We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday: The Girls of SI; Online!

Okay, ladies and douches, it's late -- but, let's be serious. I mean it. Alright, we're not putting Arnold on the ballot, but we may as well. Right? I mean every politician's the same. Aren't they?

No?

I know. I agree, too. They're unique and invested. Please allow me to be the first to tell you that this week's installment is, in fact, no different -- unique and invested.

The work done here at the House of Georges isn't easy. Bullshit? I beg you, coveted reader, to re-consider.

You see, some time ago, when the HoG was but a mere fetus on the Blogosphere, we posted a WAHCW installement that featured a retro re-visit of a number of ladies that I'd be willing to bet were significant influences on our life. I really would.

If you're with me this far, check out the post-jump goodies.

Basically, it breaks down like this: The annual Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue has been out for nearly one month. That said, reporting on it now is, how do you say in English "old news"? I'm unsure of the answer to that, but I do know this: It's out. It's available now online in a larger viewing capacity than any print edition I've ever imagined in my short existence here on ol' Planet Earth. And, well, frankly, it's breathtaking. For real.

So, the challenge is this: Out of three dozen-plus models/cheerleaders/body-paint volunteers, how do you decide the who the cream of the crop is?

I'd like to say that answer is simple: You leave it to your trustworthy HoG. But, on the contrary, "easy" is the last word I would select in that decision-making process. It was anything but. Originally, it was to be a "Top Three" post; one that included honorable mention(s). Even that was damn near impossible. So, this is what we're offering instead: The Top Seven.

And they go a little something like this (Editor's Note: All disagreements are willingly and understably accepted):

Number Seven: Julie Henderson



Yes. Keeping it here in the states is Julie.



She's cozy and comfy in our very own Orlando, Florida,



a state, you couldn't pay me enough money to live and work in (Update: Yes, you could), she's keepin' it real. And by "real," I mean "Somebody help me if this is as 'bad' as it gets."

Number Six: Marisa Miller



I know, I know. She's the seasoned veteran of the entire lot,



she's this year's cover girl, and hey -- cans.



I got it. But, like I said, the talent pool was swimming this year. All in the deep end, even. Even if it's in beautful St. John's, United States Virgin Islands.

Number Five: Bar Refaeli



Like her colleagues, Bar was a hard talent to spot. She's gorgeous.



She's hot. She's kickin' it in Caesarea, Israeal.



And, yes, she's got the look. Believe me, when I tell you, this is the best we could possibly do at this level. Bless you, Bar. Bless you.

Number Four: Daniella Sarahyba



Now, I've only met a few Daniellas in my day,



and, make no mistake, every last one of them was hot.



I've never met one in Grand Cayman, Cayman Islands, but even as hot as Schnapp's-laden cider at a December Broncos game at InVesCo, none have been as hot as this Daniella. She should've swept the competition, if only it weren't for her own competition. Sheesh...

Number Three: Melissa Baker, a.k.a., "The Rook"



Don't get me wrong when I say that Melissa Baker drove/drives me absolutely batty.



She's like the New-World Kathy Ireland, only hotter, sexier, and BLAM!



Her style is impeccable, she's also a fan of St. John's,



and her talent unbelievable. But, being that she's a rook', we have to believe she can sweep the competition repeatedly in the future. In the meantime...

Number Two: Ana Beatriz Barros



Miss Barros has, what we like to call, the knack...



that is, the knack for making any damn thing,



and every damn thing, sexy as hell.



She, too, is a veteran at the SI gig, and this might just be the year she locked in her swimsuit-model status



as unforgettable. Well, San Juan del Sur, Nicaragua helped, but barely.

This, of course, leaves us with...

Number One: Irina Shayk



Coming to us live from St. Petersburg, Russia, and very much in charge of the entire issue



is Miss Shayk.



The HoG always tries to avoid the cliche,



but sometimes that task is unavoidable.



Irina's eyes, poses, looks, suits,



and overall astonishing charisma left us with no choice but to crown her as the queen.

And there you have it. Expect no more posts from these bloggers for the next, say, 11 and-a-half months, due to sheer exhaustion.

Not really, but

(All photos courtesy of Sports Illustrated).