Tradition-al Side Effects: The Split Household II

As we have made it painfully obvious, the rough focus of this blog is the rivalry between the Denver Broncos and the Kansas City Chiefs. Seven and Cec' lead the pack of orange and blue, while I roll solo, cheerin' on them Chiefs. Each Tuesday, we bring you a state-of-the-rivalry address known as "Tradition Tuesday." The nature of the weekly update stems from what we call The Tradition. Ultimately, it involves two glorious weekends a year; the first is Broncos weekend at Arrowhead, the second is Chiefs week at InVesCo, not necessarily in that order. Both contests, and the surrounding weekends are brimmed with inebriation, hoarseness, and good times all around. In the lots of our stadiums, however, we occasionally stumble (in every sense of the word) across some oddities. Jump aboard for an example of what I mean.

As I mentioned here, we've come across parking-lot scenarios wherein we meet Broncos fans who have married into a Chiefs family, and vice versa. I think I saw a recipe for that dish once. It looked a little something like this:

-2 cups fresh vomit
-1 1/2 cups stale urine
-one quart next-day Old Style beer shits
-1/4 # wormy dirt
-2 tablespoons mold
-3 teaspoons sewage runoff

-- Mix all ingredients in food processor or blender. Transfer to 4-quart sauce pot. Slowly bring to a boil. Allow to cool. Chug while slightly scalding tongue. Repeat every day for the rest of your life.

Dee-lish.

But, hey -- there're kids out there just crazy enough to do it. It likely involves Sunday game-time sharing when broadcasts coincide, lots of razzing from in-laws and friends, and a touch of domestic violence, especially if your teams are rivals and/or in the same division. A few of the folks we've seen have tried to play off this nightmare as cute by doing things like physically cutting two jerseys in half, then sewing one half of each together, forming a piece of football regalia with which I am not in agreeance. We've seen it, though, and are prepared to again. What follows is an example of what we pray and hope, we will never, ever see.

John Tait was a first-round draft choice by the Kansas City Chiefs in 1999. He had matriculated at the BYUs, and logged six seasons with the Chiefs before opting to play with the likes of Cedric Benson and Rex Grossman. Good times. In his career with the Chiefs, he recovered one fumble, and had one uber-smooth 28-yard scramble with the pigskin to set up the 2002 season-opening win in Cleveland, courtesy of Dwayne "Mistake-by-the-Lake" Rudd. He has yet to earn a Pro Bowl berth.

In 1961, the Denver Broncos chose defensive back Phil Nugent out of Tulane. They took him in the ninth round with the 65th overall pick, which is a bit mysterious, since allegedly, the Green Bay Packers drafted him 40th overall in the third round of that same draft. Those Broncos were crafty even then, I guess. The "Nug,'" though, only lasted one season, but managed seven interceptions, one for a 30-yard return. Seven picks in '61, is pretty darn good, I imagine. Thus, he should not be confused with this guy, or this guy, or the guy who contributes words here and here.

And any of them split-household spouses out there, take caution never to mix the jerseys of these two football players, lest a travesty occur:



(Editor's Note: I know, I know. The "I" is in the wrong spot. Good stitcher this broad was, I guess.)