We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday: All in the Family

Know why I love August? It's not because football is here. It's not because the baseball post-season is around the corner. And no, it's not the lovely Kansas City summers. I love August because that always means family reunion time. Some folks I've met hate these sorts of functions. I think they're grand, but my family's pretty darn cool. My uncle's got a fabulous piece of land, and well, they're just always such a good time. Like most families on an R & R binge, we probably eat and drink a bit too much, but we manage to work it off pretty decent by yellin' and sleepin' a bunch when we're not eating and drinking.

Anyway, always wanted to take the ol' camera down for one of these memorable occasions but I always forget it at the last minute. Well, not this year. You, fair reader, are in for a treat. After the jump, a glimpse into life Almania-style.

Anita Dark



It's always a ho-down when I see my Dark-est cousin at the door. She likes to party, and I knew she wouldn't disappoint.

Ashleigh Marie



No one gives a better tour of the farm, especially Aunt Ashleigh. In the green room. With the pink thingie.

Brooklyn Decker



Never been to Brooklyn, and she's not kin anyway.



She does crash on my couch from time to time, though.

Blaire Lindsey



I've got this second cousin with two first names. She likes to stay outside, which means everyone else likes to stay outside.

Elaine Alden



It's nice to have friendly folks like Miss Alden in town.



She gave my uncle directions to his own home. I thought that was mighty lost o' him.

Gaby Ramirez



Miss Ramirez is our neighbor down by the lake. We, uh, totally spy on her on days that end in 'y.'

Gemma Massey



Gemma Massey is freaking everywhere. Like on my grandpa's garage wall, and in his bathroom, and in this sound-proof room in the attic, too. Weird.

Georgia Jones



Georgia Jones is a hired hand on my uncle's land. She helps make sure the seeds are good and planted.

Jamie Graham



Young Jamie there was once knocked up by my cousin Roy. Don't tell her, though. A little formaldehyde goes a long way.

Jayden Cole



Jayden Cole lives up the road. She heard the noise of our gathering and asked if she could join. We obliged.

Jurgita Valts



Someone paid this fine lady to "deliver a telegram" to my grandpa. He blushed and then had to change his pants.

Kagney Linn Karter



Miss Karter comes around every year and tells us what we ought not be doin'. Then she gets drunk and changes her mind.

Kristin Dishner



Kristin was supposed to bring the cake this year.



When she showed up with pie instead,



we figured that'd be fine.

Kimberly Holland



The lovely Kimberly's engaged to my cousin Vic. They've been engaged for about seven years, and every year he gets in a fight with somebody over something they say about her.

Laura Celeste



Laura Celeste used to be engaged to my cousin Vic.



She kicked 'em out of her double-wide after four and-a-half years,



but she still invites herself to the reunion every year. Pisses Granny off.

Mandy Mae



Mandy Mae's a rather quiet aunt of mine.



I don't know what she does up there in that room of hers,



but she's never been much for socializing.

Michelle Moore



Miss Moore teaches down at the school house. My adopted uncle's kind of a peeping Tom, and, well...

Sasha Grey



Sasha Grey literally wandered out of the woods in the early evening.



She was looking for directions to somewhere, but I don't think there was a map in the barn after all.

Tasha Nicole



If I'd stayed in Joplin, I'd probably be married to Tasha. Lucky for me, I found the woman of my dreams instead.

Veronica Ricci



Miss Ricci works on my grandpa's tractors. And by "works on my grandpa's tractors," I mean she can clean a carburetor faster than anyone I've ever met.

Victoria Ivanova



Victoria's been her apprentice for about six months now.



But Veronica sent her looking for a 1/8 mm ratchet 23 weeks ago. She still hasn't found it.

Katie Fey



Katie Fey is the sheriff's daughter.



Never understood the favoritism,



but she gets away with murder down there.

That's it for this week. Thanks to our caterers and entertainers, who always make the shindig great.
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Musings From Roy F. Almania: Twin Comparisons and Deep Dictionary Diggin'

This, ladies and gentlemen, is "Musings From Roy F. Almania." Each month, if we're lucky, my cousin Roy, from down in the humid depths of Joplin, MO, takes time out of his schedule to pen us a piece on his and my favorite Major League Baseball team, the Kansas City Royals. It's seldom Associated Press material, and it's not always as polished as your local rag's sports page, but it's one thing and one thing only: unique and heartfelt.

What? That's two things? My bad. Dig in on this month's (Editor's Note: In true journalistic fashion, he e-mailed me this entry before 12:00 a.m. Central, so I guess technically this counts as a May entry.) installment, just beyond the jump.

I ain't never been much of a linguist, but one word, to me, if a body breaks it on down, can be meant to sum up the first part of the season for the 2009 Kansas City Royals. 'Fore I get into that, though, I must mention that the series in which my boys in blue are participatin' now -- the one 'gainst them confounded Twins of St. Paul -- is the perfect sack-of-feed example to illustrate my point. See, the Twins, to me, are eternal Kansas City nemesis. They've managed, for a number of seasons now, to do things just a hair better than the club formerly owned by the Kauffmans, and playing better ball than them -- even if it's just a hayseed better -- is the means for a successful harvest. They ain't never had much in the way of superstars, but they do field some talent, they drum up better-than-average pitching each year, they have the ability to hit well, play solid defense, and have admirable speed. And by my calculations, taking multiple series from Minneapolis is the fertilizer to better Royal ball.

And I'll be damned if the first two games of this series right now don't do my point justice. Let's first back up and look at their last meeting. It was the top o' last month when KC visited the Hubert Humphrey, and I was tickled when the boys produced a golden goose egg in the form of a series win up there. Now they dropped the first game by a pair of runs, but they fought back from a defecit in the second game, and took it from the home team in extra innings. Then they capped the thing off with another come-from-behind win to take the rubber match. Night before last, they never trailed, even when Justin Morneau hit a two-run blast in the eighth. A solo shot from Morneau early in last night's game, however, made a difference that the Royals couldn't overcome.

If you examine a few factors of the Minnesota roster, you'll find some spots that Kansas City should strive for. For example, their catcher, Joe Mauer, is hittin' .383 and sluggin' . 662 with 14 homers. Miguel Olivo's hittin' .262, sluggin' .524, and has a dozen dingers. Twins base runners have swiped 38 bags, which is actually two fewer than the Royals. Minnesota pitching boasts a 4.28 ERA with a 500:217 K:BB ratio; Kansas City looks more like 4.30 with a 516:244. Royals hurlers have also given up fewer earned runs, fewer home runs, and fewer hits, which means, if overcoming the Twins is the silo in the way to the pasture, than offense must be the problem if they have the pitching edge. The Twins have some 80 more hits than the Royals, which have produced 70-some more runs than their current opponents. And here's the kicker: They got a 15-home run edge, and a 95-RBI differential. They also walk more, have a better team batting average, and a better slugging percentage, so KC has its work cut out for it.

But enough about Team Gardenhire. Let's talk about my word: contention. If that ain't what most Royals fans want more than anything, than I'll be a stuck pig. I know that's what's on my Christmas list every year, and shoot -- I even say a little prayer for it come Independence Day. If you break it down by syllable, you'll find a lot o' meaning in there. Bear with me, now.

Cun

I ain't sure if that's the proper phonetic spelling, but imagine it is. While you're playin' along, pretend as though "cun" was the root of "cunning," which my definition as a noun means "craftiness; guile." As an adjective, it can mean adeptness, dexterity, crafty, or sly." Now, I wouldn't necessarily argue that the Royals are very many of things things in both the tops and the bottoms of innings. When they're on the field, they have the potential to be all of 'em, if you look at the potential of this group of pitchers. If you broaden the scope to include the fielders, you might could say there's some craft, and a little bit of dexterity. But adept and crafty this team, as a fielding whole, is not. The team, as an entire whole, however, can "cun" you into thinking that they are crafty enough to tinker with a Wildcard. But we mustn't be fooled, and I think a great many of us were as spring training camp broke.

Ten

I reckon we don't need the dictionary for this one. It's a number. There's examples a-plenty with this number that we could use to show how the Royals are underperforming. I'll offer a few: The Royals have played 76 games. They are 33-34, which is 10 games below .500. They should be 38-29, a 10-game swing. In their last 10 games, they've won four, lost six. If they drop this afternoon's contest against the Twins, they'll be 10 games out of first. Through them 76 games, they have 642 hits, 67 of which are home runs. That makes about 9.58 per cent of their hits to be home runs. It should never be less than 10. They are 10 RBIs short of 300 on the season. They are not in the Top 10 in runs scored. You get the point.

Shun

This last one's a bit more subjective. It means "to take pains to keep away from; to avoid." This should be KC's motto toward losing. Contrarily, it should be the last thing the fans are doing with their hopes for the team, their desires to follow the club and get out to the stadium when feasible. What fans have done, is shun their early-season expectations and turned to expect the worst. They've shunned the general manager, and they've shunned the skip. As my kids might say, "not cool." What the club and the fan base should be doing, is supporting this team, helping them to shun their opponents each time they take the field. I'm no dummy that thinks the Central can be won this year, but I imagine that this time next year, there'll be many a fan that will be working dawn to dusk to shun the feelings they had about last season's team.
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Monday Morning Musings From Roy F. Almania: Why the Royals Won't Win the Central in 2009

I was struggling to figure out how to start off the morning, and lo and behold, a gem appeared in my inbox in the form of a Royals take from cousin Roy down in Joplin. This is the third year for the House of Georges, and ol' Roy's been consistent with a mostly monthly delivery of Kansas City baseball analysis. While I'm not exactly happy with the theme of this month's edition, I do think he delivers some valid points, and they're nicely parcelled in categories, to boot. Take it away, 'Cuz.

I was plum pleased with the April that the Royals delivered, but May is, as we know, another month, and it's been a shaky one so far for the boys in blue. By my math, they're at .500 for the month, and I can't for the life of me figure how they didn't manage to get a single win in California, or take at least three from last-place A.L. East Baltimore this past weekend. To round out may, Kansas City will face three division foes in Cleveland, Chicago, and Detroit, while squeezin' in some inter-league play against the Red Birds somewheres in the middle. Best as I can tell, that goin' ain't gonna be easy for a club that's playin' some real mediocre ball after a strong start.

The Rotation

While starting pitching is durn near the pack leader of any good dog-sled team, the Kansas City starters are the last crop I'd prioritize as far as waterin'. Personally, if I did any tending to this portion of the farm it'd be with the second coming of the five-million-dollar man, Gil Meche. I can't make hayseed or rye outta what's goin' on with this young man thus far, and a lot of it has to do with his face. Simply put, he don't look at ease on the hill. Looks like he can't relax, can't get comfortable, like his britches were warshed on hot, turned up a size too small. I wish the best for the guy, as he was Dayton Moore's first acquistion in "doing things the right way, and that's through pitching." Whatever's runnin' through Gil's head translates in his numbers: 2-4, 4.60 ERA through 47 innings with 16 walks and 38 strikeouts. For certain, them figures ain't horrendous, but for a guy who all but knows he'll slide to the two spot in favor of Greinke becoming the ace in 2010, he's got to find a way to mentally relax and regain his form of the previous two years.

We don't need to spend any time under God's precious sun talking about Zack. Barring injury, the boy should be fine.

When the rotation was announced, I certainly was in the majority by disagreeing with the Ponson signing, but I'll be dad-gummed if I thought, halfway through May, I'd be this worried about Kyle Davies. He lands square on the same horizon as Meche in my eyes, only in a version headed in the opposite direction in that he's six years younger than Gil and should be a bit further along in his development as a big-league starter. Davies has almost delivered as many innings as Gil, and has two fewer losses, but a slightly higher ERA. He's also walked a few more and struck out a few less. An interesting thing about the rest of the rotation centers on the Joakim Soria injury. After all the hubbub about re-assigning Ponson and calling up Luke Hochevar from Omaha, it took a DL assignment to our closer to pull that trigger, and I'm still scratchin' my head about it some. Ol' Luke scared the pants off of me out there in Oakland, exiting after a few short innings with a 38-somethin' ERA, but he did show a touch more poise against Baltimore yesterday, lasting not much longer, but more than cuttin' his average in half. I'm glad to see this mornin' in the papers that he'll get another nod, and it's time he last at least five innings and do somethin' about that infernal five walk/two strikeout situation.

The Bullpen

I don't aim to spend much time on these fellers. They've done just fine in my eyes. Juan Cruz has proved to be a blessin' of a pick up, and the others have heaved their own bales at the right time, too. I reckon the biggest piece to this equation would be for Trey Hillman and Bob McClure to continue finding the most appropriate occasions to use Kyle Farnsworth. It should be clear as rainwater that we don't want him coming in in close-game situations. Give the boy a holler when the game's out of reach in either way, and that oughtta be the best way to get the money out've him that the Glass family's invested.

The Defense

I know that many will make a fuss about what to do with this lineup on an everyday basis. And that's fine. That's what us fans do. There's a few things to consider, the foremost of course is Alex Gordon. What kind of production will you get out the kid after the All-Star break. Where do you play him? Mark Teahen's done a fine job at third, but the talks of moving Gordon to first don't add up since it looks like you'll use Billy Butler over there and Mike Jacobs as your DH. Only thing is, do you put Teahen back in the outfield? Not with a healthy Guillen, De Jesus, and Crisp you don't. For my money, Gordon goes back to third, Callaspo, assumin' his bat stays a-fire like a S'more, stays at second, and you put Teahen at shortstop, where he allegedly logged some good time in high school. And the most simplest reason for doing so comes at you by the name of Mike Aviles. I'd rather be skinned alive than listen to much of what cousin Bank's Colordo gents have to say, but I do remember that Seven guy sayin' something about being leary of all the Aviles hype. Turn's out he was right. Send that guy back to Omaha and do it quick, 'cause the boy needs to get his head back in the game. Other problem is, what do you do with Willie Bloomquist, who's been a fine substitution in these spring times of need. I say you play him in right, at short, and at second on any day you give off to Guillen, Teahen, or Callaspo. And for all the slop I've got in the barn, Mitch Maier can keep his fanny comfortable with some pine, because two nice defensive throws aside, I ain't seen much from the kid that'd bother me enough to get out a toothpick for a think session.

The Bats

I aim to think this category's the most important, and I think it appropriate to lump in with team identity. I already mentioned Mike Aviles. The boy's hittin' .194, which is by far, lower than any other starter's average. Ship him out quick, and if you hesitate, remember that his on-base percentage is also a team low: .221. What I can't figure out is who this team, when wieldin' the sticks, is tryin' to be. I thought they were gonna try for a mix of small ball with power. I think the small ball part's workin' well when you consider that they've stolen 24 bases while only bein' caught five times. Them numbers ain't a prize cow, but they're better than we've seen in recent years. Add to that that they've walked 135 times, also a better mark. What needs work is the team's batting average of .260, and alongside that is the slugging: .423. The club has struck out nearly 250 times, and is only harvesting a .423 on-base percentage. One hundred sixty-three RBIs and 35 home runs ain't terrible, but I imagine that some of the stronger bats need to hit some more long balls. Mike Jacobs -- this means you. Leading the team with eight puts him on pace to tie the team record by Steve Balboni set many harvests ago, but I'd like to see the man hit 40, and whittle away at them 37 fans. We've gotten three from Crisp, De Jesus, Butler, Guillen, Olivo, and Buck, while Mark Teahen has four, but for a club that was mashing in spring training, they've got to connect more, especially with their early-season ways of stranding base runners. I do like the marks of 15 triples and 75 doubles, but let's hope that's a crop that continues to flourish.

Managment

I won't say anything about this other than the idea that I think Trey Hillman's done a fine job skippin' for this crew. He still has a learning curve, and he still has a few acres to fertilize, but I think he's on the right path to a productive season.

The Rest of the Central

As it stands today, Detroit's got a one-game edge over the Royals. Minnesota ain't far behind with the White Sox lurkin', and Cleveland looking like they won't play a whole lot o' respectable ball this year. I'm no dummy, and I know there's lots of baseball left to play, but I wouldn't be the least bit surprised if the standings looked similar in September with Detroit on top, and maybe even Minnesota threatening for a wildcard, if getting two playoff teams out of this division is a possibility. When you check the grain bins for what's in store, I think there's good things a-comin' for KC. I just fear a few too many of 'em are still a season away.

I'd like to think a second-place finish was in the almanac, but I see the boys in blue landin' in third in 2009.
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Musings From Roy F. Almania: May Day

Cousin Roy dropped me a quick line just before bed this evening, and said he wanted to get a post in before the month was up, so I'm obliging. He said it wouldn't be a long one, that he didn't have a whole lot to say, and you'll see after the jump that he wasn't kidding.

We're thankful for his contributions, and we share in the sentiment he had on his mind. If you're ever in Joplin, you'll have to look him up. He's got every toy a man could ever want and acres for miles on which to play with them. That and his Misses makes one heck of a rhubarb pie.

To the House of Georges Loyal Readership:

Almighty God has heard my prayers and delivered me still more reasons for my undying faith. These April rains have allowed for my land to flourish with such great vigor that I will likely have one of the better seasons in recent memory. And the Lord knows that I say that word seasons with my Christian tongue in cheek:

The Kansas City Royals have escaped their most awful victim: the month of April. As they begin anew in May, I take great joy in the fact that they are not only not nine games back and in last place in the Central, but they are in fact above .500 for the first month. And keep your voice to a dull roar, but they're also in first place. Now I know it's early, and today was an off day for the Sox and the Tigers, but damn it all if I'll let the opportunity pass me by to sing praises to the powers above.

I pledge to make more time in May, as the Almighty has fertilized this young crop of men with the slowly waking bats and the pitching strength to fortify their efforts at contending.

Yours Truly,
R.F.A.
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Musings From Roy F. Almania: We's Bumpin' Some Swift Guessin'; He's Jumpin' the Smith & Wesson

We were a bit concerned last month when it seemed as if my cousin Roy -- the esteemed author behind this series -- wasn't going to be able to make time for a monthly Kansas City Royals take. He's been a pretty reliable outsource in the past couple of baseball seasons, and I for one, am glad he was able to electronically transmit another take here in '09, in consecutive months, no less. His February offering cautiously tiptoed around the notion of optimism, and I think perhaps that he's built upon that in March. His second spring-training essay, just after the jump.

I ain't a-certain how's things is in your neck of the woods, but I know that the day's a cloudless one both here in Joplin, and down in Surprise. And I don't aim to dive into the half-full team pitcher, but I imagine that the message the boys in blue intend to convey is clear as well: The days of 100-loss seasons are behind us. At least for a spell.

I started to put these thoughts on paper right good and early before dawn this morning, when the sports page of today's The Joplin Globe gleamed a stat that made me smile good and big: The Kansas City Royals are 10-6-2 thus far in Cactus League play, a far better spring training mark than I can remember in a number of years. I'm not afraid to admit that I don't make it to the House of Georges everyday, but that mark looks a bit better than some of the other favorite, often-referenced clubs on this page of the World Wide Web. Having said that, I'm inclined to stick with a categorized approach to how things look for KC at this point.

The Good

I can keep these sentiments to one sentence a piece: I'm pleased that the positives we been seeing appear well-rounded: They've managed to maintain near-decent starts (save for one Brian Bannister) from the fellas that're likely to be starters while there's good, strong potential in middle relief, a proven closer, and an overall motif of better plate appearances.

The Bad

I still finger the rotation as Kansas City's Achilles. I figure they might could open the season in Chicago with nary a southpaw, and that right there's some sour milk on a good crunchy bowl of Grape Nuts.

The However

If and when Trey Hillman finalizes the active roster with all them "right" guys, I gotta believe that better plate appearances, on-par fielding, roughly adequate speed, mixed with a few more veterans and their due-to-develop youth, all yield a harvest that reaps more wins.

The Obvious

It's spring training; no matter what, every team is still trying to put the pieces in place, and there's no sense in getting excited about a good crop when the weather remains unpredictable.

The Opponent of the Day

Now that I'm near the end of this submission, the Royals are a pair of outs away from win number 11, and it makes my innards swell with pride to think that they've gotten decent starts from Zack Greinke, Gil Meche, Luke Hochevar, and Kyle Davies while handling (today) proven starters like Bartolo Colon and Mark Buerhle.

The End

As the boys wrap up their 11th win with 11 runs, I'll add that I'm plum pleased to see the long balls: New Royal Mike Jacobs has four; Mitch Maier hit his third today; Alex Gordon and Billy Butler each have a pair; John Buck, perhaps angry with his demotion, has three; while Mark Teahen, perhaps angry about his non-native Canada's loss in the World Baseball Classic, has also gone yard four times now while several other Royals have hit one homer.

Opening day is three weeks away, and I am excited for the sixth of April.
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Musings From Roy F. Almania: Big Vs In Surprise?

Greetings one, greetings all, and welcome to the first day of spring-training game action, Kansas City Royals style. The House of Georges team is pleased to announce that the one and only, Roy F. Almania will be back in swing to offer occasional opinions and observations regarding the Kansas City Royals. When my illustrious cousin didn't respond to my initial outreaches, I was afeared we'd have to contract out our always-popular Royals coverage. But alas, I heard from him this morning, and he promised to dump some verbiage in my inbox within 10 minutes of the conclusion of today's game. And deliver he did. We'll not say that his swing is full; I'm not even sure that it'll be check. He shrewdly avoided any commitment to a monthly offering, but at least for today, he came through. His thoughts on how things look for the boys in blue, just after the jump.

To all the Royals fans out there, I'd really like to be able enough to say that I told ya' so. Had I offered some off-season insight like I done last year, I'd have a bit of rights to do just that. But, what with the economy and all, I found myself needin' some part-time work this winter, so apply at the Kum & Go I did. They had me workin' nights. Still do, actually, which don't leave as much time as I'm used to for what's to be done 'round the ranch. Most 'specially sleep and study up on my favorite baseball team.

I do have some key points to offer, and I'm in a bit of a time crunch to get this off to cousin Bank', so the noggin's a bit foggy and I can't well say what the best order for these is. But here they is either way:

1) I wasn't so sure how I felt about the Mike Jacobs acquistion. Coco Crisp I'm fine with. In him we get a decent bat, decent speed, and an everyday outfielder. Another first baseman, though? I can't quite feel good about that what with the logjam that was already there: Billy Butler, Ryan Shealy, Ross Gload, and Kila Ka'aihue just to name a few. I know Jacobs hit some 32 over the fence last year, but his OPS was dad-gummed awful. Not only that, but factor in that the acquisition was another one with Atlanta, which makes me fear Dayton Moore's ability to contact other clubs. Especially when the other clubs he seems to frequent are known for their worst-in-baseball record last year. I'll do my best to give Jacobs a shot at showin' us he can get on base as well as hit for power, but I'm still feelin' squirrely about the whole darn thing.

2) I may as well move directly left in the infield, and eyeball the dustmite collection going on at second. I just can't put a finger on why a body wouldn't want to move Mike Aviles over, and plug Mark Teahen in at short. Instead, they're bringing more folks like Willie Bloomquist and some random kid named Tug while lettin' that fool of all fools Alberto Callaspo spoil the camp vibe with his Visa/itinerary debacles. Some folks want to point to his .305 average, and error-free, 74-game performance last year, and well, I can't really argue much with the numbers. But Lord, almighty.

3) Much depends on the production of Alex Gordon and Billy Butler this year. I heard from a nearby farm-hand that Moore don't care much for Butler's attitude, but the boy hit a single and a long ball today, so I imagine there was a curious eye or two on the double B this afternoon.

4) Tony Pena, Jr., Mike Moustakas, Mitch Maier, Shane Costa, and Esteban German. I reckon them five names will circulate more than any this year with regards to filling in the holes that need fillin'.

5) Most of all, though, is the rotation. The thought of it gives me a mighty headache without even truthfully thinkin' the thing through. The way I see it, and I seen it this way for some time, now, is that there's only two starters in the five-man pitching staff: Gil Meche and Zack Greinke. Now, we all know that Brian Bannister showed us flashes two seasons past. He also showed us a heapin' plate full of misery one year ago, so the boy's a crapshoot. I understand that a certain Kansas City someone keeps a mighty tight tab on the boy. That leaves Kyles Davies and Farnsworth, along with Luke Hochevar as three guys battlin' for one spot, and they're all righties. So are Meche, Greinke, and Bannister, which leaves the 34-year-old John Bale, a woeful Jimmy Gobble, and an injured Ron Mahay to fill in as the club's only southpaw. 'Cept for one thing: Horacio Ramirez, who did just as I feared he'd do today in his start in Surprise: get rocked. The man gave up six runs in two-thirds of an inning today, and I haven't for the life of me figured out who thought, or why they thought it, that he might be a good nod for this already talent-plagued rotation.

Makes me want to put a pitchfork in the back of a promisin' sow, it does. Now, I can't for the life of me figure out what the story has been with Luke Hudson or Brandon Duckworth; neither's on the roster, though Ducky came in today and gave up half the runs Ramirez did in more than two innings of work. Course, they wanna pin some o' them first-inning runs on Teahen's errant throw, and I reckon that's fair, but I just knew this'd happen either way.

In sum, there'd been two things on the brain this winter: how the Royals'd fare in Surprise, and how their season'd start off. Both are usually stinkin' terrible, and today didn't lend me to think that things'd be much different. I channeled today's game hopin' that KC'd start off with some Big Vs (at's for "victory") in Surprise. Instead, they delivered another Big D. And that, my friends, stands for disappointment.
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Musings From Roy F. Almania: Color Me Pleased After All

From time to time, us House of Georges cats hit up our cousins to talk baseball with our readers. In the past, Old No. 7 has recruited his cousins, Brian, Blanche Feverpiss, and Anachro Capitalist (mean parents, I imagine) to scribe on California Angels baseball, the American League West, and sundry MLB trades, respectively. My cousin Roy hums a narrower verse for the game as his knowledge comes only in the form of the Kansas City Royals. His spirits were down the last time he checked into the House, but this afternoon, he's got a bit more spring in his step, if you'll pardon the awful cliche.

When I was last asked to write for the House of Georges, I was pretty disappointed with Trey Hillman and the KC Royals. They were on their way to the Bronx, and in the midst of some just plain sub-mediocre baseball. Now, late in September, things feel amazingly different. They got one game left against the Tigers, and have just slipped past them in the standings, and it's been five long years since they weren't huddled 'round the basement furnace in September. Tonight, they'll wrap up that series in Detroit, and take the morrow off before heading to Minneapolis to squabble with those Twins that just won't quit. Now it seems rightful easy that in the span of those four games, they could slide back down to last place in the Central, and call it a season. I'd rather they didn't, but if it must be so, I'm not too tore up with that option either.

Through 23 September days, the Royals are 15-7, which, as I mentioned, slides them into fourth, but it does more than that. It brings their record to 72-86, and gives them a .456 on the season. That's up 30 points from last year, and continues a three-year trend (56-106 in 2005; 62-100 in '06; and 69-93 a year ago) of losing less games than the previous year, which obviously means winning more. And I got to admit that that makes me just pleased as punch. This year the Royals have teased the idea of playing .500 ball on the road, and have done a smidge better than that at home.

Individually, they've got two guys -- David DeJesus and Mike Aviles -- with 400+ at bats that are hitting just over .300. They've got three hitters with 15 or more homers, and nine guys with 20 doubles or more. Any fan of the game'll tell you that those aren't big-time numbers, but they're Royal improvements to say the least.

From the hill, our numbers one and two guys have earned 13 wins a piece, and have combined for over 350 strikeouts. And of course, Joakim Soria came close to setting a new franchise record with 41 saves and counting (Editor's Note: Jeff Montgomery and Dan Quisenberry are tied with 45).

So the Royals might not get the sweep against Detroit this evening, but they actually have something to play for with only four contests left in the season. They'll then face the Twins who sit a game and-a-half back of the White Sox, and those two teams are in the middle of a series with one another. Thus, it will be a tough and challenging home stretch for KC, but it's not too far-fetched to think that they could finish 76-86.

It ain't .500 ball, but it's pretty durn close. They'd also wind up somewhere in the vicinity of 10 games out of first. We all know how pretty that ain't, but I'm hear to tell you it's a sign of good things already in the making, and better things to come. I'll keep faithful down here in Joplin that the days of hoping not to lose 100 games are gone, as are the days of finishing 20+ back in the Central. Now get out there and get 'em boys. Roy's a-rootin' as always.
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Musings from Roy F. Almania: Really Good Teams

It's been many a week since I loaned cousin Roy from Joplin the keys to the House. He's had quite a busy summer, and for the most part, he's been out of touch with the sport goings-on of the world. Except for when it comes to the Royals of course. He claims to maybe have one more post in him this season, but in the event that he doesn't, I suppose it's fitting that the Royals take on New York tonight.

I can't say I'm overly thrilled with my boys in blue at this juncture of the season. Tonight, the Royals will kick off their final series at the ol' confounded Yankee Stadium, and I have absolutely no idea just how they'll fare. I reckon I have a hunch, and that lies somewhere along the lines of Yankee bats exploding and New York pitchers really havin' their stuff. But dear God in heaven, I hope I'm wrong. From there the boys will travel to Cleveland, just before coming home to face the Tigers and the Rangers, before hittin' the road again for another series with Detroit. After that, one series with Oakland and one with Seattle are the only non-AL Central clubs they'll face.

So it's time for them to be tested.

This season has been an interesting one, a campaign in which I know cousin Bank' really had his heart set on some .500 ball. Can't say I wasn't with him on those hopes neither. At times, they've shown the potential to get there, but they've really been sub-par when it comes to facing really good teams.

They sometimes manage to nab a victory from clubs that wear Sox, the Angels, the Twins, and the Yankees. But more often than not, they drop those series, appearing to be the minor-league club of which they've been the butt of so many jokes.

So it's left to be seen if they can hang with the big boys, the really good teams, the clubs that make perennial playoff appearances, or come darn close to it.

I'm a tip my hat to Mr. Moore, Mr. Hillman, and the players, and hold my head high above the hay bales, ever-optimistic that things will continue to look up for my Royals. My fields are tended to for the day, so I'm tippin' a Bud to the last game in Yankee Stadium forever. Go get 'em, boys.
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Musings from Roy F. Almania: I-70 Series Sans Pujols, Molina

This is "Musings From Roy F. Almania" where, from time to time, I loan my key to the House to my cousin from Joplin. He's a bit rough around the edges, but he can tear apart a John Deere engine and have it greased and back together 'fore supper's ready. And he knows a thing or two about Royals baseball. This year we've afforded Roy a bit more frequency with regards to his postings on the House of Georges, and we've all but agreed to terms on him making a monthly appearance. This month, he may even submit two articles, as this stretch of interleague play pits the Royals against their cross-state rivals twice in 10 days. Being a resident of Missouri his whole life, Roy has an opinion about Los Cardinales de St. Louise, and he's been chomping at the bit for these opportunities.

Cousin Bank's been sending me some Web site tips since my last post on the Georgie abode, and it won't be long 'til I've gained a full understanding of how these links and picture functions work, so I thought I'd attempt to use one or two of 'em. Now I don't aim to make a political stance with my appearances, but this country appears to be full of campaign propaganda these days. I mean, I can't but go for water from the well and find out that Mr. Barack can't slam dunk a basketball, and I don't know much of correlations, but I gather that support via the inventor of the Internets might should balance things out a bit. I did manage to swipe an image or two in the last few weeks. Thought I'd throw one or two of 'em out for the select few that read and appreciate what I got to say.

Last Tuesday, like usual, I headed down to the feed store, and discovered that their business neighbors, the local car wash, had been persuaded to advertise some politics.



I couldn't believe it. What surprised me even more, though, was that there was mini-conventions happening inside the local breakfast eatery. Normally, I don't dine out, but I'd a hankering to sit down for some coffee and a danish.



Just about had to change my order to "to go" when I heard the McCain supporters pining over the idea of stealing the white votes that Hillary'd made eligible by separating the Democrats. But that's enough about that, I reckon. I'm supposed to be talking about baseball, and the Kansas City Royals, while off today, will open up a three-game stand at Busch Stadium tomorrow, and I imagine it's time for Trey Hillman to show Tony LaRussa and company just who is the fastball king of Missouri.

Last year, Royals GM Dayton Moore sent his former employers, the Atlanta Braves, KC's then-closer Octavio Dotel. Now, there was plenty ado in the rumor silos leading up to this trade, and whether or not it'd be wise for the Royals to unload one of their most consistent arms. Moore decided to do so, perhaps noting that Joakim Soria (who was then setting up for Dotel) showed promise in the way of a closer just as solid as Dotel, if not stronger. Moore hung that bait out there, the Braves bit, and Soria has been all but tremendous thus far this season. The other side of the deal was that KC got starter Kyle Davies from the shufflings, who's given the Royals two wins, and an impressive 1.53 ERA. Now, he mussed things up awful good last week against the Rangers in the way of five free passes and seven hits, but he had some help from his teammates; the KC 'pen handed the Arlington ballers 10 runs, another great start squandered. Dotel of course is now with the White Sox, somehow indicative of KC getting the better of the swap.

Tomorrow night, he'll take on Braden Looper of the Cards, who's already won eight contests this young season, a nice contribution to a team that's notched 42 victories, and sits three and-a-half back of the division-leading Cubbies. It should be noted that while St. Louis was taken behind the woodshed by Philly the other night, Looper's last started yielded the red birds a 10-0 shutout, the first of his career.

Game two will feature young Brian Bannister and Cardinal Joel Pineiro. Bannister will enter the contest at a 5-6 record, while Pineiro, fresh off the DL, brings a 2-3 mark to the mound. Game three features the 5-3 Zach Greinke and the 7-2 Todd Wellemeyer. These two will be coming off of polar-opposite starts, as Greinke delivered seven scoreless innings last week against Arizona, while Wellemeyer's last appearance resulted in an eight-run Philly production over three and-a-half innings.

While the pitching arms of these two staffs will be key -- with or without Mariah Carey -- factors, the bats might mean just as much. Or perhaps lack thereof. That wily first baseman Albert Pujols, though currently on the DL, boasts some real generous career numbers against KC: a .394 (54-for-137) average, 10 long balls and 38 runs batted in. What's more is that former Royals catcher Jason LaRue will likely be catching each of these hurlers, as Jadier Molina -- the youngest of the three Molina brothers in the bigs -- suffered some level of concussion in the extra-innings contest against Philadelphia yesterday. And while I'm on the subject of catchers, Royals catcher Miguel Olivo says he'll be the godfather of a new baby by the name of Angeles Maria Berroa.

If that name sounds familiar, it should. The infant girl is the offspring of former-Royal-now-Dodger Angel and his wife Jennifer. But it's even more good-ol-boys than that: Jennifer is the daughter of Royals third-base coach Luis Silverio. And here I found it peculiar when the Royals signed Tony Pena, Jr. after canning his father. Speaking of shortstops though, Mike Aviles should continue to get the nod, as he's hittin' .341 and sluggin' .659 which is a great addition to the recently hot bats of Jose Guillen and David DeJesus. Up there in the mix is former Card' Mark Grudzielanek, whose .305 average and .400 slugging mark ain't too shabby themselves.

St. Louis, though, has brought some good lumber to the diamond in the form of Ryan Ludwick (.310/16/54), and Rick Ankiel (.254/10/30). Should be nice for KC to face this team without the splintery maple of Pujols and Molina, though I imagine the Cards will still assemble an A-game, as teams tend to do when their leaders go down. I'm looking forward to seein' blue in the Busch tomorrow night, as in 10 days, Kauffman Stadium will likely be bleedin' red.
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Baseball In The Daytime: 5-22-08

It's Thursday, and Thursday is Cecil Day at the HoG. Your intrepid chronicler of vintage wartime propaganda posters and the workout habits of 22-year-old men will check in at some point today to regale you with tales of sporting might. Until then you're stuck with me and my rampant homerism for all things Red Soxy. Sorry!

I'm still a bit hung over from last night's intoxicating debut--the Fat Man is back. B.F. Bartolo Colon took the Fenway mound for the first time as a member of the Olde Towne Team(e?) and...didn't really suck. He hurled five innings of effective work, gave up but a pair of runs, and led the Sox to their sixth straight win. And he was his measty, sweaty, rotund self while doing it--God it's good to have Bartolo back in the big leagues.

Those Red Sox and Royals finish off their series today, and that tilt is joined by two other games on the afternoon docket--enjoy, after the jump...

Seattle @ Detroit, 11:05 Mountain You've heard before about the Old Man, the crotchety curmudgeon that occupies a spot in our fantasy baseball league. Our message board is chock full of his nonsensical rants and awful punctuation, and a few weeks back he unfurled his latest insane theory--that his selection of Miguel Batista in the 22nd round was superior to mine, a kid named Jon Lester. How's that workin' out for ya, Old Man? Batista makes a start today against Jeremy Bonderman and the woeful Tigers, and if he throws a no-hitter I'll take it all back. I'm not expecting to take any of it back.

Texas @ Minnesota, 11:10 Continuing our theme of once-nasty pitchers who are now just holding on to their paychecks, this contest gives us Vincente Padilla versus Livan Hernandez. Padilla I'll always remember as the final pitcher in the infamous tied All-Star Game. That's right, Vincente Padilla was once an All-Star! And as for Livan, my lasting recollection of him will forever be the NLCS contest back in 1997 when Eric Gregg gave him a strike zone wider than, well, Eric Gregg. He struck out 15 on that night against the Braves, but at least half of those Ks were on pitches that barely made it inside the batter's box, much less to the black of the plate. I hope Livan sent Gregg a share of his playoff loot.

Kansas City @ Boston, 11:35 The Royals attempt to avoid getting swept (why do I feel like I've written that sentence a few times in the past?) today at Fenway. They send Brian Bannister to the hill, which is a shrewd move. You see, Bannister is a mortal pitcher at night (0-5, 8.13 ERA). But let him out for a little Baseball In The Daytime, and you get a superhuman pitching wolverine with jet-pack turboboosters and laser-beam eye sockets (4-0, 0.62). Joe Posnanski, who's developed an affinity for Bannister that borders on how Michael Jackson feels about fourth-graders, documents every start with his BannyLog. If anyone can get to the bottom of these crazy day-night splits, it's JoePo.

For even more insightful KC-Boston dissection, look no further than this very web site, the occasional home of the absolutely indispensable Roy F. Almania. Roy took us inside Tuesday's matchup, particularly Billy Butler's pivotal at-bat against Jonathan Papelbon. Now during last night's game, NESN's Don Orsillo and Jerry Remy pored over this same at-bat, pointing out the fact that Pap went to a slide piece to finish off Butler--and apparently he never throws that pitch in that situation. It's nice to know that the homespun wisdom of ol' Roy can occasionally trump the city-slicker hot air of the mainstream press. That's baseball--the people's game. Play Ball! Read more