit home runs. And when that went--poof. Sammy was gone. Sammy could get by OK at the Friendly Confines, but when he was asked to patrol the massive expanse of grass at Coors it was embarrassing, singles quickly becoming triples.

Try to get some good wood on the ball, after the jump...

Chicago White Sox @ Chicago Cubs, 12:20 Mountain I was listening to the Indians-Brewers game on the XM Radio Monday night, and the Cleveland crew was talking about how this weekend's interleague series between the Tribe and the Cubs was going to be comprised entirely of day games. They were flabbergasted by this notion. You, savvy reader of Baseball In The daytime, would not make such a fool of yourself on a national broadcast. Around here, we know that the Cubs play a lot of day games. We sit in the bleachers, we drink Old Style, we casually fondle strange girls in red tank tops. Whoa, who said that? Bad form, dude. Today look for John Danks to bring the kind for the Chicago Americans, while wily Canadian Ryan Dempster deals for the Nationals.

Los Anaheim @ San Francisco, 1:45 Matt Palmer is your starting pitcher for the perennial AL West champion Angels. Coming into the '09 season, Matt Palmer might have been 36th on the depth chart for such an assignment, but since the Halos have had about 35 starters hit the DL, Matt Palmer's your man. He draws reigning NL Cy Young winner Time Lincecum at Some Telecom Field today, and we don't listen to that. Play Ball!
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Baseball In The Daytime: May 18 2009

We've reached another milestone in the long slog that is baseball season: Reacharound Monday. Does this mean you can request that your comely coworker in the next cubicle bend an arm around your waist for a quick tug during coffee break? Um, you can ask, but the scuttlebutt around the water cooler is that he's not that into you.

No, the reacharound occurs when a weekend series lingers, like a houseguest who was scheduled to depart Sunday yet is still there Monday reading your newspaper. Nothing wrong with that, just save me the sports section. We've got a surprise first-place club versus an also-ran on tap, so follow the jump to the particulars...

Chicago White Sox @ Toronto, 11:07 Mountain It would be customary in this spot to rip the BJ's for posting that ridiculous seven-past-the-hour start time, but I'm going to take it easy on our Canadian neighbors today. The boys in Blue Jay are top dogs in the hypercompetitive AL East, after all. They're pitching, and they're hitting, and Cito Gaston is a bigger retro-hit than the remanufactured Chevy Camaro.

Meanwhile, on the South Side of Chicago, President Obama's favorite baseball team is looking up at the Royals. Today they enlist 25-year-old lefty Clayton Richard in the hopes of starting a hot streak, while the BJ's go with 4-2 Scott Richmond. Keep in on the black, fellas, and Play Ball!
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Baseball In The Daytime: May 13, 2009

This week may have the lightest MLB schedule of any all year, outside April at least. Only four games were played Monday, and six teams have the day off tomorrow. The Oakland Athletics, as a matter of fact, have two off days this week, which is just nuts. Get back to work, you white-shoed sloths.

It's appropriate that our day game schedule debuts in the American League Central, because I'm forming a nebulous opinion that it's the best division in baseball. Not the one with the most good teams, mind you--both Eastern gaggles have more firepower. I just think the AL Central is fascinating in the fact that here, a month and a half into the season, we have no idea how it will shape up.

Will the Indians continue to give up the most runs in baseball? I say no. Will the White Sox keep on getting nothing from the top of the lineup and puny HR totals? Barring a big trade, yes and maybe. Will the Twins sort out their pitching calamities and jumbled outfield? Magic eight-ball says it is likely. And will Detroit fall out of the race and conduct a fire sale the likes of the sport hasn't seen since the late-90s Marlins? Considering the fact that they're starting ex-Marlin Dontrelle Willis today, fellow former Fish Miguel Cabrera makes eleventy billion dollars and the GM (Dave Dombrowski) and manager (Jim Leyland) both matriculated in South Florida, I'd say bet the farm on that shopping bonanza.

The most compelling drama in the division, of course, continues to radiate from Kansas City. Those adorable, scrappy Royals still have their head above water, even after Dayton Moore performed a Ponsonectomy and called up Triple-A superstar Luke Hochevar for last night's game against those lazy A's. The result? Two innings, eight earned for young Luke, who was followed by newly minted long-relief ace Sir Sidney. Whoops! This team has the parts necessary to keep up the fight, they simply need to sustain their effort and get better production from the bottoms of the order and rotation. Oh, and hide Kyle Farnsworth in a closet.

Your schedule, after the jump...

Chicago White Sox @ Cleveland, 10:05 Mountain Jim Thome has spent most of his career on these two clubs, and that's why I'm like fuck the Denver Post. The Mile High City's lone daily used the Manny Ramirez suspension to lower journalistic standards even further last week. The Post ran a graphic underneath the Manny story showing the five most prolific active home-run hitters: Manny, A-Rod, Gary Sheffield, Thome and Ken Griffey. It placed the former three under the banner of "TAINTED," while Thome and Griff were labeled "CLEAN." I am so sick of this bullshit I could punch a cat. Not only is the evidence linking any of these guys to actual steroids suspicious (I'm not naive, I know they're dirty, but come on), but you can't say anyone who played baseball prior to 2004 is "clean." You just can't. maybe Griff and Thome were all natural, but the odds that they never dabbled, not even once, are slim. Too slim to say they are, without a sliver of doubt, "clean."

Mark Buehrle, who has stopped beating his wife, faces off against Cliff Lee, who may or may not have checked into drug rehab, in this battle of crafty lefties. Or so reads the Denver Post.

Atlanta @ NY Mets, 11:10 There's potential for more lefty-on-lefty violence this afternoon at the stadium you the federal taxpayer sponsor, Citi Field. I would have called it U.S. Postal Service Stadium at Sea Level or Mesa Verde National Park Park. But that's just me. Jo-Jo Reyes matches southpaw deliveries with Jonathan Niese, in quite possibly baseball's first Jo-Jo/Jonathan showdown.

Washington @ San Francisco, 1:45 I can not figure out Shairon Martis. I saw him as evidence coming into the season that the Nats would be really awful, because he's like their No. 2 starter and he sucks bad. But here we are--Washington has 10 wins, worst in the game, yet Martis is 4-0. I don't have a calculator in front of me but that's like 38.2 per cent of their total. It just goes to show you, if you don't Shairon, you'd better know somebody. Or something. Barry Zito starts for the Giants and will attempt to squelch Ryan Zimmerman's 30-game hit streak. Play Ball, fellas!
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Baseball in the Daytime: 4-14-09

Here's your test: Count how many baseballs are in the infielder's hand, and you'll then know the number of ball games you can tune into while at work. Fun, right? Details, a click away.

Chicago @ Detroit, 12:05 Central: Lefty John Danks and righty Rick Porcello compare wind-ups and stretches in today's lone mid-day affair. As mentioned yesterday, this series is important for the sake of division-rival standings and smack talk. Hopefully for the Tigers, Porcello is looking forward to rebounding from his first outing in which a pair of long balls gave him the loss. Maybe he's feeling lucky, as the Stockings likely got their yard out of the way yesterday. In a 10-run effort on Monday, Jermaine Dye and Paul Konerko both hit jacks number 300, while Carlos Quentin stroked a pair. Today's White Sox feed is on DirecTV 721. Catch the Tigers' on 722, or listen in on XM 176.

That's it for today. Tune in tomorrow when a unicycle-riding sea lion gives you the forecast.
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Baseball in the Daytime: 4-7-09

The second day of this 2009 baseball season only had one contest penciled in on the original docket, but due to a big barrel full of professional-athlete pussies inclement weather, a couple of yesterday's games had to get shoved forward, which I'm guessing means that the teams involved will play on Thursday instead of having an off day. Remember that one time when the NHL cancelled it's New Year's Day game at Ralph Wilson Stadium, 'cause it was too brisk? Or how about the countless times you settled in for a Sunday afternoon of football, only to discover that the games were postponed due to sudden flurries.

Gimme a break. Put on your Under Armor and play ball, already. Today's threesome, however, one click away.

Kansas City @ Chicago, 1:05 Central: Yesterday's scheduled tilt is back on the books, folks, and it promises to be two things: cold, and maybe full of good starting pitching. Gil Meche gets the nod for the Royals; it's Mark Buehrle for the Stockings. Neither of the satellite guides have the game down on their schedule, but if you're in the KC metro area, your tube should have it on FSKC, while your box can bring you the calls via 610 AM.

Tampa Bay @ Boston, 3:05: Yesterday's other "PPD" match has James Shields and Josh Beckett geared to go. You're on your own as to where to find that one.

Milwaukee at San Francisco, 3:05: On the other side of the country, it'll be Jeff Suppan and Tim Lincecum grappling in this battle of non-lefties. Suppan continues to plug along in his career and garner relative success wherever he winds up. He went 10-10 as a Brewer last year; 12-12, and 12-7 the previous two seasons in St. Louis. The home-team Giants know that they have a dynamo in Lincecum, and hope that he'll manage to keep another low E.R.A. this year, like his 2.62 of 2008. XM has this one for ya's. It's on 183.

See there? Easy as pie. Now enjoy. That's an order.
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Baseball In The Daytime: 10-2-08, The Dawn Of The Bay-Ray Century

What if, dear reader, we look back upon today as the start of something entirely new? The onset of a fresh vision in baseball, an era in which all of the old truths become false--black is white, up is down. All of the traditional powers stink--goodbye Yankees, Red Sox, Cardinals, hello Pirates, Royals, Reds. And hello Tampa, the vanguard of this movement.

Today, for the first time in the shit history of the franchise, the Bay-Rays will participate in a playoff game. The team is stocked full of all sorts of fun baseball goodies. They have deep starting pitching, a lights-out bullpen, first-round phenoms at almost every position hitting their collective strides simultaneously. They are young and they are cheap. It's baseball's perfect storm.

I don't know what they'll do this year--baseball is the hardest sport to project because postseason experience has become meaningless. The '02 Angels, the '05 White Sox, both Marlins champs, none of these teams had that core of vets that had been there. Last year's Colorado club was fresh out of baseball kindergarten yet made the Series. Can Tampa run the table this year? Why not?

I only wonder what happens to this team down the road. Can they keep it together? Will they spend money? Will their fair-weather fans put down the meth pipe and attend games? If so, the Bay-Rays are in the midst of a window of opportunity. Take advantage, man. Today's matinee games, after the jump...

Chicago @ Tampa, Game 1, 12:30 Mountain After their roller-coaster week, in which they had to play back-to-back one-game eliminators to qualify, the White Sox hand the bal to Javier Vazquez at the Trop. James Shields represents the home team, as Manager of the Millennium Joe Maddon matches wits with certified psychopath Ozzie Guillen. Don't miss the action on TBS, home of FrankTV.

Milwaukee @ Philadelphia, Game 2, 4:00 The Phils took Game 1 3-1 as actually fuck this--did you see that Cubs game? Holy Christ. Now they send Big Z up against the Dodgers' best pitcher in a must win Game 2 at Wrigley? Wow. If we have to discuss the Brewers game, here's C.C. Sabathia against Brett Myers. One is deserving of the Cy Young for half a season's work, the other beats his wife on the streets of Boston. Don't leave any bruises, and Play Ball!
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Baseball in the Daytime: 9-9-08

One might be the loneliest number, but it's always nicer when it comes in pairs, whatever that means. Major League standings today contain the Red Stockings of Boston one-half game behind the losers-of-four-consecutive Bay Rays. Los Anaheim is still on cruise control in the West, while the Twins and White Sox keep it interesting in the Central. In the NL, the Cubs have kept Milwaukee at a distance of four and-a-half games, the Mets have a narrow edge over Philly, and the Dodgers have managed to stake a one and-a-half game over Arizona. Details on today's lone sunny contest, after the jump.

Toronto @ Chicago, 1:05 (Central): We've got a battle of right-handed hurlers in our lone match of day baseball today, and it features Jays ace A.J. Burnett and Javier Vasquez for the Sox of white. Burnett brings his 16 victories to U.S. Cellular Feild for the firs half of a double header, while Vasquez looks to bring his record to .500, and increase the two and-a-half game lead Chicago holds over Minnesota. Both hurlers were on the verge of no-hitters halfway through their previous outings; Toronto was able to hold on for the win, and those same Jays have won eight straight, hoping for a miracle of a wildcard berth. Your DirecTV feeds can be found on 734 and 735, while XM said no thanks to carrying this one. The pitching matchup for the second contest features Jesse Litsch and Clayton Richards, and gets underway right around 7:11.

That's all she wrote for today, folks. Now get out there and cheer for the non-Canadian club, American style.
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Baseball In The Daytime: 8-27-08

A trio of day games are perched on today's MLB slate, but the bigger news is out of the bag: Instant replay starts tomorrow. That's right, tomorrow. Not at the start of next year. Not with a trial period in Double-A or the Instructional League. Today's games will be the last wholly governed by humans, and tomorrow we deputize the machines for assistance.

Look, I'm not anti-replay. I like technology. Like Reggie White once said, give the Japanese a toaster and they'll give you a watch. And I like getting calls right, and I hate dismissing good ideas in the name of asinine traditions. But who, other than the Clinton wing of the Democratic Party, tries to change rules in the middle of a season? How is that possibly a good idea? How is it that umpires, who don't like this adjustment and who weren't consulted in its implementation, will manage replay with any sort of skill on the fly? How will they not botch more calls now than with the old system?

I predict that this season is fucked on this front. This will affect the pennant race and this will affect the playoffs. At this point I don't know the specifics of this change--once I get filled in I'm sure I'll have many more thoughts. But for now, Bud, this overreaction gets a fat thumbs down from this fan. On to the games...

Chicago Cubs @ Pittsburgh, 10:35 Mountain I don't know what the weather's going to be like in the Steel City today, but let's assume the forecast calls for glorious. If you're in Western PA, you can make your way downtown and to PNC Park to take in a matinee against the first-place Cubs. You can shell out twenty bucks (what the average Pittsburgher clears in a week) for a seat and twenty more for some peanuts, Cracker Jack and a brew. You can sit in the sunshine and watch the game languidly unfold before you. And then you can realize that you are in Pittsburgh and you have more than a fourth grade education, and you can get the fuck out of there before the dumb and the fat infect you. Jason Marquis and Zach Duke are your starters.

Arizona @ San Diego, 1:35 On the other hand, if you live in San Diego, you can fuck off. Seriously. No one likes you. D'Bags starter Randy Johnson doesn't like you, although he's pretty grouchy with everyone. Padres pitcher Cha Seung Baek doesn't like you--he'll only live in your fair city for a few more weeks before being shipped to yet another club. I don't like you. Brian Giles likes you, but only because he's so enthralled by your beautiful city he refuses to play anywhere else. Go to hell, San Diego.

Minnesota @ Seattle, 2:40 The AL Central has just turned into a God damned dogfight. Daily hand-to-hand combat. With Detroit's complete implosion, only the Twins and the White Sox are left standing, and Chicago's fine play of late leaves them two games free as of press time. Minnesota tries to stay close with Glen Perkins on the Safeco mound today opposite Ryan Feierabend. Seattle is still playing hard, for one reason and one reason only. They're on pace to be the first team ever to lose 100 games with a payroll in excess of $100 million. You can do it, Mariners. 82 down, 18 to go. Stay strong and resolute in your commitment to losing, and Play Ball!
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Baseball In The Daytime: 8-20-08

I know the Dodgers don't play this afternoon--they're scheduled to face the Rockies tonight at Chavez Ravine. I still want to use this space to bash Jeff Kent.

Jeff Kent is one of the finest second basemen ever to play this game. Go ahead, look up his numbers. Few at his position have ever hit like he has. Unfortunately, Jeff Kent is also a huge giant piece of shit as a person. This goes far beyond his moustache, which is actually pretty awesome. No, Kent's doucheness is acute and long-lasting. It's pretty hard to have a feud with Barry Bonds and have folks take Barry's side, but that's Jeff Kent. Bigger fuckstick than Barry Bonds.

Jeff Kent once wrecked his motorcycle in the offseason, which is a bad enough deal for a ballplayer. The bigger problem was that Kent had recently signed an enormous contract, a contract that specifically forbade him from riding motorcycles. Faced with the prospect of voiding the contract and losing millions, Kent did what any dipshit asshole would do, he lied and said he broke his leg whilst washing his truck. Which is totally probable. Jeff Kent does not like it when I go to games and yell at him, asking him how clean his truck is. But fuck him.

I could go on and on about how shitty a teammate Jeff Kent is, how he has singlehandedly tried to ruin the impressive youth movement the Dodgers are in the midst of, how he got Grady Little fired (actually a plus), and how in his spare time he adopts cats and then drowns them in his hot tub. I'll let that go, because that moustache is pretty awesome.

But this I can't let stand. Now Jeff Kent has committed an even greater sin upon the dignity of the game of baseball. Since the Dodgers acquired Manny Ramirez, merely one of the 20 best hitters ever to hold a bat, Kent has been killing it. One could draw the logical conclusion that Kent, hitting in the prime spot directly in front of Manny, is seeing great pitches and capitalizing on them. No way, says Jeff Kent. Totally unrelated, fuck you and fuck Manny. Or something to that effect. Which is all fine, because everyone knows Jeff Kent is a world class dick. Not content with that, Kent went on and impugned the integrity of Vin Scully, who discussed the connection of Kent's hot streak to Manny's arrival on air.

Jeff Kent criticized Saint Vincent. This can not stand. I've never asked anything of Dodger fans, a species that is below earwigs in my book. But tonight, I implore you, let Jeff Kent have it. With twenty thousand voices, ask him how clean his truck is. Boo his sorry ass. And while I never condone such actions, if someone throws a battery at him I'll smile, on the inside. Don't let us down, Humberto.

Oakland @ Minnesota, 11:10 Mountain While the Twins try to hang with the White Sox in the race for the AL Central flag, the A's are on cruise control to nowhere. You mean trading away our three best pitchers is a bad thing? Shit! Left behind after the purge in Oakland is young Dallas Braden, who'll match wits with Fransico Liriano at the Hube.

Seattle @ Chicago White Sox, 12:05 In another matchup pitting Central contender vs. Western loser, the Mariners take on the Pale Hose at U.S. Cellular. Somehow this season R.A. Dickey made his way from the Rangers to the M's, I'll go ahead and say that's the least important trade of the year. R.A. starts for Seattle, while Gavin Floyd takes the ball for the home team.

Houston @ Milwaukee, 12:05 The Astros have been hot lately, and in fact were the focus of a section-front story in USA Today yesterday concerning their playoff hopes. Playoffs? Cecil hates it when I cite McPaper, but I'll always counter that the multicolored fishwrap is no less accurate than the New York Times. On a dissimilar note, how does a grown man end up with the name Wandy? That's the handle of Houston starter Wandy Rodriguez, who today battles Manny Parra and the Brewers. Play Ball!
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Midseason Baseball Report: AL Central

It is not, of course, midseason, unless you're talking about growing pumpkins. With pumpkins you're about halfway between the summer solstice and optimal harvest. But we're not a pumpkin blog, as much as Cecil laments. We talk baseball here.

We typically try to get a little rundown on each division around the All-Star break, but this year's been squirrelly. Our AL Central expert, the dynamic webtastic international superstar Sooze from Babes Love Baseball, and I have battled foreboding work schedules in order to communicate. We actually ended up trading questions via Pony Express, which explains the serious lag time in posting. Them horses was rode hard and put away wet, but what's a little animal abuse when we're discussing the national pastime?

Using that old-timey technology made us pretty out-of-date, like when Andrew Jackson won the Battle of New Orleans after the War of 1812 was already over (never got the e-mail, I guess). Enjoy anyway...

Old No. 7: Generally we begin these breakdowns by focusing on our guest's favorite team. In your case that would be the Minnesota Twins. At the time of this writing your Twins sit a game and a half behind the White Sox, with the Tigers lurking at six and a half out (Editor's Note: That's now one and 8.5, respectively). Many would call your team's record "surprising," but isn't it simply the result of running your franchise well? Similar to how the Oakland A's tend to usually be in the mix with their annual modest payroll?

Sooze: I would agree with that. With today being the trade deadline (Whoops-Ed.), as a Twins fan I never get too excited. They don't go out and buy talent -- especially since the talent they do buy is in the form of aging veterans -- so it's a good thing their farm system is so stacked.

Old No. 7: What's your current assessment of the Johan Santana trade? It netted you Carlos Gomez, who started out great this season but seems a little over-matched these days. Of the three pitchers (Phil Humber, Deolis Guerra and Kevin Mulvey), who seems the closest to helping the big club and who do you think will end up as the best? Do you think you got good long-term value for Santana?

Sooze: I was at first incredibly sad about the Santana trade. I have a crapload of #57 stuff that was pretty hard to look at for a while. Carlos Gomez (I like to call him Go-Go cause dude runs like the wind) really was a pleasant surprise at first, but now it's pretty clear that Denard Span maybe should have won the starting job this Spring. That guy is awesome. Gomez is chock-full of promise and potential though, so I think the Twins got the upper hand in the deal.

As for the three pitchers they received, they're all kind of meh this season. Guerra is pitching down in Single-A and fighting to keep his ERA under 5.00, even with a 10-6 record. Humber is also struggling with the Red Wings, but has the potential to be a decent strikeout pitcher someday. Mulvey? 3-8 with a 3.81 ERA. Ah, young guns. Gotta love 'em.

Old No. 7: You wrote a while back about the controversy surrounding Francisco Liriano's tenure in the minors. Do you think he'll be up soon, and do you think he'll pick up where he left off before his elbow surgery? (Liriano was called up and in his first start back August 9 threw six innings of three-hit shutout baseball-Ed.)

Sooze: I hope Liriano makes it up soon with all my heart. I understand the Twins' dilemma of not knowing what the future holds, who to send down, trade, etc., but something needs to happen before his agent takes desperate measures, like putting a hit on Glen Perkins. I also see the apprehension that may come with remembering his 0-3 record and 11.32 ERA, accumulated over just 10 1/3 innings this April. Franchise (as he was dubbed in '06) is kicking ass down in AAA, though, fanning 113 batters in 118 1/3 innings. The only problem with that is the fact that the minors aren't the big leagues. There is a reason these kids aren't up in the majors, and 90% of that reason is because they pretty much suck at baseball. Translation: not all that challenging.

Old No. 7: What's the status of the rest of your pitching staff? It seems like the no-name rotation is holding together quite nicely and the bullpen has weathered the loss of Pat Neshek. Even HoG favorite Boof Bonser has found a home in the 'pen.

Sooze: Greatest combination of suckiness as of late? Livan Hernandez getting bitch-slapped for four innings, just before Bonser comes in to surrender 3-4 more runs. It seems like the only time Boof even pitches anymore is in a non-save situation or when Minnesota is down eleventeen runs in the sixth. Anyway, if I had to choose someone to let go, it would be Hernandez (Livan was claimed off waivers yesterday by your Colorado Rockies-Ed.). I like the looks of a young rotation, one that could be used for seasons down the road.

Old No. 7: Can this team hit enough in the second half, or might they look at adding a bat before the deadline?

Sooze: Man, they never look. If Terry Mulholland were to come out of retirement today, the Twins would probably give him a contract. And yeah, they can hit. My Canadian Crusher still hits bombs sometimes and Mauer could get on base in his sleep. Also, Nick Punto is totally flirting with .300! No, I am not delusional.

Old No. 7: Are you excited about the new park? I've only spent a little time in Minnesota, and it was in the summer when it was beautiful. How many games do you see being affected by weather and cold each spring?

Sooze: I am SO PUMPED for the new park. I went to U.S. Cellular in June to see the White Sox steamroll the Twins, and it poured all weekend, yet I was still loving every second, simply because the game was played outdoors. But when the time comes to play outdoor baseball in Minnesota, we'll be seeing a lot of make-ups from early-April blizzards. And hopefully October blizzards. too.

Old No. 7: All right, let's take a lap around the Central. The first place White Sox have been resilient--they clobber the baseball, get key outs late in games (and are now getting their closer back) and their starters have been good enough. Do you see them maintaining their success or falling off?

Sooze: I can't answer this question without being completely biased. I hate the White Sox -- making this whole Ken Griffey Jr. being so lovable thing really tough -- so I cannot have the slightest bit of confidence in them. I do, however, love Carlos Quentin.

Old No. 7: After Detroit added a few big-name vets to a loaded roster, many all but handed them the AL pennant back in March. The Tigers were awful this spring but have managed to get themselves back on the radar. They're certainly capable of making a run, do you think it will happen?

Sooze: I called a Detroit Tigers World Series championship this Spring on the Treehouse Fort podcast. Pretty much all season they've made me look like an asshole. I'm glad they're starting to bring it, but no. No ring for Motown, especially now that they've traded Pudge for Farnsworth.

Old No. 7: The other team the pundits forecast greatness for was the Cleveland Indians, who currently reside in the AL Central cellar. They've dealt with injuries, yes, but so has every other club. Is 2008 a one-year aberration, or are Indians fans looking at dark times again?

Sooze: Ah, rebuilding. It seems like it was just a couple seasons ago the Indians were rebuilding. Oh wait, that was a couple of seasons ago. They have some young talent, some hard-hitting vets, and a hell of an ace, but the aliens who abducted the real Cliff Lee will need to put him back eventually. Also, no more C.C.

Old No. 7: Finally, we have an obligation to discuss the Royals--the House of Georges was recently named the 38th best Royals blog on the whole Internets. They've certainly shown improvement in the last three seasons but are a long way from legitimate contention. Tell me this: your Twins have a similar payroll and similar attendance figures to Kansas City, yet you regularly contend and qualify for the playoffs and they do not. You consistently produce guys like Santana, Joe Mauer and Justin Morneau, and bring in quality pieces like Liriano, Gomez and Joe Nathan via trades. What separates your particular brands of small-market baseball?

Sooze: There's something kind of sissy about powder blue unis.

Old No. 7: Sissy? What are you talking about? I'll agree that the new blues are a joke (I hate the dark trim, white pants and black shoes), but come one. Does this look like a sissy to you? Or this? Oh, wait, you're bagging on Kansas City--you're absolutely right. Sissy.

Update: I'm getting a lot of feedback on that photo, and I must point out that it is not of Sooze. That's just some rock star that happens to also be a Twins fan. Sooze, while a Twins fan and a rock star, does not have a beard. I've never met her but I have seen her MySpace page--no beard. So stop asking.

Update No. 2: I forgot to link to the AL West edition, it's here. There's a good chance we'll have midseason reports on the other divisions up by the end of the season. If not check back in the offseason, or perhaps next season.
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Baseball in the Gay Time: A.J. Pierzynski Continues Reign As Prince of Doucheville

I was pretty fired up during Sunday's match between the Sox of White and the hometeamn town Kansas City Royals. For a division rival that typically has my team's number (Editor's Note: Please. Take a moment to think up your own what-team-doesn't-typically-have-the-Royals-number joke. Got it? Good.), I actually have liked the Sox on occasion since I was a kid. I rooted for them in '05, and well, whatever. I haven't really cared for them much since, though. I think at one point, I even stood up for A.J. Pierzynksi in some random message board discussion. But then he developed a beef with Zack Greinke, and the two have almost gotten after it in the last year and-a-half. Now? The bleach-blond sac's address and cell phone number, just after the jump.

What? You didn't really fall for that, did you? Either way, one thing that's been overlooked about this anti-climactic bench clearer, was that Pierzynski was, on tape of course, issuing weird sequences of signs in directions indicating high and inside just before D.J. Carrasco threw at Miguel Olivo for the third, consecutive pitch, the one that hit him. Olivo charges, but settles down like he's got a 90-second round's worth of time, and finds himself contained by GayJay Pierzynski. The great part was that he winded up punching the catcher on the skulltop, but things were not done. A few minutes later, Carrasco, Olivo, and the totally sane Ozzie Guillen having been ejected, Greinke plunks Nick Swisher on the thigh, and Greinke and Trey Hillman are tossed. I get why. There were warnings, etc., but I still say bullshit.

So the league decides to levy the punishments today: Greinke and Olivo get five games; Guillen gets two and a fine; Hillman gets one and a fine; and Carrasco and Pierzynski get nothing.

Golden.

And pay no attention to Slick Ozzie lending us a bit of his secret recipe for acting like an ass. Of course the suspended Royals are appealing the suspensions, allowing them to remain on the active roster for the time being, but that's just swimmingly awesome. Take our first-in-the-rotation starter, our backup catcher, and toss them for a cinco. May you slip on a McDonald's bag, and sever an artery, Bud Selig.
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Baseball in the Daytime: 6-20-08

Today we have one -- count 'em, one -- sunshine-sparked contest on the diamond...ah-ah-ah. And of course it involves the Cubsters of Chi-town. But wait...this single unit of day baseball is bursting with windy-city glory as, you guessed it, the visitors are Ozzie Guillen's stockings in white. You don't need me to tell you that that's good stuff, folks. We'll examine the game a smidge, along with some other news of the diamond sort, once we (Editor's Note: Please. Use your best Casey Kasem voice for these next four words.) jump, jive...an' wail.


Read Jump Jive An’ Wail lyrics


Alrighty then. Now that that's done...

Sox @ Cubs, 1:20: Really. Call the contest what you will. It's a battle of lefties, the challenge of Chicago, an Illinois scrap of first-placers. Either way, John Danks dukes it out with Ted Lilly in a dual of last names with endless joke possibilities. Danks and the visiting stockings bring a 41-31 lead (4-4/2.90 for the hurler) into Wrigley, while the Baby Bears sit at 45-28, and place Lilly's 7-5/4.76 in front of them. The leaders of both these Central divisions will be eager to gain ground on their second-place foes as each starts a new series today. The Cubs are coming off a three-game skid, but slightly relish in the fact that St. Louis just dropped three in a row as well. The White Sox, on the other hand, have won three straight, but so have the pesky Twins. Currently, St. Louis is three and-a-half games back, while Minnesota must chop one more contest out of the first-place way. Anyway, catch this gem on the WGNs, of course. The DirecTVs will also have it, if you crank that dial to the 722 mark, while 184 can plug you in to it over on W-BALZ the XMs.

In evening games of HoG noteworthiness, the Giants come to KC for a visit, and neither team has Barry Bonds on the payroll. Thank. Christ. We would never've heard the end of that one. The Red Sox travel to Busch Stadium for a rematch of the '04 World Series, and, as has been the gig throughout this inter-league run, one of these kids is doin' his own thing; Los Mets travel to Coors Field for some regular ol' NL baseball.

Elsewhere in the baseball 'spheres, Walkoff Walk has an extensive write-up on the Seattle manager firing. Speaking of firings, here's an interesting dilemna, thanks, Bugs and Cranks. In other Mets news, Cousins of Ron Mexico scared me with this post on The Big Lead. And everyone knows you can't mention New York baseball without talking about the Yankees, so Knuckle Curve reminds us that Derek Jeter is overrated. By a lot.

That's it for today, y'all. Enjoy your weekend of great baseball matchups if you're in the stands. If you're on the diamond, I beg you: Please hustle on the base paths, especially down to first on those infield grounders.
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Baseball In The Daytime: 6-9-08

The word for today is reacharound, kids, and I implore you to use it often. The reacharound is a pleasant feeling you get when your weekend series can't quite wrap it up by Sunday and it has to sneak over to Monday afternoon to get 'er done. The term has no other uses, nope, never.

So have a seat, and let the gentle fingers of Baseball In The Daytime caress your fanhood until you're a happy customer...

Arizona @ Pittsburgh, 10:35 Mountain Our first reacharound occurs at the confluence of the Allegheny, Monongahela and Ohio Rivers, at beautiful PNC Park. It features your still first-place D'Bags and the scrappy Pirates. How scrappy, you ask? Well, they're nine and a half out and in fifth place. Sounds like the same old Pirates, you say. But hold on there, Mr. Cynical. The Bucs actually hold the same record as the Dodgers, who reside in second in their division, and are within a half game of the Mets, who have the second-highest payroll in the sport. So yes, they're scrappy. Your reacharound starters are The Big Unit and The Duke, which is fitting.

Kansas City @ NY Yankees, 11:05 Nowhere is the reacharound tradition more legendary than at venerable Yankee Stadium, site of today's contest between the Bombers and the Royals. Although the Yanks are gunning for the series win in this four-game set, it is the boys in occasional powder blue who could easily be setting up for a sweep. If they could pitch better, that is, and I suppose being able to pitch would be a prerequisite for sweeping a major league baseball team. Joakim Soria blew a ninth-inning lead on Saturday, while Zach Greinke could not hold a one-run edge in yesterday's contest. Today Luke Hochevar will be given the ball to start, but the score will be 0-0. Keep it together, kid. Mike Mussina drags his Archie Bunker hide to the mound as well.

Minnesota @ Chicago White Sox, 12:05 Getting some reacharound is a pleasant surprise, and these Pale Hose are one of the biggest surprises in baseball. Chicago holds a five and a half game lead over these Twins after taking the first three games of the series. That represents the biggest divisional lead in the game. When reached (around) for comment, manager Ozzie Smith Guillen said "Fuck you, fag." Fair enough, Oz. The skip sends John Danks, bro, into battle against Glenn Perkins, a rare instance when two starters whose names both end in "S" face one another. Reach around gently, boys, and Play Ball!
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My Sports Life is a Rock Song: "Sunday, Bloody Sunday"

This is "My Sports Life is a Rock Song," a weekly series in which the House of Georges attempts to mix professional sports opinion with music. We've thus far tended to stay in the rock genre, but not intentionally; our last installment of this series attempted to meld Ice Cube and the Kansas City Royals, and we've gone punk on one occasion, too. This go-'round goes out on the unusually placed end-of-the-weekend slot, and the feature track is perhaps the influence. The content of the post, however, is miscellaneous in nature. After the jump, we'll have a look at some professional football, a bit of basketball NBA-style, and of course, some Kansas City Royals baseball.

Recently, we teamed up with the Yard Barker Network, and there're an impressive number of sports bloggers out there that either write for the site, belong to the network, or simply frequent it for news and updates. For a sample of some writing that goes on "in the Yard," here's a bit from SpankDaddy that discusses why Kobe Bryant will never be like Mike -- a sentiment with which I agree -- or a number of others for that matter. Speaking of Kobe and the Lakers, Bleacher Report is another network member, and BR's Senior Writer Jeff Little examines tonight's second-of-the-series contest between L.A. and Boston. I'm not linking to Mr. Little's post so that I may rip on him; his was the first preview I came across, and I'm too lazy to look for another. I couldn't disagree with commenter Max any stronger than I do. The piece is not "great," and in this instance, I don't think they author is "quite good at writing." What I do think is that the preview is full of useless generalities, and (at least one) inaccuracy.

Paragraph -- though I wouldn't really call them that -- eight includes the line, "The Celtics played tremendous defense," and I think we all know (Editor's Note: Shut up, Lone Reader.) that no one plays defense in the NBA. Actually, I've heard several recent claims that the league-wide level of overall D has improved significantly in recent years, but it's more fun to still gripe about it. Anyway, the piece is very generic, poorly punctuated, and lacking a prediction. I've picked the Celts to win the series, but I think the Lakers rebound (Note: No pun intended.), and come away with the victory this evening, 103-98. In Little's defense, he is a Raiders fan, and a guy who, in his profile, claims that his sports "takes are always on point." So he's got that working against for him.

In football news, The Big Lead points out that "Jeremy Shockey is douchey." I couldn't agree more. They also share with us the news of a certain Chicago Bears running back who was, in numerous allegations, wrongfully arrested last month for boating while under the influence/intoxicated. The latest: he was arrested on Friday for driving in similar conditions, and running a red light. His lawyer, in a statement I can't wrap my head around, insists that Benson was not intoxicated. The tailback refused to take a breathalyzer or participate in a blood screening. Hmm...Kinda leaves Bears Nation singing, "I can't believe the news today. I can't close my eyes and make it go away..."

TBL writes:

This kind of throws a dagger in the heart of the “cops singled me out” story. BWI + DWI = no football in Chicago, one would presume. The Bears have yet to release a statement, but I’m confident that when that happens, it will involve a release of Benson.

And for the love of the Creator, Cedric, call a cab or hire a driver. You have the funds.

Again, couldn't agree more. I'm sure these guys won't, though. We've agreed to disagree regarding some of the details related to Mr. Benson's last-month arrest.

In Chiefs news, a deal with first-round pick Glenn Dorsey doesn't appear to be just around the corner. And Greg Wesley's in minicamp, though he doesn't know what his role with the club is. I feel like this is the third year in a row we've heard this story.

On the baseball diamond, I'm a few games away from throwing my hands up regarding the Royals and this season. Doesn't mean I won't follow and root, but I won't be able to confidently steer the vessel known as "Operation Play .500 Ball" without fear of sinking. Since snapping their 12-game losing streak, they've gone 2-5. They took two from the Cleveland Indians, got swept by the division-leading Chicago White Sox, then kicked off a series in New York where they win a pitchers' dual (2-1), allow a Yankees come-from-behind win in a hitters' exchange (12-11), and squandered another lead today, losing 6-3. They make no sense, and I have no idea what the solution is. I theorize that it has something to do with getting some gelling between the younger guys and the veterans, and figuring out who your (more or less) everyday lineup is going to include.

In Chicago, they, for the most part, kept games close with good pitching, and decent-at-best hitting, but they gave up about 87 homeruns in that three-game stretch. Yeah. I know. That means the pitching wasn't good. But it wasn't bad. Then they travel to the Bronx to face a struggling Yankees club, get decent starts out of their guys to split the first two, only to let game three slide away with a blast from Jason "Gold Bond" Giambi. Fuck. That guy's had one of the shittiest starts to a season in his career. One more game against the 'Stripes before hosting the Rangers for three, then two solid weeks of Inter-League play featuring Arizona, the Cardinals (twice), the Giants, and the Rockies. Come July, this team will have a hot stretch of summer baseball, where it's time to resemble the temperature, or reassemble the club.

In other extremely unfunny Royals news, the club only waited three too many years to do this. Jesus. Ever since his AL Rookie of the Year season, Royals fans have been watching the fielding blunders and eptiomally awful strikeouts of Berroa, leaving us singing, "How long -- How long must we sing this song?"
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Baseball In The Daytime: 5-28-08

As we're now into the semi-official, post-Memorial Day summer phase of the baseball season, the temperature is starting to rise. For Willie Randolph in Queens, it's hotter than Hades already. On tap today are a pair of games, one played outside in the heat and the bugs, one inside next to a fish tank.

So throw on a little Coppertone, knock back a few hydrating beverages and enjoy some Baseball In The Daytime...

Chicago White Sox @ Cleveland, 10:05 Mountain There's always a little controversy brewing in Ozzie Guillen's clubhouse, and this latest one is more than a little queer. That's queer as in odd, but if you want to attribute a few homo qualities to it that's your business. I don't judge.

Shortstop Orlando Cabrera, who I've been a huge, huge fan of since he helped the Red Sox win a championship in 2004, was dealt to the Pale Hose in the offseason. He's off to an awful start, although since Ozzie inserted him in the leadoff spot his numbers have improved. It's his defensive stats, however, that are currently at issue. Seems OC has taken to calling official scorekeepers and lobbying for errors to be overturned. I'm sure that goes over well with the pitchers playing in front of him, as earned runs are being added to their stats after the fact. Today that skeptical hurler will be Gavin Floyd, while Jake Westbrook comes off the DL to throw for the Tribe.

Texas @ Tampa, 10:40 Josh Hamilton has 58 RBI on the season. It is May 28 and that is not a misprint. Hamilton, who like Cabrera was obtained in exchange for pitching over the winter, has absolutely lit up the American League, which was the initial intent of the then-Devil Rays when they made him the No. 1 pick of the 1999 Draft. He then infamously developed a love affair with various white powders before discovering Jesus and a newfound ability to annihilate baseballs. Trying to slow him today will be Bay-Ray Matt Garza (yet another offseason tradee), who'll share the hill with Ranger Kason Gabbard. Play Ball!
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