Wednesday Whatnot: Fresh Princery

Musta thought it was StubTube day. Enjoy.

(props to With Leather)
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The Return of Blanche Feverpiss: Californicated Red Stockings, HoG25 Draft Action & Other Miscellaneous Bullshit No One Cares About

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Friday Morning Fracas: Makin' Posts Outta Nothin' At All

Stuff and junk, after the jump.

The Denver Broncos are close to getting a five-year deal signed with first-round pick Knowshon Moreno. And in Kansas City, it appears that the Chiefs are also close to a five-year deal with fifth overall pick Tyson Jackson.

Speaking of Denver, 13,000 strong booed the Broncos last night, leading head Denver idiots Kyle Orton and Josh McDaniels to say things like, "We have good fans," and "I've been around for a while," respectively. Really, Kyle? Really Josh? Did you guys know they just found the Loch Ness monster, too?

Royals fans: If you can't imagine things being worse than this season, then do not click here to read about what's going on down on the farm. Consider yourselves warned.

If you haven't read this headline about nasty ol' Pig Slapi, peep it. It's a good one.

I mentioned yesterday that there was day baseball on the MLB.TVs. Apparently, there's plenty more of that to come. Hip, hip, hooray! for day baseball.

I remember being stoked when it was announced that the Chiefs would be on HBO's "Hard Knocks." Of course, an unnamed colleague of mine promptly rained on my parade by mentioning that every team that'd been on it immediately had a terrible season, which panned out for them, as well as the previously featured Dallas Cowboys and Baltimore Ravens. But...what happens if you put an already shitty team on the program? Like the Cincinnati Bengals? Do they make a Super Bowl run? We shall see.

If you haven't checked in with ol' JoePos recently, he's doing a Yuni watch, and pimping his new book pretty hard core:




Speaking of Joe, put this in your pipe and smoke it.

Oh, boy. We're in for a doozy of a weekend.

And, a giant Gemma Atkinson bikini collection.

Happy Friday, people.
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Thursday ThumbTubes & YouNails: Just Four 'Tubes, People. Just Four 'Tubes

Below the jump you'll find us straying from the norm. There are no YouNails with attached links, but four Tubes of the Stub variety. Two of them don't really matter. Two of them don't really matter, either. You might enjoy one or more, though, so get watching.

If you like U2, and you liked the "Money for Nothing," the "Sledgehammer," and the "Land of Confusion" videos, maybe you'll like this, maybe you won't.

Shatner on Palin on Conan:



Uh, yeah...

Saw this one recently. It rules.



This one's been making the rounds a bit lately, but damn. For anyone that's ever been a part of any wedding, you gotta love it:


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Friday Morning Fracas: Obligatory Aspen Tasting

A couple of weeks ago, when the House of Georges staff got together for our quarterly semi-bi-annual staff meeting, we of course chatted about sports and the Internets. The pieced-together conversations would be of little-to-no interest to our readers, but, below the jump, there are a few nuggets worth probing. Or maybe not. Decide for yourselves.

Blogs with Balls happened. I dig the concept, and imagine that we will one day sell enough t-shirts make enough money on our own to afford attendance to such a function. And if we can't, screw it. Apparently, the dude that runs Hugging Harold Reynolds met Harold Reynolds at the event, who referred to the blogger as "the hugging guy."

Drew Magary, co-founder of Kissing Suzy Kolber, Editor-At-Large for Deadspin, and occasional Penthouse feature writer, puts together some good words with admirable frequency. In case you missed it, his debut column in Penthouse was in March, the follow-up in April, and now, the June edition. Three things should be noted: 1) the Penthouse links are SFW; 2) I've never been able to find the May column; and 3) the latest feature, while instilling a few chuckles was, a tad disappointing, which perhaps answers number two.

Last but not least, if you're a fan of Joe Posnanski, visit his blog, and while you're there, pre-order his new book, which may or may not make a great Father's Day gift.

I reckon that's enough Aspen tasting. I've gotta go wash off my tongue.
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Wednesday Whatnot: Two Prominent HoG Figures Still at Large in Cities of Wind, Angels

Yes. There are two of them. And yes, we are international bloggers of mystery. It's true. We've even posted from overseas before. We're gonna make you work for the goodies, though. Check beneath the fake grass of the jump your Easter basket for the scoop.

Oh, good. Glad you decided to join us. The first is none other than Chicago Bears quarterback Jay Cutler, who, as you can see,



is fitting in just fine in his new town.

The second? Well, authorities are prohibiting us from putting his likeness up on the 'Tubes, but he's certainly no stranger to these parts. Sure. The cops call him "suspect A." We know him better as Humberto.

So, you're headed to the the viney-walled Wrigley for some Cubby Ball? Got a trip to the Friendly Confines in your planner? Take note. Use the buddy system. Watch your back. These men are out there, and they will, in fact, hurt you.
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Friday Morning Fracas: Inbox Tubes Dump

You. Person with free time. This post was created for you. After the jump, get after some clips, gangsta' style. (Editor's Note: I have no idea what that means.)

This one's about a Canadian mayor who's been in office for 31 years. She's 88 and still chugging along. The host is a bit of a dweezil,



but around the 2:15 mark, Mayor Hazel takes the ice, demonstrating the puck-handling abilities of Old No. 7, the skating prowess of Cecil.

Speaking of hockey, check out this shootout goal:



File that under "whoops-a-daisy." And speaking of shootout goals, check out this showoff:



I gotta believe that goalie was embarrassed.

We've seldom, if ever mentioned the United Fucking States of America's armed forces here in the House, but here ya' go:



Thanks, troops. And now for some hard-core wood analysis:



And, I have no idea what this South Park episode is really about, but...



...it has to do with fish sticks sounding like "fish dicks," Kanye West, and West allegedly saying that if you put fish sticks in your mouth you must be a gay fish. I guess dude has a blog, too.

Also in the realm of video, here's the intro to Aisha Tyler's -- who's pretty smokin' -- latest gig, which is impressive:



And last, but certainly not least, the new one by Eminem:


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Thursday ThumbTubes & YouNails: 2-12-09

The weather around Kansas City couldn't be any stranger. Come to think of it, nor could this cavern of odd we're lurking in with regard to the sports world. Admit it, it's just plain weird. Or don't, and click ahead for some ThumbTubeage, and YouNailin'.

Hey, look:



The NBA's All-Star Weekend is a mere hours away. Yee. Haw.

The Sporting News has compiled an interesting list of awkward sports interviews. In the mix are some Charlie Hustle,



some Iron Mike,



and some Rocket Sauce:



They also have a pretty flippin' fantastic interview with Will Farrell.



In it are sports, humor, and HBO. What more, besides boobs, could you ask for?

Fawvh gee-uh.



Get ya' dis-counted Fawvh gee-uh, hee-uh.

In notes of the random, bizarre, and randomly bizarre, check out Joaquin Phoenix on David Letterman:



SFT Sports wants to know which you value more:





Women or sports?

In news of beisbolistas, MLB Commissioner might try



and suspend Alex Rodriguez. I mean, if we're going to cover the man, it's going to be in this venue. Oh, and while we're on the subject of massive knobs,



apparently the Man-Ram has published a libro. Suh-weet.

On a lighter note, how about some Sesame Street?



You know.



For no reason whatsoever. Word. 'Em. Up.
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Monday Miscellany: 1-19-09

If this post were a Shakespeare piece, I'd title it Much Ado About Nothing. Got some random thoughts to share this fine afternoon, and we might as well touch on some NFL action, and get it over with. On the one hand, I'm stoked for the Buzzsaw. It's great. It really is. Is it depressing that the Arizona Cardinals made the Super Bowl in my lifetime before the Chiefs? It burns, burns, burns, that ring of fire. Great for Ken Whisenhunt. Great for that defense, even if it is run by a game named Clancy. Great for Edgerrin James. Great for Anquarry Boldgerald, the entire franchise, and of course the fans. The Super Bowl is always the true test, and this will certainly not be an exception as Old No. 7's coveted Steeler fan base will likely eat up those Tampa tickets like a fat man at a Country Kitchen. So Arizona's got that workin' against 'em, which isn't nice.

In the loser's bracket side of things, I'll say this about the AFC: Tough shit, Ravens. You are the most historically overrated franchise in ages. Ages. For the NFC, nice choke job, Philly. Didn't see that comin' a mile away. On that note, I get that the Mike Holmgren tree of coaching wonders was a great thing, but I'll never understand how Marty Mornhinweg continues to collect a paycheck in the National Football League. Hey, M&M -- you have a great running back. How about running him in plays not called screen passes? Also, your franchise quarterback is only 32, and still pretty mobile. Take advantage of his legs. You know, like that first play from scrimmage where he ran for 20 yards. To all the Eagles fans that want to bitch about the non-called pass interference play: Don't forget about the four late-in-the-fourth-quarter times McNabb had drive-continuing opportunities with open receivers and threw errantly. A wise man/non-winning coach once said, "You play to win the game," not to have officials determine it for you.

Enough with the consistent thoughts, though. This is about miscellany. I don't know what this means



but somehow it fits.

My wife just took this kid of whom she's the life coach to a Martin Luther King, Jr. function. Afterwards they went to Burger King and invited me. I've questioned their marketing brainstorms before, and I'll just mention that, during the seven minutes we were inside the BK, we talked mostly about, uh, BK.

Okay, wait. Timeout. This is the second image that comes up



when you Google image search the words "Burger King commercial."

Okay. Now it makes sense. Anyway. I was eating my fries -- I went for the Whopper Jr. meal (hold the mayo, sub bacon and cheese), by the way, since I knew you were dying of curiosity -- and the wax/paper/cardboard container they were in was called "Frypod." In case none of this is news, I haven't been to a Burger King in some time. On the back of the Frypod, there was a text snippet that started off a little something like this: Regarding ketchup, "does the ketchup make the fries or do the fries make the ketchup? Ponder that, Captain Deepthoughts."

It made me wonder if some sort of snarky blogger was in charge of this campaign. Then I went to dump my tray and saw this:



and this:



Then on my way out, I noticed that, in lieu of the traditional "enter" and "exit" door signs, the displays were "c'mon in" and "buh-bye." Very odd. I didn't dislike any of it. In fact, I appreciated the different, for lack of a better word, angle that they'd taken. It was all still very weird, though. But enough about fast food.

It's nearly been two years since Sarah Spain busted (Editor's Note: Pun fully intended) onto the scene. I have no idea where her career was at that point, but one could argue that it has been nothing shy of spectacular since. Via the FaceBookery, she's letting everyone know that she's thoroughly enjoying her winter vacation in Cancun.



That or the Cancun is thoroughly enjoying her. Could be both.

The Pittsburgh Penguins played the New York Rangers yesterday. Penguins netminder Marc-Andre Fleury had quite the performance, enough to show a little homerism:



(courtesy of With Leather)

Went and saw "Slumdog Millionaire" this weekend. Totally awesome. Definitely recommend it. Before the film, one of the previews was for "The Wrestler." This might be the shortest review of it ever written.

In case you were unaware, Deadspin is your official Arizona Cardinals bandwagon site.



Go ahead. Read all about it. Or don't. Makes no difference to me.
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Weekday Whippoorwill

It's hump day, and that means it's time for a gander around the 'sphere. What, you ask does a whippoorwill have to do with scopage? Well, for one: Cecil likes birds. Two: Nothing better than something named for the sound it makes, and three: This bird notoriously examines its surroundings in the dark, which is when all the good sh**'s goin' on. One could argue that the doldrums are upon us, what with the NHL and the NBA seasons now officially closed. That's always a bright side to HoGnation, though. A bit of time to focus on baseball, especially with the All-Star game/mid-season point around the corner. Then training camp will be upon us, our jowels ever-filled with the news of places like Dove Valley and River Falls, Wisconsin. Plus it's about to get real effin' hot, which I always view as another good reason to drink heavily. What's better than a hairy, pasty-white, beer-gutted sweaty man? A hammered one, of course. Crack those yard beers, kids. It's beer-thirty.

The Big Lead reminds us that there is good money to be made in sports journalism. Yeah. One day those guys and gals will be rich. Like us.

Puck Daddy over yonder in the Yahoos has alerted me to my next golf gear purchase. I pity the fool that winds up on the green with me. That is the wasted me who'll never get tired of this bona fide opportunity to holler "He shoots, he scores!"

Michael Jordan likes Wheaties, underwear and Looney Toons, right? And Kobe Bryant enjoys diamond ring purchases, ritzy Colorado hotels, and sodomy. Tomato, toe-mah-toe, eh? Joe Posnanski further examines their similarities, differences.

Kissing Suzy Kolber reminds us that Javon Walker still trusts the Denver Broncos.

Speaking of the Broncos, the boys at Bronco Talk remind us that the Denver football club is feeling pretty confident, while Chris at Arrowhead Pride suggests that the world of sports journalism thinks otherwise of the Chiefs, regardless of their efforts to match the new scoreboard digs at the K.

Finally, the Lone Reader let me know that there was some soccer going on. I wouldn't typically care, but apparently ESPN is airing the games in lieu of "Rome is Burning" this week, which I find funny since Rome apparently belittles soccer all the time. I don't listen to Rome, or watch Rome, but I guess that's some kharma for him. Way to go, ESPN. Temporarily take one bad show off the air to replace it with another. Stellar business endeavor.
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