Showing posts with label Fatlock. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Fatlock. Show all posts

Saturday, August 21, 2010

A Saturday Studmuffins/Fatlock Follies Sandwich; or A Token Response to "The Explanation"

Conflicted is the word to start this post. Conflicted is how I feel regarding Jason Whitlock leaving The Kansas City Star after some 16 years of sports-column contributions. Conflicted is how I feel about the upcoming Kansas City Chiefs football season that will, for the first time in my adult life, lack a Monday morning Whitlock take on Sunday's Chiefs performance. Conflict has been a notion that, in some form or another, has shadowed Whitlock's places of employment since the sporting world, and its publications, took note of who this writer is and how he carries himself. And his Star denouement has been ensconced by -- you guessed it -- conflict.

Whitlock's last column to appear in the Star was published almost three months ago. Four days ago, the Star ran this bit saying the newspaper and the columnist was "leaving the paper to pursue other interests." Earlier in the week, Whitlock, via his Twitter page, announced to the world that he would be appearing on KCSP 610 AM yesterday to proffer what he dubbed The Explanation.

If you're not interested in listening to the podcast (Editor's Note: One friend called it "radio gold" and mentioned that the interview was temporarily cut off "after he said (the) Star editor got drunk in River Market and was kissing on another male employee's neck in front of staff." Naturally, these portions are not in the podcast), hosted by What's Wrong with Ding Dong, Kansas City SB Nation put together a handy summary of the broadcast, and before we go any further, it's worth noting that Whitlock has been given a healthy raise as a FOXSports columnist.

But back to this notion of conflict. Big Matt from Arrowhead Addict touches on a small segment of what I'm saying regarding the columnist/persona paradox that is Jason Whitlock. And I say paradox because Whitlock's role in the sports world has never, in my observations, been single-fold. What I mean by that is this: If you're a columnist, being paid for your printed words and opinions of the sports world, then those words should do your talking for you. When you become a persona, be it attached or removed from your paid-for services, you begin, in varying degrees to dilute the product of your craft. That is, when you, as an artist, forge a relationship with your audience, you are, in my estimation, permanently challenged to uphold a multitude of expectations.

Your fans want the product delivered with consistency and greatness, and to quote the old Speed Stick commercials, "anything less would be uncivilized." With zero interest in bashing -- in at least this very moment -- either Whitlock the journalist or Whitlock the person, I'll go out on a limb and say that, often, he fell short in both criteria. Now, before you send smoke signals out to the lynch mob, understand that I, on many, many occasions, have had tremendous respect and admiration for the work that Whitlock has done and the message(s) he has attempted to convey.

My family has subsribed to the Star for as long as I can remember, and I have had my own subscription since the week I moved back to town 10 years ago. I have, on exactly zero occasions, looked forward to a piece of the paper with more fervor than Whitlock's Monday morning Chiefs column. This, of course, has come with heavy doses of conflict for me the subscriber, reader, and admirer of great writing. I make no secrets of my admiration for former Star sports columnist Joe Posnanski. For the duration in which Pos' and Whit' both penned sports for the Star, the former was always my favorite. He finds the hook in a story and threads it effortlessly into the gills of the reader, and for that, he will always be one of my literary heroes. He also, were it by design or not, assumed the role of the good guy in the Posnanski/Whitlock good guy/bad guy dichotomy. In movies, stories, and even on the TVs, I always root for the good guy. It's just how I'm wired.

My issue with Posnanski, though, was that he seldom covered the Chiefs. That was Whitlock's bag, and that's what I wanted in my paper. So I read him.

As a sports fan, and more specifically, a sports fan in a town where the professional baseball and football teams appear, over periods of time, destined to achieve new and inventive plateaus of terrible, a fan such as myself does not, for the most part, take well to criticisms of the organizations. At least I didn't used to. More plainly, the feeling was always a mix of "It's easy to be an armchair GM/You're not playing/Give them a break -- They're trying/Quit being Mr. Negative." So my appreciation for Whitlock's angles, for some time, was under-developed to say the least.

As his interesting relationship with former Chiefs GM Carl Peterson became something of a soap-opera affair, I began to appreciate it more, and when Peterson hired Herman Edwards, I began to grasp the reality that embodied the idea of the game having passed by Carl Peterson. With nary a slice of ironicality, I began to understand and appreciate the watchdog type of job that Whitlock does, and had been doing all along.

Perhaps at the height of my recognition for his work covering my favorite football club, Mr. Whitlock branched out from the Star and was hired for other endeavors. Having already tried the SportsTalkRadios (fail), he took a post as a Page 2 columnist for ESPN.com (fired), which may or may not have been handcuffed to his, for lack of a better word, removal from ESPN's "The Sports Reporter," and then he signed on with FOXSports. I don't include those parentheticals because I want to highlight shortcomings, but it's important to note that, from an outsider's perspective, beefs appeared to have been brewing in each of those sports kitchens. It's also important to identify that some of these beefs appear to have been for good reason, be they motivated by self-interest, a national sense of civic duty, or a combination of the two.

I commend him for, regardless of intention, marketing himself well enough to have the multiple outlets and to of course, get paid. This era of outsourcing and raises, however, seems to have gone hand in hand with ego inflation and the spawning of this persona that I mentioned.

Which brings us back to conflict. Jason Whitlock used to irritate the hell out of me because he would, so it seemed, always play the race card. For example, he, back in the day, would say things, and I paraphrase, like: Jacksonville Jaguars Head Coach Jack Del Rio makes it a point to have African-Americans as his second- and third-string quarterbacks because it's imperative that the racist fans of Jacksonville must support Byron Leftwich. If they're not going to support him because he's black, they need to know that those that come in to replace him due to injury, will be black as well, so get used to it.

I don't know if this was true. I mean, David Garrard and Quinn Gray are black. This I know. There's a significant part of me, though, that doubts that those two guys were acquired by the franchise, perhaps even over more qualified quarterbacks, solely for support clauses for Byron Leftwich. It's also hard for me to imagine that the Jacksonville Jaguar fan base that has become a poster child for atrocious attendance, even with a white quarterback backing up a black one, can be pegged in their majority as bigot fans. I just didn't see the point in that then, or even more recently when Whitlock posited that (Note: I believe this was in a 05/01/08 FOXSports column regarding Ben Roethlisberger, but his archives don't date back far enough.) that a guy like Pittsburgh Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger would've been crucified for the (initial) rape allegations against him were he black.

More recent still is his latest FOXSports column regarding Minnesota Vikings QB Brett Favre, wherein Whitlock dismisses the notion that Old No. 4 would be under heavier scrutiny were he African-American. Quoth Whitlock: "...the felonious charge of a racial double standard as it relates to the future Hall of Famer was unworthy of my court. I dismissed the case.

That was my mindset two years ago. Things have changed."

Here's where things get a little tricky. We expect those whom we respect to evolve, to maybe have a change of opinion over time. With Whitlock, though, it's like he's completing changing hands every three to five years. Ten years ago, black athletes, in Whitlock's book, couldn't catch a break: There were double standards everywhere. Five years ago, he was knee-deep in his anti-bojangling campaign, wherein he was calling out guys like Scoop Jackson for supporting, in some sense, that there are/were not enough positive black, male role models for the youth of today to admire. The hip-hop culture, as I'm certain he's referenced it on numerous occasions, that embodies today's youth only sees adult black males in the NBA, the NFL, and in rap-music videos.

This, I was on board with. This, I felt, wrong or right as my intuition might've been, was a platform in which he had the most potential. For a guy that reaches as wide an audience as he does, he could really pull some strings, or at least get the wheels of cognition spinning for this effort, if, and that's a big if, this was something he was passionate about. Now, today, I'm not certain what he's passionate about, and I find myself thinking with some frequency that he's not certain either. Thus the motif of conflict.

In comes the notion of ego. I used to be a leading complainer in the argument for less of Whitlock's ego in his column. The presence of it, I felt, could only be identified as wasted column-inch space. For example, he'd start off a column about a road Chiefs game by mentioning that he was seated in the press box. Or, in his column about the NBA All-Star Weekend in Las Vegas a couple years ago -- the one in which the infamous Adam Jones make-it-rain weekend happened -- he started off the column, I think, saying something to the effect of his courtside presence. Or more generally speaking, the many KC Star columns over the years in which he simply wrote about himself using an obviously phony visit to he shrink as the vehicle that drives the column, stopping by several sports-story-idea rest stops along the way.

The former situations were insults to the readers' intelligence in that he's stating the already-known, or to paint it in a less-attractive light, pimping himself. The latter always said two things to me: 1) I have only a smattering of ideas for a column today, so this is what you get, and 2) frankly, I like writing about myself.

So, conflict. Who is Jason Whitlock, I find myself asking after all these years. In the excerpts made available in that podcast, he frequently references "those that know me" as the ones certified to stake a claim against his body of work, or pass judgment on whether or not what he's doing has merit, value, and substance. My guess -- and I of course could be way, way off -- is that not that many people do actually know him. And this is why I think it's tricky, in a role like his, to develop, and even push, a persona because it's going to, whether you like it or not, clash with the product that has gotten you credit, respect, and notoriety since entering the world of sports journalism.

I won't claim to know Whitlock. I've certainly never met him, and I definitely haven't read everything the guy's ever published. I still think that the article he wrote for (or published in, however you want to say it) Playboy is the best piece of journalism he's ever produced. I very much looked forward to the issue coming out because I had a hunch it would be top notch, and hey -- free excuse to buy a copy of Playboy...jackpot! Just before it came out, however, he wrote a column in the Star about the issue coming out, and, surprise, the controversy surrounding it. I wrote about it here, and one reader even created a fake Jason Whitlock profile name so that s/he could comment. Basically, though, that column said this: I'm taking this opportunity to write my column about me writing a magazine article.

Then the issue came out, and without going back to read my actual work, I think I did a fairly decent job summarizing it. I do recall three things standing way out with that piece though: 1) It was well-approached, well-researched, crisp, lucid, and well-written; 2) The controversy associated with the headline the magazine gave the piece -- "The Black KKK" -- was largely, if not entirely diminished by the incredible content of the article itself and; 3) This should be this guy's niche. He should be doing investigative, literary journalism on a full-time basis.

I still feel that way about his abilities, talents, and potential for outreach, but that's one person's opinion, and it likely means squat to anyone that reads this. In "The Explanation," Whitlock talks about sports being the concept that brings people together, and he also talks about many of his critics wanting to be him. I won't argue with the first part of that. That's a huge portion of the beauty of sports: By its own existence, it creates a bond, even with rivals and enemies. There's also merit to the latter part, in that, sure -- professionally speaking, I would love to have or have had any of his written-word journalism positions. And of course I would happily accept the compensation package attached to them.

But to say that, outright, people want to actually be him, is another ball of wax too sticky for me to adhere. I don't want to be Jason Whitlock for the same reasons of theme I've been attempting to decode: conflict. Right now, in my adult life, I have zero audience, and zero responsibility for thought conveyance. I don't have a channel for streaming, a frequency for broadcasting, or column inches to fill. And I'm conflicted enough as it is just trying to lead my ordinary, run-of-the-mill routine. Should I skip today's workout? Did I tell the wife I love her enough times this week? Is one more beer too many?

Hell, it's a struggle day in and day out to just attempt to balance happiness, responsibility, and sanity. If I had a massive national presence added to the mix, I'm not certain that I would successfully balance my craft and keep my persona at bay. There's no way I could develop a platform loaded with observation, opinion, and criticism and, in addition, manage those two key elements of consistency and greatness. I mean, I'd certainly try, but how would I react to my critics? Would I have as many as I would fans? Would I really be that different of a personality than the one I've invented for Jason Whitlock?

Difficult to say.

What I do know is this: If there's one blessing about Kansas City, it's that its newspaper, for many years, has hired and retained some talented writers, many of whom have gone on to bigger positions with bigger publications in bigger cities, all of which I imagine are totems of success. In the sports department alone I can think of half a dozen off the top of my head: Jeff Passan, Liz Merrill, Mechelle Voepel, Jason King, Ivan Carter, Posnanski, and now Whitlock. All of their contributions to my paper have been excellent, and obviously, none have had more controversy than Mr. Whitlock's.

And that's really, to me, what "The Explanation" is about. For Whitlock it was, like it often is, about self-promotion and self-preservation. The Star, apparently unbeknownst to him, ran that Whitlock's-leaving piece without informing him, so he's entitled to address his audience of a decade and-a-half however he sees fit. FOXSports.com certainly isn't the place to do it, and for someone that calls himself Big Sexy, a couple of tweets certainly weren't going to suffice. But at the end of the day, this LeBron James-modeled bit of satirically titled seriousness wasn't about the Star's editor(s) consuming intoxicants, or kissing in public, and it really wasn't about those editors not seeing eye to eye with his vision for his role in the paper, either.

It was a sendoff. It was the epilogue in a chaptered story. It was, the final frontier of the Whitlock era in Kansas City sports writing. It was a reminder of the fact that, conflict and controversy aside, this town has been graced with some excellent sports columns in the last 16 years. It'll be interesting to see how the Star, struggling financially along with all of its industry counterparts fills this large void. Will another young Sam Mellinger step into the vacated columnist shoes? Will the Star, now free of payroll obligations to Whitlock, rest its accounting heads with more ease each night? We, the readers and subscribers will have to wait and see.

One thing's for certain: My Monday morning routine is going to need some serious adjustment.
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Thursday, January 7, 2010

Thursday ThinkTank: Grading the Grades



(Editor's Note: I'm getting to this a few days later than initially desired, but at least, now, it's done.) On Monday, The Kansas City Star's Jason Whitlock, handed out grades for the 2009 Chiefs, a tradition in which he just logged his 10th year. Having read them for 10 years, I decided that I would like to assess his assessment, and what better way to do that, than in the style of the once/still beloved site known as Fire Joe Morgan. The numbers are, of course, percentages like the ones you get in school, assuming you've at some point or another, attended. Let's get to it.

A

Give this man a new contract


98 Jamaal Charles, RB: No-questions-asked MVP of the team. That’s an amazing accomplishment for a guy who wasn’t a significant part of the team’s offensive game plan until week nine. Some people worry about his durability. Does he have the necessary frame to be an every-down back? He has the same frame and running style as Tennessee’s Chris Johnson. Charles can handle 20 carries a game. A two-back setup is the way to go in the NFL.

Two words for you, bro: Larry. Johnson. As in: overpaid, overused. As in: Doesn't. Care. Now, I don't want to sit here and say Mike Cox could blast into those same holes, but Mike Cox is certainly willing and able to attempt penetration whenever and wherever necessary? Ooo. Comparing Charles to Chris Johnson. There's a first. A two-back setup? That's some divine thinking there.

92 Chan Gailey, offensive coordinator: Smartest man at Arrowhead Stadium. Collected a fat paycheck for sitting on his can while Todd Haley made a fool of himself trying to serve as head coach, offensive coordinator and quarterbacks coach. Gailey’s image is untarnished after being fired by Haley before the start of the season.

Hmmm. Chan Gailey. Why is that name not ringing a bell? Oh, yeah. I remember. 'Cause he technically wasn't a part of the 2009 Chiefs. Pre-season don't count, bro. Lining up in the pistol and running the wildcat with Mark Bradley (cut) throwing passes to Tyler Thigpen (traded) was fun that one Sunday, but let's see: How many games did Gailey's offense win us? Oh. Right. Two. Haley's print on this team laid its foundation for the future this year. Gailey wasn't part of that. Haley knew it, made the move, and took his lumps. Brilliant move. How you gonna give a guy a new contract for 2010 if he isn't in the mix in 2009?

B

Exceeded my expectations.

89 Brandon Flowers, CB: Tied for 12th in the league with five interceptions. More impressive, he was fourth in the NFL with 28 passes defensed. The kid reminds me of James Hasty in that Flowers is agile and quick enough to play the pass and physical enough to be a force against the run. Put Flowers on a better team, and he’s a Pro Bowler.


Flowers is good. May one day reach a Pro Bowl, even as a Chief, and he'll likely have a longer shelf life than James Hasty. Also, "defensed" makes you sound kind of Canadian.

88 Chris Chambers, WR: Had an immediate impact after getting signed off the waiver wire at midseason. Chambers gave the Chiefs a long-ball threat. He scored two touchdowns in his first game as a Chief. The only reason he didn’t receive an A is because he dropped a crucial pass in the Cleveland game. A nine-year vet, Chambers can be Kansas City’s No. 2 receiver for the next two years.

One dropped pass drops him to a 'B'? Wow. My thinking is that a) that drop was only 11% of the dropped passes in that game, two of which were Dwayne Bowe's, one of which was actually in the end zone. Play a little run defense and tackle Joshua Cribbs, the Chiefs win that game, no one remembers Chambers' drop, one of very few on the season for him. I surmise that Bowe will ever surpass Chambers as a consistently better passing option for this team.

87 Tamba Hali, LB: Made a smooth transition from defensive end to outside linebacker. Hali had his best season as a pro. He recorded 8 1/2 sacks, forced four fumbles and made 62 tackles. He also drew at least a half-dozen holding penalties in passing situations. Those penalties are sometimes as devastating as a sack. Hali is exactly the player the Chiefs envisioned when they drafted him four years ago. He’s the perfect complement to an elite pass rusher (Jared Allen).

I don't know that I worry about defensive holding when you're one of the only talents on a defensive squad. Hali, making that transition, was half-a-sack shy of the team totals for 2008, which, to me, warrants an 'A.' Also, get over the Jared Allen trade. It gave us three awesome picks and rid us of an element that didn't want to be here.

85 Ryan Succop, K: He’s a bit overhyped because he was the last player selected in the 2009 draft. But Succop had a solid rookie year. He pretty much made every kick he was supposed to make, nailing 23 of 24 kicks from inside 50 yards. He was two of five from 50 and beyond.

Given the complete debacle that was the Justin Medlock/Nick Novak/Connor Barth experiement, this is as good an upgrade as you get. Also, I think Dick Vermeil was coaching the Eagles the last time the Chiefs had a kicker that could kickoff through the end zone. I give the kid an 'A.'

85 Derrick Johnson, LB: Yep, I’m giving DJ a high grade. He deserves it for not assaulting Haley. DJ rode the bench behind kickoff-coverage wedge busters. In the few snaps he was allowed, DJ had a knack for getting involved in big plays. He knocked Ben Roethlisberger out of the Pittsburgh game with an accidental knee to the head. DJ forced a Torry Holt fumble with hustle in the Jacksonville game. DJ kept the Chiefs in the Baltimore game with a 70-yard interception return. And, of course, DJ destroyed the Broncos with two pick-six returns. DJ was involved in more memorable Chiefs defensive plays than any other defender, and he played only 15 to 20 snaps a game.

I'm going to come off as way too positive I'm realizing, but given that Johnson uttered nary a peep during a very frustrating season for him, I can do no less than but to give him a 90. You just don't see that type of whine-free attitude often enough anymore.

85 Brian Waters, G: Here’s another player who gets extra-credit points for not slapping the (spit) out of Haley. I know, some of you think I favor Waters because he “feeds” me information. It’s not true. Waters played the good soldier all season and didn’t talk with the media all year, including me. I favor Waters because he keeps it 100 24/7. Despite the lack of professionalism from the head coach, Waters remained a true professional throughout the season. He was a leader. He played at a higher level than people give him credit for.

Nonsense. Haley owed Waters nothing. And, though I'm sure you were praying for the 22-players comment to blow up in Haley's face, he did in fact double Herm's win total from last year, and matched it from the previous. Waters played his typically solid game, but was also called for more penalties than I can remember. You're bitching about a linebacker getting called for holding -- which I raise a 'brow at -- but you don't mention an offensive lineman's flags? Those are the ones that are "as devastating as a sack."

85 Bernard Pollard, S: You want to talk about a clown suit? The one Pollard stitched for Haley will never be forgotten. Kansas City’s best safety was cut before the season and resurfaced in Houston as the savior of the Texans’ defense. Meanwhile, Pollard’s replacement, Mike Brown, struggled in pass coverage and run support. The Chiefs had some of the worst safety play in the league.

Let's see. When I click here, it looks like he played in 13 games for the Houston Texans in 2009, which, and this may come as a shock, are not the Kansas City Chiefs. Compare Pollard's '09 numbers with Brown's. They're not that much better. The only glaring difference is defensive-interception yards.

84 Dustin Colquitt, P: He was sixth in the league in net punting average (40.8) and second in the league in kicks downed inside the 20 (41). He had one kick blocked. Colquitt had a good year.

A good year. Does good equate to a low 'B'? Many folks wanted to name Colquitt the unofficial MVP for the team again. He certainly earned his.

82 Wade Smith, G: Did you know this offensive guard has been in the league seven years? I had no clue. I’m just glad Smith was good enough to make me forget Mike Goff. I’ve got no problem with Smith. He was on the field the day Charles ran for 259 yards. Maybe Smith can hold on to the job at right guard next season.

Wow. You give the dude who played in three grades almost the same grade you give Colquitt? Unpossible!

82 Andy Studebaker, LB: He won the Pittsburgh game with two interceptions. Enough said.

I'll agree with that assessment. The homer in me wants to give him an 88, but too much disagreeance is annoying.

81 Ryan O’Callaghan, T: One of many ex-Pats to find their way on the Chiefs’ roster. Ryan O looked like a bum blocking for Larry Johnson and, like the rest of KC’s offensive line, looked pretty good blocking for Jamaal Charles. He’s a former Patriot, so you know he’s not going anywhere. From what I understand Scott Pioli is negotiating a deal with Ollie Gates to have New England Clam Chowder added to the Gates menu.

I can only say this about this guy: The right side of the line looked entirely better this year whereas last year, they were like Jordan "I-65" Black.

81 Wallace Gilberry, DE: I like Wally a lot, and it’s not just because he has a unique name for a brother. Wally does something his higher-drafted defensive end teammates can’t do. Wally actually tackles the opposing quarterback in the backfield. He did it 4 1/2 times this season. The L$U Brothers — Glenn Dorsey and Tyson Jackson — combined for one sack this season. Wally is underpaid.

Funny you mention a dude's ethnicity and salary in the same thought. Who'd'a thunk?

81 Corey Mays, LB: The reality is that Mays has no business starting in the NFL. He’s good special-teams player the Chiefs asked to play inside linebacker. When the coaching staff (under the influence of Scott Pioli) emphasized fundamentals over talent at the linebacker position, Mays became a candidate to start in Kansas City. He looked good in stretches. But at the end of the day, Mays didn’t record a sack, forced fumble or interception. He’s a guy who ran around trying to make ordinary plays and never getting close to a big play. It’s not his fault. New England and Cincinnati — his previous stops — never asked him to be a starter.

"ran around trying to make ordinary plays"? I struggle to think of a guy that was in on more tackles than any other member on the roster. Why's that? Oh. It's because only Demorrio Williams and Mike Brown had more.

80 Brandon Carr, CB: Playing opposite Flowers, Carr gets tested repeatedly. It’s a tough gig. Carr handled it well. He started all 16 games, intercepting one pass, forcing a fumble and breaking up 19 passes. Carr’s future is bright. Flowers is going to make Carr continue to elevate his play. Flowers and Carr can be as good as Hasty and Carter.

I know that many, many Chiefs fans are likely to appreciate the Hasty/Carter references. I am not one of them. The Marty days were grand for our generation, but they resulted in zero pieces of hardware. I like Carr. I hope his ceiling's higher than it appears.

79 Demorrio Williams, LB: He probably deserves a higher grade, but he loses cool points because he kept Derrick Johnson on the sideline. Plus, Williams was one of Haley’s favorite players. Let’s see, sacks, forced fumbles and interceptions — zero. Linebackers are supposed to be impact players, especially on a 3-4 team. Leading the Chiefs in (harmless) tackles doesn’t justify an elite grade.

Williams was one of the weirdest signings of the Edwards era. Why he wound up one of Haley's favorites is still a touch puzzling. While I agree with the philosophy here, I'll point out that the middle linebacker position has, for a number of years, been the one that leads the team in tackles. It's also been the one in which the Chiefs part ways with the dude, and he has success elsewhere. See: Donnie Edwards, Scott Fujita, Kawika Mitchell, et al.

77 Alex Magee, DE: Well, lookee here, another young defensive end who can locate the opposing quarterback better than the L$U Brothers. In his rookie season, Magee recorded two sacks, doubling the combined total put up by Dorsey and Jackson. I like Magee. A year in the weight room might make him more stout against the run. This kid has upside.

This philosophy would imply that Scott Pioli knows what he's doing, in that you've given two of his picks a better-than-average grade in their rookie year. We'll see.

76 Ron Edwards, NT: What? Big Suge — Edwards looks just like Suge Knight — has been with KC four seasons? Wow. Every year he’s not supposed to start. And every year the Chiefs can’t find anyone better to plug the middle of their defense.

Gotta admit. Losing Tank Tyler and keeping Edwards around surprised me. Twenty-three tackles, three pass deflections, and a fumble recovery ain't terrible. I see know reason to offer something higher, though.

75 Bobby Wade, WR: The only player on the roster with the necessary midsection courage to yell at Haley. How can you not like Wade? He’s a solid No. 4 receiver and a borderline No. 3. Wade runs good routes and has good hands. If he’s back next year, I’ll bet a thousand dollars he slaps Haley before the bye.

How can I not like Wade? Three fumbles, lower yards-per-reception than Bradley, Chambers, and Bowe. How many of our league-leading drops were his? He looked flashy in the first quarter, but a mere pan flash after. I appreciate that he came in, a-hem, off the streets, and immediately produced, but I can't give him any higher than a 70. Just catch the damn ball.

75 Mike Cox, FB: He’s lived with that name for 24 years. I won’t stoop to cracking a joke about it. He has no discernible talent other than a willingness to hurl his dumpy body in front of far more athletic bodies. It’s a job. It pays the bills. I ain’t hatin’.

Mike Cox prefers to be fidgeted with and hurled into other bodies. Mike Cox is not impressed with this analysis.

75 Jovan Belcher, LB: He started three games. His grandkids will never believe it. Hell, his friends and family don’t believe it now. I can’t believe it. Clancy Pendergast can’t believe it.

I can't, by any stretch, give this guy the same grade as Wade and Cox. I can't say why, but I just can't.

74 Lance Long, WR: It is not true that Lance rents the basement of Haley’s home. However, rumors that Haley will officially adopt Lance this offseason are gaining traction throughout the league. Haley sees himself in Long, a receiver with the talent to be a really good college golfer. Hey, maybe Long is Wes Welker Lite. But Haley might want to develop a Randy Moss at the other receiver slot before jamming Long down our throats. For now, let’s call Long a short Sean LaChapelle.

Awesome. Way to throw a golf reference in there. Tell LJ I think he's a bitch.

73 Mike Vrabel, LB: OK, Mike earns extra credit for not attacking Pioli. I mean, Vrabes is minding his own business milking the Belichick-Brady gravy train when Pioli decides Vrabes can be his locker-room snitch in Kansas City. A guy wins three Super Bowls in New England and then gets sentenced to a rebuilding project in KC that will be headed by Haley and Matt Cassel. You know Vrabel would give up one of his rings to get the hell out of here and back to Boston.

This might be the worst assessment of them all. I loved the intangibles that, at least in my mind, Vrabel brought to this team. You can tell he still wants to win, and pardon the cliche, but this locker room needs that kind of veteran leadership. I'd give him an 82. And hey, he was free.

73 Branden Albert, T: Let’s hope Todd “Jenny Craig” Haley lets Branden be Fat Albert next season. The slimmed-down version of Albert wasn’t as good as the heavier one. Albert is a good player. He’s not a bust. He can play left tackle in the league, and he can damn sure play guard.

The fact that Albert gave up so many more pressures/sacks having lost 40+ pounds really, really troubles me. I hope, in this one particular area, that Haley knows what he's doing. I'd give him a 78, though, especially for late-season improvement.

72 Jon McGraw, S: Guess which game McGraw missed? The one where a Cleveland running back impersonated Jim Brown and rolled up 286 rushing yards. Had McGraw played, Jerome Harrison probably would have finished with 270 yards. But McGraw is a good special-teams player and a solid backup at safety. He was thrust into the starting role when Jarrad Page went down for the year. McGraw is a good NFL player when he’s not overexposed.

If it's cool to toss race around then hey: One of two white-boy starting safeties in the league. Thirty-eight tackles, a fumble recovery, and a pick. Plus the dude hits like a Mack. I'll give him a 76.

71 Brodie Croyle, QB: After early-season talk that Croyle was pushing Cassel for the starting job, Brodie sat all year behind The Sixty Million Dollar Man. Brodie is a backup quarterback. He’s not good enough to really push Cassel. Brodie would be an ideal backup for the Colts, Chargers, Patriots or Saints — teams with established superstars at QB.

Mostly, because you didn't trash my boy, I'll say that that's fair.

70 Barry Richardson, T: Big Barry started against the Browns and didn’t embarrass himself.

Uh, okay.

D

Should consider summer school.

69 Rudy Niswanger, C: Had the bad snaps at San Diego. Still gets pushed around by the league’s top nose tackles. The Chiefs tried to claim Detroit’s practice-squad center late in the season, but the Lions moved him to the active roster. Rudy is the offensive lineman most likely to be replaced this offseason. He’s not awful. He’s just not good enough.


Pretty spot on. The kind of guy you'd like to make it, but he probably won't.

69 Donald Washington, CB: Man, I have high hopes for this kid. He’s from my hometown (Indianapolis), and he was coached in high school by one of my former teammates. This rookie fourth-round pick couldn’t crack the lineup as KC’s nickel corner. That’s disappointing. But I’m not ready to give up.

Yes. When you're not any better than DaJuan Morgan, a strong 'D' is about all you get.

68 Tim Castille, FB: Kid made a circus catch against Cincinnati. He then made the worst halfback pass I’ve ever seen in my life at Denver.

Without said circus catch, the Bengals game appears to be a blowout, but yeah -- how you don't know to consider that pass play covered and just chuck it out of bounds is beyond me.

68 Jarrad Page, S: Played hurt early in the season and then eventually ended up on injured reserve. He’s probably a good player, but more than likely he’ll be forced to prove it somewhere else. Maybe the Texans will get Page and pair him with Pollard.

Ah. Another Pollard jab. Didn't see that one coming. Page has been pretty solid for this terrible team since Big Herm drafted him. I'll be surprised if he's cut. His value shouldn't be overlooked. He's worth a 71.

68 Tyson Jackson, DE: I’m not as down on KC’s top draft pick as other media representatives. I like Jackson’s attitude. I believe he wants to be a good player. You shouldn’t judge a strongside, 3-4 defensive end until his second year. Did Jackson show me any flashes? No. But after watching Ryan Sims, Junior Siavii, Eddie Freeman and all the other young KC defensive linemen flame out, I’ve learned to be patient. Being the first to call a KC D lineman a bust isn’t as cool as it used to be.

This might could be the strongest assessment of the lot. Well done.

67 Leonard Pope, TE: Haley is as bad as Pioli in terms of loving to pick up scraps from his old team. Pope, Castille and Lance Long are all Arizona leftovers. Pope’s most memorable moment was jumping up and signaling first down after a 5-yard catch at Jacksonville. He was 10 yards short of the first down, but you had to love his enthusiasm.

Kid reminds me of Jason Dunn. I'm holding out for a hero, and that hero is Brad Cottam.

67 Glenn Dorsey, DE: OK, we’re two years into the Dorsey experiment, and GD is averaging a sack a season. Hmm. Dorsey was supposed to be the second coming of Warren Sapp when the Chiefs drafted him. He moved to defensive end this season because Pioli wants to play a 3-4. Glenn Dorsey is nobody’s defensive end. If he’s going to justify his salary, he needs to be a three-technique tackle in a 4-3 scheme. All the hype about how well Dorsey played this year was just noise intended to elevate his trade value this offseason. Let’s hope Bill Parcells and Bill Belichick — Pioli’s exclusive trade partners — don’t read this report card.

Todd Haley saw improvement in Dorsey. I saw improvement in Dorsey. I'll therefore say he's worthy of a 72. And here goes the company -- Derrick Johnson -- line: Next year should be his breakout season.

66 Brad Cottam, TE: Oversized tight end got hurt just as Haley was letting him on the field. Cottam looked very good in the Cleveland game. That’s how I will choose to remember him. He could be a player.

Yo. That's my jam. A middle 'D'? These are Tony Gonzalez's shoes he's trying to fill, and he shattered a vertebrae while landing on his head, and didn't fumble. At least give the guy a 70.

65 DaJuan Morgan, S: If you can’t beat out Mike Brown, you can’t get a high grade from me. Morgan is a disappointment.

Agreed.

64 Sean Ryan, TE: If you know why Ryan is on the roster, please e-mail me at jwhitlock@kcstar.com. I had no clue this guy has been in the league six years. He’s played for six different teams. Get this, he caught two touchdown passes this season, the first two of his career. I don’t remember the scores or his 12 other catches. I’m sure he deserves a higher grade, but I ain’t giving it to him.

He looked as good as Bobby Wade, which means he looked good for one game.

63 Matt Cassel, QB: The Sixty Million Dollar Man does not deserve an F. Pioli and Haley handcuffed Cassel by failing to provide him the proper tools to compete. The Chiefs led the league in dropped balls. Cassel was stuck with Larry Johnson at running back the first half of the season. Johnson’s slow-footed running put the Chiefs in a lot of third-and-long situations. Third and long is not a quarterback’s friend. Toss in the fact that Haley played musical chairs at receiver, and Cassel’s 16 TD-16 INT season makes perfect sense. Don’t give up on Cassel. He’s not a franchise quarterback. He might be Chad Pennington.

That number grade is a joke, obviously, but all your points are solid. He's not a franchise quarterback, but he's not fragile, which, to me, is the only edge he has, and may ever have over Brodie. Tons of adversity for the guy in '09, but he wasn't better than a 68.

F

Report to Clark Hunt’s office.

59 Ikechuku Ndukwe, T: This is the offensive tackle Bill Parcells pawned off on his son-in-law for a ham sandwich. Clark Hunt should forbid Pioli from speaking to Father Bill during business hours.


At least we got the pick back by sending them Thigpen.

59 Andy Alleman, G: This is the offensive guard Bill Parcells pawned off on his son-in-law for a tuna fish sandwich. Clark Hunt should forbid Pioli from speaking to Father Bill during business hours.

See: Ndukwe

58 Jake O’Connell, TE: I don’t like him because the only thing I can remember is him dropping a couple of passes.

Yeah. I do like him in that he was a late pick in the draft, and, for no reason whatsoever, I had it in my head that a tight end out of Miami-Ohio was going to be a pleasant little secret that nobody had eyeballed. Maybe an oops.

58 Thomas Gafford, LS: He’s getting replaced. Had at least one horrible punt snap and several bad field-goal snaps I remember. He’s no Kendall Gammon.

Fired.

57 Mike Goff, G: Whoa. Past-his-prime guard got blown up way too often. A terrible offseason acquisition. Kansas City’s running game improved when Goff suffered an injury and an LJ went down on Twitter.

See: Gafford

56 Mike Brown, S: An absolute disaster. Brown used to be a top-flight player. Age and injuries caught up with him in Kansas City. He took terrible angles on running and passing plays. Rumors persist that he’ll get 10 percent of Dallas receiver Miles Austin’s next contract after personally escorting Austin to the end zone twice in Kansas City.

I know that you and your boy Nick Wright had Mike Brown-bashing parties while you stuffed each other's holes with Scimeca italian sausages and Burnt Ends sandwiches from Gates. "absolute disaster" is beyond a stretch. He did take some terrible angles in a few games, but he also made some plays and got better in the scheme as the season went on. What? No Pollard cracks?

56 Clancy Pendergast, defensive coordinator: The assistant coach Chiefs fans love to hate, and Haley will soon scapegoat for KC’s defensive shortcomings. Buddy Ryan couldn’t stop the run with the personnel provided to Pendergast. I’m not sold on Romeo Crennel as the new defensive coordinator. Bill Belichick designed and implemented the defenses that won New England Super Bowls. Romeo is a nice name. Nothing more.

I almost threw up in my mouth when I heard that Haley brought him over from the Sun Devil State. It's bad when, even for a fleeting moment, you find yourself longing for Gunther Cunningham. You, sir, are fired. Or should be.

56 Larry Johnson, RB: Never took the diapers off. Undermined Joe Paterno, Dick Vermeil, Herm Edwards and Todd Haley. That’s about as wide a cross section of coaches as you could possibly have. Cincinnati’s Marvin Lewis is the latest LJ sucker. All it took was one 5-yard carry against the Chiefs for LJ to make a fool of Marvin.

Man. Fifty-six is a solid 'F'. To me, the inverted-vagina symbol gets nothing more than a 40.

55 Scott Pioli, GM: Of Egoli’s many first-year crimes as general manager, his defensive personnel trumps investing $63 million in a QB and 63 dollars in receivers and tight ends. Nope, the defensive personnel he gave his first-time head coach was atrocious. Football 101 preaches: You can’t stop the run unless you’re strong up the middle. An average nose tackle (Edwards), an out-of-position defensive end (Dorsey), a rookie defensive end (Jackson), kick-coverage linebackers (Mays and Williams), a washed-up safety (Brown) and a midlevel safety (Page). The strength of KC’s defense was the edge players Carl Peterson left behind (Flowers, Carr and Hali). If the Chiefs open next season with Crennel as defensive coordinator and Charlie Weis as offensive coordinator, it will be official that Pioli doesn’t have one original idea.

Wait. Now this is definitely the worst assessment of all. You give Larry freaking Johnson a higher grade than Pioli? After one year? I'm not even going to get into this. Rumor has it that you think Pioli -- and you're already-tired nickname confirms it -- is a complete asshole, and hey -- you're Jason Whitlock, dude. Big Sexy. Ball State. Guy who preaches about a lack of positive black role models in America, then hypes upcoming columns with crime-and-ghetto references. You deserve better treatment from Pioli. Carl Peterson never treated you this way. Shenanigans all around. The perfect grade for Pioli is this: 'I'. It, in case you're feelings have blinded you, stands for "incomplete."

51 Dwayne Bowe, WR: He’s still dropping too many passes. The league suspended him for four games for violating its drug policy. He had his worst season as a pro. The Bowe Show needs a new location. Unfortunately he has no trade value. I know how this is going to play. Belichick is going to get on the horn and sweet-talk Egoli into handing Bowe over for a peanut butter sandwich and a double cheeseburger to be named later. Bowe will reinvent himself in New England and become a Pro Bowl player.

Too many drops? Check. PED violation? Check. Worst pro season? Check. H-I-larious (Update: Not really.) Pioli jab about getting less than value in return for him? Check. I don't know where this kid's head is or where his future lies, but I certainly can't pass him, especially after flipping a fan the bird at Arrowhead. The fan, in a non-classy move, hollered, "Don't drop the easy ones, Bowe!" during a moment of silence for Chris Henry, and Bowe gave him the finger. Bowe then dropped (at least) two balls that hit him in the hands, including the aforementioned touchdown pass. I'll give him a 57.

50 Todd Haley, coach: I know. You think I hate Haley. I don’t. The guy is really likable. He’s just embarrassingly immature. Good football coaches are patient. Haley has the patience of a mayfly, an insect with a lifespan of 30 minutes, and the game-day decision-making ability of a 13-year-old playing Madden video football for the first time. I’m going to cut my Haley commentary short because you’ve heard me moan and groan about Haley all season. I’m prayerful that he’ll do some heavy self-examination this offseason and come back next season resembling a legit NFL coach.

Complete nonsense. Todd Haley for president.
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Thursday, October 29, 2009

Here is a Post


I'm Cecil, class. I used to be one of the three legs of the indomitable Iron Triangle, before I got a job with the city and stopped breathing. Government work will do that to you.

It's past time--I mean, really past time, like I-can't-believe-my-blogger-log-in-still-works past time--for me to jump back onto this heezy. For shit's sake, my Broncos are 6-0. 6-0! The Nuggets opened up with a YUGE victory over the historically racist Utah Jazz, the Colorado Avalanche are evidently a hockey team and Dan Hawkins looks more and more like Alley Oop with each passing hour.

So, catching up. I've been killing my recent spare web-surfing time at The Big Lead. You probably know it, it's one of the interwebs' bigger sportin' blogs and is mildly famous for being victimized by a Colin Cowherd-sponsored DOS attack. I prefer it to Deadspin for a variety of reasons, chief among them that it doesn't make me want to hang myself with a cloth belt. But there are some cracks in the foundation, ever-widening chasms of netfail that might potentially chase me back to, sigh, work.



Let's start with the biggest: the guy who runs the site (and goes by an eponymous handle) loves, loves, loves him some Jason Whitlock.

Whitlock, to my mind, is the most egregiously awful fraud in sportswriting. He's endlessly egotistical, enamored of his own nonexistent wit, misogynistic to the point of repulsiveness and grossly obese. His voice is fey and cloying, yet he's always on radio and television. He hold meaningless grudges, coins stupid nicknames and is as big a hypocrite as you're likely to encounter over the course of your natural life. I suspect, as well, that he's an editor's nightmare--the dude's practically even admitted as much, saying that he needs someone who "isn't afraid of working hard." By which I guess he means, someone who isn't afraid of waiting for late, shitty copy tossed off by a guy who frames his own clippings.

But because TBL scored an interview with him way back in the infancy of the blogosphere, he's evidently permanently in Big Sexy's camp, no matter what. Fuck, if I see another "you won't believe what Whitlock said now!!" post, I'll switch to the online Christian Science Monitor and start, uh, learning about Christian Science (I think they are for it, but not totally sure).

Second issue: there's this newfound tendency for the commenters to start in on wrestling. Like, Hulk Hogan and shit. With actual opinions, considered arguments, favorites and theories. Fucking wrestling. I had no idea that anyone over the age of 11 and not permanently time-looped in the year 1986 actually cared about wrestling. Honest, I didn't. Nor did I want to find out that, all this time, I was wrong and that there they were, hiding out in cyberspace, telling each other tall tales of Rowdy Roddy Piper and the NWO. I can handle the occasionaly political blowups, the meatheads who think they can punch you through their computer screen and even the Bears fans who wake up each morning with a tall glass of Pure Delusion, but wrestling? Fuck me. I don't want to think about wrestling, even by accident. Thanks a ton for that, TBL.

Otherwise, good blog.
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Thursday, May 7, 2009

Those Sweet Nugs


Time for yet another analysis-free post on the sudden playoff domination of the Denver Nuggets, currently holding a 2-0 series lead on a baffled group of Mavericks that's already whining and making excuses.

It's hard to get my head wrapped around this team. Used to be that a good regular season--which by itself hasn't happened too often, honestly--was followed by a quick first-round beatdown. Usually by the Spurs and Balki, but also by the Lakers and, embarassingly, Clippers. God that Clips series sucked.

But this year, 50 + wins have proved to actually mean something; unlike, say, what that number meant to last season's 50 win team, which couldn't have been more dysfunctional if it featured the brothers from Oasis at both guard positions and more inflexible in crunch time if it had been coached by a boxing nun puppet.

The difference? You know what's coming. But follow down below anyway. It's what the cool kids are doing.


That's right. The number on reason that the Nuggets have marble-mouthed drunk Charles Barkley picking them to win the NBA title: the pride of George Washington High School, the King of Park Hill, Denver's new No. 7. The Chauncey.

I'm obviously not the first person to write that--by my rough estimation, that's actually somewhere around the 149,367th time this year that someone's ascribed the Nugs' revitalization to Billups--but shit, it's the truth. In retrospect, how crazy was that trade? I love AI as a player but he and Carmelo couldn't co-exist basketball-wise. Both guys need the ball to be successful, and Melo was never going to learn to take a step back for the betterment of the team as a whole when he was constantly worried about getting touches. AI, unfortunately, has that effect. Because as good as he is, and he's one of the most amazing athletes I've ever watched--no matter what Jason Whitlock says--he sucks the life out of his teammates because they never see the rock.

*Also, quick aside: Whitlock is busy hammering Will Leitch at realclearsports via The Big Lead. I'm no big fan of Leitch's, but nearly every one of those criticisms could be just as easily turned around and applied to his barbecue-stained self. And his bagging of Selena Roberts is hilarious. What the hell does Whitlock know about real journalism? He's been writing the same misoygnistic, single-note column for 15 years and has expended no discernible effort in doing so. He's a sideshow, chattering teeth.

The Chauncey's arrival has done more for Carmelo's game than any coach has, but more importantly, it's destroyed the sense of fatalism that has been surrounding this team. Now, a 50 win season carries with it the promise of something actually interesting happening after. Like a Finals appearance.
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Thursday, April 9, 2009

Baseball in the Daytime: 4-9-09



It's true: This image has absolutely zero to do with today's installment of "Baseball in the Daytime," but sometimes, when looking for art to go along with your piece, you stumble across something you can't pass up, and in this case, I'm a N.D. fan, so, uh, like, there, or something. Anyway, there are nine, count 'em, nine, baseball games that will have all but transpired by the time the bankers of the country punch their out cards this afternoon. Dig in for some heavy previewage, or just make like most of the readers and skip this feature altogether. If you're into it, it's after the jump.

Los Mets @ Los Rojos, 11:35 Central: Starters in today's first tilt are an interesting pair. There are two somewhat-known O. Perezes associated with professional baseball. One his a fat, out-of-work, former Royal from the Dominican. The other one is pretty decent. His name's Oliver, he's put together 25 wins for the Mets over the last two campaigns, and he'll toe the slab opposite Old No. 7 favorite Bronson Arroyo today. The Mets would like to make this a sweep as Cecil's Marlins have already done so with their debut series. Catch the tilt on DirecTV 721, or have a listen: XM 183.

Tigers @ Blue Jays, 11:37: If your name is Fredrick Alfred, you've got a few nickname options. If you go with "Rick," well, you're a bigger man than I. Rick Porcello gets the nod for the Motown visitors today. His counterpart: Ricky Romero. That's right; it's a dual of Rickies. One's a lefty, the other one isn't. You can watch both of them on DirecTV 722, or listen to the commentators poke fun of their names -- which isn't guaranteed -- on XM 178.

Mariners @ Twins, 12:10: Jarrod Washburn goes for the non-Pilots today. Glen Perkins hopes to lead the Twinkies. Three games into the season, these two clubs are right where you'd expect: Minnesota with a half-game lead in the Central; Seattle's in the Western basement. DirecTV's got the broadcast on channel 723. It's 179 on XM.

Rays @ Red Sox, 12:35: The Beantown affair likely has the best pitching duel on the slate today as Matt Garza takes on Daisuke Matsuzaka. This'll be the rubbber match of the series, and a chance to gain some ground on the Eastern birds, the Blue Jays and the Orioles. Those two clubs, along with the last-place Yankees have got the Sox and Rays sandwiched in the East, and I really enjoyed typing that. A lot. The DirecTV guide says 726 if you root for Tampa, 727 if you don't. XM offers one option, and that's 177.

Yankees @ Orioles, 12:35: Speak of the devil, A.J. Burnett hopes to get the pinstripes their first win, while Alberto Simon goes for the O's. If you like losers, your feed comes in on DirecTV 724. If you live where "The Wire" was filmed, catch it on 725, which of course is a perfect opportunity to mention that Jason Whitlock's interview with "Wire" producer David Simon is slated to air during the second hour of the Jim Rome show today, which is a conflict if you're trying to listen to the game, something easily accomplished on XM 176.

Pirates @ Cardinals, 12:40: We follow those potential gems with a contest nobody cares about. Curtis Ohlendorf'll toss of for the Steel Town kid-fuckers. Representing the Busch Stadium blow-jobbers is Chris Carpenter. Seven twenty-eight's the gig for you DirecTVers, while XM suggests 184.

Indians @ Rangers, 1:05: The sensitive-minded probably take issue with the mascots meeting in Arlington today, as the Texas team nickname is offensive to, like, the Earth and stuff. If you can get over that, Carl Pavano goes for the Tribe. Brandon McCarthy is your Tex-ass starter. The Lone Star squad seeks a series sweep. Jesus wants Clevelanders to watch DirecTV 729. George W. supporters are likely to prefer 730. Flip the dial to XM 181 if you're of the radio-listening variety.

Royals @ White Sox, 1:05: It's a battle of D's in the Windy City: Kyle Davies is the Royals' righty slated for today, while lefty John Danks goes for the stockings. If you're in the KC metro, FSKC will televise, and 610 AM will broadcast. Outside of the area, DirecTV has it on -- well, slap me pink -- 731 for the blue fans, 732 for the all-whites. XM carries it on 180. Insert shameless plug for the Royals to take this one, and the series with it.

Dodgers @ Padres, 2:35: Finally, Clayton Kershaw and Kevin Correia go at it in the N.L. West. I won't be tuning in to this one, as drunk Dodger fan Johnny Utah will likely need to be bailed out of jail right around first pitch. Catch the action on DirecTV 733, or XM 185.

There you have it. Your fun-filled BitD schedule for the first Thursday of the season, and here I go, off to knock back my first scotch of the morning.
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Saturday, February 21, 2009

Feeling the Draft '09: Welcome Back, Kids


You smell that? (No--not that. That's just the Miller High Life Lite talkin'.) Smells like...combine.

I've waited to put together the first of what promises to be an exhaustive, repetitive and totally uninformed-by-any-actual-reportage series of posts on the 2009 NFL Draft until now, when the GMs and coaches and agents and potential Kansas City first round busts have all gathered in Indianapolis. It's kind of like waiting until Christmas Morning to open your presents; doing it early cheapens the experience.

Follow past the jump for more...


I haven't really decided how I'm gonna approach these, but I do know that my live bloggin' of the actual event will be condensed into one easy-to-follow post, so we can enjoy your hundreds of pertinent and not-dumb comments in one place. Last year's shotgun approach wore my typing fingers out, and then I got drunk too early. I'm sure there's a connection somewhere.

Anyway. Let's pop onto teh internets for a few items concerning the two teams that we care about here. That's right: the Saints and Vikings.

It's official, kinda. The Broncos are openly admitting that they plan to move to a 3-4 defense. At least some of the time. Other times, who knows? Maybe they'll use a 2-5. Or a 9-11. 10-4, good buddy.

We'll look at players who'd fit in later; my problem with the 3-4 is, and has always been, that it's hard to staff. You have to find a nose tackle who crushes Winchell's donuts, linebackers that are actually light defensive ends who can drop in pass coverage and actual ends that are more like 4-3 tackles, except taller. Preferably.

Jeff Legwold did a piece a while back--I'm too lazy to find the exact link at the moment--comparing the sizes of Denver's D-linemen with those of the two most successful 3-4 squads out there, the Patriots and Steelers. It wasn't pretty. There are basically no players on Denver's team who fit the ideal size profile of *any* front seven position in a 3-4, with the exception of Jarvis Moss as a potential outside 'backer. We simply don't have those 6'5, 300+ dudes you need to hold the edge as ends, nor anyone resembling a true nose tackle.

And with more teams going to a 3-4, those players are going to be harder to find.

Teams like, say, the Kansas City Chiefs?

Also from today's Rocky:
"It makes the Broncos one of several teams making the change - the Green Bay Packers recently made the switch to a 3-4 with Dom Capers as their new defensive coordinator, and the Kansas City Chiefs are expected to change once they choose their defensive coordinator - and puts them on hunt to fill some new roles in the scheme."

Ohh realllly? This is news to me. KC has invested a lot of high draft picks along the defensive line in recent years, and they were pretty much all 4-3 guys. Glenn Dorsey is a 4-3 guy. Tamba Hali is a 4-3 guy. Maybe Tank is a 3-4 nose...maybe. But it seems to me that the team that won't even tell its new coaching staff what their jobs are has more to lose in this switch than we do, since we've basically invested nothing up front over the last decade. And yes, it shows.

Our new head coach has evidently been studying up on the Patriot Guide to Dealing With the News Media. At least he's smiling.

Along with pretty much everyone else, I think the Chefs need to draft a quarterback. I know everyone loves The Tyler Thigpen Story, and it's cute, but of such are the 2-14 seasons made.

Question is, who? This isn't a great draft for quarterbacks-one of the worst in a long time, actually--and there are widely divergent opinions of the early favorites, Matt Stafford and Mark Sanchez. Profootballtalk.com quoted a source--who may not exist, you never know with them--as saying that Stafford "pees his pants" under pressure. Ouch. And there isn't exactly a long list of one-year college starters who have gone on to NFL fame and fortune, as Sanchez attempts to do. So are either of them worth the #3 pick overall?

Or will they end up with someone like this kid, who played down the road a spell? Or this one, who shares an alma mater with Jim Everett and Bob Griese?

Or this one, whose selection would cause Whitlock to immediately engage in a furious session of onanism in the middle of the middle of the Star's newsroom? That's what I'm rooting for. Because if there's one thing our Administrator can't get enough of, it's Big Sexy talkin' up his peeps from Ball State.





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Monday, November 17, 2008

Monday Mutiny: Gooooooooooo Broncos!

Two thousand eight, how will I gaze upon thee 20 years from now? I have a feeling that words cannot describe how, simply because those words haven't yet been invented. That is, our language is so stale, so devoid of freshness, that even our curse words have shifted in terms of acceptance. By 2028, I am certain that there will be new curses, new insulting gestures, and a newish lists of the seven deadlies, and all of those things will be used to describe the Kansas City Chiefs under Herm Edwards' tenure. No, this isn't the beginning of another Herm-bashing piece, but it is where I say, hey Joe -- that hope, the flashes of possibility the Chiefs gave us the past three weeks, was pure falseness.

I'm not even going to break the game down or look at stats or talk about Larry Johnson's return to the team or rah-rah the "new look" of the Chiefs offense. You know things are really, really bad when you think the following: Jason Whitlock of The Kansas City Star said it all. The Kansas City Chiefs are pure losers.

"The losing makes us all look and feel like losers. Plus, we have no gurantee this patch of wretchedness will usher in change we can believe in."


Count it. Jackpot. I'm a Chiefs fan, therefore, I am a loser. I have found myself spurting different blasts of emotion about the AFC West in the past few weeks, and yesterday was no exception. I had some strange feeling leading up to this game that this would be the week the Chiefs ended the stretch of losing. I was wrong, and therefore, I am a loser for allowing myself to think that. I've been hoping for this team to get a couple of recent wins to get us out of last place, leapfrog the Raiders. For most of yesterday afternoon, the Raiders looked like they'd beat the Miami Dolphins, winners of one game a year ago. With 38 seconds left, the Dolphins kicked a game-winning field goal, and the Raiders lost, making them losers to a squad of recent losers, and me an even greater loser for hoping for that. The San Diego Chargers, often touted as a talented, stacked team, could not beat the Pittsburgh Steelers yesterday, making them the worst second-place team in the league. Well, outside of the NFC West, anyway. They, too, though, are losers.

Then, there are the Atlanta Falcons, a surprising team out of the NFC South that manhandled the Chiefs in late September, a team that has seen authentic hope in the likes of Matt Ryan and Michael Turner. All day, they led their contest at home against the Denver Broncos, only to lose it late in the game. This of course, keeps the Broncos in first place in the West, making the whole mess of things a Loserville for citizens to wallow in, a Loser City where the odds are always stacked against you.

A look at the standings today shows the NFC North as the division with the worst first-place team, but in that division are the 0-10 Lions, and three 5-5 clubs all tied -- tie-breaking scenarios aside -- for first. That means that the competition is tougher there, ultimately leaving the Denver Broncos as the worst first-place club in football. Those Broncos, the only club to lose to the loser Chiefs, can pretty much set the cruise control, and coast into a division title. And I am going to root for just that.

Don't get me wrong, though. I don't like the Denver Broncos. I just want them to win the division, so that I can enjoy every minute of the post-season pummelling they will endure in January, which only makes my wife, a loser for marrying me, the proud owner of a garment like this:


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Friday, November 14, 2008

Friday Morning Fracas: 11-14-08

Well, we've got a lot to cover this Friday fun day, and we'll kick it off with a slice of NFL. I still maintain that the NFL Network can get bent for having TV rights to the Thursday games, and yes -- I know: it's their own product, and that's quite the American thing to do. I suppose it somehow justifies my desire to watch all three Sunday games as well as the Monday night game. Somehow. Anyway, the slate for these contests has now featured back-to-back awesome fourth-quarter/game-ending finishes, so kudos to the jackasses for gettin lucky. Click into our non-exclusiveness, just after the jump, for more pigskin professorings, sort of.

I usually start my morning off with a little Leather action. Okay, not really. I usually have to wait a few hours until Ufford's gotten around to "St. Andrew's Net," but nevertheless, I hit that up first, and it usually kicks my day off really right. Today would be an exception, as they share with us the news that Fire Joe Morgan is calling it a day, and frankly, I'm crushed. They were the masters of sayin' it, and sayin' it well, and they'll go out in no less style:

"For now, we will leave the site and the archives up as a testament to the fact that if you work hard enough, and blow off enough social occasions, and stare at the internet enough, and get nerdy enough, and repeatedly ignore entreaties from your friends and loved ones to please God stop blogging about Bill Plaschke and get out of the house it's a beautiful day!, then you, too, can...have a blog."


If and when you next find yourself bored, staring at the computer, wondering what site to peruse next. Go to FJM; they're leaving the archives up. There is literally, six metric tons of good reading there.

Regarding last night's largely untelevised contest of American football, the Leatherheads thought it was boring, claiming that there were only two reasons to be interested in this match: "you had fantasy players involved, or you're a douche bag."

The Big Lead, however would disagree. I wasn't really aware how Jet-rrific these guys are, but now I am. I like the quote they put up at the end of last night's game:

"Favre in an interview just now: 'Randy Moss told me to throw a pick after the coin toss in overtime.'”




Regardless of the fact that I had to go to an establishment and SPEND MY HARD-EARNED money on $1.25 cans of Hamm's to catch it, I thought it was a great game. What's not to love about Matt Cassel, scrambling and hitting Randy "push off" Moss in the corner of the endzone with one second left? Oh, yeah. Now I remember: Pats-Jets. Guess With Leather was right. Great finish, though, especially when it involves a crinkly faced Belichick forced to clasp his second-place hand into the first-place hand of his former protege.

Speaking of coaches, Mr. Whitlock has put together a post over yonders on the FoxNets. Its lists the best 10/worst 10 coaches in football. I have frequently waivered regarding agreement/disagreement with his opinions. Today is no different. He's got Jim freaking Zorn listed as the best coach in the game. Herm Edwards doesn't make either list, and Mike Shanahan appears in the category that doesn't rhyme with breast.

In other footballiness, I'll just say that if Big Daddy Drew's Jamboroo over at Deadspin ever stops sucking, then I'll stop linking to it. That's not this week, though; BDD is certain that the Detroit Lions are going to go 0-16.

"I think Detroit fans deserve an 0-16 team, and I don’t mean that as an insult. I mean, what more fitting way to cap the end of Matt Millen’s reign of fucktardedness than by going 0-16? What more proper legacy of shittiness can that idiot have bestowed upon that town? Look, if you’re a Lion fan, and you had to sit through season after season of breathtaking incompetence, you should at least get a little memento for your trouble."


Granted, the guy takes immeasurable liberties with profanity, and jokes regarding cocks and fecal matter, but who doesn't? There's much more funniness and truth to the post beyond that quote, so give it a gander.

That's it for now. Check back in later for some Eff Kyoobed.
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Sunday, July 20, 2008

Sunday Sermon: Local Columnists

Without any established system, and with myself probably not even aware of it all of the time, I grade my sports section. An eight-page sports section seldom gets an 'A.' That's nobody's fault; it's just not enough substance for me. The Sunday sports section seldom gets one either. It's usually got some good points, but then is full of crap like high school sports and fishing and NASCAR. Eff that nonsense. Today's was pretty darn good, though. Maybe even B+ material. Joe Posnanski published a great article on former Kansas City Royal Carlos Beltran, and Jason Whitlock examines how the Chiefs will be different than any Chiefs team he's covered since his employment with The Kansas City Star began. There's some other good stuff in there, but the two things I mentioned really got me thinking.

When this post was published here on the House by Old No. 7, I was impressed by it. Check that, I still am. It's intelligent, full of quality, Wikipedia-free evidence and lucid thinking. I don't aim to disagree with any of it entirely, but I do feel like there are one or two things left unanswered after reading Joe Posnanski's article in today's paper. To me, the crux of the issue falls somewhere in here:

By continually sucking, (the Royals) add credence to the outdated notion that small-market teams can't comepete. That's simply not true anymore. There's more than one way to skin a cat, and there's more than one way to win at big league baseball. If you don't have the revenue streams the Yankees, Sox, Cubs, Dodgers and Angels do, baseball gives you money. If you don't sign the big free agents those teams do, baseball gives you draft picks to get your own players. It's like the teacher is giving you a cheat sheet before the test. All you have to do is take it.


Yes. Baseball gives you money if your revenue stream ain't large, and yes, you get draft picks. How, though, is a team supposed to deal with a situation like the one the Royals had with Carlos Beltran? He's earning $17 million a year from Los Mets; the Royals' total payroll is around $56. Regardless, I'll share some interesting quotes from JoePos' piece:

1) It's almost been 10 years since the Royals called Beltran up from the minors.
2) Saturday night in Omaha, the AAA Royals gave out 1500 Beltran statues to the first 1500 fans. Apparently, he was the fan favorite of the the decade, and the kicker is that Beltran played no more and no less than five games there.
3) When the call-up happened, Beltran hit 22 homeruns, swiped 27 bags, and joined Joe DiMaggio in the company of rookies that would drive to net 100 RsBI, and cross home plate just as many times.
4) Posnanski asserts that it was at that moment that everyone knew the countdown was on, that it wouldn't be long "before the Royals would not be able to afford Carlos Beltran."
5) Through seven seasons with the boys in blue, Beltran left himself eighth in Royals history on the RsBI radar with 516, eighth in home runs with 123, eighth in runs scored with 546, fourth in slugging with .483, fourth in OBPS with .835, and third in grand slams with four.

Those are impressive numbers, and he holds those positions and trails guys that mostly spent their entire careers in KC, back when nobody made anywhere near $17 million a year. Just sayin'.

The flip side of the journalism coin today would be the one and only Jason Whitlock talking Chiefs football. Well, he's kind of talking about Chiefs football. He's addressing his column, the history of it and what it will become along with this new Chiefs team. He speculates that it will be quite the ride, though.

On the incumbent side, Whitlock wonders about Larry Johnson's injury from last year, and how it might affect his game this year. Whitlock thinks that Johnson could be past his prime, will continue to be moody, and if the offensive line struggles, he'll be likely to mope. He also worries about Derrick Johnson never developing consistency, Donnie Edwards getting old, and Tamba Hali not even coming close to filling Jared Allen's shoes.

This, he says, leaves us with two options. The first would be for Brodie Croyle to "shock the world and show flashes of being a legitimate starting NFL quarterback," and the second is for Dwayne Bowe and Glenn Dorsey -- the "Louisiana Purchases" as he puts it -- to become "stone-cold ballers."

It comes as no surprise to me that Whitlock, along with the rest of the world, has given up on not only the Chiefs before they break for camp, but also on Croyle before he gets to log a complete season as the starter. I'm not saying that I'm moving from my 6-10 prediction on the '08 Chiefs, and I'm not saying Croyle will be even as good as Trent Green was. I am saying that the Chiefs could potentially show a lot of competence and confidence in terms of putting a pretty darn good 2009 squad on the field, which would be perfect timing honestly. I don't think I've ever celebrated an AL Central and an AFC West division championship in the same season. Actually, I know I haven't. The Royals have actually never won the AL Central, but claimed the AL West crown seven or eight times.

I've mentioned it before, but I really do think things are looking up for the Royals. They've spent a lot of time not in last place in the Central this season. They could take the series from the White Sox today, having struggled a ton in recent years at US Cellular. Zack Greinke has been bumped up to the one spot in the rotation. Billy Butler's bat has come back around. Mike Aviles leads the team in batting average at .309, and with the Tigers in town tomorrow, the Royals could actually make considerable movement toward overtaking their third-place slot, and creep even closer to a .500 record. Of course they could get swept and drop back into last, too, but that wouldn't be very cool. Now would it?
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Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Fatlock Follies: Hugh Hefner's Gift, Stellar Literary Journalism and Burnt Ends on Bun

Today being Tuesday, we typically come at our readers with a little weekly installment called "Tradition Tuesday." I opine that it's one of our better features, and it typically starts with a sentence that goes something like, "The rough focus of this blog is the rivalry between the Kansas City Chiefs and the Denver Broncos." I write that. Old No. 7 writes that, and someday maybe Cecil will, too. It's a true statement. And I posit that, to paraphrase Seven, the rough philosophy of this blog is to crack wise. We attempt to cover sports, and be funny doing it, and that's the nature of the House of Georges. From time to time, however, we take a serious stance. It's not something we intend to make a practice of, by any means. Race in America, is a serious issue, perhaps the most of them all. This post will attempt to analyze Jason Whitlock's article "The Black KKK" in this month's issue of Playboy. Last month, I wrote a reactionary post (Editor's Note: The post got me in a bit of hot water with both my colleagues and a few readers) to a Whitlock column in The Kansas City Star.

The column warned Star readers that the forthcoming article had been unjustly titled by Playboy Editorial Director Christopher Napolitino and his colleagues. While I found it odd -- not an uncommon opinion of mine regarding Whitlock -- that he would devote local sports-page column inches to preempt a literary piece in a national publication, I did agree with his general consensus. Whitlock was told by the editors that the title would stick, there would be an equally inappropriate sub-heading to it, and that this was the first of several attempts by the magazine to, in a sense, sensationalize, or get reader attention via bold and daring, if even unrelated, headlines. While it'd be much easier to crack wise about Tiger Woods' opinion on hockey, or whine about Mixed Martial Arts ratings trumping Stanley Cup Finals ratings, the issue has been out for a number of weeks now, and today, finally, I'll attempt to break it down.

But first, an anecdote regarding the (non-online) purchase of pornography in the year 2008. Circa 1989, I, still too young to drive, rode my 10-speed to the neighborhood bookstore. I had for some time been infatuated with the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issues, and, in my infinite wisdom, decided that the scantily clad no longer satiated my hormonal needs; I wanted the real thing. At the magazine shelf -- a mere eight feet from the checkout counter -- I, lacking everything in the department of sly, stuffed an issue of Playboy inside an issue of Rolling Stone and attempted to purchase (Note: See also, steal) the latter. To this day, I'm grateful that the cashier on duty was a dude not much older than me, one who perhaps recognized my plight. Our conversation went something like:

Cashier: (flips Rolling Stone open right to the spot where the Playboy was) You, uh, want to buy this one, too?
Young Bankmeister: (with quarts of adrenaline, tweaked nerves, cracking voice) Yes, please.

He rang me up, and I couldn't get out of there fast enough. Thanks, dude, for not alerting the local law enforcement officials.

Twenty years later, materials of this nature are -- this just in -- readily and plentifully available, for free, at the click of a mouse. That is, the images are. If you want the articles, you gotta by a hard copy. When Whitlock's column in the Star came out, I was certain he said it'd be on the stands on May 9. So I scooted down to the 7-11, and asked the young girl behind the counter if they had the latest issue. She gave me that sweet-request-you-creep look, and retrieved it. I, fumbling and awkward, said that I wanted it for the Whitlock article, and anxiously perused the contents listed on the cover. She didn't understand, and with a semi-fearful look, gazed at her male co-worker (equally young) who muttered something about recognizing Whitlock's name. She then produced a Penthouse and asked if that was the one I wanted. It was roughly the most uncomfortable three minutes of my life. And naturally, when I got home, the article was not there. It was, however, advertised in the "Next Month" section at the back.

Sweet. Guess who was working when I revisited the 7-11. Same girl. Same awkward request. Same awful transaction, one resulting in a, "Have a good night." It was like six in the evening, and I wanted to tell her that my plans for the evening were in fact deeper than a 15-minute date with the magazine, and that she couldn't fathom how odd this was, given the Internets, but I hustled out of there, somewhat the same 15-year-old on a 10-speed. So there's that. Back to the article.

In a nutshell, the piece is awesome. Whitlock went to California and researched government dollars, statistics and effects of incarceration, and theorized that the movement of mass imprisonment is -- and I paraphrase here -- the root of gang behavior, activity, and mentality in the United States today. Of course that's a loaded statement, one that takes time to process, and formulate a response. It's important to note here that I am white, Jason Whitlock is black, and a large portion of the folks he writes about in this particular piece are black and Hispanic. If I had one wish in the world, and the endless-supply-of-cash-hookers-and-cocaine wish was not allowed, I would wish for it not to be important that I announce my ethnicity. I mean, it's important to a degree, I guess, but it'd be nice to be able to have an opinion about an important issue, and accept that opinion as one from a person about people, but that is likely all-too-utopian.

Whitlock kicks the piece off by mentioning an organization of which I had never heard: the California Correctional Peace Officers Association (CCPOA). He mentions them because, according to his findings, they are one of the most powerful entities in the state. There are 180,000 people in California jails. Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger's most recent correctional facilities budget calls for $9 billion in incarceration expenses, and his solution is to release some 11 percent of those prisoners to cut those costs, but, "Prison guards run the state, and they have no interest in fewer bodies to supervise," he writes. The author next mentions a person that, until I read, was unknown to me: Julian Mendoza (Note: Links are not biographical in nature, but columns of his from the Amer-I-Can -- a Jim Brown-founded organization that aims to "change one's life and help him or her to become a contributor to a better community and ultimately, a better nation" -- newsletter.).

Whitlock attends a Mendoza speech at a locked-down youth camp, one the speaker has frequented more than weekly for over 10 years, and the theme of the delivery is fear, a concept he tells the "brown and black boys" "why you're here...why you come back...why you won't change." Later in the piece, Whitlock returns to the topic of Amer-I-Can, but at this point in the piece, he takes a political stance.

"For the first time in our history we are seriously wrestling with the idea of electing a black man to the nation's highest office...The mixed-race man who is best qualified on day one to fight domestic terrorism and explain to white America why it's in everybody's best interest to disarm, convert and rehabilitate the Crips, Bloods and Mexican Mafia members in our prisons hasn't addressed the topic, because he runs the risk of being labeled too nonwhite."


Whitlock tells us, via a pastor from a South Central L.A. church that this is not a topic for Barack Obama to focus on, as it would "scare off too many Caucasian voters." He then brings us back to the theme of fear, and cites two studies in doing so:

"*One in every 100 American adults resides behind bars.
*One out of every nine black men between the ages of 20 and 34 is incarcerated.
*Hispanics outnumber all other ethnic groups in prison.
*America incarcerates 800,000 more people than China and nearly three times as many people as Russia.
*If current rates of incarceration remain unchanged, 28.5 percent of black men will be confined in prison at least once during their lifetime."


All of this, Whitlock says, can be traced back to fear. It's fear of crime, and allowing that fear, coupled with the drug war, to "rule our criminal-justice policies." This duo, he adds, facilitates gang life behind bars, and transcends the incarcerated, into the families and neighborhoods of loved ones. Whitlock portends that, for every man in jail, there is a network of loved ones that suffer with him, and with the ever-growing number of incarcerated, "it is not at all surprising that black youth culture -- music, communication, appearance, attitude, parenting and socializing -- reflects values associated with surviving while incarcerated." He notes that values like sagging pants and child abandonment are "driven by a mentality refined behind prison walls and celebrated, exploited and promoted by the music industry and Hollywood.

He intelligently reminds us that it is a great variety of Americans, not just blacks and Hispanics, that, to varying degrees, have embraced the hip-hop/prison culture, and done so having overlooked consequences that materialize in the form of violent death, disrespect, and hatred. He also argues that this issue has spread into the ranks of government and politics as something that "tears at the patriotic fabric necessary to sustain a free nation." Movies, video games, a frightening hunger for money and fame, Whitlock writes, have skewed the priorities of many Americans, and the prison system is to blame. He speaks with Gerald Harris, a retired Department of Corrections administrator about how to fix the prison situation in California. During the course of three decades at his post, Harris watched the California prison population not double, not triple, but octuple.

Part of that increase, Whitlock says, is a result of those imprisoned for non-violent crimes, even if they are third-time felons, a conviction of which lands one a mandatory 25-year sentence, and was cultivated by former Governor Pete Wilson's three-strikes bill against criminals. Also during Harris' time in office, 20 new facilities were erected, and the state's corrections budget hit the number it's at now, and increase from $300 million. Additionally, the construction of those prisons largely overshadowed the addition of one university to the state of California.

Back to the CCPOA: it's 30,000 strong, and commands a pay rate more than double that of the national average. The salaries tower over those of teachers, and in cases where a worker logs more than 40 hours in a week, they can hit the hundred-thousand mark. Some, Whitock adds, earn more than the governor himself. More frightening than wages, though, is the political power the organization holds. Allegedly, millions of dollars are spent on political candidates, and efforts to thwart their stronghold are often, if not always, squashed. The current governor had even appointed a prison specialist to breakdown the fierce force of the CCPOA. He lasted two years before stepping down due to alleged intimidation.

Whitlock quotes former Chief of Education and Inmate Programs for the state D.O.C., and she claims that the CCPOA does in fact run the prisons. She talks of large numbers and piles of dollars that keep them in place, and continuously provide new employment. "It is the most powerful union I have ever seen in my lifetime," Wanda Briscoe says. There is even speculation that altercations in the prisons are provoked by guards; fighting and riots mean more wages for the guards, as overtime dollars are deemed necessary to keep the prisoners at bay, and one source in the story goes so far as to say that guards will intentionally pit Mexican and black gangsters together, knowing the likely outcome. And it gets worse. Further speculations suggests that organized crime in prison benefits all parties involved, that there is coincidence in the high cost of legal representation, and the desire to keep prison labor -- allegedly more valuable/desired than that of illegal immigrants -- in high demand.

Then there is the outside, a world in which the previously incarcerated and the probationed, are persuaded to maintain the gang-related behaviors they learned in prison. Whitlock's article suggests that the behavior is somewhat unavoidable on the inside; many try to mind their own business upon incarceration, then trouble hits, sides are selected, and survival becomes the first and foremost mindset. On the outside, the assignment is (frequently) to kill a member of the opposing side, behaviors glorified by groups like N.W.A., and artists like Snoop Dogg and Tupac Shakur. It all translates, Whitlock says, to the streets, and more specifically, the schools, where teacher safety equates to how those teachers treat their children.

Whitlock spoke with Professor Emeritus of Psychology at UC-Berkeley Harry Edwards, who offered the following:

"The values and perspectives of hopelessness spawned in society are intensified inside prison walls and then are revisited upon the community," Edwards says, which almost makes the schools replicas of the prisons. "The very vehicle -- education -- that is supposed to give kids hope is now an extension of the prison system...You can't teach when you're worried about safety. You can't learn when your primary concern is safety."


There, then, are many facets of the problem(s), and Whitlock nominates Jim Brown as the best candidate to take charge of the solution. He says that Brown's program has 20 years of experience in dealing with relationships of folks in many of these circumstances, that Amer-I-Can is a starting point. He interviewed Brown, who told him, "I've never talked a man out of a gang. That's not what we do. We talk people out of doing gang criminal activity." Brown tells Whitlock that their successes have come via education, often times within the prisons themselves.

Perhaps even more profound is a statement from a former cop and juvenile-prison chaplain. "There's no stigma when you go to jail," says Bishop Hendricks. "When I was growing up the family was embarrassed. When you went to jail it was a mind-boggling experience. Nowadays going to jail is a badge of honor."

And then Whitlock brings Mendoza back into the piece, the notion of the paroled being banned from associating with gang members and neighborhoods acting as a one-way ticket back to prison. "You're basically telling guys," Mendoza says, "(d)on't go home and don't associate with your family."

There is the philosophy of doing just that, too. A quote from the story suggests that the corruption and violence within the prisons forces intelligent inmates to disassociate with friends and loved ones, as refusing to think about them fosters honed survival mentalities, and not discussing or being visited by them keeps sacred information away from dangerous fellow inmates.

Whitlock closes the piece by offering his own suggestions of how to make the situation better. And it is just that: a situation. A major one. A lot of this information -- the gang activity and violence in the streets -- has been portrayed in many films and rap lyrics. It's what's on the inside -- behind the bars -- that hasn't, a notion Whitlock suggests gave birth to the more-recognized streets aspect of society. He wants it to change, and he is not alone.

At the beginning of this post, I said I'd analyze his article, and I've changed my mind, to an extent. Before writing this, I finished reading it for the third time in 10 days, and the information is there, concise, yet rattling in my cage. Whitlock has taken the time and energy to do the research, and put his findings to the page. In lieu of analysis, I'm left with the desire to question three things. Here, perhaps, is where it's important that I noted my demographic, and here, most certainly, is where I commend Whitlock on a job well done. But I question, nevertheless:

1) Why is the focus of education and rehabilitation starting with the imprisoned, the already-criminally labeled? Why not harness the knowledge, perhaps the focus of Amer-I-Can, and use it to at least try and keep folks out of prison in the first place?

2) How can this many people know, and share information regarding such knowledge, about the corruption within the California prison system, and more specifically the CCPOA? Aren't there dozens of television programs on every day of the week wherein scandals -- for lack of a better word -- are exposed and duly addressed?

3) In the post I linked to in the beginning, I suggested that Whitlock transition into a new role, perhaps that of role model. He has, in his Star columns, and to a lesser degree in this article, said that good black male role models are scarce. And as I've said, I agree. Can't a man of his stature and success take on such a role? If not, can't he be a liasion for role models, a contractor and contactor of folks?

I believe he A-Meri-I- Can.
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