Whoa. Wow. WTF? I cannot get my head around this story in which, allegedly, a fan of the Pittsburgh Steelers kicked a 13-week-old puppy to death because the animal would not behave. I hope that bum gets the chair.
(props to Arrowhead Pride and Deadspin)
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Ever find yourself zapped of energy with weeks zipping past faster than you can keep track of? What? Most every day? Well, then. Some ThumbTubes & YouNails oughtta set you straight. Or just make you sleepier.
Several reports from earlier in the week suggested that Milton Bradley was a new man.
He begs to differ. I wonder what his mother thinks. Speaking of mothers:
That ruled.
Last night's game one between the St. Louis Blues and the Vancouver Canucks was one of the rough-and-tumblest, fastest-skating hockey contests I'd seen in many years. It got me even more pumped for the playoffs than I already was,
and then this hit the 'Tubes, leaving me thoroughly unsure if I'm highly aroused, or completely disgusted.
Um, this is nearly five minutes of sheer awesome:
Praise you black-and-silver Jesus for not making me an Oakland fan. And ol' boy there best be thankin' Christ I don't have his e-mail address.
Along the lines of reverence, thank fucking God the new Big Daddy Drew Penthouse column is out. 
I feel like it's been three months since the last one was posted. Don't make me, impatient, Penthouse. You wouldn't like me when I'm impatient. And yes, it's SFW.
This video is half awesome, half terrible:
The awesome, I think, is obvious. The terrible is that, had it gone another seven seconds, you would've seen some girls skipping rope, some girls lounging poolside, and some girls baby-oil wrestling, all saying that the House of Georges was their favorite YardBarker Network blog. No kiddin'. Stupid editors.
Continuing the theme of stupid...
You stay classy, Milwaukee.
Then there's this:
All I can say is "tulips on the mound"? Yeesh.
And that's gonna do it. Ran a little shy on 'Nails. Tried to make up for it with extra 'Tubes. Peace out.
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Just thought I'd share this lil' spasm of joy, courtesy of a die-hard Chefs fan (via ESPN.com's messageboards and poster martinbonewitz, whoever that genius bastard is).
well start from i love the chiefs to death but i think matt cassel is doom becuase he's not goin to do anything with are front line so shtty and we did nothing to fix it this offseason and the only good olineman we hav left he wants out so i can see why LG AND TG AND BW wants out we bring in old player's why not bring in harrison not bobby and torry holt is out there ah haley get a real WR harrison or holt and man get some olineman man we are goin to take a good QB and make him look shty i hate to say it but my team is starting to look like the browns the browns do the same thing bring in old player's think their goin to help never do i just dont get it but to tell the truth am not looking forward to this year maybe we will be good in 2010 but haley draft curry he will be gd next to DJ WE NEED HIM BAD..
well i dont see TG playing for us next year it would be great dont get me wrong i would hate to see him in a other uniform but he gave us all he hade and hunt u owe him big he could of left a long time ago and i want to see TG win a champion ship i dont know about all the chief fans but he deserves to have a ring and hes not getting it in kansas city only way he will if he play's another 5yrs maybe well be up their to win one but man let TG go so he can sign wit the pats arizona colts or sht the steelers i hate to see the BEST TIGHT END TO EVER PLAY THE GAME NOT HAV A RING WHEN HE FINALLY LEAVE'S THE GAME
Couple quick bites on the quarterback situation due west of Limon, Colorado. Not sure if much of this is news, but I found it relatively jaw-dropping.
I'll not attempt to out wordsmith my Colorado colleagues with regard to the seemingly never-ending Jay Cutler situation, but there are a few scrap heaps I'll throw in. Like this one: "'Cutler is one of those young guns out there that brings great name recognition from the get-go...But I don't think football-wise it would add that much...I believe Jay Cutler is one of the top 12 quarterbacks in the NFL, but I would not put him in the top eight. He has a lot more to prove.'
Dilfer's concern — and one area he doesn't give Cutler an edge over Sage Rosenfels or Tarvaris Jackson — is managing key downs."
I have two thoughts on this and they are these: 1) I always appreciated Trent Dilfer solely for the fact that the Baltimore Ravens won a Super Bowl with a guy like Dilfer under center. It somehow ties to the sense of fleeting hope Kansas City fans had around 2000, when the Schottenheimer regime had ended, Gunther Cunningham was coach, and the Gannon-Grbacle was still a rotten taste in the mouth. It spoke to me and said, "See? You can win without an elite quarterback." At the time, I'd managed to block out the other 417 voices screaming "Holy Fuck -- We are going to suck forever!" 2) I don't intend to question, per se, Dilfer's playing ability. I'm not a professional athlete, and I've never inhabited his body, but I will say that in his effort here to make what I consider a decent point or two, he has officially placed himself in the Duh Seat for not giving Cutler an edge over Tarvaris Jackson or Sage Rosenfels.
I don't care if we're talking third-down play or drug purchasing; I'm sure he does a better job at most anything than those two clowns.
Oh, Mark Kiszla. How do you still have a job?
"Happy trails, Jay Cutler. Have a nice life. Here are three quarterbacks who could make the Broncos a better football team when you're gone:
1) Matthew Stafford, Georgia Bulldogs
2) Brady Quinn, Cleveland Browns
3) Tony Romo, Dallas Cowboys"
Hasn't everyone been saying that this year's crop of QBs is less than impressive? Isn't Cutler already an improvement since he's got experience and knows the system? Didn't you watch that thriller (Editor's Note: Do not take the black glove out, Brandon.) of a game between the Browns and the Broncos? Didn't Cutler get the edge in that dual? Didn't Quinn wind up on the bench again later? On Rome today, there was mention of Tony Romo being more interested in being a celebrity than a winning quarterback. I won't say I agree because part of me thinks that he media wants Tony Romo to be a celebrity just because his pal Peter Goezinya has been inside Jessica Simpson's garage. His team, however, the one with an oft-impressive roster, has come up short in big situations.
And Woody Paige, you worthless vile of simmering ejaculation. I won't even honor your post with a blockquote, but way to have six exclamation points in you opening 'graph. Billy Shakespeare? Pigeon Valley? Why don't you go hang out on a couple of terrible ESPN shows for a few years, and then come crawling back to Denver. Oh, wait...
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For those not in the know, Kansas City Chiefs running back Larry Johnson was interviewed by Chris and Cowboy of local sports-talk radio station KCSP, 610 AM. The 23-minute bit aired yesterday morning, and people are still freaking out about it. Rightfully so. It's pretty preposterous, and if you're so inclined, you can hear it here. If you spent any time listening to the station yesterday -- or caught any of it on ESPN or the NFL Network -- you've probably heard the important blips. In a nutshell, they are...
...a re-hashing of what Johnson said after the Chiefs' final game this season: a) his time in Kansas City is done, b) he doesn't care for the city or the organization, c) that his beef wasn't with Carl Peterson, d) that he liked Herman Edwards, and e) that most of his teammates have his back.
Once the Chiefs name their new head coach, which some are speculating could happen today, this will easily be the largest issue for the franchise to deal with as it moves toward the 2009 season. I have a number of thoughts on the scenario that unfolded yesterday, but my largest curiosity centers around what good (beyond ratings and appeal) the station thought would come of the interview, and more importantly, why Johnson agreed to it. Station management had to know this would only increase the rift between Johnson and the organization/fans, and from a self-marketing standpoint, I find it hard to believe that Johnson thinks that this material could cast him in a positive light in the eyes of potential employers.
There was, however, one thought yesterday, that kept hitting my brain as I was in and out of the car, catching various segments of the broadcast day: It's only a matter of moments before someone tries to make this a race issue that it is not. Frankly, I should've known that it wouldn't be a listener that conveyed it, be it via a phone call, a text, or an e-mail message to the show, but an employee of the station. And I should've known that it would be the biggest idiot on the payroll: Nick Wright. I couldn't have applauded 610 more when they finally cut their ties with Rhonda Moss. She. Was. Awful. Their biggest downfall was that they waited many months too long in doing so. And then they moved Wright to a weekday slot, only bringing them right back to the status of a pretty good station with one massive corn on the foot of its staff.
I've voiced my opinions on Wright once before, and I haven't done so more often because I think his show -- though in his intro he touts it as "The Best Solo Sports Talk Radio Show in Town" -- is nothing shy of terrible. Whether his angles are his own or force-fed by management, they are, contrary to Web publishings of his alma mater, the exact opposite of "fresh, colorful style that's smart and street-inflected." That is, they are stale, bland, and wanna-be. Wright boasts his Kansas City nativeness, and that story suggests that he has a "thick, urban, Midwest drawl has a distinct tone that engages the listener." The only credit I'll acknowledge there is that his voice is in fact thick. Thick in undesirable, fat-hangover-tongue way that a body works overtime in removing from its system. Midwest drawl? Does such a thing exist? Distinct? He sounds like he's trying to impersonate Damon Amendolara, who, much as I liked his program, sounded like he was trying to impersonate Jim Rome. Engages the listener? Sure. Engages them to change the channel.
I will say that themes of race were touched on during Neal Jones' segment. He mentioned that he has had African-American colleagues in the past that have been the victim of racial profiling when driving home late at night. Jones, though, didn't dwell on the issue very long, and the reason he didn't was because that's not what this story is about. I will also admit that there were very mild undertones of race in some of yesterday's callers. They were no different than the same vibes that were cast during the prolonged weeks during the Scott Pioli hiring and the Herman Edwards firing. Perhaps they even stretched back to the Carl Peterson resignation week.
And in my mind those sentiments were this: The majority of callers that voiced their opinion of wanting to keep Edwards around appeared to be black. Conversely, the majority of the callers that wanted him gone appeared to be white. There are two caveats to those statements, and they are these: 1) Most of the callers are white, and 2) There were in fact a few black callers that wanted Herm gone, and there were a few white callers that wanted Herm to stay. Those few, however, were very few, the obvious minority. All of this, though, as a whole, remained an undertone.
Yesterday, at the dreaded six o'clock hour when Jones hands the mic to Wright, the host of "What's Wright" kicked off his show by proudly announcing that he was going to dive straight into the race issue, and pound it home because it needed to be done. What he said as a prelude was deeply disturbing, and it (paraphrased) went a little like this:"I listened to the radio all day, and a significant portion of the callers were angry with Larry Johnson. Not all of them, but most, maybe 20 percent. You could feel the racial tension in their voices, and you could feel a couple of them being very close to dropping 'N' bombs. You could tell that most of these callers are envious and jealous of a young, rich, rapper-looking, hip-hop-listening-to, black man, and the things that he has said, and the off-the-field incidents he's been a part of have done nothing but contribute to their dislike of this professional athlete."
That segment aired right as I was getting home. On my agenda was to tend to the dogs and get dinner ready. I could've gone inside and turned on the program, but I did not. I was torn in that I wanted to hear some reactions to his statement, but I was also furious that this massive doofus with a radio show would fuel the race fire by such allegations as callers to his stations wanting to drop 'N' bombs and being jealous, envious, and angry with a person because of the color of his skin.
Now, I'm not trying to imply that there isn't racism out there, and I don't want to suggest that there aren't Chiefs fans who are racists, or who don't like Johnson. To that end, Johnson claims in his interview that one of "the suits" at Arrowhead told his father and someone else that he knows that Johnson "walks around like a rapper." I don't know exactly what that means, but if a Chiefs executive -- all of whom are white that I know of -- said that, I can't imagine it was spoken in complimentary terms. I only mean to say that I find it disturbing and saddening that a radio voice, one who was deemed by a college colleague as having cred', would dive into a broadcast with such a topic.
Most of the callers that I heard yesterday wanted to voice their opinions on Johnson in either a game-performance or an off-the-field sense. And I get that. The skinny on Johnson, in my humble opinion though, is this: It's both.
In my utopian mind, I want my team to be full of Tony Gonzalezes and Brian Waterses. In his interview, Johnson said he understands why fans really like guys like that, that he wishes he could be like those guys, but he can't because his "situation is different." Gonzalez and Waters are great role models in both senses: They are Pro Bowlers as well as great community leaders. So was Will Shields. So was Trent Green, and so was the figure most often compared to Johnson: Priest Holmes. Holmes, though he had a stigma for being weird and ghostlike and secret, never got involved with any of the bullshit.
Johnson, after his first two legal issues, took over for Holmes and went off, putting together two very impressive seasons. When he got involved with the personal-life stuff, I was disappointed. It didn't help matters for me that he clashed with Dick Vermeil, a coach I very much loved and respected. But he got past those incidents and produced on the field in Pro Bowl fashion. Then he sat out. Then he got his giant payday, and then he got hurt. Soon after, he's having legal troubles again, getting benched, getting suspended, and seldom producing out of the backfield.
Some wanted to point to his yards per carry in 2008. I say it's a misleading stat in this situation. He didn't get the carries he would've liked this year. With a re-tooled offense, he didn't even hit the 200 mark. His 4.5 YPC mark, however, didn't come in the way of finding seams, hitting holes, and breaking tackles every time he had the ball. That stat is largely padded from a few huge runs he had in a small handful of games. He had seven carries of 20 yards or more, three of 40+, and one that went for 65. He also fumbled the ball five times in what one might call limited duty. When you miss four games because of conduct, and cough up the rock at such a rate, you're good for a fumble every two and-a-half games, which, in a rebuilding mode, on a losing team wherein you are the highest-paid player, ain't good.
So it's both. Johnson now has four (that we know of) legal issues in six years as a Chief. You're one of few veterans supposedly responsible for guiding one of the youngest teams in the league, and you're getting arrested/having charges pressed against you once every season and-a-half. And you haven't produced since you got handed big bucks. Sure. Injuries and the offensive system in place are factors. But add to that a now-totalling (at least) half a dozen times where you've told the media that you don't like the fans, the city, the organization, or some facet of all three, and you aren't going to win folks over, black or white.
As for my opinion on his future, I'd like him to stick around. I think with the right general manager, coach, and offensive scheme, Johnson could become the huge asset he's been paid to be. It's unfortunate now, though, that his negative stigma
(clip courtesy of Arrowhead Addict)
is greater than ever, making the career hill he's got to climb, steeper than ever.
As for Nick thinks-of-himself-as-cutting-edge Wright, God help us.
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I've noticed a trend around this House. Every time a post is published that would likely generate a lot of commentary, nothing happens. Then, a post that seems harmless and inane sparks fireworks and mayhem, and comments come from all directions. Right now, I'm dumbfounded. Not one of you readers had anything to say about this post? For reals? Nothing? Fine then. On to things of greater substance, i.e., what other folks are discussing. I for one am still sickened by the inclusion of Dorf in anything associated with fame and/or halls. In the words of that one famous dead white guy, "Give me a Dorfless broadcast, or give me death. And by "death," I mean a bar with flatscreens showing poker, NASCAR, the Tour de France and some MMA/UFC action, and nothing else. Darkness, I tell you. Bitter, cold darkness...Moving on...
The Leitchless Spin on Dead has a duo of noteworthy stories today. The first is by the former international man of mystery, Drew Magary, a.k.a. Big Daddy Drew, a.k.a. Big Daddy Balls, a.k.a. Editor-at-Large, a.k.a. Balls Deep, and it centers on Favraro, and it might be laced with profanity. 
You decide if "laced" is an appropriate term, and I'll decide that any post with the word "nee" deserves kudos. What is the piece really about? Old No. 4 as a purple people eater. Whatever. Put Favre under center, hand off to Adrian Peterson, let Jared Allen drink his O'doul's, and I'll tell you what you have: a team coached by "Chilly" that won't be making any Super Sunday appearances. You heard it here first. Call Vegas. Minnesota will not win the NFC.
The second piece involves a pair of sports blogosphere hotties: Jenn Sterger and Erin Andrews.
Will they scrap? Who's number one on the SearchEngines? Which one's more popular? I. Couldn't. Care. Less. I've got two words for these broads, and two words only. They are: "mud" and "wrestle."
In news of the more important, Awful Announcing graces us with a clip of the two most important people to ever walk the planet:
Oh. Wait. Deion? My bad. I thought it was Irvin and Jones.
Speaking of the playmaker, Matt Jones, as Kissing Suzy Kolber suggests, has borrowed a page from Mike's book.
I guess it was time to add more than just stats to his unofficial nickname as the great white dope hope.
The Kansas City Royals, even though they lost the series against the White Sox, won in dramatic fashion this evening, courtesy of some dapper hitting by non-All-Star Jose Guillen (Editor's Note: Blow me, Evan Longoria.), and an inside-the-park homerun (his second of the year) by Mark Teahen. Tomorrow night, the Mariners come to town. With Leather notifies us that Richie Sexson is not likely to beat up any Royals pitchers make the trip with the Ms. That's too bad, too. Our HoG dugout reporters were looking to conduct a follow-up interview with the most-ridiculously overpaid-first baseman in baseball, too.
I guess that means the Sexson family will be taking a pay cut. And apparently (The Big Lead tells us), so are strippers. Coincidence? You be the judge. That story reeks of dank and unappealing body parts. As does this (also courtesy of TBL) clip:
Other baseball news, brought to you by Major League Jerk, analyzes the trade market and its recent successes/failures.
When talking of success and failure, folks often ask me what I think of the Internet and things like Google image searches. And my answer is this: I don't know. I have no freaking idea how you can grapple with such a large animal and put rules in place and enforce them. But I do know this: If I enter the words "Johan" and "Santana" into a search box, and this image is one of the many that come up...
...we gotta be doing something right, America.
Also in the neighborhood of Touch, it's Suh-man-tah! Okay, okay. Alyssa Milano. She's hanging in Philly, hugging lots of people (including the Phanatic), plugging her clothing line, and fending off creepy announcers.
The 700 Level clued us in on this one. We didn't even know Alyssa Milano liked baseball. Or wait...did we?
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