Thursday, March 27, 2008

Lineup Against The Wall: Cleveland Indians

Following yesterday's analysis of Who Sucks? in MLB, it was pointed out to me that I'm now obligated to present the other side of that coin. As in, who's like good? I'll take this assignment, but I'm also passing the buck to you, our loathed treasured reader. After the jump, please follow the instructions to participate in our huge Season Preview Orgy Fantastico.

And, oh by the way, read about your 2008 Cleveland Indians, one through nine...

1. Grady Sizemore CF
2. Asdrubal Cabrera 2B
3. Pronk DH
4. Victor Martinez C
5. Ryan Garko 1B
6. Jhonny Peralta SS
7. Franklin Gutierrez RF
8. Jason Michaels LF
9. Casey Blake 3B

I can see how, if you're a fan of either an NL or second-division AL team, this exercise might be frustrating. Because lineups like this are a joke. And Cleveland's batting order is actually less lethal than those in Detroit and The Bronx.

What you have here is a lot of transition, guys moving up or down a peg from last year. Sizemore and Martinez are franchise talents, although I think both will eventually morph into less dynamic players. Sizemore will embrace a more traditional middle-of-the-order role, and Martinez will find a new home elsewhere on the diamond. Both, however, provide massive offensive advantages at their respective positions.

Pronk had an off year by his standards, but I fully expect a return to his sweaty goliath ways. Garko, on the other hand should regress--he's not as good of a pure hitter as he showed in '07 and pitchers will catch up to him.

Peralta and Blake are not consistent hitters, but if either gets hot they can be scary. At some point Andy Marte may live up to his hype and take Blake's job.

Gutierrez and, to a lesser extent, Cabrera, are on their way. Both display more professionalism than they ought to at this stage of their careers.

The bench is nice as well, with supersub jamey Carroll coming over from the Rockies and teaming with David Delucci. Both provide versatility, clutch hitting and a late-game spark.

They can't hit like the Tigers, but their superior pitching means that the Indians will hang with Detroit all year.

HUGE SEASON PREVIEW ORGY FANTASTICO

All right, ladies and gentlemen, here's your chance to participate in our user-generated baseball webgasm. Simply take out an 8 1/2 by 11 sheet of paper, and write down your picks for the following:

NL West Champion
NL Central Champion
NL East Champion
AL West Champion
AL Central Champion
AL East Champion

Wild Card team for each league
Pennant winners and World Series Champion
MVP and Cy Young winner for each league

Then transfer the picks to an e-mail and throw that piece of paper away. Or recycle it. Whatever. Send those picks to houseofgeorges@gmail.com, and do it now. The season already started, slackers.

4 comments:

Unknown said...

Not sure about Pronk. With 'roids getting harder and harder to get ahold of, I wouldn't expect a return to his 42 dinger form.

Cecil said...

I'm just curious what Humberto has to say about this.

Unknown said...

Alright gents,

I sat down and started to thumb through MLB bullshit to make my picks. I just can't do it. I've got the time, but not the heart. MLB is so fucked I just can't acknowledge it as a legitimately competitive league.

I'm of the opinion that MLB should have been forced to take a year off in order to straighten out their rampant drug problem.

Now, don't get me wrong, I love the Royals. I always will. It's an unfortunate result of growin' up in a MLB city. I just think MLB is a joke, and the Selig dick-lickin' fans that are in denial only prolong this ugly sebatical in our former pastime's great history.

Picks? I'll take the teams with the bucks and the most clever steroid/HGH users/suppliers.

Ummm ... how' bout the Yankees and the Red Sox in the ALCS? Does that sound a little crazy? Well, that's how I roll.

Oh, and then I'll go with the Mets from the NL ... crazy, huh?

Wake up folks. Please, wake up.

Cheers,

TLR

Cecil said...

Man, you're killin' our game here.

Baseball is fucked up. Pro sports are fucked up. For that, amateur sports are fucked up.

Sports, it follows, are pretty goshdarned screwed. To heap it all on baseball is to ignore it everywhere else, especially your beloved soccer. Which is ridden with steroidal giants.