Baseball In The Daytime: 5-29-08

You know you're old when the wife leaves town for a week and all you can think about is getting to watch more sports. God I am lame. I have watched more NBA this week than all year combined, and last night I actually tuned in to the Stanley Cup Finals. It was at halftime or something. I did not return.

But mostly I watch the baseball. And on a day like today, with the Red Sox off, I poke around the bigs looking for decent pitching matchups to dial up. No luck--in fact, today's mound battles may be the worst I've ever seen. Not just for Baseball In The Daytime either--tonight's slate is equally repulsive. The best head to head may be Barry Zito versus The Unit. What time's the hockey match?

Atlanta @ Milwaukee, 11:05 Mountain This game pits two of the three cities that have hosted the Braves, and both franchises that employed Hank Aaron. What's not at stake are any Cy Young awards, as Jorge Campillo and Seth McClung shuffle toward the hill. Both these schlubs are career relievers pressed into starting service by widespread injuries in their respective rotations. I hope the outfield fences at Miller Park are built up to code, they're in for a workout this afternoon.

Toronto @ Oakland, 1:35 We'll call this one Name Your Frank Thomas. The Big Hurt has played for both clubs this year. The Canadian version: .167 batting, .333 slugging. Californiafied: .319, .516. But both places allow gay marriage. Rustle up a man-date and get your sassy asses down to the Al Davis Memorial Creepatorium, where Jesse Litsch and Dana Eveland start.

Washington @ San Diego, 1:35 Those of you that play the fantasy baseball in daily leagues may be familiar with the concept of "streaming" starting pitchers. That is, you pick up a free agent SP every day and then drop him after his start, thus building up your innings and strikeouts. The risk? Free agent pitchers typically stink. I'm paddling the "stream" this week in my battle against the hideous Old Man, and today's lucky selection is Washington National John Lannan. He replaces yesterday's arm du jour, Jake Westbrook. I know, this is all massively fascinating, but thank your lucky stars I didn't go with Lannan's opponent Wilfredo Ledezma. Because that paragraph would have been really boring. Play Ball!