We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday: Here's to the Lone Reader

Almost exactly a year ago, two-thirds of the Iron Triangle matriculated out to the City of Kansas to attend my wedding. While they traveled from the various locales of the Centennial State, a little guy we've come to know as the Lone Reader hiked south from Canadia. With him came his lovely fiancee, and tomorrow the wife and I will be loading our backpacks, and leaving on a jet plane to attend theirs. Now I've known this LR character for roughly 22 years, and he's carried many a bag along his path in life. He's also brought many a lovely lady back to the TLR love shack with him. While most escaped unscathed, none passed the life-partner litmus. None until now, anyway. After the jump, we'll have a look at a few of the specimens that never sought refuge beneath TLR's covers.

Daisy Marie



The Lone Reader has been known to have an affinity for brunettes. His future wife is one.



He has, however, never been a fan of zebra-striped sheets. Sorry, Daisy.

Irina Sheik



As kids, and rabid WWF fans, TLR and I grappled on many occasion.



He'd be Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka, and I'd be Don "The Rock" Muracco.



Only on rare occasions would we opt for the Iron Sheik, spelling doom for one another with the threat of the Camel Clutch. If I had it to do over, I'd leave TLR out and mount this sheik's camel. Ooo. Yeah. I went there.

Veronica Verakova



Though TLR lives very near a beach,



that's attached to water of course,



I doubt there will be any shoreside bonding sessions with Veronica. Or anybody besides the Misses.

Victoria Valmer



Like many men, TLR has always struggled with whether he's an "ass" man,



or a "boob" man. My vote is that he's a boob and an ass before he's a man. Zing.

Christine



Many a blonde has crossed paths with TLR.



And many a one-named woman as well. Lucky for him, his days of paying for talent like that are over.



At least one would presume they are. After tomorrow night, maybe.

Francine Dee



If the man about to be wed has made it thus far without some Asian variety, I'd be surprised. But I'd check his bedpost first.

Ashlynn Brooke



In a recent interview with yours truly, Miss Brooke said she had a couple of gifts for TLR. I told her to send them my way; I'd be sure to pass them along.

Erica Campbell



Erica Campbell will actually be helping with the festivities. She's in charge of hair,



jewelry,



wardrobe, and,



uh, decor or something.

Megan Jones



Megan Jones wanted to sing "Happy Birthday, Mr. President" on the big day.



I didn't have the heart to tell her how far off she was.

Laetitia Casta



Miss Casta had a few honeymoon suggestions for the groom-to-be.



When I told her that she'd have to run it by the wife-to-be,



she wasn't very pleased.



In fact, she went to sulk in a corner. It's not too late to bail out, dude!

Kathy Lee



The Lone Reader wasn't very pleased when I told him that Kathy Lee might make the journey.



Well, until I said, "not that one, dude."

Zdenka Podkapova



In other news of the displeased, Zdenka voiced her frustrations with missing an opportunity to "get to know the guy."



When I told her that his fantasy was an evening in the sack with Roger Goodell and LeBron James, however, she couldn't have run away any faster.

(There's the weekly fix, y'all. It was all made possible by Gorilla Mask and Daily Niner, as usual.)