Monday, May 19, 2008

Stay Classy, Kansas City: Alberto Callaspo

It's back to the ball diamond with today's installment of "Stay Classy, Kansas City." For the refresh: We're dissecting class-act athletes, past or present, that have played for Kansas City -- future vote to be held -- sports teams. For the record: The Michael Strahan sack record was one of the gayest things I have ever witnessed in my entire life. And for the really interested: I challenge each and every reader (that doesn't write for this blog) to stack the comments with I-didn't-know-Kansas City-had taglines. The only difference, though, is that it's time to be creative. If one guy finishes the sentence with "professional sports teams," then it's off the board. Back to Guy Classy, though, just after the jump.

Old No. 7 informed me, a number of weeks ago, that Kansas City Royals infielder Alberto Callaspo had an interesting history. I was a little surprised, in that I thought he had an interesting future. Regarding what is to come, I haven't really seen enough of his glove-related skills, but I sincerely doubt that he can be a better fielder than Tony Pena, Jr. And now that TPJ has glasses (Editor's Note in Guinness-Commercial Voice: Brilliant!), he can do more with the bat than bunt. But whatever.

In his short-thus-far career in the majors, Callaspo has notched 58 hits, no homers and 16 RsBI. Nothing spectacular, but he's got a twinge of promise, I suppose. Either that or there is some correlation to the Arizona Diamondbacks unloading him and getting really good. Where there is no correlation is in how two people wed, procreate, then wind up in a predicament like the one detailed in this report. I mean, I'm sure there's some correlation somewhere, but sheesh.

According to the report, Paola told Phoenix police that Callaspo hit and kicked her during the altercation Thursday. But more chilling were the details she told police regarding incidents that occurred within the past four weeks.

Paola said that after an argument May 2, she struggled with a knife-wielding Callaspo, coming away with a half-inch cut on the right side of her face.

She also said that while at a hotel in San Francisco, where the Diamondbacks played the Giants from April 20-22, Callaspo struck her about three times on the side of her head with a fist. Their 17-month-old son, Igor, was sleeping, but Paola said he woke up when she began to scream. Paola told police that Callaspo "picked Igor up and threw him back onto the bed, causing Igor to strike his head on the headboard."

What I'd like to do is make jokes about Jerry Springer-sounding guests that name their kid Igor, but I just don't have the heart. Since the Callaspo-for-Billy Buckner trade, I've not come across any reporting on the Venezuelan's domestic tendencies, but I'd like to think that if Paola made the move to Kansas City, there's a little less brawling and fewer knives involved in their home life.


Cecil said...

Maybe he could buy Jared Allen's restaurant. Heyyyyyyyy....o.

old no. 7 said...

Rae Carruth thinks Alberto Callaspo is an amateur. That's all I got. I couldn't find another baby-throwing, wife-face-stabbing athlete with which to contrast. Callaspo is in a class by hisself.

Lester no-hitter!