Showing posts with label Drinking At Work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Drinking At Work. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday: I Go to Work

Eight years ago, we started The Tradition I went to work for this company, and shortly thereafter, the location I was at broke ties with that company, and became its own. Nine months ago, I left that company to pursue another opportunity with the company to which my previous company used to belong. Then, about three months ago, I went and worked (on my own time) for my previous company, and my then-current company didn't like it, so they fired me. Now, these companies still communicate, so new/original company called separate-entity company to request that they not employ me again, which is totally illegal, but lawyers are expensive, and I'd be breaking my word if I went that route. Separate-entity company, however, doesn't really care for new/original company, so they called me and offered me a job. Now, the spite was only a fraction of it; they actually desired my cervixes. Thus, my first-and-hopefully final stint riding the unemployed pine has come to a close. I know. Totally boring, right? Don't worry. There's mammalian protruberances involved. I just had to type some crap long enough to get me below the picture of Kool Moe Dee. Looks like I've succeeded.

KMD was an interesting rapper. He was hip yet nerdy, fly but straight-edge, and full of beats, but occasionally boring. Ultimately, he earned lots of street cred for working hard, thus the name of one of his biggest hits. If you've made it this far, there's no turning back. What follows is a long list of hard-working folks, all of whom are card-carrying members to that exclusive club known as the human race.

Amy



When it comes to hard work, there's seldom a better example out there than the lovely Amy. Believe you me, when I tell you that she's got it covered.



Be it the front, or the back end of the task, rest assured the job will be done.



She puts forth a stern countenance, and a rigid gut into her every task,



allowing her to view the angles, both near and far, of the work at hand.



In the end, she always raises her hand with confidence and a smile,



certain that no points have been left exposed.



With Amy aboard, one can lay down and relax; all systems are go.

Candy Christensen



Miss Christensen boasts a similar work ethic; every corner of every fabric will be lifted when she's appointed.



Her efforts are always sincere, very hands-on,



and her final product is always something to show your superiors.

Elsa Benitez



A worker like Elsa is always someone you can lean on.



Vacationing? Never to worry if she's in the thick of it.



Know that you can sit and relax with her commanding the controls.

Kori Koether



Kori provides a different type of morale to the work force.



Her methods are direct, yet always effective, a win-win for the boss world.

Lichelle Marie



Training Miss Marie is a totally different animal.



She won't say much, and perhaps you the trainer may wind up asking more questions than she does.



It's almost expected with her, and she'll produce just as effectively, nonetheless.

Marissa Miller



Marissa's work is well-known, and dynamic. She logs the long hours,



but manages to look comfortable doing so, a great example for other employees.

Sara Tommasi



Sara's efforts are so commendable that you're constantly thanking her for getting down and dirty.



Inside or out, her immeasurable efforts stay true.

Teah



And the lovely Teah will make employers forget their concerns, her charm winning over nine out of 10, 75 percent of the time.



That and her tactics, which have been documented as "occasionally distracting."

Zdenka Podkapova



Sometimes it's best to just watch a pro in action, and learn.



Some can learn with the nutshell explanation, while others need frame-by-frame illustration.



If you employ the latter, I recommend using her model, and not being reluctant to rewind.



More often than not, the results will be sweet,



the after-effect stunning,



and the work-space ambience enjoyable.

That's it for this week. Don't forget, workers: Punch your Gorilla Mask card on the way to the Daily Niner for happy hour.
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Monday, April 21, 2008

Baseball In The Daytime: Patriots' Day Breakfast Special

Of all the days contained in a baseball season, the finest are ones that promise day games. And of all those days, the absolute pinnacle is today. It's Patriots' Day, folks, and so if you live in Massachusetts or Maine you're off work today.

Actually, if you live in New England you've been drinking since sunrise and have probably already punched a cop, thus you'll be missing BITD this morning. Unless your holding cell has StubNets access.

On this day that we remember the Battle of Lexington and Concord, the Boston Marathon is scheduled to snake through the streets of the old colonial hub. The Red Sox are always home as well, and to accommodate the race they schedule the first pitch at 11:05 Eastern, 9:05 Mountain. On the West Coast I think the game is already in the sixth, please don't spoil it by telling me the score.

Fun side note: we almost started Baseball In The Daytime on Patriots' Day last year, but we, um, didn't.

I geared up for today's pseudo-holiday by diving into HBO's John Adams miniseries, which concluded last night but I just started watching on the TiVo. Excellent. The wife and I made it through the second episode, in which the Battle of Lexington and Concord takes place, so I feel good and historied up to drink a bunch of Sam Adams at work and not answer the phone. Stay tuned after the jump for more fun Red Sox homerism, U.S. history and...a game in Canadia? Oh fuck that...

Texas @ Boston, 9:05 The morning contest at Fenway features a pair of products of the Red Sox farm system. Clay Buchholz is the rail-thin righty who raised expectations to unreachable heights with a no-hitter last autumn. Kason Gabbard was a serviceable lefty who carried a 3.86 ERA with the big club last year before Theo Epstein shipped him off in the Eric Gagne deal. Whoops. The Sox are white-charcoal-hot right now, after a 5-1 week that saw them win four games that they trailed after seven innings, including a comeback from 5-0 down yesterday.

My favorite part was the lineup jitterbug that took place after Manny Ramirez got ejected for arguing balls and strikes in the second. Some farmhand played left for a while, and then Francona inserted rookie phenom Jed Lowrie as a pinch-hitter during the eighth inning rally. This forced shortstop Julio Lugo to left field defensively in the ninth, and the final popout was snagged by Lowrie directly in front of Lugo, who looked annoyed at the kid. It's a metaphor, Julio--he's literally taking your job right in front of your eyes.

Detroit @ Toronto, 10:37 God damn Canada bugs me. You still start your games at 10:37, for no fucking reason other than to be difficult. At least you dumped Frank Thomas, he's horrible. The only way the Blue Jays can redeem themselves in my eyes is to acquire Barry Lamar Bonds as their new DH. Today the home team starts Shawn Marcum against Armando Gallaragga of the Tigers.

Play Ball!
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