Tradition-al Side Effects: The Split Household

As we have made it painfully obvious, the rough focus of this blog is the rivalry between the Denver Broncos and the Kansas City Chiefs. Seven and Cec' lead the pack of orange and blue, while I roll solo, cheerin' on them Chiefs. Each Tuesday, we bring you a state-of-the-rivalry address known as "Tradition Tuesday." This week, Seven had the honors, and he discussed the departure of former Bronco running back Travis Henry here. It's a feature that's great fun for us, and we hope our readers enjoy it, too. The nature of the weekly update stems from what we call The Tradition. Ultimately, it involves two glorious weekends a year; the first is Broncos weekend at Arrowhead, the second is Chiefs week at InVesCo, not necessarily in that order. Both contests, and the surrounding weekends are brimmed with inebriation, hoarseness, and good times all around. In the lots of our stadiums, however, we occasionally stumble (in every sense of the word) across some oddities. Jump aboard for an example of what I mean.

Decked in your club's gear at a visiting stadium always generates an underwritten sense of tension and animosity. For the most part, though, things are pretty chill amongst rival fans. Sometimes the overserved get out of line. From time to time a genuinely angry person will attempt to take his life failures out on you (or your wife). And every once in a while, there's the threat of the overserved angry guy that might trudge through your tailgate camp. Mostly though, folks are out for a good time, hopeful that their team wins, and enjoying a glorious day. Unless it's nighttime in Denver, and for Chiefs fans, those games are far from any sense of majesty.

For eight years now, we've chatted up friends and strangers of all varieties at these events, and we've come across some interesting scenarios. Perhaps the most intriguing of which, is the split household. In case it's not obvious, this would be where a Chiefs fan man marries a Broncos fan woman, or vice versa (Editor's Note: Same-sex marriages are strictly prohibited in the Choncosphere.). Now perhaps this works for some. Not I. I'd go so far as to speak for Cecil and Seven on this one, too. I mean, don't get me wrong: Our wives are hot. As we summed it last year at Arrowhead, we all overachieved. But my wife would have to be like this hot, or this hot. And work full time while I stayed home. And cook for me. And let me go out -- no questions asked -- with cash while she never left the house without me, plus clean, pay the bills, walk the dogs, and service the vehicles, before I married into a Bronco family. And even then, I'd only be in the "considering" stage.

It's inconceivable. Really. Sundays at the in-laws would be as forbidden -- and written into my prenup -- as infidelity or domestic abuse. I just don't think I could hang.

But we've seen it. We've heard stories of it, and even seen -- I speak truth here -- two half jerseys sewn together to represent the cute and amicable household that "supports" a Choncos-in-My-Briefs matrimony. Two weeks ago, at the Lone Reader's wedding, he and his lovely bride (a Browns fan) actually wrote into their vows "to have, to hold, to cherish, and to always root for the Chiefs except when they play the Browns" (and vice versa). It was cute and chuckleworthy.

I guess more power goes out to those that can put true love before football. I myself, can not. Given that that oddity is out there, we're over the shock of it, and prepared to one day see it again. What follows is an example of what we pray and hope, we will never, ever see.

Frank Quayle was a running back for the Denver Broncos. He was a fifth-round selection out of Virginia in the 1969 draft, and he carried the ball 57 times for 183 yards, and for reasons unbeknownst to me, that was his lone season in Denver, and in the league. He wore number 26.

Former NFL offensive lineman Willie Roaf joined the New Orleans Saints as a first-rounder in 1993, hailing from Louisiana Tech. He wouls sign with the Chiefs as a free agent in 2002, log four solid seasons, and add to his career total of 11 Pro Bowls in each of those years before hanging up the spikes. He sported the double sevens.

Both guys, in their own respects are owed honor by their respective clubs. Neither, however, should have their names (or their jerseys) tarnished by being subjected to the knittings of a split household.



It would be nothing shy of an atrocity.