Stay Classy, Kansas City: Larry Johnson

After a brief hiatus, we're back with another installment of "Stay Classy, Kansas City." Today, we re-visit the gridiron and examine a 2003 first-round draft choice out of Penn State, a guy that's in tight with Jay-Z, and frankly doesn't give a flip what anybody has to say. Well, anybody except his his dad of course. This guy has been in the headlines more than any KC sports figure in the last five years. Five years? Really? Sometimes for game-day performances, and sometimes not. Though mysterious and intriguing, the one guarantee from the Chiefs running back is that there will never be any shortage of Inverted-Vagina-Symbol flashings. More on this, and more, after the jump.

The locker-room/organization vibe regarding LJ got off to a terrible start. The Chiefs had Priest Holmes listed as number one on the depth chart, and rightfully so, in that in two short years, he was on his way to shattering many a Chiefs rushing record. Number 31, however, was coming off a frightening, mysterious injury, one in which few believed he could re-claim his old form. Chiefs GM Carl Peterson was nervous, and wanted insurance. Then Head Coach Dick Vermeil wanted receivers and defense, but probably just receivers. Hell, he had Greg Robinson manning the D. What else do you need?

Little time was wasted in LJ acquiring this information, and he was less happy that he was by being drafted by a team not called the Steelers, one that didn't need a first-rounder to start. Thus there was a rift between Johnson and Vermeil. Holmes' recovery and production that year was, uh, pretty good. As in Pro Bowl, record-breaking rushing-touchdown good. Ultimately, LJ saw little-to-no action that year, netting 20 carries for 85 yards and a score.

And then he may or may not have hit a girl and threatened her with a gun. Luckily for LJ and the Chiefs, though, the magic drop-charges-against-pro-athletes phenomenon swirled overhead, and the ordeal was swept under the rug.

Fast forward a spell and the infamous Dick Vermeil diaper quote occurred, and LJ unsuccessfully (but with impeccable grammar) masked his frustrations, so Dick Vermeil apologized, and that episode was put to bed. But not really.

Fast forward again. Holmes goes down again. This time, however, second-stringer Derrick Blaylock is not the second-stringer. Johnson is. And he hit the field "running angry," as they've said in an effort to tag his style of rushing. Just when everything, a couple of seasons later than Johnson wanted, seemed to be going well, the Nittany Lion alum may or may not have assaulted another girl.

Never to fear. In came the charge-dropping swarms again, and all was right with #27. Then he had to take a secret stab at Chiefs fans by saying that they're a conservative, wine-and-cheese kind of bunch. Now, I didn't poll any other Chiefs fans, but my personal thoughts went something like, This dude has clearly never seen one speck of the Arrowhead tailgating or seating populous.

Since then, LJ has had some great success on the field, 2007 as a whole aside. Last year, the season of his still-unanswered foot injury, came after the Chiefs and Johnson flopped miserably in a playoff performance against the Colts, and the running back called out the coaching staff and their conservative/predictable game-day approaches. It was not the first time, and likely won't be the last.

Johnson, in this off-season, has perhaps unintentionally assumed the role of the once-oft-absent, mysterious Holmes, and stayed out of the media. I posit that that coincides with Johnson's injury/lack of production last season. And I'm certain that, in the future, LJ will offer more tips on just how easy it is, to stay classy.