Dear God: Thank You. No, Really. We're All Thanking God. Literally.

I may or may not have more to say about this in the coming weeks days hours, but for now -- and in case I never get around to it -- here's a great synopsis.

/also thanks baby Jesus, Christmas Ape
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Tradition Tuesday: Why I Hate the Homer Pick, Version Denver

The rough focus of this blog is the rivalry between the Denver Broncos and the Kansas City Chiefs, but you hopefully already knew that. Tradition Tuesday is our weekly state-of-the-rivalry address, and you might've already known that, too, but since we overlooked the feature last week, I thought I'd throw out a friendly reminder.

With the draft a few weeks behind us, it occurred to me that we might have a look at the local drafting tendencies of our two clubs over the years, and after the jump, we'll look at Denver's.

What follow is a list of players that have been on the Denver roster that attended a Colorado college. The list does not imply that the Broncos drafted these guys, but in some cases, it might. Those italicized appear so because they logged at least three seasons in a Denver uniform, somehow deeming their contribution(s) to the franchise meaningful. I've stated my opinion on drafting locally in the past, so we'll open up the comments to our large audiences. But just this once.

Anderson, Robert, Colorado University: played for Denver from 1970-73, wore #11, HB

Bernardi, Frank, CU: played for Denver in 1960, wore #63, DB

Bradford, Ronnie, CU: played for Denver from 1993-95, wore #23, DB

Brunelli, Sam, Colorado State University: played for Denver from 1966-71, wore #s 64,68, 72, G

Brunson, Larry, CU: played for Denver in 1980, wore # 82, WR

Campbell, Jeff, CU: played for Denver in 1994, wore #86, WR

Dennison, Rick, CSU: played for Denver from 1982-90, wore #55, LB

Denvir, John, CU: played for Denver in 1962, wore #65, G

Elfrid, Jim, CSU: played for Denver in 1961, wore #62, LB

Goodman, Harvey, CU: played for Denver in 1976, wore #64, G

Haggerty, Steve, CU: played for Denver in 1975, wore #22, DB

Haynes, Mark, CU: played for Denver from 1986-89, wore #36, CB

Henson, Gary, CU: played for Denver in 1964, wore #89, TE

Holland, Darius, CU: played for Denver in 2003, wore #90, DT

Keyworth, Jon, CU: played for Denver from 1974-80, wore #32, RB

Knapple, Jeff, University of Northern Colorado: played for Denver in 1980, wore #16, QB

Larson, Bill, CSU: played for Denver in 1980, wore #87, TE

Lepsis, Matt, CU, played for Denver from 1997-2007, wore #78, T

Logan, Dave, CU: played for Denver in 1984, wore #89, WR

McCullough, Robert V., CU: played for Denver from 1962-65, wore #67, G

McCutcheon, Lawrence, CSU: played for Denver in 1980, wore #33, RB

McGreger, Keli, CSU: played for Denver in 1985, wore #89, TE

McMillin, James R., CSU: played for Denver from 1960-62, '64-65, wore #45, DB

Montler, Mike, CU: played for Denver in 1977, wore #52, C

Moorehead, Emery, CU: played for Denver in 1980, wore #86, WR/RB

Norman, Ben, CSU: played for Denver in 1980, wore #38, RB

Perkins, James W., CU: played for Denver from 1962-64, wore #71, T

Pickens, Lyle, CU: played for Denver in 1987, wore #26, DB

Pritchard, Mike, CU: played for Denver from 1994-95, wore #81, WR

Reed, Leo T., CSU: played for Denver in 1961, apparently didn't have a #, T

Reed, Tony, CU: played for Denver in 1981, wore #32, RB

Rouen, Tom, CU: played for Denver from 1993-2001, wore #16, P

Sapp, Cecil, CSU: played for Denver from 2003-07, wore #37, RB

Schnitker, Mike, CU: played for Denver from 1969-74, wore #64, G

Short, Laval, CU: played for Denver in 1980, wore #63, DT

Smith, Ed, Colorado College: played for Denver from 1973-75, wore #75, DE

Smith, Perry, CSU: played for Denver from 1980-81, wore #45, DDB

Stransky, Robert J., CU: played for Denver in 1960, wore #22, HB

Stuber, Tim, CSU: played (?) for Denver in 2004, wore #63, G

Sykes, Jashon, CU: played for Denver from 2003-04, wore # 57, LB

White, Jim, CSU: played for Denver in 1976, wore #78, DE

Williams, Alfred, CU: played for Denver from 1996-99, wore #91, DE

Work, Jack, Denver University: played for Denver in 1960, wore #58, DB

Wright, Lonnie, CSU: played for Denver from 1966-67, wore #42, DB

**miscellaneous debris**

Graham, Daniel, CU: played for Denver for the past two seasons, but drafted by New England, wears #89, TE

McChesney, Matt, CU: is currently on the Denver roster, but drafted by the Jets, wears #60, DT

Polumbus, Tyler, CU: is currently on the Denver roster wearing #76, T

Pears, Erik, CSU: played for Denver from 2006-07, wore #64, T

Oldenburg, Clint, CSU: is currently on the Denver roster wearing #71, T

Save, Bryan, CSU: maybe was on the Denver roster in 2006 wearing #79, DT

Van Pelt, Bradlee, CSU: was apparently only on the Denver roster in 2005, wore #11, QB

Ultimately, there are 51 past and present Denver Bronco players that attended a Colorado institution of higher learning. Thirteen logged significant time with the club, and, in my humble opinion, the important ones total four: Sam Brunelli, Rick Dennison, Matt Lepsis, and Tom Rouen. The argument could be made for Robert Anderson, and I know that Cecil Sapp is sort of a favorite, and a few labii swolled over the BVP, but going with my 4/51 suggestion -- and yes, that's all that it is, a suggestion -- a seven percent success ratio isn't doing anyone any favors.
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Thursday Think Tank

Yes, it's only a visit, but it's worth noting that USC E.A.-humper Ray Maualuga is slated to visit with the Chiefs today. This of course means next to nothing in terms of distinct draft-day possibilities, but
it should be noted for various reasons. Reasons such as:

1) The rough focus of this blog is the rivalry between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Denver Broncos.

2) It's no secret that Cecil is the House of Georges' draft wizard.

3) The last time I mentioned Maualuga's name, Cecil mentioned that the Chiefs basically don't deserve him.

4) Alleged "brainy trusts" already have a quarterback, which, may or may not've ticked someone in Dove Valley off a bit.

5) The last sentence of that post reads, "Maualuga’s other visits include trips to see the Browns, Dolphins, Chargers, Titans, Falcons, Saints, 49ers, and Rams," which translates to "not Denver," and that rules and stuff. Of course, there's always the token remember-that-this-is-Pro-Football-Talk caveat.

Ultimately, though, it's just a visit. And if there's any accuracy to PFT, it's one of nine visits.

Your assignment, handsome/abundant readers, is to, in the comments just like you always do, let us know how important pre-draft visits are, and how many Maualuga licks you imagine it takes to get to the center of a Kyle Orton.
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Tradition Tuesday: Scoping the Choncosphere: 3-25-2008

Welcome back for only the second another installment of "Scoping the Choncosphere", where the House of Georges takes a peek at what's goin' down in both Bronco Country and Chiefs Nation. This feature always promises breaking news headlines, professional and objective scopes, and, if we can help it, a few chuckles, even if they are in reaction to the first half of this sentence. We are, nevertheless, here to bring you the scoop on Chiefs/Broncos football, and that's what we aim to do, even if we do it in the form of a link dump. The drill, as it's come to be known, unfolds after the jump. Enjoy.

Where to start, o where to start with the Orange and Blue. I suppose we'll start with the most straight-forward bit, a scoop we're clearly the first to break, as no other sporting agent has yet to report on it. Someone, an offensive lineman who I used to know as Casey Wiegmann -- he's dead to me now, though -- has taken pen to paper, and done the impermissible. What a jackass. That is, way to piss away seven solid seasons, to only be now recognized as a nothing.

Elsewhere in Bronco news, the former Mrs. Horse-Faced Colts Draft has sold some acreage to La Familia Raton. And, it is, allegedly, a doozy, both in terms of the transaction, and the estate that will be. Apparently, Janet, Miss Nasty if you're lucky, was awarded the lot as part of the divorce settlement, while Tanahan's wife Peggy, has some elaborate plans for the homestead:

It includes three Jacuzzis, an 80-square-foot steam room, a 108-square-foot sauna, a 2,299-square-foot heated garage, a 2,100-square-foot swimming pool, a 165-square-foot hot tub. It was built in 2000 and has slate mission tile on the roof.

Two buildings are on the land, one with three bedrooms and six fireplaces; the other with two bedrooms.

The first building has 7,733 square feet, a 7,272-square-foot open porch, a 2,857-square-foot terrace and a 2,353-square-foot wood balcony. The second home has 1,089 square feet.

Also in the plans for the 35,000-square-foot home in the posh Cherry Hills Village suburb are a bowling alley, a poker room, a video-golf room and a kids' arcade. It will have at least six bedrooms, including a master suite with his-and-hers closets. That story embodies cute. And by "cute," I of course mean this. I'm sure these plans are totally unrelated to Uncle Mike's firing of the Broncos' decision to let GM Ted Sundquist go.

In slightly less-gay, more hilariousish Denver Bronco news, is the agility/athleticism of wide receiver Brandon Marshall. For those who haven't read the news, Marshall allegedly slipped on a McDonald's to go back, put his arm through the glass of an entertainment center, and, uh, got a boo boo that will leave him in a cast for two weeks.

Uh. Yeah. That and some post-touchdown snow throwing will get you 15 yards for unsportsmanlike conduct/being a total 'tard. Nice work, B-Marsh. This sort of injury doesn't sound familiar to me at all.

In Chiefs news, Herm Edwards is claiming -- without claiming -- that there's been some tampering going on. I suppose he's irked because, after 10 picks in the upcoming draft, Kansas City apparently needs to tack on an additional 20. Good thing for Herm there's no roster limit for the Chiefs. Oh, and good thing he's never been accused of tampering himself. Sorry, Cecil, for the PK link.

Elsewhere in Chiefs news, Defensive Coordinator Gunther Cunningham will also take on the responsibility of coaching the linebackers. Logistically speaking, I have no idea what this might mean. Historically, the Chiefs had a stellar D when Gun had a more hands-on role as DC. Ultimately, the one truth I can give you is that the more power you give this feisty old codger, the more sheer entertainment you're going to get, in one form or another.

Finally, Herm has told the papers that the Chiefs will strongly consider selecting a quarterback in next month's draft, which of course would mean Kansas City really puts the youth-movement stamp on their roster and enters the season with three under-25 QBs. Yikes.

And that's a wrap. I now turn the readership loose, free and able to scour the CyberSpaces for Chiefs/Broncos news not broken here on the HoG.
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Hard Knocks Review: Episode II

Episode II of HBO's "Hard Knocks: Training Camp With the Kansas City Chiefs" aired last night. Though the energy of the program wasn't as high as week one, it was still pretty darn excellent. The focus this week was the depth chart, coaches obsessions with it and its ever-changing status. This installment was more about getting into the mindset of the coaching staff, giving the viewing audience a glimpse into the decision-making processes coaches undergo while at camp. It was pretty educational. There are certainly some highlights to discuss, and we'll get to them, just as soon as I've singled out the most important one: we finally got to see some footage/hear the voice of TLR's favorite Chief coach (Offensive Coordinator), Mike Solari.



Let me bring those of you that aren't familiar with the scenario up to speed. TLR does a pretty good job of paying attention to Kansas City sports from his cozy Adirondack cabin up in the land of non-American bacon. He's a few clicks and chimes from receiving his PhD in salmon conservation or something equally useless. Don't get the wrong idea. He's an extremely intelligent kid and he'll probably be involved in some marine biology-related epidemic that saves the whales, dolphins and humans all at the same time. His greatest fault, however, is that he's that guy. Yeah. The armchair GM/Head Coach/Director of Scouting/Chief of Officiating/President of the Player's Union/League Commissioner all rolled into one.

I'll stick to his most recent poster-child example: Operation Fire Mike Solari. TLR is the president, VP, treasurer and sole member of this organization. And he founded it in like week 11 of last year's football season. The crux of it all came in this forgettable memory when TLR called my cell phone nothing shy of 37.4 times, all to bitch about Solari and our non-existent offensive gameplan. What TLR failed to notice, finally (months later) admitted, and now insists upon ignoring is that this guy promoted him to that position, and it is said promoter's philosophy that both coordinators must adhere to. Furthermore, it was Solari's first year as a coordinator. Give the guy a flippin' break. That's all I'm going to say about it. It was nice to see his presence on Hard Knocks. Peek at the comments for the usual "run-run-pass/predictable" criticisms that TLR will dish out to defend his can-Solari campaign.

Other highlights of last night's episode:


The Tank and the Turk. Yes. They were both highlights, comically and performance-wise. Sort of. Tank, the fatass third-round pick draft pick out of North Carolina State who was filmed falling asleep in the classroom in last week's episode, has been, in addition to keeping roommate Turk awake with thunderous snoring, he's been tearing up the fields of both camp and pre-season game number one. Turk, on the other hand, was not the kind of highlight Chiefs Nation wanted to see. The second-rounder out of Tennessee was shown being dominated on the practice field and cramping up/getting winded in the game against the Browns. Effin' sweet.

Dwayne Bowe

I was pretty stoked to see the inclusion of Bowe's field-goal-post taping and dousing. Reading about it in the paper was one thing; hearing him complain to one-time Bronco Eddie Kennison about not being able to feel his arms and ribs was dadgummed hysterical. As far as on-the-field performance, Bowe is huge, he is ripped and he has got to improve his hands. I'm confident he will, but that was a bit disturbing.

Other worthy notes:

1) Nice to see Justin Medlock put one through the uprights after missing several consecutive attempts. Does anyone know what the coaching staff was thinking when they decided not to bring in any competition for the guy?

2) Gunther Cunninham. The dude is my idol. He's going to have this D in top-notch shape by mid-season. I, for one, am amped about that.

3) Boomer Grigsby. His transition to fullback has me watering at the mouth. Let's hope he can stay healthy.

4) Herm told the guys not to wear all their jewelry for the travel to Cleveland. Brodie Croyle informed everyone that that wouldn't be a problem for him as he' "not that into 'blink'."

5) Kyle Turley. He gets a half-nod for just being the piece of work that he is. Not to shabby on the six-string acoustic either.

That sums it up. Pop back in next Thursday for a review of Episode III.


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The HoG's Totally Uninformed Baseball Draft Preview

The MLB Draft starts at noon, and so I'm going to break it down now knowing that it will soon be outdated. I'm going to focus on the Royals, picking 2nd in the first round, and the Rockies, picking 8th, because those are our hometown teams and they need the help. I'm sure Dan O'Dowd and Dayton Moore read this blog and will take the advice given.

I put in five solid minutes of Interweb research here, so I'm an authority on the subject.

After David Price goes No. 1 to the D'Rays, the Royals will have a decision. They're notoriously cheap and they traditionally shy away from Boras guys who'll demand big bonuses. ESPN's Keith Law says that under Moore, however, this may change, and they might even draft honest good players after the third round instead of taking cheap losers they can sign for a thousand bucks. They seriously did this for years, and you can see the result.

Anyway, this draft is loaded with third basemen, and it looks like the best available guy for KC will be a hot corner. Yes, they have Alex Gordon there, but with the second pick you don't quibble about position. There's no guarantee that Gordon will evolve into an All-Star, and most young 3Bs can move to first or a corner outfield spot.

Law has Josh Vitters going to the Royals. Vitters is from Anaheim and played for Cypress High. He definitely fits the mold of a guy who could move across the infield diamond, and he has it all in the batter's box--no idea if he can run or not. A no-brainer pick. A consolation prize may be Matt Dominguez, another California high school 3B from porn capital Chatsworth.

At No. 8 sit your Colorado Rockies. The franchise has taken a pitcher in the first round every year of their existence save for four: 1B Todd Helton in '95 (that worked out), 3B Ian Stewart in '03 (he's supposed to be the jewel of the farm system and a future megastar), SS Chris Nelson in '04 (no clue), and Troy Tulowitski in '05 (already up with the big club and looking great). Last year they went back to the mound and took Stanford product Greg Reynolds.

Who might fall to the Rox is anybody's guess, as the baseball draft is a huge riddle due to signability issues. There's a kid named Phillipe Aumont on the radar, but he's projected to go earlier. Plus, they already took a Canadian pitcher in the first-round once (Jeff Francis in '02), and even though he and Larry Walker have worked out we don't need any more of those guys in Colorado. In fact, we should be sending unsavory Coloradoans to Canada with more regularity.

Other possibilities include Daniel Moskos, a hard-throwing lefty closer from Clemson who projects as a starter in pro ball. Mike Moustakas is a current shortstop and HS teammate of Dominguez in Chatsworth. He may be my favorite, as he could possibly convert to catcher. I love guys with that kind of versatility. He also pitches and brings 93-97 mph heat. Awesome. I don't know why so many of these guys have Greek surnames, but if they are as good as Kevin Youkilis of Kevin Kouzmanoff I'll take it.

I've been hearing great things about this kid Jason Heyward, a high school centerfielder from Georgia. That's who Law projects for the Rockies. He's not quite a five-tool guy, as he doesn't have blazing speed, but he seems like a hard worker. Someone on XM Home Plate last week said that he's tremendously mature for a rural kid, which seems like a sweet description. Go get him.

I may post updates, or a may watch some porn from Chatsworth. We'll see.

Update: KC threw everyone a curve and took my boy Moustakas. Awfully high for a guy without a clear-cut position or big power, but hey, they're the Royals. The Cubs ended up with Vitters at 3, while the Rockies just took Price's Vanderbilt teammate Casey Weathers at 8. ESPN says he's the most major-league-ready reliever in the draft and could easily be up later this year, but ESPN is a bunch of fucking liars and you can't trust 'em. The French Canadian kid is still on the board, thank heavens. This draft is much, much faster than the NFL version.

Second update: Five minutes a pick. Brilliant. I'm not watching, as I'm at work, but I hav been following the excellent Baseball Prospectus live blog--those guys know their shit.

Third update: The Canadian, Aumont, went to Seattle, which is virtually in Canada. We can all rest easy now. The Red Sox don't pick in the first round, but I have no idea why. You can't trade draft picks in baseball, but you give yours up if you sign other teams' free agents, and they have "sandwich" picks that come from somewhere, and it's all a bunch of gibberish. Read more

Preview This

When the Blizzard got a building permit for this House and we started to erect it, I was adamant about one thing. I didn't want to feel compelled to cover anything, save for The Tradition. For instance, TO is going to say some shit, and thousands of sports opiners are going to weigh in on it. If I have a mandate to do the same how original or insightful is my input going to be? Fuck that. We throw ink at what needs it and let the rest of the world cover the mandatory beats.

This stance is all well and good, but I apparently underestimated the HoG's thunderous power. We now have legions, nay, battalions, of loyal readers who demand our unmatched wit and wisdom on all sorts of topics. If Bankmeister goes two days without breaking down Stanley Cup playoff tape, the masses file a class action suit. The people have spoken, and they want much, much more tasty HoG-flavored man sauce.

Specifically, previews. Everybody wants you to make a pick. I get this, as I myself love it when those who proclaim themselves experts make predictions that turn out horribly inaccurate. That's funny. So I'll play along, to an extent, and prognosticate on all sorts of bullshit.

Today a few things are going to happen. One is the beginning of the NHL Finals, where the Otaawaa Senators will try to knock off the Mighty Ducks of Los Anaheim. The...actually, I'm being informed that that sport is already over. Basketball? Didn't that end last week? I'd forgotten all about basketball. Apparently it's the NBA Finals tonight, and I'm going to preview it. Bitch all you want about my lack of enthusiasm for or knowledge about the Association, but we did assign guest columns recently to not one but two fellows. Both of these cats comment regularly and are huge NBA guys, and both shrunk from this challenge like balls in a glass of ice water. So you're stuck with me. Deal with it.

We also have some baseball to digest, of the amateur aluminum-bat variety no less. Today brings us the first-ever televised MLB Draft, and I'm sure the boys at the four-letter network will do their level best to ruin this formerly cool event. And we sit on the eve of the College World Series in Omaha, Nebraska, which I'm told is pretty rad. I know next to nothing about the ins and outs of high school and/or college baseball, but, again, the pressure from our audience is excruciating. I'll hit that too.

And what are my colleagues doing whilst I cater to your every whim and desire? I don't know. Bankmeister acts as though posting a few photos of boobs is like putting out alpine wildfires, and he's probably done for the week. Cecil is looking for the Yeti in the wilds of Bangladesh, and he may appear come Sunday. I hope so, because I'm going fishing this weekend and not watching sports of any kind. See ya soon.

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Tradition Tuesday: Herman's Mixtape (and more!)

Editor's Note: The rough focus of this blog is the rivalry between the Kansas City Chiefs (heralded by Bankmeister) and the Denver Broncos (championed by Cecil and Old No. 7). It may seem unfair that it's two vs. one, but once KC gets that second Super Bowl we'll even out the delegation.

Seven years ago we started The Tradition, in which Bronco fans travel out to the Truman Sports Complex with their team, and Chef-lovers return to the Rocky Mountains with theirs. We tailgate, we talk massive amounts of shit, our wives occasionally get assaulted by rival fans, and we almost always watch the visiting team lose. It's a grand old time.

Here at the HoG, we're going to keep The Tradition alive all year long with Tradition Tuesday--a weekly state-of-the-rivalry address.

IT'S A HARD KNOCK LIFE FOR US

In delightful news for The Tradition, the Kansas City Chiefs will be featured in this year's edition of the HBO show Hard Knocks. I can barely hide my glee over the notion that Herman will be regularly broadcast in unedited form, even though he is the rarest form of comedian: one that does not rely on vulgarity to get a laugh. I myself am a lousy comic, as my punch lines generally consist of multiple fuckity-fuck-fucks, the word pus and a graphic description of ass-boning a donkey.

Check out the video clip here. My blog-publishing skills, much like my comedy skills, are miniscule. I can not embed YouTube in my posts, and it fucking pisses me off. Sure, I could learn, but I could also volunteer to help retarded kids. Not happening. Watch the clip, which is bursting at the seams with good stuff. It has Herman, in all his nonsensical glory ("I'm a big believer in The Shield," he says). It has King Carl, informing us that there are Chefs season ticket holders in the District of Columbia. Good to know. It has Steve Sabol telling us that the Chief franchise is fully endorsed by Commissioner Roger Goodell, who's nothing short of a Marxist despot.

In short, I'm counting the seconds until this airs. I'm sure LJ will come off as very humble.

It's interesting to note the success of the two teams that have been featured on Hard Knocks in the past, the '01 Ravens and the '02 Cowboys. Baltimore was coming off of its championship season. Brian Billick showed incredible hubris in allowing HBO to document his greatness (as well as in replacing effective Trent Dilfer with Elvis Grbac). The team was significantly worse in their post-Hard Knocks season.

Dallas at that time was coached by the forgettable Dave Campo, and Hard Knocks served mostly as a vehicle for Jerry Jones to reveal his minimal football knowledge, orange tan and trampoline-tight facial skin. The 'Boys went 5-11, Campo got canned, Parcells replaced him and Hard Knocks was shelved...until now. Good times.

KANSAS CITY'S SAVIOR

I've held on to a dream for a long time. The dream involves a boy turning into a man, and that man eventually solving the longtime quarterback woes of the Kansas City Chiefs. The twist on this fairy tale is that the man is the son of John Elway.

Well, the dream is on track, and could honestly happen. Set your watches for April of 2011, Tradition fans, when young Jack could be eligible for the NFL Draft. The Chiefs could be coming out of their failed Brodie Croyle Experiment, and after a year or two with a midlevel stopgap (Kyle Boller, anyone?) could be desperate for a signal-caller. Young Jack has just finished an All-American career at USC (or LSU, or Michigan, it really doesn't fucking matter so long as it's not CU) and is the clear-cut best player in the Draft. KC is on the clock...WHAT WILL THEY DO? Should this scenario actually play out Bankmeister would drop dead of irony poisoning.

BRANCHING OUT

In just a few short months, the House of Georges has evolved from a slovenly bachelor shanty to the palatial mansion you now call home. It was only natural that the demand for Banky, Cecil and Old No. 7 would exceed the bandwith of the HoG, and so we're spreading some of our good cheer and misinformed principles to other locations on the World Wide Cyber-coms. As of this week, the Just The Fans Network has launched Predominantly Orange, a new Broncos blog prominently featuring Cecil and yours truly. Additionally, our pals over at Arrowhead Addict have signed Bankmeister to a long-term, incentive-laden contract. He'll be gracing AA with his Chef Surprise from time to time, so check it out too.

These side projects will allow us to riff on our NFL teams of choice brazenly and openly. The HoG will still deliver a steady diet of first-rate NBA and WNBA coverage, so don't lose any sleep.

And in a vaguely Simmonsesque move, we'd also like to announce a mysterious future project that may or may not infect more of your spare time and hard drive space. I can't give out any more details, because it is top fucking secret (and it may never actually happen), but I can safely say it does not involve us being filmed by an HBO reality crew in our daily lives, narrated by Steve Sabol. Yet.

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Tradition Tuesday: The Next Man-Crush

Editor's Note: The rough focus of this blog is the rivalry between the Kansas City Chiefs (represented by the newly betrothed Bankmeister) and the Denver Broncos (championed by Cecil and Old No. 7). It may seem unfair that it's two vs. one, but once KC gets that second Super Bowl we'll even out the delegation.

Seven years ago we started The Tradition, in which the Broncos fans traveled out to the Truman Sports Complex with their team, and the Chef-lovers returned to the Rocky Mountains with theirs. We tailgate, we talk massive amounts of shit, our wives occasionally get assaulted by rival fans, and we almost always watch the visiting team lose. It's a grand old time.

Here at the HoG, we're going to keep The Tradition alive all year long with Tradition Tuesday--a weekly state-of-the-rivalry address.

Today let's go down in the trenches, to a battle that may or may not define this series for years to come. KC signed defensive end Jared Allen to a new contract Monday (sorry for the ESPN link, but Pasquarelli scooped the fuck out of the Star this morning). The drunken maniac does provide a steady and effective pass rush for the Indian Chiefs, something that we Broncos fans know nothing about (the pass rush part, not the DUIs).

Who will keep Allen away from Screamin' Jay? The Broncos' tackle situation could not possibly be more of a mess. George Foster, a colossal first-round draft bust, was benched last season for sucking balls. Once replacement Adam Meadows was injured, Foster returned to the starting lineup, where he was easily the worst player in the NFL last year. He was traded to the Lions (thanks Matt Millen!) and will not be missed.

Moving forward, Meadows returns this season. Matt Lepsis comes back from his knee injury, which is probably karma for ending Terrell Davis' career, and will certainly start. Erik Pears, regardless of his bad ass alma mater, is backup material. There is a need for new blood at this critical position, and it may well exist in the person of the Broncos' third-round draft choice, Ryan Harris.

I grow more enamored with Harris every day. He certainly seems like the prototypical lineman in the Broncos' system, in that he's a good athlete, he's intelligent, and he might have a chip on his shoulder (he dropped to the third round due to concerns about his size). I like that he started 45 games at Notre Dame. I'm sick of trying to win the war in the trenches with projects (Alex Gibbs could do this, and Alex Gibbs is gone)--I want a freaking stud down there to knock Jared Allen into the Gatorade cooler.

Editor's Note: I am contractually obligated to mention that the Denver Bronco O-Line is comprised of cheaters who endanger the careers of defensive players. We're all sure that Ryan Harris is locked in a room somewhere reviewing film of how to break ankles and blow out knees from the side. We're also sure that any myopic Chiefs fan who's still hung up on this outdated notion is fond of sheep.

The downsides to Harris are there, but I choose to ignore them. He did attend Notre Dame, which in this draft was somewhat of a hindrance. We all know about Brady Quinn's first-round freefall, and how Darius Walker went undrafted. Many felt that Notre Dame's success over the last couple seasons were due to Charlie Weiss' magic and a soft schedule that feasted on the likes of Stanford, Michigan State and the military academies. Harris is undersized, and his measurables weren't particularly mind-blowing. He's a bit of an extrovert, and he talks about a career in politics after football. Around here we want our big uglies to be seen and not heard.

Finally, there is the issue that Harris is a Muslim. I have no beef with any religion, but we went through this with Ephraim Salaam, specifically the fast at Ramadan. I hate having a tackle who struggles to keep weight on forced to fast for a month in the middle of football season. I guarantee that Jared Allen isn't fasting, and that he doesn't believe in any God at all. All Jared Allen cares about is drinking, fucking and killing Jay Cutler. We need someone who can counteract this dedication.

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Sio-Mother-Effin'-nara, Homes

I can't begin to tell you how long I've waited for this day. The Kansas City Chiefs, in releasing the clown pictured on the left, silently admit to yet another draft blunder. Clown, who allegedly played Division I football for some school north of The University of South Carolina, absolutely blew throughout the course of his illustrious five-year career as a Chief. Let's hope they don't waste as much time disposing of their blown picks of '07. New on my list of favorite pasttimes: being a frustrated football fan before training camp is even in the headlines. Maybe I'll just have to find a new team. Like the one she plays for, maybe.

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