Tradition Tuesday: The Next Man-Crush

Editor's Note: The rough focus of this blog is the rivalry between the Kansas City Chiefs (represented by the newly betrothed Bankmeister) and the Denver Broncos (championed by Cecil and Old No. 7). It may seem unfair that it's two vs. one, but once KC gets that second Super Bowl we'll even out the delegation.

Seven years ago we started The Tradition, in which the Broncos fans traveled out to the Truman Sports Complex with their team, and the Chef-lovers returned to the Rocky Mountains with theirs. We tailgate, we talk massive amounts of shit, our wives occasionally get assaulted by rival fans, and we almost always watch the visiting team lose. It's a grand old time.

Here at the HoG, we're going to keep The Tradition alive all year long with Tradition Tuesday--a weekly state-of-the-rivalry address.

Today let's go down in the trenches, to a battle that may or may not define this series for years to come. KC signed defensive end Jared Allen to a new contract Monday (sorry for the ESPN link, but Pasquarelli scooped the fuck out of the Star this morning). The drunken maniac does provide a steady and effective pass rush for the Indian Chiefs, something that we Broncos fans know nothing about (the pass rush part, not the DUIs).

Who will keep Allen away from Screamin' Jay? The Broncos' tackle situation could not possibly be more of a mess. George Foster, a colossal first-round draft bust, was benched last season for sucking balls. Once replacement Adam Meadows was injured, Foster returned to the starting lineup, where he was easily the worst player in the NFL last year. He was traded to the Lions (thanks Matt Millen!) and will not be missed.

Moving forward, Meadows returns this season. Matt Lepsis comes back from his knee injury, which is probably karma for ending Terrell Davis' career, and will certainly start. Erik Pears, regardless of his bad ass alma mater, is backup material. There is a need for new blood at this critical position, and it may well exist in the person of the Broncos' third-round draft choice, Ryan Harris.

I grow more enamored with Harris every day. He certainly seems like the prototypical lineman in the Broncos' system, in that he's a good athlete, he's intelligent, and he might have a chip on his shoulder (he dropped to the third round due to concerns about his size). I like that he started 45 games at Notre Dame. I'm sick of trying to win the war in the trenches with projects (Alex Gibbs could do this, and Alex Gibbs is gone)--I want a freaking stud down there to knock Jared Allen into the Gatorade cooler.

Editor's Note: I am contractually obligated to mention that the Denver Bronco O-Line is comprised of cheaters who endanger the careers of defensive players. We're all sure that Ryan Harris is locked in a room somewhere reviewing film of how to break ankles and blow out knees from the side. We're also sure that any myopic Chiefs fan who's still hung up on this outdated notion is fond of sheep.

The downsides to Harris are there, but I choose to ignore them. He did attend Notre Dame, which in this draft was somewhat of a hindrance. We all know about Brady Quinn's first-round freefall, and how Darius Walker went undrafted. Many felt that Notre Dame's success over the last couple seasons were due to Charlie Weiss' magic and a soft schedule that feasted on the likes of Stanford, Michigan State and the military academies. Harris is undersized, and his measurables weren't particularly mind-blowing. He's a bit of an extrovert, and he talks about a career in politics after football. Around here we want our big uglies to be seen and not heard.

Finally, there is the issue that Harris is a Muslim. I have no beef with any religion, but we went through this with Ephraim Salaam, specifically the fast at Ramadan. I hate having a tackle who struggles to keep weight on forced to fast for a month in the middle of football season. I guarantee that Jared Allen isn't fasting, and that he doesn't believe in any God at all. All Jared Allen cares about is drinking, fucking and killing Jay Cutler. We need someone who can counteract this dedication.