Thursday ThumbTubes: ManCrush Elevated

Of course all of the taglines will call J.R. a crybaby, the moment awkward, but this was awesome. Got the waterworks fired up in my living room. #notashamedtoadmitthat

(clip courtesy of the StubTubes)
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Thursday ThumbTubes & YouNails: Just Four 'Tubes, People. Just Four 'Tubes

Below the jump you'll find us straying from the norm. There are no YouNails with attached links, but four Tubes of the Stub variety. Two of them don't really matter. Two of them don't really matter, either. You might enjoy one or more, though, so get watching.

If you like U2, and you liked the "Money for Nothing," the "Sledgehammer," and the "Land of Confusion" videos, maybe you'll like this, maybe you won't.

Shatner on Palin on Conan:



Uh, yeah...

Saw this one recently. It rules.



This one's been making the rounds a bit lately, but damn. For anyone that's ever been a part of any wedding, you gotta love it:


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Thursday ThumbTubes & YouNails (now with less sports!): 7-23-09

Awful tired now, boss. Dog tired. If you're still up, peep some stubes and tumbs, yonder.

You know it's a rough season when, um...



...this happens.

The feel-good, non-sports, don't-know-what-it's-about-but-I-like-it Tube:

If you secretly love Don Mattingly, and I know you do,



then you may or may not find this interesting. Actually, don't bother. It's stupid petty gossip, but dare I pass up on an opportunity to mess with Yankee fans? Course not.

Manny Pacquiao will get back in the ring,



and this time, it counts.

Everyone knows about "Sleeping Monkey,"

but how about swimming monkey?

Um,



go here.

If I tell you it's Lima Time,



you better be-leeee dat!

But don't believe...

<a href="http://www.atom.com" target="_blank">Twits</a>

Twits

...those crazy kids and their Tweets.

Know what else is crazy?



Two perfect games by the same dude.

Speaking of crazy...



No. Not the fact that these allegations have come out, but the fact that some listeners on the Sports TalkRadios today wanted to say that ESPN didn't post this story to their Web site yesterday because Big Ben is white. That is, if he were black, they would've posted it immediately. You know, 'cause that's how the man do.

While we're on the ESPN corner,



that was easily the dumbest commercial they've ever made.

We know that Dick Vermeil and Mike Shanahan were at the American Century Celebrity Golf Championship. We just learned, however, that Michael Jordan was there...



...with, um, something awkward in the background.

Tank's empty, kids. Come back next week. Bring more quarters.
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Thursday ThumbTubes & YouNails: 7-15-09

We haven't exactly treated the ol' TT&YN with the utmost of frequency or consistency, but that clearly doesn't mean that y'all don't love it. Right? I mean, our inbox is literally flooded, every single day, with questions, demands, and ransom notes practically begging us to make it a daily feature. While we can't do that, we can in fact, make some effort to bring it to you on a bi-monthly basis. That's how thoughtful and willing to negotiate we are. You, the reader, want 25 installments of this feature; we're promising two. No need to thank us. That's just the kinda guys we are. More then, of that which you love, after the jump.

Our first clip today means absolutely nothing to sports, but it's interesting in that the artist, Banksy,



has launched, and admittedly so, his latest endeavors upon the YouTubes, all in the name of inspiration provided to him by yours truly. Hence the similarity in names. "Hat Tip," as the kids are saying these days, to Old No. 7 for pointing out the guy's existence months ago, and to me for not caring enough to do anything about it.

So that was kinda cheesy, but not quite as cheesy as this:

Too cheesy? How about some mustard. And Olivia Munn,

who's making House appearances on consecutive days.

God I love America. And hey, so does this guy:

Since we're being patriotic a solid two weeks after July 4th,

The Peanuts are always good for the ol' nostalgia factor.

So is Eminem. Right?

Okay. Not so much, but baseball. Baseball makes us remember our youth.



Love the Carew bit.


Here's a top-ten list of the alleged best entertainers in sports.



The guy that winds up at the one slot wants to know how his Aspen taste.

Here's a list of the top ten comedians (by income) in the country.



Neither Larry the Cable guy nor Dane Cook are number one, but they're in there, and they sure are funny.

After the Manny Pacquiao/Ricky Hatton fight, I thought I remembered hearing that Pacquiao/Mayweather would be right around the corner.



Apparently, it's not.

Apparently, Terrell Owens has a new squeeze,



perhaps nullifying Old No. 7's theory



that he is, um, gay.



Finally, Gary Bettman got a raise, which I'm sure will make the anti-Bettmans thrilled. Interesting piece. I really appreciated it until I found out how much jack Bud Selig makes. Then I threw up a little bit.



To put it in perspective, you could take Roger Goodell's salary and lump it with Bettman's, or you could lump Bettman's with David Stern, and it would still not be as much as Bud Selig makes in a year.

That, my friends, is outright depressing.

And that, my friends, will do it for this week.
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Thursday ThumbTubes & You Nails: Back from the Dizzead

You'll have to just take my word for it when I say that I started working on this post this morning, many, many minutes before famous people started crumbling like the Berlin Wall. The purpose of the title was to imply that it's been a while since we pulled together a TT&YN, but that's kind of par for the course around here. Pick up a habit. Abuse the shit out of it. Go to rehab for a minute. Get out. Resume habit.

So this particular installment of this particular feature isn't going to get read win us any awards, but you know, it's nice to get the ol' feet wet again. Get post-jump. Enjoy.

Ah. Michael Irvin.



Has one man ever produced more headlines?

Triumph the Insult Comedy Dog at Bonnaroo.



(clip courtesy of Daily Motion)

Hey, look:



The NBA draft is tonight. Chill your sodas and pop your corn.

Uh, Wimbledon's going on. And if you're a girl that chases balls,



then look out.

(clip courtesy of Awful Announcing)

As mentioned,



Farrah Fawcett died today, which was totally bizarre considering that she and Ryan O'Neal just "announced" that they would finally wed like two days ago. At least that's when I read the story, anyway.

The picture ain't perfect,



but this was too cute to pass up.

(clip courtesy of Video Gum)

I'm in the grocery store last night. True story. I hear this older fella drop an F-bomb as he comes around the corner. I give him a look. He says, and I quote, "Sorry. That guy had an Obama shirt on and I had to ask him 'Are you really any better off than you were seven months ago?'" Fucking tool. Leave it to a Republican to a) jump down someone's throat at the market just because he feels like pouting, b) expect actual change in seven months time, and c) be a massive tool in general.



Leave it to a liberal to post that instance to his blog from his basement.
I don't know how old these are, but they're freaking hysterical:



Brief interruption to bring you this image:



Now back to real-life video game stuff.



Little tribute action:



Finally, I just have to say



No, no. Not really. Okay. Actually, really. But at least I like you enough to share this with you. Set aside some time. Go there. Entrance.
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Thursday ThumbTubes & YouNails (now with a lazier production team): 4-16-09

Ever find yourself zapped of energy with weeks zipping past faster than you can keep track of? What? Most every day? Well, then. Some ThumbTubes & YouNails oughtta set you straight. Or just make you sleepier.

Several reports from earlier in the week suggested that Milton Bradley was a new man.



He begs to differ. I wonder what his mother thinks. Speaking of mothers:



That ruled.

Last night's game one between the St. Louis Blues and the Vancouver Canucks was one of the rough-and-tumblest, fastest-skating hockey contests I'd seen in many years. It got me even more pumped for the playoffs than I already was,



and then this hit the 'Tubes, leaving me thoroughly unsure if I'm highly aroused, or completely disgusted.

Um, this is nearly five minutes of sheer awesome:



Praise you black-and-silver Jesus for not making me an Oakland fan. And ol' boy there best be thankin' Christ I don't have his e-mail address.

Along the lines of reverence, thank fucking God the new Big Daddy Drew Penthouse column is out.



I feel like it's been three months since the last one was posted. Don't make me, impatient, Penthouse. You wouldn't like me when I'm impatient. And yes, it's SFW.

This video is half awesome, half terrible:



The awesome, I think, is obvious. The terrible is that, had it gone another seven seconds, you would've seen some girls skipping rope, some girls lounging poolside, and some girls baby-oil wrestling, all saying that the House of Georges was their favorite YardBarker Network blog. No kiddin'. Stupid editors.

Continuing the theme of stupid...



You stay classy, Milwaukee.

Then there's this:



All I can say is "tulips on the mound"? Yeesh.

And that's gonna do it. Ran a little shy on 'Nails. Tried to make up for it with extra 'Tubes. Peace out.
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Thursday ThumbTubes & YouNails: 4-9-09

Who's got time for classy intros? I dunno. The cinema? The symphony? Sitcoms? Not me. Not today. Get crack-a-lackin', y'all.

Apparently, the Masters is going on. I think this guy has the lead after day one.



How's that for some coverage?

Adrian Peterson was invited to say the traditional "Let's Play Hockey" at the Minnesota Wild game.



He real good.

(video courtesy of Deadspin)

This has something to do with basketball.



She might've been married to Jason Kidd, or something.

This should be flippin' stellar.

Might have a dash of rape, and a sprinkle of lobe-chewing, but still: awesome.

(video courtesy of The Big Lead)

I guess Tyler Hansbrough's mom is a MILF?



I don't even know what that means.

Can't get those coals goin' for the tailgate?



It's cool. Just keep a Ron Mexico jersey handy. Works every time.

(video courtesy of Tailgating Ideas)

The gals at Babes Love Baseball have a respectable story on Nick Adenhart.



which is -- how do I say this -- the total opposite of the one at With Leather.

I think Cecil took over my brain for a minute,



forcing me, literally, to post that.

(video courtesy of Today's Big Thing)

Will the next Winter Classic be at Fenway?



Who knows. Apparently it's a secret.

Know what's not, though? Watch the whole thing:



Goose bumps, yo. Goose bumps.

(courtesy of Brahsome)
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Thursday ThumbTubes & YouNails: 3-19-09

The third Thursday in March used to mean something to me. I remember getting excited for the NCAA tournament and doing brackets some 20 years ago, and at the time, it was pretty novel because only myself and like three other friends would do one. It seemed as if we couldn't recruit people to participate. Well, like everything else sports/media related, the science of bracketology has just plain gotten out of hand. It's been a number of years now that we've had to adapt to the fact that women are participating in brackets, and allow me to remind you to back up a solid 5000 yards if they win one. Those victories are equated to the second coming of the Messiah. But Christ, I caught a significant portion of Rome today, and it seems like that was all he talked about: bracket updates (with obnoxious air-raid siren), and e-mails from bracketers, and tips on how to get away with watching the games at work. He skipped out on several stories he "wanted to get to," like, oh, I dunno, Jay Cutler. Sure. I'm still into the Madness, but come on.

Now this is the moment where I invite you past the jump to look at some stuff. And yes, some of said some stuff has to do with brackets. Sigh.

The House of Georges affinity for Team America has



taken a shot to the ball of yard. And with that open wound comes a hefty dose of salt.



"The desperation defensive deployment backfired Wednesday night in the World Baseball Classic when Dunn made a wild throw that led to four unearned runs, and Venezuela won Group 2 by beating the Americans 10-6 to conclude second-round play in Miami...Both teams had already qualified for the semifinals this weekend in Los Angeles. Injury-plagued Team USA is expected to make several roster moves before then."

At least the club can take solace in the fact that they have qualified for the next round, and, well, there's this:



which makes us feel good knowing that there aren't any gays on the roster.

In news of the slightly less comforting, it's HoG noteworthy that there is Royalty in Kansas City.



Let's hope his latest stop can contain appropriate behavior and good production.

Speaking of good, our old pals over at Bugs & Cranks have an interesting series going. They've also graced us with this:



And quickly abandoning such an impressive theme, onto the White House and brackets, courtesy of Awful Announcing:



And since we're in the neighborhood, you've got to see this if you haven't already:



Jumping from the hardwood to the ice, Hugging Harold Reynolds takes us to Total Pro Sports, who put together this piece



on the newest all-time winningest goaltender in the NHL: Marty Brodeur.

And we'd be off-kilter if we didn't touch more on Jay Cutler. To keep the kilter balanced, however, we've got to include a Chief story, even if it's about a former Chief becoming a Chief again.

That's gonna wrap 'er up for the Tubes and Nails today. Same time, same place next week. We'll be the ones typing.
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We Carry Hot Tubes Of Wednursdays

Not that anything can be considered "normal" around here, but we do have what approximates a routine ebb and flow every week in the House. Banky posts lots of regularly scheduled and thoughtfully crafted features, and Cecil and I eat sandwiches. The most popular of Bank's periodic posts is undoubtedly We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday, followed closely by StubTubes and YouNails.

As I am wont to do, I've stolen both of these ideas and perverted them for my own purposes. After the jump, have fun with this little clip. Apparently this is how they sell cars in Orange County...



For some reason, I feel the urge to go test-drive a used Scion.
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Thursday ThumbTubes & YouNails: 2-12-09

The weather around Kansas City couldn't be any stranger. Come to think of it, nor could this cavern of odd we're lurking in with regard to the sports world. Admit it, it's just plain weird. Or don't, and click ahead for some ThumbTubeage, and YouNailin'.

Hey, look:



The NBA's All-Star Weekend is a mere hours away. Yee. Haw.

The Sporting News has compiled an interesting list of awkward sports interviews. In the mix are some Charlie Hustle,



some Iron Mike,



and some Rocket Sauce:



They also have a pretty flippin' fantastic interview with Will Farrell.



In it are sports, humor, and HBO. What more, besides boobs, could you ask for?

Fawvh gee-uh.



Get ya' dis-counted Fawvh gee-uh, hee-uh.

In notes of the random, bizarre, and randomly bizarre, check out Joaquin Phoenix on David Letterman:



SFT Sports wants to know which you value more:





Women or sports?

In news of beisbolistas, MLB Commissioner might try



and suspend Alex Rodriguez. I mean, if we're going to cover the man, it's going to be in this venue. Oh, and while we're on the subject of massive knobs,



apparently the Man-Ram has published a libro. Suh-weet.

On a lighter note, how about some Sesame Street?



You know.



For no reason whatsoever. Word. 'Em. Up.
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Thursday ThumbTubes & YouNails: 1-29-09

We'll cut to the chase here, as my guts still aren't doing so hot. 'Tubes and 'Nails for all you attractive young bucks and lasses, after the jump.


This bit of Tubeage is pretty gay, except for the fact that it has hot, body-painted football fans in it.



(courtesy of With Leather via Busted Coverage)

A lot of horrendous nonsense regarding Joe Torre's new book has been circling the Nets, and to date I've restrained from commenting on it. But,



throw in a story about Roger Clemens having another grown man rub ointment on his genitalia, and all bets are off.

Stumped over what tender vittles to serve at your Super Bowl party? PETA suggests veggies.



(clip courtesy of Awful Announcing)

Seven days ago, the Kansas City Chiefs parted ways with Head Coach Herman Edwards.



The four-letter network has already scooped him up from the ranks of the unemployed.

In case you were unaware of how to throw a Super Bowl party,



Big Daddy Drew, in what is likely his last Jamboroo of the year, stopped in at Deadspin to break it down for one and all.

Since we've practically made a theme of including Kurt and Brenda Warner material here on the TT&YNs, we may as well continue.



Feel free to tell me in the comments what in the hell this story was about, 'cause I still don't get it.

We're under three weeks 'til catchers and pitchers report to spring training. As you can see, Cardinals fans are stoked to share their opinions:



(image courtesy of The Big Lead)

Finally, I don't get too caught up in the "D.T. to Canton" talks that surface every year for the last five, and this year won't be any different. There are, of course, many pushes around the area that try to paint the picture for why he should be in. This footage is one:



My favorite moments in the clip include things happening roughly around the 2:35, 4:20, 4:50, 6:05, 6:11, 6:44, and 7:44 marks.

(clip courtesy of Arrowhead Pride, via Warpaint Illustrated)

For a less time-consuming look, peer at the NFL's page.
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