Up In The Nosebleeds: To Catch A Predator
And so begins yet another semi-regular, soon-to-be-forgotten feature in the HoG, Up In The Nosebleeds. In it we’ll give some attention to obscure, niche sports that get pushed aside by the mainstream, like competitive bass fishing, cow tipping and ice hockey.
Think Cheap Seats, only not on ESPN Classic and without the twin brothers who bone each other.
It’s time to break down the event that happens on Saturday. No, not the Kentucky Derby, although the Run For The Roses does hold its own allure. It remains the only sporting contest that I regularly watch with my mom. Mom, for all of her puritanical opposition to drinking, drugs, porn and gambling, is a fiend at the track. She grew up within spittin’ distance of Saratoga Springs and has been wagering on the ponies since she was but a wee lass. But I digress.
No, men, the big happening on Saturday is the fight pitting Oscar De La Hoya and Floyd Mayweather Jr. in mortal combat (warning: link contains shirtless dudes). At the house of the House of Georges, we’ll have that bad boy purchased on pay-per-view. The Coronas will be flowing and the guacamole dipping for Cinco De Mayo, and we’ll almost certainly watch De La Hoya win another big fight—just a hunch.
But the big highlight for me will almost certainly be the appearance of Mayweather’s dad, Floyd Sr. This old-timer is the most extreme example of one of my favorite phenomena: Athletic Figures That Look Like The Predator.
It’s time to break down the event that happens on Saturday. No, not the Kentucky Derby, although the Run For The Roses does hold its own allure. It remains the only sporting contest that I regularly watch with my mom. Mom, for all of her puritanical opposition to drinking, drugs, porn and gambling, is a fiend at the track. She grew up within spittin’ distance of Saratoga Springs and has been wagering on the ponies since she was but a wee lass. But I digress.
No, men, the big happening on Saturday is the fight pitting Oscar De La Hoya and Floyd Mayweather Jr. in mortal combat (warning: link contains shirtless dudes). At the house of the House of Georges, we’ll have that bad boy purchased on pay-per-view. The Coronas will be flowing and the guacamole dipping for Cinco De Mayo, and we’ll almost certainly watch De La Hoya win another big fight—just a hunch.
But the big highlight for me will almost certainly be the appearance of Mayweather’s dad, Floyd Sr. This old-timer is the most extreme example of one of my favorite phenomena: Athletic Figures That Look Like The Predator.
I don’t mean to date myself, but I loved Predator. It came out back in 1987, when Schwarzenegger was in his prime, but the supporting cast was what made the movie. Apollo Creed was in there, as was the Governor Of Minnesota, and this big bad ass alien with a fucked-up grill and goofy dreads. He could become invisible and shoot lasers and shit, and apparently he can also train world-class fighters:
And play basketball:
(Courtesy of Pulled My Groin)And football:
Please feel free to submit your own examples in the comments. I think this could someday become its own web site, like this.
0 comments:
Post a Comment