Baseball In The Daytime: Federal Holiday Edition

Light up the Kingsford and pass me a fishin' pole, because it's Memorial Day. The day we honor our nation's fallen warriors by passing out in the back of a pickup. Seriously, men, I hope everyone takes just a little time today to think of why we don't have to work. Think of those kids over in Iraq right now, and those kids that put everything on hold to beat Hitler, and those kids that had to fight each other in a field at Gettysburg. That's some hard core shit, much more so than the meaningless fandom we celebrate here.

But don't get too depressed, fellas, because there is weekday baseball on tap for the masses. It's a little criminal to spend this glorious day inside, so if you have the ability get your ass out to a ballpark and give the umpire a ration of grief. If not, sneak the following games on the radio, or duck inside while you're cleaning the garage (my personal holiday hootenanny, with beer of course).

From the aptly named Great American Ballpark in downtown Cincinnati, we start off with the Pirates and the Reds at 11:15 Mountain. Underrated Ian Snell and properly rated Kyle Lohse get the assignments, and I would expect some dingers. Tune in on XM 184 and DirecTV Extra Innings channel 734.

Ben Sheets takes the field with his fragile wing and first-place Brewers today, against Chuck James and the Braves at noon:05. During the broadcast (on regular old TBS for you cheapos), it will be mentioned that the Braves once played in Milwaukee, and that Hank Aaron is in fact black. Hopefully the roof at Miller Park will be wide open, and you can catch the audio only on XM 186.

More free baseball for basic cable subscribers (so I guess it's not "free") takes place on WGN, where the White Sox travel to the Hubert H. Humphrey Metrodome. That roof will not be open unless something has gone terribly wrong. John Danks, bro takes on the best pitcher in baseball, Johan (Call Me "Ervin" And I Will Kill You) Santana, at 12:10. Seems mismatchy, but Santana has brought out the best in his opposition this season and is only 5-4 despite typically bad ass numbers. If you want to listen dial up 181 on the XM, and if you want any more stupid nicknames you'll have to talk to Chris Berman.

That other Chicago franchise hosts those feisty Florida Marlins at the Friendly Confines at twelve twenty. Why is this game not on WGN? The broadcast/ownership scenarios of the Cubs make my brain hurt. Tune in to DTV 737 or XM 185 for a taste of Ricky Nolasco and Sean Marshall, playas.

Finally, we get some horsehide here in the majesty of Colorado. Somewhere in the vicinity of one o'clock, the defending World Series champion St. Louise Cardinals will play ball with our beloved Rockies at Coors. The home team has been on a bit of a tear since last Sunday, taking two of three from the D'Bags and sweeping the Giants in San Fran for the first time ever. What happened last Sunday? Well, Cecil's boy Mark Kiszla wrote his once-a-year good column, in which he called for the firing of the Rockies' ownership. The purple cobras have been winning one (or five) for the Monforts ever since. Kip Wells and Jeff Francis get the call today, on 850 KOA, whatever frequency KMOX is, and Fox Sports (Rocky Mountain and Midwest, respectively). Not in Denver or St. Lou? DTV 738 and XM 187 on the motherfuckin' cop.

UPDATE: If you have the DirecTV Sports Pack, you can also catch some minor league ball today. Reading and Portland (AA) go at it at 11 on 623, and 643 has Memphis and Round Rock (AAA) at the same time. Looks like that garage may not be as spotless as the wife had hoped.

SECOND UPDATE: The Rockies have a better record than the New York Yankees. Just sayin'.