We Are Hot Chicks Wednesday: Blowout Liquidation

I don't even know what that headline means, but it means something. Like, perhaps it's a gentle innuendo to suggest our sincerest apologies for missing the WAHCW feature last week, and we'll make up for it this week. Or maybe it's a totally inappropriate euphemism. Who knows. Our editors -- who we blame for last week's mishap -- slap headlines on these features once our proofs are submitted, so it's kind of out of our hands. They can be dicks at times, and frankly, I'll be surprised if any of these words make it to press. Anyway, lots in store for today. Whether we get around to it or not is another story. In the meantime, get on board, jump inside. We're going for a magic ride. Rolling toward the other side, we're only rainbows high...

Aria Giovanni



Miss Giovanni likes Cardigan sweaters.



On this we can agree with our editors that they suit her well.

Ali Landry



We don't think there's any relation between Ali and the great Cowboys coach.



But we're easily convinced of most anything.



Put a Stetson hat on her. I'll buy it.



Hell, I'd believe it if you told me those were Dallas beaches in the background.



If there's no blood line, she was at least an inspiration for some football guy somewhere.

Calista Valentine



Most flea markets and second-hand stores sell books.



They should totally have a "librarian type" in charge of those sections.

Candice Cardinele



I understand gypsies frequent sales of great magnitudes.



I'd like to frequent the abode of Miss Cardinele.

Charisma Carpenter



Charisma's parents get a free voucher for a corn dog with any purchase.



Whether she came from the womb with spunk,



or they thought she'd one day build a swell shed, kudos to them. No discounts.

Cara Michelle



This image of the lovely Cara makes for a nice wall mount.



Fill in your own token "mount" saying here.

Elisha Cuthbert



Elisha is a prize worthy of only the silent auction variety.



The highest bidder will carry his head proudly in silence.



Like the cinematic arts, the silence she inspires is golden.

Eva Padberg



Mommas, please. Let your babies grow up to be cowgirls.



Or whatever they want really.



Legs for days equals yes, you mays. Anytime.

Estella Warren



Higher class botiques utilize human displays to show the elegance of their goods.



They use various lighting and contrast schemes,



the occasional posterboard display,



and other tantalizing effects,



all of which communicate the intensity of the product.

Francine Dee



Occasionally, some shops will offer fortune-telling experts.



These goddesses of wizardry can tell the future,



and sometimes the past.

Heidi Wheeler



Folks frequently shop at bazaars and markets for home decor items.



But we advise that you always keep an eye out for office goods, too.

Jennifer Ellison



The lovely Jennifer believes there are certain markets worth perusing for bed linens.



There are also some that specialize in self-promotion material,



work regalia,



knick-knacks for the home or office study,



and even clothing needs for that special someone.



Be it elements for the wardrobe or furniture for the lounge,



sales always help the consumer stretch their dollars.

Kristin Cardenas



Liquidation sale shopping is always a bonus when matching garments can be found.



Miss Cardenas has been known to snag a good or two,



then look for its mate elsewhere.

Ksenia Pajcin



Thrifty shoppers find that funds spent in the second-hand world frees up monies for other purposes, like vacation.



Ksenia took this trip after replacing her entire wardrobe, limited as it is/was.

Leeann Tweeden



Leeann Tweeden is a veteran in every sense of the word.



She scores fashion throwbacks and newbies wherever she goes,



and has a knack for making them look fresh and new.

Louise Glover



Louise Glover takes that knack to the next level.



Her thrifty nickel often becomes a dollar,



which obviously, more than doubles her savings.



At the end of a long day of sales shopping, she can unwind with a clear conscience,



and a sense of confidence for the next time she hits the market.

Maria Grazia Cucinotta



Maria is a pro in her own regard.



Her ability centers on the simplest of purchases,



and placing them in the most exotic locales.

Melissa Puente



The stunning Melissa shops for comfort.



No sale items is too small for her needs,



and her needs are a mix of rudiment and class.

Michelle Hunziker



Michelle keeps an eye out for things of the artsy variety when shopping.



Her desire for flair and glamour are never left unsatiated,



and she backs those qualities with passion,



and a flamboyance seldom matched by other connoisseurs.



Her other admirable quality is that she's seldom afraid to bare her secrets,



be they of the private or public variety.

Molly Sims



Miss Sims keeps a closet for each style of clothing.



Her midwestern flairs never mix with her leisures,



and each is a respectable collection.

Nikki Jayne



This Nikki digs the outdoors,



and she'll typically only look for sales that match that taste.

Nikki Ziering



This Nikki, however, prefers the comfort of the indoors,



a more keep-to-herself kind of gal,



unless of course a unique opportunity presents itself.

Kyla Cole



Finally, there's Kyla Cole.



A House of Georges favorite, Kyla always keeps one guessing.



Her styles range from serious to outrageous,



and they touch on the experienced,



but return to the innocent.



The many colors of her tastes are unknown to even her,



as she admits she finds she surprises even herself on occasion.



Miss Cole will seldom leave a blowout empty-handed,



her inventiveness for frugality an ever-evolving animal.

That's it for today. Coupons for this extravaganza courtesy of Gorilla Mask and Daily Niner.