Tuesday Tidbits: It Has Now Officially, Gotten Stankiest Out There

It's a gloomy day in Kansas City. That is, it's raining. Either snow or rain has been falling consistently for three straight days now, and sporting news hitting the CyberStands doesn't look much better. In case you've not heard, Kansas City Chiefs wide receiver Dwayne Bowe has been suspended by the NFL for four games for violating the league's performance-enhancing substance policy. Word is that he'll not appeal the suspension, that it'll start immediately. Speculations are that, as Bowe came into training camp 30 pounds overweight, he used a diuretic to help shed some pounds, which, if correcty, translates to off-season laziness. This means no Steelers at home this weekend, no Chargers on the road in two weeks, no Broncos and no Bills for the first part of a three-game home stand. Thank God for the Chris Chambers signing, as our playoff chances were looking threatened there for a minute.

In NCAA news, Kansas Jayhawks Head Football Coach Mark Mangino is going under the scope. I don't mean surgery, and I don't mean they're going to try and place the big fella on a slide for examination. I mean that the school is investigating allegations of questionable conduct in the form of "yelling at and making contact with a player earlier this season." But that's just a few clouds on a figuratively bright day for KC sports...

...because Kansas City Royal Zack Greinke has won the American League Cy Young Award, by count of 25 of 28 votes. When the chatterings began, I had little faith that Greinke would actually win it. The case for Zack tried to make itself inevitable, though, as the regular season drew to a close, and the playoffs began. But today, a certain someone's prediction rang true.

On the evening of April the 8th, of 2009, I texted Old No. 7 that KC's number two starter had looked real sharp in a 2-0 shutout of the Chicago White Sox at U.S. Cellular Field.

His response was something to the tune of, "Part of a little Cy Young campaign I like to call Gettin' Stanky with Zack Greinke," which made me chuckle. Of course I liked the notion of it, but never did I think it would come true, some seven months later. Well played, sir, and well deserved, Mr. Greinke. Three cheers for good news. Hell, three cheers for great news.
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Baseball In The Daytime: 23 September 2009

Yet again, but one day game highlights our major league calendar. I know the kids are back in school, and these clubs are simply trying to milk every last buck out of the season before shutting down for the winter. But I've got another reason for Baseball In The Daytime: It's cold!

The temperature at Coors Field for last night's Rockies-Padres game was Farenheit 45 at first pitch. By the end of the 11-10 home team win, stalagtites of snot were seen forming on Jason Giambi's handlebars. This is no way to play the game, use the daytime. That's the end of our public service announcement, join us for the game preview (and a little Cy Young political activism) after the jump...

NY Yankees @ Los Anaheim, 1:35 Scott Kazmir starts for Los Angels today, and there's a rumor working the circuit that Kazmir would be Mike Scoscia's choice to pitch Game 1 of the AL Division Series. This is a joke, right? I know that Kazmir has been solid since coming over from the Bay-Rays, and that he's a historic Red Sox killer, but going with Kazmir over John Lackey is cuckoo. Lackey is a horse, the ace of the staff, and a playoff veteran. I never thouhgt I'd call Mike scoscia a dope, but if he goes with Kazmir over Lackey the shoe might fit. A.J. Burnett is your Yankee pitcher, and Joe Girardi is desperately looking for a way to hide Burnett in his playoff rotation. Fun times at the Big A today.

In almost completely unrelated news, I saw a bit on Joe Posnanski's blog (last paragraph) about a gentleman named Patrick Reusse. Reusse is a sports columnist for the Minneapolis Star-Tribune and a part-time radio personality. Apparently while on the radio yesterday Reusse said that Zack Greinke will need to win at least 16 games to get consideration for his--Reusse's--Cy Young vote. I tried to listen to Posnanski's link to the broadcast but couldn't get it to work, so I have no idea about the accuracy of the statement or its context, but I'm still steamed.

The fact that this Reusse would deny Greinke the Cy, after Greinke has posted not only the indisputably best season of any pitcher in the AL but the best season of any pitcher this decade is nutty enough. But to announce to the world that his reason for potentially doing so is that he needs 16 wins (not 20, not 11, not 85, but 16) is completely bonkers. I know awards are stupid, and that they often go to undeserving recipients, but I see a unique opportunity in baseball history here. In the past the Patrick Reusses of the world worked solely for newspapers, and they were insulated from their readers and the world around them. No baseball writer ever discussed his votes for the Cy Young award or the MVP, never. The secret ballot was sacred.

Now, most of your Patrick Reusse types do what Patrick Reusse does, out of survival. They chatter on the radio. They pop up on television. They blog. They work harder more, across more platforms, in order to make a living. As a result, they're forced to come up with more shit to discuss, more than would simply fill three 500-word columns a week. And if they're Cy Young voters, they have a golden fountain of interesting talk-radio fodder. I could care less about the spoken opinions of Pat Reusse, Twin Cities lunchbag sportswriter. But Pat Reusse, Baseball Writer of America Member and Cy Young Voter, let me hear that. That's interesting. Unfortunately, his voting method is idiotic.

So I emailed Pat Reusse, (you can too, preusse@startribune.com) with my feelings about this topic. I was polite, and I didn't call him a moron. If he gives his Cy vote to C.C. Sabathia, however, moron will be the nicest thing I label Patrick Reusse. The email:

Mr. Reusse,

I'm writing in regards to your vote for the American League Cy Young award. It's my understanding that you have gone on the record to say that Zack Greinke needs to win at least 16 games to garner your vote for the Cy. Now it's your vote, and your business what you do with it, but the fact is that you announced to the world some of your criteria for that vote, and I have an opinion about that. I respect you as a journalist and a baseball man, but I think saying that 16 wins is mandatory for a Cy Young season is not commensurate with the spirit of the award.

In your previous Cy Young votes have you imposed this 16-win standard? I wonder where, exactly, you arrived at this figure as the threshold for excellence. Perhaps you have a valid set of standards for doing so that I have missed. I've always been bothered by the rigid adherence to certain arbitrary counting numbers in the game of baseball.

20 wins, for instance, has over my lifetime always been the line of demarcation for a great pitching season--even though since we've set that standard we've changed the number of games teams play in a season from 154 to 162, we've gone from four-man rotations to the current five-, and we've radically altered usage patterns with relief pitchers. Yet 20 wins remains the benchmark for excellence. There's nothing inherently evil with that--20 wins is great, and is in fact significant. But what gets me is that if you don't reach that plateau you're downgraded too severely. Let's say we have three pitchers, and one wins 24 games, one wins 20 and one wins 19. The 24-game winner would be universally applauded, and rightfully so. The 20-game winner would also get many accolades, and probably more Cy Young votes, than the 19-game winner, because he simply notched one more victory. The reason he won that single contest could be that he's much better than the 19-game winner. But it could also be pure luck, more run support, a better defense, a pitcher's park, or any of a hundred reasons why one team beats another on a single day.

Same goes with hitting .300, or collecting 200 hits in a year, or 3,000 hits in a career, or winning 300 games as a pitcher. Doing any of these things requires great skill as a ballplayer, but falling just short sometimes condemns that player to baseball purgatory. In my opinion Bert Blyleven is better than at least a dozen pitchers in the Hall of Fame, yet the fact that he ended his career 13 wins shy of 300 has haunted him. Johan Santana won Cy Young awards in 2004 and 2006, but finished third in the voting in 2005 despite leading the AL in strikeouts, WHIP and ERA+. His ERA was second in the league that year, yet his win total of 16 was tied for fifth. Bartolo Colon won the Cy Young in 2005, despite finishing 8th in both ERA and strikeouts. But Colon led his league with 21 wins, thus trumping an obviously superior season from Santana. All because of a silly adherence to the magical value of 20 wins.

Now C.C. Sabathia will get two more starts this season, and in those he will have a chance to win his 19th and 20th games. Zack Greinke will also start twice more, and it's possible that he could end up stuck on 15 wins. Even if their win totals were to end up with that wide disparity, every other statistical measure says that Greinke is the better pitcher in 2009. Sabathia has the benefit of working for a team that will win over 100 games, Greinke labors for a club that is currently 25 games under .500. Even if you simply throw out all the stats and numbers, just watching Greinke pitch it's obvious that he's on a higher level than Sabathia (or Felix Hernandez or Roy Halladay or Justin Verlander or anyone else in the AL). I would beg you, as a fan of the game of baseball, to reconsider your requirement of 16 wins for Greinke to earn your Cy Young vote. Up to this point he's been the finest pitcher in the American League, and he deserves it.

By the way, I'm not a Royals fan--I actually root for the Red Sox.

Thanks for your time,
(REDACTED)

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Baseball in the Daytime: The Day After the Real Mexican Independence Day

Welcome back in for what's basically the only feature we bring you anymore with any regularity. What with the economy in the outhouse, we've had to cut our staff significantly. Gone are the beat writers that brought you Tradition Tuesday, We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday, ThumbTubes & YouNails, and the ol' Fiction Fix. Left are the lazy slouches known as the Iron Triangle. Bummer for you. No big whoop for us, the lazy and uninventive.

What remains, then, is some day baseball, the occasional long-winded feature, and the dying hopes of the Cy Young award going to a young man with a special-mouthed girlfriend. Your day baseball slate, a click away.

Kansas City @ Detroit, 12:05 Central: Heading into last night's game at Comerica, I had a feeling the Royals would lose. It was one of those situations where, having won seven of their last 10, and considering that Minnesota had won to potentially slide up a game on the Tigers, that the Royals typically find a way not to win. My thoughts changed for a minute when they went up 3-0, but ol' Lenny DiNardo couldn't quite make it through the fifth. Tigers four, Royals three. A solid two-plus weeks into September, it's time to fully shift away from Operation Standings Affect and into Operation Avoid One Hundred Losses. Today's matchup doesn't really bode well for that transition, either. I mean, one of the best arms in the American League will be on the hill for Kansas City: Zack Greinke. This second half, in terms of run support, has just been brutal for Stank, though. He's 13-8 heading into today's tilt, and really, could be aiming for win number 20. His E.R.A. of 2.19 is still the best in baseball. Tim Lincecum of Los Gigantes is closest with a 2.30, and only Linc' and Justin Verlander have more K's. Stank's counterpart today, Edwin Jackson, has done well for himself this season. He sits at 12-8, with a 3.22, and has fanned 145 while walking 62. If you're watching, DirecTV 213, 721 are your channels. If you're listening, it's XM 176.

Milwaukee @ Chicago, 1:20: Matchup number two on our day baseball slate is a bit sad, in that in includes two teams from the same division that really could be contending for a Wild Card spot, had their respective trains not derailed last month. There's a mild discrepancy regarding today's starters for the visiting team: The local fishwrap says the 3-5 Mike Burns'll be on the mound in Chicago; MLB's Intranets site says Dave Bush will take the hill for the Brew Crew. If it's Bush -- and we'll assume that it is -- he's trying to work his way back to .500, having won his last two starts. If it's Burns, he'll be looking for win number four on the season, and hoping to whittle away at a a six-plus E.R.A. The Brewers are playing for next year and for pride. Chicago, with six and-a-half games and four clubs in front of them, could still squeak in, but they'd need some light's-out baseball, a wing, and a prayer. The Cubbies look to get that rollin'; Milwaukee's looking for a series split. DirecTV likes this one so much, it's offering three choices: 307, 722, 723. XM felt it was only worth one: 183.

That's your schtick for today, baseball fans. Here's hoping your sticks and rubbers bask in that sun.
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Baseball In The Daytime: 19 August 2009

Our lone matinee in baseball today happens to feature the House of Georges' favorite bad ballclub. So come with me, ladies and gentlemens, to the bucolic South Side of Chicago, where our beloved Royals attempt to either win a Major League baseball game or advance one step closer to drafting Bryce Harper. It's a win-win, really, after the jump...

Kansas City @ Chicago White Sox, 12:05 Mountain This game at U.S. Cellular Field features starting pitchers Zack Greinke and Jose Contreras. Contreras is a washed-up old Cuban forkballer who spent a chunk of the season in Triple-A because he gets torched regularly. Greinke has been one of the AL's best pitchers this season, but let's examine exactly how good.

Greinke's record stands at 11-7, but that's much more a function of the jersey he wears than his pitching ability. His teammates have given him just 4.71 runs of support per start, lowest in the AL among pitchers who've thrown 100+ innings. In his last start Friday against the Tigers, he went seven strong and allowed one run as the Royals went down 1-0. It was the fourth time KC has been shut out in Greinke's starts this season and the second time he's lost 1-0. In those four shutout losses he's tallied 28 innings and yielded four earned runs.

For the year Grienke's ERA of 2.33 leads the league, as do his 20 quality starts. He's third in strikeouts (174) and strikeouts per 9 innings (9.41) behind Justin Verlander and Jon Lester, and seventh in innings pitched at 166 2/3. Could Greinke possibly capture the Cy Young on a last-place club?

It's happened before, in 1972, when Steve Carlton went 27-10 for a Phillies team that won only 59 games total. Greinke is nowhere near Lefty's year, which was among the best ever--Carlton notched 30 complete games, struck out 310, had a 1.97 era and a 15-game winning streak. The young Royal ace is helped by a relatively weak AL field, however, and has an outside shot at the Cy.

The leaders at this point are probably Verlander and Roy Halladay, with the Red Sox duo of Lester and Josh Beckett likely to draw votes as well. Verlander is 13-6 with a 3.28 ERA, 194 strikeouts and a 1.16 WHIP in '09, while Halladay's gone 13-5/2.65/144/1.08. Verlander will get credit for his status as the ace of a probable division winner, which he should. But If Verlander fades, there is no reason for Halladay to receive the award ahead of Greinke when the Royal has significantly better numbers. Stank already lost the starting gig in the All-Star game to Doc because of reputation alone, if he were denied a Cy Young for the same reason it would be a crime.

As for the rest of the Royals, someone has finally crystallized what the remainder of the season is all about--megaphenom Bryce Harper and the No. 1 pick in 2010. Bleacher Report has taken up the task of following the race for the bottom, which currently has the Nats in the lead. KC has closed to within four games, so there's opportunity in these last six weeks to catch up (or down, whatever). And if you're a Royals fan who, like our very own Banky, can't stomach wishing for failure, just pull for the Nats--except today, when the play the Rockies. Just lose, baby, and Play Ball!
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Baseball in the Daytime: Juice? We Don't Need No Stinkin' Juice

Over the course of the past two and-a-half years, I've heard from a few House of Georges fellas that they don't really care for this feature. It's not, they say, that it's dumb or poorly written, or monotonous. Well, it might be all of those things, but they've just been nice and not said those exact words. But the point they wanted to make, I think, was that there's just no appeal in it. There's no headline, no gossip, no shenanigans, no smack talk, no hope and hype and talk of championships on the horizons, and I understand that. I respect those opinions, but I also have mine, and I happen to be a big fan of ol' Baseball in the Daytime, sheerly for what it symbolizes. Sure, it's fun to pretend like it's frequently feasible to ditch work, go day drinking, and take in a baseball game. What this feature means for me, though, is nothing more than a little trinket of nostalgia. I can't really describe it, but having a baseball game on television in the middle of the day takes me back to my childhood, a time when baseball was anything and everything, quicker than most anything I can imagine. Television was it. It was the technology. There were no kids at bus stops with iPhones and Nintendo DS absorbing their every ounce of attention, kids that couldn't list one single player on their hometown team. There were kids in soccer fields and backyards, and they were playing baseball in every moment they could squeeze out of their folks. And I, for a spell, was one of them.

So, yes, I find weekday baseball awesome, especially when the Royals are playing and I know, even if it's not a true possibility in the given moment, that I can head out to the stadium for some diamond ball in the sunshine. So it's good to be back in the chair for this morning's slate, which you can find, of course, just after the jump.


Philadelphia @ Cincinnati, 11:35 Central: What better a way to kick off a Thursday of baseball than with a lunchtime feature containing two righties, one of which may or may not be a lunchbox thief. I speak, of course, of the hefty Joe Blanton, who'll be the mountain on the hill atop the first inning at Great American Ballpark. Blanton and his defending-champion Phills have gotten their act together and gotten over .500, and don't look now, but they're actually in first in the N.L. East by a whole game. It's high time Mr. Blanton do his part, as his 1-3, 6.86 E.R.A. start to the year hasn't necessarily contributed much noteworthy to the effort. Starting off the bottoms of the frames will be Micah Owings for the Redlegs. On the books Mr. Owings has been a part of seven decisions with three wins and four losses, while his earned-run average is nearly three points lower than today's counterpart. Catch this tilt on DirecTV 721, XM 183.

Texas @ Detroit, 12:05: Today's second affair pits me in a peculiar spot: rooting for a Texas team, a Texas team that refuses to surrender the first-place spot in the A.L. West, a Texas team that could certainly have a helping of discounted Hank Stram shirts, or maybe even find the House of Georges sponsoring one of its player pages if they could, uh, quitely, discreetly find a way to beat the Tigers today. Today's second duel will also be a matchup of righties, two gents that have had a bit more success so far in 2009, what with visiting-team ace Kevin Millwood holding a 4-3, 2.93, while home-team town Edwin Jackson trots out a 3-2, 2.42. It's a battle of firsts at Comerica Park, one that may be viewed on DirecTV 722 or 723, or listened to on XM 176.

Minnesota @ Chicago, 1:05: Match three has a pair of A.L. Central clubs who've spent most of the past three weeks trading licks in the standings. Today, they're tied at five and-a-half back and they'll attempt to separate themselves from one another by sending Jeremy Blackburn and Bartolo Colon to the mound. Granted, both starters won't be there at the exact same time, but both starters do have two victories and E.R.A.s in the four range. Colon will have a shade of extra pressure on his home-team shoulders as the Ozzie Guillens appear ready to pull the trigger on Old No. 7's mostest favoritest Team U.S.A. World Baseball Classic pitcher, Jake Peavy. Find the madness on DirecTV 724 and 725, or on XM 177.

Cleveland @ Kansas City, 1:10: I've been angling all season long, trying to formulate a master plan to get out of work and get out to the K for an afternoon weekday game. Today, righties Carl Pavano sits atop the rubber-match Stank Tank board, just waiting to be dunked, and I'm stuck earning my small pile of beans. Guess it just wasn't in the cards. I sure can envision myself, though: my pockets seven dollars lighter, hanging in the Dri-Duck seats, hoping, some 30 years later, for my first-ever caught baseball, a cold one in hand. But heck, driving around and listening to it on the radio sounds just as nice. The Royals pitcher of the affair is 7-1 with a 0.60 E.R.A. and I keep waiting for the point in the season where his stats don't look like a typo in the morning paper. Mr. Pavano has gone 3-4 with a 6.33, and these two clubs have each taken one series a piece at the mark of 2-1. Someone repeats today, and you can find out who on DirecTV 726 or 727. Or you can tune in to XM 178.

Oakland @ Tampa Bay, 3:08: We travel down to Florida for the afternoon's final game for a contest between two clubs that really need to get their acts together. The defending American League champion Rays are toying with .500 and they'll give Matt Garza the nod today. Oakland has managed to win but 15 games, but by sending lefty Dallas Braden out for duty, they've a decent shot of making it 16. Braden's record is 3-5 right now, and his E.R.A. sits at 3.64, but for Athletic pitching, that ain't terrible. Garza, at 4-2, 3.50, is also, not terrible. Catch this one on DirecTV 728 or 729, or grab a speaker and put your XMs to the one seven niner.

That's your day baseball slate today, folks. Enjoy.
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Baseball in the Daytime: 4-29-09

It's been a week since we've had any afternoon baseball and bam -- just like that, the league's schedule-makers toss a half dozen affairs our way for this last hump day of April, and we'll talk about the slate in just a moment. I'd be remiss if I didn't take a quick moment to talk about fantasy baseball and my home team as well. As far as fantasy, I started off the season with consecutive wins, which was nice. It really was. I wasn't throwing any parties by any means, but I'm typically out of the post-season running halfway through week two. Well last week, I lost a nail-biter to an ass-clown that no longer frequents the House of Georges, and that loss occurred courtesy of .09 percentage points in the Opponents Batting Average category. Either that or E.R.A. Some stupid pitching stat. I wasn't pleased with the loss, but I'd hoped to rebound as I faced league-leading Old No. 7 at the onset of the week, and let me tell you: I'm getting crushed. He has every opportunity to blank me 14-0, and I'll just go ahead and say I hope he does. He has 115 percent geeked out about this season since Christmas, and this might be the year he takes it all home. Having said that, I'll say this in regards to fantasy baseball: "Screw you guys. I'm going home."

Regarding my real baseball team, Zack Greinke takes the mound tonight against lefty Blue Jay pitcher Brian Tallet. It's a 7:10 first pitch. It's supposed to be cold and rainy, and it's the rubber match of the series. The Royals surprised some folks and clubbed Toronto 7-1 the night before last in a game that featured Jose Guillen cracking two jacks in just his second game back. I drafted Guillen by the way, and then opened the season with five guys on the DL. Something had to give. I'll bet you can guess who picked him up and enjoyed those long balls. The Blue Jays returned the favor last night, taking it to the Royals 8-1. This is a special rubber match, though, in that Greinke, who has already joined Don Drysdale and Orel Hershiser by logging six consecutive starts without surrendering an earned run, has the chance to eclipse the two, and continue to add to a fantastic start. There is of course the jinx factor, what with the national notoriety, and much local buzz as well.

I for one, am hoping that the black cloud of curses passes over the K tonight, though, and I think that fate is in my/our hands if only in the fact that you know who drafted Greinke and will use him to hopefully blank my fantasy club in all categories pitching. I can't imagine -- when you compound the pressure with a kid who left the game due to a social-anxiety disorder -- how a 25 year-old kid will go out there tonight and toss a game like he's been tossing them, but it'll be interesting, I'm sure. Go get 'em, Stank'.

And now, after the jump, we return you to your regularly scheduled listing of day baseball.

Los Angeles @ Baltimore, 11:35 Central: Our earliest match is our only American League feature today, and it finds the Orioles of Camden Yards nestled in in Los Pornaheim. That's right. Anaheim, in case you didn't know, is the pornography-manufacturing capital of the world. Not Hollywood. Not Thailand, and no, not your neighbor's cousin's guest room. The units occupying the mound today are none other than righties Shane Loux for the home team and Koji Uehara for the visitors. Loux's looking for his first win, and hopes to keep his E.R.A. under seven as his still-struggling Angels could use the help. Uehara seeks win number three, and you gotta feel for the Birds as they're near the top five in runs scored, but in a cutthroat A.L. East where Boston and New York continue to dagger one another for middle ground, a Toronto (who leads the bigs with 133 plated) club that continues to tear, and a defending American League-champion Tampa that, uh, hasn't quite realized that the season's almost a month old. Either way, DirecTV carries the action on 721, 722, while XM has it on 176.

Pittsburgh @ Milwaukee, 12:05: A few minutes later, Ian Snell will take the hill in the city of Miller, while Yovani Gallardo represents the .500 Brew Crew. Snell enters at 1-2 with a 4.50 E.R.A., but really has his work cut out for him in three ways: One, Gallardo is 2-1 with a 3.71 and coming off of his first complete game; two, the Brewers have won seven of their last 10; and three, according to MLB.com, Snell is 109 at Miller Park, which means there's some sort of time-age continuum that affects only him inside the stadium. Other reports suggest that he is 28 everywhere else he goes. Apparently, DirecTV doesn't like to broadcast senior-citizen athletes, so you'll have to catch the thrills on XM 183.

Florida @ New York, 12:05 As that tilt's getting underway, so are the Marlins and the Mets in New York. This one features righty Josh Johnson for the Marlins and lefty Johan Santana for the home team. If ever there was a pitcher's duel, this is it as Johnson comes in at 2-0 with a 2.20, having just tossed seven scoreless (with two walks, three hits, and eight Ks) frames against the defending champs. Santana's looking pretty sharp himself, boasting a 3-1 record with a a 0.70 E.R.A. The southpaw hasn't lost a home start in 11 outings, and is averaging nearly 13 Ks per nine innings in those contests. Tune in for a hurler's clinic on DirecTV 724, or listen to what they're saying on XM 184.

Seattle @ Chicago, 1:05: Did I say there was only one A.L. game this afternoon? Well, that goes to show you what I know. Last time I checked, the Mariners and White Sox still played in the American League, and they'll continue that trend today as Erik Bedard and Gavin Floyd exchange pleasantries in the Windy City. Bedard enters at 2-1 with a 2.08, and his Mariners continue to surprise the West with a two and-a-half game lead over the Rangers, though they've scored more than 30 runs fewer. For the Sox, Floyd's 2-2 mark, 5.79 E.R.A. has to improve if the Ozzie Guillens want to leapfrog the win-one-lose-one Royals in the Central. DirecTV has options: 307, 725, or 726. XM keeps it simple: 177.

San Diego @ Colorado, 2:10: It's some good ol'-fashioned N.L. West fightin' out in the Mile High City this afternoon. Kevin "Chic" Correia and his right arm battles Aaron "Can't" Cook and his. Both are 0-1, neither has a great earned-run average, and each of their clubs is looking up at the Dodgers, especially the Rockies, who're looking up at everyone. The action's on DirecTV 727, XM 185.

Chicago @ Arizona, 2:40: Our final bout of the pre-evening slate features the Cubs and the Diamondbacks. Ryan Dempster and Doug Davis each have a win a piece, and they'll battle for victory number two today out in the desert. Each of these teams needs a pick-me-up of some sort as they've both gone .500 over their last 10, and each need to gain some divisional ground, especially Arizona, who has only a half-game cushion over the last-place Rockies.

Whew. I never thought I'd feel like drinking before eight A.M. (Editor's Note: Well, not since high school, anyway.), but that was entirely too much work. Get your game on, and enjoy a frosty beverage while you're at it.
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Tuesday Tidbits: It Has Now Officially, Gotten Stanky Out There

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, for the first time since 1993, a member of the Kansas City Royals has graced the cover of Cecil's most favoritest magazine, Sports Illustrated.

First heard the news last night from JoePos' blog. It was confirmed this morning, and now, you can read the article.

Not sure how I feel about the exposure, or the possible pressure it may but on the youngster that dons Michael Jordan's jersey number, but gee whiz, this Posnanski dude can write.
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Saturday Studmuffins: Kansas City Royals Pitcher Zack Greinke

I suppose it's only fitting that, on a Saturday after we don't deliver this feature, a candidate presents himself for having done something spectacular both last Saturday, and last night. And that individual is none other than number 23 on the Kansas City Royals, the number-two man in the 'tation, the boyfriend of a girl with a special mouth, Zack Greinke.

First things first: This is, of course, the sure-fire way to jinx Greinke's early-season success, but I challenge the jinx Gods, nonetheless.

Greinke was a first-round selection (sixth pick overall) in the 2003 Major League Baseball draft. He debuted with the Royals in May 2004. His numbers, through the years, since then:

2004: 8-11, 3.97 E.R.A. through 145 innings pitched, generating 100 Ks to 26 BBs

2005: 5-17, 5.80 E.R.A. through 183 innings pitched, generating 114 Ks to 53 BBs

2006: 1-0, 4.26 E.R.A. through 6.1 innings pitched, generating 5 Ks to 3 BBs*

2007: 7-7, 3.69 E.R.A. through 122 innings pitched, generating 106 Ks to 36 BBs

2008: 13-10, 3.47 E.R.A. through 202 innings pitched, generating 183 Ks to 56 BBs

2009: 4-0, 0.00 E.R.A. through 29 innings pitched, generating 36 Ks to 6 BBs**

* Greinke, after one start, was put on the 60-day DL, and left the club to get a handle on his mental health, a period during which/leading up to, Greinke said he was more interested in hitting (Editor's Note: He currently has a slugging percentage of .583 with a homer and a double in 12 at bats.), but also wanted to leave baseball for good.

** to date, through the first 16 games of the season

There's another side to Greinke, though, and that's his 115 percent awesomeness at interviews. Last Saturday, after his complete-game shutout versus Texas, he handed Royals catcher Miguel Olivo all of the credit. Last night, after his complete-game semi-shutout (Note: On a Detroit base hit, Royals centerfielder Coco Crisp threw the ball to shortstop Mike Aviles, who threw, a bit low, to third, and the ball bounced off of the baserunner's foot, allowing said runner to score, which ended Greinke's scoreless-inning streak -- dating back to last year -- at 38 innings.), he again rained praise on Olivo, as well as Royals Pitching Coach Bob "Mac" McClure. There are, however, some instant-classic interview tidbits of a younger, spring-training Greinke, that you should totally dig on:

Old-School Stank I



Old-School Stank II



That's this week's SS. It should be noted that credit for both interviews go to D.A., who is the most fantastic sports-talk-radio host on the planet, especially when he doesn't sue us.
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