Lineup Against The Wall: Kansas City Royals

Hey, another day, another soon-to-be-forgotten regular feature! Welcome to Lineup Against The Wall (I know, it's horrible, please send suggestions), where we'll take a look at the offensive capabilities of every most a few teams I feel like talking about.

We'll get to the playoff contenders as well as the Yankees soon enough, but first we must engage in a little affirmative action. That's right, it's a forced discussion about the Royals to pander to our legion of Kauffmanite readers. I'm just kidding, Kansas City. I actually like your club this year. The managerial hire was excellent, you got roid cheat Jose Guillen on the cheap, and your young hitters are promising. When I'm in Arizona later this month I may actually attend one of your games (Editor's Note: Blatant lie.).

So follow me, recovering George Brett freaks, to the 2008 Royals one through nine...

First of all I must note that my lineups for this series are Proposed. In some cases I'll use full-squad spring training lineups, in others I'll rely on always-accurate Interwebs research, and in still others I'll just make 'em up. Don't worry if Mike Sweeney is missing, he actually doesn't play for your team any more.

1. David DeJesus CF
2. Mark Grudzielanek 2B
3. Mark Teahen LF
4. Jose Guillen RF
5. Billy Butler DH
6. Alex Gordon 3B
7. Ross Gload 1B
8. John Buck C
9. Tony Pena Jr. SS

Just a warning, kids--there's a legitimate chance that Ross Gload could start the season batting third. Thanks to Guillen's pending suspension and the fact that Teahen is really not very good, the veteran Gload may drop into the 3-hole for a while. Now any baseball fan will tell you that that's not a good thing. Gload in your 3-hole is actually a symptom of syphilis, but it also signals that you're not ready for the American League.

But things could brighten significantly with a little luck. Guillen could return and rake. Butler and Gordon could turn into stars. They could make Butler a first baseman, and find another DH. Teahen and DeJesus could quit trying to justify their hype--they never will--and mature as professional hitters. There's nothing wrong with working a few counts, thinking about situations, and settling on the 15 home runs you're clearly capable of, guys. You'll never hit 30.

Those are pipe-dream what-ifs, however. Realistically, the Royals could make their mark if new skipper Trey Hillman decides to run and run and run. I don't care if that's not his style. I don't care if DeJesus and TPJ aren't as fast as Jose Reyes or Michael Bourn. Send 'em. Run Gordon and Guillen if the scenario dictates. Take a page from Mike Scoscia, who runs everyone all the time. Don't wait around for the home run that almost certainly is not coming.

This team has a chance to score 800-plus runs. That's five a game, y'all, a bunch more than the 706 they plated last year to finish next-to-last in the AL. A couple of guys will have to have career years, they'll have to be creative and gin up a run a game through good baserunning, but the possibility is there. Combine that with another pipe dream, a sub-5.00 ERA, and you could find a .500 ballclub in downtown Kansas City. I know they play out on the side of the highway, I'm just saying that from time to time they surely congregate downtown. Maybe I'm wrong.

Update: Those are the new powder blue alternate jerseys your Royals will sport from time to time. I'm a fan of the concept, but they ought to have left the script on the front white, outlined in Royal blue (like the numbers and name on the back already are). It would look more like the old gear, but updated. I also can not fucking believe that they're wearing these shirts with white pants. Ghetto...