Friday, July 11, 2008

My Sports Life is a Rock Song: "Good King Wenceslas"

When we kicked off this feature, I wanted to make it clear in the introduction to the debut installment, that "Rock" as part of the title only exists for the sake of a good-sounding name. So, yeah. Christmas songs count, too. Now, as we approach the boundary waters of NFL training camp days, I'm not feeling too terrible about the Chiefs this year. That is, I know they're not going to be great, and I know they won't lose 16 games. I also know they won't be good, per se, but don't really think they'll be all that bad. What I mean is, I think there will be some positives to the game they put on the field, but beyond that, I have no idea what this team will look like. So I'm throwing out this wintry classic by John Mason Neale about the one-time king of Bohemia who was killed by his brother, whose name was Boleslaw. Ouch.

Av'rage Coach Ed-wards looked out,
On the eve of the season.
A match with the Pats left want for shout,
Good fortune he was teasin'.
The crystal ball clutched in his palm,
Repeatedly looked foggy.
Most of his young players did not look calm,
leaving him quite groggy.

Herm he placed a trepid call,
to his GM's chambers.
"We gonna win some games this fall,
Show them all we gamers."
"Best be true lest we be axed,"
Was King Carl's answer.
"Clark's good fan base has been taxed,
They'll skewer us like a lancer."

"Fret not Mr. Pet-er-son,
Have ye faith in Herman.
I'm the man to get it done,
I preach quite a sermon."
"Save your words for the 'morrow,
Kindle up some spirit.
From Belichick's book I hope you borrow,
Save SpyGate 'cause I fear it."

"Carl you know I'm not a cheat,
That just ain't my sty-le.
I've trained these kids to not be beat,
They've run six scores a mi-le."
"Beat these guys, nee, beat them all,
My crave is for Lom-bar-di.
A bust of me should grace the Hall,
I've felt since days of Mar-ty."

"Fear not o proud boss of mine,
I'm certain you will be proud.
On KC the sun will shine,
Our home again shall be loud.
Prom-i-ses of void I'll not,
I'll leave you free from sha-ame.
Or Herm Edwards my name is not,
We play to win the ga-ame!"

So, yeah. Chiefs Nation has the certainty of mock Christmas tunes in the department of faith going for it. Which is nice.

1 comments:

Cecil said...

I always like a side of Boleslaw with my traditional Christmas-in-July ribs.