Preview This

When the Blizzard got a building permit for this House and we started to erect it, I was adamant about one thing. I didn't want to feel compelled to cover anything, save for The Tradition. For instance, TO is going to say some shit, and thousands of sports opiners are going to weigh in on it. If I have a mandate to do the same how original or insightful is my input going to be? Fuck that. We throw ink at what needs it and let the rest of the world cover the mandatory beats.

This stance is all well and good, but I apparently underestimated the HoG's thunderous power. We now have legions, nay, battalions, of loyal readers who demand our unmatched wit and wisdom on all sorts of topics. If Bankmeister goes two days without breaking down Stanley Cup playoff tape, the masses file a class action suit. The people have spoken, and they want much, much more tasty HoG-flavored man sauce.

Specifically, previews. Everybody wants you to make a pick. I get this, as I myself love it when those who proclaim themselves experts make predictions that turn out horribly inaccurate. That's funny. So I'll play along, to an extent, and prognosticate on all sorts of bullshit.

Today a few things are going to happen. One is the beginning of the NHL Finals, where the Otaawaa Senators will try to knock off the Mighty Ducks of Los Anaheim. The...actually, I'm being informed that that sport is already over. Basketball? Didn't that end last week? I'd forgotten all about basketball. Apparently it's the NBA Finals tonight, and I'm going to preview it. Bitch all you want about my lack of enthusiasm for or knowledge about the Association, but we did assign guest columns recently to not one but two fellows. Both of these cats comment regularly and are huge NBA guys, and both shrunk from this challenge like balls in a glass of ice water. So you're stuck with me. Deal with it.

We also have some baseball to digest, of the amateur aluminum-bat variety no less. Today brings us the first-ever televised MLB Draft, and I'm sure the boys at the four-letter network will do their level best to ruin this formerly cool event. And we sit on the eve of the College World Series in Omaha, Nebraska, which I'm told is pretty rad. I know next to nothing about the ins and outs of high school and/or college baseball, but, again, the pressure from our audience is excruciating. I'll hit that too.

And what are my colleagues doing whilst I cater to your every whim and desire? I don't know. Bankmeister acts as though posting a few photos of boobs is like putting out alpine wildfires, and he's probably done for the week. Cecil is looking for the Yeti in the wilds of Bangladesh, and he may appear come Sunday. I hope so, because I'm going fishing this weekend and not watching sports of any kind. See ya soon.