Baseball In The Daytime: Opening Day!

Hail fucking Jesus. After an interminable winter, our nation turns its lonely eye to you, baseball. Woo woo woo. Today's slate is jammed full of day games and dynamite pitching matchups, as it's pretty much ace vs. ace across the board. Now, "ace" is a relative term, as Mark Hendrickson is scheduled to throw as well.

In the past I've loaded this space with all of the channels and frequencies you need to watch and listen to day games. This is a public service to both those who like to blow off wide swaths of man-hours at work (like me) and the chronically unemployed (like you, and Banky). There are some new advancements in the field of baseball intake, however, that have overwhelmed my limited ability to help you out, so please bookmark the following links:

XM Radio MLB game schedule

DirecTV Extra Innings schedule Available this year: satellite feeds from both the home and road teams' broadcasts and ten times more HD games--awesome.

MLB.TV entry page

I encourage you, horsehide freaks, to set aside a few hard-earned sawbucks for one or more of these services. It is absolutely nuts how easy it is to tap into almost constant baseball content these days. But even if your only means of access is the old transistor radio headphone routed up the sleeve, here's your Opening Day slate...

KC @ Detroit, 11:05 Mountain The underrated Gil Meche takes on Justin Verlander, the young master who's my pick for the AL Cy Young.

Toronto @ NY Yankees, 11:05 Roy Halladay, who in my opinion committed treason by signing a contract with a Canadian club, faces 80s pop icon and trendy SoHo nightspot Wang40. This is the last Opening Day in the history of old Yankee Stadium, which isn't really that old as it was completely rebuilt in the mid-70s. Regardless, expect lots of weeping over the fate of the Stadium, Bobby Murcer and Bob Shepherd. Soon they'll all pass away.

Arizona @ Cincinnati, 12:10 When I was a kid, the season always started in Cincinnati. They had a parade and everything. But those dumb traditions expire (for God's sake, they let teams other than Dallas and Detroit host Thanksgiving games now) and now the Reds game is pushed back behind a three-ring circus of Japanese morning games. On the hill at the deceptively corporate Great American Ballpark: Brandon Webb and Aaron Harang. And you will get a Reds lineup preview out of me before it's said and done, I'm predicting these guys will be good.

Milwaukee @ Chicago Cubs, 12:20 This one's lookin' iffy, as it's raining on the North Side, but what better omen could you have in the 100th anniversary season of the Cubs' last championship? Ben Sheets and Big Z toe the rubber, and fans better bring rubbers of their own.

Bay-Rays @ Baltimore, 1:05 This is one of the lousier pitching slates of the afternoon. James Shields and Jeremy Guthrie aren't bad by any means, but it's easy to get spoiled by hot ace-on-ace action.

Chicago White Sox @ Cleveland, 1:05 Mark Buehrle, whose name I can spell with ease thanks to a full season of writing Baseball In The Daytime, faces C.C. Sabathia, last year's AL Cy Younger.

Washington @ Philadelphia, 1:05 Congratulations, Nationals! You opened your new ballpark last night with a thrilling two-out, bottom-of-the-ninth walk-off jack by your franchise player! What do you win? A day game today on the road against wife abuser Brett Myers! No respect, I tell ya. But I guess when your No. 2 starter is Matt Chico, you don't deserve any. Let me reiterate--the schedule to start this season is fucked in the face.

San Francisco @ LA Dodgers, 2:10 I'm going to go ahead and pencil Barry Zito in for the first of the Giants' many, many losses this season. Congrats, Brad Penny. You owe me one.

NY Mets @ Florida, 2:10 Johan Santana's NL debut will take place in front of a huge South Florida crowd. Seriously, they could top a thousand, and I hope the elderly ushers at Dolphins Stadium can handle the crush. I have less faith in Mark Hendrickson handling the Mets' lineup.

Colorado @ St. Louis, 2:15 The Milwaukee Braves had a top-heavy pitching staff back in the 50s, and the hip slang was "Spahn and Sain and pray for rain." The Cardinals, who'll field a rotation of Adam Wainwright and four hobos they found at a bus stop, might go with "Wainwright, and then four days of rain, right?" Thanks, I'll be here all week. Please tip your servers and bartenders, and give Jeff Francis a hand--he's the Opening Day starter for your defending National League champions.

Texas @ Seattle, 4:40 This one barely slides in to BITD consideration, unless you're on the West Coast--damn Rocky Mountain bias. Kevin Milwood squares off against the newly acquired fireballin' lefty Erik Bedard. Winner gets first place for a day in the AL West.

Enjoy your holiday, kids, and make sure you send in those preseason picks--Play Ball!