Baseball in the Daytime: 7-23-08

It's a good thing there's not any less daytime today than any other non-night chunk of time, because there's a bunch of Wednesday affairs happening around the league. Five of our six divisions are tight as a calf-muscle cramp in the middle of the night. The only one that's a bit skewed is that bastard AL West that just invites Texan teams in out of the kindness of its heart. Well, that and because nobody else'd have 'em. Anyhoo, lots of baseball to preview, so let's dive right in.

Whale's Vagina @ WKRP, 11:35: This match kicks off in moments, so we'll get this post up and edited so's the likes of yas can tune in where necessary. Your pitching matchup is a doozy: Greg Maddux against Bronson Arroyo, or Triceratops meets Matthew Nelson. Okay, nobody would say that. Old dude vs. semi-young hippie? Maybe. Anyway, the Gergmeister brings a lowly three wins to the contest while Balky boasts eight victories, but a higher E.R.A. The Padres don't have anything shy of the worst record in baseball, and the Reds really have their work cut out for them if they wanna hang around in October. Magic Eight Ball says: Not fucking likely. Pick this snoozer up on the XM dial. If ya' lickin', it's 183.

Greg Wesley's New Home @ Sister City to St. Petersburg, 11:40: Here we have the Athletics at the non-devil Rays. Greg Smith challenges James Shields in a dual. The visiting ace looks for his sixth win of the campaign, while Shields seeks the inverted six. Oakland has some work to do if they want to catch Los Pornaheim in the West, and now's the time to do it, as Tampa Bay has gone 3-7 in their last 10, allowing the Socks of Rojo to pull within a half game. DirecTV has this one on channel 722; 179's your spot if your XMing it.

One-half of Twin Cities @ City That Never Sleeps, 12:05: The stupid Yankees have won five games in a row, and they'll send Mike Mussina and his 12 victories to the hill to take on lefty Glen Perkins, who himself has seven wins and has won the last three he's started. In the Central, the Twins are only a game and-a-half back of the Stockings of Blanco, while the Yankees long to mount Boston from behind. I have no idea what that means, but they trail the Rays by three and-a-half. DTV hooks many a brotha' up with the Twins feed on 723, while comin' at ya' New York Style on the 724, and that'd be a 176er for you XM kids.

We've a pair of contests that get underway five minutes after one.

Ass of Tex @ those aforementioned White Stockings, 1:05: The six-win/six-loss poster child for mediocrity known as Kevin Millwood trots to the visiting mound today, while the South Siders send debut hurler Clayton Richard to the rubber. With Jose Contreras on the DL, this kid was called up, and he managed to net 12 wins and keep his E.R.A. under three all season. The Sox will need his minor-league success to translate to the bigs if they're to cling to that AL Central lead, while the Rangers have shown marked improvement on what was a terrible start. They're actually right there in the race with Oakland to try and catch the never-settling Pornaheimsters. Rangers feed on the 725; Sox on 726. XM delivers the match on the numeric palindrome channel, 181.

Steel City @ We Have a Problem, 1:05: This contest will cause a lot of eye boogers to form in your orbs, and increase your desire for a Red Bull ten-fold. Two clubs, both at 46-54, tied for last in the NL Central, send a couple of Pretty Boy Floyds out to throw. Ian Snell, and his 3-8 mark faces the hometeam town Astros, and the 5-4 Brian Moehler. Geez. I may have to nap after previewing that one. I certainly won't pick up the 727 DirecTV, or the 188 XM, but you can if you like.

Motown @ & the Sunshine Band, 1:10: Here we have Armando Galarraga at 7-4 taking on...what? a Royals pitcher with a +.500 mark? Zack Greinke has a 7-6 record, but don't worry, his E.R.A. is almost at six. Anyway, strange game. The Royals dominated the ailing Tigers early in the season, sweeping them in both sets. Detroit returned the favor, however, stomping the Royals 19-4 two nights ago, and 7-1 last night. This is far from a rubber match. It's a mercy match, and you can find it on on DirecTV 728 (Tigers) and 729 (Royals), or listen in on XM 180.

City of Angels @ Rocky Mountain High, 2:05: I expect the home team should win this one. It's time for the Rockies to regain their post-season composure from a season ago, and start winning some ball games. That, and National League teams from Los Angeles are queerer than gay Sunday brunches with thuper-duper peppery Bloody Marys. The Dodgers are one game behind Arizona, and will send the 5-6 Hiroki Kuroda out for a ball-chucking contest against the 3-3 lefty Glendon Rusch. Rusch has been assigned losses for five of his 10 starts against L.A., and managed to keep his E.R.A. just under 15. So, uh, yeah. Forget about that part where I said the home team, blah, blah, blah. DirecTV 694/XM 185.

City Hated by Jesus @ City of Angels AL-style, 2:35: Here's a winning combination: It's the lefty Laffey and the righty Lackey in a both-hands battle to the finish. Laffey and the KC-threatening Tribe hope to add to their three-game winning streak, while the Halos have got the switches and knobs set to cruise control. Lackey's 7-2 on the year with an E.R.A. of 2.58, but he's had a not-so-smooth last couple of outings, while Laffey looks for his sixth win, a victory that would pull his record to even. Angels fans should dial their DirecTVs to 692, Indians fans 731. Over on the XM side of things, it's Turk 182!

Beantown @ Starbucks Central, 3:40: Clay Buchholz hits the hill in this battle of righties. His 0-3 mark, 9.64 E.R.A in his last three starts can't get any worse, and his counterpart, the 7-6 Felix Hernandez looks to right the ship of Mariners. They've lost four in a row, but Hernandez had a solid outing in his first post-break contest, and experts say his best career game came against these Red Sox. Well, not these Red Sox, but I'm sure some facets of the club were similar. Anyway, this game can be seen Sox-style 733, Mariner-mode 734. In the department of things X and M, listen on the 177.

That's nine, count 'em, nine! ah! ah! ah! battles of baseball in the blistering July daytime (Editor's Note: All times are Central). Get 'em while they're hot. They won't get much hotter. One water for every two beers out there, and save an empty for those seed shells.