Thursday ThumbTubes and YouNails: 7-17-08

Not only is Thursday a great day of the week, because it signifies the end of work being near for some folks, it's especially grand this week as it comes with the message that the All-Star break is over. Granted, the Homerun Derby (rather, pieces I saw of it on the replay last night) and the extra-innings All-Star game turned out to be pretty flipping righteous, it's high time we get back to regular baseball. Some folks -- Baltimore hosts the Tigers; Los Mets visit Los Rojos; Whale's Vagina travels to St. Louise; and the Pirates invade the Rockies -- will do that this evening. Of course, this means it's "go time" for clubs serious about playing baseball in the October, and it means that the doldrums of summer have mostly passed. Plenty of pilfered journalism after the jump.

The Big Lead closely examines the first-half successes of Franciso Rodriguez. Not only do they analyze the possibility of breaking former White Stocking Bobby "Don't Call Me Jenks" Thigpen's (Editor's Note: He used to be the greatest closer I ever saw!!!!!!!!!!) record, they bring in a Cornell student to do so. Nerds. What? Just how nerdy does it get? Glad you asked:

Using these two Weibull distributions adjusted for the number of runs scored and allowed per game for the Angels this season, we can determine three fairly accurate probabilities for the Halos entering the last inning with a one, two, or three run lead. And since probably nobody is reading this, I can type whatever I want Opaque Llama Uterus. [Ed. We love this guy!]...Obviously, more could be done in the prediction since we did not take opponents, stadiums, specific players, or other methods of getting saves into account, but Temperate Soul Reaver Tittie Garmin Chipotle. [Ed. Love Chipotle!]

Yes. Nerdy with a sense of humor.

I'm always saying -- Well, not really too anybody -- that this site would be better with more Star Wars anything.

Darth Vader Plays Golf | Viral | SPIKE.com

Thanks, Awful Announcing!

And, uh, there's this from AA too:

Bissinger leitch final final
by bsap11

Bugs and Cranks is getting a bit loony due to the lack of regular-season baseball; they've taken to conjuring up some oddities:



The Onion chimes in with the breaking news that Albert Pujols is the most awkward first baseman with whom to converse.



Uh, what? I'm mean, he's an oddball and such, but he's no Todd Helton.

It's Thursday, and we all know what that means. It's Balls-Deep-Thirty. This week, BDD offers the ingenious method of constructing earned football-watching time. Get on it, boys. Camp's around the corner, which means pre-season ball will be here before you know it. Thus, if you want your fall Sundays to look like this:



you'd best be building up your summer spare time with shit like this:



Believe it or not, this song was rolling through my vortex the day before yesterday. Don't ask why, but thanks to Flubby at KSK for actually giving us the real thing:



There are so many things that totally fucking rule about that song/video that I'd still be here next Thursday if I tried to list them. While you construct your list (Note: Mine already has Don Muracco, Bam Bam Bigelow, footage of Koko's version -- "the Brainbuster" -- of the suplex, and spanking it in a port-a-pottie), have a glimpse at some other KSK-provided inspiration.