Tradition Tuesday: Tony Gonzalez Sure Is A Swell Gay I Mean Guy

I don't know where that came from. A Freudian slip? I mean, Tony G is totally heterosexual, right? Just because he's in a committed civil union doesn't mean anything. It's with a woman, and a hot one at that. So it's settled. Gonzalez is not gay. So stop implying it.

He does like to wrap his arms around other dudes in public, though, but only to save them from choking. He gets no pleasure from the embrace. Seriously, grow up.

Oh, I almost forgot...

The rough focus of this blog is the rivalry between the Kansas City Chiefs (heralded by Bankmeister) and the Denver Broncos (championed by Cecil and Old No. 7). It may seem unfair that it's two versus one, but once KC gets that second Super Bowl win we'll even out the delegation.

Eight years ago we started The Tradition, in which Bronco fans travel out to the Truman Sports Complex with their team, and Chief lovers return to the Rocky Mountains with theirs. We tailgate, we talk massive amounts of shit, our wives are occasionally assaulted by rival fans, and we almost always watch the visiting team lose. It's a grand old time.

Here at the HoG, we're going to keep The Tradition going with Tradition Tuesday--a weekly state-of-the-rivalry address.

Now that the formalities are out of the way, let's get down to the nitty gritty. While Mr. Gonzalez plies his trade out there as a mighty good tight end--even one who's sneaking up on one Shannon Sharpe in terms of historical relevance at the position--back here in Denver we're stuck with but a single question: Why is Daniel Graham such a complete sack of shit?

In March of 2007 Graham signed a five year, $30 million contract that included a whopping $15 mil in guarantees. It seemed to be so perfect--Graham could free himself of the stifling platoon with Ben Watson he toiled under in New England, he could return to the state where he shined as a CU Buffalo, and Denver's exceedingly TE-friendly offense could blossom with his blocking and red-zone receiving skills.

I even made a $50 bet he'd score eight touchdowns last year. I'd forgotten about that bet until just now, and I think the dude I made it with has too. Graham scored two TDs, on a measly 24 catches. He posted a bagel in five games. And in doing so he looked slow and clumsy. After being a focal point of the offense early in the season, his looks diminished as the year progressed.

I still dream of a day when the Broncos can regularly go to a two-TE set and turn into an offensive steamroller. If Graham wasn't such a bust, a formation with him, fellow TE Tony Scheffler, Brandon Marshall, a tailback du jour and either a fullback or slot receiver could both devastate in the running game and still stretch the field with the pass. But Graham kills the offense. If Scheffler can stay healthy, he's clearly the No. 1 guy, relegating Dan Graham and his $15 million signing bonus as dead weight.

I'm under no illusions that this offense will do much this season regardless. The line is under construction, Marshall is coming off gruesome injuries, the remaining receivers are pedestrian, and the lack of a dynamic back means a sure platoon of backup-type runners. Couple these handicaps with a young diabetic QB and I don't see a lot of scoring. But if anyone here needs to step up it's the guy with the Bronco lineage, championship pedigree and fat contract. You're killing me, Graham.

Perhaps last year was an aberration, and Graham will bounce back in '08. I hope so, because another choke job like last year will take much more than a Tony Gonzalez rear-entry reacharound Heimlich move to fix.