Tradition Tuesday: Scoping the Choncosphere: 6-24-08

If the rough focus of this blog were the rivalry between the Colorado Rockies and the Kansas City Royals, I'd probably have been live-blogging tonight's one-out-away win over the Rockies at Kauffman Stadium. I'd probably mention last night's win (Update: It's over, with 14 Ks for KC!), which gives us the series victory, and I'd probably talk about how the American League Central has all but devoured the National League this year, and if I were a Colorado sports fan, I'd say something ultra-predictable and lame about how bad my opponents are, and how their fan bases come from a chemically-tainted, microscopic gene pool. But I'm not, and that isn't the focus of this blog. In fact, such a rivalry doesn't even exist. No, in case readership finds itself confused at this very moment, the focus centers on the rivalry between the Chiefs and the Broncos.

In a nutshell, The Iron Triangle attends both Chiefs-Broncos contests each year, clad in our clubs' gear, and while most road games are miserable, we somehow manage to have fun. Thus, Tradition Tuesday, where we keep the fire burnin' once a week with some exclusively KC-Denver highlights.

We know we ain't the only kids on the block that cover the Chiefs or the Broncos, but we could likely be the only ones that blog both. Therefore, we occasionally scope the efforts of those that clearly sit on one side of the fence.

Kim over at Predominantly Orange is, uh, bustin' some Bronco rhymes. Get your beatbox on, girl.

The crew over at Arrowhead Addict turned me on to the Pro Football Talk "Turd Watch," which is interesting to say the least. AA also links to this ABC story, that delicately suggests that former Chief Jared Allen struggles to steer clear of that demon liquor.

In the realm of Chonco player blogs, Chiefs safety DaJuan Morgan offers a two-part post on his trip to the Pro Football Hall of Fame. Funny, he doesn't mention anything about there being too much red and gold in Canton.

Of course, we can't forget BroncoTalk. Kyle and company have pronounced this glorious stretch of seven days "Smack Talk Week," where they're laying it on thick to all non-Bronco AFC West crews. Conveniently, today is Chiefs day, and BT had to work painstakingly hard to narrow its "Why the Chiefs Suck" list down to a mere five. Poor little donkeys. Now, the HoG is amicable with a few of the Broncos and Chiefs bloggers out there, and BT has even invited fans of smacked teams to return it in the comments, but I'm going to keep it in the House, and lay out my thoughts here.

Hey, look: We can start with the headline, "Five Reasons the Chiefs SUCK." Well, it's a good thing that last word was capitalized, because I'm certain most folks would've just overlooked it. Intro paragraphs aside, this quaint summary of Chiefs SUCKiness was ruined with the first listing. Why? It's called overstating the obvious, something so many Broncos fans get SUCKed in by all too often. The Chiefs haven't won a Super Bowl since 1969. Bee-dee-deep-buh-dee-beep-boop...This just in. Oh, wait...my bad. They haven't even been to one since then. Glad we cleared that up, because I'm certain most football fans had no idea that the Chiefs haven't made the big dance in such a spell.

But, hold the presses. The second item makes a funny! "You play to win the playoffs." That's good stuff right there. Not only does it cover the small amount of playoff wins the Chiefs have had since their last Super Bowl appearance (Editor's Note: If memory has failed, see previous paragraph.), but it makes fun of their head coach, too. Here's my favorite excerpt from reason two:

This brave organization must have at least a few playoff victories to show for its merits, right? Wrong. Since winning Super Bowl Numero Quatro, the Chiefs have a won a grand total of three playoff games.

Hmm. That's peculiar. Last time I was in school, I'd been taught that "a few" and "three" were synonymous, but that was some 40 years ago. Nineteen Sixty-nine, I think.

Next, it's stated that the Chiefs SUCK because they're honest about their rebuilding, a concept labeled just as such any time there's a change in head coaches. New guy, new philosophy, new system, new players. Pretty simple. I mean, even Dan Dierdorf understands. Then it's on to the statement that the April 2008 NFL draft wasn't successfully executed by the Chiefs. Right. Every expert and analyst that have been covering these things for their entire careers are wrong, but that's cool. Throw in a handful of exclamation points and some chat lingo, and your case is much more believable.

Suffice it to say that the final paragraph examines the apples-to-oranges Cutler vs. Croyle debate. The select sentences in said 'graph are so ridiculously tainted by orange and blue lenses, they're not even worth mentioning.

Speaking of champions that hoisted trophies 40 years ago though, Chris of Arrowhead Pride fame has been running a great series called "When We Were Champions." The latest installment features former Chiefs wideout Frank Pitts, but take heed: only those with secret decoder pins will understand the writing, as it's written in a hybrid of Sanskrit and ancient Hebrew, a relic of that aged Chiefs era of excellence.

Finally, there's this video, which I find baffling. I don't know why the NFL Network has published footage on the Web of an athlete describing how his former team operates in specific situations, unless of course the NFL hates the Broncos, which is certainly feasible. Have a look though, at former Bronco Clinton Portis demonstrating a Denver offensive line blocking scheme. And certainly, take special note, you in-denial chanters of "incomplete," at how he is put on the spot, and acknowledges, the cut blocking employed by his former club.

And that's gonna do it for this week. We'll do it again some time, say...next Tuesday?