Thursday ThumbTubes and YouNails: 7-10-08

I've noticed a trend around this House. Every time a post is published that would likely generate a lot of commentary, nothing happens. Then, a post that seems harmless and inane sparks fireworks and mayhem, and comments come from all directions. Right now, I'm dumbfounded. Not one of you readers had anything to say about this post? For reals? Nothing? Fine then. On to things of greater substance, i.e., what other folks are discussing. I for one am still sickened by the inclusion of Dorf in anything associated with fame and/or halls. In the words of that one famous dead white guy, "Give me a Dorfless broadcast, or give me death. And by "death," I mean a bar with flatscreens showing poker, NASCAR, the Tour de France and some MMA/UFC action, and nothing else. Darkness, I tell you. Bitter, cold darkness...Moving on...

The Leitchless Spin on Dead has a duo of noteworthy stories today. The first is by the former international man of mystery, Drew Magary, a.k.a. Big Daddy Drew, a.k.a. Big Daddy Balls, a.k.a. Editor-at-Large, a.k.a. Balls Deep, and it centers on Favraro, and it might be laced with profanity.



You decide if "laced" is an appropriate term, and I'll decide that any post with the word "nee" deserves kudos. What is the piece really about? Old No. 4 as a purple people eater. Whatever. Put Favre under center, hand off to Adrian Peterson, let Jared Allen drink his O'doul's, and I'll tell you what you have: a team coached by "Chilly" that won't be making any Super Sunday appearances. You heard it here first. Call Vegas. Minnesota will not win the NFC.

The second piece involves a pair of sports blogosphere hotties: Jenn Sterger and Erin Andrews.





Will they scrap? Who's number one on the SearchEngines? Which one's more popular? I. Couldn't. Care. Less. I've got two words for these broads, and two words only. They are: "mud" and "wrestle."

In news of the more important, Awful Announcing graces us with a clip of the two most important people to ever walk the planet:



Oh. Wait. Deion? My bad. I thought it was Irvin and Jones.

Speaking of the playmaker, Matt Jones, as Kissing Suzy Kolber suggests, has borrowed a page from Mike's book.



I guess it was time to add more than just stats to his unofficial nickname as the great white dope hope.

The Kansas City Royals, even though they lost the series against the White Sox, won in dramatic fashion this evening, courtesy of some dapper hitting by non-All-Star Jose Guillen (Editor's Note: Blow me, Evan Longoria.), and an inside-the-park homerun (his second of the year) by Mark Teahen. Tomorrow night, the Mariners come to town. With Leather notifies us that Richie Sexson is not likely to beat up any Royals pitchers make the trip with the Ms. That's too bad, too. Our HoG dugout reporters were looking to conduct a follow-up interview with the most-ridiculously overpaid-first baseman in baseball, too.



I guess that means the Sexson family will be taking a pay cut. And apparently (The Big Lead tells us), so are strippers. Coincidence? You be the judge. That story reeks of dank and unappealing body parts. As does this (also courtesy of TBL) clip:



Other baseball news, brought to you by Major League Jerk, analyzes the trade market and its recent successes/failures.



When talking of success and failure, folks often ask me what I think of the Internet and things like Google image searches. And my answer is this: I don't know. I have no freaking idea how you can grapple with such a large animal and put rules in place and enforce them. But I do know this: If I enter the words "Johan" and "Santana" into a search box, and this image is one of the many that come up...



...we gotta be doing something right, America.

Also in the neighborhood of Touch, it's Suh-man-tah! Okay, okay. Alyssa Milano. She's hanging in Philly, hugging lots of people (including the Phanatic), plugging her clothing line, and fending off creepy announcers.



The 700 Level clued us in on this one. We didn't even know Alyssa Milano liked baseball. Or wait...did we?